2oceans Vibe

Those of you who have come across the wonders of Google may will be aware of the pain I feel when someone asks a question which Google can very easily answer. I don’t know if some people believe that Google only specialises in one field… maybe they used Google once, but that was to find out about a new style of Puma shoe. And perhaps now they think that Google specialises in shoes and nothing else? Is that the reason why you don’t want to ask Google how to make sushi at home?

So instead you ask me.

And do you know what I do? I go to Google.

A while back I told you about a wonderful website called www.justfuckinggoogleit.com which was a great site to send your buddies to if they felt the overwhelming urge to ask you something, instead of simply using Google.

Now there is a FAB new website following hot on the heels of JustFuckingGoogleIt which takes things to the net level. It’s called Let Me Google That For YOU (www.letmegooglethatforyou.com) and allows you to setup a special URL which you give to your friend (after he/she asks the stupid question) and hopefully they will learn how much easier there lives can be (and far less painful for you) – as we all continue to live the holiday.

It looks like this:

So you type in your friend’s question into the Google search box (as above) and you click search.

Then it gives you a special tailor made link, which you copy and send to your friend:

See the link there (at the bottom in blue)?

So I copied that link and am now pasting it here, for you to see how the system works, once you send that link to your friends. You’ll love it.

So you say something like, Hey I found the perfect way to make sushi at home. I think this is what you’re looking for – just follow this amazing link - http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+to+make+sushi+at+home

Follow that link to see what they get.

Pretty cool, hey?

[thanks darren]

Oh God, I love it too much! It just gets better and better until, by the end, you just want the whole email inside you.

It’s TOO good!

[thanks nicholas]

I received a stunning little tipoff from one Justin, giving me the heads up on the Cape Town portion of Google Earth. I hadn’t yet installed Google Earth onto my new MacBook Pro (courtesy of Digicape – the anti-iStore) so I did that in about 1 minute flat (download Google Earth here) and “booted” it up.

Justin had told me to check out what it says in the special Wikipedia information icon for the “Liesbeek River.” I “flew” directly to Cape Town and zoomed a bit towards the area.

Ah! There she is!

So I clicked on the little Wikipedia “W” information symbol for Liesbeek River and got this. Please enjoy the final paragraph..

Hey? It’s too brilliant to behold!

You.just.can’t.put a price on that kind of humour..

Rachel Uchitel
..may or may not be boning Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods Crashes Car During Alleged Affair – Those of you with your fingers firmly on le pulse will be aware that rumours of an affair between Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel (above – hotter than his current wife, Elin Nordegren), have been circulating. Things have gone to the next level as Tiger crashed his car into a tree outside his house at 2am. He is apparently injured (from the accident? OR his wife? Very spicy. Get involved. [huffington]

Susan Boyle Breaks Down During US Tour, Sucks Thumb – Her debut album is the biggest advanced seller in US history and perhaps it’s all getting a bit much for Subo. As she was seen during a lunch, trembling, sucking her thumb and sobbing. Shame. [dailymail]

Pulp Fiction Screenwriter Tweets From Jail, Ends Up Re-Imprisoned – Jailhouse tweets: harrowing, educational, and a bad idea if you’re dodging the terms of your sentence. In the midst of his prison term for a fatal DUI, Roger Avary blew the whistle on his own short-lived accidental freedom via Twitter. [defamer]

Motorhomeless Blogger Needs Help – “SA-positive” blogger Fred Hatman is organising a mad 1,700km unicycle ride from Durban to Cape Town to raise awareness of landmines. The Heart & Sole Tour needs a back-up vehicle so, if you have a four-berth motorhome to lend him, put your hand up! [fredhatman]

“New Moon” sends sales of pale foundation soaring – The classic Saint-Tropez tan is being shunned in favour of a more sinister trend. A deathly pale complexion – achieved with the help of powders or foundation – is the new ideal, as women take inspiration from the vampire film New Moon. [dailymail]

Imibala Announces Somerset West Street Party on 9 December – All profits from the daygoing towards the ‘sponsor-a-child’ charity concerning children in the Helderberg area. With only R700 required to sponsor a child for a year, every little bit really does count. Contact and venue details available online. [imibala]

Jake Gyllenhaal And Reese Witherspoon Call It Quits – Oh my God, I don’t believe it! That’s so weird that the couple that I least care about in Hollywood are actually OVER?! No ways! What’s next? [people]

Metal-detector enthusiast Terry Herbert unearths $5.5 million in gold – The largest haul of Anglo-Saxon gold ever discovered, unearthed by a metal-detector enthusiast in a farmer’s field, has been valued at 3.28 million pounds ($5.5 million) by a committee of experts. Under Treasure Trove laws, the money will be split between the finder, Herbert, and the landowner. [nydailynews]

[thanks paul]

They’ve come in from all over and well done to the peeps that took them. Whilst there certainly were many duplicates in my inbox, the following images are made of pics I received sent in from three different sources.

