2oceans Vibe

Our rabid international fan should know that a South African “braai” is our version of a BBQ.

Mainly ‘cos we’re awesome.

New Standard Operating Procedures released today – please learn

BRAAI RULES

We are about to enter the BRAAI season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BRAAI the following chain of events are put into motion:

Your basic braai

ROUTINE

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables and makes desert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. he thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘ her night off ‘, and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

Seems a bit unfair, no?

Naaah!!

[thanks dave]

Twilight… twilight… TWILIGHT! The word still sends shivers up and down my spine as I think of the young tweens gnashing their teeth like wolverines and vampires at the chance of sinking their teeth into Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner or if they’re not too hungry Kristen Stewart. It’s a good thing they didn’t release Twilight: Eclipse in 3D, otherwise cinemas could have literally turned into a feeding frenzy with tweens reaching out and biting whatever’s within reach in the hopes of uniting with their on-screen Twidols.

It’s true… monsters are still in and nothing can be more erotic than having one kidnap you and take you “sight-seeing” on the Empire State Building or falling prey to their blood lust as they “take a nibble”. Twilight: Eclipse is a mixer for werewolves and vampires, but this is no ordinary Halloween fancy dress party – it’s the real deal, where humans can and do fall in love with these sensual “beasties” – hey, it technically happened in Beauty & The Beast. Bestiality aside… the new Twilight installation is here and the Twihards aren’t going to go down without a fight in trying to make you understand!

Catch the rest of the review and the trailer after the jump…

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This has been in the news cycle for about a week now, so it’s not exactly hot off the press stuff. Nevertheless, I thought you ought to know that a restaurant in Arizona is GRINDING UP OUR EFFING LIONS FOR BURGER MEAT.

Didn’t any of those cruel bastards watch the lion king? I’m not feeling the love tonight today. Apparently, the lion-eating restaurateur planned to serve the burgers as a sweet little homage to South Africa’s hosting of the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Sigh.

Thankfully, everyone’s come to their senses, and the restaurant that’s serving the King of the Onion Ring Jungle has received a few bomb threats from animal activists who would probably prefer people to be ground up for burgers.

Everyone, let’s just calm down. It gets a little weirder. The source of the lion meat has been discovered.

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News items like this only come around once every few years. They remind you of why Ian Fleming was such a genius, as he churned out the iconic James Bond novels – most of which featured extremely hot woman spies. With Kim Jong il as today’s real-life Bond villain, and this smoking hot Russian spy the FBI found in New York, my call-up as James Bond should be imminent..

“Anna Chapman” – The spy who loved me..

Check this story out – it’s magical..

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Cape Town Woman Blows Too Hard – Any sexual innuendos in that headline were purely coincidental, as we learn about Yvonne, the Cape Town woman who got too keen with her Vuvuzela and ended up rupturing her throat. “Ripping her windpipe” is how they also described it. Check her pic out after the jump. I must say, she doesn’t look like a chick who would struggle. [failblog] (you’re welcome, 5FM)

England Return To England – See what I did there? So here’s a story from SKY News, where they back the England side, then punish them, then pick them up again and then dump them again at the end. This, as the side returns home with their heads bowed. Expect for some, who were laughing. But it wasn’t their fault. But they’ve let us down. But they’re tired from the Premiership. But they’re losers. Etc. [skynews]

SAA Crew Charged With Even More Cocaine Smuggling – For the third time in less than two years, British authorities are investigating an alleged attempt by an SAA crew member to smuggle drugs through Heathrow International Airport.A senior SAA flight attendant from Cape Town is in British police custody after allegedly being found with more than R1 million in cocaine strapped to her body. Come on, guys.. again? [iol]

World Cup Update…

Vodacom Tells ICASA To Go Fuck Themselves – It takes a certain audacity, not to mention arrogance and long experience, to walk into a public hearing – open to any of your customers who may wander along – and tell the regulator that controls your entire industry to take a hike, because that regulator wants to force you to stop price-gouging your customers. That is pretty much how Vodacom approached the Independent Communications Authority of SA on Monday. [thedailymaverick]

