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Archive for August, 2008

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

As EuroMillions lottery rolls over for a sixth time - jackpot stands at R1.3 BILLION

31.08.2008

Seriously, this is very radical shit happening here.

I can’t believe it.

Friday’s lottery did not produce a winner and the EuroMillions lottery has rolled over for a SIXTH TIME.

Next Friday’s kackpot is sitting at €110,000,000.

In Pounds : £89,000,000 (89 million Euros. Say that out loud).

In US Dollar : $163,000,000 (163 million Dollars. How does that sound?).

In ZA Ront : R1,335,000,000 (Now say this out loud “one point three billion Rand).

I can’0t type pr0p0rly anym0r0 ‘cos I ke0p wa0nting t0 typ0 zer0es the wh0le time! Millions of zer0es, everywh0re I l00k!!!

There is only one word to describe this. It’s what I call “nuts.”

This is nuts!

Click here to check it out for yourself.



  

ONE BILLION RAND

The biggest rollover lottery jackpot so far this year!

29.08.2008

Not since 2007 has a rollover draw gone over R1 billion.

I want to tell you something. It is a God given FACT that YOU can win that money. The last time it hit a jackpot of A BILLION RAND, it was won by ONE person. Some guy. A very happy guy.

I’ll tell you another fact. If he didn’t buy the ticket, he wouldn’t have won the money. That, my friends, is another FACT.

Everything I am telling you today is very FACTUAL.

It is also a FACT that the buying process is completely safe on the PlayEuroMillions website and no matter how much money you win, you will get the money. PlayEuroMillions have NEVER had a problem with jackpot payouts. Have a look for yourself.

So you can umm and arr for as long as you want and it will still boil down to the number one FACT of this entire article: YOU GOTTA BE INNIT TO WINNIT.

 

wide current estimate
CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS
SAFELY ONLINE NOW

(CLOSES AROUND 18H00 SA TIME)

 

Imagine if you don’t buy tickets and the winning numbers are the same ones as you would have had on your ticket. God, how emboerrissing. Wouldn’t you feel like a knob-end?

I think you would.

I certainly would!

That’s why I bought my tickets. Five, to be exact.



  

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

As Cape Town braces itself ahead of a monuMENTAL storm this weekend

29.08.2008

I found the following writeup by Spike on the Wavescapes.co.za website. You will quickly work out that we’re in for a bit of havoc this weekend, here in the Fairest Cape.

 

storm

 

Forecast – Last Update
(Spike, Friday 29 August)

Well, the yo yo of the models continues. Upgrade, downgrade, upgrade, downgrade. Either way, a gigantic flame ball of a storm as big as the lower half of Africa, comprising no less than eight countries, is forming below South Africa. The fetch area is as big as South Africa, Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Swaziland and Lesotho combined, and goes down to 942 minibars at the epi-centre. Epic.

Building on Friday, it rams up from a SW to SSW direction, hitting the SW Cape (Columbine to Agulhas) with galeforce 40kts NW wind from 2-3pm Saturday, strong winds right into Namaqualand. Batten down the hatches, it’s going to get ugly. By Saturday afternoon, the swell is becoming giant from a long 40-50 kt fetch surging in from behind, with swell in Cape Town going huge 25-35 feet at a wild and crazy mixture of sizes and shapes, with a lot of SW in the direction. Chaos. However, the storm is hitting diagonally across the SW Cape, and the E Cape is still light Westerly on Saturday, the first signs of the storm coming in from the West late on Saturday in the form of strong NW devils’ winds.

In Cape Town, the wind abates to near gale Saturday afternoon, then smashes through galeforce 40 kts SW in the evening, the second part of the storm furiously assaulting the coastline Columbine to Agulhas overnight into Sunday, when howling NW devils winds overnight Saturday in the S to E Cape go strong to galeforce SW, spreading past EL later. While the swell East of Agulhas is building on Saturday, it only peaks Sunday afternoon and especially Monday, with HUGE 40-50 foot seas everywhere. Giant surf due to a very SSW angle, perfectly positioned to blast past headlands and points, to surge into all manner of nook and cranny.

Sunday at dawn, it is huge between Cape Columbine and PE. Tafelberg will be 40 feet but messy with residually fresh SW winds. Go Twiggy and other tow mulletjies ! The points in the E Cape get bigger and bigger all day Sunday, becoming GIANT, with all but the most extreme-angled bays completely out of control 15-25 feet, and J-Bay likely to be a crazy 10-15 foot PLUS.

