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  • NIC MARAIS ON THE UPCOMING ELECTION

    I’ve just received a superb open letter by 2oceansvibe character (“The DJ”) and former KFM morning show DJ, Nic Marais.

    Nic Marais nuus wk--297x250
    Nic in his old position as
    KFM morning show DJ

    Nic is currently studying law at Yale after flipping a coin, having been accepted at both Yale and Harvard.

    Shame, he’s quite dof.

    So anyway, Nice just sent me this little piece regarding our upcoming elections.

    Check it out:

    The right to vote—even when inconvenient.

    When I was thirteen—stereotypically worried about school, girls, and my own coming of-age—something very profound happened. I watched the birth of my nation.

    I watched history happen. I watched true leadership emerge to steer a relatively peaceful transition. I watched the death of decades of tyrannical, unspeakable minority rule, and the birth of an exemplary constitution and a democracy I could call my own. And I watched as my compatriots voted—almost 16 million of them, in lines that stretched for miles, staunch NP supporters alongside African grandmothers who had
    never voted before. My understanding of democracy was born in April 1994: each South African would get one vote, one equal voice, and we would all participate.

    Today, two months before our fourth national election, I find myself in America—staring in from the outside, a spectator to the process, effectively disenfranchised.

    Make no mistake, the situation is better than it was a week ago. On Monday, the High Court ruled that citizens living abroad are entitled to vote—five years after an amendment restricted overseas voting privileges to those beyond the Republic’s borders for government duty, holiday, business trips, studies, or international sporting events. The case was a slam-dunk affair—our Bill of Rights guarantees every adult citizen the
    right to vote in any election—and the previous disenfranchisement of South African ex pats was clearly, flagrantly, embarrassingly unconstitutional.

    While the ruling is as significant as it was obvious, it doesn’t really solve the problem. Instead of giving the Constitutional Court and the IEC time to work things out, President Kgalema Motlanthe proclaimed the election date within three days of the High Court’s ruling. That proclamation activates a frustratingly brief window period: we have just 15 days to apply for a special vote. That time is now ticking by, and the IEC hasn’t even updated its website. Newly-eligible voters can only download old forms, and the
    VEC-1 application still has no category for those living and working beyond our borders.

    There are other problems, too. I’ve never traveled with my green ID book, and I won’t have it come April 22. I have a dozen other forms of identification—including my passport and my fingerprints—but I won’t be able to vote. Many South Africans will have to travel thousands of miles to find a polling station. And those without access to the IEC’s website, or those who haven’t heard of this week’s ruling?

    These problems won’t be solved by April—and South Africans living abroad are at fault for taking so long to file suit. But they must be solved, as quickly and as simply as possible. Americans living abroad log on, submit their details and have an absentee ballot mailed to them, anywhere in the world; they fill it in, mail it back, and the deal’s sealed. We could do the same, or have our ballots certified at police stations, or sign them with our fingerprints. There must be solutions, and we must find them.

    We’ve already won half the battle: a constitutionally-guaranteed right, perhaps the most important of them all, has been restored. Now we need to make it work.

    Nic Marais

    Keep abreast of Nic’s thoughts and new adventures in The States. Check out his blog at www.nicmarais.co.za which is clearly undergoing some weird vibe as it currently just shows the letters “NM” on the screen.

    Nic, are you ok, buddy?

  • WOOLWORTHS THAI GREEN CURRY IN A CAN

    I bought a couple of these puppies at Woolworths earlier this week and haven’t had a chance to try them yet. It’s a can of Thai Green Curry from Woolworths and comes with bamboo shoots and baby corn! On the label it says : “just add chicken, fish or prawns.”

    I also bought 4 portions of free range skinless chicken breasts, using 2 pieces (which I cut into strips) for this, my first curry.

    I chose the conventional instructions, rather than the microwave and popped the contents of the can into a pan. I brought it to boil and then let it simmer, adding the chicken pieces. No CRAZY cooking, just a light simmer. 3 on the stove setting (out of a possible 8).

