2oceans Vibe

I thought the okes could have been spicing it a bit when I first published that story about Dubai Mall’s Aquarium Springing a leak. That was before I checked this cellphone video of some of yesterday’s action.

Check it out:

Jesus – that water was coming out FAST!

Remember when you were a kid, and all you wanted to be when you grew up was Tiger Woods!? He was loaded, had a Scandinavian wife and ate salmon off Angelina Jolie for breakfast. He was the American Dream.

Well, it seems those days are gone. (Even though some would argue that there are a bunch of kids out there that, considering recent developments, still want to grow up to be like Tiger Woods.)

Maybe you wanted to grow up to be a pro-footballer like John Terry? I would like to digress for a minute here to help you realise what’s in store this weekend. On Saturday, Man City will play Chelsea. John Terry plays for Chelsea, and Wayne Bridge now plays for Man City. John Terry and Wayne Bridge were friends, but then John Terry shagged Wayne Bridge’s girlfriend (not cool!). Wayne Bridge will need to shake John Terry’s hand before the game, while the world watches. Neither has spoken since the incident. AWKWARD moment. Saturday, 2pm, Supersport3. Enjoy!

'Below the belt' - Scotty Lago

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Besides improving your life and making you a better person, the iPhone also has some of the best weather reports the world has ever seen. I use the “WeatherPro” app on mine, which I turned on very recently.

That’s when I realised you are about to enter the most amazing seven days EVER!

Yet another reminder of how brilliantly you’ve done by making Cape Town your preferred location.

Are you kidding me?

Well done, you little genius you.

They’re calling it “the party of a lifetime” and it is a known fact that you will die if you miss it. That is why I am giving you this warning so you can’t blame me when that happens.

It’s on March 19th and there will be NO tickets sold at the door on the night . Now besides having the party of your life with the Wedding DJ’s and all the 2oceansvibe people that make up this beautiful place, your measly R80 will also get you:

- VIP entry to the party (because where we’re from EVERYONE is VIP.

- Delicious Canapés from Pomegranate catering

- Peroni beers and De Grendel wine on arrival.

- Lindt Chocolates (and yummy promo girls) and Evian water throughout the evening.

- Company including the various 2oceansvibe bands, brands, peoples and Weather Girls.

- The Wedding DJ’s, giving you the guaranteed party that they can’t help giving.

- Video of the night will be featured on the next 2oceansvibe DVD.

- The next 115 people that buy tickets from the time the article was published, will get a 20%-off voucher for Puma!

- One lucky 2oceansviber will win a 1 and a half hour sunset cruise with Peroni and 30 friends. Now THAT is a serious prize! Anyone who purchases 5 or more tickets for The Vibe party will automatically enter this draw!

Listen to me carefully now – This is NOT one of those parties where R80 gets you entry. This R80 gives you the most orgasmic evening of your life.

All the media, press, TV and radio stations will be there with their flashing light bulbs. Only the sexiest angels and only the best people – good people – 2oceansvibe people like you and me. No twats..

As I said, tickets are LIMITED and will NOT be sold at the door.

You snooze, you lose, ou pel!

CLICK HERE FOR FACEBOOK PAGE

CLICK HERE TO SECURE YOUR TICKET

Seriously, this will blow your mind.

Yelle is a French band founded by lead singer and namesake, Yelle and GrandMarnier. The third member, Tepr joined the band before the recording of their debut album. The band came to prominence when they posted an early version of the song “Je Veux Te Voir” on MySpace in September 2005, it later reached the top five in France. Their debut album, Pop-Up was released in 2007.

But now, now my friends, there is this video of the “ACDG Remix.”

Wait until you see these cats dance. Keep an eye on the guys in the background as the main character warms up..

Hey?

HEY?!

I know – pretty radical..

