CYCLIST SOILS HIMSELF IN SHEER DEFIANCE
The public outcry against cyclists wearing their helmets in restaurants and other retail outlets, is reaching fever pitch. With the public attacks occurring everywhere from Sea Point Spar and Giovanni’s, to Newport Deli and Vida e; there seems to be no end in sight, as they INSIST on further alienating themselves from the overwhelming majority (we call this “the general public”). Not even the Constantia Wine Region is safe.
The “cut your nose off to spit your face” mentality emerges, as we see a terribly sad example at the humiliation endured by a -clearly – low ranking member of the cult. FORCED to order food indoors at Giovanni’s WITH his helmet on.
New recruit at Giovanni’s; clearly forced by
cycle cult leaders to endure the social taboo
of wearing a helmet indoors.
It is cruel, gross abuse of this man’s dignity and human rights.
How long are we going to turn a blind eye?
[thanks nick]
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16 Comments
mick
23 Feb 2009
and there was me thinking all this time you had forgotten us.
uh mean poking randall was fun, and I always like to see funny numberplates, but there was me thinking we were no longer newsworthy. it’s argus time baby and we are seen everywhere but at this address.
So we’re back. awesome.
now to this guy. Correct, he’s a cult underling. wrong shorts, for sure. the mud splats are unfortunate but not on his shirt, lending us to believe that he got them from a previous ride. ridicule at will, we would too.
the previous guy (wow more than a fortnight back)
http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/05/funky-cycling-outfits/
is indeed a leader. mock all you want, but you can NEVER go wrong with Assos. Yes I know it starts with ‘ass’ snigger snigger.
go perve here: http://www.assos.com/
oh yes, and it costs more than your Pradas
i’m so excited we’re back. now stop hooting at us the whole time
griff
23 Feb 2009
Misguided Mick,
You know what also costs more than Pradas or your bicycle? An operation to remove your foot from your mouth and your dick from your own ass.
Liz
23 Feb 2009
So I went to Olympic Cycles this weekend to buy tyres (I get on my bike once every few years ONLY to do the Argus – with no training at all). They tried to sell me tyres for R350 each. So I told them I wanted the cheapest tyres in the shop. After much sneering down their noses, they produced R99 tyres. WTF? Tyres used to cost R7 a few years ago. The whole sport has gone image-mad, and prices have sky-rocketed like all sports when they go from being fun to being the latest perceived trendy thing. Which I just don’t get. I mean pick something that can BE trendy for god’s sake. Bicycle outfits make cyclists look like wankers. It’s not trendy guys….. deal with it. Don’t make it worse by flaunting yourself everywhere.
Wonderboy
23 Feb 2009
Liz, I agree with you. I had 3 bicycles serviced the other day. One adult bike and two kids – all for getting the kids to school. It cost R1,900!! The bikes are not for professional use, they are an alternative to going to school by car. Fucking rediculous.
The service was R250 per bicycle, and the rest was for fucking tyres – to put liners in for thorns, and slime, or something, and I forget what else.
Jan
23 Feb 2009
Liz,
Seven rand for a bicycle tyre????? yeah, right! How many years ago was that? 100? Do you really think all cyclist ride to be trendy? Why do you ride the Argus without training every year? To be ‘trendy’ maybe? To tell your friends?
Just ride your bike, and shut up.
mick
23 Feb 2009
Once again, i’m so excited we’re back onto the frontpage. It seems the fanmail is here, too. I’m a bit disappointed by the quantity, but it is top quality stuff.
Indulge me for a further minute as I respond:.
Griff: A witty, well thought and original posting. Despite the anatomical difficulties, I think I understand what you’re getting at. Keep up the good work, and give us a shout when you make it to the Huisgenoot masthead.
Liz: You are what we call a funrider. Now cycling is a sport that encompasses our entire rainbow country. That’s from the oke in blue overalls riding to the timberyard; to the CEO’s who have sold the golf clubs and do the business deals on their Pinarellos that cost more than your car. I think you have become confused as to where you belong here, so try the hypermarket and they’ll sell you some rubber for under fifty bucks.
Wunderboy:
Well I’m glad one of them is for professional use, what team are you on? See above or learn how to look after them properly yourself in the first place. Even herdboys can change a tyre and tune the gear adjustments.
Eugenic
23 Feb 2009
truly the sport of FUCKWITS. Name any other sport where, either during or after taking part, you attend restaurants and coffee shops fully kitted out, including angle shattering footwear to ponce around on like a spastic ballerina. Crapping dogs man, do you find rugby players at half time hanging around the mugg & bean, dripping blood with service staff battling to understand their mouth-guard inhibited pronounciation? Do you see ice-hockey goal keepers trying to fend their way through busy Vida E cafe’s to get to the muffin counter? NO. You don’t. These NORMAL sports people GO HOME AND CHANGE, before going out to engage in social activities.