Please enjoy these pics (there are more, make sure you see them all by following the links below) of the Cape Town Green Point Stadium – COMPLETED BABY!

She a pretty little thing, isn’t she?

* Click pics to enlarge, then check out slideshow below.

Oh yes! I like that!

Small increase in surrounding area’s land value..

Well done, guys – you’ve done a bloody good job!

And well done to McDonalds for positioning themselves many years ago, just 12 centimeters from the outside wall of the stadium!

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL THE PICS AND SLIDESHOW – DO IT – TRUST ME!

[thanks dave, oli and gareth]

So the Boks are taking on Ireland at Croke Park. If we lose on Saturday – of course, I hope we don’t – but if we do, I would like to take this opportunity to prepare all South Africans for the next wave of entertaining Sunday morning headlines, right out of the top drawer. I can see it now, ‘Boks Croke against Ireland!’ Or, ‘The Boks get a Paddywhack!’

Ruler can't measure Jean's impact

The trouble is, those pretty much only work at the expense of Ireland. South Africa isn’t really a funny nation. Hang on, I just thought of another one, ‘Div, the latest Irish Joke!’ As I was saying, us Safas don’t seem to be a ha-ha nation. (Or a LOL nation for the Facetweet community.) All other countries out there have a harmless chapter in their history, which reporters with funny hats and very small notebooks can poke fun at for our reading pleasure. Just not us, I don’t get it?

Read the rest of article, plus TV times after the jump

Continue Reading

If you go to Google and search for “Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut,” you’ll see at the number 1 position is the article I wrote a couple weeks back, telling you about that exact product becoming 2oceansvibe’s choice brand of bubbly!

CLICK HERE to see that original 2oceansvibe article

That was obviously a prelude to the official launch of the new Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut which, naturally, took place at my official residence – The Cape Royale Hotel – at the Sky Bar, no less!

And what a night it was!

Click pics to enlarge:

Good times..

Winemaker Lizelle Gerber and Seth Rotherham as MC (baking!)

There she is!

Miss Universe and three other guys
Hey, that’s Pascal and Jeremy on the right!

Are we human?

And so it goes on. There were tons more stunning pics which I’ve consolidated into a handy slideshow for you!

To find out more about the night (which included none other than 2oceansvibe Character “The Personal Jukebox,” Sox, spinning the tunes) check out the Boschendal blog about the event HERE.

Thanks to Boschendal and the Luxury Brands team (esp. Jeremy, Heidi, Kirsten, Taryn and Danny) for a stunning evening! Cape Royale… it goes without saying..

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE SLIDESHOW!

As the regulars will all know, ex-Springbok captain, Bob Skinstad, is a 2oceansvibe Character who goes by the name of “The Character Formerly Known as The Loose Forward.” That said, we vouch for him and everything he does. Or, more to the point of this article, what he is doing.

What is he doing, you ask? I’ll tell you what he’s doing. Together with his partners, Ronnie Rutland and Dougie Boyes, they’ve launched something called “Bobs For Good.”

www.bobsforgood.com

Huh?

Let me explain… “bobs” are the shoes they are selling and WAIT till you see what they mean by the “for good” part of the name. Check this out, from Bob Skinstad : “For every pair of quality, South African manufactured bobsforgood shoes you buy, we’ll make and give a pair of brand new school shoes to a child in need. Bobsforgood is all about giving African school children hope, pride and dignity.”

Pretty rad, hey?

Enjoy this – the other day The Muse mistook my pair of bobs for the new Sebago slip-ons I got in the States! For those who don’t know the Sebago brand, we’re talking about a premium slip on boat shoe here – top-end stuff. Hows that? No spice! That’s how good the quality is! And trust me, it’s not easy to pull the cashmere wool over The Muse’s eyes! The shoes are gorgeous – mine are slip-ons and they’re a beautiful brown suede.

COMPETITION TIME!

Enjoy this: every pair of shoes bought by 2oceansvibe readers between now and Christmas, will automatically put you into a draw to WIN a dinner for 2 with chief shoe-giver Bob Skinstad at Bob’s restaurant “The Toad in the Village” in Noordhoek.
Plus, because you MAY WELL have a few toots, they’re throwing a night for 2 at the the De Noordheok hotel (right next door, thank God)!

All you have to do is log on to www.bobsforgood.com and purchase your quality pair of BOBS for R599 and you will get free delivery in South Africa until Xmas.

Don’t forget that this prize is OVER AND ABOVE the fact that a pair of school shoes will be going to a child in need. That goes without saying every time you buy a pair of bobs!

It’s no surprise that the ass flavoured food craze has entered the beverage market, what with the success of the likes of Spar’s ass rolls and Woolworths’s quiche ass.

Although, to be honest, I didn’t imagine the rare niche flavour to enter the highly competitive HOT beverage market!

