Look, they HAVE hiked the price up to R7 from their initial launch price a number of months ago of R6. We won’t have a go at them for that. You’re still able to use car guard money in your ashtray to pay for 2 eggs, 2 slices of toast, 2 strips of bacon, 2 slices of grilled tomato and ostrich wors. I know, you’re probably a little bit thrown now. You’re probably wondering what the catch is? Don’t fright, it’s all very simple. I’ve been going there for morning meetings with The Marketing Guy for ages and it just keeps on happening.

Another nice thing about Arnold’s Restaurant on Kloof Road is the staff seem to know you. They understand what you want. They don’t get confused and they smile. There are three or four ‘hosts’ in the restaurant cruising around helping out. They’re big guys who scream and shout from every corner of the restaurant to the other staff and the kitchen – great atmosphere and the food comes out at lightning speed.

Try it for yourself – you know we only choose the best for you.

Arnold’s restaurant, 60 Kloof Road, Gardens, Cape Town.

It is always a life changing experience when people strike it lucky and get to meet the TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) – let alone when they manage to get a photograph with the great man. But it is a particularly rare occasion when someone’s moment with the TBG coincides with their birthday. Such a gift on one’s birthday would surely be close to a miracle.

Robbie S from Cape Town sent this in.

This is what he had to say:

The day did not begin well.

I was struggling to come to terms with my 35th birthday and how the hell I had come to already be halfway to 70!!

During the day everyone was sweetly calling and wishing me their best for the day and the year ahead. My family was planning a tea party mostly in aid of the kids scoffing cake and sweets in my honour and friends were planning my drunken downfall in the pub later that evening. I had been really spoilt by my mates at work with some incredible gifts and things were really starting to look like being 35 might not be so bad after all!

So with work finished, we all arrived at our local watering hole, Cafe Verdi – our home away from home in Chelsea, Wynberg. I walked in anticipating all the regulars would start shouting obscenities about old age and thrusting drinks in my face, but then it happened….

There was a clear perceptible drop in the temperature, and the breeze blowing over Chelsea village suddenly felt a lot cooler. The room went silent. Even the birds that had been chirping outside minutes earlier, had all flown to their nests.

In front of me in the flesh….

A thin halo of light surrounding him……

On MY birthday….

THE TBG!!!………

Yes, I kid you not….. I can almost hear you gasp as you read this…

THE FRIKKIN TBG……. on MY birthday!!

But wait it gets even better. The TBG got up from his bar stool (which is now engraved at cafe Verdi and no-one may sit on it ….. ever again) and glided over to me, with his palm outstretched.

“Happy Birthday Rob” he said, with a smile that lit up the whole room.

What wise words! What an insightful understanding soothing tone. I no longer felt old, it was as if the touch and the voice of the TBG had washed away all my fears and replaced it with a warm appreciation of life.

As if he could read my mind (he probably could) he took me to stand in front of the framed picture of Verdi to commemorate this auspicious occasion with a photo together.

As you will see from the photo, I am trying to lean in just to feed off the radiating glow of the TBG, behind us is a portrait of Giuseppe Fortunino Francesco Verdi. Do you see how Verdi pales in comparison to the might TBG?!

Who cares if Verdi was the most influential member of the 19th century’s Italian School of Opera – did he ever have a picture taken with the TBG!? I think not! I can almost feel Verdi’s eyes boring into the back of my head with jealousy!

After a drink, the TBG vanished ( the beer glass is now engraved at Verdi and can not be drunk out of……ever again). He probably went off to go and make someone else’s day incredible.

It was a truly remarkable sight and one that will never be forgotten by those who witnessed it.

Thank you mates for making this happen!

Thank you Lord!

Thank you TBG!!

Robbie S

UN BE LIEVABLE!

Robbie S, that is one of the most touching, amazing TBG sighting I have every read. You are incredibly lucky and God has blessed you. I am close to tears now and need to sign off.

God bless the TBG.

I know, I’ve been quite distant lately. But it’s nothing to do with you – don’t blame yourself. I think I know what has caused it. You see, a week or so ago I popped into Harley’s liquor on Buitengracht Street (defiantly open on Sundays) to top up on the stock of Jamesons at the safe house. I have the Skyy vodka for the good times, but I need the Jammies for Sundays – particularly Sunday nights. Harley’s had run out of Jamesons and I had no option but to buy Johnny Walker black. I don’t hate it, but it doesn’t allow me to churn out the drivel that you’re used to. Don’t blame me, blame Harley’s. Anyway, I went back today and it seems they have sorted out their stock take issues. Welcome back Jammies. God it’s smooth. ‘Triple distilled’ is obviously a good thing.

It seems neither e-TV nor MNET won the Sunday night 8 o’clock movie war – with MNET giving us ‘Taxi’ with Queen Latifah and e-TV farting out ‘The 6th day’ with Arnold Schwarzeneggar (is that racist?) – both of which create as much excitement as a tray of stuffed eggs. I have settled for a new DVD I bought – Billy Joel live at the Yankee Stadium….. an absolute treat.

“Oh my God! I ALSO love Billy Joel!!!!”

“Whatever…”

Speaking of food, I had another perfect breakfast at La Cuccino at the bottom of Suikerbossie in Hout Bay (turn left at the lights at the bottom then it is a part of the small shopping centre on your right) – and I felt they needed a mention. I had gone twice before with G-man and thought I would tempt fate and see if they could succeed three times in a row – a rarity in Cape Town. Take a bow, La Cuccino.

Ok, that was a bit dramatic. “Take a bow” – Christ, give me a break.

Seriously though, I just felt so content at the end of my meal. I’ve only ever eaten the same thing there – poached eggs, toast, bacon, grilled tomato and grilled banana. I know, grilled banana is not what you’re used to for breakfast and certainly not something that I would normally allow. I can’t stand banana on pizza and the thought of banana served warm generally makes me nauseous – but it seems to go down a treat at La Cuccino’s. It’s not just the banana that makes me happy – it’s a combination of everything. It’s all good. They even have a fridge section with sauces and home made deli-style products. I bought the Harrisa chili sauce that has been warmly received at the safe house.

They seem to have a good following and on closer inspection appear to cater for a diverse crowd. On your left you’ve got your new-Audi station wagon couple who ‘feel bad’ about leaving Romeo, their Ridgeback puppy at home, and on your right you’ve got four early-20’s angels with Chanel dark glasses on – nursing post trance party come-downs. I am told that weekdays produce an orgasm of bored, hot Range Rover housewives (including the Constantia private school mums I’m sure – the kind that’ll give Heather Mills a run for her money) – something I intend to investigate. None of Hout Bay’s tree people were anywhere to be seen – not a bad thing. Don’t give up on making Hout Bay a republic, guys.

Shame.

Ok, I think that’s enough for now. The Jammies is taking it’s toll and Billy is about to sing Piano Man.

Much love.