One should never assume things, but if we assume that Apple generates the same operating profit margin on its iPhone business as it does on its overall business, 38%, then the iPhone business generated about $9,3 billion of profit in the December quarter.

All of Microsoft generated only $8,2 billion. Overall, Apple’s business is more than twice the size of Microsoft’s now: $46 billion compared to $21 billion. It’s also more than twice as profitable: $17 billion to $8 billion.

What’s just as extraordinary here is that Apple invented the iPhone business just five years ago.

Microsoft seems to have failed in two big ways: they just plain grossly underestimated and missed the iPhone and iPad markets, which Apple created.

Here’s Steve Ballmer, Microsoft’s famous CEO, having a dig at the iPhone:

And, Microsoft pumped billions into its fight against Google: it’s been pumping nothing short of $2 billion a year into the effort.

[Source: BusinessInsider]

Let’s have a look at the numbers, then.

Apple CEO, Tim Cook, took the opportunity yesterday to announce a bombshell: that iPads had outsold desktop computers in the fourth quarter of 2011.

These figures came directly from the International Data Corporation (IDC), which is part of the world’s leading technology media, events and research company, the International Data Group (IDG).

Apple reported 15,4 million iPads sold. It’s almost fair to say that there isn’t a massive tablet market out there, but rather an iPad market. Cook explained that 55 million iPads have been sold since the original launch back in April 2010.

The iPad market share is now equal to 17 per cent of the overall PC market.

Specifically referring to the Kindle Fire, Cook explained that when looking over Apple’s numbers, they didn’t seem to see any impact from the Kindle Fire being on the market. Good or bad.

Apple sold 37 million iPhones during this quarter.

And for the same fourth quarter period, Microsoft’s net income was $6,62 billion. Apple’s was $13,06 billion.

This net income figure reported by Apple is the equivalent of what their revenue was for their 2010 fourth quarter.

As Tech Crunch points out:

Apple’s revenues, while massive, are nothing compared to a company like Walmart, which reported $109.5 billion in revenue last quarter. BUT that $109.5 billion only turned into $3.3 billion of actual income for the quarter. In other words, Walmart has more than double the revenues of Apple, but Apple has more than four times the profits of Walmart. That’s remarkable.

Steve Jobs would be pleased.

[Sources: BusinessInsider, TechCrunch]

I get a kick out of liberating people, and the more that experience the freedom one feels when logged into one’s own US iTunes account, the better. And guess what, ANYBODY can get a US iTunes account. You don’t need to live in America and you don’t need an American credit card.

For those of you who are not aware, having a US iTunes account opens up a whole world of up-to-date movies, TV shows and iPhone apps. Check this out from www.getusitunesaccount.com:

Well done for making it here – your life is about to change!

Below you will find step-by step instructions on how to setup a US iTunes account and, below that, you will find further instructions showing you how to buy vouchers online and load them into your new account.

With most of the world’s high end media coming out of the United States, it is widely accepted that the greatest iTunes database of new media, is the US iTunes offering – only available to people with a US iTunes account. From music to movies and TV Shows, the spread of content is so vast and so current, your mind may well explode. Imagine a place where you can rent movies for $3.99 (R30) and you’ve got 29 days to watch it. And once you press play, you’ve got 24 hours to finish it. And we’re not talking old DVD type titles – we’re talking titles that sometimes haven’t even arrived at the local cinema! And don’t even get me started on the series that you can get. Imagine getting the latest episodes of Mad Men, Glee, Top Gear, Gossip Girl, Family Guy and more for just R7 an episode – available to buy and watch immediately, anytime you want!

Opening a US iTunes account gives you access to that media, from any country in the world. The only problem is you can’t open a US iTunes account without a US address (incl. correct zip code) and US credit card.

That is why we have put together these step by step instructions, allowing you to register with the US iTunes store with a correct US address and to pay for your purchases using iTunes vouchers bought from a third party vendor.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE

Do yourself a favour and check that out. Things have changed, my friends. This stuff used to be limited to the nerds and geeks. But now that we’ve got the likes of RSAWEB’s uncapped broadband (you don’t have? that’s embarrassing..), and you can watch latest movies at home for less than R30 (in HD if you want!), you’d be a fool not to get involved.

So CLICK HERE to check it out and find out why I haven’t touched DSTV or gone to the cinema in over a year!

You’re welcome.

Obviously, Apple sort of likes surprising people with stuff, so any reports coming in now are subject to change – but the consensus seems pretty clear that we’re not liable to see any sort of iPad 3 launch this early in the year, with a greater emphasis on Apple’s mobile advertising and publishing software, namely iAds and iBooks.

Says AllThingsD:

…some kind of advertising or even publishing announcement, … since Apple SVP of Internet Software and Services Eddy Cue is reportedly involved.

Cue is in charge of a large swath of Apple’s media units, including the iTunes Store, App Store, iBookstore, as well as iAd and its iCloud services.

It’s well known in the ad industry that Apple has been searching for a new head of its mobile advertising unit, since Andy Miller left last summer.

All of which is largely speculative – but those of you who acquired new Apple hardware over the festive season can rest relatively easy in the knowledge that it’ll at least be another six months before your stuff is obsolete.

[Source: SlashGear]

Apple has posted a lot of impressive numbers recently, mostly thanks to the world’s most popular tablet, the iPad. At one stage Apple was more liquid than the US Treasury (although I don’t think that takes much these days). This recent milestone is not only a big win for Apple, who is slowly taking over the highly-coveted business market, but a bit of an embarrassment for Blackberry, whose recent range of products has failed to satisfy the market. This includes the Playbook tablet, which it was forced to sell below cost price in a bid to cut losses.

Recent outages in Blackberry’s service has also done little to strengthen faith in the brand. Whilst Blackberry Internet Service is a lot cheaper than a data plan, many users are preferring the reliability of a paid data plan, causing further migration away from Blackberry.

RIM’s stock was selling at $13,44 a share last week, giving the company a value of $7,04 billion. This is slightly less than the estimated value of Apple’s App Store, which is estimated at $7,08 billion.

[Source: AppleInsider]

Designed to house 13 000 employees, it will comprise 2,8 million square feet over four stories, and will be a fully integrated 21^stcentury campus. A senior arborist from Stanford has been hired to take care of the campus’s natural surroundings, and just like everything else, they’re going big. Over 6 000 trees of different species will scattered throughout the landscape, and some apricot orchards will be included as homage to the area’s agricultural background.

The newly released designs shed light on some previously unseen details, including a detached “research facilities” building sure to be the home of many top-secret iProducts. It also shows carefully designed vehicular and pedestrian circulation patterns.

Talking about the Apple 2 campus in his biography, Jobs had this to say,

I want to leave a signature campus that expresses the values of the company for generations.

If these designs are anything to go by, and they are most likely very close to the final product will be, I have no doubt that his wish will be fulfilled.

[Source: iPhoneinCanada]

Apple recently showed a St. Louis, USA-based app developer a red card, giving him a one year ban from their App Development Programme, all because he tried to prove a point.

Charlie Miller, a security researcher, developed an application that took advantage of a security breach he detected on Apples iOS, that would allow external hackers to abuse Javascript to gain access to iOS devices such as iPhone and iPad. He disguised it as a stock ticker and uploaded it to the App store, before contacting Apple to alert them to the breach using his app per example.

Bad move. Apple banned him for a year, rightly claiming he breached their terms of service by obscuring malware as an innocent app. He claims he’s still a white hat (look it up), and simply tried to illustrate a potentially dangerous flaw in their security system. Apple have yet to respond further to his appeal.

Miller once worked as a security researcher for America’s National Security Agency, and has made a long career outside shady government agencies knocking holes in Apple’s security infrastructure, and then alerting them to the breach (white hat!). You can check out a video of him hacking a Macbook in under two minutes after the jump. Dude’s got skills. Maybe Apple should pay attention.

[Source: The Daily]

“Remembering Steve” runs a scrolling display – sort of like Twitter – of the millions of emails Apple has received about Steve Jobs over the past two weeks, with more rolling in daily. Which, as memorials for technology guys go, isn’t terrible.

If you’d like to swing by for a look – or even just to rage about after-the-fact Jobs-worship — head over here. The email address is also still accepting memories, in case you care to share your own.

[Source: RememberingSteve]

The UK-based Stuff Magazine put Siri to the test, and it works pretty well, all told. Even when compensating for British accents. Granted, I’d feel like a douche talking into my phone to set alarms, send emails, and look up the distance to the moon, but it’s really cool that I can.

The iPhone 4S starts shipping out this Friday.

[Source: WIRED]

This, from CNN:

Steve Jobs, the visionary in the black turtleneck who co-founded Apple in a Silicon Valley garage, built it into the world’s leading tech company and led a mobile-computing revolution with wildly popular devices such as the iPhone, died Wednesday. He was 56.

The hard-driving executive pioneered the concept of the personal computer and of navigating them by clicking onscreen images with a mouse. In more recent years, he introduced the iPod portable music player, the iPhone and the iPad tablet — all of which changed how we consume content in the digital age.

[more here]

The first picture of Steve Jobs since resigning from Apple has emerged. It was taken outside his California home and in it he appears looking gaunt and very frail. The image is fueling fears that he is nearing the end of his eight-year battle with pancreatic cancer.

To see one of the great people of our time in such a condition is truly heartbreaking.