Going head to head with coffee it seems! This, spotted at Durban’s Kloof Pick n Pay..

ASS Hot Drinks – available at the Kloof (Durban) Pick n Pay

Taking on the well established coffee drinking sector of the market was bold enough, but isn’t it rather bullish to charge MORE for ass than what people are paying for coffee?

I suppose it’s fine, if I’m getting enough ass for my buck?

[thanks michael]

Rabbi Chalomish – your host at the “Synagogue of Sin”

Millionaire Rabbi Convicted of Cocaine Possession – A multi-millionaire rabbi who took part in cocaine parties with prostitutes in a flat nicknamed the “synagogue of sin” has been convicted of possessing drugs. Baruch Chalomish, 54, dipped into his £7 million fortune from property deals to fuel his £1,000-per-week habit with “the best cocaine in town”, a court heard. So awesome.. [telegraph]

Spectator Exclusive: The Mandelson and Gaddafi shooting party – “A shoot took place at Lord Rothschild’s famous French chateau in Buckinghamshire. As well as Lord Rothschild the unofficial deputy prime minister, Lord Mandelson, was there, and Tony Blair’s wife, Cherie. The keenest shot of the day was Saif Al-Islam Gaddafi, son of the Libyan dictator, and the man who escorted the Lockerbie bomber, Al Megrahi, home to a hero’s welcome in Libya in August.” [spectator]

Forgive Me Father, For I Have Fiddled With Little Boys – The leader of the Catholic Church in Ireland has said he is deeply sorry and ashamed about the widespread sexual abuse of children by priests. Really? Are you? Cardinal Sean Brady also apologised for the way the Church covered up the abuse, which happened in Dublin. [bbc]

Dubai Panic Sweeps Markets – I coined a phrase many years a go which says, “What goes up, must come down.” Global financial markets swooned Thursday, with London seeing its most precipitous drop in nearly nine months, a day after Dubai stunned investors with the news that it was asking banks to allow its main investment vehicle, Dubai World, to suspend its debt repayments for six months. [nytimes]

Google under fire after refusing to remove racist image of Michelle Obama – Google was at the centre of a race row last night over a crudely-doctored photo of Michelle Obama. The image, altered to show Mrs Obama with ape-like features, appeared at the top of hundreds of results when web users searched for images of the First Lady. [dailymail]

The Seven Foot Model – They’re calling her “Babezilla” and she is the world’s tallest model. “Amazon Eve” is 32 years old and she has recently indulged in a photo shoot for Zoo Magazine. I can confirm that she is very much in proportion and you’ll be pleasantly surprised! [zooweekly]

Disney Introduces First Black Princess: Tiana – Well I’m glad they avoided the name ‘Snow Black.’ The actual story in which she features is called “The Princess and The Frog” (good one). I remember when I was a frog – before that model jumped my stick and turned me into the prince I am (turns to mirror, wipes hand through hair). [washingtonpost]

Basketball’s Shaquille O’Neal pays for North Carolina girl’s funeral – Professional basketball star Shaquille O’Neal paid for the funeral of a 5-year-old North Carolina girl whose body was found last week, O’Neal’s team confirmed Thursday. [cnn]

‘Godfather of spam’ jailed for four years – An internet fraudster who dubbed himself the “Godfather of spam” has been jailed for more than four years over a conspiracy that involved sending billions of illegal email advertisements a day. This reminds me of one of my lesser known phrases that I made up – “What goes around, comes around” [telegraph]

McLaren F1 LM model even Lewis Hamilton would desire – Think of an incentive that could push Lewis Hamilton to keep up his winning stride. If you could think of an incentive worth $4 million, you have to think of the McLaren F1 LM, being promised by McLaren CEO Ron Dennis for winning two Formula One World Championship titles. [bornrich]

Previously Unseen Anthony Fox Surf Pics – Cape Town surfer turned surf photographer, Anthony Fox, exploded onto the scene only a few months ago. It wasn’t long before one of his shots (not shy of getting in the big wave stuff – jet skis etc.) was plastered all over the front page of the Cape Times. Fox’s pics are currently on display (for purchase) at the Exposure Gallery in the Old Biscuit Mill. [exposure]

Best Dressed Of The Week – 27/11/2009 – In New York, Natalie Portman has been stepping out in good fashion form this week – impressing us in Jason Wu and Vena Cava – while Alexa Chung was flying the British flag in a Topshop dress on the red carpet. Whilst in the UK, Kate Moss reminded us why we love ballet flats at the PlayStation 3 party. [vogue]

David Grier is Doing it Again! Somebody Stop This Man! – Not content with being the only man to run the Great Wall of China non-stop (4,000km’s), our boy is now paddling from Africa to Madagascar, then running from the entire island from South to North (3,000km’s). But then how will he get back? Kitesurfing…obviously [milesforsmiles]