Forbes Releases New “Most Powerful Celebrities” List – Pants-less pop stars, late-night warriors and sexy vampires spiced up the fame game last year, with Lady Gaga, Conan O’Brien and Twilight superstars Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson joining the Forbes Celebrity 100 list for the first time.But despite their impressive debuts (Gaga hit the list in fourth place), Oprah Winfrey is the year’s big winner. [forbes]

China Tunes Google To Be Very Careful About Their Vibe – Google Inc. said Tuesday it will stop automatically rerouting users of its China search site to its Hong Kong site after Beijing threatened the company with the loss of its Internet license. Google shut down its China-based search engine March 22 to avoid cooperating with the communist government’s Internet censorship and has rerouted users to its unfiltered site in Hong Kong. But Google’s internet license expires today.. [associated]

Man Missing on Chapman’s Peak – The NSRI are appealing to anyone with information on the current whereabouts of a Sunvalley, Noordhoek, resident who has been missing since Saturday night after last being seen wandering on the slopes of Chapman’s Peak below Chapman’s Peak Drive. Nigel Roberts, 34, wearing khaki pants and a white and red two tone t-shirt. Photo after link. Keep your eyes open, gang. [nsri]

The Truth About Mel’s Ex – The relationship between Mel Gibson and his ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, has become a tabloid war over allegations of domestic violence. Daily Beast’s Nicole LaPorte looks into Grigorieva’s mysterious past. “shying away from the spotlight is hardly how friends, acquaintances, and ex-boyfriends have described the 40-year-old pop star with the cascading hair” [dailybeast]

Porn Sites To Get “XXX” Domain Extension – The pornography industry and the Christian conservative lobby (what a rad combo!) don’t usually agree on much but the two groups are united this lunchtime in opposition to a proposal to create a new domain name catering specifically for pornography on the Internet. This, as the international body which allocates names and numbers on the net recently gave conditional approval for the tag “dot – triple x” to be used. [abc]

Pope To Re-Evangelize” The West – Hmm. Pope Benedict XVI is creating a new Vatican office to fight secularization and “re-evangelize” the West — a tacit acknowledgment that his attempts to reinvigorate Christianity in Europe haven’t succeeded and need a new boost. Well I’m glad he has spotted there’s a problem. Good luck with that, by the way. [associated]

Tsk tsk.. Kimora Lee Simmons In SA: Diva Behaviour – As much as reports suggest that she was an absolute sweetheart during her time in South Africa, it seems this may not be true with regards to her vibe before and during a recent Cosmopolitan cover shoot. Five hours late was only the beginning. And the shots themselves? Apparently the Photoshopping would verge on moral dilemma.. [hurricanevanessa]

Eskom Going On Strike During The World Cup – The National Union of Mineworkers’ (NUM) leaders have voted to go on strike at Eskom from next week. “They’ve taken a decision to go on strike. They will mobilise (Wednesday) and go on strike from next week,” spokesperson Lesiba Seshoka said on Tuesday. The decision was taken despite the possibility that a strike may be illegal. Excellent vibe, guys – shot! [fin24]

Massive Oil-Skimming Super-Tanker Arrives In The Gulf – 10 stories tall and nearly four football fields long, the world’s largest oil skimmer dropped anchor Friday in Norfolk, on its way to the Gulf of Mexico and a possible bout with the biggest oil spill in U.S. history. It’s called A Whale and “can handle 500,000 barrels of oily water a day – slightly less than what all the skimmers now in the Gulf have gathered in more than 60 days on the job.” [hamptonroads]

Further Advancements In Internet Radio Technology – Those of you who’ve been tuning-in to online radio will enjoy this. RadioTime, Inc., a developer of technology for finding and listening to radio online, today announced it provides its Internet radio guide to the Dension Webradio, a small USB dongle that can bring the world’s radio stations and programs to any USB-capable home entertainment system or car radio. [rsnews]

Ras Dumisani Is Back – Loathed by millions for butchering the SA national anthem ahead of a Springbok Test in France last year (here), Ras Dumisani has attempted to redeem himself by releasing a reggae version of Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrika. I haven’t listened to it yet – I’m still recovering, to be honest. Are you going to listen? Do you care? Probably not. Let us know if you you do. [sport24]

[thanks dave, clinton]

[image source]

[WC scores: Google]

Amazon sales of the vuvuzela have increased 1000% – did you know that? But that’s not all – The first vuvuzela was blown in Camps Bay by Christian Stewart in the late 50′s – did you know that?