Finally – the world gets a Jet Pack

First Commercial Jet-Pack Released For £50,000 – Firstly it’s not an actual jet pack as those are not “jets.” I’m glad it’s finally been realised after wanting one since I was five, but, seriously, all you’ve done is strapped a Boeing to a dude’s back with duck tape and replaced the jets with ceiling fans. Give us a shout when it’s the size of a small ruck sack and can blast me from The Cape Royale to Camps Bay in a minute. Jerks. [dailymail]

Johnny Depp Supports Killers – On Saturday night, Johnny Depp will appear on US CBS’ investigative news show “48 Hours Mystery” to defend the West Memphis Three, who as teenagers were found guilty of the hideous 1993 murder of three 8-year-old boys in West Memphis, Arkansas. Depp joins a handful of other entertainers — Eddie Vedder, Winona Ryder, the Dixie Chicks. [cnn]

iPhone App Makes $1Million In 9 Days – More than 300,000 iPhone and iPod touch owners have shelled out to download Plants vs. Zombies since its App Store debut nine days ago. The popular game from PopCap, priced at $2.99, has in fact netted the developer more than $1 million so far, leading to the claim that it has set a new record for App Store launches. [mashable]

Growing Pains actor Found Dead – The disappearance of Growing Pains actor, Andrew Koenig, who played the character “Boner” in the series, has come to an end with him found dead Thursday in a wooded area of a sprawling Vancouver park, apparently after committing suicide. Boner suffered from life-long depression. Shame. [npr]

The Fall of the House of Murdoch – With News Corp. insiders claiming “it’s terrible now,” there is clearly a Shakespearian devolution of Murdoch’s fierce machinery into turmoil, factionalism, and infighting. The old man, nearing the end of his reign, no longer inspires enough fear or loyalty within his own ranks to keep the jostling for power beneath the surface, and a Lord of the Flies ugliness abounds. [gawker]

Big Concerts To Offer Pre-Order Picnic Baskets – In a fresh new move for concert goers, Big Concerts have contracted the services of The Caviar Group of Restaurants (namely Beluga and Sevruga), who will provide pre-ordered picnic boxes at concerts such as the Cliff Richard and Sir Elton. The picnic boxes are available from Computicket website. Genius! [eltonpicnic]

Gaddafi Calls For Jihad against Switzerland – Libyan leader Muammar al-Gaddafi called for jihad (holy war) against Switzerland over the ban adopted last year on the construction of minarets in the country. You may well have no idea what a minaret is, but that should not detract from the awesomness of Gaddafi. Even more reason for us to support him in his quest to become the president of Africa. [timeslive]

A movie script of this nature would never get passed as it’s just not that believable. Well, believe it my friend! This has just happened!

Dubai, the global symbol of greed and the embodiment of karma itself has been dealt another blow, this time in the form of a leak – in the Dubai Mall’s aquarium.

The one with all the sharks. Yup, you heard me.

I know – how is it possible that 75cm thick glass, which has been made to hold 10 million litres of water and 400 sharks, can crack?

Don’t be ridiculous!

2oceansviber, Peter V, who works in the same building in Dubai, received this email : “Dubai mall’s aquarium exploded today!! The parking is flooded with water.. If ur car is there take it out asap.. And if ur heading there then DON’T”

Mellow.

Then check this out from ever-so-slightly-sensational The Sun :

A HUGE shark-filled aquarium at the famous Dubai shopping mall is leaking forcing part of the shopping centre to be evacuated, reports say.

A Dubai Mall official announced that the tank’s giant viewing platform, where the glass is 75cm thick, has cracked.

The shark, stingray and fish-filled tank is located on the mall’s ground floor, next to upscale clothing shops and not far from an Olympic-sized ice-skating rink and the only international branch of high-end retailer Bloomingdale’s.

Not a good place to be..

Witness Ranjin, a 27-year-old corporate secretary, said: “I saw a crack in the aquarium glass and there was water coming out and a lot of water on the floor.

“The police came and evacuated the area around the aquarium.”

The tank is one of the largest in the world and features the huge 32.8m wide and 8.3m high viewing panel.

The aquarium — dubbed an “indoor ocean” — contains more than 33,000 living animals, from 85 species — including over 400 sharks and rays, according to Dubai Mall’s website.

It is operated by Emaar Properties and has been visited by more than one million people since it opened seven months ago.

Pretty hectique, I think you will agree?

I’m glad The Sun clarified that it contains 33,000 LIVING animals. I’d be pretty pissed off if I went to aquarium and they had dead animals floating around. Although, granted, it would be a pleasant alternative to the 400 live sharks that might be thrashing around at their feet in a moment.