“Me and Mr. Brown” Goes Digital – One of Cape Town’s most cherished live cover bands, “Me and Mr. Brown,” has finally joined the world wide web and set up a one-stop shop for anyone wanting to book them, listen to their stuff, or just gaze into the duo’s eyes. [meandmrbrown]

FREE Vouchers For Tomorrow’s R1billion SuperEna Lottery! – Tomorrow’s SuperEna lottery is sporting a rollover jackpot of $139million, which is just over a billion Rand! 2oceansvibe will be giving away one triple-ticket voucher every five minutes for ONE HOUR today from 10am on Twitter. If you get it first and use it first, then it’s yours. If it doesn’t work, you’re too late! [2OV Twitter]

This aricle has been brewing for some time and may have been touched on before. I remember some time ago I gave my ten cents with regards to phone calls that come in from Private Numbers – you can read about those here and here. the majority of you agreed.

Today’s discussion (the comments section is all yours) has to do with phone calls vs SMS – particularly on weekends. A concept which will more than likely be covered in my book.

I don’t like talking on the phone and, believe it or not, neither do a lot of people. Personally, I’m either writing (stories/emails/sms’s, with music on in the background) or eating or hanging with friends or chilling out or attending an event or making love to a beautiful woman. I’m hardly ever doing anything else. Now why would I want to interrupt any of those things by talking on the phone? Doing nothing (chilling) is an actual activity these days. It is one of the joys of living the holiday. If you’re phoning me every time I’m chilling, then I’m not chilling – I’m talking to you.

And if you find out I’m doing “nothing” on the beach or at home, why does this mean that I must welcome a phone call from you? Then I won’t be doing “nothing” anymore. Or maybe I am fine with a chat on the phone – but at least give me the option?

1 – Change your message, Live the holiday

Before I get into that, I want to support this argument by highlighting the fact and congratulating those who have changed their voicemail message on their cellphones to announce that the caller would be better off sending a sms than leaving a message (as per my previous tips for a better life). My one buddy has gone even further, proclaiming, “Hi, sorry I couldn’t answer your call. Please send me an sms and let me know what’s up. But please, don’t leave a voice message because it has been turned off and I won’t get it, thanks.”

He’s probably telling a fib about the voicemail being completely disabled but that’s besides the point – the person at the other end has no option but to sms. Personally, I have a message that encourages people to sms or email. That way I can’t forget to get back to them.

This culture and system suits both the very busy and those who are trying to live the holiday. Whichever one it is, it really is their perogative.

2 – Go on, send a SMS!

So tell me, what is so difficult about sending an sms? A lot of people respond to that question with, “oh it didn’t suit me.” So then why exactly did you assume it suited me?

Unless you have large amounts of money to give me or your house is burning down or you have an urgent answer or message I’m expecting that pertains to something I/we are doing or about to do or you are coming for a pre-planned braai and you’re on the road, lost, looking for urgent directions – what is so hard about typing a few words down? Or if you really cannot put it into written words, how about sending a text asking the question, “Can you chat?”

Why can’t you do that? And please don’t tell me you don’t know how or your phone has a bad sms system. In a very nice way, that has absolutely nothing to do with me. Just as people stopped arriving at each others houses uninvited, following the invention of the telephone, so too should things change with the advent of text messaging.

Convenient, quiet, polite

Even better are the people who call back after I sms a question. If I sms you a question, I clearly can’t talk! There is absolutely no need to switch to guns. Or, more than likely, I am not expecting the answer right now. That is the nature of sms – I have time. I will wait until the reply suits and is convenient for you. If I need the answer fairly swiftly, I trust that you will have the intelligence to gauge this and respond timeously – if possible. If you are quick to get back to me, I’ll probably ensure you get the same treatment from me.

3 – Don’t worry, I’ll leave a message!

Voicemail on cellphones came along before text messages. We were used to voicemail because, before cellphones, we had answering machines at home. Why did people get answer machines at home? I’ll tell you why – because they didn’t have cellphones and they didn’t have text messaging. They checked their answering machines to see who called them while they were out. And then what did they start doing with the answer machines? Exactly – they began screening calls. The randomness became too much for them. Which is exactly why we don’t answer private numbers.

And so cellphones were invented and they came with voicemail. Very handy. But then came text messages, which, instead of being used as a progressive solution, is seen as an alternate exception. Why would you not want to move forward? Society is changing, my friends – deal with it!

Some of you will bore me argue that I don’t have to answer the phone and that you’re more than happy to leave a message. Tell me something, have you ever had a day, or two days in a row where you have had back-to-back appointments / events / functions and, with each voice message that comes in, the buildup in the message box becomes so big that, even if you find time to check them, it will now take too long to deal with?

Haven’t you?

Oh.

Well, know this – others do!