     

    cuzza
    What can I say – I’m a pro!

     

    Not much stress so far and, with the chicken costing an effective R16 (half the four-pack I bought for R32), and the can of Woolworths thai green curry costing next-to-nothing (I forgot and the slip is thrown away – whoops!) – it’s pretty reasonable! Obviously this doesn’t matter when you have fabulous wealth, but it certainly is nice to know!

    I went back to the living room and allowed the 18 year old Brazilian farm girl to continue my neck massage, which is often the case whilst writing this column for YOU.

    Not ten minutes later the chicken was cooked and I was finally able to dish myself my very first curry.

     

    cuzza2
    GIVE ME A BREAK!
    Curries are too easy!

     

    I took a few mouthfuls and had to go to the bathroom to find a tissue. It was so damn good, I was moved to tears.

    No, my friends….you have never..

    Just…

    Just get it.

    Thank me later.

    But I’d move if I were you. They’ll move pretty fast after this.

     

     

    * Oh I forgot to mention the fact that it only has 4.7 grams carbohydrates, 14.2g total fat and 0g cholesterol. Perfect for fatty boom booms.

  • BMX FOR SALE

    It’s important that you see this ad for a BMX spotted on an Australian ebay-type website.

     

    bmx-small

     

    Seems pretty normal, right?

    Wrong.

     

    CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THE DESCRIPTION
    GIVEN BELOW THE PHOTO OF THE BMX..

     

     

     

    That’s all we ask for..

     

    [thanks lauren]

  • JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE CONTINUES TO PLEASE

    JT hasn’t dropped much from the dizzy heights he achieved in our ratings, following his GENIUS Dick in a Boxvideo.

    And now he goes and nails it again – this time with Beyonce and the song Single Ladies.

    Pushing it..

     

     

    [thanks jacki]

  • MEGAN FOX IS BACK ON THE MARKET!

    Welcome home, Megs. We missed you, my babes.

    Put your bag down.

    Take of your kit.

    ‘atta girl!

    megan-fox-7
    Megan Fox
    Comes home

    That’s right, team, Megs is back

    Check, check, check it out:

     

    Megan Fox has split from her fiancé.

    The ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’ star and Brian Austin Green (see you around, Brian) are said to have made a mutual decision to separate after three years together.

    A source said: “The relationship had run its course. It’s completely amicable, and they are remaining friends. They are both focusing on their careers.”

    Green (35) is also an actor and has regularly appeared on TV show ‘Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles’.

    The couple — who showed their love for each other by getting tattoos — met in 2004 before getting engaged in 2006

    Only a few months ago, Fox was still talking about marriage.

    She said: “It’s not going to be a big wedding. I’m not one of those girls — if it happens, it will be very low-key and quick and unplanned.”

    Rumours their romance was on the rocks were sparked in January, when Fox attended the Golden Globes alone.

    The 22-year-old beauty said: “Brian doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to be my date. He’s a man. He has an ego. I think he’s probably working on music. I don’t think he cares.”

    Jesus, sorry about that Brian… [hand over mouth - muffled laughter] Why did she have to PUNISH him like that?

    Let’s go through that one more time:

    The 22-year-old beauty said: “Brian doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to be my date. He’s a man. He has an ego. I think he’s probably working on music. I don’t think he cares.”

    Whaaah!

     

     

    Good times. Good times. [head tilted down, shaking head slowly, smiling]

     

    Stoned.

    [thanks andrew]

  • ANGELS, HARLEY DAVIDSONS, ROCK STARS

    I received an invite from Marina at The Little Black Blook to the launch of the new uber-cool Harley-Davidson “Dark Custom” range of motorcycles last Thursday at The Winery, Mandela Rhodes Place.

    Wow! The night really was fabulous, with beautiful naughty little angels everywhere, fully stocked bar and a live session with Prime Circle, no less! Celebs abound, I noticed the Idols Hostess, Liezel van der Westhuizen (no relation) was relishing her time away from the Idols judges..