[thanks pete]

You will recall the other day we mobilised the troops and asked you to head through to Food24 and vote for Lee Ann and Kirsten in the “Hot Chef” competition.

This is the vibe we went for:

Oh my goodness look at this! Kirsten and Lee Ann, our little spunks from Miss K Food Cafe in Green Point (next to our primary residence, The Cape Royale) are up for an important accolade! It’s the News24 Sizzling Hot Chefs competition, and 2oceansvibe is 100% behind them!

Seriously gang, you know how the vibe works – it takes care of people that deserve looking after. And world-class food aside, these girls aren’t the hardest on the eye which, as far as I can see, is the point of this competition!

You’ll never believe who won… Oh, did the headline give it away?

So why don’t you just stop what you’re doing right now and give yourselves a round of applause, because Miss K won the whole thing and are now, officially, the most sizzling hot chef’s in Cape Town!

Kirsten and Lee Ann
Can keep drinking..

Well done Kirsten and Lee Ann!

And well done to all the 2oceansvibers out there for ensuring the vibe remains cool and victorious at all times!

Be sure to visit Miss K if you haven’t already. It’s just to the right of my residence, The Cape Royale Hotel , Main Road, Green Point.

Check out the full results of the Hot Chefs competition here.

Look, there’s a time and place for phone calls. YOU just don’t seem to get it.

Unexpected or unplanned phone calls are slowly but surely becoming the new anti-social smoking. People are starting to realise that the more accessible we have become, the less time we have to ourselves and the more intrusive every phone call becomes. This, naturally, goes against the idea of living the holiday. Surely this was not the plan, when technology became more and more advanced?

A lot of people take it personally when they are asked to email or SMS, rather than calling randomly at time that suits them. Laugh if you will, my thick skinned friends – times are changing and I swear to you that unless you embrace the SMS culture (which is SIMPLY to do with common courtesy) and kick the habit of making unplanned or unexpected phone calls, you will be deemed anti-social in a few years time. It’s EXACTLY the same as people who insist on a meeting, when a couple of emails will suffice.

And you know what? I’m not alone..

Whilst our concerns and suggestions are well documented (here, here and here), similar support for this 2oceansvibe communications ideal, is gaining momentum all over the world.

This, from The Oatmeal (I told you about The Oatmeal before here – awesome website):

They give 9 other valid reasons that I haven’t even touched on, so check them out HERE.

Seriously now, why do you take it so personally? We’re just trying to get on with our lives and concentrate on one thing at a time.

Why would you not prefer me to give you my undivided attention on email? Rather than trying to deal with a bad connection and your whining voice, while I’m trying to park my car and tip a car guard at the same time.

MOST of those phone calls end with the same line anyway, “Cool, could you email that to me or SMS me the details and I’ll follow through.”

Have you noticed that?

[thanks siraj]

It had to come out sooner or later. With the massive success of ass products sold in and around South Africa, it was only a matter of time before someone found out where it all came from.

Would you believe it – KIMBERLEY of all places!

The Ass Wholesalers outlet in Kimberley
The only distributors (as far as we know)
of pure unprocessed ass in South Africa

I don’t know about you, but I’m booking a trip to go there as soon as possible. I’m not sure what I’m going to make with the ass I buy, but I’m just going to get myself a whole stack of it before it’s all sold out! Who knows – Ass flavoured bubble bath?

The way ass products are taking off, that stuff will be under lock and key in no time. It’ll be like the Coca-Cola recipe or the KFC secret ingredients..

Trust me, folks – get that ass before it’s all gone!

[thanks barry]

The Cloondog’s girlfriend, Elisabetta Canalis, has obviously been behaving lately and, as a reward, our boy has bought her an island. But not just any island – Loreto Island on Lake Como in Italy (the same area that 2oceansvibe Character The Italian‘s family comes from, funnily enough).

Loreto Island

That’s it over there – in the middle..
CLICK HERE for more pics.

Are you ok with that?

That’s why I like George Clooney – we just seem to have this connection. You see, I also like islands like that and have been looking for something similar for a while now.

Another reason why I like George Clooney is his girlfriend also has a look that appeals to me.

Perhaps her look appeals to you too?

