Eyewitness news published the following:

His domestic worker made the discovery when she arrived for duty on Tuesday morning. The woman who discovered the man’s body is currently giving a statement to police. Speaking to Eyewitness News, one bystander said they heard a commotion coming from the house on Monday  evening. It is understood there were three people inside the house, including the victim. It is still not clear how the man died, but foul play is suspected.

Journalist, Paula Chowles tweeted this additional info. – (click continue reading)

[Source : EWN]

So anyway I thought I would open it up this year and all of you could copy and paste the outrageous SMSs you receive, right here in the comments section.

I’ll kick it off with this little beauty I received last night:

Happy New Year to you – We will open the book, its pages are blank, we are going to put words on them ourselves, the book is called opportunity and the first chapter is New Years Day! Lots of love xx

Hahaha! Are you kidding me?

“We will open the book!!”

Haaaah!!

“The book is called opportunity!” – Don’t be absolutely preposterous!

Anyway, you get the picture. And I am sure you have received a few yourself. So do the right thing and share them below. And if you’re worried your friend might see it below and know it’s you, don’t worry – they send them to a million people and they probably got it from someone else in the first place.

Naturally 2oceansvibe is now available on mobile, which means you can cut and paste straight from your SMS box into your web browser (into the comments section below). Or just re-type the message into the comments below. Or copy and paste the SMS into an email to yourself – then move to the comments section below. Whatever you do, just get it to the comments section below.

Follow the link to enlarge the photograph. 

[thanks martin]

Says Dean Delaney:

Hey Seth, just wanted to share this little piece of brilliance with you. Stranger things have happened at the 24 hour Woolworths, I know, but this was just perfect for last night. What makes it even better is that the perpetrators were none the wiser and really couldn’t understand what I found so amusing…

Well done, Dean. Well done.

The Cape Town branch of the campaign is planning on occupying Parliament Gardens on Saturday the 15 October at 08h00. Check out their Facebook page, which was about 200-strong at time of writing. The #occupycapetown hashtag is also lighting up pretty quickly on Twitter.

The Durban Group, meanwhile, plans on occupying City Hall, while the Johannesburg group stakes out the Exchange Square.

Says the Occupy South Africa website:

Our Mission:

On October 15th 2011 , we want to see 20,000 people to flood into Cape Town CBD, set up beds, kitchens, peaceful barricades and occupy Cape Town Parliament Gardens.

Like our brothers and sisters at Wall Street and in Egypt, Greece, Spain, and Iceland, we plan to use the revolutionary Arab Spring tactic of mass occupation to restore democracy in South Africa. We also encourage the use of nonviolence to achieve our ends and maximize the safety of all participants.

…

Occupy SA – Operation Ubuntu is a leaderless resistance movement with people of many colors, genders and political persuasions. The one thing we all have in common is that We Are The 99% that will no longer tolerate the greed and corruption of the 1%. The People come as the People.

The other thing that all these guys have in common, obviously, is Facebook and Twitter. Still, it should be something worth looking out for. The Cape Town branch has a planning day on Monday, 10 October at 15h00 at Community House, Salt River Road in Salt River.

[Source: OccupySA ]

This is happening right now on the corner of Buitenkant and Roeland Street. If you’re in the city, you should get out onto the street, slap your shades on, and enjoy the timeless combination of fresh air and quality humour.

And now from the side.

Click to enlarge

A thing of beauty.

[Thanks, Alan]

I don’t normally get too excited over this kind of thing, but there are certain matters that a man simply cannot turn a blind eye to. One of those things is a good lamb shank. Moreover, a good lamb shank in winter is not only good for the body, but good for the soul. I swear.

Groupon are offering a 60% saving on delicious, sweet, succulent, unctuous, lamb shanks – two of them – served with slow-roasted vegetables and a bottle of Sweetwell Farm Cab Sav. You get that for R106.

Really. No lies. There you are. Your entertainment budget is salvaged. If you want the deal then visit mycitydeal.co.za. On Friday and Saturday you can nab the lamb on the Stellenbosch page, and on Saturday you can Saturday you’ll also find the deal on the Cape Town page.

Just because we love you.

The above video was posted by YouTube user, thefullreport, on 9 June 2011.

The descriptive text below the video suggests that an initial confrontation occurred between Locnville and a friend of thefullreport, who then exited the scene. An unaffiliated group of four men walked past Locnville, noticed the commotion, and proceeded to lambast Locnville with insults. The exchange resulted in a light punch-up between Locnville and the group of four men. Subsequent to that, the police arrived, and confronted Locnville and a friend of the group over their alleged disorderly behaviour.

The footage shown here captures the scene immediately after the punch-up between Locnville and the group of four.

Read the video description here:

After chatting to one of the twins for quite some time, a friend of mine said, “I’m hating”. It was more of a compliment than anything else. He was implying that he is jealous of the twins success and travels. He over-reacted, ran inside and called his brother and his friend.

The trio came out swearing and asking if anybody knew where he was. By this stage he was already sitting in the car, enjoying his pie and completely uninterested in the whole situation. As you can imagine, the trio were making quite a big scene. I tried reasoning with them but my efforts rendered useless. I gave up and walked away and was about to climb into the car when four guys walked past. They noticed the scene the trio were causing and somebody said something along the lines, ‘you’re a bunch of fags’. Locnville’s friend threw a punch which started a bit of a fist fight (neither twin joined the physical fight). It ended quite quickly.

This video was what happened immediately after. The group separates after the security guard was forced to whip out his taser. The trio carry on swearing while walking away. I called it a night as Designated Dave had to be at work at 8. So I am unsure of what happened after. I can imagine an employee at Engen called the police. The police were most likely following up on assault and I can imagine, the trio were uncooperative. They were very drunk, had a very bad attitude and were acting like idiots. The reason why I uploaded this was because they were allegedly victims of police brutality. I’m pretty sure they weren’t. It seems more along the lines of “boy in blue, don’t touch me in my studio” (with the celebrity styled belligerent attitude, obviously) . I’m sure the police were just doing their duty and were trying to restrain the trio.

I just wanted to point out that they seem like the victims of the situation but most likely aren’t. They are covering up their bad behaviour by bringing up ‘police brutality’, etc. and trying to get sympathetic responses. I know our police force has been involved in corruption and some officers seem incapable of holding a weapon. But anyone that was involved in a hijacking, break in, or extremely dangerous situation will vouch for me when I say ‘they do their job properly when we most need it’. So don’t use that as an excuse for your bad behaviour. Also, its unfair to blame the police when the trio committed punishable offences. You guys should grow up!

Anyway, that’s my side of the story. I hope trolls don’t attack the comments section below and it somehow turns into a racist argument. Honestly, I have lost all respect for the kids. Maybe they should stay away from alcohol. Because it didn’t look like they only “had a bit to drink”.

Maybe they will release a song about it. Who know’s? They can call it “I got the sun in my pocket and mace in my face” and add all the same monotonous synths again like they did on their last album.

Read Locnville’s official version of events below:

Official Statement From Locnville Regarding The Incident In Claremont, Cape Town

Thursday 9th June 2011 – 12:30pm

Following the incident that has been widely reported in the news, this is Locnville’s version of the events that took place in the early hours of this morning, Thursday 9th June.

