I think it’s safe to say that hatin’ on Julius has now officially saved more conversations than the weather. Having said that, after a good rant most of us move on. Most of us. One Eastern Cape man, however, decided to put on a cape, jump on some cars and claim that he is a superman from the clouds, sent to kill Malema.
Some organisation by the name of “The Central Drug Authority”, is here to tell you how bad you are. Or, in the words of the authority’s acting chairman, Dr Ray Eberlein, “If we had a boozing world cup, South Africa wouldn’t even have to practise.” Duh, Dr Ray, we already had one. And I’m still hanging from it.
American mother and pillar of the criminally insane community, Wendy Werkit, identified a gap in the junk food market and took a leap of faith. “Why has no one thought of this yet”, she thought, as she put the finishing touches on her Facebook ad. “Fifty dollars isn’t bad for a ‘pox’ infected sucker”, she thought, as her brain fell out of her ass.
Looks like the only bottles in da club for Lil Weezy will be the ones filled with mineral water. Following his recent conviction for drug possession, the rapper isn’t allowed to consume alcohol or associate with anyone knowingly engaged in narcotics – good luck. Let’s see if he can last longer than (Camps Bay) “twenty minutes my broda”.
If this six-inch blade truly is the notorious murder weapon of the famed “Jack The Ripper”, than you can expect to see it fetch a pretty penny on auction. The knife was found in a stack of possessions belonging to Sir John Williams, the surgeon thought to be the infamous killer. A surgeon, with a surgeon’s knife? Never!
Did I mention that his fiancee was in his address book as well? According to Ronaldo, he was attempting to delete the Dutch fan’s saucy snaps (which included her in numerous half naked poses in a shirt with “too hot to handle” scrawled on the front), but pressed forward instead. Clearly something broke his concentration.
A new laser is to be built that is as powerful as “concentrating the rays of the sun for the entire earth onto the tip of a pen”. Scientists claim it could allow them boil the very fabric of space, AKA the vacuum. Because that’s a fantastic idea. It is official, mankind has a death-wish.
The machine, devised by a company called the Gitanjali Group, was launched at a central Mumbai shopping mall for the annual Hindu festival of lights, Diwali, on Wednesday. Prices range anywhere from R400 to R5 000, just in case you have that lying around for some last minute gifts.
I’m almost certain that when Jeff Hindman found the 50-kilo exact toy replica, floating in knee-deep water he probably thought someone had spiked his sun cream with liquid acid. Fortunately, it was just part of a creepy Dutch artist’s experiment, for what I’m not exactly sure.
If you’re still searching for a costume, in the hopes that you’ll win that bartab for best dressed this Halloween, you’d better hope this guy doesn’t rock up to the same party. Not only does it look like a DSLR, it’s fully functional as well. It actually snaps a photo, accompanied by a flash, and displays the image at the back.
When reversing genetics in an attempt to create a real, live, man-eating dinosaur, it pays to know what the consequences may be. In this case, being the paleontologist who advised Steven Spielberg on the making of four Jurassic Park movies and decades of children’s nightmares about killer lizards should just about cover it.
It’s good to know that somewhere, someone is still celebrating in true World Cup style. Unfortunately for Toni Nicholson, she took things a little too far. Her neighbours’ complaints include all night parties, hurtling of things off balconies and the fact that they haven’t slept in a year. Good thing they weren’t anywhere near Cape Town in 2010 then.
With more South Africans refusing to be counted, our friends at Stats SA have begun resorting to, well, mildly extreme measures. Their application, which was submitted to the courts, requests permission to enforce the provisions of the Statistics Act. Basically, if you don’t comply they can throw your naughty ass in jail for 6 months or slap you with a R10 000 fine.
A group of four copycats told police they used techniques from his recent movie, “The Town”, after they were arrested for a string of 62 small time, New York robberies. In the film, a group of four friends rob a string of banks and always douse the scene with bleach, destroying any DNA evidence that may have been left behind.
Being rich is hard. Especially when it comes to road trips. It’s always an issue of “The Ferrari’s too small”, or “I wish my mansion had wheels”. Enter, the Elemment Palazzo. This bad boy not only brings an element of average American retiree to your life, it also has 40” TVs, a rainfall shower and a fireplace in it.
