You might have spotted the new Cosmopolitan Mag on the shelves which happens to be their annual Beach Babe Summer Special, which includes the 66-page Swimwear guide. I can confirm that is is very hot. I slept next to mine the first night I had it.

We spooned.   

Back to the point of this article – there is something quite silly happening on wednesday, 11 November. Basically, it’s gonna be Bikini City. I can just picture it. There will be hordes of angels prancing around in bikini’s on and off the ramp – whilst you and I sip on cocktails and flutter around the room, undressing each other with our eyes. Because that’s how it was meant to be. And that’s how it always is at the annual Cosmopolitan Swimwear Fashion Show and Summer Party!

Check it out here, as well as how and where to get tickets.

Cosmopolitan magazine’s popular Summer issue is out now and, in true Cosmo style, sets the tone for the hottest months of the year. The issue features a 66-page special shot in Egypt in partnership with Max Factor and showcases the latest in beachwear, from metallics, animal prints, bohemian-inspired fabrics to the very popular vintage styles.

The brands featured in this year’s Cosmo Summer issue are Speedo, Woolworths, Davidoff, Sunglass Hut, Vawter, Clicks, Max Factor, Scott & Wells, Havaianas, AC Activewear and Hang Ten.

To kick start the summer fun, Cosmo will host its annual Summer party at Ignite in Camps Bay, Cape Town on the 11^th of November. All the summer fashion featured in the magazine will be showcased at the Egypt-themed fashion show and the party promises to set the tone for summer. Tickets to the event are available at Computicket outlets or online at www.computicket.co.za.

For any queries contact Melissa Beukman n 011 262 3244.

For more Cosmo, go to www.cosmopolitan.co.za

Shame, it sounds just AWFUL, don’t you agree?

We really must try our best not to go. Seriously, there is nothing I hate more than models and bikini’s (and topless guys in boardshorts for the girls) and cocktails and smooth tunes as the sun sets over Camps Bay.

Sis.

Very poofie..

So anyway we’re giving away 5 pairs of tickets to you, the lucky 2oceansvibe readers. All you have to do to win the tickets is email editor@2oceansvibe.com with subject “Cosmo Compo” and tell me who is on the cover of the latest Cosmopolitan mag (the cover is red and it’s not the angel in the image above.)

Competition closes on Friday 6 November at 17h00 and, as always, is only open to 2oceansvibe Subscribers.

CLICK HERE to SUBSCRIBE to the VIBE.

Heidi Klum Dipped in Chocolate
[Bum pic: here]

Heidi Klum Dipped In Chocolate – Not the WORST thing I can think of. Heidi Klum made chocolate a whole different kind of sexy, if these pictures from the just-released coffee table book Heidilicious by the photographer Rankin, are anything to go by. The supermodel took a healthy dip in chocolate sauce (while in the buff) for some of the pictures. [buy in SA / buy in UK]

Church Online: Believers Can Worship On Web, ‘Click To Accept Christ‘ – Church volunteers greet visitors entering the lobby. The worship band begins its set and a pastor offers to pray privately with anyone during the service. When the sermon is done, it’s time for communion, and the pastor guides attendees through the ritual. Later, worshippers exchange Facebook and e-mail addresses so they can stay in touch. [huffpo]

The Secret Shame of Social Networking: How Silicon Valley Got Hooked on Scammers – Silicon Valley pundits like to talk about social media as a potential geyser of cash. What they leave out is that one of the only ways social networks like Facebook, MySpace have done that is joining league with online scammers. [valleywag]

Mel Gibson and Girlfriend Welcome a Baby Girl – Actor Mel Gibson and his Russian girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva are celebrating the birth of a daughter, according to media reports. Gibson, 53, announced in May that his girlfriend was pregnant. Celebrity website RadarOnline.com said 39-year-old Grigorieva gave birth on Friday, a few weeks early. [abc]