Ok, I was kidding about one of those statements. But which one is it? Check out the vibe below and find out.

Well done, vuvuzela data mining people.

True Bellucci fans will be yelping and whooping at this stage, wholly convinced that this is indeed one of the world’s greatest beauties. And she is – make no mistake of that, my friend. Please welcome the newest 2oceansvibe Tuesday Tabs Ambassador, Monica Bellucci!

Let’s break it down for the layman out there:

Bellucci was born in Città di Castello, Umbria, Italy,[2][3] the daughter of Maria Gustinelli, a painter, and Luigi Bellucci, who owned a trucking company. Bellucci started modelling at 16, when she was attending the Liceo classico. Initially pursuing a career as a lawyer, Bellucci modeled to pay her tuition at the University of Perugia, but the lifestyle tempted her away from her law studies. She speaks Italian, French, and English fluently, Spanish semi-fluently, and she has had speaking roles in each of these languages as well as in Aramaic for her part as Mary Magdalene in The Passion of the Christ.

She was also in The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions.

[more here]

Four languages and played Mary Magdalene?

Umm, yes please!

But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here to get a little closer to Monica – to really see what makes her tick! I must warn you though, the next page you load up will contain a pair of woman’s breasts!

Ja, I’m serious, bru..

This is obviously not something that a child should see and, because your company treats you like a child, then you shouldn’t be looking at it either. Seriously, it starts with a pair of breasts….. next thing you’ll be making nuclear weapons.

NSFW image after the link..

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I was feeling particularly generous this morning, so I decided to find a solution to Seth’s toast problem.

Enter the personal flame thrower.

How awesome is this? For just a thousand US dollars, you can have hard toast whenever, and wherever you want.

And there’s an added benefit, Seth. Talking to the manager is effective, but asking women and children to stand back before lighting up your table is way, way more punchy.

Picture it…The staff are in shock, people are on the verge of freaking out…You saunter slowly over to a smouldering table, retrieve your toast from the licking flames (with a sword – you need a sword too), and bite into that little sucker with a crunch, before proclaiming, “Man, THAT’S good toast.”

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It is a pity that successful breakfasts are so hard to come by in Cape Town. the two most important things, crispy bacon and hard toast, are still, clearly, too much to ask.

The Muse and I made the fatal error of getting breakfast at the Waterfront on Saturday morning. Why were we not at Miss K you ask, given that we were in the area? Good question, Aguado. Well, there were many reasons, not least of which was the fact that we had to pick up some gear at Puma (*cough* please enjoy my new Kehinde Wiley’s).

So we ended up grabbing breakfast at a place upstairs, who were not branded in any way to suggest a particular lifestyle/religion. It was only after we sat down, grabbed a coffee, opened the paper and ordered brekkie, that we were informed that they do not serve any pork products whatsoever. They had confirmed when we walked in that they do serve breakfast, but hadn’t divulged the fact that they did not serve bacon and, seemingly, someone’s religion had got in the way of our breakfast. Not that we have a problem with speciality restaurants and/or religions – we’d just like you to make it more clear in your branding. This simple gesture (verbal or maybe even a little symbol on the branding?) would have avoided ruining most of my morning.

Not surprisingly, if you Google the word “breakfast” and flip over to image results, the very first image (in the world, on Google), shows a plate with eggs and bacon. It looks like we aren’t the only people who assume the pig.

It was pretty much downhill from there as my R60 omelette (with ingredients I wouldn’t have normally chosen, as they didn’t have ham) tasted like my new Puma’s and The Muse’s poached eggs came with about a liter of water in the middle of the plate. If you had just arrived, you would have thought we were lounging next to a plunge pool.

But the crowning moment was, as usual, the toast.. (wait for it)

Why is this so difficult to make?