Despite claims from numerous bloggers that the image is a fake, Pacific Coast News – the papparazzi agency that snapped the pic insists that the photo is authentic. “These have not been doctored in anyway, I can assure you, regardless what you may have read online.”

[Source: Daily Mail]

It seems the trend continues, as this recent TimeLive article confirms:

A Cape Town woman has been asked not to shop at an iStore after a fight with the local Apple distributors.

Photographer Thania Petersen complained about “a faulty 27-inch iMac that she bought from the iStore at the V&A Waterfront in May last year for almost R20 000.

Distributors of the computer say she did not use the iMac properly and this caused the problems.

Petersen said problems with the DVD drive started the day after she bought the computer. Technicians came to her home but the problem persisted.

After months of lodging complaints with the Core Group, Apple’s distribution company; begging Apple in the US for help; trying to open a case with police; and even writing to the new National Consumer Forum, she finally got her money back last week.

But there were conditions attached.

“The refund is conditional on us not engaging in any further communication on this issue and you making no further purchases from the iStore,” Wayne Grieveson, a manager of the Core Group, told her in an e-mail.

Petersen said: ” It is insane. I am not a criminal. I didn’t steal from them. I never caused a scene or screamed in their store. I just wanted my Mac to be fixed .”

[more here]

Yes, Thania – but didn’t you know that the iStore is not there to serve you. They’re there to treat you like shit.

Try Digicape – we’re behind them 100%

www.digicape.co.za

The technology is sexy in its own evil way, though – organizers wanting to maintain exclusive video rights over events would place infrared sensors at their venues, which would shut down any cameras in the line of site. And I mean, if any cops happen to be exercising police brutality and don’t want that being recorded, I guess they could avail of the tech too? Maybe?

Says Cory Doctorow over at BoingBoing:

“This is part of an increasing trend to designing hardware and software that allows remote parties to override the instructions of the owners and users of devices. This trend, coupled with the increasing degree to which devices are privy to our secrets, our sensitive information, and even our biological functions, worries me an awful lot”

Even more worrying is this: without iPhone footage, imagine all the lost viral videos of Justin Bieber getting hit by stuff that you’d only get to read about.

[Source: BoingBoing]
[Image: AVC]

From there I went onto Digicape’s website and checked out how much the cheapest Macbook is. Turns out the Macbook Air 11 inch costs R8,999. No spice – check it out here. That’s less than what you spend on car guard every month. I bought one for the Muse, and another one which I just use as a doorstop. Because of its wedge-like shape, it actually works very well. And it’s roughly the same price as a doorstop, but looks infinitely cooler.

So go-on, toss than revolting PC in the bin and join the ranks of the cool and annoying.

To make light of the situation and to prepare for Friday’s meeting, cnet has employed the services of Academy Award winner, Richard Dreyfus, who gives a beautiful and moving performance of the Apple iTunes End User License Agreement. Click here to enjoy.

[Source : cnet]

Click here for engadget’s break down of iOS 5.

Click play above to check out the video.

Do yourself a favour and CLICK HERE to check out the new range of Macbook Pros at Digicape. Pre-order yours now to avoid the queue. You KNOW you want one. You KNOW you need one!

Follow the link to check out more info on the new Macbook Pros..

“The new MacBook Pro brings next generation dual and quad Core processors, high performance graphics, Thunderbolt technology and FaceTime HD to the great design loved by our pro customers,” said Philip Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president of Worldwide Product Marketing. “Thunderbolt is a revolutionary new I/O technology that delivers an amazing 10 gigabits per second and can support every important I/O standard which is ideal for the new MacBook Pro.”

Starting at $1,199 the new 13-inch MacBook Pro offers amazing value and performance in a compact design. The highly portable 13-inch MacBook Pro features Intel Core i5 and Core i7 dual-core processors up to 2.7 GHz and Intel HD Graphics 3000. The powerful 15-inch and 17-inch MacBook Pro models feature quad-core Core i7 processors up to 2.3 GHz and AMD Radeon HD graphics processors with up to 1GB of video memory for high performance gaming, pro video editing and graphics intensive applications.

MacBook Pro is the first computer on the market to include the groundbreaking Thunderbolt I/O technology. Developed by Intel with collaboration from Apple, Thunderbolt enables expandability never before possible on a notebook computer. Featuring two bi-directional channels with transfer speeds up to an amazing 10Gbps each, Thunderbolt delivers PCI Express directly to external high performance peripherals such as RAID arrays, and can support FireWire and USB consumer devices and Gigabit Ethernet networks via adapters. Thunderbolt also supports DisplayPort for high resolution displays and works with existing adapters for HDMI, DVI and VGA displays. Freely available for implementation on systems, cables and devices, Thunderbolt technology is expected to be widely adopted as a new standard for high performance I/O.

The MacBook Pro now includes a built-in FaceTime HD camera with triple the resolution of the previous generation for crisp, widescreen video calls. With Apple’s innovative FaceTime video calling software, the new camera allows high definition video calls between all new MacBook Pro models and supports standard resolution calls with other Intel-based Macs, iPhone® 4 and the current generation iPod touch®. FaceTime is included with all new MacBook Pro models and is available for other Intel-based Macs from the Mac® App Store℠ for 99 cents. The MacBook Pro lineup continues to feature its gorgeous aluminum unibody enclosure, glass Multi-Touch™ trackpad, LED-backlit widescreen display, illuminated full-size keyboard and 7-hour battery.**

As the industry’s greenest notebook lineup, every Mac notebook achieves EPEAT Gold status and meets Energy Star 5.0 requirements, setting the standard for environmentally friendly notebook design.*** Each unibody enclosure is made of highly recyclable aluminum and comes standard with energy efficient LED-backlit displays that are mercury-free and made with arsenic-free glass. Mac notebooks contain no brominated flame retardants, are PVC-free and are constructed with recyclable materials.

Every Mac comes with Mac OS® X Snow Leopard®, the world’s most advanced operating system, and iLife®, Apple’s innovative suite of applications for creating and sharing great photos, movies and music. Snow Leopard builds on more than a decade of innovation and includes multiple features for portable computing such as Multi-Touch navigation, advanced wireless networking, easy file sharing, automated data backup and intelligent power management. The new iLife ’11 features iPhoto® with stunning full screen views for browsing, editing and sharing photos; iMovie® with powerful easy-to-use tools to transform home videos into fun theatrical trailers; and GarageBand® with new ways to improve your playing and create great sounding songs.

Umm… YES PLEASE!!

CLICK HERE for Digicape’s website and pre-order yours before the queue forms!

Jobs suffered pancreatic cancer in 2004, and had a liver transplant in 2009. Jobs recently sparked rumours of a cancer relapse after he too a medical leave of absence.

The National Enquirer published the “revelations” following this medical comment:

One critical care physician, Dr. Samuel Jacobson said of the pictures (via Econ):  “Judging from the photos, he is close to terminal. I would say he has six weeks. He is emaciated and looks to have lost a lot of muscle mass, which spells a poor prognosis.”

Given that the National Enquirer is the US equivalent of Die Son, one might ought not put too much stock in the solidity of the National Enquirer’s prediction.

But that didn’t stop Apple’s stock from tumbling five points. Sigh.

[Source : CNN]

The iPad Finally Comes To South Africa – Officially! - Finally the first OFFICIAL Apple sanctioned iPads are available in South Africa. Digicape, 2oceansvibe and SA’s favourite official Apple Mac product provider made the announcement on their website at midnight, last night. iPads will start at R4,399 and, by all accounts, you better move fast to make sure you aren’t left in the dust! Click through and check out the rest of the range! [digicape]

Charlie Sheen Goes To Hospital – The inevitable 911 phone call has finally taken place. This after Charlie Sheen indulged in a 36-hour bender with three porn stars and a briefcase of cocaine. There are many wild details, but eventually Charlie ended up in his theater room with one of the porn stars with whom he was partying. They watched 3 hours of porn, as Charlie critiqued the action on the screen. No-one on earth does it like Charlie Sheen. I’ll give him that much. [tmz]

Mandela Recovering From Collapsed Lung – Former president Nelson Mandela is recovering from a collapsed lung and could be released from hospital as early as Friday, a source close to Mandela told Reuters on Thursday. The 92-year-old icon was admitted to Milpark Hospital in Johannesburg on Wednesday for what his foundation described as routine tests. “Mandela was treated by military doctors and should be discharged tomorrow,” the source said, asking not to be named. [news24]

Djokovic Bounces Federer - A day after Rafael Nadal limped out of the Australian Open, Roger Federer followed him, although his exit visa was not stamped with an injury clause. We live in changing times. If Andy Murray is ever going to win a grand slam, a tournament stripped of the two greatest players of all time would be a good place to start. The only problem is, if he beats the softest option in the surviving group, David Ferrer, in his semi-final tomorrow night, standing across from him on Sunday will be Novak Djokovic in all his intimidating pomp. [guardian]

Will Smith & Jay Z To Remake Annie - Overbrook Entertainment partners James Lassiter, Ken Stovitz, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith are partnering with Jay-Z to release movies. One of the first projects they’re discussing is a remake of the Broadway classic “Annie,” in which the Smiths’ daughter, Willow, 9, would star. Jay-Z sampled the tune “It’s a Hard Knock Life,” from the “Annie” musical, in his hit “Hard Knock Live (Ghetto Anthem).” [timeslive]