It seems Apple’s new iOS5 operating system for the iPhone 4S has a new surprise around every corner. The App in question uses GPS, and if your friend agrees, it allows you to see their location, give or take a few metres. Unfortunately, one poor guy on Macrumours.com found another use for it, after installing it in his wife’s new handset.
Sailing around the world, stopping off to bask in the sun on white sandy beaches and exploring the hidden treasures of beautiful remote Pacific islands; these were, most likely, on Stefan Ramin’s lists of things to do when he set out on his adventures. Getting eaten by a cannibal tour guide however, was not.
Herbert Chavez, a Filipino fashion designer, has taken his love for Superman a little further than most of us could possibly imagine. When I say a little, I mean he’s spent a decade undergoing plastic surgery to make himself look like a feminine Clark Kent. Let’s face it. People are weird.
The latest in a series of phenomenally creative, Hollywood movie style smuggling stories involves false-bottomed cars, parking meters and a total of 16 tunnels. Of course no one was caught in the act, but if you guessed that the tunnels were supposed to be filled with drugs and some very naughty Mexicans, you’d be correct.
In another grand display of state the obvious, a brainy police spokesperson pointed out that a collection of loaded assault rifles found on the set of World War Z, were a “disaster waiting to happen”. A SWAT team recently raided the set, which was located in a warehouse in Budapest.
Being hard of hearing is most likely difficult enough as it is. So, you can imagine the anger of some BBC viewers when errors in the live captions started talking about “pigs nibbling on willies”, instead of wellies, and spoke of “a moment’s violence”, instead of silence, at the Queen Mother’s funeral.
This shitcrazy group of extreme jacuzziers have just made your Friday. The group, who are members of the organisation, jacuzzi.ch, suspended themselves 153 metres in the air from the Gueuroz Bridge in Switzerland, with naught but cables and ropes keeping them up. They then proceeded to set up a special platform where they chilled, ate cake and drank champagne in a mid-air jacuzzi. Definitely bucket list material.
In another case of “Why didn’t I think of that?”, a Belgian record label that goes by the name of SonicAngel, identifies future stars by tracking trends on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. Not only that, they also allow fans to invest in the artists’ success, with a six monthly return on their initial investment. Brilliant.
You may recall a previous article on the three-times widowed, fantastically wealthy Duchess of Alba’s proposed remarriage to Alfonso Diez, a man 24 years her junior. I’m pretty sure the last thing anyone (especially her) wanted popping up was a topless photo of that 85-year-old struck match, on the cover of a magazine. Lawsuit, here we come. [No pics. Naughty.]
One can understand the anger of Dan Castellaneta (Homer Simpson), Julia Kavner (Marge) and Nancy Cartwright (Bart) when Fox Television explained that they would be receiving a 45% pay cut. The broadcasting network claims they can’t afford production costs and, if the actors won’t budge, they’ll pull the plug. I think I speak for everyone when I say: Fox you, Fox.
With another Oktoberfest coming to a close in Munich on Monday, the hung-over locals deserve to start boasting about their accomplishments. 7,9 million litres of beer were consumed by festival goers, despite this year’s price per litre rising to 9 Euros (R96, 00). Beeeeer.
In the latest auction by Nominet (a company which runs Britain’s web infrastructure), Facebook, Google and Mercedez Benz were among several big name companies which reportedly bid on single letter web addresses. The auction helped raise £3 million for the Nominet Trust, a charity that promotes safe internet access.
The study, which took place over a two-year period, is based on a “mood analysis” of some 509 million posts from 2,4 million users. Researchers found that our outlook varies greatly depending on the time of day, the day of the week and the season, with our moods improving as the summer solstice nears and over weekends. So basically it’s a study of what we already know. Kiff.
For all those shallow Hal’s, cheap dates and general sloppy drunks (we all know at least one), this little guy’s for you. The “stay-sober pill”, is still in development stages, but is said to allow you to drink as much as you want and still stay sober as a judge. Or prevent you from getting laid.