    I got hold of some pics for you.

    If I may..

    Che Crevald and Tessa Barnes
    Che Crevald and Tessa Barnes
    A very appealing pair

    Anneline Schweirtzer and Cokey Falkow 4
    Anneline Schweirtzer and a very determined Cokey Falkow

    Brodie Thompsett and Marina Nestel
    Brodie Thompsett and Marina Nestel
    The Little Black Book strikes again!

    Amber Tracke and Dan Nicholl
    Amber Drake and Dan Nicholl
    May or may not be boning each other

    Billy Zane, Colin Moss, Franki Holton and Hakeem Kae-Kazim
    Billy Zane, Colin Moss, Franki Holton and Hakeem Kae-Kazim
    That’s cokey Falkow’s bird in the middle

    Borris Kozhanon
    Borris Kozhanon
    Do not fuck with this man

    Liezel van der Westhuizen, Roxy Louw, Amanda Dilima, Veronica and Lyndall Jarvis
    Liezel van der Westhuizen, Roxy Louw,
    Amanda Dilima, Veronica and Lyndall Jarvis
    Yes, I believe the one on the left IS the Idols hostess

    Galia Kerbel, Samantha Guinness, Maris Logan and Julie Illing
    Galia Kerbel, Samantha Guinness, Maris Logan and Julie Illing

    Lisa Cowley
    Lisa Cowley
    Very naughty. Also great in a pony at the gym

    Lyle Wilkens, Shannon McDonagh
    Lyle Wilkens, Shannon McDonagh
    Coming along nicely

    Mike Mantwill and Melissa Burke 6
    Mike Mantwill and Melissa Burke
    Aaah, that’s just awesome

    Nadine Barkai, James and Carol Penny
    Nadine Barkai, James and Carol Penny
    Good times. Good times..

    Seth 1
    Billy Zane enjoys my incredibly hilarious Michael Flatley joke

    Prime Circle, Melissa Burke and Tracy Gibb
    Prime Circle, Melissa Burke and Tracy Gibb

    Alexa Cunningham and Clarise Le Grange
    Alexa Cunningham and Clarise Le Grange
    Well HELLOOOO little laydezzz!

    Sally and Tammy Berold
    Sally and Tammy Berold
    Sorry, did you say you were sisters??
    Nice..

    Roxy Louw
    The EVER adorable Roxy Louw
    Still single, I believe..
    (PLUS you get Rob Louw / Christopher Walken as a father-in-law!)

    Dan Skinstad, Seth Rotherham, Richard Hardiman and Sam Walker
    Dan Skinstad, Chazz Michael-Michaels,
    Richard Hardiman and Sam Walker

    Stuart Farell, Dave Fall, Bob Windfield
    Stuart Farell, Dave Fall, Bob Windfield
    The smoothest guys in the room

    Shanna Lindinger and Ernie van Wyk
    Ernie van Wyk and Shanna Lindinger
    Killing it, as usual

    Tammy Berold, Ryan McFarlane, Sally Berold and Megan Smith
    Tammy Berold, Ryan McFarlane, Sally Berold and Megan Smith

    Sybil Doms and Henk Badenhorst
    Sybil Doms and Henk Badenhorst
    Robertson are producing some beauties this season

    Victoria, Amanda Dilima and Lisa Cowley
    Victoria, Amanda Dilima and Lisa Cowley
    Are you alright, my love?

    Seth 2
    Billy remained focussed as your hero addressed the cameras
    A fight broke out shortly after as Moss used the bottle as a weapon

    Cokey Falkow and Gayathrie Schatz
    Cokey Falkow and Gayathrie Schatz
    She came first

    Rouxmia Bougus, Lyndall Jarvis and Roxy Louw
    And then I saw this little thing.
    Its name is Rouxmia Bougas
    What does it do?
    I thought to myself.
    I did a little Google and it seems we are a model.
    I went in a little deeper and got hold of this..