Andrew and Brian Chaplin, together with a friend, had been out at Trinity nightclub in Cape Town. At around 4am this morning they decided to catch a taxi home as they had been drinking and didn’t want to drive. They asked the taxi driver to stop off at the Engen Garage in Claremont as they wanted to buy some food at the Steers. Upon entering the garage, a group of four males started hurling abuse at Locnville calling them amongst other things “Fags” and “Wankers”. This is something which Andrew and Brian have become accustomed to being in the public eye. Andrew Chaplin responded to the abuse by saying to the group “I really don’t need to hear this.” and walked away.

This group of males continued the abuse, were aggressive and a slight altercation broke out. Andrew and Brian Chaplin, together with their friend, walked away from the incident. Upon leaving the Engen garage shop, they were approached by two police officers who were aggressive from the start and wanted to find out what the story was? Andrew and Brian responded by saying they’d got into an incident and why were the police looking at them alone, as opposed to the four males who started the confrontation and were hurling abuse at them?

Andrew and Brian then left the garage and attempted to climb into a taxi to continue their journey home. They were then pulled out of the taxi by the same two police officers. Andrew and Brian appealed to the police officers to calm down and despite this Brian was sprayed in the face with Mace/Pepper Spray. They managed to get away after a group of security guards who saw the incident assisted them.

Once they arrived at their home in Claremont, Andrew Chaplin tried to call the Claremont Police Station repeatedly and claimed that the police officers who answered the phone literally “laughed at me and hung up each time”.

Andrew and Brian Chaplin, together with their father, will be meeting with Lieutentant Colonel Andre Traut of SAPS this afternoon.

Before the Locnville twins take their complaint any further, they should be aware that the name of the Western Cape Police Commissioner is Arno Lemoer.

Wrong. We love cyclists. Hell, we love bikes, and biking around. We just can’t get behind The Prawn.

That said, Danny MacAskill is no prawn. He’s a stylish, skilled athlete, and he makes the infrastructure of our beloved city look oh-so-fine.

[Thanks, Mark!]

The Princess Emma – Winning!

We know who you are. Tomorrow, we’re coming for you, and we’re getting you on a yacht, and we can do it nice and easy-like, or the hard way.

That’s all up to your boss.

So employers of Cape Town. Ready yourselves. Steel your constitutions. Because tomorrow, we could be coming for YOUR employees. Do you want to be the boss who stood in the way of progress, happiness and liberation? Or are you going to seize the moment? It’s going to happen, either way.

So make sure you’re tuned in to 2oceansvibe Radio all day tomorrow to find out who the lucky winner is, and catch all of the unfolding action.

We’ll be broadcasting for the duration of the day from The Princess Emma, kindly provided by the good people at The Last Word, a group of five star intimate hotels in and around Cape Town, with properties in Bishopscourt, Constantia, Camp’s Bay, Franschhoek, Kommetjie and of course, Princess Emma.

“I’m on a boat”. That is all.

Like this. Think about this very carefully. There is not one person I know who doesn’t dig the idea of a great pair of shades to protect their peepers. Even you. Some people want to go big, with flashy names everywhere, whereas others go for a more subtle vibe. Personally, I dig chicks’ shades. Got a pair of Diors this week – very naughty! Oh, and a pair of Persols (were you aware that most of the coolest people in the world wear Persol? It’s true. Look here).

The point is, everyone knows that quality/designer sunglasses can get a bit pricey. Sure they can. But you weigh up the quality and eye-protection with the fact that they make you look incredibly awesome, and it all makes sense. But sometimes it is the person’s first time buying pricey shades and they still can’t convince themselves.

I get a lot of people asking for me to plug them in for secret discounts at every single one of the 2oceansvibe brands, and everyone is getting along just swell “living the holiday” (the feeling one gets when enjoying zero-annoyance and quality products). And when it comes to Sunglass Hut, I’m usually able to organise 20% or so discount (similar to the 2ocansvibe Puma discount of 20%). That often gets people very excited.

Which is why I am telling you how important this article is. This is perhaps the moment that you realise, “Oh my God, I need a new pair of shades,” because, let’s face it, you do. Everyone does. But you never get them because they’re too expensive. And then you get angry with people that don’t mind dropping that kind of tom. By Friday you’re wearing skinny jeans and a trilby and hanging with your new group of ‘like-minded’ people.  Well, you can stop your whining, sunshine.

Listen to this: There is a ridiculous 30%-off (or 40% if you buy two pairs) sale going on at Sunglass Hut at the moment. I want you to grasp now how useful this information is. This is not another sale. This is THE sale that EVERYONE has been waiting for.

This, my friends, is VERY IMPORTANT NEWS. It seriously is – don’t pretend it’s not.

Take your buddy or your chick or your boyfriend and get 40% off your shades if you buy a pair each. do it with great urgency. The Offer only runs for a month or so.

Come on. That’s pretty much half price. They basically giving away free shades at Sunglass Hut.

Think of how many car-guards you will be able to pay with the money you saved..

Seriously.

Maybe it’s time you grew up a little.

The photograph related to a story about about part-time workers suffering (presumably) sexual abuse at the hands of a local employer.

Of course, The Voice went with a harder line. Click link to check that out..

[Thank you, oh, thank you, Sugar!]

The former powerhouse of the apartheid regime has reinvented itself with a slightly different name and a slightly new look ahead of the local elections.

Which means that we can look forward to such delightful treats as slightly different race hatred, which was tacitly confirmed by the leader of the party, Achmat [no spice] Williams, when he said that his party believes they have “remained largely unchanged from previous incarnations.”

The base of operations for their abhorrent bigotry campaign is Goodwood, because, you know, any place with a Voortrekker Road running through it is probably good enough for your average blinked, stiff-jointed, toady-eyed, partially-fossilized perma-Nazi.

[Source : EWN]

That document is the full transcript of proceedings in a criminal case currently being argued in the Cape Town High Court.

The transcript details an altercation between Judge Lee Bozalek and Advocate Nehemiah Ballem. And by “altercation” I mean a verbal smackdown. Enjoy this portion of the exchange.

Judge: You must be careful with your attitude before the court, Mr Ballem.

Mr Ballem: But then you also mustn’t come with your attitude.

Judge: Excuse me?

Mr Ballem: I said, you mustn’t come with an attitude, because we are both adults, I am not your child.

Judge: Mr Ballem, I must tell you… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: I said I’m not your child.

Judge: I must warn you… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: You are doing whatever you want, whatever you want.

Judge: You are sailing very close to the wind.

Mr Ballem: Your mother’s poes, man, fuck you! (Mr Ballem leaves the court)

The most shocking details of the transcript are, of course, the advocate’s persistent – and rather brutal profanity – directed squarely at the Judge. These points have been pointed out by the mainstream media.

However, when you read the transcript in full (original document and full English translation below), it becomes exceedingly clear that Advocate Ballem was irked by his obligation to work on a Friday.

We’re not sure if he’ll be appearing in any court again after painting the Judge with such colourful language, so perhaps living the holiday will come sooner rather than later for our hero.

[Thanks, Schalk!]

Download the original transcript HERE

See the full translation:

Mr Ballem: May it please the court, your Honour, I appear on behalf of the appellant.

Miss Van Rooyen: Like the court has pleased, your Honour, I appear on behalf of the respondent.

Judge: Now, in the first place, Mr Ballem, where were you this morning?

Mr Ballem: Your Honour, I just want to know if my secretary gave you a message?

Judge: Yes, we have such a confused message… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: Did you… (Interruption)

Judge: About the car problems you had.

Mr Ballem: Exactly, now do you want to hear it again?

Judge: Excuse me?

Mr Ballem: Do you want to hear the excuse again?