Elisabetta Canalis

Pretty cool having a girlfriend like that and a castle in Italy like that, hey?

And isn’t it a coincidence that the Italian SuperEna Lottery has a jackpot tonight of half a billion Rand?

That is no coincidence, my friends – you should enter and win. Then you can get an angel like that and a castle like that chop-chop!

I’m standing by with these numbers. Wish me luck!

What do you think of my numbers? You reckon those are the ones?

CLICK HERE to buy your own tickets safely and securely online.

Interesting vibe our friends at Louis Vuitton are going for. It’s basically the same as those bin liners you can get for your garbage. You know, the one’s with the draw string. Ja, those ones. So it’s like that, except it’s made by Louis Vuitton and costs R15,000.

Now that obviously changes things..

Luxuo tells us:

The newest Louis Vuitton accessory for spring is the trash bag aka ‘raindrop besace’ designed by Marc Jacobs. This ‘bag’ is named the Raindrop Besace because it’s made from coated canvas (raincoat material), and thus waterproof. It has a removable shoulder strap in case you want to actually carry it like a trash bag.

This designer trash bag can be yours for $1,960. Available next month at Louis Vuitton stores everywhere.

We are seriously considering launching a range of 2oceansvibe handbags. We’ll be using the original black bags, which obviously allows for far more storage space. The range will be a collaborative effort between ourself and the Cape Town Municipality.

Drug Kingpinup
Angie Sanselmente Valencia

Lingerie Model Runs One Of World’s Largest Drug Gangs – Stories like this are tailor made for 2oceansvibe. An international arrest warrant has been issued for the 30-year-old Angie Sanselmente Valencia, who is suspected of recruiting beautiful women and using them to move drugs to Europe and North America. Many of these women are believed to be other lingerie and glamour models. [telegraph]

Dope Smoker Freaks Out After Girlfriend Turns Into Dolphin – A man walked into a police station in southern Sweden last week to complain about the quality of the hash that he had been sold, asking for a lump to be tested for traces of LSD. The man told officers that his ganja had left him feeling ill-at-ease and in the midst of a nightmare scenario where his girlfriend resembled a dolphin. [thelocal]

Howard Stern Organises $100,000 Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant – As the Tiger Woods scandal continues to evolve and develop, legendary shock jock Howard Stern, announced recently he will be holding a Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant, offering a huge $100,000.00 cash prize to the winner, who must be one of the “officially” recognized women linked romantically to the famous golfer. [associated]

Hummer Is Dead – General Motors announced yesterday that its deal to sell the Hummer brand to China’s Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machines could not be completed. As a result the Hummer brand will begin winding down, joining other iconic brands such as Pontiac and Saturn on the GM execution list. At this point it appears highly unlikely that another saviour will be found in time. [carmagazine]

Yahoo Partners With Twitter – Yahoo Inc plans to integrate Twitter into its collection of websites, as the company seeks to enhance the appeal of its online properties with popular social networking features. The partnership will allow web surfers to view the short, 140-character messages created by Twitter users, dubbed Tweets, directly within Yahoo sites as well as to publish their own Twitter messages without leaving Yahoo. [reuters]

Fake Rape Victom Gets 3 Years For Sending Innocent Man To Prison – A woman who fabricated a gang rape accusation was sentenced Tuesday to up to three years behind bars herself, saying she was riven with remorse for sending an innocent man to prison. They should do the same with Cape Town whores women who intentionally fake pregnancies. You know who you are. [newsrunner]

Charlie Sheen And Wife Both In Rehab – You’ll never believe it, but Charlie Sheen has entered a treatment facility, following speculation he was drinking again. “As a preventative measure, Charlie Sheen has entered a rehabilitation facilit,” says source. Sheen’s wife, Brooke Mueller, is also in rehab for crack and alcohol addiction. Excellent! [popeater]

Hilary Duff Blown Away By Marriage Proposal – The ring she got from hockey player Mike Comrie is estimated to be worth around $1million. Which is pretty impressive, I guess. Not nearly as impressive as the gift she gave him afterwards. What a nice gesture, I’m sure you will agree? [superficial]

