2oceans Vibe

We all have our lapses of judgment. But some of us make such horrendously poor decisions that one simply has to ask, “What were they on?”. Every week we bring you three contenders in what can only be described as a battle of small wits. So, with great pleasure we present this week’s three La Fee Absinthe-Minded Moment of the Week finalists. Inside we have Schabir Shaik, Sepp Blatter, and the ANC Youth League. But who claims the prize for the most mindbogglingly foolish tomfoolery of the week? Click through to find out!

Third place – Schabir Shaik

Last Sunday, claims made by a terminally-ill Schabir Shaik that he was assaulted by a group of four drunk white men at the Papwa Sewgolum Golf Course Clubhouse in Durban were splashed across the front page of the Sunday Times. Shaik claimed that he had been brutally assaulted by the four would-be racists, when he intervened after hearing one or more of the group call president Jacob Zuma a k-bomb. Shaik’s claims have withered under relatively light scrutiny. Not one member of the club staff can coroberate his story, despite the alleged assault taking place in a confined space at a busy time. You probably were assaulted, Shabir. It’s not at all likely that you’re mining as much public sympathy as you can get your sticky little cuban-stained fingers on, seeing as you haven’t died yet.

Second place – The ANC Youth League

Everyone loves breakfast. Except for those struggling writer protagonists in gritty noir films, set in a bleak and uninviting New York. Those guys smirk at us “eaters”. Everyone else – happy people – enjoys breakfast. It’s a good meal. An egg is something worth celebrating. Especially so if it’s an egg between you and Julius Malema in the networking lounge of the 24th National ANCYL Congress. But before you dive in to the florentine, you should know that a chat with Idi Julius will set you back between R50 000 and R180 000. Giving access to a leader? Good idea. Whoring said leader? Bad idea.

The Winner – Sepp Blatter

In a week from hell Sweden, the iron-fisted ruler of the world’s most powerful sporting (and some may argue, political) organisation, FIFA managed to simultaneously avoid corruption charges, retain power in a one-man election, and confirm himself as the most evil and hated toady in the putrid halls of sports administration. What were you thinking, Sepp? You must surely have been drinking absinthe.