I got this on Friday *ahem* my birthday – from a 2oceansvibe reader. I wanted to publish it on the day, like I did the other cleavage message (which was awesome), but realise it was more of a Tuesday Tabs feature – given the wet T-shirt and all.

Let’s have a little look. Click pic for NSFW image:

CLICK PIC for NSFW image

Excellent work! 10 out of 10, some might say.

Thanks so much, mystery girl! That is easily the best prezzie I got!

Remember, girls, this kind of behaviour is not restricted to just birthdays. You can go ahead and send that kind of stuff ANY DAY of the year!

Yup, it’s true.

Didn’t you know that?

Oh ja! Seriously. Go for it..

Joseph Fritzl , the guy that kept his daughter as a sex slave underground and raped her and had a number of kids with her and killed one, gave some good exposure to a certain brand of file binder.

Fritzl holds his preferred brand in front of his face

No, no – this is NOT a joke. It’s the real thing.

In the spirit of “all publicity is good publicity,” the Google translation tool translated this, into this (obviously it might my SLIGHTLY off, but you get the idea):

“Any free advertising is included, especially given the global interest in this process,” says Martine Poppe, Head of Customer Services of the Belgian manufacturer. “Al hadden we ons merk natuurlijk liever aan een wat positiever personage verbonden. Maar het is nu niet anders.” “All of our brand, we prefer a more positive character related. But it is no different.”

Het bedrijf verwacht door de ‘reclame’ niet direct meer ringmappen te verkopen. The company expects the ‘advertising’ not to sell more ring binders. “Maar dat net onze map tijdens het proces opduikt, bewijst toch dat we als merk iets betekenen”, aldus Poppe in Het Nieuwsblad. “But that just our folder pops up during the process, it proves that we as a brand mean something,” said Poppe in Het Nieuwsblad.

 

Monster Munch

 

Enkele uren later liet Esselte weten de ‘ongelukkige uitspraken’ die de Belgische medewerkster tegenover Het Nieuwsblad deed te betreuren. A few hours later showed Esselte know the “unfortunate statements” by the Belgian assistant front Reuters was regrettable. “Zij heeft deze uitspraken op persoonlijke titel gedaan. Het mag duidelijk zijn dat Esselte zijn naam op geen enkele wijze aan een persoon als Joseph Fritzl wil verbinden en dat het bedrijf de daden van Joseph Fritzl afkeurt en het proces zeker niet als reclame beschouwt”, aldus de fabrikant. “It has made statements in his personal capacity. It is clear that Esselte his name in no way a person as Joseph Fritzl to connect and that the company acts of Joseph Fritzl rejects and the process especially as regards advertising, says the manufacturer.

Quite a vibe.

I don’t know. I’d probably distance myself from guys who rape their kids.

CLICK HERE to read his full explanation of why he did it..

CLICK HERE for The Daily Beast’s investigation into the rise of crimes of incest.

This is, of course, COMPLETELY different to the Cambodian pre-teens who live under my floor boards and churn out slip slops. I don’t abuse them and they told me they are happy. Wouldn’t you be if you lived on Butlers, Jack Black, De Grendel, Woolies, Vida e and Caprice leftovers?

Exactly!

Nailed.

Andy Skinstad has an acute sense of what I enjoy. That is why he sent me this video, showing a chameleon walking over a range of Ray Ban Wayfarers .

A chameleon flirts with Seth’s shazzles.

Obviously I was quite pleased that they included a red pair like mine in the experiment! Although I wouldn’t have minded seeing the little chameleon deal with my Louis Vuittons … black and gold would look pretty awesome.

This video rocks. Check it out.

That is one very cool chameleon!

If you enjoyed that, then check out more of Andy’s vibe at his blog entitled andy skinstad 3.0. (as we wait patiently to crack the nod to his exclusive list of blogroll links..).