Google Execs Convicted In Italy – A judge in Milan, Italy, on Wednesday convicted three Google executives of violating Italy’s privacy laws, a decision that Google is characterizing as an attack on Internet freedom. The charges stem from a video that was uploaded to YouTube in Italy that depicts four high school boys in a classroom in Turin, Italy, taunting another boy with a mental disability. [informationweek]

Conan O’Brien Joins Twitter – A Conan O’Brien Twitter account surfaced yesterday evening under the name @ConanOBrien. Conan’s first tweet, posted at approximately 6 p.m. Feb. 24, 2010, said: “Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me.” Two hours later, the feed had nearly 129,000 followers. His bio reads, “I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account.” [huffstuff]

SeaWorld Killer Whale Kills Trainer – A trainer at the SeaWorld theme park in Florida died yesterday after being attacked by a five-tonne killer whale, named Tillikum. Witnesses said she was attacked and shaken. Victoria Biniak told a local TV station. “Tillikum “took off really fast in the tank and he came back, shot up in the air, grabbed the trainer by the waist and started thrashing her around.” [times]

George Clooney Buys Island For Girlfriend – George Clooney of course owns a home (the Villa Oleandra) on Lake Como in Italy, which you may remember as the place where the French guy lived in ‘Oceans 12′. In the middle of the lake is Loreto Island, and now Clooney owns that too, or at least his girlfriend does because he bought it for her. You need to see these pics. [wwtdd]

Today’s SuperEna Lottery Jackpot Set For Half A Billion Rand! – Ok, look, it’s only actually €40 million, which is just under half a billion rand. You’ll forgive me right? When you’re only able to buy seven private jets and not eight. You won’t be angry, hey? Come on, bru, I thought we were buddies? I just bought my tickets – have you? [playsuperena]

Toyota Chief Blasted, Despite Apology – Under blistering criticism, Toyota President Akio Toyoda personally and repeatedly apologized to Congress and millions of anxious American car-owners Wednesday for deadly defects in popular models produced by his Japanese company. But angry lawmakers declared it was hardly enough. [associated]

Cape Town comedian, Paul Snodgrass has just returned from a week or so in the US, during which he attended the Dallas NBA AllStar game. That’s pretty big..

Let’s check it out:

I have just got back from the NBA Allstar game in Dallas, jet lagged beyond belief. What a trip though. Here are some pics of the trip, Got to meet some of the biggest stars in the game.

Your common “slam-dunk” about to take place

But Dallas, is not pretty, it’s like Bellville with 9 millions people all saying y’all and carrying guns. Be happy to live in Cape Town, In 4 days I maybe saw 5 girls I found sexy. And this is what is looks like, flat, ugly and boring. (Dallas is kak)

Saturday morning went to meet the players, chatted to the biggest names – Lebron James, cool dude, asked him how he is promoting the game to the rest of the world. his answer – “Everytime I get on the court I promote the game.” ha ha. (Lebron James) Also spoke to Carmello Anthony, asked him if he knew the words to Ice Ice Baby – We sang the first verse together, WICKED (CArmello Anthony) And finally spoke to Steve Nash, he was born in SA. Coo dude, coming to SA for the world cup. (Steve NAsh)

Snoddie does his thing with Carmello Anthony

Then went to the convention Centre to check out some cool stuff, just in case anyone thought i was not really short (I’m short) and I also made peace with the Empire (Star Wars)

In the evening we went to the slam dunk contest. What a show. I decided to be American, got a bud (actually watery piss, give me some Brewers & Union anyday) and some cheese nachos, at least I think it was cheese, it never melted, looked like plastc and tasted like I threw it back up. (I’ll take some biltong and droewors at a rugby game any day. (Beer and Nachos)

Dunk contest was amazing though, Nate Robinson won, I was courtside (Dunk1)

Then on Sunday it was time for the ALLSTAR GAME

And if you think that the new world cup stadiums are cool, you have to check out the Dallas Cowboys Stadium, 108 000 people crammed into the arena to watch the Allstars game. (outside and inside stadium) It looks like a frikken Space ship

Dallas stadium holds 108,000 people
Click image to enlarge

Then we got to see Usher and Alecia Keys (usher and Alecia Keys)

What a weekend. I highly reccomend it.

Snoddie

Very cool.

Check out the rest of Snoddie’s pics here.