Does This Recession Make Me Look Fat? – In light of the economic downturn, consumers have been scaling back—on food that’s actually good for them. Sales of potato chips and other quick-payoff snacks are way up, and even though people are cooking at home rather than dining out to save money, what they’re preparing in the kitchen is more likely than ever to involve a microwave oven. [time]

Bolt Adopts “Lightning Bolt” – The world’s fastest man adopted the animal kingdom’s fastest sprinter Monday, as Puma’s Usain Bolt welcomed a new baby cheetah named “Lightning Bolt” into his life. The Jamaican sprinter’s sponsorship of the three-month-old male cheetah is part of an effort to boost Kenyan conservation efforts of its famous wildlife. [sport24]

Ford Posts an Unexpected Profit of $1 billion – The Ford Motor Company on Monday posted a surprise third-quarter profit of $997 million and said it had had its first profitable quarter in North America in more than four years. The carmaker also said that, at least temporarily, it had stopped rapidly burning through its much-needed cash reserves. It reported positive cash flow of $2.8 billion during the quarter, ending September with $23.8 billion. [nytimes]

Fahrenheit 2010 Trailer – Some guys have made a movie about what they think is really going on with the 2010 South Africa Soccer World Cup. “As the clock ticks down, and the nations of the world anticipate the beautiful games showpiece, questions are being asked about what will happen after the trophy is lifted, the caravans move on, and the dogs stop barking.” [youtube]

Tower of London Suspends BeefEaters in Harassment Inquiry – The Tower of London has suspended two beefeaters as part of an investigation into alleged harassment of its first female Yeoman Warder. A third is under investigation over charges of bullying Moira Cameron, 44, who two years ago became the first female beefeater in the tower’s 1,000-year history. [guardian]

Robbers Had Worst Disguise Ever – It’s been labelled the worst disguise ever – two men arrested over a burglary attempt in the US were found with fake beards and masks scrawled on their faces with a permanent marker. Police stopped the car of Matthew McNelly, 23, and Joey Miller, 20 after it matched the description of a vehicle used by two men who allegedly tried to break into an Iowa apartment last Friday night. [stuff]

Taking It From Behind – Yes, amazingly, that is the title of a book available on Amazon. “Taking It from Behind: From Boycott to Blewett: Cricket’s Changing Face in Yorkshire’s Quest for Glory”. Surely someone should have warned them beforehand? I mean, come on! [amazon]

Travel Company Gives Free Trips to Bloggers – Yokmok is a clever little system which trades travel for articles. Tailor made for adventurer bloggers, they say, “We ask you to share your experience of the trip by blogging at least one entry per day during the trip, 4 entries before the trip starts, and 4 entries after the trip ends. In each entry there will be at least one direct link to YokmoK’s website.” Very clever.. [yokmok]

New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens ‘It’s Gay To Smoke’ – The Onion launched a new video today that imagines a world in which anti-tobacco groups used homophobic rhetoric to get kids to stop smoking. Although it is a satirical website, this may well cause some upset. [theonion]

[thanks michael, athol, tomas, leon]

Well this is a first for the 2oceansvibe Tuesday Tabs department! We’ve brought you Tuesday Tabs every week for nearly three full years and have managed to maintain a certain level of quality and class. Sometimes the readers send in options for us to consider, and sometimes we find it ourselves. And I thought we had seen it all!

Quite recently we received an email from a reader (Dave M – thank you kindly) with a photo of the most beautiful angel we’ve seen for quite some time. There was no information on her and, following further requests, we were informed that the girl in question was a 21-year-old Ukranian angel by the name of Yara. But that’s not all – it turns out she is a dancer from Cape Town’s premier gentleman’s club, Mavericks! And what’s more, she also happens to be MISS Mavericks 2008! Whooah!

The reader had a contact who was apparently involved behind the scenes in the 2008 Miss Mavericks competition and had access to some high quality pics of said angel, Yara. We were very impressed with how classy the pics were and thought you would appreciate her featuring as this week’s Tuesday Tabs installment!

So here it is, ladies and gents, Miss Mavericks 2008, Yara!

