White 31 year old, Brandon Huntley, has managed to get as far as he can from the Mowbray mean streets.

Canada were happy to take him on.

This, from the Ottawa Sun :

An Ottawa man has been granted refugee status after an immigration board panel ruled he would be likely be persecuted if he returned back to his native South Africa — because he is white.

A Canadian immigration and refugee board panel ruled Thursday that Brandon Huntley, 31, could stay in Canada because he presented “clear and convincing proof of the state’s inability or unwillingness to protect him.”

 

A white dog
Cute? Apparently not..

 

“I find that the claimant would stand out like a ‘sore thumb’ due to his colour in any part of the country,” tribunal panel chair William Davis said in his decision to grant Huntley refugee status.

It’s likely the first time a white South African has been granted refugee status in Canada claiming persecution from black South Africans, said Russell Kaplan, Huntley’s immigration lawyer.

“There’s a hatred of what we did to them and it’s all about the colour of your skin,” Huntley said of the violence wrought by black attackers on many white South Africans.

Huntley first came to Canada on a six-month work permit in 2004 to work as a carnival attendant. He returned home to South Africa and came back to work in Canada in 2005 for a year and stayed illegally for an additional year until he made a refugee claim in April 2008.

Growing up in Mowbray, a town near Cape Town, Huntley was attacked seven times — including three stabbings — by black South Africans during attempted robberies and muggings.

During these attacks, Huntley told the refugee board that he was called “a white dog” and “a settler ,” a reference to South Africa’s colonial past based on racial apartheid.

“If you have got the money, you can protect yourself,” Huntley said of the armed security guards wealthy white South Africans hire to protect themselves.

Huntley’s “subjective fear of persecution remained constant and consistent” up to the time he made his refugee claim, Davis noted in his decision on Huntley’s claim.

[more here]

Wow – the first whitey to get refugee status in Canada – he’s gonna have a ball over there.

While I do feel sorry for Brandon Huntley and appreciate what he has apparently been through, I would like to know exactly where he lived and why he stayed in a place where he was attacked seven times. Maybe try a different route home? Or install some burglar bars?

A similar thing was happening to a friend of mine living in London.

He moved.

I spent a large portion of my life in the Southern Suburbs and, in particular, Mowbray. My mother’s office was in Mowbray, as well as my bank branch. I didn’t LIVE in the area and I’m aware that it’s not exactly Upper Newlands, but I had and still have a number of friends living there. I have never heard of any of them, nor any other white person I know living anywhere EVER being called a “white dog” or a “settler.”

And what do they mean by him standing out “like a sore thumb.” Is he implying that as a white person in South Africa you will be targeted, but not as a black person? Which part of Mowbray will everything come to a standstill if you walk through it as a white person?

I’m not saying he is LYING, I’m just saying that he is potentially a spice master and I’d love to hear the other side of the story. You know, just to find out a little more about the circumstances. That, and the burning question on everyone’s mind – does he have many friends? Black OR white?

I just find it interesting, that’s all..

What do YOU think? Do you reckon Brandon Huntley is a spice master?

[thanks holly]

A buddy of mine is a partner at the Simbavati River Lodge , which is situated in the northern sector of the Timbavati Nature Reserve. He sent me an excited email yesterday with a link to a Youtube video. It was a recently taken clip of an elephant giving birth during a tourist game drive.

I clicked the link and checked it out. Pretty impressive stuff, I must say.

Have a look for yourself. Drop a tear if need be:

Very emotional

Oh ja, we can get down and dirty with mother nature here at 2oceansvibe, if the mood takes us! Pretty rad, hey?

I might as well give his lodge a quick plug while we’re at it. You should go and visit them – awesome value for money! What’s more, they’re part of the vibe so they’ll give you a 10% discount if you mention 2oceansvibe.

www.simbavati.co.za

Simbavati River Lodge is an intimate and friendly camp built on the banks of the Nhlaralumi River in the heart of the world famous Timbavati Private Nature Reserve. Shaded by age old Jackalberry and Leadwood trees, Simbavati is warm and welcoming, with a generous contemporary design and accommodation for up to eighteen guests in luxury tented rooms or thatched chalets.

Simbavati takes its name from the local Shangaan language, translated as “the place where the lions come down from the stars”. The focus of the lodge is on the excellent big-5 game viewing, breathtaking views, friendly and knowledgeable staff in an environment where guests are made to feel comfortable and relaxed from the moment they arrive.