I know I’m stating the obvious here, but Denzel Washington is not Mr. T. They act, dress and talk differently… Mr. T carries that Mad Max era cool like someone before their time and while he’s been off the Hollywood scene beating Cancer and endorsing cooking gadgets in an apron, this could have been his defining Tarantino Phoenix Performance… (just made it up, roll with it). Yet, the title character role in The Book of Eli still went to Denzel… FOOLS!

I know it would be difficult to get over the fact that B.A. from The A-Team is Eli, but The Book of Eli isn’t that serious, Mr. T’s spiritual background, age and cult appeal fit right in with the nomadic character of Eli… and without Washington, they’d be able to afford some decent special effects, on-location shooting and maybe even a trilogy… DAMN!

Catch the rest of the review and the trailer after the jump…

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For those of you who haven’t been tracking the progress, I strongly suggest to get tuned in, because it’s all about to come to a head. No, not that kind of head.

Seriously, after two months and nearly 2,000km, Geoff Brink will unicycle into Cape Town later this week to complete The Heart and Sole Tour, an initiative conceived to raise awareness in southern Africa of the continuing devastation caused by landmines.

Brink and Howard Donaldson, the tour’s back-up driver and official blogger (see www.fredhatman.co.za), left Durban on December 28, 2009, and have defied intense heat, thunderstorms, hail, rugged terrain and lack of funding to achieve their objective on behalf of The Sole of Africa, a South Africa-based NGO committed to the removal of landmines in southern Africa and the upliftment of those affected by landmine explosions.

Geoff Brink, giving it a full go

Brink and Donaldson left Heidelberg in the Western Cape yesterday morning (Monday, Feb 22) on the last leg of the journey which should see them arriving at the Clock Tower at Cape Town’s V&A Waterfront on Friday afternoon (Feb 26) at the latest.

Brink, a freelance photographer based in Umdloti on the north coast of Kwazulu-Natal, has overcome severe knee pain, horrendous chafing of his upper thighs, occasional back spasms and broken “distance bars” (small handlebars used on long-distance unicycles), which have snapped three times to unicycle a record distance on a one-wheeled cycle in Africa.

He said: “This tour has been the most amazing thing I’ve ever done – and the hardest. This unicycle ride was far harder than doing my army training and that was hard enough! To be honest, I’m just hanging on at the moment and can’t wait to get finished to get back to Umdloti to my fiancee – we get married on May 8 – and our five dogs which I have missed terribly.”

“Yu, yu, yu!!”

The Heart and Sole Tour received funding from Rotary Umhlanga which also assisted in arranging accommodation in those towns where Rotary clubs exist. Although Brink and Donaldson were fairly well equipped to camp on the side of the road, not once did they have to do that. South Africans of every race and income group rallied behind them to provide free or discounted accommodation or food wherever they went.

“I’d like to thank all of those people who, when they found out what Howard and I were doing, went to such great lengths to help us find a bed and a good meal after a day’s riding. Not only is our country of South Africa unbelievably beautiful but so are our people. The generosity and support we received was just immense. I am proud to call myself a South African.”

“Apart from a couple of close shaves involving crazy drivers on the road, not once did we feel at risk of being harmed or affected by crime. What people should realise is that the vast majority of South Africans of every ethnic background are amazingly good people who will do anything to help others in need. I would never want to live anywhere else!”

Read more and spend time at one of my favourite local blogs, FredHatman.co.za

Loving these Old Spice ads. If you missed the last one with the guy on the boat, check it out here.

But, for now, enjoy this character.

I’m fine with that vibe.

It’s right up our street.

It’s right up your street.

This is our street and everyone is up it.

[thanks paul]

Some of you were blessed enough to have attended the Just Jinjer concert at Kirstenbosch last night. For those of you who missed it, shame. It was, honestly, one of the best concerts I have ever been to. Seriously, ask Marcus Brain about it.

There’s something about being entertained by three people who are not only quite obviously gifted musicians, but also highly intelligent individuals. That kind of vibe appeals to me. It appeals to me that it’s too easy for them. Really – they’re killing it without even thinking…

check out this video of the crowd singing the chorus to the “Peace, Love” song. Beautiful stuff!