What does this prove? Well, its quite simple. BicyCLITS truly are FUCKTARDS that should be humiliated and abused at whim, because they GAG for it
R S
23 Feb 2009
I agree with Lizzy. Cycling gear is a social/societal disgrace. Also, they are in my way the whole time! Get off the road you power ranger!!!
griff
23 Feb 2009
Mick, referring to your comment at 6. I am not the Huilgenoot type. I actually wrote a best seller called “Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?”. Cyclists feature in the book as well. Because they are tos. It is up there with Mugabe (also in the book). Give it a read, defrag your brain and acquire a proper sense for humor. It might also teach you the 300 words we have in the Afikaans language. So next time when someone shouts “Vyf punte vir die poes op die fiets!” you’ll know to get out of the way. Fast.
Eugenic
23 Feb 2009
check out this great cycling crash – sweet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frxfRdcPjVw
mick
23 Feb 2009
Eugenic…breathe buddy. Seems like you gonna blow an o-ring there.
You’re right, I have never seen an ice hockey goalie at the Vida. I doubt it’s because there is no iceroad between Canada and South Africa. Goalies are special people who don’t drink coffee anyway.
Nor have I seen a bleeding rugby player at the Mugg and Bean during halftime. There was only ever one Mugg and Bean at a rugby ground. Just before you get to Boschendal you will go through Pniel. Pniel Villagers had the best coffee in the league thanks to the M&B in their clubhouse. One week-end Hands and Hearts came for the much anticipated ‘rugby’ game and at half time they went for the customary moer koffie. Bleeding and all. For the first time ever, the fight broke out off the field – 21 coffees at R15 a pop was just not cricket. Mr Mugg and Dr. Bean learnt from this and nowadays you won’t find a M&B within studwalking distance from a rugby field. True story.
Now back to your other eloquent point. Yes, I can think of another sport where competitors will enter an establishment in [shock shock horror] full sporting attire.
Yachting.
In fact most of our race victories on the L34 are celebrated rafting up at Quay Four, where we order from the bar without changing. Washes fine with the management and patrons.
Of course helmets aren’t exactly necessary indoors, despite the sense of rage you crowd seem to hold for us. A good one will cost more than your Pradas and weigh less too. You forget you’re even wearing them. So in general we don’t really support it, but every sport has their Luke Watsons.
We’ll save the helmet hair debate for another time.
number 10. Jap track racing at its best. you see how funrider mr Pink came short…great stuff!
mick
23 Feb 2009
Griff #9
Wow, didn’t realise I was dealing with such a journalistic heavyweight here, I do apologise about the HG/YOU comment (I would retract it, but it seems Seth makes us write in permanent ink here). I’ve got a copy of the first english one, did you just vertaal the whole thing or do you have some new material on a par with your original post in #2?
Liz
23 Feb 2009
Jan (comment 5) ROTFLMAO. If I wanted to be trendy I’d go on a diet. And not wear cycling kit….
Mick (comment 6), wish I’d known about the hyperama before I went to Olympic. But thanks for the tip. Appreciated. Am definitely a funrider. Can’t see the point of riding for hours and hours of training to save 25 mins in the actual Argus Tour. I do the tour because the vibe on the day is awesome. I’ll be the one with streamers on my helmet.
BTW what’s with the death wish cyclists on Rhodes Drive every morning? I sometimes think these guys are hoping to be the next Darwin Award Contestants. Boneheads….
Eugenic
23 Feb 2009
jeeeezus mick, I started gnawing off my own hand trying to stay awake reading through that diatribe – I see right through your tactics – you are trying to wear me out. NO FEAR, I am on to you like a cycling tights RASH.
Clearly you are a bicyle knob, trying to defend, in a failing attempt at coolness way, the habits and customs of your other bicycle maties. Why the need? You have each other – no attempt at trying to engage normal people is going to buy you access to mainstream life – you have given this up by joining the ranks of the lycra clad meatball parade. I am sure you chappies have your own little bicycle chat rooms and bolgspots where you can rant and chat about how unfair the world treats you lot. Isn’t this enough, or do you still crave acceptance and love from normal, cool, good-looking and yes, prada-wearing people like me?
Brian
23 Feb 2009
Hey relax all, geez! although the cyclists wearing that gear (instead of smoking it) is funny, the teasing is funny but dont take it so personal. I never ride a bike, although i have one and it’s their hooby/ sport! at laest they don’t play badminton!!! chill out people… get used to the teasing, don’t be crute, but rather rude, you old prunes
so keep up the good work cyclists, thanks for taking a beating to make us laugh… but DO NOT WEAR THOSE FUCKING HELMUTS INDOORS! you’re not in Israel! u don’t need them! (oh i like how that one dude made the comment about the mud splats to justify it.. we all know he pooped himself when seth slammed on brakes in front of him! deal with it, live with it!
mick
24 Feb 2009
Like I said, all sports have their pukes, feel free to ridicule most helmeted indoor bikers. We seem to agree on something.
Just for you Eugenic (great name!), I’ll keep it short. You don’t exude much coolness. I hope you can prove me otherwise.
You ask for coolness, google this world champion. He was born cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4XxCZagAjk
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