You know, just when I thought everyone knew the rules, some arsehole always seems to phone about business, or schedule a meeting, after one o’ clock on a Friday.

Absolutely bizarre! Who ARE these people?

Can’t you see everything work related ceases to exist after one on a Friday? Can’t you see that even the “working” Capetonians drink beers at their desks from one on a Friday?

Here is an idea of things to do on a Friday. Have a look at these pics taken last week when the ocean forgot how to make waves for five days.
(With apologies to the ex-pats)

Back to the story. I’m talking about those guys who like to pretend. You know the ones I’m talking about. Those ‘meeting hunters’ who feel that nothing can be accomplished without a physical hour together. They duck and dive and cheat and lie to trick you into having a meeting. But that’s not the end of it – they’ve got your hand and they’re not stopping till they rip the whole fucking arm off.

“Hey Seth! I was thinking we should have that meeting we chatted about towards the end of the week. How does that sound?”.

[I'm already quite edgy at the mention of the words "towards the end of the week". To be QUITE honest, I personally can't find a more comfortable time than 10h30 on a Tuesday for a 40 minute meeting]

“Umm, ja…..cool….I suppose. When were you thinking?”, I stutter.

[I use a tone of voice that, I hope ,indicates how HORRIFICALLY awkward I am feeling. My tone of voice could probably be compared to that of a 10 year old boy boy reluctantly agreeing with a priest that playing with his penis is a good idea]

“Well, I was thinking three o’ clock on Friday”

[Sweet Mary, Mother of God. Is this guy on crack?]

“I beg your pardon”, I allow him to rethink.

Our boy is clueless, “I said three on Friday is looking good for me”, he repeats.

WELL ITS NOT LOOKING GOOD FOR ME, FUCK NUT!

And so we are forced to lie about a conference that is going on “the whole of Friday”. Shame on you for making me lie!

I don’t know who these people are and I don’t know what they’re trying to prove, but no-one is impressed. Maybe they’re new in town and they haven’t heard about the rule. Maybe they’re from Jo’burg and they’re trying to show us how HARD and LATE they work. Well I am VERY impressed! You guys work VERY hard, now get me a gin and tonic with a twist of lime.

If you MUST have a meeting on a Friday, the only one you can do is the one at 10h30 at Caprice. That’s the one that goes on until the sun sets. Chat about business for ten minutes, then relax-ay-vu. In fact, I think that is what I”m supposed to be doing with James Stewart tomorrow. We’re collaborating on a new album.

Are we on, Jammo?

You know, just when I thought everyone knew the rules, some arsehole always seems to phone about business, or schedule a meeting, after one o’ clock on a Friday.

Absolutely bizarre! Who ARE these people?

Can’t you see everything work related ceases to exist after one on a Friday? Can’t you see that even the "working" Capetonians drink beers at their desks from one on a Friday?

Here is an idea of things to do on a Friday. Have a look at these pics taken last week when the ocean forgot how to make waves for five days.
(With apologies to the ex-pats)

Back to the story. I’m talking about those guys who like to pretend. You know the ones I’m talking about. Those ‘meeting hunters’ who feel that nothing can be accomplished without a physical hour together. They duck and dive and cheat and lie to trick you into having a meeting. But that’s not the end of it – they’ve got your hand and they’re not stopping till they rip the whole fucking arm off.

"Hey Seth! I was thinking we should have that meeting we chatted about towards the end of the week. How does that sound?".

[I'm already quite edgy at the mention of the words "towards the end of the week". To be QUITE honest, I personally can't find a more comfortable time than 10h30 on a Tuesday for a 40 minute meeting]

"Umm, ja…..cool….I suppose. When were you thinking?", I stutter.

[I use a tone of voice that, I hope ,indicates how HORRIFICALLY awkward I am feeling. My tone of voice could probably be compared to that of a 10 year old boy boy reluctantly agreeing with a priest that playing with his penis is a good idea]

"Well, I was thinking three o’ clock on Friday"

[Sweet Mary, Mother of God. Is this guy on crack?]

"I beg your pardon", I allow him to rethink.