As per lead-singer, Ard Matthews’ request on Sunday night at Kirstenbosch, both Just Jinjer and 2oceansvibe appeals to every giving bone in your body to help support the MyLife Foundation and send a R7,50 SMS to 37575. This money will be used be the MyLife foundation to help keep Cape Town’s underprivileged and homeless kids off the streets.

One more time for luck.

Please SMS the word “mylife”

to 37575

and help make a difference.

Rafael Nadal Stars With Shakira In Hot New Music Video – Wow! Shakira’s latest music video, for her new single “Gypsy,” is a steamy affair as she gets close and personal with Spanish tennis star Rafael Nadal. Shakira and Nadal lay next to each other on hot rocks before curling inwards and embracing. At one point they rub noses intimately before breaking out into smiles. [huffstuff]

Toyota Could Face Criminal Prosecution In US – The Toyota crisis deepened further after the beleaguered carmaker admitted it had been subpoenaed by a federal grand jury, and a congressional committee accused it of misleading the public. The subpoena demanded that Toyota and its subsidiaries “produce certain documents related to unintended acceleration of Toyota vehicles and the braking system of the Prius”. [guardian]

The Dalai Lama Joins Twitter – It remains to be seen whether his offline following will boost him past the Ashton Kutchers of the Twittersphere, but the Dalai Lama is well on his way after opening his Twitter account today. With @DalaiLama, the Tibetan spiritual leader is nearing 100,000. [newser]

Cape Town Students Murder Friend On Facebook – Ever wondered where the deceased go on Facebook? Realistically speaking, in 60 years time Facebook will literally be a mass grave site. So how does Facebook keep track of who is alive and who is dead? Well it turns out the family or friends of the deceased can get Facebook to ‘memorialize’ the profile. This basically means anyone has the ability to kill another person on Facebook. [murderbook]

New App Let’s You Identify Strangers – Dubbed Recognizr, the app essentially works like this: the user points the camera at a person across the room. Face recognition software creates a 3-D model of the person’s mug and sends it across a server where it’s matched with an identity in the database. A cloud server conducts the facial recognition since and sends back the subject’s name as well as links to any social networking sites the person has provided access to. [popsci]

News24 Continues To Use The Word “Fuck” – again, we praise News24 for not being scared of the word “fuck” and for openly publishing it, in all it’s glory, without any censorship. I’d hate to think what Virgin Active says of all of this, what with their banning of 2oceansvibe, due to the F-bomb coming up every now and then. Check it out, eighth last paragraph. [news24]

Explore The Winelands Adventure Cycling And Wine Tasting – A South African first, Bikes ‘n Wines offers three different routes along private farm roads accommodate personal preferences and are easy to cycle, leaving you to take in the natural splendour of the majestic surrounds. Sample some of South Africa’s finest wines and brandies, enjoy a hearty farm style lunch or deli picnic, swim in a farm dam and learn about this beautiful region steeped in heritage whilst you breathe in the crisp air pedal by pedal. [bikesnwines]

DSTV Considers Porn Package – MultiChoice is considering broadcasting pornography and the possibility of creating new sex channels on DStv’s satellite pay-TV service. “MultiChoice is using e-mails for market research purposes to test the interest in various broadcasting options, such as the broadcasting of “mixed pornography” (hardcore porn between 21:00 and 05:00 and soft porn between 05:00 and 21:00), hardcore porn 24 hours per day, or soft porn 24 hours per day on DStv. [news24]

Pieter Dirk Uys Has A Message For The Media – When a journalist who could not attend Julius Malema’s morning briefing with the media (Feb 22nd) contacted ANC Youth League spokesman Floyd Shivambu about the issue, the answer was: ‘You are out of order. Fuck off!’ If you are reading this and have any contact with members of newspapers, radio, television, blogs or social media like FaceBook and Twitter, spread the news: “Julius Malema wants the media to fuck off. The media will do just that!” [artlink]

America’s Wealthiest Religions – It’s no secret that the distribution of wealth is inequitable in the United States across racial, regional, and socio-economic groups. But there is a distinct variance among and within America’s faiths as well. This transparency takes a look at the income levels of America’s major religious groups, as compared to the average U.S. income distribution. [goodis]