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Angelina Jolie To Play Cleopatra – ​Claudette Colbert was divine as Cleopatra in 1934, but nothing can top Liz Taylor wearing ’60s style togas and makeup, croaking “Caesar, what’s boinin’?” Well, now, it’s been announced that Angelina Jolie will be the next Cleo, possibly with Brad as Marc Anthony. I have no doubt he’ll absolutely dominate. We have the same shades, after all.. [villagevoice]

FIFA Says No To Technology – Fifa has steadfastly refused to act on calls to introduce technology to arbitrate on contentious decisions after refereeing mistakes marred Sunday’s two last-16 matches at the Soccer World Cup. Fans and media around the world on Monday urged football’s world governing body to react to persistent demands for the introduction of technology to adjudicate on controversial refereeing decisions. [mail&guardian]

Prince Harry Takes a Tumble – Not as radical as Mark Webber flipping his car (below), Hazza Wales caused a scare Sunday when he was tossed on to his Royal Hindness by a feisty polo pony with a literal understanding of Buckingham Palace. The celebrity packed crowd at the Governor’s Island charity polo match gasped when the 25-year-old prince tumbled from his horse and landed on his bum. [nydailynews]

Sex Is Banned In The International Space Station – “We are a group of professionals,” said Alan Poindexter, a NASA commander, during a visit to Tokyo, when asked about the consequences if astronauts boldly went where no others have been. “We treat each other with respect and we have a great working relationship. Personal relationships are not … an issue.” Poindexter? What an awesome name! [telegraph]

Downing Street Lowers Flag After England Loses World Cup – The English flag hoisted over British Prime Minister David Cameron’s Downing Street office for the World Cup was lowered on Monday, hours after the nation’s crushing 4-1 defeat by Germany. “It’s been replaced by the Union flag,” a Downing Street spokesperson said, referring to the red, white and blue standard which normally flies above the central London address and represents the whole of the United Kingdom. [sport24]

X-Rated sweets Discovered In Cape Town – These kind of stories grow organically around these parts. A Cape Town mom says there is nothing sweet about these sweets. Crystal Klein, of Steenberg, said she was shocked and disgusted when her eight-year-old son Shaquile and his cousin Shadwyn Johnson, 10, came home with sweets that read “Let’s fuck” and “Suck my Cock”. Wow! Sorry, did you say your son’s name was Shaquille? [iol]

Woolies Enters The Booze Market – Retail group Woolworths Holdings said it is investigating opportunities in liquor retailing after successfully selling wine for some time. This comes shortly after the group announced it had discontinued its pharmacy project, which was undertaken in partnership with private clinics group Netcare. So far there are two pilot stores in place. One is in Blue Route in Cape Town and the other in Benmore, Johannesburg. [fin24]

Jannifer Capriati Drug Overdose – Troubled tennis star Jennifer Capriati has been rushed to hospital in the U.S. after a suspected drugs overdose, according to reports this morning. Paramedics responded to a call from a hotel in Riviera Beach, Florida, early yesterday morning, gossip website TMZ.com has reported. The 34-year-old’s father apparently told the website that his daughter is ‘recovering well’. [dailymail]

Pope Deplores “Sex Abuse” Raids – Pope Benedict has joined mounting Vatican criticism of raids by Belgian police investigating alleged child sex abuse, calling them “deplorable”. Several buildings were searched in raids targeting a retired archbishop and the graves of two prelates. I know! How dare they search buildings belonging to an organisation which, for decades, has protected/hidden pedophiles! [bbc]

The Black Eyed Peas Might Break Up Due To Will I Am’s Ego – Fergie is on the verge of leaving the Black Eyed Peas permanently as tension in the band has become intolerable for her. Fergie can’t stand Will.I.Am and that is one of the main reasons she wants to leave the band, a source close to them has revealed. The other reason is she’s decided she wants to have a baby! [radar]

Tom Cruise Cooking Show – Tom Cruise appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Kimmel Friday night and the two commenced what ostensibly was to be a cooking demo for Cruise’s spaghetti carbonara. Cruise “makes it for the kids,” and learned it “in London, from his good friend Tommy,” who “learned it in Italy from an Italian mama, so this is serious,” he tells Kimmel, before taking issue with the store-bought eggs on the set. Madness. [huffpo]

Mark Webber Formula One Crash Video – You might have heard that there was a monumental crash during Sunday’s Formula 1 “European” Grand Prix. Mark Webber was at the cockpit as his Red Bull car slammed into the wall. Emphasis on the word “cockpit” as he found himself flying through the air upside down, before hitting that wall. We found the footage – including camera from inside the car! [yourface ]

North Korea To Bolster Nuclear Deterrent – North Korea accused the U.S. of introducing heavy weapons to an area close to the border in what it said was a “premeditated provocation” that would prompt countermeasures, the official Korean Central News Agency said. Seriously guys, why are you trying to play with Our Dear Leader? Hello? Don’t you know that there was a double rainbow when he was born? [businessweek]

[thanks carryn]

A new study suggests that people prefer to travel South.