PayPal Hackers Arrested – Five men have been arrested over a spate of recent web attacks carried out in support of Wikileaks. The five males are being held after a series of arrests at residential addresses in the West Midlands, Northamptonshire, Hertfordshire, Surrey and London this morning. The men were arrested in relation to “recent and ongoing” attacks by an online group that calls itself “Anonymous”. Targets included the websites of PayPal, Mastercard and Amazon. [bbc]

McDonalds University More Exclusive Than Harvard - “Go, go, go,” yells their Taiwanese teacher, exhorting them to work for the prize, a box of Danish butter cookies, for being the first to build the company’s trademark Golden Arches. Above their heads is a sign that reads: “Learning today, leading tomorrow.” The thick green binders stuffed with paperwork on each of the 31 students’ desks indicate the next activity may not be as rousing. This is McDonald’s Hamburger University in China, and it can be harder to get into than Harvard. [bloomberg]

Allen Stanford Unable To Stand Trial - Financier Allen Stanford is incompetent to stand trial at this time over accusations that he led a $7 billion fraud, a U.S. judge in Texas ruled on Wednesday. Stanford, who had been accustomed to jetting around the globe in private aircraft, was indicted in 2009 on 21 counts including securities fraud and money laundering. U.S. prosecutors accuse him of creating false accounting records, lying to investors and bribing a regulatory official in Antigua. [reuters]

Egypt Loses The Internet - Reports are emerging that Internet has gone down in Cairo and throughout Egypt, only hours before the largest planned protests yet. According to a report from The Arabist, “Egypt has shut off the internet.” Multiple Internet Service Providers are affected according to the report. The news of the Internet outage came minutes after the Associated Press published a video of an Egyptian protestor being shot. [huffpo]

Pagani Unveils The Huayra – Pagani has finally revealed its much rumoured and much anticipated successor to the Zonda: the Pagani Huayra., named after the Argentinean god of wind. The new supercar is powered by an AMG-sourced 6.0-liter biturbo V12 engine with over 700 hp (522 kW / 710 PS) and 1000 Nm (737 Nm) of torque. The top speed is claimed to be over 370 km/h (235mph) and 0-100 km/h is expected to take just 3.2sec. [luxuo]

Will Ferrell Joins ‘The Office’ - “The Office” is bringing in a big name to help in the transition surrounding Steve Carell’s departure. Will Ferrell will guest on several episodes of the show later this season. Ferrell — who co-starred with Carell in “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” — will play a fellow Dunder Mifflin/Sabre manager who comes to Scranton and proves to be just as clueless as Michael (Carell) is. NBC hasn’t said yet when Ferrell will make his first appearance, but it sure sounds as though the character will be part of the story involving Michael’s departure. [latimes]

Hitlers Bodyguard Is Tired OF Fan Mail - More than 65 years after World War Two, Adolf Hitler’s last surviving bodyguard says that he can no longer respond to the continuous deluge of fan mail he receives from around the world because of his advanced age. Rochus Misch is 93 and uses a walking frame to move around his apartment. He told the Berliner Kurier tabloid that, with most of the letters he receives asking for autographs, it was “no longer possible” to reply because of his age. [reuters]

Quite simple, you need a US iTunes account, my love. And you can get one without having a US credit card – then you can buy and rent movies from iTunes, using your computer, iPad, iPhone or Apple TV. I use the Apple TV because it let’s you stream the movie. I choose something and, using my hi-speed MWEB uncapped broadband account, it loads faster than it plays – so you only have to wait a minute at the beginning before it starts!

You can rent a new-release movie for $3.99 (or $4.99 on HD) and you get 29 days to watch it and 24 hours to finish them, once you press play. That works out to R26. I just watched The Town with Ben Affleck and The American with George Clooney. The same two movies cost something like R42 PER PERSON at Nu Metro at the V&A Waterfront. And they were available on US iTunes WAY before the local cinema.

Don’t even get me started on the TV Series you can buy ($1 an episode) and the app store.. heavens..

Welcome to the future – it’s simpler (and cheaper) than ever before.

Go to www.getusitunesaccount.com for step-by-step instructions!

The Movember Mophone App allows you to easily take a daily photograph of your progress and share it online. With one click you can upload it to your Movember.com account.

The app also includes a history of Movember, Gentlemen’s Tips and The Rules for growing your mo.

From the developers website:

Movember brings you the official MoPhone app.

Take a photo of your growth each day of Movember and the app creates a stop-motion video of your mo-gress. Share it on Facebook, Twitter & e-mail. Its a great way to boost your fundraising efforts.

Grow it, Flow it, Show it!

This has been watched nearly 7 million times.

What? Sorry? I can’t hear you…

Hah! Can’t WAIT for Digicape to get stock of the new iPhone 4! Signal problems or not – I want that thing inside my body. And anyway, who even makes phone calls these days? Honestly, phone calls count for around 2% of what I use on my current beast.

[thanks mike]

While we’re on the subject, how does 13 quid for 26 issues of Rolling Stone magazine sound? R150 for 12 issues of Rolling Stone! Come on, man – you’re having a laugh!

Sorry, back to the point of the story – so I haven’t been focussing on iPhone apps for a while. That was before I visited Barnet Fair for a haircut last week (you gotta check this place out – PROPER barber vibe near &Union on Bree Street – old-school barber chairs, vinyl records, barber pole etc. So the owner, Steven Pitt (no spice) show me this app, called “FatBooth.” those of you who know the app “OldBooth” should be told that this puts OldBooth to shame! Check it out – this is what it did to my vibe, as we considered what would happen if I ate all the pies.

Seth thoroughly enjoys pastry and deep-fried foods

Absolutely AWESOME result! How bad does the very spaced-out facial hair look? God, it’s great! Old Steven from Barnett Fair reckons he ran it by a more overweight friend of his who absolutely flipped when he did it for him, lamenting that the app is only truly humorous when used on leaner people.

Fair enough.

The above pic is very different to this portrait that Cape Town photographer, Morne Van Zyl did of me.

Just to fill you in, Morne is working on a “Portrait Project” and has been snapping pics of all sorts of people around Cape Town – many of whom you will recognise. You might even find Die Antwoord there..

I think it’s a great initiative and the guy clearly knows what he is doing. Go check out his website and see if you recognise anyone.

So anyway, the iPad.. I’ll tell you one thing, besides the movies and the TV shows (I have a US iTunes account, do you?) and magazines (before they hit the shelves overseas) including Vanity Fair, GQ, Hello!, Rolling Stone, Wallpaper, Maxim, TIME, OK, NatGeo and, of course, Harpers Bazaar, French Vogue and Marie Claire for The Muse, I can confirm that I read my first BOOK in a very long time – on my iPad.

Ja you heard me.

It stands to reason that there has been over three million sold in less than three months..

But that’s not the reason for this article..

That’s the reason for this article! The brand new made-for-chicks-but-I-just-don’t-care Gucci Cover will EASILY make you a better person. And if that tan colour is not your vibe, never fear – they have grey and black as well!

Fashionistas take note! If you have a passion for fashion and don’t mind spending several hundred dollars on a case to protect you iPad, check out the swanky new cases from Gucci. Keeping with Gucci’s tradition, each case will have the signature GG design. They will also include a Velcro strap closure to hold your iPad securely in place and a suede lining to keep it in mint condition.

[more]

Jeez, that’s enough, doll – you had me at “fashionistas!”

Would you like that cover inside you?

It’s simple. Land a small win on the overseas lotteries, buy your iPad, then get the cover.

First I popped in at Caprice to try out the 2oceansvibe cocktail:

Cafe Caprice on Google Maps “Street View”
Nice day they were having when they shot that!

Mmm, that was good!

Follow the link to see where else I went and also learn how to do this on your own computer or iPhone or iPad!

So off I went to Green Point to check out my Primary Residence, The Cape Royale Hotel.

Lookin’ good!

The Cape Royale Hotel
Seth’s Primary Residence

Here are some others:

“Miss K”, just a bit further down the road in the opposite direction
(same side of the road)

“Mabu Vinyl” – just opposite Kloof vida e (2 Rheede Street)

It’s so awesome!

Want to learn how to do it yourself? Ok..

HOW TO USE STREET VIEW YOURSELF:

Using a computer, Click here to go to Google Maps.

Type in an address in the box – eg. 53 Victoria road, camps bay, cape town.

Press Enter.

Click the little “A” symbol that appears:

Then click “street view.”

BANG! You’re “A” for “AWAY!”

If you’re on your iPhone or iPad, then simply click the “Maps” app (bottom right of below screenshot).

Then search for any address and, when you see the little man appear in the orange circle, click that little man!

And there you have it – you are cruising around Cape Town without moving an inch. Pretty much what you do anyway!

Aah yes, these are wonderful times. If you don’t have an iPhone or haven’t booked your iPad yet, be sure to zip over to Digicape and make it happen!

Your move, Blackberry people..

The Apple Icon is one of the world’s most powerful brands.

Not only does it front the most economically powerful leisure technology manufacturer in the world, it is also a lesson in simple, elegant design with the aesthetic legs to carry it through multiple decades.

Which is precisely why you should slap a mo or a ‘fro on it.

Do you have a MacBook? Stick With Me Baby will improve it.

The company manufactures a line of stickers designed to piggy back off of the Apple icon on your beloved MacBook. The stickers come in a range of simple retro afros and mustaches.

Including the likes of:

The Monopolist (think Rotherham)

The Surrealist

And my personal preference, the Self Defense.