Going Green Is Seriously Seductive In The Mercedes F 800 – Mercedes-Benz, like everyone else on the planet, is experimenting with plug-in hybrids. But it’s still betting heavily on hydrogen. Now it’s combined the two in a head-turning high-end “multi-drive” concept car that can run on batteries or a fuel cell. The F 800 Style builds upon the technology underpinning the S 400 Hybrid and the B-Class F-Cell and wraps it in seriously seductive bodywork. [wired]

Tom Hanks Buys New $26M Pad – Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have just purchased the former Pacific Palisades residence of producers Kathleen Kennedy and Frank Marshall. Designed by New York based Gwathmey Siegel & Associates, the four-bedroom, 14,500- square-foot home sold for over $26 million, and is already expected to be one of the biggest real estate buys in 2010. [huffers]

97 Year Old Wins The Lottery – A poverty-stricken 97-year-old man in Vietnam won up to $400 000 (about R3-million) in a lottery, a report said on Tuesday, sparking a frenzy among relatives eager to get a piece of his newfound wealth.A neighbour in southern Ho Chi Minh City and local officials had to step in to stop the elderly man from giving away the windfall to people who had swarmed to his home. [iol]

[thanks jessica, justin, mirko, charlie]

The Grand Café hit the scene a few years ago, after the building it occupies sold for a record sum. The Camps Bay strip welcomed them in place of the abortion that was Opium – giving us an upmarket dining alternative (if you must consider any of the other “upmarket/fine dining” alternatives in Camps Bay). It was well received and reflected the theme and style that made The Grand Hotel in Plettenberg Bay such a success.

The Grand

Good reviews and a smattering of issues to do with service, did the rounds in Cape Town, allowing The Grand to take their recipe for success one step further, with the launch of The Grande Café & Beach, A Nikki Beach / Blue Marlin style concept on the rocks in Granger Bay.

Whilst there certainly is a want for such an establishment, one wonders if this may have been a bit premature? And when I say premature, I am referring to the service complaints that were not fully addressed (fixed) at The Grand in Camps Bay. The result seems to be a brand spreading itself a bit thin over two Cape Town locations, resulting in a spiraling backlash from Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard and beyond.

The emails I have received over the couple months from 2oceansvibe readers about the service at The Grand (both Camps Bay and Granger Bay) and the nightmares when it came to booking and getting a table were gaining momentum, as I found myself waiting over an hour to get a booked table the other night. We arrived at 7 and ate at 10.

Then I got this from a well-heeled Clifton friend who mixes in very glamorous circles:

Just been wondering what you think of the service / booking at the Grand on the beach? I had a very kak experience with them last weekend which left me feeling rather cross. Anyone else had complaints?

I wanted it to go away because the image was so appealing. But that’s all it was. I tried so hard to pretend it wasn’t happening – but the noises were too great. And then I stumbled upon this, the latest complaint (this last weekend) I found at LivingStylishlyWell :

The Grand Restaurant – a blight on the Camps Bay landscape

Read the entire article here.

I’ll give you the closing paragraphs for now:

Thoroughly exasperated at this stage we went downstairs to the lower level to pay and saw Theo again. We asked if the very least he could do was not to either say ’sorry, give us a coffee or horror of horrors ‘comp’ us the meal’.

Theo’s answer? ‘I think you should leave, this has never happened before.’

We left. Never, ever to return again.

Compare this to a great breakfast at the Sandbar, superb service and vibe at Caprice and amazing value and vibe at Bayside Cafe (all on the strip, all competing with one another). In the next issue of Cape Odyssey, I’ll be talking again about two restaurants which have raised the bar in 2010 – Marianas and Heaven.

The Grand? I hear the rustling of feathers as post-World Cup chicken, prepare to come home to roost.

They will deserve it.

Dear friends and readers – avoid. 7Eleven sandwiches will leave you feeling much happier with life.

[more here]

(And here’s yet another article on another blog called Jamie Who.)

It’s too loud now. The noise. We can’t ignore it any longer. I’m afraid the “teething problems” time period has lapsed. This is now, quite simply, a problem.

Have you tried out the new Grand? Have you had service issues at either Grand?

Do let us know – and hopefully the owners will have the good sense to address it. Make no mistake, we want it to work. If, however, you have had only pleasant times, go ahead and let us know.