Real-world experiences underlie avoidance of northern routes, Brunyé proposes. Young children learn that as objects and locations get higher, they become harder to attain. Examples include reaching for a toy on the counter, climbing the stairs and jumping.

An ingrained notion that “up is difficult” then gets applied to other situations. When someone imagines traversing a northern and a southern path, the northern way feels higher and more physically demanding, Brunyé suggests.

Of course, where the esteemed academics described an innate desire to travel “south”, they specifically meant ‘Cape Town”.

Here on the Southernmost tip of the African continent (please, let’s NOT split hairs), the reasons for this might seem obvious. Seth, for example, might reasonably suggest that it is the unexplainable magnetic power of the “Radlantic” is the main predicator of this alleged “Southern Bias”. Maybe it’s our torrid winter.

Others may argue that the readers of this very blog, the Vibers, are inherently attractive.

All of this may be true, but it’s my sincere belief that humankind’s desire to travel in a Cape Town-bound direction is this, and this alone:

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I enjoyed “An Inevitable Production” at the bottom.

[thanks clinton]

There are a lot of iPhone apps out there and, as much as I would like to focus on all of them, my attention has been fully diverted to the new kid on the my block, the iPad. By the way, did I tell you that I subscribed to 12 issues of Wallpaper magazine for £27? That’s like three hundred bucks for 12 issues – delivered to your iPad before they hit the shelves in the US and UK. That’s virtually the same price as two issues here – if you bought them from Exclusive books or Woolies.

While we’re on the subject, how does 13 quid for 26 issues of Rolling Stone magazine sound? R150 for 12 issues of Rolling Stone! Come on, man – you’re having a laugh!

Sorry, back to the point of the story – so I haven’t been focussing on iPhone apps for a while. That was before I visited Barnet Fair for a haircut last week (you gotta check this place out – PROPER barber vibe near &Union on Bree Street – old-school barber chairs, vinyl records, barber pole etc. So the owner, Steven Pitt (no spice) show me this app, called “FatBooth.” those of you who know the app “OldBooth” should be told that this puts OldBooth to shame! Check it out – this is what it did to my vibe, as we considered what would happen if I ate all the pies.

Seth thoroughly enjoys pastry and deep-fried foods

Absolutely AWESOME result! How bad does the very spaced-out facial hair look? God, it’s great! Old Steven from Barnett Fair reckons he ran it by a more overweight friend of his who absolutely flipped when he did it for him, lamenting that the app is only truly humorous when used on leaner people.

Fair enough.

The above pic is very different to this portrait that Cape Town photographer, Morne Van Zyl did of me.

Just to fill you in, Morne is working on a “Portrait Project” and has been snapping pics of all sorts of people around Cape Town – many of whom you will recognise. You might even find Die Antwoord there..

I think it’s a great initiative and the guy clearly knows what he is doing. Go check out his website and see if you recognise anyone.

You gotta give the Dutch credit – they certainly get A for effort in the fandom stakes. I’ve received a tumultuous load of emails with these pics and didn’t know where to start. Luckily I found a fellow blogger, blacknotes.co.za had done the necessary.

Seriously – that’s nothing..

Crazy cars – crazy people..

Check it out:

What is 6km long and Orange? Led by an Orange double-decker the Dutch Supporters on route from their camp site in Pretoria to their next game against Japan in Durban.Their convoy travelled the 636 km route comprising of 175 campers, trucks, busses and jeeps – their convoy was 6 kms long.

[click here for the rest of the story and CRAZY pics!]

Aah, the Dutch.. what a treat! And thank you for throwing in the SA flags!

Good job, guys – and good luck!

BEST.WORLD.CUP.EVER!

[thanks wes]

The best thing about the Eyjafjallajokull eruption, besides its name, was the brace of rocking pictures that it produced.