Judge: Yes.

Mr Ballem: My car broke down.

Judge: Excuse me?

Mr Ballem: My car broke down.

Judge: Now why did you decide this at about 10am when you knew court was ready to continue?

Mr Ballem: We had to wait for the AA.

Judge: Excuse me?

Mr Ballem: We had to wait for the AA.

Judge: But you obviously have a cellphone?

Mr Ballem: I didn’t know about the case, my diary was not with me.

Judge: Your bag wasn’t with you? (Judge had mistakenly heard the Afrikaans word “sakkie” after Mr Ballem used the word “saak”)

Mr Ballem: My diary was not with me.

Judge: Yes, couldn’t you have phoned the High Court a half hour before the time, an hour before the time?

Mr Ballem: Judge, how long are we going to struggle with this? I have now made an effort to get here.

Judge: Mr Ballem, maybe you don’t understand, your first duty if you have an appearance at the High Court is to be here, and you are not doing us a favour bringing your problems here. Why do you turn your face away from me when I’m talking?

Mr Ballem: Well, I asked my secretary to pass on the message and I expected her to do so.

Judge: Yes, but then we also get… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: Now you do you want to hear the excuse again?

Judge: Then we also get another funny excuse via a telephone call – can the case not just be postponed until Monday?

Mr Ballem: Precisely, and then I get the message that you are prepared to wait for me, now I’m here.

Judge: Were you involved at any other court this morning?

Mr Ballem: No I wasn’t, judge, I am now here. (Slams hand on desk)

Judge: Sir, your attitude, you must… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: But then you also mustn’t come… (Interruption)

Judge: You must be careful with your attitude before the court, Mr Ballem.

Mr Ballem: But then you also mustn’t come with your attitude.

Judge: Excuse me?

Mr Ballem: I said, you mustn’t come with an attitude, because we are both adults, I am not your child.

Judge: Mr Ballem, I must tell you… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: I said I’m not your child.

Judge: I must warn you… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: You are doing whatever you want, whatever you want.

Judge: You are sailing very close to the wind.

Mr Ballem: Your mother’s poes, man, fuck you! (Mr Ballem leaves the court)

Judge: Miss Van Rooyen?

Miss Van Rooyen: I can’t answer for that, your Honour, maybe we must just strike the case off the roll for today and look at it again… (Interruption)

Judge: I think the case must just be postponed sine dei [indefinitely].

Me Van Rooyen: I will also agree with that, your Honour, we can get other legal representation and then… (Interruption)

Judge: How will we organise that then?

Me Van Rooyen: Your Honour, I will take the case back to advocate van der Merwe, he will then decide who will take over the case and from there, if we can get the support, everything else is ready.

Judge: The case will then – I think it must be held in the same court and I think the most appropriate order is to postpone indefinitely and you can carry out the correct procedures concerning legal representation. I don’t know if we’ll see the same legal representative again. Good, this appeal is then indefinitely postponed and Snellers (legal transcribers) are asked to type out all the proceedings that have taken place here this afternoon.

[Image : IOL]

Today is Friday. You know what that means. That means that we knock off at 12h00.

Do you know why we knock off at 12h00? Because we’re not lying to ourselves.

“I”M NOT LYING TO MYSELF.”

You shouldn’t either.

No one is working productively after 12h00 on a Friday afternoon. The only thing that happens is the willful killing of time, begging every second flee before the great hand of 17h00 on the office wall clock.

But enough of that. You can read the rest of the well-reasoned argument here, and previously, here.

We promised you that we would do something to remedy this farcical situation. We’re actually aiming to get local, and someday, national labour law changed, to reflect the actual habits and working hours of Cape Town’s great unwashed (that would be you and me). So we’ve been lobbying our asses off. You can sign the petition here. It’s a pleasure.

So throughout this week we’ve been attempting to deliver the reams of signed petition notices to the Mayoral office. But we’re trying to get a dialogue going, so we won’t engage in mischievous tendencies, like dumping bundles of paper on the steps of the civic offices. No, we want to have tea. Tea, which was offered to us some time ago.

As you can see, our attempt to redeem the Mayor’s invitation to tea has been rebuffed. Dialogue is not possible for the next three weeks.

Hell, we even sent Dan Plato a friend request on Facebook. No dice.

This will not stand.

Stand by for what we call a lobbying “lesson in initiative”.

Cape Town city spokesperson Kylie Hatton said this morning that police had been posted in the hotspots most badly affected by yesterday’s outbreak of taxi violence, which included stone throwing at a Golden Arrow Bus.  According to Hatton there are metro police monitoring Mfuleni, Khayelitsha, Crossroads and Nyanga.

While a few taxis are operating in certain areas, most taxi commuters were left stranded without transport again this morning.

“We are nowhere near a 50% service,” she said.

Santaco secretary general Philip Taaibosch said yesterday that Santaco members are protesting against the provincial government’s handling of the taxi industry, including unduly strict law enforcement and the lengthy process of issuing licences.

Via News24

A Golden Arrow bus was stoned in the Mfuleni area and nine people were arrested for public violence, said police spokesperson Warren Filander. One person was arrested for public violence in Nyanga, and eight others were arrested in the Mfuleni area.

“The police did fire some rubber bullets in Nyanga. There are no reports of any injuries,” he said.

Members of the SA National Taxi Council (Santaco) are striking in protest of the Western Cape provincial government’s handling of the taxi industry, said Santaco general secretary Philip Taaibosch.

Santaco members are protesting the cumbersome process of issuing taxi operating licences and the heavy-handed enforcement of traffic laws – with taxis regularly being impounded without good reason, according to Taaibosch.

“It is the only province in South Africa where you find that taxi operators are harassed in such a big way,” he said.

Taaibosch ensures that the strike will end once the issues have been addressed. Here’s hoping.

Via News24.com

Let’s repeat that for those of your whose minds are exploding at this point. Together now. Breathe in, and hold it, and…

“Work does not happen on Friday afternoons.”

That felt good, didn’t? I bet it felt GREAT to admit that. You know it. Come on, you do. Don’t lie to me, you naughty little Friday afternoon meeting ferret.

Look, the last time I wrote about this issue was in November 2006. The rant seemed to do the job. People were finally “getting” that we prepare ourselves for two solid days of rest and relaxation. But bad habits die hard, and more and more people are hitting me up on Thursday evening for Friday afternoon meetings.

We don’t do meetings on Friday afternoons, okay? None of the employees at the desks in your office are working, either. They only sit upright when you walk past, because you’re such a fun-nazi. And look at that, you made them cock up their game of tetris.

Here’s two visual suggestions of things you could, and should be doing instead on a Friday afternoon.

I’d probably manage to pump out a few emails from there.

STOP THE PRESSES: Someone literally just had the audacity to suggest a Friday  afternoon meeting at three. This is a guy that I don’t mind – actually, scratch that, I like him, but if he honestly believes it’s not completely toilet to suggest having a meeting that will require concentration and hand-holding and following up literally TWO HOURS before the legal beginning of the weekend, then you are having one hell of a laugh my friend. And it’s RUDE.

Why don’t you just be true to yourself and admit the FACT that that no ones cares on a Friday afternoon. It’s rude, and it’s putting me in an awkward place, because you’re trying to show off.

And I’m not impressed.  It’s not clever,  it’s a let down. You’ve let me down. You look stupid. Stop it.

Stop. it.

Daddy loves you.

Who agrees with this? Hey? Let’s all get in a big circle and say together, “We don’t work on Friday afternoons.” Okay? It’s the honest thing to do.