    Rouxmia Bougas
    BANG!
    Are you ok with that?
    Welcome to the vibe, Rouxmia Bougas.
    Check out Rouxmia’s FHM page HERE and model page HERE

     

    By the way, did you hear that they were trying to put on a production of River Dance in Soweto?

    Ja. It didn’t get very far. Michael flatley refused!

    Whahahaha!!

    Another hilarious moment captured that night, as told on Dan Nicholl’s column:

    Billy Zane asks the waiter, “Are those sweet or savoury?” – pointing at the meat balls on the tray.

    “Savoury, Sir” replied the waiter.

    Zane, pleased with the result, replied “Sweet…”

    Lag!

    A big thanks also goes out to Greater Than PR for their involvement, as well as Clarence Muller for the hilarious Seth/Zane shots.

    Catch you all a little later.

    IT’S FRIDAY BABY!!!!

  • SWEDEN’S PRINCESS VICTORIA TO MARRY FITNESS TRAINER

    Now here’s a story of a boy done good.

     

    Victoria, Crown Princess of Sweden
    Princess Victoria of Sweden
    Not bad at all..

    From Timesonline:

    There was nothing but bleak news on the schedule in Sweden yesterday morning — the carmaker Saab flailing for life, a financial meltdown in nearby Baltic states — and most Stockholm journalists were glumly turning on their desktop anti-depression lamps for another day at the coalface.

    Then came the flash from the Palace: Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden is to marry her fitness trainer.

    And all was right with the world.

     

    Princess-Victoria 1 492887a
    Daniel and Victoria
    Doing what they do best

     

    A Royal wedding, it turns out, is the perfect antidote for recession blues. Outside the palace a crowd gathered and started to sing the national anthem. The Royal Court website crashed as Swedes tried to view the videoclip of King Carl Gustav XVI announcing the engagement. The tabloids set up online chat sites to allow Swedes to congratulate the couple.

    “There is excitement on the streets,” said Pamela Andersson, the editor of Queen magazine, “this is going to be wonderful for Sweden.”

    The wedding is set for the summer of 2010, and simply gives Sweden 18 months to contemplate the wedding dress of Victoria — the designer Anna Holtblad is already in pole position — the guest list (more than a thousand, including most of the crowned heads of Europe) and the general suitability of her consort, Daniel Westling, whom she met at a gym workout in 2002.

    For the past year the court has been grooming Mr Westling, 35, who comes from a village; the hair has been cut short; he has been given designer spectacles and his baseball cap has disappeared. He now owns three gyms, which allows the press to refer to him in a slightly more dignified way as a businessman.

    The makeover of Mr Westling, who can soon style himself Prince Daniel, Duke of Västergötland, and move out of the servants’ quarters, was ordered by the King, who reportedly had doubts about his suitability. The reservations were not about Mr Westling being a commoner. The King married a commoner, the German Silvia Sommerlath, and the Scandivian countries have long since accepted that Royals should marry for love.

    [read more here - it's a great story]

     

    It reminds me of the Seth Rotherham Upliftment Programme I run from time to time, where I take smoking-hot white trash chicks and teach them table manners and how to stand up properly. Some of them still walk amongst us; and I tell you, you wouldn’t be any the wiser.

    Princess Victoria seems to have a similar programme that she runs. And she’s done well.

    I mean, kyk hoe lyk hy nou!

    daniel westling reference
    Mmm mm – you clean up GOOD, boy!

    Very smooth. Almost like Clark Kent.

     

    [thanks ryan]

  • THE PERANA Z-ONE – SOUTH AFRICAN BUILT SUPERCAR

    Spotted this incredible vibe on Blacknote’s website.

     

    Perana-Z-One TEASE
    The Perana Z-One
    South African Built, Zagato Bodied and Corvette Powered

     

    This, originally from Jalopnik:

     

    We’re still waiting for the full press release, but here’s what we know — the Perana Z-one is the first fruits of a collaboration between Milanese coachbuilders Zagato and a newly formed South African Vehicle Manufacturer called Perana Performance Group. It’ll be built in South Africa as a 999-unit limited-run (as opposed to Zagato’s normal 99-unit run) 2-seater coupe. Thanks to a Corvette LS3 under the hood, it’ll also be fast — with a 0-to-62 time of under four seconds. The price? Around R750 000 (or around $115,400 $75,000 for those of us who barter in greenbacks).