And that’s just a small selection of the mo’s, ladies and gentlemen. Hit a vibe over to Stick With Me Baby for more sticky, hairy pleasure.

It’s only a matter of time before DigiCape start stocking something like this!

Let your iPhone or iPod Touch become your travel companion with The South Africa Travelers’ Kit, which contains essential information that you need to have at hand when visiting the Rainbow Nation for the World Cup, including:

- Emergency phone numbers. Just click on the number to dial it.

- Embassy and Consulate information for countries participating in the World Cup and other countries including Canada, Belgium, Ireland and India. Visit the embassies’ websites, write them an email or call them directly, all with just one click.

- Direct access to South Africa’s top restaurant guides and websites.

- Instant updates via RSS on World Cup news, Travelers’ Information, Sports and South African news.

- Access to maps that guide you from your current location in South Africa, to the different World Cup venues.

And look what happens when you click “MORE”:

You know where that last item will take you!

CLICK HERE to watch the video, which shows off the app and let’s you see everything it can do, before you get it!

You can have all this information at a glance with the South Africa Travelers’ Kit (find in in the AppStore HERE), just for US $3,99! Enjoy your trip!

Oh, and if you don’t have an iPhone yet, hurry down to Digicape and get your pronto!

They’re good.

I like that. I like it a lot.

You know when I refer to “quality humour.” Ja, well, that is quality humour.

There are TONS more. Follow the jump to check ‘em out.

[thanks lancelot]

This obviously has a lot to do with the fact that the article comes in Google’s Top 5 for the search phrases, “cape town istore,” “cape town apple mac,” and “waterfront istore” (among others). As a result, 3,880 people have found the article in Google search results – without going through 2oceansvibe. ie. they went directly to the article from Google.

No apologies..

Because of this very high ranking for such broad search phrases, the comments section never really dies, and has so far received  153 comments! Wowsers – that’s a lot of interactivity and a helluva a long time and excessively high stats and figures, for a company to not respond. No, they never did. Nor did they attend to the copious amounts of people moaning in the comments section – the perfect forum to fix problems and tend to customer complaints.

Surely that must be some kind of record? You know, in terms of companies that don’t give a toss?

Be sure to check some of the most recent comments, including the one about their employees advising customers to rather buy their equipment at the shop next door.

Stunning – absolutely stunning!

Here’s to the next 12 months!

See you at Digicape.

Daddy has snuck out of town for a month. I know I should have told you properly before I left, but if I had done that, you wouldn’t have let me leave. Everyone knows that an “Eagle Claw,” when performed by a model, is infinitely stronger than a Pit-Bull’s lock jaw. I couldn’t risk that, after all, Provence needs me too.

Yes, you heard me.. Provence. Or “Menerbes,” to be precise. To fill you in even further, Menerbes is in the Luberon Valley region of Provence. We have a sweet spot there and it’s about 20 minutes drive from Avignon.

Don’t judge me

So I flew from DF Malan to Amsterdam’s Schiphol (sounds like poephol – what a lag) airport, and then on to Marseilles airport. Yes, that’s in France – the same place where very short men are allowed to rule the country and bang Rolling Stone hand-me-down supermodels at the same time.

Then it’s 50 minute drive to Menerbes. Here’s a bit of background:

So much has been written about Provence and its villages that it is tempting to list what you’re NOT going to experience in Menerbes.

You’re not going to find hordes of tourists tramping up and down the tiny cobbled streets and peering into your windows; nor will you sight a souvenir stall selling t-shirts and other tacky memorabilia. Traffic is very limited (for residents only) due to the narrowness of the roads and there is almost no parking available, except for a car park located on the edge of the village.

There are no fast-food shops and only one, tiny fruit and vegetable store. A butcher and a bakery make up Menerbe’s entire food shopping complement.

Market day is on Thursday and well worth a visit – it is located in the public parking area, close to the bouledrome.

Menerbes is famous for its beauty, as well as the fact that Picasso’s lover Dora Maar lived there for 42 years. Her residence has been restored to its former grandeur and there are also a few art galleries you may wish to visit during your stay.

The village churches are definitely worth seeing, including a 12th Century chapel located on the edge of the town and Saint Hilaire Abbey just 3.5km away. There is also the fascinating truffle museum and wine-tasting centre (Maison de la Truffe et du Vin du Luberon), and corkscrew museum (Musée du Tire-bouchon).

However, it’s the view and the atmosphere that make Menerbes one of the most special places in Provence. Look one way and you are afforded panoramic views of the Luberon Valley, glance over your shoulder to take in the majestic Mont Ventoux. The valley is scattered with spaghetti-like threads of farm roads weaving patterns through the vineyards, cherry tree groves, irises, lavender and poppy fields – the classic delights of Provence laid out at your feet.

Menerbes has three restaurants ranging from mid-priced traditional fare, ‘cheap and cheerful’ meals and a spectacular terrace/bar.

[read more here]

Yes, you’re spot on – it’s a joke

Shame

Sorry, I forgot to mention that the mayor of the town is Yves Rousset-Rouard, who happens to be the man who gave the world the Emmanuelle films. He basically found soft porn. He also happens to own the Corkscrew Museum museum.

“Emmanuelle” – created by the mayor of Menerbes..

I would like to add that you shouldn’t worry or panic at all. Seriously, nothing will change on the website. All it means is that you won’t be able to touch my actual flesh. Truth be told, I’m actually trying to ween you off my flesh. You’re too old to have a doodoo, anyway.

I’m going to answer your next question before you ask it. YES, 2oceansvibe Radio will carry on as usual! I will be broadcasting live from Provence, just like we do every Friday morning 08h00 to 09h30. That’s how goddamn wired and hi-tech we are! I managed to fit all the 2OV Radio equipment into my new Thule wheelie bag – which means you will be getting the same high-quality sound and awesome vibes comin’ right atcha!

The new Macbook Pro and Thule wheelie bag
Easily the best wheelie bag I have had in my life!

Would it be showing off to tell you, in the same breath, that the Macbook Pro in the pic above is actually brand new. That’s right, my friends, it is the new Apple MacBook Pro 15″ 2.66GHz. I haven’t had a chance to make love to it yet, but I have a feeling that mood will be just right tonight..

Find the right Apple Mac for you – go to Digicape right now. They take special care of 2oceansvibers.

I must tell you that the metal detector guys at DF Malan and Schipol airport weren’t quite sure when the bag went through the X-Ray machine. I don’t know what it looks similar to, on the X-Ray, but the okes got really worked up. Then they opened it and the oke tuned me, “Are you a DJ?”

And I was like, “Ja, I’m a DJ.”

Which is hilarious, ‘cos I’m not. But I couldn’t exactly tell him the truth, that I am a global symbol of awesome vibes and smooth sexual flavours, which sometimes gets beamed over the internet. They wouldn’t have digged that.

Speaking of weening off, I have had to ween myself of De Grendel for the last few days, as there was no more room in my luggage. So I’m onto to the Provence Rose wine for the next month.

It’ll have to do!

To you..

So here’s to you – don’t think I don’t miss you. I do. I’m basically bleeding inside.

Just remember,

I love you

xxx

ps. you can read up about daily life in Provence on my dad’s blog – www.livingstylishlywell.com

Congratulations Deán Stassen!

2oceansvibe.com is VERY at home on the new Apple iPad

Apparently 2oceansvibe is “a joke” on the new iPad, and people have been spotted licking the device, as the big 2OV gives itself a stretch in the iPad browser.

It won’t be long until I too will have the future in my hands from Digicape and then you can touch me on my iPad.

Sis, don’t be rude – I know you’ve come very close to seeing my other package, but that’s not the one I’m talking about!

  
MWEB’s latest offering – uncapped broadband

Ok so as you can imagine, I chow through quite a lot of data – around 25Gb a month. Now that’s a helluva lot, even for small to medium sized companies, but it’s not just for my surfing and email needs. Now pay attention – I promise you need to hear this and will be glad you listened.

A while back we chatted about iTunes and how you can get a US account for your media needs – allowing you access to all the American music and movies and apps available on iTunes (our local offering features close on f-all). Then what you do is you buy iTunes vouchers with your normal credit card (US iTunes account won’t allow foreign credit cards) and redeem then via iTunes. Morally I don’t have a problem with this – the people who produced the media are being paid, and it’s better than the only other alternative which is stealing it for free online. But I’m not getting into that debate (if there is one?) right now.

All of that said, my incredibly large data usage comes from the fact that each movie on iTunes is about one gig. So I’ve got an Apple TV (you can get them at Digicape) connected to my plasma (and linked to my US iTunes account) which let’s me buy or rent movies (or TV shows) instantly ($3.99 to rent – around R30 – and a little bit more if you want HD). You don’t even need computer with this thing. I choose a movie, watch the trailer, click “ok” to pay and it starts playing the movie after 30 seconds (minimal buffer required with the 4Mb line). Obviously you could do this all with a slower line, you will just have to wait longer.

I don’t have that kind of time.

Over the last two week I paid for and watched The Bounty Hunter, An Education, The Hurt Locker, Food Inc., Precious, Zombieland, Up In The Air, The Informant and Bad Lieutenant – all of which are either on the local circuit, or haven’t got there yet. At a gig a piece, I would have been paying an extra R70 a movie with Telkom – and that’s before you factor in all the surfing and Weather Girls videos and downloads and all the crap you send me!

