I was a little peckish the other morning so I popped into the Vida e on Kloof Road. I felt like something different and asked Msizi if the Prego Roll was any good. He said I would enjoy it. So off I went.

The Prego Roll – by Vida e
Insane

As worldly and sophisticated as I am, I was apparently oblivious to the fact that prego rolls have garlic in them. OH MY GOD! It was 10 in the morning and I was KLANKING! But you know what? I didn’t care, because it was SO awesome!I hope they’ve got their recipe under lock and key. I can’t describe it – you just need to get one.

You know when you just don’t care that you smell of garlic, because it feels like heaven? That’s what I’m talking about.

People walk into my office and they’re like, “whoooah, it stinks in here!” but they don’t leave. They’re quite happy to stick around for a while. Jason had one yesterday. He loved it. He stank, but he was still the winner.

Get one.

Trust me.

Be sure to check out the new Vida that has just opened at Constantia Village. They’ll have Prego’s there..

We’re at the end of October and, before the boys start growing their moustaches for the month of Movember (NOTE: WE ARE ALL GROWING OUR MOUSTACHES FOR THE MONTH OF NOVEMBER – FACT), I thought we should play something upbeat.

Well, as usual, the real reason why we’re playing this tune is it gave me a surprise attack the other day when my iPod was on random. I don’t know all the songs on my iPod, as one often rips compilation CD’s onto the device, without being aware of the full track listing, and this little nonsense popped up. I tell you, I was hopping and bopping!

Now, The Chief and I OFTEN lose our minds to Jump (For My Love), by The Pointer Sisters and one should always be expected to drop everything when it plays, and dance like a gaydar. I certainly did not expect the same result from a modern day cover of the song, until I heard the version by plastic girl group Girls Aloud, as heard in the film Love Actually.

Oh my God you simply HAVE TO play this right now, girlfriend! Think of me when it picks up at the 1:34 mark and explodes at the 2:00 mark.

Why is it so CRAZY!!?!?

WHOOOOOO!!!!!

OH MY GOD!!! TURN IT UP!!!!!!

CLICK HERE if that doesn’t play
(Please note Youtube is struggling on the Firefox “platform”.
If you have no sound, then try it through Internet Explorer)

For the guys out there, I suggest you watch that video, there are some SMOKERS jumping around in little vests, literally JUMPING AROUND!

It’s so awesome. And sexual. But in a legal way.

This is, like, the best Friday ever!

* Don’t forget Lewis Pugh, as well as The Sharks champs, The Parkour boys and Hip hop outfit ETC Crew on Luv Sport tonight at 21h10. SICK!

Capetonians’ favourite pastime of driving absolutely motherless will come under strain this weekend as word is getting out about this weekend’s road block “blits” that will be hitting a blurry road near you. Apparently this season’s road block activity will be the most hard-core ever performed.

Ever.

In the Milky Way.

This is not real.
It is, what we call, “staged”

Now, although the local plod won’t be using Lamborghini’s, like the Italian Police, I can happily tell you that you would be an absolute fucking idiot if you drove pissed this weekend.

Be smart, sign up with Good Fellas (I did) or use Rikki Taxi’s (they’re cheap and clean).

You DO know about Good Fellas, don’t you?

Oh for God’s sake, WAKE UP!

[thanks pete]

ps. did you see the Ferrari that split itself in two? That’s not what you’re looking for.

The Volvo Ocean Race is an around the World sailing challenge that happens every three years. It is a MASSIVE undertaking with nine or 10 legs in total and takes over nine months to complete. And they’re in Cape Town in a couple days time! They will undergo repairs and the sailors get rest until the 15th of November when the yachts will leave Cape Town for the second leg of the race to Kochi in India. The race ends next year on the 27th of June in St. Petersberg.

Pay attention, because this is a BIG deal!

The best of the best.
Top Gun on water..

The current race started in Alicante, Spain, on October 11, 2008 and includes, for the first time, stopovers in the Middle East and Asia. This latest route covers nearly 39,000 nautical miles and is expected to reach a cumulative TV audience of 2 billion worldwide.

And let me tell you a couple more things. These guys suffer drastic sleep deprivation and, with a main meal of freeze dried, they loose between eight and 12 kg’s per leg of the race! They suffer radical extremes in temperatures from -20 degrees to 45 degrees. They brave ridiculous seas (waves up to 100 feet and 110 km/h winds) and sometimes sit for days twiddling their thumbs. They don’t shower, shave, brush their teeth and only change their base layer about every 5 days. The race has seen the death of 3 sailors so far.. This is the Everest of sailing, my friends.