    The Perana Z-One will be revealed officially at the Geneva Motor Show next month, so for the moment, we’ll have to make due with the renderings and sketches above. Frankly, if it’s this sexy rendered, we can’t wait to see what it’ll look like in the real-life sheet metal.

    [more here]

     

    My God! That is QUITE something! I think I might have to put my name down for one of those puppies! It’s very sexy. Check out the backside..

     

    15513li
    Yu!
    That’s a tidy shitter!

     

    Quite mean.

    A possibility, Stanford?

     

    [thanks wes]

  • EVERYTHING IS AMAZING – NOBODY IS HAPPY

    Got this little beaut off Matthew Buckland‘s site.

    Pure quality and so true…

    [Nodding. Brow creased upwards. Pursed lips]

    True.

  • I’M GETTING INTO SPORTS BETTING

    Hello team!

    I need your help.

    Finally local sports betting has come online, properly! I’m trying out this new site called greatodds.com and want to test it a bit this weekend, just to get my head around it.

     

    greatodds
    www.greatodds.com
    This is gonna be fun!

    So for now I’m just going to put down some R200 – R500 bets on some upcoming weekend rugby matches. Then, once we’ve get the hang of it, I want to do some bigger bets next week, for a grand or so each.

    I need YOU to advise me and, using the comments section under this article, tell me HONESTLY which way I should bet on the following games this weekend. Remember not to let your heart do the gambling. Be SENSIBLE!

     

    SUPER 14

     

    Chiefs vs Sharks

    2.00 for a Chiefs win, 1.833 for a Sharks win and 15 for a draw.

    ie. if you put down R500, you’ll get back R1,000 if you correctly choose a Chiefs win, R916.50 for a Sharks win and R7,500 for a draw.

     

    Stormers vs Blues

    1.909 for a Stormers win (-7 handicap), 1.909 for a Blues win (+7 handicap) and 15 for a draw (-7 handicap on Stormers score)

    These handicap things are quite fun. What that means is you reckon Stormers will win, even if you take 7 off the final score. Or, if you bet for Blues, you reckon they will win, if you ADD 7 onto their final score. So if you bet Blues and the final score is 14-20 to Stormers, you will win. But, using that same example, if you bet Stormers, you would lose. Because if you take 7 off 20, then you’re left with 14-13 to Blues. Quite cool, hey?

     

    SIX NATIONS

     

    France vs Wales

    2.00 for a France win (+2 handicap), 1.833 for a Wales win (-2 handicap) and 15 for a draw (+2 handicap on France score).

     

    Ireland vs England

    1.833 for an Ireland win (-7 handicap), 2.00 for an England win (+7 handicap) and 15 for a draw (-7 handicap on Ireland score)

     

    I had dinner last night with some friends, one of whom is an actuary. Of course you know that Actuarial Science is the discipline that applies mathematical and statistical methods to assess risk in the insurance and finance industries. We discussed this sports betting issue and agreed that a less risky bet would be the more informed bet.

    That said, I would appreciate some insight from the rugby inside circle please – the likes of Abbott, Fleck, Smit, Dixon, Skinstad, James, Venter, Dobson, Kahn and co., so that we can get this right!

    But besides from those in the game, I reckon the 2oceansvibe armchair punters MUST have some good advice for the four matches mentioned above?

    Can someone get Paddy Smuts in here as well please?

    Thanks.

  • FNB SKULLS

    Very interesting vibe going on here. Sent in by one of our stunning readers, it seems someone has something against FNB.

    Apparently the little skulls have been made from old bank slips and mashed together and reformed into the image of death.