Why do we even have Friday on our work calendars?

This is going further. Mark my words.

Dewani, who was absent from both of his extradition hearings due to “medical ailments”, has reportedly lost over 12 kilograms since allegations of his contract killing of his wife, Anni Dewani, emerged in November 2010.

Family members, as well as the great deceiver family spokesperson and controversial publicist Max Clifford, have reported that Shrien has had trouble sleeping and eating and shaving and so on.

He was placed on suicide watch in January 2011.

At this point Max Clifford would very much appreciate it if your sympathies could shift to Shrien Dewani. Thank you.

[Source : The Sun]

Crane Jump from kitecentre Zanzibar on Vimeo.

Click here for more pics!

[Thanks, Anneke]

[Source : Kite Movement]

Still. It’s pretty rad to see it up there.

It’s out on Rhodes Ave, towards Kirstenbosch, and nobody answers when I call - but if anybody answers you, let us know how that worked out for you.

In this instance, it is one particularly special character from 40 Stella Road (corner of Dick Burton), Plumstead.

Our friend, who we’ll call John Thomas for now, is obviously the best kind of man – he who makes a home his castle.

Please enjoy this:

Click for larger image

The actual Google Street View can be found here, with our man now blurred into one large beige smudge. Nevertheless, you can see it here. Note: such are the vagaries of Google Street View, he may also reside at number 32 Stella Road.

Please, friends, more information.

Go go go!

[Source : MyCityByNight]

Look, any South African knows that if you spend more than a week in the Karoo, you start talking to yourself. Being French, they started off left of centre, but after 12 years in semi-desert isolation, they killed the first public servant person who came to visit, who just happened to be a cop. Now they are hiding in the koppies of the farm that they “know every bossie” of. This from IOL:

Between them they have a .22 hunting rifle, a 9mm pistol, a semi-automatic rifle, two revolvers (a 765 Magnum and a .38 Special) and a pump action shotgun.

Police have deployed more than 50 highly trained trackers to hunt down the couple, who are reportedly hiding and watching their every move. Not a job I’d be volunteering for, especially when one considers that they are bona fide, card-carrying members of a global cult.

The little club these two belong to is called Ramtha. It originated in the United States in 1977, having been founded by one Judy Zebra Knight (no kidding). And now, for a little bit of education. Cue extensive quoting from WikiPedia.

Ramtha (the name is claimed to be derived from Ram and to mean “the God” in Ramtha’s language) is an entity whom Knight claims to channel. According to Ramtha, he was a Lemurian warrior who fought the Atlanteans over 35,000 years ago.^[14]

The four cornerstones of Ramtha’s philosophy are:^[16]

1. The statement ‘You are god’
2. The directive to make known the unknown
3. The concept that consciousness and energy create the nature of reality
4. The challenge to conquer yourself

JZ Knight says that in 1977 Ramtha appeared before her and told her that he had come to help her over the ditch. JZ Knight became his first student of what he calls the great work.^[14]

Skeptics point to Ramtha’s story as proof that he does not exist. Ramtha claims to come from the continent of Lemuria and to have conquered Atlantis. The existence of the two locations are considered of legendary nature, and neither have been found. Furthermore, the claim that Ramtha led an army of 2.5 million contradicts estimates of the world population at 33,000 BC.

When Knight says she is channeling Ramtha, she/he speaks mostly in English, in what sounds like an accent from the Indian Raj,^[19][20] and sometimes in a simplistic way. Ramtha has expressed confusion about modern items (or even the ability to read English),^[21] although he seems to have clear understanding of complex issues of modern physics, such as the quantum field or neurology, which appear frequently in his speeches.^[22]

Ramtha’s teachings appear to be a mixture of Jungian philosophy, Western occult traditions and contemporary positive-thinking attitudes (such as New Age beliefs),^[18] but have yet to stand against elementary skepticism or scrutiny,^[19] and predictions made by the disembodied entity have either failed to come true (for example, predicting that a holocaust would take place in 1985, or that the USA would be involved in a major war in 1985) or the predicted scenarios are too wide to evaluate and/or have too large an error margin to be considered, which is usually the case with channelers.^[18]

…

JZ Knight has been involved in several court disputes, some personal and others business-related. Knight brought suit against a woman from Berlin named Judith Ravell for disturbing Knight’s psychic state and leaving her “hanging in spiritual limbo” during the five years Ravell claimed she was also channeling Ramtha,. The case was brought to the supreme court in Vienna and lasted over five years, at the end of which Austria’s supreme court awarded copyright to J.Z. Knight as the sole channelor of Ramtha, and Ravell was made to pay $800 in psychic damages to J.Z. Knight.^[11]

The cult believes that the world will end in 2012, and is in no way a means of garnering vast swathes of cash for its sole legal challenger, JZ Knight, who lives in a 12,800-square-foot French chateau-style home, and wears a face festooned with the folly of cosmetic surgeons.

According to the the owners of the farm on which the french couples presided, the du Plessis family, the couple got progressively weirder as the Karoo months turned into years. It must be said that the du Plessis’s are certainly not missing their fifteen minutes of fame, providing enough detail to sketch the outlines for a novel. No less than three family members provide beautiful quotes, such as “”They withdrew from society, but still fed off it”, “They both have dark eyes, which have become very intense over the past two years,” and my personal favourite, “It was as if he was constantly trying to read my thoughts.”

So there you have it kids. Don’t mix doses of Karoo and metaphysical cult.

[source: IOL, News24, Wiki]

Two shots were reportedly fired at the Mr Price in St Georges Mall at around 13h00.

News24 reports that the shots may have been in connection with a lovers’ quarrel. They may also have been in connection with post-holiday sales, which have been known to drive sensible people to murderous fits of rage.

UDATE:

A police reservist shot her boyfriend in the chest.

The boyfriend apparently tried to grab the weapon and the reservist drew the gun and fired. Three shots apparently went off.

One of the bullets hit the boyfriend in the chest and the other two went through one of the shop’s windows.

Fritz commended the reservist for her “swift action” saying that if she had not reacted as such “women and children could have been shot”.

Through the shop window the shot man could be seen bleeding and vomiting.

Police officers and security guards cordoned off the area surrounding the shop, urging curious onlookers to get back and refusing to give reporters any details of what happened.

Well, that escalated quickly.

After figuring out that it is entirely impractical to keep a R2 million vehicle as a fixed asset in your possesion as a struggling foreign immigrant in the face of high living costs and hostile law enforcement, the car guards did the only logical thing, and sold the vehicle to the Audi Centre in Cape Town for R1,25 Million.

Recent reports suggested that the guards sold the car, which resulted in Terrence Aupiais, Taylor’s business colleague laying fraud charges.

Aupiais challenged the validity of the sale on the grounds that the car belonged to the Angels Way Trust, of which he is the sole trustee. He claims in court papers that Taylor bought the car on behalf of the trust.

Aupiais alleged that the vehicle was given to the men to raise funds for the underprivileged, and not to be resold.

Angels Way is the sky-diving business that Taylor owned and ran in Howick, KZN.

The IOL story suggests that the car guards have since pocketed the loot and “fled to the Congo”. Naughty, IOL, very naughty. You don’t suppose that the congolese gentlemen were in South Africa in the first place in a bid to improve their economic prospects, having exited a failed state? And you also don’t suppose that said men still love their country very much, and often fantasised about returning home with the means to ensure a happy life for themselves and their families, despite the lack of basic state architecture?