The design of this 4-star lodge is contemporary, warm and welcoming. Guest common areas offer a generously proportioned lounge, bar, boma and extensive decks with breathtaking views overlooking the Nhlaralumi river where regular wildlife sightings take place and guests can unwind.

Accommodation consists of four luxury tents and three chalets; all are privately situated, comfortably furnished and with en-suite facilities.
Luxury tent amenities:

* – Twin bed configuration
* – En-suite bathroom with bath/shower and double vanity basin
* – Complimentary toiletries provided
* – Outside shower/bath
* – Wardrobe with coat hangers
* – Private viewing deck
* – 2 point plug converters
* – Non smoking rooms

Very cool.

Have a squizz at their website HERE.

I’m so glad that rural African communities have finally embraced the timeless Louis Vuitton monogram. Finally, I have something to serve salads in which can rival my Alessi collection!

Tell me, how badly do you want this calabash?

Louis Vuitton calabash
So awesome it hurts

What a wonderful concept – to support local industry and maintain international premium fashion brand consciousness at the same time! And, what’s more, it costs next to nothing – thus helping YOU during the recession. Everyone’s a winner!

But seriously, let’s find out exactly what is going on here. This, from designboom:

developed for a collective exhibition in dakar, senegal, sébastien bouchard’s ‘c’est la crise’ (crisis time)
is an artistic response to the current global economic situation.

 

Mnandi

 

the calabash, is a bowl made from the calabash tree. it is an object which is commonly used
in african culture. every family has its own calabash to carry things, use it in cooking…
it is an object which has a price of less than 1€ but is something which everyone uses daily.
the idea behind ‘c’est la crise’ is to elaborate on the significance of this bowl and its use
by contrasting it with the iconic louis vuitton monogram which is a symbol of luxury
and high-end goods. the juxtaposition of the painted vuitton graphics on the exterior of the calabash
result in a confrontation between the necessities of african life and the desires of western life.

Whatever, let’s just tell the truth – it looks AWESOME and I want one!

I could probably get Mavis to work on producing these. Then I could get those annoying illegal wire chameleon selling people in Camps Bay to flog them for me (alongside the knockoff Havaianas flip-flops the Cambodian pre-teen kids under my floorboards are churning out).

Then I’ll just sit back and count the cash!

Now that’s living the holiday!

[thanks andy]

I don’t often suffer from diva-like behaviour. Not because I’m not capable of it, but more because I seem to deal with people who understand good hospitality, rendering the notion impossible. Let’s take Cosmopolitan magazine, for example – who on Thursday night hosted the 2009 Comopolitan Lingerie Fashion Show at Wembley Square.

I mean, really now, it’s pretty damn difficult not to be happy with front row seats, as The Muse and I found ourselves right next to the doyenne of South African magazines and matriarch of the Raphaely publishing empire, Jane Raphaely .

That’s pretty serious company I’m keeping there, I think you would agree? Do you understand the vibe to which I refer? Perhaps you’re unaware with what we’re dealing with when it comes to this woman..

I did a little digging and got this, for the uninformed.

AfricanSuccess tells us:

Jane Raphaely is one of the most powerful woman in South Africa. Raphaely founded Fair Lady in 1967 and in 1982 launched Associated Magazines , now the largest privately owned publishing house in SA. With annual turnover of more than R200m, Associated Magazines controls the lion’s share of the women’s magazine title market, including Femina, House & Leisure, Cosmopolitan, Brides & Homes, Baby & Me and marie claire. Raphaely also played an influential role in the publishing coup of the decade, securing the first publishing rights for Oprah Winfrey’s magazine, O, outside the US.

 

This is not Jane Raphaely

 

Through her magazines, she influences more than 2m women readers monthly. But it’s not all fashion and fads. Raphaely has campaigned and lobbied for various social causes , especially against abuse of women.

[read more here]

And I tell you what, she was nothing short of delightful!

So while Jane’s daughter Julia is giving the company the necessary business leadership as Managing Director, you’ve got her sister Vanessa handling the editorial side of things as Editorial Director. I’ve chatted about the various Raphaely girls at length on 2oceansvibe, but perhaps you didn’t grasp that we are in the midst of a publishing dynasty here. It’s a fabulous thing and anyone who has even the smallest inclination or passion for anything from Hearst and McCord to Anna Wintour and Coco Chanel – you’ve got a classic fashion/publishing tale right here in your back yard.