Early Sunday, NW prefrontal winds hammer the Wild Coast, rapidly going strong to galeforce SW while SW gales are peaking at 45 kts along the Southern to E Cape. The buster cracks up the coast, smashing into KZN on Sunday afternoon to evening at less strength than the Cape. An extra boost in the centre of the storm to hurricane force on Saturday night deep in the south is responsible for a sudden surge in period to 18 seconds, which occurs Monday along the Southern to E Cape, when the swell is ridiculous – one of the most powerful long range swells and it lasts right through to Thursday. In fact Tuesday and Wednesday could be off the charts with such potent period packing this long-winded pulse.

[more here]

 

So, basically, we’re fucked.

If you’re a surfer, or anyone who wants to know what is going on out in the waves, check out Wavescapes.co.za – action packed with info, videos, pics etc.

Mondo!

 

[thanks jase]



  

EMAIL FODDER

Doing the rounds

29.08.2008

 

pic05160

 

[thanks iron mike]



  

1 TIME AIRLINES ONLY USE THE MD-82 PLANE

Ja, the one that went down in Spain

29.08.2008

You know the article I wrote last week about the plane that went down in Spain last week? The one that killed around 150 people?

Ja, so anyway, that plane was a MD-82. It’s the ONLY model that 1 Time airlines use.

Good luck with that.

 

spanair-md-82
The MD-82 – 150 people dead

 

They go down the whole time. So much so that Justin S wrote in:

 

Hey Seth,

Saw you did an article on the plane crash in Madrid. Those goddamn MD-82s. Been a favourite of low cost airlines around the world, including our own (although I think Kulula may have stopped using them recently and it’s just 1time). I’ve never trusted them and refused to fly them. Rattletraps!

Every make and every model, even sub-model (Say Boeing 737-300) have a history and some of them are particularly prone to known failures and design weaknesses. It’s mostly the older ones, as the newer updated versions of those models have the design flaws fixed. And then all these shitbox planes endup at the low-cost airlines who don’t take care of sorting it out properly.

I’ve actually had my assistant re-arrange international flights completely because certain legs I noticed were flown on a plane that I did not agree with! I’m such a plane snob, hehe.

 

I agree. We should become plane snobs.

IT WILL ALL BE FINE WHEN WE WIN THE ONE BILLIONS RAND JACKPOT IN TODAY’S LOTTERY.

That’s when we can buy the BBJ and everything will be fine.

bbj
The Boeing Business Jet – much better!

Life is precious, people. Become a plane snob..



  

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY MICHAEL JACKSON

Shamon, hee heeee

29.08.2008

The Insurance Broker is no doubt in his element today as the gloved one turns 50!

 

jackop
No matter how hard he tried, Michael couldn’t get rid of the smell.

 

This, from MSNBC:

 

Michael Jackson turns 50 on Friday. What do you get for the man who has everything, including a killer discography, a couple of sexual assault accusations, at least one white glove, a sprawling ranch teetering on foreclosure, a family that can only be described as indescribable, and a button nose that often looks unbuttoned?

Reaching The Big Five-Oh is a profound event in every life. But for Michael, it represents a fork in his moonwalking path. One direction will take him to his own personal neverland, as in never be seen or heard from again. The other will lead him back to stardom and his rightful place atop the pop throne.

Which way will he go? Now that he’s 50, will he make it to 60? And what will he be like if he does?

[more here]

 

Nice.

I would also like to take this opportunity to wish my God-daughter Anna happy birthday, as well as Justin M and Pete T. Nice guys! Have a glorious day!

And to G Man and The Lawyer for hitting the two year mark.

And to Lindi for having five puppies last night.

My god, it’s all happening!



  

THARIN ROBERT GARTRELL

Potential Obama Assassin

29.08.2008

For those of you who slept through today and yesterday and the day before, this guy was possibly thinking about killing Barack Obama.

 

41840255
Tharin Robert Gartrell – Mellow

 

This, from ABC news:

 

Three men, one of whom allegedly has strong ties to a white supremacist gang, have admitted to a “crude” plan to use a rifle to kill Sen. Barack Obama, federal law enforcement sources told ABC News.

Three men confess to federal agents that they had planned to shoot Barack Obama.The sources said the men planned to seek a high vantage point overlooking Invesco Field and open fire with .22 and .270 scope-equipped rifles, though federal authorities have emphasized that there was no immediate, credible danger to the candidate.