But enjoy this – there are eight South Africans sailing in the Volvo Ocean Race and on Kosatka (Team Russia) there are two; Cape Town’s very own Mikey Joubert and Camron Wills! It must be pretty awesome rolling into your home town on one of these puppies!

Kosatka, with two Cape Town boys on board!

The V&A Waterfront (where everyone except Partners accept American Express cards) is almost ready for them and it looks like all the bases have been spread out of the waterfront. Opposite Quay Four is “The Volvo Dome”, where you can watch footage from the boats….and next to Ferrymans is the Volvo Marquee…which will be open to the public soon. There is the Red Puma Container where you can buy awesome Puma Racing Clothing/Watches/Shoes…etc…

The sailors have been at sea now for 18 days……They are expected to arrive between the 2nd and the 4th of November and the last boats should be in late Sunday or even Monday…

Welcome home!
Thanks! Great to be back! What’s been happening?
Well, the Springbok emblem was vomitted on.
What?
Nothing, Howz the race been?

Now I’ve done my research and those in the know tell me that the best place to see them arrive will be the Clock Tower side and Quay Four side. The finish line for the first leg will be marked outside the harbour by committee boats.

The boats will undergo repairs and the sailors get rest while they are here and the fleet is off again on the 15th of November to there next destination Kochi in India.

Ericsson4 is leading the fleet ahead of Puma at the moment and if you go to www.volvooceanrace.org you can find out LOADS more.

The racing village is open from the 3 until the 15 th of November.

Get involved, this only happens every three years. At the rate you’re going, you won’t be around for the next one.

Fatty.

To buy your own yacht, without sails, don’t be shy of popping your nose into Boating World… mm mm they have some beauties!

Oh, and be sure to check out the Puma boat at www.pumaoceanracing.com which was built by Sean Carkeek from Cape Town. Hmm… Carkeek… I know that surname…

[thanks jules]

Con-Man’s best friend, Anne Hathaway, can be found in the latest Vogue spread. I thought I’d show you some of the pics.

I don’t know why I feature Anne Hathaway on these pages. There’s just something about her. Her face bone structure, perhaps. Something like that. Or her full lips. I’m not too sure. It’s probably just because of her role in The Devil Wears Prada which allowed me to fantasize about being a woman involved in fashion.

Either way, I don’t think it’s necessary for her to smoke in the one pic.

Tsk tsk! Not nice to see a pretty young lady smoking.

Silly girl.

Poefies.

Poeffie Poef.

Poeffin.

Piffin.

Piffin Piff Piff.

[spell-check wasn't quite sure about those last few lines]

I’ve wanted to mention this for quite some time and finally got it done this morning. It is well documented that I use Redken Maneuver as my hair product of choice. It comes in at a reassuringly expensive price and is only available in actual salons. Like the Partners “Hair Design” (hilarious) chain of salons. I usually go to the one at the Waterfront.

Let’s have a look at that.

“Partners” at the V&A Waterfront

It took about five times of total and utter bleeding pain, before it finally sank into my brain that Partners at the V&A Waterfront in Cape Town DO NOT ACCEPT AMERICAN EXPRESS CARDS! It does happen from time to time in little shops or stores (generally rural villages) and one shouldn’t scold these shop owners – after all, AMEX merchant facilities do charge around 1% more than VISA and MASTERCARD, which could hurt the little guy.

BUT, to position your shop inside South Africa’s number 1 tourist hotspot, the V&A Waterfront, next door to Lillywhites, and downstairs from the likes of Gucci, Louis Vuitton and Jimmy Choo (Death Row), WITHOUT accepting American Express…. Well, it can only be described as a Mind Fuck.

It’s ridiculous. I simply CANNOT get my head around it. Partners, you are totally and utterly RIDICULOUS!

I must say, I’m gobsmacked that V&A Waterfront’s management even allow it.

Christ, my grandmother accepts American Express.

It’s extreme from the North Pole to the fields and streets of South Africa this week on Luv Sport, SA’s number 1 multi-sport magazine show, Friday night, 21h10 on Supersport 1 (channel 201).