If I’m (for want of a scenario) having lunch with my mother and some strange number phones, or even a number that happens to be in my phone book, I’m not going to answer the phone – I’m with my mother, that’s what I’m doing. Then, if that person leaves a voicemail message, I’m not going to check it right away and will probably forget to do so after the lunch anyway. That message will be number 15 in the message box which I haven’t found a moment to check anyway and to sit down and listen to all of those may well kill me.

But if that person sent me an sms – I could then glance at it and gauge if the person needs a prompt response from me, or if it could wait until after lunch. I could even reply during a toilet break!

Is this starting to make ANY sense to you?

4 – Meetings and Emails

While we’re having this chat, what is it with people who want to tell you about an idea or something and start pushing for a meeting? Especially when it is something that can be perfectly laid out and communicated via email? I can’t do a meeting, but I wouldn’t mind hearing more about your idea. Can you email me all the info, with pics etc?

But then, when I ask you to email me, I get this silence – as though I’m tossing you aside with no hope of follow-through. Let me tell you one thing – there has never been a better hope of follow-through than via email or text. Would you rather I wrote your number down on a napkin and found a paper diary to fumble through and then phone you back with an appointment that doesn’t suit you?

Grow up man – it’s virtually 2010 – we have sms/emails and calenders – let’s work it that way. Let’s email and then, if things warm up and a meeting is necessary, then we can agree on a date and time and synchronise calendars. All without one phone call!

5 – Weekend Phone Calls

Which brings me to weekend phone-calls.. Why, dear Lord, are people still indulging in this bizarre practice? How is it that you are so convinced that this particular moment, which CLEARLY suits you to make a phone call, suits me as well? Who exactly do you think you are calling me or anyone on the weekend? How can you be so sure that I’m not trying to use this time to catch up with The Muse, who I haven’t had a moment with for the last week or two? How can you be so sure that I’m not in the middle of a shopping trip with my mother, or trying to drift away on the beach, or carry bags to my car, or ANYTHING for that matter? Who the fuck do you actually think you are?

And, if you MUST have a loose chat on the weekend, bang out an sms and I’ll reply when I get a moment. It might be right now – or it might be later. It might even be when I’m on the loo – who knows? Point is, it’s the weekend, bru – don’t be rude.

Personally, I feel this rule should apply to the week – not only the weekend. But, to coin a phrase I made up many years ago when living in Italy, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

And you know what the beauty of this argument is? The entire premise behind it is to do with general good manners and considerateness. That’s all. No-one is trying to be cool or show off or claim that they are too busy and that is why they want it like this. No-no, that’s because it is what it is – good manners and considerateness. Do you GET that?

6 – Some Basics to Get You Started

“Have you got John’s number?” That’s a SMS, not a phone call.

“Are you going to that thing tonight?” That’s a SMS, not a phone call.

“What is the dress code?” That’s a SMS, not a phone call.

“Can you recommend a restaurant?” That’s a SMS, not a phone call.

“What time are you going?” That’s a SMS, not a phone call.

“Have you seen my sunglasses?” That’s a SMS, not a phone call.

“Is Mark back in Cape Town?” That’s a SMS, not a phone call.

“Are you keen for lunch?” That’s a SMS, not a phone call.

“Please give me a call, I need to pick your brain.” No. without any hint as to what the topic is, I will NOT be calling you back. Too many times have I called someone so they can “pick my brain” and they have abused my politeness and cornered me and annoyed me. Or they require information that I could have gathered BEFORE calling them back. Or, better yet, something that can be sms’d or emailed.

Times have changed – let’s help each other live the holiday.

Check it out, peeps – if you’re into your music and, in particular BLUES – then this is the one to nail very HARD on the head!

On Saturday the 28th of November the Top Blues and Rock artists in the country will be belting out the Blues and getting even the most jaded individuals up on their feet and rocking out.

Fender will be there with 3 of it’s endorsees: Dan Patlansky, Albert Frost and Richard Pryor They will be giving away prizes including a brand new Fender Stratocaster Guitar!

Personally I’m a huge fan of Rupert Mellor & The Thunderbirds (you may have seen me mention him in my latest ELLE Magazine interview) and can highly recommend you check them out! And they’re just ONE of the groups.

There’s no doubt that these bands, a 30,000 watt P/A rig, rolling lawns, huge marquee, food & refreshments, plenty of free secure parking and the beautiful Bloemendal venue are going to be a treat that will be remembered for years to come.

The MC for the event will be Robin Clark from CapeTalk

Early booking is recommended as tickets are limited to secure the comfort of all the music lovers.

Bookings are open at Computicket on 083 9158000 or CLICK HERE to book online .

Tickets cost R160 and are limited, so book early.

The venue is family friendly and children under 10 years old get in for free!

If there weren’t enough reasons for you to love Mabu Vinyl (2oceansvibe’s vinyl store of choice), this may well be what you’re looking for.