At the forefront of the photographic excellence was the Boston Globe.

Luckily, the guys at the Boston Globe, in addition to being unbelievable photographers, also have a great sense of humour.

So ask yourself, what’s the only thing that could possibly improve the shots posted on the Big Picture?

Big fat, funny captions. Here’s a little taster of BP’s CEO answering a few pressing questions:

And there’s more where that came from, right after the jump.

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Germany Destroys England – Send Them Packing – Teamwork – that was the difference between England and Germany on Sunday evening. The English relied on flashes of brilliance from their lavishly paid collection of stars, while Germany played as a unit, worked together and worked for each other. In the end, the 4 -1 routing of the English was a justified result. [thedailymaverick]

Do You Want To Know Why? I’ve said it a million times. I call it the “Henman Curse” – you (the British press and supporters) build up your sportsmen and create so much expectation that you end up jinxing them. For a month leading up to Wimbledon, every year, Tim Henman would be drowned by headlines proclaiming, “This is Tim’s year!” By the time he gets there he is a complete wreck. And the same goes for every other British sport. *With five South Africans in the team, the English cricket side is currently exempt from this curse. [the-curse]

British Press Condemns England – English commentators launched scathing attacks on Monday on their football team’s dire performance against Germany which ended the country’s Soccer World Cup hopes, as calls mounted for Fabio Capello to quit. The Sun tabloid, which is Britain’s best-selling paper, headlined its front page with a message to the players: “You let your country down.” Then they went on about 1966.. [sport24]

BP Begins Fighting Oil Spill With Kevin Costner’s Oil-Separating Centrifuges – BP has been toying with the idea of using actor Kevin Costner’s Ocean Therapy technology to clean up the Gulf oil disaster for the past month. Once we got over the Waterworld jokes, we realized that the centrifuge-like device is actually fairly useful–it sits on a barge, sucks in dirty water, separates the oil, and deposits the clean water back into the ocean. [fastcompany]

Prince Harry Throws First Pitch At Mets Game – For a polo player, Prince Harry’s got a pretty regal pitching arm. The redheaded royal looked nervous before throwing out the ceremonial first ball at Citi Field Saturday. But after the announcer said, “Prince Harry, It’s your pitch!” his Royal Highness loosened his shoulders and threw the ball solidly into catcher Rod Barajas’ glove. Not that Harry can do any harm in the US.. [nydailynews]

10 Stellar iPad Apps That Will Blow You Away – The iPad is less than three months old, and already programmers have whipped up 9,000 apps for the fancy tablet. Right after it came out, we rounded up some apps we found intriguing. After diving into this media-savvy device, we’ve added a few more apps we consider to be gems, ranging from a web browser that’s better than Safari to a sheet music reader that teaches you piano. [wired]

The Trailer for the Facebook Movie Is Out and It Is Terrifying – Are you anticipating The Social Network as highly as we are? It’s this movie about a deranged psycho who kills people by strangling them with their own small intestines. No, wait. It’s about a nerd who founded a popular website. [gawker]

Jaguar XKR 75 Special Edition – Jaguar today dropped the first image and details on its new Jaguar XKR 75, which will debut at the 2010 Goodwood Festival of Speed on July 2.The model celebrates Jaguar’s 75th anniversary and delivers a combination of increased performance, stronger chassis and better steering control along with higher grip levels. [luxuo]

Mel Gibson Not Paying Child Support, Knocks Out Oksana’s Teeth – The mother of Mel Gibson’s love child last night hit out at the multi-millionaire actor, saying he is paying no child support for their nine-month-old daughter Lucia. Russian musician Oksana Grigorieva, 40, claims she has had to borrow money from friends because of the ‘cruelty’ of the 54-year-old Lethal Weapon star, who is worth an estimated £600 million. [maintenance / teeth]

Best Celebrity Twit Pics – Andy Roddick and Serena Williams embrace, Jeremy Piven poses with a tennis star, and Denise Richards has fun with a face mask. It’s these kind of glimpses into the celebrity’s grooming process that may just help get your head around Twitter and how useful it actually is! And that’s before you catch a glimpse of my Michael Jackson pose I tweeted the other day. [dailybeast]