I listen to Johnny Vaughan on London’s Capital FM online through streaming audio and I speak to my friends and family for hours on Skype. I also receive some emails which are 20Mb in size and I don’t bat an eyelid.

I downloaded an 8Mb file the other day and it took 16 seconds. I was with Dave from Goldfish – ask him about it when you see him. He nearly shat himself.

This is where we are, guys. Seriously, get with it.

Get an uncapped broadband line at your place and start off with a normal (what you’re used to) speed like 512kbps. WITH line rental it costs R599. If you have an EXISTING Telkom line, it’s only R299 a month. Then you keep that line with Telkom and switch your data over to MWEB.

They have cheaper and slower than that available, but I’m afraid I won’t allow it.

I had a 4Mb Telkom account but switched over to MWEB and kept the Telkom line. So all I am paying MWEB is R539 a month (plus theTelkom 4Mb line for R362 a month). I’m saving over a grand a month.

Switching over from the existing Telkom vibe to MWEB took, literally, half an hour. I was on the phone to the MWEB guy and he told me exactly what to do. Then I called Telkom and cancelled my data, but kept the line. Honestly, it was too easy.

If you don’t think you need it, that’s because you’ve never had it. You’re just as restricted in your thinking as you are with your internet access. Which kind of makes sense if you look at where the world is right now. You cannot afford to carry on the way you are. You WILL get left behind. FACT. You simply cannot afford to stay in the dark any longer.

Grow up – get an uncapped MWEB account, and enjoy the revelation.

Check it out:

You are looking at Apple’s next iPhone. It was found lost in a bar in Redwood City, camouflaged to look like an iPhone 3GS. We got it. We disassembled it. It’s the real thing, and here are all the details.

While Apple may tinker with the final packaging and design of the final phone, it’s clear that the features in this lost-and-found next-generation iPhone are drastically new and drastically different from what came before. Here’s the detailed list of our findings:

What’s new
• Front-facing video chat camera
• Improved regular back-camera (the lens is quite noticeably larger than the iPhone 3GS)
• Camera flash
• Micro-SIM instead of standard SIM (like the iPad)
• Improved display. It’s unclear if it’s the 960×640 display thrown around before—it certainly looks like it, with the “Connect to iTunes” screen displaying much higher resolution than on a 3GS.
• What looks to be a secondary mic for noise cancellation, at the top, next to the headphone jack
• Split buttons for volume
• Power, mute, and volume buttons are all metallic

But that’s not all..

What’s changed
• The back is entirely flat, made of either glass (more likely) or ceramic or shiny plastic in order for the cell signal to poke through. Tapping on the back makes a more hollow and higher pitched sound compared to tapping on the glass on the front/screen, but that could just be the orientation of components inside making for a different sound
• An aluminum border going completely around the outside
• Slightly smaller screen than the 3GS (but seemingly higher resolution)
• Everything is more squared off
• 3 grams heavier
• 16% Larger battery
• Internals components are shrunken, miniaturized and reduced to make room for the larger battery

But the story is getting very spicy – in particular the nature in which Gizmodo acquired the device. You see a similar story happened with rival website Engadget, and people reckon it’s the same phone. And both companies claim they found the phone in bar – different bars!

The owner of Gizmodo, Nick Denton, has confirmed they will pay for stories, and also revealed yesterday on his Twitter feed:

Wow! Spieslik!

Check out this story on cnet for a more in-depth look at this spicy coincidence.

But in the meantime, I will be watching the pages of Digicape – waiting for the day that the iphone 4G comes to town, so that I can rub it against my body.

But not only that, it’s also tons of fun. Maybe this will help you get into it?

Do you think your iPad would make a great gaming device? Apparently the folks over at ThinkGeek think so too, as they’ve come up with the iCade concept accessory. It’s actually an arcade cabinet for your iPad, allowing you to slide in your iPad, docking it on the iCade, giving it traditional arcade controllers, and making the whole setup resemble the arcade machines from your younger days.

Once docked, launch the dedicated iCade app that will offer your classic games, and you’re good to go! Obviously you’re going to have long gaming sessions on this setup, since you’re reminiscing, and that’s why the docking station also allows you to charge your iPad at the same time, ensuring that you’ll never have to take a break from your gaming sessions. Would you buy this is it were turned into an actual product?

[more here]

Come on… that is AWESOME! And yes. The answer is YES, I would buy it.

I’d buy two, so that one will get to me sooner than the other.

[thanks simon]

Perhaps you should – especially in the case of the latest Apple toy – the iPad.

Enjoy this video – it’ll knock your socks off!

Oh, so now it’s an educational tool as well.

This, from mobileindustryreview:

Whatever your viewpoint of the iPad, you do have to hand it to Apple. They’re nothing short of geniuses there in Cupertino. I’ve been watching the videos across the bank holiday weekend marvelling at just how natural the iPad user interface appears to be. As anyone with children will know, the iPhone has long been the ultimate ‘keep quiet’ tool for parents. I’ve observed it being deployed to dramatic effect, day after day, by many relieved parental units. Whether the child is 2 or 10, there’s something to keep their attention focused on for at least 10 minutes at a time (more, if you decide to give them the password to your account… danger lurks therein, though, especially with that TomTom app still at £60).

So the legions of children accustomed to tapping, scrolling, pinching and tilting the iPhone have, predictably, taken to the iPad like the proverbial flock of ducks to a stupidly sized lake.

Give an iPhone to a child who has never ever seen one and they’ll be an expert in moments. Such is the UI model. The home button gets me every time. The satisfaction, delight and confidence that comes from always being able to press that is palpable. Witness, for example, the little girl in the video below. She has, I imagine, recently got acquainted with the basics of the English language. She’s already used an iPhone. So the iPad? To a 2.5-year-old? No hassle. Watch as she readily clicks about it, swiping screens, tapping stuff — watch as, part way through, she drags the letters ‘L’, ‘I’, ‘O’ and ‘N’ into order to complete the word ‘LION’.

The fact that a 2.5-year-old can use the interface is simply staggering. Staggering.
[more here]

Very kak..

[thanks rob]

Yet this week an irresistible business opportunity and a session with the Aston Martin top brass took me northwards. I naturally tapped my network to establish where I should be to ensure that my vibe was maintained. It is critical to source environs that I am used to, to ease the separation anxiety from the opulence and convenience of my primary residence, the 5-star Cape Royale. Enter the Westcliff Hotel, Johannesburg. Now we’re talking. Style like I’m used to. Style you should strive for and opulence we crave, especially in Jozi.

From the moment I saw the beaming Wonga at the arrivals hall at Jan Smuts, slickly decked out in his regal driver kit, I knew that everything would be okay. Slick. Look, the drive around Jozi is probably not ever going to be a person with any sort of aesthetic sensibility’s wet dream – but the gem that is Wonga made it more than passable. Sure, the new 5 series isn’t the Jaguar I am normally driven around in. But I’m fine with it. Rental cars in foreign cities are generally a shit-show and should be given the wide berth – where possible.

Cool, to the power of Wonga

Essential then for me to gather my thoughts, bask in pristine environs and rediscover the vibe after the commute from the sublime to the not-so-sublime. Imagine my unadulterated joy then, to enter the tranquil world of the Westcliff. You will appreciate that I am well qualified to comment on hotels. The Cape Royale raises the bar pretty high, but the grandeur, style and class of the Westcliff are certainly also up there with the very best.

Suitably refreshed and buoyed by the prospect of a post-meeting infinity-pool session, we hit Jozi hard. The only way I know how. Gordon Gecko would have approved of the clinical, ruthless efficiency which underlined the meetings. In, out and what seemed like minutes later the great Wonga swung the beemer into the oasis that is the Westcliff – perched very nicely on a hilltop overlooking Egoli. Never rush – that is one of the secrets I’m happy to impart. Hence my carefully staggered meetings allowed me plenty of time to savour the delights the hotel has to offer.

The heated pool with Polo Lounge above and my suite to the left

Shame – my private garden leading to the pool

So there I was. Post-meeting domination. Sunset, poolside, cocktail in hand, angels trying to make their repeated stares in my direction subtle (and failing dismally), attentive waiters on hand. Naturally donning the hotels reassuringly heavy white gown, and I thought, on reflection, that Jozi is pretty damn cool if you can immerse yourself in this vibe. In its own way. I also understood just why Westcliff is something of an institution. And why 2oceansvibe Character, The Wedding Singer, chose to drop to one knee in this venerable locale.

Tea in the ‘Polo Lounge’ – terribly civilised..

“Do you know how to make a 2oceansvibe cocktail?”

With Europe now shedding its winter jacket I must confess that at times being in the hotel environment did transport me back to stays in romantic hotels lingering above the Italian Riveria. With a bit of imagination I could quite easily have thought I was swirling a crisp Chianti on the terrace at the Splendido in Portfofino. But then a roar from a lion in the zoo below reminded me that I was still on the Dark Continent. Or maybe the Jameson’s were kicking in. Anyway, I digress.

The views from the manicured lawns and perfectly perched infinity pool are seriously impressive and I was pretty blown away by the vistas over the Joburg Zoo from the pool terrace. So much so that I remarked the Joburg must surely be one of the largest, if not the largest, man-made forest on earth….. Indeed. Wiki it if you must. That’s what I’m here for – informing and keep you abreast of the trivia you should know. Like the fact that Jozi has a higher annual rainfall than London. No spice. Yes, please – go check.