     

    fnbskull
    FNB ATM’s – TOXIC

     

    With the taste of your lips I’m on a ride
    You’re toxic I’m slippin’ under
    With the taste of the poison paradise
    I’m addicted to you, don’t you know that you’re toxic?
    And I love what you do, don’t you know that you’re toxic?

    [thanks warren]

  • RACHEL BILSON IS ENAGAGED

    OKAY, can everyone just reLAX for a second?!

    Jesus…..[tidies hair] ….the ink has barely dried on Adriana Lima’s blog article announcing that she is no longer a virgin and is MARRIED. And now we get this bullshit news about Rachel Bilson being engaged!

    HUH?!

    Can we not get a WEEK between announcements of awesome chicks falling for guys that don’t compare to us in the slightest?

    It’s just all so RADICAL!

    And look at the CRAP rock he bought her:

     

    post image-rachelbilson-engagement-ring-photos-02224009-03
    “CLAP” [pause for effect, head shaking slowly]
    “CLAP” [and again]
    “CLAP”

    See you on the rebound

    PLEASE, man, give me a break. She would have got shit like that in her Christmas crackers with me.

    Shame.

    What?

    I DON’T KNOW – Who CARES what the guy’s name is!

    Read more here if you want.

    Oh god I just clicked that link. Don’t go there. You’ll see the guy.

    He’s, like, your WORST kind of guy…

  • NEW SCARLETT JOHANSSON DOLCE AD

    Just quickly take this in.

     

    scarlett-johansson-dg-02

     

    Scarlett Johansson, Dolce & Gabbana, 2oceansvibe…

    My God, it’s like a vibe explosion!

    Touch yourself..

  • SAA ADMIT SHIT SERVICE & BEG FOR MERCY

    Here’s a novel way to try and get people to calm down. SAA have erected (penis penis penis) signs at Johannesburg’s Jan Smuts airport, asking travelers not to take their stress out on the SAA staff.

     

    saa
    Honestly – do we care about your fragile staff?

     

    WHAT an incredibly amazing vibe! Imagine how cool it must be to have a company which deals in drugs, provides shit service, and then doesn’t have to deal with client backlash!

    Clearly the WHOLE of SAA are smoking weed.

    Nice.

    [thanks lauren]

  • THEY SEE ME ROLLIN’

    This is very good.

     

    rollin

     

    That made me laugh out loud.

    First time since ’94.

     

    [thanks grant]

  • THE CRUISE FAMILY GOES TO DISNEY WORLD

    I don’t know why I’m showing you this, but I guess it’s just a combination of stimuli. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, cute little Suri (dressed as a princess), Disney World, Mickey Mouse… arrrggghh!!

    It (the article) probably suits the chick readers more than anything. They can gush and ooh and aah and dream about their own family being so happy and going to Disney World.

    Like that’s ever going to happen! Certainly not while he’s bonking that girl at the office!

     

    cruise disney3thumb
    Nice
    NEXT!

    slide 1004 16596 large
    Adorable little thing

     

    Cute.

    If it’s true.

  • DAVE THOMPSON WRITES TO MAIL & GUARDIAN

    In case you missed it, Idols judge Dave Thompson was slated in a recent Mail & Guardian Thoughtleader article. You can catch that article HERE.

    that was obviously after OUR whole debacle with him and fellow judge, Randall Abrahams. You might be interested that Dave responded to the Mail & Guardian in the letters section. Here it is:

     

    Does Basson have an agenda?

    I’m intrigued by Adriaan Basson’s assumption that Idols contestants, or at least the one he’s defending, are “defenceless” (February 13). They enter willingly, and present themselves to the judging panel.

     

    davethompson-612
    DT is in the HOUSE!!

    These contestants not only have every right to disagree with us but in fact are encouraged to launch their own verbal attacks. If they’re not inclined to engage with us directly they have another opportunity, post-audition, to enter the “rant and rave” room and vent their frustration or anger in any language they want, which is filmed for later broadcast.