It looks like the latest allegations made by ex-Teazers stripper, Marilize Emmenis, are enough for Supersport to issue Joost van der Westhuizen a yellow card.

News24 reports:

Cooling off period for Joost

Johannesburg – Representatives of the management of SuperSport met with former Springbok Joost van der Westhuizen on Monday to discuss further allegations which have been made against the presenter in the media over the weekend.

 

Joost and his current wife, Amor
With, what looks like, a needle

 

A so-called “sex tape” surfaced in February allegedly showing the former scrumhalf engaged in oral sex with an unidentified woman.

The pair in the video were reportedly sniffing a white powder but Van der Westhuizen has denied all the allegations.

This weekend, an article in Rapport, claimed that Marilize van Emmenis, 24, of Hartbeespoort, had confessed to being the woman in the video.

SuperSport has since said in a statement that the recently made allegations differ from previous allegations, in that same no longer emanate from anonymous sources.

“SuperSport regards such allegations in a very serious light, but also respects Van der Westhuizen’s constitutional right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty. His appearances on air are adding pressure to the situation which is not conducive to the allegations being resolved.”

The statement read, “SuperSport and Van der Westhuizen have mutually agreed that it will be in both parties’ best interests if SuperSport does not call upon Van der Westhuizen to render services to it until further notice.”

SuperSport has not dismissed Van der Westhuizen.

Translation : “Joost is as guilty as sin and it’s fucking emboerrissing that the guy can carry on about family and religion the way he does with a straight face and we cannot be associated with him.”

Hmm. He really should just fall on his sword now – a la Hansie.

In the words of The Travelling Wilburys – “And the walls came down..[duh dooomm].. all the way to hell… [deedle-dee deedle-dee]“

[thanks lee]

ps. Fergus sent me a reminder of a story I wrote about Joost three years ago, entitled ‘Joost’ sounds like ‘doos’ – documenting an encounter I had with the rugby/porn star, when I was a bit younger.. CLICK HERE for that article.

True love is alive and well, my friends! As we hear the news of billionaire Netscape founder, Jim Clark, marrying supermodel, Kristy Hinze !

I like this guy. Let’s check him out..

Here’s Jim :

Jim Clark – 65
Solid

And here’s Kristy:

Kristy Hinze – 28
Nicely

It’s a beautiful thing.

The NYpost reported just before the wedding:

It’s good to be Jim Clark.

The techno-billionaire, who is set to marry a golden-haired swimsuit model half his age tomorrow in the British Virgin Islands, continues to lead a charmed life.

The 64-year-old Netscape co-founder will wed Kristy Hinze, 28, as part of a lavish four-day affair that will drift from Clark’s $100 million yacht, Sir Richard Branson’s private Necker Island and the island Virgin Gorda, where the ceremony will be held.

The 120 guests will adhere to a “tropical chic” dress code, and a strict no-shoes policy while on his fabled yacht The Athena which is thought to be the world’s largest in private hands, according to the Melbourne Herald Sun newspaper.

 

Our boy’s yacht

 

It’ll be his fourth trip down the aisle, and on Monday, Clark celebrates his 65th birthday.

The self-described “child of hardscrabble Texas” is the first man in history to start three multi-billion dollar companies. When his Netscape Communications went public in 1995 it was one of the most successful IPOs in history. He’s currently worth $1.1 billion.

And now he’s marrying the blond host of Australia’s “Project Runway” – a cover girl since age 14 who has seductively posed in next to nothing for both Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret.

The May-December couple has been dating for several years, ever since Clark’s high-profile and pricey divorce from Forbes business reporter Nancy Rutter, his wife of 15 years.

Rutter got $100 million in the cash, stocks, and bonds; $24.6 million in property; a $600,000 ownership stake in a Citation V jet; plus racehorses, jewelry and furniture in the settlement.

But even before they put pen to paper on the resolution, Clark had already landed a babe who is younger than his own daughter by a decade.