That’s all that these men have done. Yes, it may have been disingenuous of them to suggest that they would use the vehicle for raising funds for charity, as was previously reported, but was that necessarily a a condition stipulated by Taylor prior to the handing over of the vehicle?

Perhaps, but we won’t be able to prove that conclusively now, will we?

Let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room; why has Aupiais raised this objection only after the death of Taylor?

Ah ha, so it was too good to be true, neh?

[Source : IOL]

CATCH UP on all things Rob Taylor here, here and here.

A human skull was discovered at the Milnerton lighthouse in Cape Town by city law enforcement officers on Friday, a spokesperson for the city said.”City law enforcement officers were shocked earlier today when they discovered a human skull at the Milnerton lighthouse, while conducting routine patrols along the coast,” spokesperson for the city Wilfred Solomons-Johannes said.

The officers spotted the skull at around 12:45 and identified it as human.

“According to the officers, the skull was lying on the surface of the sand and was slightly submerged.”

The Weekend:

More than 100 residents of the Pholile Park informal settlement near Strand had to be admitted to hospital with food poisoning at the weekend after they had consumed expired food dumped there.

Pholile Park community leader Siphe Kaka said: “On Thursday morning, a white truck came into the area and just dumped the food. There were jams, biscuits, sweets etc. People rushed to get to the food and it was later that day when many got ill – especially children. On Friday and Saturday, more became ill and today another 40 people got sick.”

He said ambulances came and went all weekend as residents fell ill, vomited and had skin rashes due to food poisoning.

Monday:

Police are investigating the circumstances surrounding the death of a man on Table Mountain in Cape Town on Sunday night.

Rescue workers retrieved the man’s body.

Table Mountain National Park spokesperson Merle Collins said, “SANParks staff and Metro Rescue were involved. It was quite a huge operation because of where the body fell. All we can say is that it is a white male. We do not now what happened at this stage.”

Weird…Give us a heads up if you start finding circles of burnt out candles with sacrificed chickens lying in the middle…

Source : News24/IOL/EWN]

The story has gone national, with stories on page three of today’s Die Burger, and on News24.com, following the posting of pictures of Liebenberg and van der Walt’s exploits on 2oceansvibe.

Cliff had the following to say, linking to the original 2oceansvibe post on the matter:

He also retweeted this post:

Martinengo, meanwhile was almost as brutal.

But Cliff’s comments, and the ones that he retweeted weren’t met with complete consensus. Prominent Cape Town blogger, Cape Town Girl, was one of many who expressed views contradictory to Cliff’s.

Follow Gareth on Twitter here, and Sasha on Twitter, here.

CLICK HERE for the photos broken by 2oceansvibe.

CLICK HERE for the original 2oceansvibe story, regarding the Cafe Caprice incident.

CLICK HERE for their official statement.

CLICK HERE for a previous story about van der Walt’s brawl at the Plett polo.

CLICK HERE for a previous story about van der Walt being accused of cruelty to animals.

It’s that moment of television watching when, just as the sofa threatens to ingest your lumpy physique, your whole body surges forward violently, stiffening in a crack to a bolt upright position, sending girlfriends (plural), beverages, snacks, small dogs and dignity flying in all directions.

“Holy hell!’, your minds reals at you.

And then out loud, “That guy looks just like [insert appropriate look-alike here]!”

At this point, every sentient being in the room goes, “What?”

And then you go, “Hey?!” You’re totally incredulous that they’re not with you right off the bat.

Then you spend the next three minutes pointing out every obvious similarity between the protagonist on the screen and the doppelganger you’ve matched them with.

I went through that process this past weekend. Cable Guy was on the screen, and strangely enough, right after the bathroom beating scene where Owen Wilson gets his ass handed to him, it hit me. Kevin Pietersen looks JUST like the effing cable guy. Not Jim Carrey, the Cable Guy, specifically.

Hey?

[Pause for effect}

Hey?

No come now, don’t talk crap. Just look at this.

And this:

And this:

And this:

Does anyone see what I mean?

It’s more than just the look. It’s the vibe. This scene clinched it for me.

This is exactly how Kevin Pietersen is spending his Christmas.

“I forgive you!” I love that.

You should also know that Ben Stiller actually directed the Cable Guy.

There’s a definite pattern emerging here. We’ve seen Stiller informing some of Pietersen’s vibe before.

It’s a pleasure.

The exchange took place a few days after the murder of Anni Dewani, when Shrien was at the hotel, being comforted by relatives.

A police source in Cape Town, where the honeymooning couple’s taxi was ambushed in a crime-ridden township last month, said: “Tongo’s claim he was given money by Dewani after Anni’s death is backed up in full colour on video. CCTV footage shows them meeting in a restaurant area of a hotel and Shrien Dewani hands money to the driver.

“This was days after Anni’s body was found, at a time when Dewani was staying in the Cape Grace Hotel and being comforted by relatives.

“Police believe they have enough evidence to prosecute Dewani and that there is a clear case to answer.”

Small surprise that the South African authorities are moving to have Dewani extradited on the basis of this new material.

Of course the likes of Max Clifford game out of the gates, frothing at the gob, and explaining that generous Shrien may have simply been paying Zola ongo the driver’s fare that was still owed to him after that fateful evening.

Although that doesn’t explain why Tongo would have slipped the money into his coat, and then moved to the bathroom to count it, as per the video footage.

Shrien, you’re basically screwed. You’re either one of the most perfectly framed men to have cropped up in a while, or you’re guilty as sin. And cheap. R1 000? Come now.

[Source: Sowetan]

Click  here to download the full document

Look, we all knew there was something potentially complicated and untoward about this whole debacle the moment the official version of events came to light.

Who takes a detour through Gugs on their way back the the Cape Grace Hotel from Somerset West? And why was the vehicle abandoned by the alleged hijackers after all of the nearby threats (aka males) were ejected from the vehicle, and Anni Dewani had been shot?

Nevertheless, we’ve been over this. You’ve all been over this already, at your office, at your dining room table.

There are a few sharp observations going around Twitter if you care to have a gander.

But I think I’ll leave the last word to Daily Maverick columnist, and all round stand-up human being, Sipho Hlongwane.

[Source : TimesLive]

A 27 year old U.S. citizen, living in Cape Town, has posted an ad on Gumtree looking to trade. He explains that he quit his job because “working sucks”. He’s a “real rebel” and a “free spirit”, which of course is douche-code for “unemployed layabout” and “I still live with my mom”.

As an added bonus, if you’re hot you’ll have the option of “occasional bedroom shenanigans”. Huzzah!

What you get out of the trade:

A#1: A brand new USA green card.
2: THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, One of those ex New Yorkers an american apparel stock boy that quit to do web design because it was more lucrative but then quit that because working sucks, a real rebel, and free spirit, like, you’ll be living the american dream just being legally bound to me.
4: The option for occasional bedroom shenanigans, as long as you’re hot.

What I get:
A#1: South African Citizenship
2: R10,000 or a Kawasaki Ninja (negotiable on hotness factor)

In the inevitable event that the overlords at Gumtree remove this entry, see the screenshot here.

Read more...

Lester Kiewit

Reports to follow:

News24

News24

EWN

[Image: Gallo]

[Source : BoingBoing]

Thinus Ferreira reports that Abrahams “has a complete emotional breakdown when Niyaaz Arendse (14) from Cape Town performs.”