Our boy is clueless, "I said three on Friday is looking good for me", he repeats.

WELL ITS NOT LOOKING GOOD FOR ME, FUCK NUT!

And so we are forced to lie about a conference that is going on "the whole of Friday". Shame on you for making me lie!

I don’t know who these people are and I don’t know what they’re trying to prove, but no-one is impressed. Maybe they’re new in town and they haven’t heard about the rule. Maybe they’re from Jo’burg and they’re trying to show us how HARD and LATE they work. Well I am VERY impressed! You guys work VERY hard, now get me a gin and tonic with a twist of lime.

If you MUST have a meeting on a Friday, the only one you can do is the one at 10h30 at Caprice. That’s the one that goes on until the sun sets. Chat about business for ten minutes, then relax-ay-vu. In fact, I think that is what I”m supposed to be doing with James Stewart tomorrow. We’re collaborating on a new album.

Are we on, Jammo?

Following the recent success of The 2006 Bunker Boy Classic, there was bound to be a summary of the intensity found within the company of the TBG. The TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) took part in the BBC and put his power and aura to good use.

This, from Dan N:

The TBG, with three very lucky young men

Seth,

The Bunker Boy Classic – as advertised on 2Oceansvibe last week – turned out to be an exceptional event, with a remarkable addition to the field.

There were plenty of stars on show, from rugby legends Robbie Fleck and Robbie Kempson, to renowned political rights activist Phil Venter, who’d just come off a hunger strike in support of Shoprite workers. But even former Mr 2Oceansvibe Richard Neville – the poor man’s Pieter Dixon – faded into the background when, striding through the morning rain, the Tall Blonde Guy suddenly appeared at Kleinmond Golf Club…

To be honest, while there’d always appeared something striking about the TBG in pictures, I was a little skeptical about the supposed aura of the man; no doubt whatsoever anymore. The TBG appeared to walk across a water hazard towards the clubhouse, where he proved beyond doubt his mystique.

The kitchen at the golf club had caught fire, leaving barely any food; armed with nothing but half a dozen fish fingers, and a couple of bread rolls, the TBG fed the entire field of golfers. Then he smiled, turned, and strode out towards the horizon, a giant of a man.

I still get a shiver down my spine just recalling it – and can picture quite clearly the single, awe-struck tear running down Robbie Fleck’s cheek. I’ve walked the course with Ernie, played with Gary Player, hung out with Samuel L Jackson at the Nelson Mandela Invitational – none of them compare with experiencing the spiritual delight inspired by the TBG.
May we all, one day, be touched by his presence,
Dan N

What beautiful words. Thank you, Dan N. I canot believe I missed the Bunker Boy Classic this year. I wish I was there, near the TBG – but I am sure everyone agrees that the Leeuloop Investigation in Parys was something that had to be done for the sake of all the 2oceansvibe readers.

Another TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) sighting, another small piece of insight into the world of a man who has graced Cape Town with his great presence and his great aura, that seems to encapsulate our every waking moment. To be closer to finding out what makes the Great Spirit tick, can only bring us closer to a more fulfilling existence.

This, the latest TBG sighting, from one Camilla H:

The birthday girl gets her birthday wish

I spotted TBG on Friday night at Roosevelts. I was not 100% sober and my senses were definitely not fully alert. He was chatting up two gorgeous ladies when I approached him (respect). After initial reluctance and eyeball rolling he agreed to have a picture with me as it was my birthday. I know at least a third of the people at the club were 2oceansvibe readers and I believe I was the only person to be granted this privilege. He held himself with the dignity and aplomb you would expect from any local celebrity. I had a fantastic birthday but meeting the TBG was the highlight and a truly unforgettable experience. Let this be a lesson to all those losers who chose to frequent lesser nightclubs/sweatpits after dinner in favour of a mingling with beautiful people, listening to great music and sipping rohypnol-free cocktails in town. YOU LOST OUT!

Camilla H

Absolutely AWESOME, Camilla! JUST LOOK AT HIM! So relaxed, so REAL….and yet…so far away. And what safer place to be from the grips of royponol than in the grips of the enigma that is the TBG.

God bless you, TBG.