Mrs Stuart Chait and friend
Giving us some Foschini action

Back to the show – Aletha Carswell put the whole thing together and, as you can imagine, things just exploded from the word go. As something that can surely only be compared to a prize-stallion horse auction ring, there is no other way to fully describe the almost tangible energy and confidence of these gorgeous thoroughbred models as they pound that ramp.

Hello, my little pumpkin!

When Michelle Cowley exploded onto the ramp, there was a roar from the crowd as everyone clapped with their mouths open, all thinking the same thing “Jesus, this is the real deal.” It certainly was. She certainly was. God, that woman is a pro (and doing it post-child, if you don’t mind)! She may as well have been snorting clouds of steam from her nostrils and kicking up dust in the paddocks on a cold dew-swept Queen’s Plate January morning.

Michelle Cowley AKA Mrs. Gorgens
Gives us WonderBra
(This woman has had a child)

World class, guys – well done – especially to the models who sported not-so-skinny frames which was truly refreshing.

Thanks to all the angels (Janie etc.) at Cosmo (that includes you, Jaco-Louis!) for a stunning evening.

And to Jane, it was an absolute pleasure, darling! x

Guys, guys, guys, guys, GUYS! And GIRLS!

You have bought your tickets for The Killers, playing in Cape Town on December 6, right? Because if you haven’t, I’d shake a leg if I were you – they’ll be sold out when Cape Town suddenly realises what is going on. Then you’ll look like a right twerp.

They’re so close to being sold out you really need to move.

6000.co.za tells us:

Golden Circle tickets for The Killers’ Jo’burg concert at the Coca-Cola Dome on Friday 4th December have sold out – barely two hours after officially going on sale. Recession? What recession?

However, at the time of writing, Golden Circle tickets for the Cape Town concert on the 6th at the Val de Vie Polo Estate are still available.

I’ve bought my golden circle tickets and I’m going to rock out, very possibly with my cock out. It’s THE KILLERS, people – I chat about them the whole time. Do you remember the last article? The one about when they sang live on Letterman. God-damn, it was good. Click here to relive that article and video. It’s VERY important that you do that.

The video features the song “A Dustland Fairytale.” It’s playing right now in my suite at the Cape Royale Hotel. Well, not really. But I am playing The Killers . I’m playing their original difinitive hit, ” Mr. Brightside ,” which I think we all need to listen to.

I want you to enjoy this video with the sound up. It’s important that you watch it, as it will give you a good understanding of what it’s like inside my womb.

CRANK IT UP!!!!!!!

TUNE!

Oh my good God how amazing was that? Did you enjoy the SA flags in the crowd?

Play it again. Or, if you want, play the music video (here) which stars legend of all Hollywood legends, Eric Roberts (funily enough he also starred in Mariah Carey’s music video for the song “We Belong Together”). Shit, small world!

Let’s all play it again. DO IT! Press play AGAIN! And again. And again.

While we’re at it, would it be too much to ask for you to ensure you know the lyrics for just that one song, at the very least? In time for the concert?

Here you go.

I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his-chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, letting me go

And I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

Get your effing tickets, people… Computer Mania are selling tickets.

Oh, sorry, I meant Computicket (with their amazing new website which still doesn’t have an affiliate system). It’s in Paarl (the concert). At Val de Vie Wine and Polo estate. Which I’m also fine with. I think I might have to take the R8.

Buy their CD “Hot Fuss” online here. (”Mr Brightside” is on that album).

Or their latest album “Day & Age” here. (”Dustland Fairytale” which they sang on letterman is on that one).

*Who’s bringing The Killers to Cape Town anyway? Do backstage passes exist anymore?

Jesus.

It’s that time of the month again.. as we remove the best of the rubbish you send me which gathers dust on my desktop, and release it onto the United Internet.

We’ll kick off with this genius, sent in by Trev:

Wrong way, my love.

Then this absolute gem, spotted by Phillip, somewhere in the United Kingdom of America.

Whoever did this is displaying
dangerous levels of genius..

Then we see that Woolies have joined the trend (spotted last time at Spar (here )) and are now selling their own version of the food taking Cape Town by storm.