Just a few days after the divorce went final, Clark could be seen cruising the world’s oceans with a beautiful blond by his side. Dubbed his “Aussie Angel,” she was outed as Hinze in 2006.

“I never thought I was going to date an older man when I first met him,” Hinze told The Australian Women’s Weekly.

[read more here]

Ja, I bet you didn’t, my baby. I also bet you didn’t expect to marry a dollar billionaire. Not that there is anything wrong with it. Personally, I think it’s fucking awesome and I encourage it. They both have something to offer the other and love can easily come from that. Genuinely, I mean that.

Let’s check them out together:

You’ve done well, my boy..
Enjoy the fruits of your success

And there I was telling you about the awesome yachts and mansions you could buy if you won the PlayEuroMillions lottery – COMPLETELY forgetting about the supermodels you could marry once you get the necessary loot!

Cash is sexy – deal with it.

Why do you think Bernie Ecclestone is so hot?

(Incidentally, it’s not Jim Clark the Scottish F1 champ – he is no longer with us..)

Finishline @ Forries is the Official Two Oceans Marathon After party.

Go to your diary now. Go to 11 April. Now double click 11h00 and type in “Puma and Forries after party for Two Oceans Marathon.”

From 1pm you’ll be chilling out to the Urban Sounds of Craig de Sousa with Dan Shout on Sax followed by Gary Poole. Dino Moran will see us through the sunset session and the stunning Vanessa Holliday will end the day off with her set from 8:30pm.

Forries on Newlands Avenue sets the scene
for Puma’s Two Oceans Marathon after-party

Enjoy this : There will a live carving of a PUMA cat ice sculpture at Forries, starting at 2pm, and everyone can get involved. Hmm, I can just see it…nice.

Get a lucky race number at the door from a Puma brand ambassador and stand a chance to win awesome Puma prizes as you check out their new Lift range.

Sick!

Doors open at 11am and free parking
is available at SACS High School.
(ooh, aah, sexi….)

Be there.

Today is the last days of voting for the 2009 South African Blog Awards. It’s a great opportunity for those of you out there that haven’t voted, to do your thing. It is the only way to keep 2oceansvibe going. I can almost guarantee you that if you don’t vote, 2oceansvibe will be no more.

And, just in case you wanted some kind of incentive, here is the video I published just last week, telling you exactly what I will do, should 2oceansvibe win the best overall blog.

Oh, you missed that, did you? Don’t panic, here it is again:

Would you like that?

Ja, I bet you would.

Seth in a thong on a scooter, up and down the Camps Bay strip, in front of Caprice..

Only you can make it happen.

CLICK HERE TO CAST YOUR VOTE

** REMEMBER YOUR VOTE IS NOT CAST UNTIL YOU CLICK THE CONFIRMATION LINK IN THE EMAIL THEY SEND YOU ** IF YOU HAVEN’T DONE THAT THEN YOU HAVEN’T VOTED **

Taken from The Safe House at around 18h50.

Something different.

I’m fine with that..

Just like that.

Beyonce – giving it a full rev

BANG!

Right….

Nowwww…..where were we?

I’d say the colour black has the monopoly when it comes to cycling shorts colours. I think we should have a quick recap as to why that is. Here is a super cool group of cyclists wearing black shorts:

Cyclists – in black shorts
(I think it’s fair to say they are
lined up according to height)

So you get the idea.

Basic stuff.

Now let’s out another group of cyclists, wearing red shorts.

Cyclists – in red shorts
Far more “in your face”

Quite a rad vibe the boys are going for hey?

Ja, pretty sick!

Keep it up..

[thanks corneile]

There’s a beautiful new round of interviews that have gone down over the last week. There was also the very spicy one on Sunday in the Sunday Times Lifestyle section (CLICK HERE FOR THAT), as well as the GoTravel24 interview and the Digital Edge podcast interview.

