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Archive for January, 2006

TBG CHOOSES HEALTH OVER JUNK FOOD

Spotted at Kauai - Cavendish Square

17.01.2006

This year is getting off to an AWESOME start with regards to TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) sightings. Gordon G writes:

“Apologies for the quality of the photo. I had to use my camera phone while walking past him, to ensure I didn’t disturb him in his natural environment. He was looking a little sunburned. Clearly a symptom of spending some quality time on the beach over the last few days”

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Good work, Gordon. Although blurred, there is no mistaking the TBG! For me the big thing is that the TBG is choosing the healthier alternative to the various other fast foods out there. He almost has a sixth sense guiding him to be a good role model for kids and adults alike.

Keep it up people, we’re getting nearer and nearer to our goal – a full understanding of who the TBG is and what makes him tick.

Other TBG sightings



  

TBG SPOTTED AT MELISSA’S IN CLAREMONT

As TBG spends more time in the suburbs

17.01.2006

I am honestly blown away with the TBG sightings! 2006 is obviously the year of the TBG (Tall Blonde Guy). Two sightings in one week of the TBG. One in Wynberg, and one in Claremont! This is obviously sparking speculation that the TBG is “looking to buy in the Southern Suburbs”. But I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Please note the actual story of the sighting below:

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Again, the TBG chooses health

Sjoh! What a way to start the week!

As a simple farm boy from Paarl, a trip to Cape Town is always exciting.  Little did I know what was in store for me when I dropped off some of our fine Ziggurat Wild Card Chardonnay at Wine Concepts in Newlands…

After making my delivery I decided to head over to Melissa’s for coffee before my next appointment at Rafiki’s, where my wine is also available.  I may be from the other side of the boerewors curtain, but I gather Capetonians are quite sophisticated and a coffee with an English newspaper at a cafe is quite a cultured thing to do. (And when I say cafe in this context, I mean a place that actually sells coffee, not chips and coke, also a different experience for me).

While strolling across the parking lot, I remembered hearing that TBG had been sighted in nearby Wynberg and this got my heart racing.  With hindsight it was obviously his aura permeating out around him, filling the area with good vibes.  I also noticed the birds were singing unually loudly, and a butterfly settled gently on my shoudler.  But coming from the country, it seemed normal at the time.

I stepped into Melissa’s and was filled with all the pleasant aromas that a deli offers, and then my life changed forever…

Standing there at the buffet was TBG!  I couldn’t believe it, I had to do a double-take. Yes, it was really him.  I heard there were pretenders, but that feeling – like the rush from your first cigarette behind the cricket scoreboard – just washes over you.  Instantly, you know that all your problems can be overcome, you see everything with higher definition, and, just for a moment, you glimpse heaven.  And you know this is the real deal.

I’m sure you can all imagine what it’s like walking up to him and saying hello.  Pick your favourite celebrity, multiply that by a hundred and you’re still nowhere near it.  But yet, you feel compelled to do it.  So I strided over and with my bravest voice, stuck out my hand and introduced myself.

And what a legend!  Calmy, with cereal bowl in hand, he met me serene eyes and just put me at ease.  Clearly the dizzy price of fame hasn’t got to him.  Really chilled and down to earth, serving up some muesli and yoghurt.  I know Ringo Starr got in trouble for making comparisons to Jesus, but seriously, this is humbleness to be held up high!  You would expect a man of that stature to have steak for breakfast! (Again, being a great role model by not eating junk food – Seth)

Feeling guilty about intruding on his everyday life, I asked him for a photo, to which, naturally, he obliged.  I only had my phone with me, so the quality isn’t very good.  I now know the feeling of everyone who has ever seen Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster or Elvis.  Your camera always jams, runs out of film or if you do get a shot, it’s of such poor quality that nerds will be debating it for years.  Either way, your mates wont believe you and tell you to fuck off and buy your own drinks.

But, in the end all that matters, is that I know I saw him.  And it was a moment that will remain with me for ever.

Tomorrow, I’m making another delivery of Ziggurat Wine to Wine Concepts.  Could I be so lucky twice?  I  don’t think so.  A man as elusive and enigmatic as TBG is not a creature of habits.