Ok to put it into perspective, you should be aware that Lewis Pugh has been on Jay Leno. Can you grasp that? Lewis Pugh has had the likes of Al Gore and Tony Blair ASK to meet him. Lewis Pugh is the only person to have completed a long distance swim in every ocean of the world and the first person to do so at the North Pole. He is a lawyer and studied at UCT and Cambridge. A mountain of a man, Lewis Pugh is our very own and he is live in the Luv Sport studio on Friday night. Click here to check out his website.

Lewis Gordon Pugh
A serious individual

Currie Cup winners and Sharks jocks, Keegan Daniels and Rory Kockott will also be in the studio to share their new champion status and potentially some inside information on how many blow jobs Francois Steyn has received since the victory.

Keegs

Kockers

But it doesn’t end there, because the heat is gonna hit the street as the SA Parkour team show us their mettle.

Can you believe that last sentence? “the heat is gonna hit the street” – whaah! I slipped into “make-pretend-journalist” mode.

And what about that line “show us their mettle?” – it’s too funny! Who throws around the word “mettle” with a straight face these days? Reminds me of The Surfer the other day when he informed me that he was “loath” to do something. EXCUSE ME? You’re LOATH to do it?

Insanity!

Back to the show – check out these hard core Parkour guys. They’re the ones that do all of that urban street freestyling, jumping from building to building like a fucking grass-hoppers!

Parkour - mellow!

Parkour’s Emile Sievers will be joining the Luv Sport team and I ASSUME will be entering the studio from the ceiling.

Now, you’ll think I’m telling a fib when I tell you that the show will have even MORE mayhem, in the form of Cape Town based Hip Hop outfit, The ETC Crew ! Get a load of these guys.

The ETC Crew
Black and white, rapping together.
Ice and Hammer.
Snow and Tupac.

No, I am not shitting you. That photo is real. And let me tell you something else – I’ve seen these guys performing with The Dirty Skirts and it took me straight back to when Run DMC hooked up with Aerosmith. They’ve been called “SA hip hop’s answer to Freshly Ground.” I like the sound of that and can’t wait to watch these boys “break it down” (as it were). Check out one of their videos here. They crack me up! But they’re good, I’ll tell you that much.

Takes me back to 2006’s summer rap hit, No Matter, by Will & G . That was SICK!

Luv Sport, Friday night, 21h10, Supersport 1 (channel 201).

God I love this place! And it was just yesterday that we were showcasing the front-end loader pulling the skateboarder along Sea Point’s Beach Road! And now we have another mechanical device causing mayhem – in the form of a heavy duty digger, which was digging up the road and nailed a water main. Beautiful!

The hilarious thing is I was in it! I was THEEERE, DUUUUDE! But I didn’t have my camera with me. So I turn on KFM to listen to 2oceansvibe Character, Harders’s (Richard Hardiman) drive time show (every afternoon from 3 to 6 on KFM 94.5fm (I think you’ve grown out of DJ Fresh by now?)) and they switch to the traffic report and they begin reporting on this fucking burst water main! It was, like, SO weird! I felt like Truman! I sms’d Harders to let him know I was in it and asked him to play “Guilty” by Barbara Streisand and Barry Gibb .

Which he duly did.

It reminds me of Sox, The Personal Jukebox, who let’s me sms songs to be play at Caprice. It’s like everything is radio controlled!

So anyways, I go back to The Safe House to whip Mavis into shape, and what happens? I’ll tell you what happens – I get a MMS from ANOTHER 2oceansvibe Character, The Interior Decorator! With photo’s of the same flood! How MENTAL is that?

It’s SO crazy around here!

Check it out.

Awesome!

Crazy!

Mental!

The beautiful thing about the whole thing is that the road is called Marine Drive. Yes, of course it is.

So nice to see the various characters understanding their roles and further contributing to the magnificence of 2oceansvibe.

This is YOUR website and I want to hold you close my body.

Then I want to dance with you.

Tango.

Yes, I can..

Hey, did you hear Goldfish are working on a summer hit with some SA rock legend? I don’t have any details other than the name of the song – “The Weekend.” Sounds spot on for summer! If you know any other info, let us know!

A couple of weeks back I told you about Newbie Bowls, the lawn bowling phenomenan engulfing Cape Town. In particular, I mentioned the tournaments they put together at The Glen Country Club above La Med in Clifton.

Well… I couldn’t resist and ended up going to see for myself.