Shame – sorry for you..

But what isn’t trivial is the level of service and quality of scenes at the Westcliff. Drinks, world class dinner overlooking the pool, more drinks. Fine. The beauty of staying at a place like this is the utter joy of indulging in the things which the Jozi heavy hitters who are there for drinks aren’t able to. Nothing better than swanning around in your toweling gown, much like Jack Nicholson would do on St Tropez yet. Because he can. While those there just for drinks or supper look on with the envy which is impossible to repress.

It is rare that I actually get vaguely excited about going to bed alone. Yes, that might sound borderline strange. But when you are positioned to the best suite in the house and your bed is bigger than most pools on the Radlantic you get my point. So a properly productive day, all conducted in the style and vibe I’ve grown accustomed to was complete.

The ever-attentative Dingani and co in their Polo Lounge outfits

Day 2 of the Jozi excursion couldn’t have been kicked off in more perfect fashion. I’m growing quite fond of egg white omelets with feta, ham and rocket. So a ridiculously sumptuous brekkie and a leisurely stroll around the perfectly manicured grounds and a few lengths of the (heated) pool was pretty much perfect. Weird to be in Joburg but in European vibes – but this could be the start of a new love affair.

The ever faithful Wonga delivered us safely to the airport and I must admit to being strangely nostalgic about leaving Jozi this time. It couldn’t have been run with greater precision if a Swiss outfit had arranged my itinerary. Great vibe.

Using my iPhone and my Photostich app, I made a stunning little panorama of the pool deck, overlooking Johannesburg.

Give it a click – you’ll enjoy it.

Click image for seriously impressive panorama pic

Nothing wrong with that, hey?

So as I watch the sun slip into the Atlantic my faith in Jozi has been restored. Slightly envious of those who get to spend more time in the Westcliff – but I’ll be back, for sure. Jozi may well need me.

Until next time.

I give you the all new 2oceansvibe mobile website! Perfect for viewing onyour iPhone or whatever other Godforsaken device you’re rolling with.

You go to the normal site and it just shows it in a mobile friendly way. Check, check, check it out..

Boom!

Now you’re talkin’ my language!

It loads up really quick and the response has been ok. And by “ok,” I mean phenomenal!

And no, I don’t know if there is a direct link to get to it – if your mobile device is good, it should pick it up and give you the right vibe.

NOW you’re living the holiday, my boet!

I assume! I mean, I don’t know anything about porn sites, but *ahem* it’s an interesting discussion, right? I think any commercially/economically/technologically inclined individual would be interested to note that they’ve launched some porn sites which have been tailor made for the iPad.

Like these guys:

VAN NUYS, CA–(Marketwire – April 1, 2010) – Adult entertainment studio Pink Visual announced today the launch of PinkVisualPad.com (just be careful when clicking that), a new website that is optimized for viewing on the much-anticipated iPad from Apple, which is due to hit shelves in the U.S. this Saturday, April 3.

pinkvisualpad.com – that’s where it’s all happening..
(NSFW – obviously..)

“We’re total Apple product nerds here at Pink Visual,” said Brand and Product Manager Kim Kysar. “As soon as Apple unveiled the iPad, we got to work on the site, even though we didn’t have much to go on at that point, other than the Safari engine. What we did know was that the iPad would sell like crazy, and that our customers and fans would expect Pink Visual to be at the forefront of the iPad porn market; with the launch of PinkVisualPad.com, that’s exactly where we are.”

Designed to adhere to webkit standards, PinkVisualPad.com makes extensive use of CSS, yielding a less graphic-heavy design and a faster loading site — crucial elements for a quick wank iPad users with slower WiFi connections, Kysar said.

ENJOY THIS: “we were the first company to have such a high volume of content for the iPhone and now we’re ready to ‘flip the switch’ for iPad porn as well. So, this won’t be some four-page-deep site with a few hundred clips; we’re talking about hours and hours of full-length scenes, including all of our most popular DVD titles.”

[more here]

That’s right, my friends, they’re just going to “flip the switch” to Pornville, USA!

Not that the Apple nerds who created the iPad are very pleased about it. No, sir! Do you think they had porn in mind when they made the sleek little toy?

Check out this video..

Get there.

But, for now, I think it’s important for us to see if the new iPad can blend.

Check it out:

Very interesting…

Did you think it would? I didn’t. But I’m impressed it did.

Can’t wait to get mine and try it out!

Have you ordered yours? I have.

[thanks dave]

I tell you what, I’m counting the days before this puppy appears at Digicape, But, in the meantime, the best we can do is check out these reviews from leading critics in the US. And they’re not looking too shabby!

And for those of you who continue to skip articles about the iPad – WAKE UP! Unless you’re over 80, you can’t carry on like that, my friend. This is happening. This is now.

The New York Times: “And the techies are right about another thing: The iPad is not a laptop. It’s not nearly as good for creating stuff. On the other hand, it’s infinitely more convenient for consuming it — books, music, video, photos, Web, e-mail and so on. For most people, manipulating these digital materials directly by touching them is a completely new experience — and a deeply satisfying one.”

Wall Street Journal: “If people see the iPad mainly as an extra device to carry around, it will likely have limited appeal. If, however, they see it as a way to replace heavier, bulkier computers much of the time—for Web surfing, email, social-networking, video- and photo-viewing, gaming, music and even some light content creation–it could be a game changer the way Apple’s iPhone has been.”

USA Today: “Apple has pretty much nailed it with this first iPad, though there’s certainly room for improvement. Nearly three years after making a splash with the iPhone, Apple has delivered another impressive product that largely lives up to the hype.”

Boing Boing: “Maybe the most exciting thing about iPad is the apps that aren’t here yet. [...] I like it a lot. But it’s the things I never knew it made possible — to be revealed or not in the coming months — that will determine whether I love it.”

PCMag: “There may be things it doesn’t do, but what it does do, it does remarkably well. Aside from the aforementioned limitations, there isn’t a lot else to gripe about. And to my great surprise, you can actually get real work done with the iPad.”

And there are even more – check out the Fast Company crib sheet for more inside info.

Until my iPad is ready, I’m freezing my body so that the waiting time doesn’t hurt so much..

Outside the San Francisco Apple Store on Saturday

The 50 Most Innovative Companies…on the iPad – The more globally and technologically aware of you lot will know that the highky anticipated Apple iPad finally hit shelves overseas this weekend. It sold something silly like 300,000 copies on it’s first day in the US, with total estimates looking at around 700,000. Here are some examples of the ways our Most Innovative Companies are taking advantage of Apple’s new tablet. [fastcompany]

World’s First iPad In Car – We asked you not to do it, but someone still went ahead and slapped an iPad into the dash of their Toyota truck to create what’s likely the world’s first iPad car installation not involving duct tape.Watching this video it’s hard to ignore how annoying, even in jest, the SoundMan Car Audio team behind the installation is, but the actual in-dash placement is clean and the use of a McIntosh amp is somewhat clever. We’re literally weeks away from in-car online streaming radio.. [jalopnik]

Apple Holding iPhone OS 4 Event – April 8th! – While we’re all in Apple mode, we might as well go the full hog. Yes folks — the world is turning upside down. Apple has announced an iPhone OS 4 event on April 8th at 10AM PT for a “sneak peek of the next generation of iPhone OS software.” So if you’re wondering about the future of the platform… your answers will appear sooner than you think. [engadget]

Tiger Woods Augusta Press Conference – Here is the complete transcript of Tiger Woods’ press conference on Monday at Augusta National. “I know that the players over the past few months have been bombarded by questions by all of you and the public as well. To all the players hopefully after asking questions at this press conference the players can be left alone to focus on the Masters and focus on their game. I apologize to them for having to endure what they’ve had to endure over the past few months.” [leeinks]

China Bans Bob Dylan, Confusing Him for ’60s Radical – It seems China has mistaken today’s essentially harmless Bob Dylan with the counterculture hero of the 1960s — the nation’s ministry of culture deemed the icon unfit for concerts in Shanghai and Beijing this spring. As a result, Dylan has canceled the rest of his east Asian tour. The Chinese gigs would have been a first for Dylan, 68, who still performs about 100 concerts per year. Hey, come to SA, my boyshay. [popeater]

Julius Malema Kills Kenny Rogers Lookalike – On Saturday night, Eugene Terreblanche, the leader of the Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging (AWB) was murdered on his farm in Ventersdorp. The alleged motive for the attack was a pay dispute between him and his slayers – two African gentlemen, aged 21 and 16 year, who hacked and bludgeoned him to death, using your garden variety knobkerrie and panga. [2oceansvibe]

Malema Denies Being Involved in Kenny Rogers Lookalike Death – With the murder of Eugene Terreblanche being seemingly linked to Julius Malemas calls to “kill the farmer,” Malema on Sunday denied responsibility, during an official visit to neighbouring Zimbabwe.”ANC will respond to that issue,” he said “On a personal capacity, I’m not going to respond to what people are saying. I’m in Zimbabwe now. I’m not linked to this.” [news24]

Sandra Bullock Fears Murder But Will File for Divorce – Sandra Bullock is terrified that Jesse James will try to kill her and then commit suicide, but she’s still filled out a divorce petition and will file it “any second,” writes Ian Halperin. The complaint alleges “physical and mental abuse,” sources say, and includes a request for a restraining order against James. Bullock “has barely slept the past couple of weeks” and is under 24-hour protection. [newser]