Click image for tasteful yet NSFW image of
Yara – Miss Mavericks 2008

I’ll be honest – I’m very impressed! But not as impressed as you’ll be when I tell you that I had a peep at the Mavericks Website and can confirm that Yara is still very much a feature at the club!

Nice.

Real nice..

[thanks dave]

I think a massive round of applause is due for the 2oceansvibe Weathergirls featured in this year’s highly anticipated Sports Illustrated SWIMWEAR EDITION – including Elbe van der Merwe, Lyndall Jarvis and Genevieve Morton!

But there could only be one cover girl, and, although she has not yet been a 2oceansvibe Weather Girl, this year the prestigious accolade went to former Romanian high jumper, Catrinel Menghia..

Catrinel Menghia
Very kak  

I went to the launch party at HQ in Cape Town on Thursday (hosted by 2oceansvibe Character and 94.5FM DJ (3pm to 7pm drive show), Richard Hardiman (”Harders“).

It should be noted at this point that we ran into eTV weather man, Derek van Dam and it’s pretty much a FACT that he will be a 2oceansvibe Weathergirl in the near future.

Anyway, check out this release:

The most anticipated magazine promotion of the year, the Sports Illustrated Swimwear Edition 2009 hits shelves on the 19th October 2009 amidst much hype and fanfare.

At an exclusive party held at HQ in Cape Town on Thursday 15th October, former Romanian high jumper, Catrinel Menghia was revealed as the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimwear cover model.

This stunning, internationally sought-after beauty was just 16 years old when she was discovered walking out of the athletics stadium in her hometown of Lasi, Romania. Since then, Catrinel has travelled the world modeling for major fashion houses, such as Giorgio Armani. She has featured as a Peroni girl and has graced the pages of many world-renowned magazines. The 24-year-old showcases some of this summer’s hottest bikinis in what has to be one of the sexiest, most stylish and sophisticated SI Swimwear shoots in the magazine’s proud history.

Sports Illustrated and Nashua have set new standards with this year’s offering. Shot on location in exotic Zanzibar, the sizzling 2009 edition features 11 of the world’s sexiest models gracing 144 pages of pure paradise. This year’s hotties include:

New Guess face – Candice Boucher
The ever-popular Swimwear models – Dominique Piek and Genevieve Morton
Wonderbra extraordinaire – Elbe van der Merwe
Blonde Eastern European bombshell – Valeria Koryts’ka
And the five Swimwear newbies – Lyndall Jarvis, Shashi Naidoo, Shane van der Westhuizen, Marzaan Kalis and Tanya Manganyi

*Highighted names indicate 2oceansvibe Weather Girls.

Get your hands on the Sports Illustrated Swimwear Edition 2009 – the hottest magazine on the shelves this summer!

To see more images of the Swimwear models, head to the Sports Illustrated Swimwear website on http://www.simag.co.za

Pics from the launch:

The Incredible Schalk, Lyndall Jarvis, Adriaaan and Elbe
Among others..

“Biff” – having a very kak time

You need to appreciate how awesome the latest issue is. You need to get your head around how crazy gorgeous the angels are. My God! I want to scan and show you some of the pics, but I can’t. That would be naughty.

Just trust me.

A few weeks back I did a story on the three ELLE Magazine covers that were sent to me, after I visited the Vanessa Haywood cover shoot in Cape Town. They wanted my opinion on which one I thought was the best. Naturally, I took this one step further and asked 2oceansvibe what YOU thought.

Now, whilst there was debate (over 50 comments!) over which of the three possible ELLE Magazine covers featuring District 9 star, Vanessa Haywood should be used; it seems that the cover with the most amount of support (also my favourite) was the one they chose!

Apparently it hits stores today!

Vanessa Haywood
A bona fide angel

Stunning, just stunning!

But I’ve got something else for you. Some of you obviously know that Vanessa is connected to 2oceansvibe – she’s old school friends and family friends with a number of our 2oceansvibe Characters.

That said, I managed to get hold of a private pic of her as a little girl.