Wonder if it tastes similar to the “ass rolls” at Spar?
[thanks chris]

Spotted at Peace River Trading:

10/10
[thanks dave]

That’s not Chris Dales, is it?
Willeen, please ask Anton if he knows.

[thanks nick]

Very unfortunate – from the Free State, no less.

Quite heavy?
[thanks martin]

I spoke too soon..

Who ARE you trying to be?
That’s not YOU, is it, Furter?
[thanks shaun]

Forries spelling fail:

Anyone can make a spelling mistake
Making them on printed umbrellas…not so good
[thanks kirsten]

Bigger spelling fail:

It’s true – everything could very easily
turn into sausages
[thanks warren]

Spell it how you say it:

Say that out loud and it will make sense
[thanks griff]

And there you have it! Another wildly successful installment of DESKTOP CLEANUP!!

Until next time.

Yo Shorty!

Whatya gonna do?

*Sorry, but I’ve had those Danny K lyrics in my head the whole day. Ever since we started laughing about them at lunch yesterday.

After kidnapping her 18 years ago, Phillip Garrido kept Jaycee Dugard in his backyard and fathered two children with her. Garrido is a convicted sex offender and suddenly, out of the blue, walked into a California police station with the victim by his side. He told authorities that God had spoken to him. Obviously.

This, ladies and gents, is what a pedophile looks like:

This, from Daily Mail:

A girl who was kidnapped on her way to school 18 years ago has been found alive and well.

Jaycee Lee Dugard, 29, told police in California she had been held prisoner by a known sex offender and his wife. Rapist Phillip Garrido, 58, fathered two daughters with her, one when she was just 14 and the second four years later.

Local police chief Fred Kollar said she and the children were forced to live in sheds and tents hidden in the Garridos’ back garden. They were born on the property and had never been to school or seen a doctor.

 

Jaycee Dugard before her abduction (left) and a
police mock-up four years ago of how
she might look as an adult (right)

 

Sheriff Kollar said: ‘Our search revealed a hidden backyard within a backyard. It had sheds, tents and outbuildings.’ He said Miss Dugard and her daughters lived in two sheds, both about 10ft by 10ft. One was soundproofed and could only be opened from the outside. Power was provided by leads from the house’s electricity supply. They also had two small tents and a ‘ rudimentary’ shower and toilet. The secret backyard was hidden from neighbours by a 6ft fence and tall trees. Garrido got in and out through a tarpaulin covering the entrance.

Sheriff Kollar said: ‘Jaycee was in good health. But living in a backyard for 18 years does take its toll.’

The grey car used in the June 1991 abduction was also found hidden in the garden.

 

Jaycee and her two children were forced to live in sheds
and tents at the back of Garrido’s house.

 

The revelations have shocking parallels with the case of Austrian Josef Fritzl, who fathered seven children with the daughter he kept prisoner in a cellar at his home.

Last night Miss Dugard had an emotional reunion with her mother Terry, who had been shocked and ‘overjoyed’ to learn she was still alive.

Neighbours of the Garridos in the town of Antioch, near San Francisco, said their house had barred windows and Garrido conducted bizarre religious ceremonies in a tent in the garden.

He has been charged with kidnapping, conspiracy, rape and committing lewd acts with a minor. His wife Nancy, 55, was charged with kidnapping and conspiracy.

Freedom for Miss Dugard, who her captors had renamed Allissa, came after Garrido aroused the suspicions of guards as he tried to give out religious leaflets to students on the Berkeley campus of the University of California.

A campus policeman checked Garrido’s record and discovered he was a listed sex offender and on parole after serving a jail sentence for a vicious rape and kidnapping in Nevada. in 1971.

State police were called and ordered Garrido to check in at his parole office. He arrived there with his wife, Allissa and the two children.

The parole officer was immediately suspicious as he had never seen the younger woman and the two girls on visits to Garrido’s home.

He called police who began questioning Allissa and discovered she was really Miss Dugard.

[read more here]

Read the rest of that story and once you’ve thrown up, you’ll be interested to learn that this chap had his own blog. Oh yes, you heard me. Not only that, he was also a religious fanatic. Here’s a quote from his blog : “”the Creator has given me the ability to speak in the tongue of angels in order to provide a wake-up call that will in time include the salvation of the entire world.” (check out more here ).