In case you missed those, check it out:

Kelly Wheeler
March 27th, 2009

 

 

Seth Rotherham is one of South Africa’s most successful bloggers. 2oceansvibe is top of my Google Reader and was nominated for an incredible six SA Blog Awards with the ceremony due to take place next Friday in Cape Town.

From his loathing for crocs to his excellent advice on how to torture Butler’s delivery guys, Seth has a loyal following who share his love for Cape Town, frivolity and saying exactly what you think. Bless the internet.

 

(photo courtesy verstercohen.com)

 

We chatted to him about holidays, Cape Town and even porn. And it’s his birthday today, so we let him say pretty much anything he wanted.

GoTravel24.com: How do you live your motto “Work is a sideline, live the holiday”?

Seth: “It’s not hard when you live slap bang in Camps Bay – it’s all pretty much taken care of. I take a dip in the ocean as often as I can – usually first thing in the morning and hopefully later in the day, whilst lying at Beta Beach. I also try my best to wear Hawaiian shirts as much as possible. I suggest people out there do the same – this alone will give you the impression that you’re on holiday. Even if you’re a 9-5er, who says you can’t wear Hawaiian shirts?

Your travel nightmare would be?

“Anything which involves the sentence ‘We don’t have any record of your name here,’ as the little angel ticker tacks away at the keyboard, contorting her face, wide-eyed looking at the screen as her head shakes slowly from side to side…. ‘Nope…. Can’t find it anywhere…’ That’s when I start scrounging through my bag for the Xanors I borrowed from The Roofer…

Are you a member of the mile-high club?

“Hmm, It depends… are you keen? Do you have a plane? Actually, funny story – a friend of ours, “Boegom”, is loath to admit that he hasn’t tried everything sexually. So, when he came back from a trip and claimed to have joined the mile high club, we all gave him the necessary high-fives. Acutely aware of his knack for embellishment, the boys started to push him, ‘SERIOUSLY, Boegie, did you REALLY do it? Tell us more. How EXACTLY did you do it?’ – he nodded, went quiet, and whispered, ‘does a blow job count?’ Whaaahahaha! No, it most certainly does NOT!!! (Love you, Boegom!)

That was just a short excerpt so read the rest here !

You need to check out the rest of that interview , in particular the comments section under the interview – it’s got some AWESOME haters!

Then there was also the Digital Edge Podcast, which has just gone live. this one is slightly different because it’s a podcast. For those of you who think a podcast is something to do with a magical spell involving peas, it is actually an audio interview.

Have a listen to the latest interview, featuring various South African bloggers,as well as yours truly! It’s entitled “Reprobates and Bloggers” – CLICK HERE FOR THAT

I’m very impressed with these guys and would also like to urge you to vote for them in the 2009 SA Blog Awards in the category BEST SOUTH AFRICAN PODCAST. CLICK HERE for that .

Sick!

UPDATE: In case you checked this out earlier – The Sunday Times Lifestyle section interview can be seen here.

Nando’s grilled peri-peri chicken restaurants have moved quickly and are able to capitalise on the Joost van der Westhuizen sex tape scandal.

With this:

Good. We approve.

Go to www.joostsextape.co.za for more..

[thanks catherine]

Like Kim Jong il , I do enjoy mass crowd formations and visual displays, using the likes of military armies and gymnasts. I have, however, never seen it done by sheep.

Not in the day, nor at night!

This will blow your mind:

You like that?

Amazing, just when you thought you knew all the uses for sheep, we get this!

God, they’re so versatile!

[thanks charl and kate]

Local Afrikaans newspaper, Rapport, are becoming more and more sensational by the day! This weekend they absolutely dominated with a story about the girl in the Joost van der Westhuizen video!

I’ve been DYING to see what this chick looks like. Given that the truth will eventually come out, the hotness of the chick could have counted in Joost van der Westhuizen’s favour. If it turned out she was a perfect 10 Russian, I think you’ll find the public more understanding.