Turns out she’s been an angel from a very young age!

Vanessa Haywood
Was an angel from a young age!

QUITE adorable!

Definitely beats being a prawn!

Well done on a great cover, ELLE! I’m looking forward to grabbing a copy for myself!

It’s common knowledge that I am a big fan of the Woolies JT1 lingerie range (I’m not alone, it seems) and have never seen a better example of why this is, as on Saturday night at the JT1 fashion show which took place at Cape Town’s FTV Cafe. Every single girl involved was an absolute angel.

But if I HAD to choose one, it would be this naughty little thing:

Very naughty

Jeepers Hudders – I’m fine with that.

She can be my Angel Wingman, anytime!

Check out a quick slideshow of her and the angels HERE.

Hi gang! Hope all is well in the land of joy, sex, money, fast cars, champagne and suntans.

Firstly, I just want to say that I’m still recovering from Friday and most of my voice has returned. Welcome back, voice. Thanks again to the peeps at Olmeca Black Tequila, Goldfish, Top Billing and Pussy Energy Drink for making it all so special. Aww shucks, YOU GUYS!!!

Keep an eye out on 2oceansvibe for the video of that event. As well as the 2oceansvibe Show and WeatherGirls coming out later this week, featuring our guests, Goldfish and WeatherGirl (and Wonderbra girl), the outrageously hot Elbe van der Merwe. Perhaps I should remind you of who she is?

Try these out for size (click pics for higher res images):

Shame, why do I always have to give you such kak WeatherGirls? You really are quite deprived, aren’t you? Just you WAIT until you see Elbe doing the weather report – my God!

So anyway, back to the other things I was meant to tell you.

Ok, I’ve thought of a new word. That’s right my friends. You will recall some of the great cool sayings, phrases, words and handshakes I’ve been giving you over the years, including such classics as “water off a duck’s back” and “mind over matter.” Well, I’ve gone and done it again! Enjoy this..

You know what a “cougar” is, right?

UrbanDictionary tells us:

An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity — particularly the true hotties — as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.

Ja, well, I’ve come up with a word for the gay male equivalent of a cougar. You know, a slick older grey-haired hot gay guy in his fifties, who hangs out at bars and preys on younger cute gay guys who will enjoy his mansion and sports car.

You ready for it?

You sure you ready for the new word for the gay male version of a cougar?

Here it is : “Poogar”

See what I did there?

Use it, don’t use it (also mine).

Hope everyone is having a stunning Monday!

Spotted in a European ELLE Mag.

Monica Cruz – 32

Hotter than her sister, Penelope?

Megan Fox has punished herself by referring to her Transformers director as a Napoleon and Hitler type. But there’s no surprise there, we’ve always known that Megas doesn’t pack a full one. The big result here was an open letter from director Michael Bay’s crew who got deep into it.

Megan Fox
The way I remember her

Yu, yu, yu! Check it out:

“This is an open letter to all Michael Bay fans. We are three crew members that have worked with Michael for the past ten years. Last week we read the terrible article with inflammatory, truly trashing quotes by the Ms. Fox about Michael Bay. This letter is to set a few things straight.

Yes, Megan has great eyes, a tight stomach we spray with glycerin, and an awful silly Marilyn Monroe tattoo plastered on her arm that we cover up to keep the moms happy.

Michael found this shy, inexperienced girl, plucked her out of total obscurity thus giving her the biggest shot of any young actresses’ life. He told everyone around to just trust him on his choice. He granted her the starring role in Transformers, a franchise that forever changed her life; she became one of the most googled and oogled women on earth. She was famous! She was the next Angelina Jolie, hooray! Wait a minute, two of us worked with Angelina – second thought – she’s no Angelina. You see, Angelia is a professional.

We know this quite intimately because we’ve had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both Transformers movies. We’ve spent a total of 12 months on set making these two movies.

We are in different departments; we can’t give our names because sadly doing so in Hollywood could lead to being banished from future Paramount work. One of us touches Megan’s panties, the other has the often shitty job of pulling Ms. Sour pants out of her trailer, while another is near the Panaflex camera that helps to memorialize the valley girl on film.