This guy is absolutely cooked and reckons that once the police hear about the WHOLE story, they’ll find it quite heartwarming.

No spice. Check this out from The Times (UK) : “What’s kept me busy the last several years is I’ve completely turned my life around,” Mr Garrido said. “And you’re going to find the most powerful story coming from the witness, the victim – you wait. If you take this a step at a time, you’re going to fall over backwards and in the end, you’re going to find the most powerful heart-warming story.”

Ja, look, there’s not much we can do with these types. I’m just amazed at this latest trend (a la Josef Fritzl) of pedophiles and psychopaths suddenly being found with weird compounds at their houses and kids under the floorboards. They just keep popping up every couple of months.

“Ok, I’ve got one!!”

It’s like each one gets jealous of the next and wants to show off.

It’s the interview everyone has been waiting for. Springbok captain, John Smit and his merry band of legends have arrived safely in the Netherworld, as they begin their overseas leg of the Tri-Nations tournament.

John Smit – killing it
[gettyimages]

“Blades,” who takes care of the 2oceansvibe Weekly Sports Roudup & TV Times, caught up with the World Champion captain, following the last test.

[Make sure you've got sound up, as phone quality was pretty average]

*Wait for box to load above this line and wait for play button to appear. Press play, then pause and let video load up before playing through without hiccups.

This weekend’s important sports TV Times after the jump:

Read the rest of this entry »

A Microsoft ad published in Poland is causing a bit of a nightmare for the company. You see, the same ad was being used in the US, except the one in the US featured a black gentleman in the middle.

He was removed for the Polish version.

Enjoy these very average Photoshop skills:

Now you see him
Now you don’t

You can see the exact original US page here. The Polish version has now been changed to show the same image as the US one above, so we don’t need to show you that link.

So now, by quietly trying to conceal a man’s race, Microsoft has inadvertently made race an issue. Shame, and he seemed so happy to be there!

Microsoft has apologised (here)

I don’t think it’s a big deal – it probably just filled the Polish profile better. They’re probably not as anal about “representing the full spectrum” as they are in the US (let alone here in SA *yawn*). I very much doubt it was a BLACK “thing.”

I think they should be glad they kept the Asian fellow in, mind you.

Here at 2oceansvibe we don’t take any chances. Virtually all of our staff are black, Asian, Jewish, handicapped female midget cyclists.

Twas earlier this year I showed you some wonderful images (here) of the hairdresser in the Woodstock region of Cape Town, claiming to be masters at the Obama Haircut. You may recall their tagline, “Looking neat is our target. Change your look? Yes we can!”

You remember it now, right? If you don’t it seems you are missing out on some pearlers and I strongly urge you to visit the archives (scroll down the left menu – they’re there).

In the meantime, for the informed, you’ll be over the moon to learn that they (the Woodstock Obama haircut specialists) have just released their first TV ad. Well, online TV ad. A web video ad. It’s pretty sick – check it out:

*Wait for box to load above this line and wait for play button to appear. Press play, then pause and let video load up before playing through without hiccups.

How cool was that?

V cool.

It’s weird though, a lot of people seem to be talking about hairdressers these days.

Don’t you find?

[thanks craig]

THAT just happened!

It’s name is Carla Velli and it is an Italian actress.

That pic was taken this last week in Miami. There are more pics – some of them ever so slightly NSFW. But that’s up to you whether you want to see them or not. I don’t know – maybe topless bathing isn’t your scene..

Right, so you saw Crank and enjoyed it… well done. To say Crank had a lot of heart is an understatement. The public display of affection, the pulsating action, the heart-stopping moments and the heartbeat bass were incredible and Jason Statham wasn’t too bad either.

The original had the action reflex of a kung-fu squirrel on Red Bull and the comic agility of a David Spade stand-up routine in a maximum security prison. It was no-punches-pulled Statham with the ultimate high-octane, adrenaline-pumping action movie plot, but that was way back in 2006…

Catch the rest of the review and the trailer after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

There are conflicting weather reports out there, including the one right here on 2oceansvibe. Believe what you want – personally, I take whatever shows the highest temperatures. That’s just how I roll – extremeness at all times.

I found this on my iPhone using a stunning piece of software called WeatherPro.

