While we’re still reeling from the news that there is a man running around posing as the TBG (who HAPPENS to be an England striker), we are relieved that true sightings of the man of mystery continue. God bless the TBG. Behold, a flurry of TBG sightings.

Although out of focus and hazy, there is no mistaking the relaxed, powerful demeanor of the TBG. This sighting, taken at the Twelve Apostles Hotel (a way-point stop for the Harley Davidson riders), shows the TBG particularly welcoming with a quiet toot in his hand. Recent reports of TBG sightings have shown the icon to be periodically ‘testy’ when it comes to photographs, often needing time to himself. Whilst one can’t help but to take pleasure in the sense of care that surmounts a room when the TBG is present, we must be aware of his wants and needs. The TBG is clearly in the right frame of mind for the attentions of this young aficionado.

The TBG

Poised, yet relaxed, at The 12 Apostles Hotel

And so we move on, with more TBG hysteria. Although some reports suggest the TBG wasn’t available for some photos, a few people at the Rock Star party managed to capture the TBG. Judging by the great man’s demeanor in these pics, we can clearly see he has a fun-loving nature. If the TBG had a mantra, it would probably be something to do with ‘fun-loving’.

And so, even more TBG sightings.

This sent in by Vanessa K, one of the TBG’s many female admirers.

She says she managed to get into his pants. I doubt it.

Sent in by Peter R.

The TBG…relaxed.. showing an ‘island style’ sign.

Again we see the TBG showing an ‘island style’ sign. This time with Adrian L.

Good pic, Adrian. The TBG looks happy – just how we like him.

The doting fan on the left, Steve R, clearly pleased as punch.

Wars will begin and end. Countries will unite and fall. Children will be happy one day, and starve the next. But the TBG will always be there. If only we could ALL have the opportunity to see him. The opportunity to speak to him. The opportunity to touch him. But most importantly…. the opportunity to be one with him – in mind and spirit.

Good luck out there.

No-one said the life of Cape Town’s man of mystery, the TBG, was all roses and glory – it can also have it’s pitfalls. Like when someone cruises around intimidating the great man. While we still yearn for more knowledge of who the TBG is and how he operates (let alone what actually makes him tick), we can only frown upon imposters who think its clever to try and confuse us.

I was sent a fake TBG sighting by the man in the right of the picture. The gentleman informed me that, although he was over the moon that he had finally met the Cape Town icon, he didn’t feel entirely satisfied. It’s times like these that make my job very difficult. Like doctors delivering bad news, it is me that has to inform this young man that the person he met was, in fact, an imposter. It’s not easy. Particularly when the photo reveals genuine joy in his eyes.

Keep an eye out for the man on the left. Do not be fooled. He is not the TBG. Thank God we have received some genuine TBG sightings of late – to lift us up from this terrible state of affairs.

The fake TBG. Do not trust this man.

There was always something that bothered me about News Cafe in Green Point but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It was suggested by a friend as a potential breakfast spot for Sunday morning. I asked if it was cozy enough. Apparently it was.

What joy on arrival to find that it was, indeed, cozy! With a full frontal fireplace and sofas – what a pleasure. Breakfast in semi-Winter next to a fire. God, this is good.

But then it fell apart at the seams.

I won’t go on about having to ask three times for my coke, or the fact that the actual breakfast took over 30 minutes to get to the table – these are not things to moan about – these things are normal – we are used to crap service. BUT DON’T FUCK UP MY EGGS WHEN I ASK YOU TO MAKE THEM ‘OVER EASY ‘.

To all breakfast chefs throughout Cape Town, ‘over easy’ fried eggs does not mean ‘hard’ fried eggs. It means lightly cooked on the yolk side. This generally forms a white film over the yolk. Usually created by momentarily flipping the egg over.

When I insisted to the waiter that the chef should be careful not to make them hard and that I only wanted a slight white film over the yolk, I thought he would’ve chatted to the chef about it. If I stress something so intricate, I am probably going to take note of the results when the food comes. The result produced two rock hard light yellow yolks. Why did you understand so well what I meant when I ordered, and yet you’re quite happy to bring me something COMPLETELY different? It was the only thing I stressed. I didn’t give a fuck about how your sausage came out, or how you should grill the tomato (longer next time)….. I just asked for one thing – my eggs over easy. I didn’t even articulate the migraine I was developing as a result of the front door that slammed every time someone entered the establishment. I just wanted over fucking easy eggs.

I ate an egg this morning, purely to photograph it. It wasn’t the hardest thing in the World. A little trick, crap chefs of Cape Town – place the lid of a pot over the eggs while they cook. It instantly and effortlessly produces an over easy egg. Without the risk of breaking it.

I’m not going to say anything. I’ll let these pictures and words I received to tell the story.

“On the subject of TBG out of his natural habitat, these photos were taken in the UK in the latter part of 2002 when he was part of a touring male stripper group called “The 3 Quarter Puffy’s”. We toured dingy pubs in classy towns such as Aldershot, Bracknell and Bognor Regis to name a few. We were in high demand until half the group contracted various STD’s (not the TBG I hasten to add) and were forced to quit. The other photo is of the TBG threatening one his fellow strippers after a disagreement about almond body oil. So there we have it, the TBG outside the borders of SA.” -(Anonymous)

The TBG in his early days. Just one of the guys.

Another side to the TBG. Dangerous. Threatening.