Spotted in their window over the last week:

Spotted in Mabu Vinyl’s shop window..
Enjoy the “Dickhead” sign above the book

You simply CANNOT put a price on that kind of humour.

In a shop window, for God’s sake!

It’s too awesome!

And that’s without even considering our stunning Bubba Gump underbite and ludicrous book title.

Really now, what more do you want from life?

Seeing things like that is like eating chocolate, for me.

I want to lick the shop window.

I may well go and do that today.

[thanks ian]

Barbara Streisand and Barry Gibb - “Guilty” is an album released by Barbra Streisand in 1980. The album was written and produced by Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees and sold over 20 million copies. Naturally Bazza features in numerous songs on the album, including the Grammy winning title track and the song “Woman in Love” (the video above). You can hear it most Sundays on vinyl if you stand close enough to The Safe House. It ought to be illegal.. [wiki]

White House Party Crashers – A pair of aspiring reality TV stars have become the first people ever to successfully crash a White House state dinner. Tareq and Michaele Salahi, possible stars of the new show “The Real Housewives of Washington,” were not on the guest list for Tuesday night’s star studded dinner, but mannaged to get past the tight security. [nydailynews]

Only 20% of World Cup Tickets Have Been Sold – 80% of the tickets available for the 2010 soccer World Cup – which is a mere 196 days away – have not been sold. But Fifa and the 2010 local organising committee, which announced that only 671000 of the 3 million World Cup tickets have been sold, don’t seem to be worried. I think they’ll be ok.. [timeslive]

Newspapers Join Rupert Murdoch’s Google Blockade – Newspaper publishers reeling from the Internet-spurred decline of print advertising may join Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. in considering blocking Google from displaying their news articles. This is history in the making, my friends. Keep an eye on this. [newsmax]

North Korea Will Only See 2010 World Cup Games That They Win – 2oceansvibe’s favourite, Kim Jong-il, the “Great Commander” and “Dear Leader” of North Korea has ruled that his people will only be allowed to see coverage of their team winning. Despite them qualifying for the first time in 44 years. I think that’s fair enough.. [thesun]

Roman Polanski Granted Bail For Sodomising a Child – A swiss court has granted Polanski $4.5million bail from a Swiss jail. He will be allowed to stay under house arrest at his Swiss Alps Chalet and must wear an electronic bracelet. Not bad going after drugging and raping a 13 year old. I bet he runs again. [bbc]

Meet The Gadaffi Boys – Libyan leader Muammar Gadaffi’s kids are a hoot: Saif is a painter who keeps pet tigers, while Hannibal enjoys sports cars and turning fire extinguishers into weapons. And, according to sources, they’re paying the U.S. a visit on daddy’s dime. [gawker]

Megan Fox Not Invited to Transformers Reunion – Tensions are apparently still high from the open letter calling Megan Fox a “thankless, unfriendly bitch” because she was noticeably absent from Michael Bay’s reunion party for the cast and crew of Transformers. [thesuperficial]

The 10 Fattest Countries in The World – If you tend to pack on a few pounds over the holidays, blame it on globalization. As the world has grown smaller, we’ve all grown larger — alarmingly so. In countries around the world, waistlines are expanding so rapidly that health experts recently coined a term for the epidemic: globesity. [huffers]

The World’s Most Expensive Gift – It’s a combo gift – like those steak and beer vaccuum packed combination packs they sell at the Spar. Except this one involves a jet and a yacht and it comes with a $500million price tag. Bot bad… if you see what you’re getting. It’s not just any jet, let me tell you.. [luxuo]

The World’s Best Gadgets – Gizmodo is probably my favourite gadgets website and, if you too enjoy gadgets you’ll be over the moon to learn that they have just put together their annual BEST OF list. It’s pretty goddamn awesome. [gizmodo]

Beach Clean Up at Witsands This Saturday – Ocean Minded and other organizations have organized a beach clean at Witsands this Saturday. “We need help to take care of a plume washed out from the old dump.” Free killer Kauai smoothies and gear give-away. Very cool vibe, guys. Good job. [oceanminded]

[thanks fergus]

And the bullshit continues, coming to you LIVE from The Safe House.

As most of you will know, my domestic executive, Mavis, doesn’t have the most stressful job in the world and if anyone was living the holiday, it’s her.

We have a note pad in one of the spare bedrooms with a pen next to it. Mavis writes down pretty much anything her heart desires and, depending on the demand, it usually appears within 24 hours. It’s basically a magical note pad.

Toilet paper, Jik, sugar and the like usually arrives within 24 hours, whilst requests for zero-interest, zero-payment-ever loans are generally facilitated within 48 hours. Use of the list also includes demands for things to be fixed in the Safe House, which will almost always result in the finest handymen, plumbers and electricians on the Atlantic Seaboard, descending upon The Safe House. It would not be unusual to see these professionals abseiling out of helicopters due to the level of urgency imposed by Her Royal Highness.