27 degrees on Friday
Deal with it

See what it says there. 27 degrees on Friday, my love. That’s a summer time reading. Now, I don’t want to jump the gun or anything, but I think we may just be nearing the promised land. And that’s from a piece of software called Weather PRO. If you ask me, that sounds like something “professionals” would use.

But there’s more. The Dan Nicholl owned iAfrica, agrees, somewhat:

Bring it on, says iAfrica..

That’s one report of 27 and one of 26 degrees in the last 10 seconds. Who are you going to believe? These two? Or some boring negative weather forecast which wants to beat you down with bad news and low 20’s?

Exactly.

Better yet, check out what temperature yesterday’s Argus gave us for Friday:

It’s 121 on Friday!!!
Now we’re talking!

Now THAT’S the kind of positive thinking I’m talking about! 121 degrees! I’ll take it!

The streets will turn to lava! What more do you want?!

Summer is coming baby!!!

[thanks daren, thanks david]

One of the country’s most celebrated acoustic rock bands, PLUSH, have embarked on a brief nationwide tour, which ends at The Assembly in Cape Town on Saturday the 29th.

And I’ve got tickets for you too!

Saturday 22 August 2009
Pecanwood Howick
KZN
Doors 14:00
First bands at 16:00
R 75 presale through computicket
R 100 at the door
Free camping included

[whoops - missed that one]

Tuesday 25 August 2009
Tanz Café
Bryanston
Johannesburg
20:00
R 60 presale/R 80 Door
011 4633128 to book

Wednesday 26 August 2009
Tanz Café
Bryanston
Johannesburg
20:00
R 60 presale/R 80 Door
011 4633128 to book

Thursday 27 August 2009
Klein Libertas Theatre
Du Toit Street
Stellenbosch
21:00
R 30

Saturday 29 August 2009
The Assembly
Harrington Street
Cape Town
Doors at 21:00
With ‘The Rescue’
R 50 (inclusive of charges) presale from http://www.webtickets.co.za/assembly/
R 50 door

5 free tickets to the 10th person who
emails editor@2oceansvibe.com
and tells me which of Plush’s past albums
featured Goldfish’s Dom Peters on the album..

GO!

AWESOME footage was sent to me of The TBG donating the 3,267th pair of jeans to the Levi’s “Get Rid of Your Jeans For Good ” Campaign!

The TBG caught dropping off jeans at the Waterfront

I think it’s fair to say that if The TBG (who spends most of his time healing the world, as it is) can find time and a pair of jeans to drop off at the nearest Levi’s store, so can you!

Come on, people, get involved!

And remember, they will pay you up to R200 for the jeans, let alone the good karma which will be bestowed upon you!

Go! Go! Go!

These things REALLY tweaked me when I first saw them. I used to have an extensive cassette music collection (far more than Jonty Fisher) and I couldn’t think of anything cooler to protect my iPod Nano. That’s obviously if I had an iPod Nano.

But that’s not the point.

The point is this:

“What’s this?” you ask..

It’s the reincarnation of the word “rad.”

Let’s get in there:

The 45 Nano Cases for the 4th generation iPod Nano. Designed by Contexture Design, a creative duo based in Vancouver, Canada. They’re made from old cassette tapes and are gutted, routered and rebuilt to fit your 4th generation iPod Nano.”

See what they did there?

Amazing that are people out there even cooler than you.

The mind boggles.

Check out the range (some classics, like the old “maxell” tapes) and order your own here.

[thanks scott]

I don’t need to write much about this one. It kind of sells itself.

In a nutshell…..Michael poked Tracy.

[thanks paul]

It goes without saying that Kanye West’s old lady is an American model and former exotic dancer, born in the early eighties. Amber Rose is the daughter of an Italian-American father and Cape Verdian mother. That will explain her unique complexion and vibe in general.

Let’s see how the rest came out.

Click pic for (barely) NSFW image.

CLICK HERE for NSFW image

I thought that worked out just fine, don’t you?

Ja, look, I think we’re good to go!

Thanks Amber.

In closing, Wikipedia tells us that Rose is known for her distinctive appearance, specifically her buzz cut hairstyle (another stunning example here), which she bleaches blonde. Rose claims that her head is the only area of her body where she does not completely remove hair.

She is open about her bisexuality and says she enjoys relationships with both men and women, although not simultaneously.

Wonderful. I feel far more informed than before I wrote this article.