WikiLeaks VIDEO Exposes 2007 ‘Collateral Murder’ In Iraq – Calling it a case of “collateral murder,” the WikiLeaks Web site today released harrowing until-now secret video of a U.S. Army Apache helicopter in Baghdad in 2007 repeatedly opening fire on a group of men that included a Reuters photographer and his driver — and then on a van that stopped to rescue one of the wounded men. [huffington]

Lamborghini Gallardo LP570-4 Superleggera review – I wanted to tell you about the aeronautical tradition of superleggera (super-light) construction; of aluminium lovingly formed over gun-cotton-wrapped, small-diameter steel tubes. But down in the pit lane of the Monteblanco circuit near Seville in Spain, an engine whirrs on its starter, catches and shimmers the air with its singular, uneven warble. Your eyes dart over the window. Exploring the devil in the detail of the expensive new Lamborghini Gallardo LP 570-4 Superleggera. [telegraph]

Sean Penn Sued For Making Death Threats – Sean Penn threatened to kill a paparazzo if he ever ran into him again … this according to a new lawsuit filed by the photog. Jordan Dawes alleges he was filming a documentary about paparazzi last October in Brentwood, CA when Penn suddenly began “kicking and punching” him. In the suit, filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Dawes says Penn broke his camera and then said “the next time I see you, you will be in a box.” Hahahahaha!! [tmz]

I’ve Seen Some Good Movies Lately – I’ve been watching some cool movies on my Apple TV recently. I wanted to recommend (write these down) An Education, The Private Lives of Pippa Lee, The Informant, Fish Tank, Zombieland, Coco, A Serious Man, Good Hair, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Men Who Stare at Goats. Have a squizz at those. Some might be on at the cinema, some might be at the DVD store. But one things for sure – they’re ALL on the Apple TV. [appletv]

[thanks robert, andy]

You load it up and simply input the flight number and date of departure. Then BOOM! :

How rad is that!? – It tells you what time the plane left and if there were any delays, as well as the estimated time of arrival! All on your phone! Anywhere you are!! Some of you might be very impressed about that, but I’m starting to find tools like this normal.

But then I spotted that button at the top called “Map,” which I clicked. That’s when I became very fucking impressed with this little tool.

Check it out:

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!! It shows you where the goddamn plane is! I mean it’s one thing for the people on the plane to see on their little screens where they are, but what about the people on the ground?

I think this Flight Track tool is bloody marvelous!

Now when I say “tool” I actually mean “app.” It’s just another one of the tons of “apps” you can get on an iPhone.

It costs a chunk of money, I know – but I personally guarantee it will change your life. Honestly, I’m not trying to show off – I’m only doing this to improve your life.

Go on, do it – it’s time..

And then, just for kicks, try out the wireless (my bru) keyboard and mouse below. Just to further improve your vibe. And that mouse, that’s not a normal mouse. You can swipe your fingers across that beast and scroll around and zoom in and make scrolling “gestures” on it ALL NIGHT LONG!!! It’s wild!

Get it all now

You know with technology they always give things a version number? ‘cos they know things will improve and they will need to change the version number. Or if they give it a name, it’s always something like “Beast” or “Zion” – because it will eventually get old and fade away. They can’t call it something like “best” or “awesome,” because it will look stupid in years to come and it WON’T be the best anymore.

Then how amazing must the new Mac Mouse be, for them to confidently call it a “Magic Mouse.” That’s.the.name.of.the.thing! A fucking MAGIC MOUSE!!??? They’re willing to put their balls on the block that is will always be magic! Wow!

THEN you know – it’s gotta be incredible!

By the way those items are sitting on a glass table.

They’re not floating.

That will be next year when they bring out the MacBook “Fucking Awesome” model.

Apple debuted its new iPad commercial during Sunday night’s 2010 Academy Awards telecast, sparking immediate buzz on Twitter and leading tech blogs.

Tech blog Mashable posted a picture from earlier in the evening showing Apple CEO Steve Jobs on the red carpet Sunday at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood.

Jobs is a board member at Walt Disney, which owns Pixar — the studio that produced last night’s animation Oscar-winner “Up.”

[source : freep]

Number 1 in Google (after geo locator)

So what happens is people go to Google to find a store in Cape Town selling Apple products. Then they find the above article (written a year ago), then they read the comments, then they go to Digicape (mentioned over and over again as the better option for Apple products).

It’s quite interesting, no? That is why the comments section is continuously growing under that article. Similar to the one about “Portofino Restaurant” or “woolworths online hampers” or “eddie izzard cape town” or “cape town panel beater” or “hudsons burger joint” or “ray ban rare prints” or “amor vittone” or “puma store waterfront.” The list goes on..

Needless to say iStore and Core have never attempted to address the aforementioned article or the constant stream of grievances in the comments section – they just let it carry on! Why? Well it’s those very self-importance issues discussed in the those hundreds of unanswered comments and complaints, isn’t it?

Why should a company who is known for not giving a fuck, give a fuck?

There couldn’t BE any stronger affirmation of their purported arrogance.

Go to Newlands. Field looks awesome. What a vibe. Want to capture it. Hey, should I capture it with my free internet access, or should I use this app I’ve got here? Hmm… can my massive-wank “BB” stitch these 12 photos seamlessly together for me?

BOOM!

Click these images, my little analogue keyboard freak-buddies..

Stormers v ACT – Super 14 game

SA vs Italy – BMW International Polo at Val de Vie
Saturday afternoon – Val de Vie – drowning in oysters

That was my weekend! How much free internet did you get this weekend? Fuck, that must have been AWESOME!

Shame.

Oh, did I tell you about the Sleep Cycle Alarm app?

Oh, shit, sorry. Nevermind!

CLICK HERE to improve your life dramatically.

You sad, sad, person..

[thanks alex]

Search for “waterfront istore”

Google Analytics reports that 285 people came to 2oceansvibe in the last month following a search for that phrase or a variant thereof in Google. Fair enough – it kind of makes sense that locals and foreigners looking to buy an Apple product in Cape Town may well search Google for something like that. Or, as is clear from the 142 mainly-negative comments, people who have had a nasty experience at the iStore are going home and searching for fellow disgruntled customers. Which they find very quickly – including my very own tale of annoyance.

That’s where we are now – modern day society. That’s what people do.

The two most recent comments under that article tell us:

Two of the 142 (and counting) comments

“Satan’s iStore?” – wowsers! – there’s a lot of passion in those comments! With such anger and sadness directed at a retail shop, one wonders why the company that owns it has never said a word about it. Never followed up. Never apologised.

That’s just not the way we do things around here and, as with everything else in my life that is not simple, easy and pleasant – there is just no place for it.

It just so happens that Apple’s saviour in South Africa, Digicape, is one of 2oceansvibe’s associated brands. You’ll find that with all the 2oceansvibe brands – solid people and products, vetted by me, saving you the pain. One trusted supplier for every need = a stress free life.

ie. living the holiday..

Digicape.co.za – go on, treat yourself..

It’s interesting the number of articles out there that get found on Google as an organic result. Try “john smit book” some time. Or “portofino restaurant cape town” (yet to release a public apology) or “woolworths online hampers” or “eddie izzard cape town” or “cape town panel beater” or “hudsons burger joint” or “ray ban rare prints” or “amor vittone” or “puma store waterfront.” The list goes on..

No surprises there – that’s what Search Engine Optimisation is all about and something 2oceansvibe happens to do well at.

I’m more concerned about the Apple iStore and Cores of the world who, quite simply, do not give a fuck.

Great to watch. Keep it up.

We launched the competition at the end of last week with the instructions given to you during the 2oceansvibe Weather Girls show with Tracy McGregor.

We will be announcing the winner before 5pm tomorrow (Wednesday 20 May 2009).

Seth rolls with the iPhone 3G
You WANT this phone

All you need to do to enter to competition is forward me your transaction number after playing the EuroMillions lottery via sms. That means that you will have a chance to win a fortune and, if that fails, you might even win an iPhone!

It’s very simple to do and you can find the instructions at the top of the screen after clicking HERE.

What’s more, PlayEuroMillions will double your first deposit into your account, which you then use to play the lottery via sms or online. (Whilst the iPhone comp is open to all people playing via sms, the money doubling vibe is only for new registrations and only if they deposit within a week.)

Remember, to enter THIS particular iPhone competition, you MUST play via sms.

GO! GO! GO!

COMPETITION CLOSES AT 15:40 ON WEDNESDAY
WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED AT 16:00

We have been reporting the iStore/Core Group saga to you since last week. It began with my personal account of a dismal experience in the Waterfront iStore (here), which ended up with me going next door to Incredible Connection.

I then followed up with an article (here) responding to reader’s questions, confirming that South Africa’s Apple distributors, The Core Group, had not yet released a statement nor had they attempted to make contact with regards to what is rapidly turning into a diabolical situation. I went on to say that they must know about the drama, as the story I wrote comes up at the number 1 position in Google for the search phrase “waterfront apple mac” – the story is very much out there.

But then it became clearly as to why the Core Group don’t seem to give a toss.

They never have..

For those of you who haven’t had a chance to peruse the comments section of the original article (92 so far) or the follow-up article, here are some interesting pearls.