Megan has the press fooled. When we read those magazines we wish we worked with that woman. Megan knows how to work her smile for the press. Those writers should try being on set for two movies, sadly she never smiles. The cast, crew and director make Transformers a really fun and energetic set. We’ve traveled around the world together, so we have never understood why Megan was always such – the grump of the set?

When facing the press, Megan is the queen of talking trailer trash and posing like a porn star. And yes we’ve had the unbearable time of watching her try to act on set, and yes, it’s very cringe-able. So maybe, being a porn star in the future might be a good career option. But make-up beware, she has a paragraph tattooed to her backside (probably due her rotten childhood) easily another 45 minutes in the chair!

So when the three of us caught wind of Ms Fox, pontificating yet again in some publication (like she actually has something interesting to say) blabbing her trash mouth about a director whom we three have grown to really like. She compared working with Michael, to “working with Hitler”. We actually don’t think she knows who Hitler is by the way. But we wondered how she doesn’t realize what a disgusting, fully uneducated comment this was? Well, here let’s get some facts straight.

[read the rest here]

Well, I can tell you right now that I am not surprised. Not for one second was I under the impression that Megan Fox was a genius. I knew that she was smoking hot and that she could cut diamonds with her blue eyes, but I would never make the mistake of asking her to quote pi to the twentieth decimal.

It’s entertaining – but it’s no revelation. That’s what I’m looking for. Revelations.

Like if you had to tell me “And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind.” – now THAT would be a Revelation. Chapter 4, verse 6, to be exact.

Aaah…

[polishes nails, stares into the distance..]

[thanks nico]

I don’t know if you’ve caught any of the terribly awkward “Between Two Ferns” interviews before, but I think you need to get into them.

Especially this one, because it features none other than SA’s very own Oscar winner, Charlize Theron.

Check it out.

“Monsters inc.” – hahahaha!

Very good.

And when you’re done with that, CLICK HERE to see Charlize eating an ice cream.

CLICK HERE for more Between Two Ferns action.

[thanks lee, thanks splattermail (the salami is back)]

You should be well aware by now of Vanessa Haywood, the smoking hot leading actress in the globally critically acclaimed, District 9.

Seth caught up with Vanessa at her ELLE Magazine cover shoot in Cape Town today.

Wait for video to load and check it out:

*Slow connections should wait for the box to appear, then pause to load up content before playing.

Aah yes, Prawns, prawns everywhere, and not a drop to drink!

We had good fun on set. If you’re following 2oceansvibe on Twitter, you would have seen some of the behind-the-scenes super sexy shots I took this morning of Vanessa!

I must just say how awesome Vanessa was. She’s 100% natural and completely unaffected by her fame and connection to this international blockbuster, District 9. If you get the chance to meet her, do it – she’s super cool.

Everyone’s trying to keep it a secret, but it’s pretty difficult to hide the fact that Vanessa Haywood, the star of the biggest movie in the world at the moment, District 9, is in Cape Town. Why is she in Cape Town? Oh…just to quietly shoot the cover of SA Elle Magazine! Now we’re talking!

Those of you following 2oceansvibe on Twitter will know that I popped into the studio this morning to check out the vibe and tell Vanessa (smoking hot) my latest prawn joke.

She hosed herself. Obviously

Vanessa Hawyood gets lost in the moment
On set for the Elle Magazine cover shoot

Turns out Vanessa is mates with a few 2oceansvibe characters, including The Barndog (well done for Saturday, buddy) and The Hooker!

Nice vibe – I like it.

We also got a hilarious video clip with Seth and Vanessa which you are going to LOVE!

Look out for that around lunch time today.

We don’t do smut, here on 2oceansvibe. We’re a classy publication. But we are always willing to delve into tasteful photo shoots of beautiful women, for the sake of *ahem* art. So I’m warning everyone beforehand that within this post are hidden doorways into a realm of very tasteful naked NSFW pics of supermodel/Hollywood star (Resident Evil, the Fifth Element with Bruce Willis etc.) Milla Jovovich.