    The judges certainly have no opportunity to defend themselves, just as we can’t be protected from the dozens of websites and blogs that daily spew forth their distaste for us. Most of them threaten a lot more than just wanting to moer us. In fact, I would have expected Basson’s article to appear on one or other showbiz gossip site rather than in the M&G.

    I’m unconvinced that Basson has really leaped to this individual’s defence. I’m inclined to believe he has a personal agenda against me or Idols in general. If this is the case, he’ll need to get in the queue with all the other armchair critics who insist they never watch Idols. — Dave Thompson, Idols judge

     

    Nice. But the best part MUST be the reference to 2oceansvibe as a “showbiz gossip site.” Come on, Dave, it’s SO much more than that. It’s not a showbiz gossip site. It’s a LIFESTYLE. It’s a vibe that I want you to be a part of. Come play, Dave. Please? [showing frown, with bottom lip sticking out]

    Herewith, the other letters that came in following the M&G article:

     

    Thank you, Adriaan Basson, for your article on the humiliation of the “boy from Ceres” on Idols (“Angry little fat man”, February 13). Talk about trampling on the downtrodden. Talk about smug power thrills. It was devastating to witness the Idols judges’ total lack of emotional intelligence, delivering a self-glorifying tirade of abominable abuse. It reeked of sadism. — Colette van Niftrik, Cape Town

     

    And:

     

    I applaud Basson’s article on Idols. I also found the denigration of vulnerable young people by the show’s judges appalling. Idols is supposed to promote talent, but instead it is used as a vehicle for the self-promotion of a self-satisfied panel of parochial nobodies, best described as uncouth, ill-mannered and ignorant. The kindest thing that can be said about Randall Abrahams is that his obvious inferiority complex is well justified. — George Mackintosh, Hout Bay

     

    Awesome.

     

    [thanks shaun]

  • THIS ONE IS FOR THE LAYDEZZ

    The ABC Network in The States had a reality show recently called True Beauty, in which Joel Rush was a contestant.

     

    What makes a person truly beautiful? Executive producers Tyra Banks (The Tyra Banks Show, America’s Next Top Model) and Ashton Kutcher (executive producer of Punk’d and Beauty and the Geek) re-define the concept of beauty in a wildly revealing new ABC series, True Beauty, premiering, MONDAY, JANUARY 5, 2009 (10:00-11:00 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network.

    Hosted and judged by Vanessa Minnillo (former host of TRL and ET), along with judges Cheryl Tiegs (America’s first supermodel, currently designer and author) and Nolé Marin (America’s Next Top Model and fashion expert for E!, TV Guide, The Tyra Banks Show), the series will determine the True Beauty of six stunning females and four handsome males who will live together in a spectacular Los Angeles mansion as they undergo a series of challenges to determine who is truly the most beautiful.

     

    Sounds like your kind of reality show!

    I stumbled upon this pic of Joel Rush and, due to his striking resemblance to me, I thought I’d publish his pic for the angels out there.

     

    gallery main-joelrush-true-beauty-shirtless-model-photos-02232009-08
    Joel Rush

     

    Umm, ja, thanks for that, buddy..

    This guy’s name, Joel Rush, just reminded me of something funny. When The Muse is talking to someone about the singer Billy Joel, she pronounces his surname “Jewel”. But then she rolls her eyes and, using her fingers as inverted commas, says : Or “JOEL”, as Seth calls him!

    Implying that I’m off my head!

    Fucking funny.

  • ALABAMA SLAMMERS AT THE ARNISTON HOTEL – PART II

    [This article was written live on Sunday morning]

    It’s been a blur of a weekend really and whatever transpired has got nothing to do with the fat joint I had this morning before establishing myself in the Arniston Hotel breakfast lounge.

    You see, not only are you dealing with a view which could make Batman cry and gives The Safe House a run for its money, but you are also in a place where they sell Alabama Slammer cocktails, served standard with a dash of holy children’s tears. We chatted about them before, if you remember correctly .

    I’m sliding into my second one now and the time is 09h49. I haven’t eaten yet, unless you count the joint I had before I arrived here.