Apparently Randall Abrahams’ most recent software release makes provision for complex and subtle expression. Empathy is expected to be released as an optional update later in the year.

Scores of dead pigeons lay strewn across the Table Bay Boulevard in Cape Town on the weekend, metres from the Cape Town International Convention Centre.

A report has indicated that while the birds were initially thought to have suffered from a mass bout of the deadly avine Newcastle’s Respiratory Disease (no relation to the mining black lung of Newcastle, KZN), the SPCA has since concluded that the birds were poisoned.

Poisoned, you say.

We say, slain in the spirit. Of evil.

It just so happens that the pigeons died on the same day that Justin Bieber was reported to be roaming the Mother City on a little R&R.

Coincidinky?

Nature never lies, ladies and gentlemen. Just remember, these sorts of things always begin with the pigeons. Next thing it’ll be our teenage girls.

Twitter is abuzz with realtime reports of clashes between police and residents of Hangberg, in Hout Bay.

News24′s Dan Calders is on the ground, posting an up to the minute photo essay on Twitter.

Eye witnesses have reported plumes of smoke rising from the area, and police firing rubber bullets at residents, who are firing flares in retaliation.

News24 reports that one of its journalists on the scene was struck by a rubber bullet.

Duncan Alfreds was on the phone to the News24 newsroom when he suddenly exclaimed “oh shit, I’ve been shot”.

The latest photo and video footage suggests that the police have begun moving into the area on foot to quell the unrest.

Pictures after the jump.

Police move in to Hangberg

Residents burn tyres and refuse

Police fire rubber bullets at residents

You know at school when you were playing cricket, or tennis, or badminton, or javelin, or whatever, and the coach lent in for a little advice?

“Go hard.”

That’s what every self-respecting coach tells his charges when the moment demands it. Even if you fail, at least you’ve failed hard.

And Marine Taxis have gone hard. Specifically, Ms Ursula Brown, PR Manager of Marine Taxis, has gone very hard.

It all started when fellow Capetonian, Shaun Oakes, blogged his experience of a ride in a Marine Taxis cab over two years ago.

You can read it here.

Two years down the line, and Marine Taxis is not, repeat, not, very happy about the fairly innocuous blog post. In fact, they’re so unhappy that they sent this unsolicited, and entirely cryptic email to Oakes via his website contact form.

Contact Shaun Oakes
Your Name: Ursula Brown
Email: ****@marinetaxis.co.za
Website: www.marinetaxis.co.za
Message: Mr Oakes.. Note yr request about what not to do when corresponding with yrself. But I must say that this is a serious case of the pot calling the kettle black as u seem to have done this yourself with yr unsubstantiated uncommented “story” on your site which even our “hijacked” logo. Please remove this story asap…… pronto……..

What happens after that is a crapstorm of missed points and poor decisions. Introducing Ms Ursula Brown, whose self-named public relations qualifications include:

• “Being an ex-teacher”
• “ran an Internet Cafe in Sea Point for five years”
• “has a Southern African web portal (GPR 5)”
• “been in marketing, advertising and PR since 1972″
• “am accredited media world-wide”
• “attending 19th Indaba in a row”

But let’s not forget any professionals greatest qualification, their network:

• “two ex husbands and three sons all in IT”
• “I have gazillions of qualified tutors in my family and/or via years of contacts who are a mere phone call away.”

Contacted for comment, Ms Brown explained that she had been in her PR position at Marine Taxis for less than two months, and that her brief was to find and eliminate all unauthorised media related to Marine Taxis. She alleged that the entire fracas was born of the fact that Oakes claimed that the original post was bona fide advertising.

There are almost too many highlights to mention, so we suggest you read the whole David Thorn-esque exchange over at Oake’s blog, but before you go, we’ve got a few tidbits to recommend:

1. Oakes to Brown: This one, from 2008? [link removed]. Where I advertised your services? Why would I take this down?
2. Brown to Oakes: Firstly, if, you were indeed, “Advertising your services”, I request a signed off approval from ourselves. And then, regardless of whether or not you are holding a signed proof, we request that you remove “story/advert/whatever you may call it” with immediate effect.
3. Oakes to Brown: “I don’t think you quite understand how blogs and the internet works, so let me educate you: Demanding that I get ’signed-off approval’ before mentioning your brand is ridiculous. Are you familiar with Facebook? Or Twitter?”
4. Brown to Oakes: “And as far as your “let me educate you” skills are concerned… well, they suck…Regarding thinly veiled pseudo threat, please, be my guest, twitter away or go on to Facebook or wherever else you wish, have fun and do your worst…”

Well, Shaun accepted the invitation, and he’s gone hard, done his worst best.

Catch the whole sordid affair over here.

The Big Issue vendor who suffered unwarranted humiliation at the hands of has shown us once again why this country is ultimately worth believing in.

Despite initial reports that Florence Godonwana, 36, would lay charges of crimen injuria against the men who threw water on her, she has asked instead for a simple apology.

It appears that the driver of the bakkie came forward to reveal his identity after sustained pressure exerted by a press and social media campaign to out the culprits.

This, from the Big Issue’s website.

The Big Issue vendor, Florence Godonwana, has decided not to press charges of crimen injuria against the group of young men who allegedly doused her with water on September 11th. Instead, Godonwana would like to give the youths the opportunity to follow their conscience, step forward and apologise for the humiliating incident.

“I would like them to come personally to me and apologise, each one of them, and they must realise why they should never do anything like this to anyone else. Everyone has the right to dignity, and everyone has the right to work to try put food on the table so our children will not go to bed hungry. They must respect that,” said Godonwana.

“I also want them to come walk a day in my shoes. They must come sell The Big Issue and see that it’s not a game. We’re not playing; it’s a hard job.”

Florence, you fully understand The Vibe. We salute you.

You can support Florence and other vendors like her by purchasing a R14 copy of the latest Big Issue mag.

On Saturday afternoon, at around 15h30, a group of young men in a white bakkie (that’s a “pick-up” or a “ute” for our foreign readers) called a Big Issue vendor over to their stationary vehicle at a traffic light in central Cape Town.

They then allegedly poured acid water all over her, and her wares.

This, from the Big Issue website.

The Big Issue was notified that at approximately 17h30 yesterday (Saturday 11 September 2010) a group of men driving a white bakkie CA568 413 allegedly called over one of our vendors on the corner of Hans Strydom and Eastern Boulevard, Cape Town CBD and threw water over her. There are witnesses to the incident and a photo of the men in the bakkie was taken.

The vendor was subsequently identified as Florence Godonwana, a single mother of three, who has decided to lay charges of crimen injuria against the alleged perpetrators. The Big Issue’s Social Development department will be assisting her to do this and supporting her throughout. The people who witnessed the incident have also indicated they will offer her their full support in terms of acting as witnesses and, if necessary, testifying in court.

This isn’t the first time that an incident like this has happened. Big Issue vendors suffer a dazzlingly creative array of abuses on a daily basis. Unfortunately for these gallant chaps, the Cape Argus News Editor Natasha Joseph happened to be in the vehicle behind them.

She snapped a photo on her camera phone, and tweeted both the shot and details of the incident on her Twitter feed.

And then all hell broke loose. These guys are the most hunted individuals in the city of Cape Town. ETV news is on this, the papers are on this, Cape Town tweeps are on this. Blogs are going nuts.

Gentleman of CA 568 413, the Internet will find you. You should never have messed with Florence.

About three hours ago a Kalk Bay fishermen walked into the e.tv Studios foyer off Kloof Street, and demanded to see the News Editor of e.tv.

