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Kim Jong Il Is The Greatest Golfer Of All Time
14 Jan 2011 by Andrew Gould in Kim Jong Il, Politics, Sport, World
Our Dear Leader, The Great and Beneficent Kim Jong Il has, after all these years of preserving its purity, seen it fit to allow his adoring public access to the great and magnificent Pyongyang Golf Complex. Players from all across the world (except South Korea, naturally) are invited to take part in the first North Korean Amateur Golf Open.
I, like you dear reader, can scarcely contain myself as the mere thought of being granted access to such an event stirs passions in me that I thought were only possible in the works of writers of romance and folly.
But No! It is true that from the 26th to the 30th of April 2011 the great Democratic People’s Republic of Korea will host the first North Korean Amateur Golf Open.
It is well known Our Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il is the greatest and most talented golfer in the history of man. As you almost certainly know, when he opened the Pyongyang Golf Complex in 1991 he posted a remarkable round of 38, on his very first ever round. This fabulous achievement of a 34 under par score included 11 holes in one and has never been equaled and never will be. The next best score anywhere in the world was poultry 57 on a par 71 course, only 14 under par. Pathetic.
Since this stupendous score has been made public rumours are that Jack Nicklaus has been seen furiously sharpening the blade of his katana, in order that he may ritually disembowel himself. And both Gary Player and Tiger Woods are said to have taken to heavy drink and now spend their waking hours feverishly pacing the halls of their palatial homes, muttering to themselves.
Now dear reader, you have the glorious privilege of taking part in this awe-inspiring event, for the insignificant figure of 999 Euros. A Chinese tour operator and British company Lupin Travel will get you there in style and the trip includes visas, the tournament, return train travel from China into North Korea, all meals, four nights in “five star hotel accommodation” and a wonderful tour of North Korea.
What a glorious and proud moment it is for us all. Huzza!
[Thanks, Emma]
[Source: Daily Mail]
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