Now why would you NOT want to be at the Cosmo lingerie show? Have you picked up the latest copy of Cosmopolitan? God, it’s glorious! It features so many ex-2oceansvibe Weathergirls and 2oceansvibe friends, it’s actually a joke. From Tracy McGregor and Lyndall Jarvis to Tammy-Ann Fortuin, Rouxmia Bougas, Genevieve Morten (sizzzzling) and Lisa Cowley (killer).

You can check out some of those shoots on the Cosmo Lingerie website. (Get started on Gen’s shoot she did for Stuttafords).

That’s a 2oceansvibe Weather Girl right there

The angels out there will probably enjoy this issue as well! I did laugh at the one section which delt with guys and their “secret code” – explaining such phrases as “got your back.” hysterical!

Now, Thursday night brings us the much anticipated annual Cosmopolitan Lingerie Show in Cape Town. Everyone will be there, darling, and I think that you should be there too. That’s why I twisted Vanessa Raphaely’s rubber arm for 8 tickets (4 pairs of tickets) for YOU, the lucky 2oceansvibe readers.

So, if you want to WIN TICKETS, email editor@2oceansvibe.comand tell me the name of the 2oceansvibe Weathergirl on the cover of the latest Cosmopolitan (small visual clue above).

********Competition IS CLOSED********

UPDATE

Winners are Julie Hill, David Pickup, Allan Boyle and Robbie Stammers.

Congratulations gang.

Sorry to those of you that didn’t crack it. Don’t fret – there will be more..

Look, this has got absolutely nothing to do with District 9, other than the fact that it involves an alien.

E.T. to be exact.

It’s an old pic of me as a kid which I’ve been toying with for, like, an eternity. I didn’t know what to do with it, but I realised it had to find its way onto 2oceansvibe. I just knew you had to see it, especially the girls out there, because I look so goddamn gorgeous with my golden curls.

Finally, with the arrival of District 9, I found an obscure topic to connect it to.

Chew on this for a bit.

E.T. and Seth
Too precious for words

So ja, I guess you can say that the aliens have accepted me.

And to the girls out there – looking at that pic you’re probably thinking things like “how adorable” and that kind of rubbish. Well let me tell you right now for a FACT, I would have HAD you….right there and then. I know this because I have first hand knowledge of what was going through my head at the time.

And it was you.

Naked.

Dancing in front of me with half a bottle of vodka in your hand and a joint in your mouth.

As Tanita Tikaram’s “Twist in my Sobriety“ played in the background (click that – picture it).

Right, ok, did anyone check out the Cape Times front page this morning? If so, there may be more to it than you thought.

Standard stuff?
Just you wait..

As expected, it featured the ongoing gender-bender saga of South African female athlete, Caster Semenya. Bless her and all that, but did you read the print carefully? I’m referring, of course, to the little bit highlighted in green above.

Let me (Jacob) zoom in for you:

Isn’t it simply STUNNING that an article discussing gender confusion, pushes the envelope and prints the ANC Youth League leader’s name as JULIA Malema, instead of JULIUS Malema??!!

Oh my God, this is awesome. Seriously, this is like eating chocolate for me.

I’d love to believe that it was planned and the journalist knew what he did there and how ironic the mistake was…. but I think you’ll find that it was just that – a mistake.

A fucking stunning mistake!

[thanks frans]

Do you know about Mpho Gift Ngoepe ? Gift is a black Sotho tribesman from South Africa who literally grew up in a South African club baseball team’s clubhouse (his mother was/is their caretaker) and made his way to America. He has also just been featured in the US Sports Illustrated.

This, my friends, is a great story.

Mpho Gift Ngoepe

This, from the latest US Sports Illustrated:

A GIFT FROM AFRICA

Word came down from above: Make the kid feel at home. Sure, said the clubbie … but the clubbie always said sure. He bled Bucco black-and-gold, Pat Hagerty’s superiors raved in reviews of his work as the Pirates’ minor league clubhouse and equipment manager. He was master of a million chores, the guy who kept the radar guns juiced, the resin bags dry, the coaches’ coffee hot, the lint out of the players’ jocks and the alligators out of the pond at the team’s complex in Bradenton, Fla. • But then he paused and pondered: How the hell does a white-haired 48-year-old Irish Catholic clubbie from Steubenville, Ohio, make an 18-year-old Sotho tribesman from Africa feel at home?