Surprisingly, the arb fisherman was denied access to the ed by security.

And then…And then he lost his temper.

By threatening to blow up the building.

MAN! That escalated quickly!

Here’s what happened next:

1. The guy was cuffed by the police.
2. A sweep of the building was made.
3. Nothing was found.

What’s this guy’s agenda? Is he demanding yet more coverage of ilegal perlemoen hauls? Did someone hurt his mermaid girlfriend? Did he miss the turn to Vida?

Or is he Mel Gibson?

[Source : News24]

Quite an interesting take and a must read for all! Personally I was taken by the quote, “Cape Town Is the Future.” It took me back to a few years ago when I attended the Commonwealth Games in Melbourne, Australia. The crowd in the stadium (The MCG, if I’m not mistaken) were made to practice a song before they switched live over to TV. the end of the chorus went, “Melbourne, the city of the future, the envy of the world.”

Confident, as all good Ozzies are! But now, suddenly, we have an Aussie handing over that mantle to us!

But it wasn’t all complimentary, as you will see..

Camps Bay Beach – Cape Town
(source)

Cape Town slums — a long way from Mandela’s ideals
by Guy Rundle

People advise those who are embarking on a South African trip not to visit Cape Town first, and they’re right. Once you’re here, you have no desire to leave and the rest of the country is bound to be, well, another country.

Running from the sparkling beaches of the Atlantic coast to the foot of Table Mountain barely 2km inland, a city of grand architecture in a mish-mash of Dutch and Victorian style, and funky suburbs of multicoloured terraces and colonnaded verandahs, ‘the Mother City’ is an impossibly hip destination. Uniquely for South Africa, its population is neither predominantly black nor white, but mixed race or Coloured, in the still extant language of racial classification a product of its existence as a trading/slave/strategic port for centuries before the Union of South Africa drew it in in 1910.

When the Afrikaner government established apartheid in 1948, out of the intersecting mix of pass laws and racial restrictions already in place, the Cape was a double problem, since fully half the population were exactly the sort of black-Asian-white mix that the ideology of apartheid had such a horror of. Yet it also made the imposition of full apartheid impossible, since the total exclusion of such people would have brought the city to a grinding halt.

CLICK HERE FOR THE REST

[thanks dad]

The smaller half of Die Antwoord’s vocal duo, Yolandi Vi$$er, has just klapped Hollywood in the hol, ek se.

She was approached by some corporate naaiers who tjooned her to play the main betty in a movie-film version of Stieg Larsson’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

Moreover, my pedigree chums, the film is to be directed by David Fincher, the oke who churned out the masterpieces Fight Club and Seven.

Yolandi, who can often be seen pootling around Oranjezicht in her running shoes, said…

1) She’s not interested

2) Die Antwoord is her life, and

3) She didn’t know about the book.

…

… … …

…

Yu, yu, yuuuuuu!

[Source : News24]

1 X angel

After gathering up some of the country’s finest female specimens to represent the various soccer super teams visiting our country, a model shoot was staged at Café Caprice, choreographed by Brandnew Marketing in order to create a sexy 2010/11 desktop calendar.

The shoot was held in the upstairs section of the venue, in conjunction with a party throughout the rest of the café, which drew a crowd of epic proportion.

I popped in and noticed one of the angels was misbehaving. She agreed that a hiding was in order.

I know it looks like I’m overdoing it, but she was being naughty. Not that she seemed to mind..

Cafe Caprice desktop calendar which will be available for download from www.cafecaprice.co.za from 1 July, with a limited number printed for VIP’s.

x

Remember the “alleged” tale of the Grand Daddy Valet who stole a customer vehicle and rolled it 70 kilometres away in Blue Downs?

The Grand Daddy Hotel left a comment on that story. Let’s enjoy it with our morning coffee:

A response to this post from the Grand Daddy:

It is regrettably true that this incident took place. One of our (now ex)staff illegally (and silently) took a guest’s car home to get a change of clothes. The car in question was a Mini Cooper but it is not the one pictured in the blog post – the damages in that picture are a somewhat exaggerated version of the real damage. The staff member has been arrested and criminally charged and the Grand Daddy’s insurers are currently dealing with the situation in order to settle with the car owner.

Okay so, this happened, and Grand Daddy admit the illegality of their staff’s (and therefore their own) actions. Also, the police happen to agree that the valet committed a crime. So this thing is pretty clear cut. Grand Daddy will sort the owner of the car out, right?

Sadly, not all hotels have service at the heart of their business model.

On Friday I got a somewhat troubling email from Rosanne Turner, the owner of the jacked Mini Cooper S, some of which is posted here.

Rosanne picks up with the tragic narrative the day after her car was wrecked by a Grand Daddy employee. As Black Beard would say, “Woe betide thee not to listen, for tharrr be lessons!”

Sergio [Dreyer - Grand Daddy Manager] gave us a letter stating that the hotel would take full responsibility, and that he would ensure that we would not be out of pocket or inconvenienced in any way by this incident.

We now had no transport. I am a travel writer, and had to be in Simonstown on an assignment at 8:30 the next morning. The hotel arranged for a taxi to take me there.

The next morning, we found out that the car had been towed back to the hotel. My husband met with the police to file a report, while I was on my assignment.
Again, another manager Francois van Binsbergen assured me that the matter would be dealt with swiftly. The hotel arranged a hire car for us to get back to Hermanus, and use for a limited time until our car was sorted out.

The next week, I got a call from Jody Aufrigtig, the owner of the hotel. He said that he was shocked by the incident, and guaranteed me that all would be dealt with swiftly, and I was not to worry.

A story on the incident was published on page 10 of the Argus on 20 April 2010, and also on the IOL website. See link here.

In the report, the management confirms the incident happened, as does the police detective. I am not sure how the Argus got to hear of the incident, as it was not from me.
So far so good. At this stage, although very upset by the incident, I am not worried, as I have been guaranteed on several occasion both in writing and verbally that all will be sorted out.

Then things start to take a turn. Ten days later, the hotel’s insurance assessor has still not been to view the car. I follow up (but never harass) approximately every 3 days, either by phone or email, and so does my attorney.
Suddenly the hotel would not return my calls or emails. Manager Sergio Dreyer informed me that the attorney representing their insurance had instructed them not to talk to me.
6 weeks later, I made a call to claim via my insurance, as I was without a vehicle, as the hotel recalled the hire car, and I still did not know what was happening with my car. What I did know, was that the quote to repair it amounts to just below R100 000.

My insurance eventually paid out (less my excess of R9500). The car was a write off.

Some facts:

Yes, we did sign a disclaimer for the valet parking. But, this refers only to the car being parked, so a reasonable radius would be within 2km – should the hotel have off site parking. It does NOT cover the fact that the vehicle was taken, without my consent, by a staff member of the hotel, who had access to my keys, and being driven a vast distance away – for his own personal reasons. The fact that I received a letter from the hotel stating that they take full responsibility, overrides this disclaimer anyway. The hotel owner may argue the fact that the manager did not have the authority to give me such a letter. However, I was led to believe that he did have such authority, as Sergio told me he did.

The fact that the hotel’s insurance doesn’t want to cover them for the incident is irrelevant to me. This is not simply a motor accident claim, but rather a negligence claim against the hotel. Their answer constantly is that they are waiting instruction from their insurance. (we were informed by their insurance that they would not be paying out which is why we eventually claimed from our insurance).
I also have my lawyers fees to cover, as well as being out of pocket by the excess on my insurance.