Five Things You Didn’t Know About Mexico’s Drug War – Several hundred Mexicans have died in the last few weeks alone — adding to the toll of nearly 23,000 drug-related deaths since 2006.Beyond the warring gangs and struggle for drug-trafficking routes, here are five things about Mexico’s drug war that may surprise you. [globalpost]

Michael Jackson Glove Goes For $192,000 – Michael Jackson fans took home nearly a million dollars’ worth of the singer’s memorabilia a year after his death, including a sequined glove that sold for 192,000, Julien’s auction house said. The glove studded with Swarovski crystals that Jackson wore during his 1984 Victory Tour was among several trademark items of the “King of Pop” that sold for more than 10 times their estimated value during the Friday auction. [afp]

This Week’s Best iPhone Apps – In this week’s triumphantly multitasking app round up: iMovies, edited; NPR music, listened to; farms, tended; DC Comics, virtually collected; the elements, miniaturized and beautified; the iPhone 4′s gyroscope, put to use for some target practice, and more! [gizmodo]

SuperEna Lottery Jackpot Hits R1 Billion! – Tomorrow’s SuperEna Lottery jackpot is on EUR 92 which, in Rands, is over one billion! the jackpot has rolled over a number of times and now that it has reached this extreme figure, I thought you might be interested in getting involved. I am, and I have! Buy tickets safely online. [2oceansvibelottos]

Remember the time when you were talking to that perfectly normal friend-of-a-friend at a braai? He was into futures trading or whatever, and didn’t have any abnormal ticks of any kind. A totally enjoyable human being.

And then, WHAM, he tells you he’s crazy about Lego. Thirty years old, and still clinging to Lego.

You judged him, didn’t you? I know I judged him. Well, now we both feel like tools, because 19-year-old German, Fabian Moritz, just made Lego un-frikkin-believable.

Please, enjoy the Soccer World Cup 2010 in Lego, stop-motion animation style. That’s right. You can watch highlights of the last match in LEGO.

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What a fun show it was this morning! We gave out a ton of Havaianas slops and Sunglass Hut vouchers, we celebrated the life of Michael Jackson on this, the one year anniversary of his death. And by celebrated, I mean we played two of his tracks on VINYL – because that is very much how we roll. Plus we also gave away tons of free vida e coffee with the Portugal Twitter competition!

2oceansvibe Radio, featuring the King of Pop on vinyl..

We also got a world news update and of course a weekend weather update live on the line from E-TV’s Derek Van Dam, as we continued the World Cup topic with him, chatting about America’s chances in the tournament.

All-in-all a damn fun morning with some damn fine music!

Not to worry if you missed it, you can do what a lot of people do, which is download the podcast (or stream it online) and listen to it when it suits you! In your car, at work or at home. Because that’s how you roll..

PLAYLIST

Harder To Breathe – Maroon 5
Cry When You Get Older – Robyn
America, Fuck Yeah! – Team America
Tighten Up – The Black Keys
I Love College – Asher Roth
My Cape Town – I Scream And the Chocolate Stix
Fever – Elvis Presley
PYT (Pretty Young Thing) – Michael Jackson (vinyl)
1, 2, 3 – Naughty By Nature
So Bright – Vokab Kompany
The Choice Is Yours – Black Sheep
Just Good Friends – Michael Jackson & Stevie Wonder (vinyl)
Homewrecker – The Dirty Skirts
Love the Way You Lie – Eminem feat. Rihanna (current US iTunes #1)
We Belong Together – Mariah Carey (sure, why not!)
Heavy Cross – Gossip
Jizz In My Pants – Lonely Island
Kids – Robbie Williams & Kylie
Angel of Harlem – U2 (vinyl)

CLICK HERE FOR THE PODCAST

Oh yes, he’s gone and done it again. In case you missed the previous David Thorne‘s, be sure to catch Party in Apartment 3, Logo Design, the incredible Spider Drawing Emails, Blockbuster Video, Protecting The Community, Nowhere in the Bible Does Jesus have a Sword Fight and Don’t Even Reply.

Once you’ve done that, you can come back here and witness this, his latest killer email exchange with another very annoyed individual.

Check it out:

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.03am
To: David Thorne Subject:
Poster

Hi I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?”
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

And that’s where it all started going a bit crazy..

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