Wow! I can get VERY used to this sport. To begin with, the fact that it is a genuine “sport” really tickles me. That means that I can go around saying that I still “play a bit of sport.” But then, what I’m really doing is chilling in my shorts and a T-shirt, with a drink in my hand, listening to music and mucking about with my mates in the sun! On actual LAWN!

Surely that’s a good day to spend the day on the Atlantic Seaboard?

Check out this 2oceansvibe TV report:

CLICK HERE if that doesn’t play
(Please note Youtube is struggling on the Firefox “platform”.
If you have no sound, then try it through Internet Explorer)

Pretty sick! I must say I was blown away and will definitely be putting a crew together.

But that’s not the only vibe they go for, apparently Newbie Bowls is an ABSOLUTE HIT when it comes to private parties, teambuilding, birthday parties, bachelor parties etc. Hmm, I’m visualising some pretty crazy stuff… Enough!

CLICK HERE to check out their website and be sure to keep an eye out on Luv Sport which could be featuring them soon!

While our local flying squad rate themselves in their GTi’s and Beemers, and our police chief, Jackie Selebi, cruises around in a Hummer , I think the Italian Police have taken the cake.

They have just taken delivery of a brand new Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4.

No Spice!

Imagine this puppy in your rearview mirror

Autoblog.com reports:

“Somehow the Lamborghini techs have managed to integrate all the gear that modern police officers regularly use into their diminutive supercar. The car is equipped with a video recording system so officers can record evidence and provide entertainment for the boys in blue back at the station by transmitting it wirelessly in real time. The usual array of gun racks and radio equipment is also supplemented by a cooler in the front compartment that can be used to transport separated body parts to the local emergency room.”

Pull over!

That is so sick!

CAN YOU IMAGINE IF OUR LOCAL COPS GOT THEIR HANDS ON THIS THING? IT WOULD BE FUCKED BY THE END OF THE FIRST DAY. FUCKED I TELL YOU!

Read Lamborghini’s full press release about this very spicy donation here .

And then, CHECK OUT THE VIDEO of the car in action HERE.

Ok, let me break it down for you. Andrew Sachs (aged 78) is the actor who played Manuel in the British comedy classic, Fawlty Towers (also starring John Cleese as Basil Fawlty).

Andrew Sachs as Manuel in Fawlty Towers

Now this fellow, Andrew Sachs, received a number of obscene phone calls on his voice mail during a live BBC radio show, courtesy of British entertainers and hosts of the show, Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross.

Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross

The messages (played live on radio) were pretty lewd and refer to Russell Brand having penetrative sex with Andrew Sachs’s grand-daughter, Georgina Baillie. The pair are now in a massive amount of shit (over 10,000 complaints to the BBC), with the drama going as far as British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, getting involved. I swear.

Let’s check out the grand-daughter, Georgina Baillie, who happens to be a goth-style burlesque dancer. No spice.

Georgina Baillie

Nice vibe. She is now calling for rude duo to be sacked.

I had a listen to the messages and they’re pretty excessive, if I say so myself. Mark my words, this Russell Brand fellow is nothing but a twat. This has also been confirmed by our UK entertainment industry connections who are part of the 2oceansvibe. This obviously means that all statements we have just made are FACTUAL.

Check it out.

CLICK HERE if that doesn’t play

If you would like to read the transcript of the series of voice mails, CLICK HERE.

I’m sure the Poms and the ex-pats will be enjoying these headlines. A nice break from doom, gloom and government/NHS woes and moans.

[thanks dave]

As I often say, these things look pretty normal around here, until you take a picture of them and realise, Christ, this is NOT normal.

Ilan W sent this in of a skateboarder catching a ride on the side of a front-end loader on Sea Point’s Beach Road. Here we see our boy waiting at a set of traffic lights, pulling an island style vibe for the camera.

Hey brah, like, whatever..

Standard stuff on the Atlantic Seaboard, I guess.

Oh and, by the way, you rock, dude.

That’s what she is known as – Eve, or Eva. But apparently her real name is Iga Wyrwal. I’ll begin by saying that she is 19. Which, granted, is a little bit naughty, but not as naughty as Mohammed Al Fayed, that’s for sure. Other than that, I can tell you that she is Polish, has done some shoots for Playboy (UK May 2007 edition) and currently lives in…wait for it, Rugby! I know, how awesome is that?