  

TBG VENTURES AS FAR AS WYNBERG

Spotted outside boutique couture store in Chelsea village

13.01.2006

It is not often that we get sent TBG sightings from as far afield as Wynberg Chelsea. Spotted in a clothing store by Nick W, he noted the TBG’s new sunglasses and chrome style helmet. He was said to have been “warm and friendly”. Of course he was! God bless you TBG.

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Rare TBG sighting in Whyberg Chelsea



  

BAD MANNA’S

'Manna Epicure' Restaurant on Kloof, Cape Town

5.01.2006

Manna (Epicure) Restaurant on Kloof Street was the venue for our New Year’s day headache. I had been to the establishment before, but only for half an hour. I looked forward to my next visit and was glad that the time had finally arrived. After an extravagant lavish New Year’s night, I really wanted to follow through with a good solid New Year’s day lunch. I visualised a number of bottles of wine and good food. I also wanted very badly for Manna Restaurant on Kloof to be the hidden gem I desperately need/ed in my restaurant repertoire. I did the odd drive by and was very much sold on the serene, crisp, fresh, white linen vibe that hits you as you drive past. All of the tables and chairs are white, the walls are white, the staff wear white and pretty much everything else is white. It’s a nice vibe to go for and I’m sure they’ve had a few column centimeters thrown around, stating how clever it all is. Unfortunately they don’t realise that the key to a slick vibe is to be slick all the time, even on New Year’s day. If you’re open on 1 January just to feed the community then please, open up a soup kitchen, or don’t open at all. That said, the excuse “It was New Year’s day” does not apply here. If I had known it was amateur hour I would have rather gone to the Woolworths 24 hour garage in Gardens and had an all-day-breakfast sandwich.

Manna Epicure on Kloof – All the makings…

My favourite game of walking deep into a restaurant and standing in the middle of nowhere until somebody realises that an actual human-being has walked in, kicked of the proceedings. We used our initiative and approached a table which was being cleared up by a poor man’s Val Kilmer lookalike who couldn’t see what he was doing because his eyeballs were stapled to a very sweet table of guys behind us. Kilmer’s eyeball stapling also caused him to bring me the poor man’s parma ham (they have another name for it), instead of my original request – salmon. I made use of the R90 screw top wine, hoping to dissolve the scene that was unfolding.

Val Kilmer – now working at Manna on Kloof

We discussed the merits of Manna employing models to compensate for the rather bland-looking clientele. Our conversation caused a temporary escape from reality and a subsequent realisation that the staff no longer knew that we existed. I asked our ginger haired manager if he could see us or whether this was perhaps the twilight zone. Acknowledging their error, he offered us compensation in the form of complimentary dessert. Because, let’s face it, dessert is exactly what you feel like in 30 degree weather with a slight hangover on board. We forced down some cheesecake. Naturally the bill came with the desserts included.

There were a few more balls ups including incorrect drinks orders and the like but I’m not going into detail – I think we all get the point. Sometimes food is so good that people can forgive even the worst service. The food at Manna was great…. when it arrived (and after we were allowed to order it). Naturally, success/reputation can very easily breed complacency. I think we should keep in mind that there is a point where shit service surpasses amazing food.



  

LONDONER SPOTS TBG ON HOLIDAY

"A dream come true" for British tourist in Cape Town

3.01.2006

We were sent in a series of photographs from an Englishman on holiday in Cape Town. Johnny V from London had this to say, “When I came over to Cape Town on holiday, the last thing I expected to see was the TBG! Everyone I know in London knows about the TBG and would love to meet the enigma. Seeing sights such as Table Mountain and Robben Island is an absolute treat. But to meet the TBG is surely a once in a lifetime experience! Thanks for being so patient, TBG!”

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Johnny V from London just ‘mucking about’ with the TBG

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The TBG seems to enjoy the visitor



  

TBG SIGHTING BY MR 2OV CONTENDER

In a bizarre twist of fate

1.01.2006

What are the odds? Jared has been fortunate enough to spot the TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) whilst he jockeys for positions in this year’s Mr 2oceansvibe competition. It’s like a lottery win! As we know, meeting the TBG has been some people’s dying wish; securing a place in the runnings for Mr 2oceansvibe is just as difficult. Yet here we have Jared who has done the double! You can count your lucky stars, Jared.

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A very relaxed TBG