# Hectique Prognosis Says:
May 17th, 2009 at 8:19 pm e

Let me see if I get this:
Core is the sole importer of Apple products in South Africa, because they have sole rights for distribution. They resell to retailers in South Africa… AND they have their own retail stores? Does that not sound teensy bit wrong? They must really have the other Apple resellers by the balls. Any wonder they behave as if they own the place? Talk about a conflict of interest…

# Anon a miss Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 1:50 pm e

They won’t respond and why should they? This Core flaming will all blow over soon and then it will be business as usual. Besides, what do they care? Those Apple products that you guys bought from Incredible Connection/Digicape etc were IMPORTED BY CORE anyways! And where are those resellers gonna get more stock from? From Core, LOL. Its not like anyone else is even ALLOWED to import Apple products into SA. Monopolies are so lame and there are LOTS on South Africa.

Guess Who Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 2:28 pm e

I worked for Core HQ. Most resellers really hate The Core Group. Makro, Hifi and IC, the are forced to do business with Core. Believe me, some people from Core are not welcome anymore at these Head Offices.
They lost TomTom, (google TomTom / Core South Africa,) there are law suits because they ruined the TT Business. Unfortunately they have Nintendo as well, this is going strong as far as I can see. Go to Apple Sandton, they are grey importers as Core will call them, believe me the offer good service and full warranty !

 

# Can this be? Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 11:46 am e

All this info is most disturbing. If CORE is the only Distributor in South Africa, but are also infiltrating the Retail market, where does their loyalty lie when it comes to stock allocations? Would this explain why at times the iStores have stock, but not the other Resellers? Can this be? Somehow this doesn’t seem right… Talk about a monopoly…

MAC GIRL Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 9:45 am e

I worked at the istore for 2 years and working for the core company was horrible. I believe that customer service is comes first! And to them it wasnt, it was the last thing.. they were more worried about what the store looks like than anything else.
I aggree with the earlier post…. the reason for lack of knowledge is staff leaving after 2-6 months cause the core company treat their staff like crap!!
When they are not happy with a staff member they will work that person out of the company in the most horrific ways!!NO MATTER IF YOU WERE ONE OF THEIR STAR EMPLOYEES!! they just dont give a shit! And yes.. they do have the resellers by the balls… as the resellers cant complain cause there is no point to complaining if you can only deal with them and no one else. I also aggree with another post that said they should stick to distrubuting… and stay as far away from the retail stores as possible…. the worst part is… they wont! they are trying to increase their footprint and opening up more stores…. the waterfront was the first store to open.. and it was suppose to be their blue print store…they promised they will perfect that store before opening any others… but they didnt… the waterfront store had so many issues but they continued to open more… (money hungry)…
not realizing they were hurting the brand by doing that…
there are so many wrongs i dont ever think there would be a right!

 

# budmoto Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:17 pm e

The Core Business Group…. little people with big money.

I worked there and realized I couldn’t stay on and keep my sanity so I left. Service is abysmal.
The manager there, Karen, is a great person and good at what she does but she relies on Core and you can only imagine what that is like.
Your best bet is to support DigiCape until they are strong enough to compete with Core for the rights to distribute Apple products in South Africa.

# NOT!!! Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 4:19 pm e

The sad thing is that Core have forgotten that their main business should be DISTRIBUTION (as the only authorized distributors of Apple in SA), but they are so busy trying to push the resellers out of the market, that they’re stuffing up the entire brand in this country. No stock, no service, no nothing…. Mac products are so over priced in SA – I guess all the profit goes into Core’s pockets, ’cause apparently the resellers ain’t making much on it…

 

# Minnaar Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 12:03 pm e

That store is a joke. With the recent rand instability I was once again surprised at the wonder that is Apple in SA.

I went in to buy a dock for my iPhone, and it had a printed price on its package of R399. When I reached the till they told me sorry, the price has increased to R470.

Now this I dont understand. If you have it in stock, how can the price change the moment I buy it?

Is there not some law against this?

Apple in South Africa is a joke – the computers are overpriced compared to overseas as well. Lets see how long they take to decrease the prices now that the rand is stronger.

 

# PaulMark Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 12:47 pm e

I am a Apple convert through and through. Great products and (internationally) great service.

Since returning from the UK I have been shocked by the Apple retail experience in SA. There is no official Apple retail presence in SA. The iStores (owned by Core) are the closest thing to it. Unfortunately they are poor imitations of the genuine article. To start with the products are completely overpriced. This is blamed on exchange rates but of course the prices never go down when the rate improves. The staff know next to nothing about the computers they are trying to sell and seem to have the attitude that they are actually doing you a favour!

Wish Apple would realise the damage that Core is doing to their reputation for good service and open their own official Apple retail store in SA.

Havent said all that I have had good experiences at Digicape. Prices still arent great (Core sets the prices) but at least their service seems pretty decent.

 

# Anonymous Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm e

I am a current iStore employee (I cannot say which store), and I just have to say that I fully agree with Seth.

While I consider myself and a select few of my colleagues to be great salespeople and very knowledgeable with Apple’s products and accessories, as well as the tech industry in general, the majority of employees are not.

The reason for this is that the turnover of staff is very high (the average period of employment is usually only a couple of months before they decide to leave) and as a result they don’t have time to be trained properly or gain experience.

In my opinion, the reason the staff turnover is so high is because Core treats their employees, to put it simply, like complete shit. They do not keep their promises, their demands are unrealistic and they are very stingy.

I really hope Apple enter the market in South Africa and open up one of their official retail stores. Employees like myself and a few of my colleagues will happily abandon Core to work for Apple, officially.

Regards,

Anonymous iStore employee.

And so it goes on..

For those of you who haven’t had a chance to peruse the comments sections – check the original article and the follow-up article.

And I doubt they aren’t aware of it. When the comments section includes responses from current and ex-employees, as well as the owner of the Claremont iStore and a Google number 1 result for the search phrase “waterfront apple mac,” one would think it had come to their attention.

Not enough..

This, from a current Waterfront iStore employee (featured in the comments section of the original article):

Anonymous Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm

I am a current iStore employee (I cannot say which store), and I just have to say that I fully agree with Seth.

While I consider myself and a select few of my colleagues to be great salespeople and very knowledgeable with Apple’s products and accessories, as well as the tech industry in general, the majority of employees are not.

The reason for this is that the turnover of staff is very high (the average period of employment is usually only a couple of months before they decide to leave) & as a result they don’t have time to be trained properly or gain experience.

In my opinion, the reason the staff turnover is so high is because Core treats their employees, to put it simply, like complete shit. They do not keep their promises, their demands are unrealistic and they are very stingy.

I really hope Apple enter the market in South Africa and open up one of their official retail stores. Employees like myself and a few of my colleagues will happily abandon Core to work for Apple, officially.

Regards,

Anonymous iStore employee.

Do yourself a favour and check out the rest of those comments . Out of a current 85 comments, there is ONE positive comment. ALL the rest are negative and most of them are directed at both the iStore and the SA distributors, Core.

Look, they’re consistent – I’ll give them that.

So I cruised in and waited for a few minutes for anyone to notice me. I did two laps of honour, to be honest. there was one other customer in the shop and three members of staff – one of them helping that customer.

It was like something out of the movie Chopper. Those of you who have seen it will remember the scene in the prison when all the people in the cell deny having witnessed Chopper’s recent murder (which happened right next to them). “Well, officer, I missed it all – you see, I was washing my hands in the basin. And Jimmy was watching me wash my hands. And Bruce was watching Jimmy watch me wash my hands” etc etc.

You get the idea.

“Bradley” reluctantly decides to get involved and I explain to him that I need an iPod Shuffle. Cool, he says, as he gets me one from the display cupboard.

We go to the counter. I’m in a bit of a rush as I’m just here to get the iPod – I’m not looking for an experience or anything.

“Have you bought from us before?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” I answer. “Do you take American Express?”

“Yes we do. What is your surname please?”

I give him my surname.

“What is your first name.”

I give him my first name.

“Could I get your home address if that’s ok?” He gave me the option.

“Nah,” I said, “I’d prefer not to” as I looked around to see if the shop doubled up as a pharmacy – who have to by law get your details if you buy certain products.

“Okay,” said Bradley, “Can I have your phone number please.”

“I’d rather not give my phone number, bru. I just want to buy the iPod and move on with my life. Can I do that please?”

“We need your phone number” said Bradley.

“Can you not make the sale without my phone number?” I asked, bemused.

“No, I can’t,” he replied.

“I see. Do they sell these things next door at Incredible Connection?”

“Yes they do,” confirmed Bradley.

“Cool. Goodbye!” as I spun on my heel and went next door to Incredible Connection.

I did not walk fast and he made no attempt to stop me. I swear to God – it was QUITE bizarre.

They had the same unit there at Increidble Connection for EXACTLY the same price. And no-one asked me any questions to beef up any database and ruin my shopping experience. And even if they did, I DOUBT they would have denied me the purchase if I chose not to.

In and out – that is what MOST people want from their shopping experience.

Thank you Incredible Connection.

iStore – FAIL.

I won’t be going back anytime soon.

Have YOU had a drama with the iStore or Core, the company that owns it? Let us know by leaving a comment to this article.

Recent remarks on Twitter include:

iStore V&A is a joke Seth. This one “techie” dropped my iphone 3G trying to fit a iphone NON-3G case to it. (@charlformd)

Apple’s lack of official presence in SA allows the greed and incompetence of Core (iStore) to ruin it’s reputation 4 service (@paul_mark)

they can’t force you to give them your number!!! (@andrewfarr)