Obama, who will travel to Denver this week, is set to accept the Democratic Party’s nomination for president and speak at the stadium Thursday.

[more here]

 

Hectique!

Two things.

1) It is a pre-requisit for assassin’s to have three names.

2) I love the guy, but I’m afraid it’s not going to stop. There are some crazy people out there.



  

INTERESTING VIBE

Durbs has it all

27.08.2008

I touched down in Durban on Saturday lunch time and went straight to the stadium for the Australia vs. SA Tri-Nations game. I was in town to get footage of John Smit for our new TV Show which launches live on SuperSport 1, 21h00, Friday, 5 September.

Oh ja, I’m dead fucking serious.

Look out for promo’s running over the next week. Bob Skinstad, The Character Formerly Known As The Loose Forward will be hosting it and you’ll smell the 2oceansvibe flavour running through..

The sports/lifestyle show is called Luv Sport and that’s all I’m telling you for now. I will also tell you that it will be the number one show on TV.

Oh, and The Roofer will be on it as well.

I swear to God.

So anyway, DT drove me to the stadium and he also managed to get this shot of the kind of stuff one can find in Debben.

 

23082008288

 

Perfect!



  

TUESDAY TABS #95

Lucy Pinder visits for the second time

26.08.2008

It’s certainly not in the “classy” style that we are accustomed to with 2oceansvibe’s Tuesday Tabs, but we’ll let it slide. After all, she has been on before.

She is in that more “busty” category.

Look, there is room for that from time to time.

 

lucy-pinder-tt-
Lucy Pinder – driving
Click pic for NSFW image

 

Bang!

That is what people mean when they refer to them as “hooters.”



  

SIENNA MILLER

Out of favour

26.08.2008

This is the wall of Sienna Miller’s Norf London home.

 

11121-12
Someone has indicated their belief that Sienna Miller is a “slut”

 

It’s not what you want to find in the morning when you leave your home.

I once walked out of my place (when I was living with The Hooker and The Insurance Broker in Harfield (that place was a shit hole, guys)) and someone had taken shaving cream and drawn a massive set of breasts on the entrance to the driveway of the complex.

That’s not as bad as “slut,” I suppose.

Maybe that is because she is a homewrecker..



  

LET’S GET BACK TO BASICS

The computer - in its simplest form

25.08.2008

basics
The basic home computer

 

That is pure quality.

It would be cool if the Music button took you STRAIGHT to this song every time. As a starting point.



  

MOTHERLESS MONDAYS

I can ONLY imagine the carnage

25.08.2008

I’ll be honest, I felt a cold chill down my spine when I saw this flyer in my inbox. I can remember different names for different party nights – like “Thirsty Thursdays” and “Monday Madness” (Taboo days..). But never before had I heard a name so incredibly powerful and descriptive as MOTHERLESS MONDAYS!

Hahaha! Jesus, can you IMAGINE?! Openly throwing around the word “motherless” on a flyer! That is Hectique! bru.

 

motherlessp-mondayas
Motherless Mondays at Wadda Bar

 

Such powerful imagery.

It’s a fact that people will be motherless tonight at Wadda Bar in Claremont.

Motherless!



  

WE’LL CHAT ABOUT THIS LATER IN THE WEEK

But I just wanted to ask..

25.08.2008

..if you had noticed that the lottery rolled over again?

I swear to God, Click here to see for yourself. It’s sitting at ONE BILLION RAND for Friday’s draw.

It’s the biggest rollover lottery this year. FACT.

I just wanted to say that. That’s all.

We’ll chat more about it on Friday. Click here to check it out in the meantime.



  

CAPE TOWN MAKES MONOPOLY WORLD EDITION

And manages to nail the expensive part of the board!

25.08.2008

Earlier on in the year there was much excitement during the voting process for the new Monopoly World Edition game board. Cape Town was a contender and the likes of 2oceansvibe and other influential media outlets pushed people to vote.

Well I think everyone can give themselves a pat on the back – Cape Town is in the second highest category. Jeez, hating that!

 

English-monopoly
Gdynia – out of favour..

 

Well done everyone and well done Cape Town!

Some of you might not be aware of Gdynia, in the poo brown section of the Monopoly board. So, just to educate you a little bit – what I can tell you, from memory, is that it is located in Kashubia in Eastern Pomerania. Gdynia is part of a conurbation with the spa town of Sopot, the city of Gdan’sk and suburban communities, which together form a metropolitan area called the Tricity (Trójmiasto), with a population of over a million people.

Ja, look, that’s all I can remember.

