We received a tip off from one of you lot (our loyal, ever adoring 2oceanvibe readers) saying that the pizzeria at the very end of Bree Street was definitely something to check out at lunch times. The main reason to go was apparently the staff – ’smoking hot’ we were told.

Well we were in for a treat – it turns out the food was as good as the staff! Our motive will definitely have changed next time we cruise round – although the angels will certainly make it a treat.

Four of us cruised in on Friday last week and were perched on an outside table. Immediately we were captivated. There was something going on. Something was alive. It’s the city buzz. Sun was streaming down and we were surrounded by the Cape Town City Cool Crowd – something we’re not used to. I’ll give it to you kids – very cool. But in amongst the city cool is a smattering of the observatory cool type – that laid back ‘hey whatever’ crew. One guy with his hair in braids and another table catering for an ad agency type with his new G4 apple mac laptop. This place certainly caters for the mixed crowd – something we like.

The staff have an attitude that draws you in – and they’re pretty hot I tell you what! Our waitress, Janna was an absolute star. She’s the kind of gal who would tell you to go f*ck yourself if you were out and said something at the wrong time…. but for now she’s all over everything and super sweet. The food came out perfectly – the Buitenverwagting Buiten Blanc (This season’s favourite again kids) was poured with such precision I thought she was a surgeon!

We pushed it a bit. We had the wine, the sparkling water, the started salad, the starter garlic pita bread and then pizzas all round. God those pizzas were amazing! I had the Morituri – bacon and avo I think. I added extra feta. Anyway check it out yourself. I also had a few bites of another one with salmon and caviar. Who says you can’t kick at a pizza joint?

But seriously guys and girls, when last did you go to a pizzeria which served fine wines? And when last did you have an exceptional genuine Italiano pizza? Pizza with 5 star service and a bit of vino for lunch on a Friday!! It’s f*cking crazy man!!! In the sun!! With gorgeous angels serving you! And serving you damn well I might add!

The place must rock at night time too. Such a vibe! We’ll sort that out another time but for now…… if there’s sun and it’s lunch time and you’ve got an hour on hand…. don’t waste your time at Tuscany Beach – come 5 minutes in land. Go to the botom of Bree Street to the parking area next to Investec – where Vacca Matta was/is and check out Colcacchio Pizzeria – you’ll be happy you did.

Did I mention that Colcacchio is the only pizza restaurant approved by the heart foundation? It’s true my love.

Thanks Janna…. gorgeous angel….

We hit Baraza in Camps Bay (next to Blues) for a toot before we went to Eclipse last week Thursday. There were these two youngsters spicing some tunes with a keyboard, flute and all other sorts of paraphernalia. Even machines with ‘Roland’ emblazened on the side!

Now listen to me. These kids were HOT! Hard to describe the music exactly. It’s the kind of music you’d play before going to rip Eclipse up. Up beat, electric, funk. J*sus, I don’t know!

They’re called Goldfish. Check out their website HERE.

Do yourselves a favour and stop by Baraza before you go to Eclipse. I presume they’ll be there again.

Well done to Thomas H who found this pic on Thunda.com and sent it in. It’s the TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) out last weekend. Good work Thomo! Looks like TBG is having a good time.

I will not get myself too worked up about this one because a person of such little importance doesn’t deserve more than a couple of words.

A friend of mine and I made the fatal error of doing a spot of shopping at the V&A Waterfront on Saturday morning at 9am.

GOOD GOD

Please promise us that you will never do the same thing! From start to finish everything was a dog show. There seems to be a very large amount of freaks who are from the Cape area but decide to wreak havoc at the Waterfront on Saturdays. They even take photos of each other as though we were at Disneyland. I started slitting my wrists when I found myself waiting in a ten-strong queue at Musica with only one till open. The chap in the front of the queue was arguing with the fool at the till for over ten minutes. Thank God I was buying Michael Buble who would sooth me on the way home. I know we slated Buble a few months back but we’ve matured a bit since then and we’re giving him another chance!

Moving swiftly on….. we decided to get some brekkie at Mugg and Bean which is situated at the front door of the new section at the Waterfront.

We sat in a section of the restaurant which was a bit away from the main action. As we sat I asked the manager if they would be able to handle us sitting where we were. It’s amazing that you can smell sh*t service before it happens. I was told everything would be fine. I expected the coffee I ordered to arrive before my eggs. Obviously it didn’t. I summonsed a waiter and reminded him of the coffee and asked if he could also bring some black pepper. Towards the end of my eggs I had received neither. I hunted around for black pepper and asked for the manager.