If that frightens you then please, by all means, keep scrolling down to the next article – I’m sure it’s awesome anyway.

If you’re a fan of hers, you will be very pleased (and I know that includes guys and girls).

She recently did a spread for Purple Magazine and this, my friends, was the result.

Milla Jovovich
From behind

Oh, and this and this and this (NSFW).

God, that was magical.

Milla has always been in my top 5, so I’m quite pleased with that turnout. Do you remember how cute and hot she was with her orange hair in The Fifth Element?

I got a little clip to remind you. In shows us “The creation of Divine Lea-Loo (Milla Jovovich) in the laboratory from her surviving hand. She wakes up, and escapes her makers in her journey to save the world from total annihilation. “

What a wonderful day we’re having!

Check out her official website here.

[thanks rory]

Claudia Schiffer turned 39 about two weeks ago. Staring down the barrel at 40, we are prompted to reflect upon the smoking hot blonde german supermodel.

In the days of the original supermodels (the “Big Six” – Linda, Claudia, Cindy, Christy, Kate, Naomi), Claudia was always my choice. She was all over my bedroom (it was a “suite,” to be fair) walls at home and extended further to my cubicle (”cube”) at school – like wallpaper, literally from floor to ceiling. I guess you could say that she was a “lifestyle.”

Enjoy this recent pic of Claudia.

Are you ok with that?

As she hits 40?

Fine.

That’s what you should be aiming for girls.

Seriously.

Grow up.

[thanks paul]

This is not a drill. This is the real thing.

Kelly Brook
Right here. Right now.

Have you noticed how Kelly doesn’t have to starve herself to be sexy?

Do you think she’d be as appealing if she was skin and bones?

No, is the answer.

I’ve seen her around town at the right events and establishments, being a good model – looking pretty and laughing at the correct times. And then she turned up again on Thursday night last week at the Cosmopolitan Lingerie Fashion Show. On the ramp, no less!

Mine eyes were pleased.

What do we have here?

I leant over and commented to Jane (Raphaely), who agreed that the model in question was an adorable little angel.

Who IS that model? I thought to myself. Naturally, because the vibe is connected to my brain, some of you sent me the information I required – without me even asking for it! Miracles like that can be covered another time if we ever find a moment, but for now let’s have a look at Shané Van Der Westhuizen.

I checked out her “porty” on Full Circle Model Management’s website. I enjoyed it.

Fine

Note the “dimples of Venus” on the lower back
That’s a good start..

Nice

Nice, Shané. I like what you’ve done there. I like what I’m SEEING .

Look, there is no denying the fact that we’ve got a bona fide angel on our hands here. But the big question on everyone’s mind is, can she hold her own as a 2oceansvibe Weathergirl?

Who knows?

Time will tell..

It’s common knowledge that Hugh Hefner ’s life is loosely based on mine and I wish to expand on that. In particular, I am referring to the article entitled “Down the Rabbit Hole” featured in this weekend’s Lifestyle section of this weekend’s Sunday Times newspaper. The article discussed the newly-published author Izabella St James and her book Bunny Tales: Behind Closed Doors at the Playboy Mansion , a tell-all account of her life in the Playboy Mansion with Playboy founder, Hugh Hefner .

Bunny Tales
By Izabella St James

Yup, she’s a cracker.

One of the topics in the book is obviously to do with the sex side of things in the Playboy mansion. The article touched on this and discussed the revelation that apparently Hefner’s stamina leaves a lot to be desired. Which, although shocking, can be understood at the tender age of 83.

So that’s really what I wanted to address at this point. The fact that although Hefner’s life is loosely based on mind, I do not suffer from these same inadequacies.

Seriously, I am everything that you imagined, and so much more.

CLICK HERE to buy the book in South Africa

CLICK HERE to buy the book in the UK

Or click here to see me moonwalk.