OK, so let’s take a little squizz.

Click image for NSFW version.

Eve Wyrwal

Fine. Nothing wrong with that. Unless, of course, that is just NOT your look. Then you’ll just have to wait until next week’s Tuesday Tabs.

Apologies if that is the case.

This vibe is not going to stop, and is another example of why Senator Barack Obama was assigned the earliest Secret Service “detail” ever for a presidential candidate.

Two white supremacists were arrested in Tennessee (the home of Jack Daniel’s Whiskey) yesterday for threatening to “kill Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama during a “killing spree” of African-Americans.”

Charming.

Check this out, from iol:

Washington – US authorities have arrested two white supremacists for threatening to kill Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama during a “killing spree” of African-Americans, court records released on Monday showed.

The two men planned to kill about 88 people and decapitate 14 African-Americans, before in a final act assassinating Obama, attempting to be the country’s first black president, the documents revealed.

Daniel Cowart and Paul Schlesselman were arrested Wednesday in Tennessee for possession of firearms and threats against a candidate running for president, the documents from the Memphis court showed.

The men discussed a “killing spree to include targeting a predominantly African-American school…they further stated that their final act of violence would be to attempt to kill/assassinate presidential candidate Barack Obama,” Brian Weaks, an agent with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives told the court.

Cowart, from Bells, Tennessee, and Schlesselman, from Arkansas, met via the Internet a month ago and have “very strong beliefs and views regarding ‘White Power’ and ‘Skinhead’ views,” Weaks said in his statement to the court.

Cowart had bought one rifle and stockpiled two handguns, both stolen from his grandfather. They planned to steal another high-powered rifle from a gun store in Jackson, Tennessee, as well as a series of robberies to finance their bloody actions.

“Schlesselman stated that they planned to drive their vehicles as fast as they could toward Obama shooting at him from the windows,” Weaks said.

“Both individuals stated they would dress in all white tuxedos and wear top hats during the assassination attempt. Both individuals further stated they knew they would and were willing to die during this attempt.”

[read more here]

It’s stories like this that should be remembered when people insist on how “awful” things are here in South Africa. Open your eyes.

I received a wonderful email from Malcolm T, who witnessed the same thing I did on Sunday night.

Hi Seth

I popped home to Cape Town from Mud Island this weekend for my 30th and no trip back would be the same without a few hundred Jack Black beers at Caprice on a Sunday night.

She was drawn to it, magically

My weekend was made even more fantastic by a sighting of The Spicy One who managed to pull this lovely lady (can’t remember her name - all I know is that she is from the States, but not the one in SA) away from my conversation, which was obviously no match for his charm and pelvic dance moves that he had performed earlier

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=OTCY_VW9J0U

Cheers
Malcs

Pretty awesome stuff. The Spiciest Guy in Cape Town remains incredibly spicy. And what’s even better about this whole vibe, is that someone else, Ian N, to be precise, spotted him that very same night on the Caprice bar counter!

This, is what he saw..

Caprice bouncers maintain their
zero spicy-guy-on-the-bar tolerance

Hah! It’s too beautiful! I’m pleased to announce that the song playing was AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long, spun by none other than Caprice’s number 1, DJ Sox!

I can also confirm that, contrary to earlier reports, our boy only dances on command in exchange for a shot of Frangelico. Double. On the rocks. He does not drink tequila. I repeat, The Spiciest Guy in Cape Town does NOT drink tequila.

FACT.

Enjoy the TBG lookalike in the background of that pic – mesmerised..

I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I pressed play on this clip. I noticed Paul Snodgrass and the Golf Punk crew on a mountain top, taking numerous swings at a ball. There seemed to be a helicopter of sorts in the background. I wasn’t quite sure where it was all going.

Neither did they, I believe.

But then it all came together.

CLICK HERE if that doesn’t play

It was nice of them to give that slow-mo replay at the end, just to confirm the direct hit.

Pleasant? No.

Entertaining? Always.

Snodders, 2oceansvibe’s thoughts are with you and your balls during this time.

[thanks dan]

With his 69th birthday next month, we take a moment out to celebrate the life of one of the great fashion icons, Roberto Cavalli.

These, taken in the last week.

Roberto, just chilling..

“This lifestyle comes with certain expectations, my angel”

“And you can start with with an all over creaming, please”

“There’s a good girl”

Roberto, 2oceansvibe salutes you!