I ask you to keep all of this in mind as we peruse Mavis’s latest note:

  
The latest installment from Mavis..

Ok, can I just say something. You see that note there? Ja, ok….. that whole thing is a goddamn lie. EVERYTHING. Not only the first part or the second part – the WHOLE thing. It wreaks of bullshit!

Mavis, can I ask you something? What do you mean the iron is “tripping?” The only thing tripping here is YOU, on whatever the incredibly expensive drugs are that you are clearly dropping at the moment.

Why would you not ask me to get the iron fixed for you, Mavis? You’ve never ever ever taken anything EVER to be fixed EVER. Why now?

And what do you you mean you took it to the doctor? HUH? Is there an after hours service in Bishopscourt? I never knew that. Oh, sorry, I forgot, you live in a “township” (pfft – yeah, right – that old chestnut!).

And then suddenly you’re mentioning “some water” and the fact that the iron didn’t fall. Give me a break – that’s like those people selling “multi-level marketing” schemes who kickoff with the statement, “although it looks like a pyramid scheme, it’s not.”

Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!

My God, I have never seen such a guilty conscience come through so clearly on paper. It starts with “sorry” and ends with “it didn’t fall.”

I really need to get some CCTV installed in The Safe House to see what is going on while I’m at the beach.

Honestly, this is all a bit much! No, honestly – I’m finished!

What do YOU make of this? You reckon Mavis is full of shit?

There’s not much time left before the Bowling for Movember day of reckoning! Team 2oceansvibe took the trophy last year and there is even more reason to do so this year – because there’s going to be a feature in Men’s Health Magazine. That’s because we’re raising funds for male related cancer.
That’s right, cancer of the old testicles…
So it’s Balls to the Lawn time, people! THIS SUNDAY! Time to take matters in to your own hands, and get things rolling – with tons of prizes to be had.

So spread the word, network, hassle, bribe, build the Mo-mentum and preach the Mo-spel. You got some money to raise for a very worthy cause!! And you get the chance to win big!!

And if you aren’t playing on the day, choose your favourite team from the team entry list www.bowlingformovember.co.za/donate.php and sponsor them some money. All proceeds go to CANSA and you can help them win awesome prizes.

The Best Mo on Show and Mo-Team that raises the most money gets featured in the February issue of Men’s Health Magazine. Instant fame, people. Yes, jy kan famous wees! There’ll also be amazing prizes for the team that raises the most mo’olah. Check out the awesome prize list from the generous sponsors ( www.bowlingformovember.co.za/prizes.php)

To donate is easy, click here and follow the on screen instructions or use these:

(1) Follow link to CANSA website HERE  
(2) Click on the Project Drop Down Bar,
(3) Select Bowling for Movember
(4) Click the little box to leave a message for CANSA
(5) in the box, specify which team you are sponsoring through your donation.

Everyone is welcome to come and support on the day.

Sunday 29 November, 10am-6pm, 28 teams will be going head to head so to speak for the Golden Balls Trophy, prizes and a chance to be featured in Men’s Health Magazine. There will be DJs, a full bar, café, charity auction, massage station and nurse/CANSA representative to answer any questions relating to men’s health.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon by Stephenie Meyer is the latest victim to have been put through the Hollywood sausage machine like that magical kid with John Lennon style glasses and a jet-powered broomstick. I used to associate ‘twilight’ with that time of day when the light diffuses in the sky just before dawn or sunset… but it’s with great sadness that I confess: I’ve been violated by the Twilight phenomenon.

After watching 50 minutes of ‘New Moon’, a state of uncertainty, vagueness and gloom crept over me. I went in thinking it couldn’t happen to me… Now I can’t help but think of the time I lost sitting in a dark room full of strangers whenever someone says ‘twilight’ or ‘new moon’. Then I heard somewhere that the film’s “subversive” message is actually an allegory for abstinence… how Edward, the vampire boy can’t suck on Bella until they get married or something? I could be wrong.

Catch the rest of the review and the trailer after the jump…

Continue Reading

I’m going! Are you?

You’re not? Shame, you poor little freak show!

Don’t fright – I’ve got a solution for you.

My boys at RSA Web (the power behind 2oceansvibe hosting) have made things pretty easy for you.

All you have to do is make sure you’ve joined the RSA Web Facebook Fan Page and leave them (RSA Web) a comment on their wall, stating why you should win the tickets and which city you’d like to see them play (CTP or JHB).

The person whose message gets the most love from fellow facebookers in the form of ‘likes’ wins!

How easy?

Winner’s will be announced on Nov 30th.