When ‘Kobus’ arrived and explained the situation and asked him what the problem was. I reminded him that I could smell the sh*t service when I walked in. Then something very bizarre happened. His eyes turned almost to slits (do it as you sit at your desk now – make your eyes slits – you need to picture this) and he gave a slight smirk (please smirk whilst holding your eyes like slits) and he gave very small slow nods (give small nods whilst smirking and keep the slit eyes) and he looked DIRECTLY INSIDE ME with a look that seemed to say:

“You try’na f*ck with me?”

Speechless, I asked for the bill and we got out of there. That’s when I thought I knew a little boy who needed a lie down.

Kobus, I don’t know who the f*ck you think you are but you should maybe stop drinking before shifts. Also please try to remember that you are a twenty-something BREAKFAST RESTAURANT MANAGER. You’re in the SERVICE INDUSTRY you revolting man – pull yourself together.

We had an early Thursday night so that we were ready for Friday night in the Northern Suburbs. My team mate and I packed our passports the night before and spent the whole of Friday going through the game plan.

Oozing sex, we cruised into Cubana. Obviously they had another 7/8 foot bouncer who must have had a stint in the NBA. WHERE DO YOU FIND THESE GUYS? We quaffed a couple of toots and decided to head towards El Vacco (Vacca Matta). Oh, must also mention that Ferdi (remember Ferdi from Big Brother? The one that made a quiet poo on the Big Brother lawn) was there looking after one of his tour groups. I must say, he has a wonderful recipe for looking after tour group. Three words…. GET THEM SMASHED. Obviously they’ll always have a good time. Good work Ferd.

After my team mate convinced me it would be fun, we stopped by Stones (snooker/pool establishment) before moving on to the Durbanville Mecca – Vacca Mecca. We were inside Stones for 28 seconds. I had visions of my face being cracked open on the corner of a pool table as my assailant’s buddy attempted to win the game by sinking the 8 ball into my eye socket. Moving on.

We had to deal with a small hiccup when we arrived as the portly fellow on the VIP door entrance had no idea how important we were and wouldn’t let us in. Thank God we threatened the lady at the front desk who was more than willing to give us our deserved stamp.

It was at this point that we ran into Durbanville’s only hope(s) in this years Homegrown Honeys competition.

WHY DO WE KEEP ON RUNNING INTO HOMEGROWN HONEYS?
WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON?

THERE ARE ONLY 100 and we’ve met 4 in a week!

“What are your names, girls?” we questioned. That’s when a very simple man in bad jeans and t-shirt walked past and said “Those chicks are homegrown honeys”. We knew what to do.

We took them up to the ‘VIP’ room and funnelled champagne down their throats. I chatted to the younger one who was as exciting as the food at Tuscany Beach restaurant in Camps Bay. Shame. Can you get more dull? My conversation topics included things like, “Wow, it must be quite nerve racking going head to head with your sister!!”.

Trust me guys, vote for Dani. Wait for her shoot and you’ll see what we mean. The two sisters look like Bambi in headlights. In fact, when they’re done looking into the headlights and they turn their heads, allowing the headlights to shine into their ears, their eyes light up. It’s true.

So the partying continued and we ripped the dance floor apart. The resident dancer at Vacca Matta is one of the hottest dancers I have ever seen. Michelle, just keep going angel!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MP4 VIDEO OF THE
VACCA MATTA DANCER (Michelle)
(1.62 Mb QUICKTIME FORMAT)

Oh, I think the song of the summer is that one that goes ‘Nah Nah Nah…. Oh Oh Oh’! Too mean!

Keep those reports coming in. this report was given to me verbally at Caprice on Sunday. Shame, our angels at Tuscany Beach restaurant in Camps Bay are getting so inventive when it comes to bad service.

Apparently a party of 8 had a table last week and the first incident included the finding of a ‘pube’ in the food. This could obviously have been someone’s hair which could have fallen into the food so we can’t get too excited about it. Although the kitchen staff should have a helmet of some sort on.

The kicker was the drink that tasted funny. The freakshow waiter was told about it and instead of taking it back to the kitchen,

HE DOWNED HALF OF IT AT THE TABLE TO TEST IT
THEN HE TOOK IT TO THE BACK

Shame. Who does your staff training guys? Is it the manager we saw the one night? The guy falling asleep, virtually drooling, against the till?

Thanks for the amusement. Keep it up. Between you and Bush it’s gonna be an action packed summer.

UNBELIEVABLE!!! Someone has sent in RARE VIDEO footage of the TBG in Elandsbay (’E-bay’ if you’re cool). This guys is a piece of work. Him and a fellow goon seem a bit pissed and are approaching a seal.

Turn the sound up, these guys are pretty funny.

TBG VIDEO 1

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TBG VIDEO(1.35Mb)

Right click and ’save target as’

You’ll need Quicktime Player

Thought we would also show this pic that someone else sent in. Apparently TBG was seen at KUAUI (sp?) on Friday. Good pic. Apparently the new Ericsson phones. STUNNING!

AMAZING!