Back in our parents’ generation dating was so much simpler.
All you had to do was knock someone up at the drive-thru out of wedlock and bang, your whole life was mapped out for you.
Enter 2017, and it’s fair to say the goalposts have shifted somewhat. Much of that is down to Tinder, so if you’re dabbling in that pond then there are a couple of terms you might want to familiarise yourself with.
IOL have served up 14, but we’ve chopped it down to nice, round, juicy 10.
Benching
This is what happens when, as New York Magazine puts it, someone puts a romantic prospect “on the roster but not in play.”They might bench you by agreeing to a date, only to reschedule – maybe even several times. They’re keeping their options open and are probably dating multiple people at once.
Bread-crumbing
Similar to benching, there’s more communication than actual in-person interaction. As Esme Oliver describes in Salon, bread-crumbing is when someone sends “a consistent stream of really complimentary texts,” potentially saying he misses you, only to never follow up and make plans.
Cuffing season
It’s nearly upon us! Cuffing season is the period between October and February when it’s colder out [northern hemisphere plebs] and a regular Netflix and chill buddy seems more desirable than keeping your options open. As it gets darker in the winter, the body produces more melatonin, making us sleepy and groggy – “more like a homebody,” biological anthropologist Helen Fisher said. “The lack of light might make people want to stay in.”
Raya
Also known as “celebrity Tinder,” it’s an exclusive dating app for creative types with large Instagram followings. It’s where comedian Amy Schumer met her now-ex-boyfriend Ben Hanisch; and according to a list from Nylon, actress Sharon Stone, designer Alexander Wang and the DJ Dilpo are among its members.
Ghosting
When someone ends a relationship by cutting off all communication, perhaps because they’re scared of confrontation or they have a sense that the person they’re with is dangerous. Ghosting can happen when you’ve only been out a few times or even when things are serious.
Or when they’ve landed a free meal and drinks at your expense and are looking for the next free ride.
Sapiosexual
A person who finds someone’s intellect to be the sexiest thing about them. In 2014, online dating site OkCupid added sapiosexual to their list of sexual orientations.
This one is everywhere and let’s be honest, Tinder users aren’t swiping for brains.
Ship
Short for “relationship,” and used as a verb to say that you endorse or approve of two people – real or fictional characters – being together. (“I ship Ron and Hermione.”) It’s especially popular among the youths.
Slow fade
Not quite ghosting, this is when someone gradually backs away but doesn’t explicitly cut things off.
Stealthing
When a man removes his condom during sex, without his partner’s consent. When Alexandra Brodsky was a Yale law student, she researched stealthing and found that the practice was “widespread” among young, sexually active people, although her data was purely anecdotal.
Ha, good one guys. Remember the time that guy whipped off his johnny without telling his partner? A quick reminder – stealthing is rape.
Zombie-ing
When someone who’s ghosted their way out of a relationship tries to re-enter their ex’s life, it’s called zombie-ing. It can be as a simple as an ex who disappeared liking something on your Facebook or Instagram, sending a request to connect on LinkedIn or reaching out and trying to get together.
And here you were thinking it was just swipe, swipe and swipe.
Happy Tindering, and get ready for those shirtless selfies now that summer is approaching.
Also mention how you love animals and wine, just to set you apart from everyone else.
[source:iol]
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