You know, off hand..

 

Click here to read more about the Monopoly vibe.

Or click here to find out more about Gdynia.

 

[thanks philip]



  

PING PONG IS COMING HOME

As London mayor, Boris Johnson, continues to please

25.08.2008

I will remind you that Boris Johnson is the very same very new London mayor who, upon winning the London Mayoral election, declared, “Tomorrow we get cracking, but tonight we drink.”

 

boris-johnson
Boris Johnson
Pure entertainment

 

I am very pleased to announce that Boris is back with a new speech, which he delivered at the closing of the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing this weekend. It was at a “handover party” which is given so as to acknowledge London as the next hosting city, with Boris Johnson taking the lead.

This, from The Independent:

 

To cheers from the assembled British officials, Mr Johnson declared that the Chinese “have excelled magnificently at ping pong. Ping pong was invented on the dining tables of England and it was called whiff whaff”.

“There you have, I think, the essential difference between us and the rest of the world. Other nations such as the French looked at the dining table and saw the opportunity to have dinner. We looked at the dining table and saw an opportunity to play whiff whaff.

He continued: “That is why London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world – ping pong is coming home.”

[More here]

 

PING PONG IS COMING HOME! Whaaaah!!

Are you kidding me? This guy is like a gift from God. Do you realise that the above extract is real? That actually happened. At the Olympics! What more could you possibly want from a mayor? I’ll take a bumbling comedian over a corrupt hypocrite any day of the week.

Speaking of which, while he is often lauded as a “bumbling buffoon” and erratic at best, I think we should agree that he is taking a very Churchillesque tone in everything he does. Winston Churchill is famed for his quotes to do with women and drink. He was OFTEN completely pissed whilst simultaneously leading the British army as one of history’s most famous and accomplished leaders. Look, I’m pretty pleased Boris Johnson isn’t heading up a war machine, but you you got to enjoy his approach. Conservatives and posh snobbery (with humourous undertones playing an essential part) is becoming cool again, and he is at the forefront.

And with that, I give you the video of Boris declaring that “ping pong is coming home.”

 


CLICK HERE IF THAT VIDEO CLAIMS TO NOT BE AVAILABLE
(Then refresh the next page several times to get it going)

 

Have a wonderful Monday, my friends. I am currently on a plane from Durban to Cape Town, which is nothing short of a miracle, given that it was a 06h30 flight which meant 05h30 arrival at the airport, which meant 05h15 departure from the hotel, which meant waking up at 04h15 (We require one hour turnaround time).

It’s crazy out there.



  

GWEN STEFANI HAS NAMED HER BABY ZUMA

I swear to God

22.08.2008

That’s right. Zuma.

She has named her child Zuma.

Yes… ZUMA!!!!

It’s all happening here, ladies and gentlemen!

From CNN:

 

LOS ANGELES (AP) — It’s Love, Angel, Music and Baby No. 2 for Gwen Stefani, who gave birth to a boy Thursday.

Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani added to their family with the birth of baby Zuma on Thursday.

Zuma Nesta Rock weighed 8 pounds and 5 ounces when he was born Thursday afternoon, according to publicist Dave Tomberlin.

art stefani baby ap

 

“Mother, baby and family are all happy and healthy,” he said in a statement.

The pop star and fashionista has another son, 2-year-old Kingston, with her husband, rocker Gavin Rossdale. Rossdale also has a teenage daughter with fashion designer Pearl Lowe.

[More here]

 

I cannot comment. I am still digesting..

 

[thanks tara]



  

GOLDFISH ARE PLAYING IN LONDON TOMORROW

Correct. Tomorrow. Saturday.

22.08.2008

Fresh from completely dominating Ibiza and continuing to do so, Goldfish are popping in to London tomorrow for the ex-pats and others to enjoy their sexual music sensation!

Enjoy this latest pic of our boys frolicking in Ibiza, taken by 2oceansvibe Character, The Photographer (check out his website here).

 

goldfish final Lres
Baby Jesus and Dom, literally swimming in holy water

 

Don’t miss their London gig tomorrow.

Pacha London Terminus Place Victoria, SW1

20.00 in advance and on the door 8880 7548 (I have no idea what that means)

Advance tickets available from www.ticketweb.co.uk or by calling 08700 600 100

For table bookings please call Dana on 0845 371 4489 or email dana@pachalondon.com

1ST 5 REPLIES TO COMPS@GOLDFISHLIVE.COM GET DOUBLE COMPS!

SICK!