THE TRIBESMAN WALKED INTO PIRATE CITY WEARING A THICK BUSH OF BLACK HAIR AND A HOODIE STUDDED WITH STARS. NO, HE DIDN’T WALK. HE HOPPED, HE SKIPPED; SOMETIMES HE DANCED. HE COULD OUTLEAP, OUT-ULULATE AND OUTLAST ALL THE OTHER SOTHO IN THE DAWN-TO-DARK DANCING CEREMONIES AROUND THEIR ANCESTORS’ TOMBSTONES BACK HOME.

His head swiveled, absorbing all the dorm rooms, all the emerald fields, all the bats, all the balls; more more than he had witnessed in his life. He headed toward the clubhouse, chafing to bust out his blue-and-red glove and get cracking on his dream of becoming the first African ever to play major league baseball.

The clubbie exited the laundry room that morning last October. What language, he wondered, would a black South African speak? Even if they could communicate, what would a Pat Hagerty and a Mpho Ngoepe have to talk about?

The kid extended his hand and flashed a glittering smile. “Hello, sir!” he sang out to the clubbie. “My name is Gift!”

Gift. That was a relief. So much easier than that mouthful, mm-POH nn-WEE-pay. Gift spoke English. That was double relief. The teenager’s accent, singsong inflections and machine-gun delivery might be a challenge, but at least Pat wouldn’t have to decipher the kid’s four other tongues—two dialects of Sotho, some Zulu and Afrikaans—or play charades.

The clubbie escorted the kid down a hallway, past the framed photos of the Bucs gods, Pat’s idols as a boy in Steubenville. Nope, Gift had never heard of Maz or Pops or even the Great One, Clemente; hell, he’d barely heard of the Pittsburgh Pirates before they offered him a minor league contract and a $15,000 signing bonus last August. Pat introduced him around, showed him where to chuck his dirty stuff and how a Pirate’s locker should be organized, but his big challenge was keeping the kid corralled. Gift seized every bat he saw and swung it, fondled and flipped every ball; nope, sorry, the clubbie kept telling Gift, he could only get his physical today and learn the lay of the land.

The teenager peered at his competition: big boys, muscled from years in high school and college weight rooms, fresh from a decade of year-round AAU programs or seven-hour days on Dominican diamonds. Gift stood 5′8″, weighed 178 pounds. Most of the mottled fields he’d played on were meant for rugby or cricket. His high school hadn’t even had a baseball team.

He drifted through the Pirate City clubhouse, staring at the 225 lockers for players, the 70 for coaches, the nine for umpires and the 10 for Pat and his assistants. The kid entered the laundry room, studied the four big washing machines whirling suds, the three massive dryers … and began bantering with the clubbie and his assistants as if they’d sat in the same Soweto barber shop all their lives.

Funny. They kept waiting for him to retire to his dorm room to revel in the 999-channel TV or join the other players in the rec room playing Ping-Pong, pool and video games. But each time Gift departed—for his physical, his lunch, his dinner—he bounced right back to the clubhouse and Pat. When the dryers finally fell silent that evening, the clubbie saw something he’d never seen, not in 15 years of working with American, Latin American, Canadian, Japanese, European, Australian and Korean professional ballplayers.

[CLICK HERE to continue reading - it gets better and better, believe me]

I’ve read the whole article and all I can say is I’ve got goose bumps all over. Well done, dude – that is quite something.

I do hope everyone out there clicks that link and keeps reading because this kid is something else. From a baseball club (of all sports) in Randburg, to the land of free, this is prescribed reading.

“By age 10, if he played poorly or incurred someone’s anger, he would climb onto a trash can and scramble onto the clubhouse roof, lie down and stare at the stars. When he saw a shooting star he’d make a wish, always the same one: to make a life of the foreign game he loved, the one he’d set his alarm at 2 a.m. to watch on cable television, beamed all the way from the States. To play major league ball.”

“Major league scouts at the 2008 academy began querying Barry about his South African protégé. The second week, Gift was summoned to the office and handed a telephone. Two Pirates officials on the other end told him they liked his glove, his fluid swing, his energy. Yes, he was raw, but they wanted to sign him and see him become the first African in MLB history.”

Read the full Sports Illustrated article here.

Do a little Google search on him as well “Mpho Gift Ngoepe” – he’s got quite a following. I found an awesome blog entry here.

[thanks jase]