    We’ve had a bachelor weekend away and stayed at The Roofer‘s Arniston house. It’s not his bachelor’s, its actually for The Film Guy. Everyone is back at the house. I don’t know what the fuck they’re doing there, but the fact that they aren’t here is bordering on criminal.

    I mean, really, do you agree?

     

    IMG 5867
    Alabama Slammers over breakfast at the Arniston Hotel

     

    WAIT! STOP EVERYTHING!

    Something has just happened whilst copying the above picture into this article…

    As you will see in that picture, I have an exquisite view from my table in this, the breakfast atrium. The indoor breakfast area is just behind me, and then there is this enclosed atrium area out front.

    I was at the table in front of me, but it had too much direct sunlight and I wanted a chair that faced the ocean.

    I am the only person here. Or rather, I WAS the only person here.

    Enjoy what has just happened..

     

    IMG 5878\
    Uh oh.. what do we have here?

    Oh

    My

    Sweet

    Fuck…

    Are you KIDDING me?

    This couple has just come and sat DIRECTLY in front of me!!!

    Hang on.. [Seth pinches himself and uses various techniques he often uses to awake from bad dreams - to no avail].

    My scrambled fucking eggs have just arrived and these people have actually gone and planted themselves directly in front of my view.

    Surely not?

    Am I being Punk’d? I can’t see any cameras..

    Perhaps you think I’m over reacting?

    I’m going to take a stroll to the other end and snap a pic for you.

     

    IMG 5874
    The WHOLE place – EMPTY!
    Can you see them in the FAAAAR corner?

     

    Can you see where they are? Over there at the faaaar left end! With my spot to the right of that. You will notice that there is NO-ONE else in this ENTIRE fucking place, and they sat directly in front of me, COMPLETELY obstructing my view of the sea. I was staring out to sea for Christ sake, and now I can’t lift my head without looking at them!

    Oh God, I can hear them talking!

    Come one! Are you fucking KIDDING me??!?

    Why would anyone DO this?!

    Jesus, I really am struggling to understand this. I would NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS EVEN DREAM of doing this to someone else. SURELY they would have put themselves in my position and thought about what their actions might do to my previously very chilled mood?

    How is it possible to be so rude?

    Fuck sakes man! I’m out of here.

     

    IMG 5881
    Seth moves..

     

    I have now moved further down the drag to another table. I picked up my laptop, my breakfast, my Alabama Slammer and I moved.

    They didn’t say a word. No apology. Nothing.

    Oh hang on a cotton pickin’ second. Something is happening.

    Oh my….

    I think mine eyes are deceiving me.

    [Seth blinks, shakes his head and checks again]

    Yes, yes, I do believe it is happening. Oh my God, I need to take a pic for you.

     

    IMG 5882
    Crap couple relocates to MY table!
    Is this real?

     

    I have zoomed in taht picture for you. Can you believe it? They have just moved all their stuff to where I was originally sitting!

    Are these people professional pisser offers?

    They come into an empty place. Sit on my face. Make me leave. and then take my place. The place I originally chose to be alone and to play on my laptop and stare out to sea!

    This is very possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to me. This, and being circumcised, which I remember clearly.

    I’m speechless.

    I can’t write anymore.

    I’m going to eat my scrambled eggs and drive back to Cape Town.

    Fuck this.

  • IDOLS 2OCEANSVIBE VIDEO GETS OVER 42,000 VIEWS

    We trust you caught all the Idols action on these pages over the last couple of weeks? If not then simply click the Idols logo on the right hand side of the screen, or CLICK HERE to get up to date.

    More importantly, we hope you witnessed the letter Randall Abrahams (Idols judge) sent to 2oceansvibe and the video we made in response to his email – to which we have had no reply.

     

    IMG 3511
    Seth Rotherham
    In training during the filming of the video

    The video has been seen over 42,000 times! And if you weren’t one of those, I suggest you check it out ASAP!

    Here it is:

     


    CLICK HERE for more 2oceansvibe.TV videos

     

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