Swype could make typing easier on the iPhone – Swype, invented by the guys behind the T9 predictive text typing system, have come up with something pretty mind blowing. They’ve managed to get around the hassle of typing on a flast screen. ie. the number 1 gripe people have with iPhones (from what I’ve seen). Let’s hope Apple get the rights to Swype, because it’s hot! [iclarified]

Barack Obama Sucks at Golf – It seems weird, right? You kind of assume he’ll be nearly as good as Tiger Woods, don’t you? I mean, he’s the first black American president and he’s pretty smooth. Surely Tiger has taught him how to clean up on the course? Apparently not. Even though his actual score is a “matter of national security.” [gawker]

SA Government Approves R1-Billion SABC Bailout – Can someone tell me exactly why we are forced to pay TV licenses when the funds are merely squandered and the government steps in before it all falls down anyway and helps them continue the bullshit? [mail&guardian]

Claudia Schiffer, Eva Herzigova and Helena Christensen Nude in i-D Magazine – Forget all your Victoria’s Secret models, and Sports Illustrated swimsuit babes, the real Supermodels have been, and always will be the likes of Claudia Schiffer, Eva Herzigova and Helena Christensen. And here they are, nude in the Winter 2010 issue of i-D magazine. [dnevnohr]

The Definition of Evil: Microsoft’s Search Wars Hurt Us All – Microsoft may pay Murdoch to delist from Google. If it happens, it sets a bad precedent. Imagine if all the world’s content is exclusive to some engines and we have to search them all to find what we want? Between Google and Microsoft and Murdoch, Someone is going down! [gizmodo]

“Jock of The Bushveld” Gets Animated – The local, animated version of Jock of the Bushveld will have a list of credits including Tim Rice, Johnny Clegg and Desmond Tutu. It may just stun the world, but will it disappoint South Africa?[thedailymaverick]

Most expensive gift items for the Christmas – Everyone here at 2oceansvibe either is or wants to be living the holiday. Whichever one it is, you gotta be thinking big to make it happen. The guys at BornRich have put together a must-have list of the most expensive Christmas gifts possible. Did you enter the lottery, by the way? [bornrich]

Madam Exposes Playboy Centrefold Escort Racket – Hollywood madam, Michelle Braun has gone and ruined it for all of us by announcing that she used to rent out Playboy centrefolds for $10,000 a pop. Clients have included kings of countries, sports men, Forbes listers and even an IDOLS presenter! Good times.. [nypost]

Forbes Billionaires List Shrinks 30%, Gates Regains World’s Richest Title – Of the 1,125 billionaires who made last year’s ranking, 373 fell off the list.There are 38 newcomers, plus three moguls who returned to the list after regaining their 10-figure fortunes. It is the first time since 2003 that the world has had a net loss in the number of billionaires. God help us all! [msnbc]

Woody Allen To Cast French First Lady, Carla Bruni, in Next Flick – French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s wife, Carla Bruni, has confirmed that Woody Allen asked her to be in his next movie. Mick Jagger’s hand-me-down also stated that she was more than keen to do so. Which is not surprising. It’s no secret that she has been hounding me to be the next 2oceansvibe Weather Girl. [hollywoodwiretap]

Telkom’s Mobile Plan “Suicidal,” Says Analyst – South Africa’s fixed-line phone group Telkom’s plan to launch a new mobile phone business next year is not expected to boost profit significantly, an analyst said on Tuesday. [reuters]

Inside a Supermodel’s Suicide – Hours before she was found dead of an apparent suicide last week, Korean supermodel and Chanel muse Daul Kim reached out to a friend for a last boost of support. They talked about her depression, weight loss, and a fistfight with her boyfriend. [dailybeast]

Ringo Starr Recruits Paul McCartney for New Album “Y Not” – Ringo Starr grabbed a little help from his friends for his new album Y Not, due January 12th, 2010. The Beatles drummer will be joined by his Fab Four bandmate Paul McCartney on a couple of tracks, including first single “Walk With Me,” which finds Macca and Starr sharing vocals. [rollingstone]

National Geographic’s International Photo Contest (PHOTOS) – These stunning photographs are from National Geographic’s annual international photography contest. They are a selection from the Viewers’ Choice portion of the contest. Take a look, and cast your vote for the winner. [huffpo]

Some of you may not have received the memo regarding Monday. We call it the weather report and it was showing a reading of “stupid” for the whole day.

It started off like this:

And ended like this:

With all sorts happening in between.

To check out the shots from the day, check out the 2oceansvibe Flickr photo albums which you can find here.

I know what you’re going to say and I agree with you. Why is there so much focus on stopping global warming, when the sun and girls in bikinis are so awesome?

Brain

Does

Not

Compute

Once you’ve check out those pics, check out this one. Sent in by a reader, Damon P, who spotted me from afar. He says:

Hey Seth,

I thoroughly enjoyed the pics you posted on Twitter yesterday. Seems like we were quite near each other on the beach.

Thought you might appreciate this pic of you taken at the same time – with some pleasant scenery in the foreground..

Click pic for higher res image

Nice one, Damon! Yes, indeed, I think that is me *cough* in the background.