Sadly this is not the case, as 24 year old Marilize van Emmenis has finally gone public about what happened with Joost van der Westhuizen. This includes her confirmation that it IS Joost van der Westhuizen in the video.

Marilize van Emmenis
(Source:Rapport)

But we knew that. What we did not know, is that the shit Joost was sniffing wasn’t cocaine, it was actually “cat” which Joost brought along. Cat is apparently a very poor man’s coke.

Nice.

Classy.

She also maintains that the reason she is doing this (going public) is because Amore (Joost’s wife) should know about his infidelity, as well as the general public and fans that apparently look up to him as a role model and a religious family man. For out foreign readers out there who have never heard of Joost, he and his wife were basically a South African version/caricature of Posh and Becks. Very emboerrissing to watch.

It is also starting to make sense why Joost claimed that the guy in the video’s penis was too big to be his. Subconsciously, he knew this would all eventually come out and he would have the opportunity to say, “Fuck, I guess my dick IS that big!!” See what he did there? He tricked us. The penis in the video wasn’t actually that big in the first place!

Genius, really.

If you want to find out more from the woman in the video, you can read it all in Afrikaans in the Rapport. I basically translated all of the stuff above. Pretty good, hey? I’ll admit, I had a shit-hot Afrikaans teacher at school.

Dankie meneer, vir al die advice en tips.

If you don’t understand Afrikaans, then you can go straight to www.joostsextape.co.za and watch it in the international language of sex tapes.

UPDATE: Even more in English from iol.

Already had a couple cleavage birthday wishes, which I’m very impressed with.

The first, these little beauties:

Nice.
Real nice..

 

Hey Seth,

They say all good things come to good men – and so I thank you for allowing me to celebrate your birthday with you!

The girls in my office allowed me the pleasure of painting your birthday wishes onto their naked breasts… and take the pics, though I did have to control my shaking hands!

So here’s hoping you birthday is just tit! And that you are showered with gifts and happiness and pictures of naked women!

From all of us at Big Shot Productions and Flagon Licensing!

Rouvanne, Craig, Lenny (first rack), Jamie (second rack) & Angie.

Very cool, thanks, girls! Means a lot, seriously..

there’s still time left.

Let’s see if these can be topped..

Those of you who stay here all day will remember that a few hours ago I put up the 50 cent video – Yo Shorty, it’s your birthday, because, well, it’s my birthday.

So anyway, that prompted Chris O to send me this absolute gem.

Enjoy this guy’s passport:

Aaah, that’s too beautiful!

God I love this place!

It’s your birthday
We gon’ party like it’s yo birthday
We gon’ sip Bacardi like it’s your birthday
And you know we don’t give a fuck
It’s not your birthday!

Bridget, my favourite of the three Playboy Mansion angels, has started a new TV show type vibe. It’s called “Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches .” She’s such a cutie. The costume she is wearing is a little Jo’burg for me, but she gets away with it ‘cos she’s such a little cutie pie.

Mwah!

Hello, my bubby!!!
xxx

Cute, man!

Now I know some of you have chosen Kendra as your favourite Playmate and you might be angry about my choice but, let’s face it, Kendra is a little mousey..

And you certainly can’t have Holly as your favourite, not when she’s got that 35 year old single white southern suburbs chick permanent look of panic of her face. Christ – it’s like…HELLOOOO…. PSYCHOOOO!!

Ok, enough about the Playboy Mansion chicks.

Do you want to laugh?

[you go, "Ja, big time"]

Cool. Just because it’s my birthday (and therefore it is YOUR birthday), I’m giving you this, a BONUS LINK!! Enjoy that (safe for work – just a funny ad for a guy advertising for a room mate).

It’s your birthday
We gon’ party like it’s yo birthday
We gon’ sip Bacardi like it’s your birthday
And you know we don’t give a fuck
It’s not your birthday!

[thanks brian]