So the hotel’s original promise of not being inconvenienced or out of pocket in any way, is not being met.

Peachy, eh? And one other thing. Rosanne is a travel writer, and when the Grand Daddy’s attorneys heard about this they apparently threatened a defamation suit against her if any of these details saw the light of day.

Well here’s an education for Grand Daddy’s lawyers:Defamation of Character can only be pursued when untruths are published. So far the Grand Daddy hotel has admitted on a number of ocassions to the events as told above. Hmmm. Tough one to claim then, you’d think.

Well there you have it.

I contacted the Grand Daddy for comment before posting this, and Sergio Dreyer called back and told me that the Grand Daddy was still awaiting official comment from its insurers. As soon as I get comment, I’ll be more than happy to update this post. Evem better, please feel free to leave your response as a comment below this article (as you did before).

You know, Grand Daddy Hotel, I’d like to tell you what I think of you, but you’d probably sue me. What I can say is this: if this is all true then I suggest you take responsibility for your screw ups. You’ll probably find that people forget mistakes that are humbly acknowledged more readily than pouty-faced blame shifting. Although I’m not actually saying the Grand Daddy itself is pouty-faced, per se. I mean, a building can’t pout. But you get what I’m saying.

Also maybe call off the dogs, okay Jody? And then perhaps see to Rosanne. Just forget all the legal jargon for a second. Do what you planned on doing before the share holders and per hour attorneys started whispering in your ear – the RIGHT thing

But nevermind all of that. Rosanne is a tough woman, and she’ll keep on living without her wrecked Mini Cooper S, probably for anything between another 50 to 70 years. I’ll just be sure to always take my money bags some place else, and probably wouldn’t recommend a stay at the Grand Daddy to anyone I care about.

It’s a nice place, sure, but don’t get unlucky, or it seems you might get double-screwed.

It’s a grand thing to have choice in this town.

UPDATE: For those of you don’t feel like reading the comments section, this is The Grand Daddy Hotel Management response:

We are surprised at the version given by Mrs Turner and are disappointed that she now appears to be involving the media in an endeavour to defame us and to harm our reputation. Her article and the version she has given is not correct in various respects and fails to mention important details such as all we have done to resolve the matter amicably. Good faith endeavours were made from our side at the outset to resolve this matter amicably and these good faith endeavours are continuing. As Mrs Turner has been compensated by her insurance company already, this matter must be resolved involving her insurance company, who is required to claim from the Grand Daddy’s insurance company. This is an insurance procedure hence the Grand Daddy’s staff needing to refer the matter to insurers and lawyers. Mrs Turners attack on our reputation in the media is unnecessary, belligerent and without merit.

Mario’s, a popular Italian restaurant on Main Road in Green Point is on fire, and not in the positive, figurative kind of way.

This from News24:

“A customer told me that smoke is pouring out of the kitchen, which sounds like it’s bad news,” said Nicholas Esposito of the nearby Giovanni’s Deli World.

Cape Town’s chief fire officer, Ian Schnetler, told News24 that four vehicles are on the scene.

“There was a fire in the kitchen, but the fire is now under control.”

So there you have it. Italian kitchens are pretty scorching. Italian football, not really.

Last night I did a small jump of glee when Paraguay scored first.

“Holy crap!”, I thought. “Italy has to actually score more than one goal to win this game!” I sat back, and waited for the exciting, attacking flair.

Was I naive? Maybe.

[Source : News24]

The virtual tour itself let’s you cruise around the Cape Royale hotel (spinning 360 degrees up AND down in every room), with “hotspots” which allow you access to the next room – ultimately leading you up to my private penthouse..

The Cape Royale lobby – after you click to open the front door

Above is a screenshot from the actual page you can go to for your own mind-blowing virtual tour. You will notice not only the purple icon in the top left portion of the picture (allowing you to “jump” to the next inter-leading room) but also action icons beneath the main image, letting you move around the current room; up, down, left, right- zooming in and out.

Zooming in and out comes in quite handy – especially when you make your way from the lobby, into the elevator and through to my suite. Once you get there, I’d advise you to pop into the bedroom, as I have a bit of a surprise for you..

And don’t even get me started on the bathroom.

No, I’m serious – there is a bubble bath shot.. Let alone the lingerie shot taken in the kitchen..

There are also incredible vistas of the mother city, taken from the Sky Bar and pool deck, as well as from my balcony, showing never-seen-before footage of the World Cup Stadium in all her glory, at night.

The genius who made this for me also managed to add hotspots to all the various 2oceansvibe brands which are always found dotted around my life. This allows you to follow-up on those brands, should you wish, simply by clicking the green icons dotted around the virtual tour.

So do yourself a favour and check out this INCREDIBLE virtual tour of the penthouse at my primary residence – The Cape Royale Hotel.

CLICK HERE FOR VIRTUAL TOUR

Most of us frenzied Capetonian vibers will already know this, but those of you from outta-town will most definitely appreciate this vibe.

You know the London Eye? Well…

This isn’t the London Eye. It’s a frikkin French-designed, luxury Ferris wheel plopped in the middle of South Africa’s premier tourist attraction – the V&A Waterfront.

Appropriately-named “The Wheel of Excellence”, this superb contraption boasts a 50-odd meter diameter and “36 luxury capsules”.

Now that’s the vibe we’re looking for. Not only does the view from the Wheel of Excellence trounce the view from the London Eye, but it does it with luxury. Can I get an “Amen”?

This one above was the V&A’s last Ferris Wheel effort over le festive season, and I can tell you that they have gone from strength to strength.

Which reminds me, TWOF also lights up at night with two million LED lights. Sheesh, that must look crap.

A trip on this little puppy lasts 15 to 20 minutes, and will set you back a mere 80 Rond. Totally worth it.

If you get swamped in the ensuing stampede, you can wait until after the World Cup to take a ride – because it’s sticking around.

Don’t you love it? I love it.

Check out Clifton:

Clifton, Cape Town – circa 1900

Pretty sick, hey?

There are literally HUNDREDS more!

Follow link to get the PDF.

CLICK HERE FOR PDF DOWNLOAD PAGE.

[thanks clinton]

Take this ad, for example:

Hello,

So firstly; this room is only available for a female. Sorry guys; it’s already two of us and an extra dude is asking for too much…

Hmmm, about the place… Huge apartment found on Barrack Street, in the heart of the CBD, with wooden floors and high ceilings. Lovely open living room with big windows, modern fully equipped kitchen. Front door leads right out onto the street.

About the room: So it’s pretty small, and it is lacking some privacy- as seen in the picture, the one side of the room is open. That side is where the stairs leading to and from the front door are found, so don’t worry, no one can sneak in while climbing the stairs. Plus, just hang a curtain/sheet and it should be kind of all good. BUT the size and lack of privacy is the reason for such a low low price. In fact, the R2000 rent a month includes all utilities, as well as premium DSTV (No internet. Also, 1 month security deposit will be required.) It comes with a bed (the bedspring box isn’t in the picture) as well as a bedside table. Closet space; hmmm… might have to make a plan.

Sidenotes: It is currently my roommate and myself living here. He is a 21 year old film student and I am a 25 year old working professional. We’re both laid back, tidy, social, outgoing. Technically it is a non-smoking apartment. However, we already smoke near the windows, but we still don’t want to over do it. Hence, we are looking for someone who doesn’t ‘really’ smoke cigarettes (as long as you’re not a chain smoker, in which case you could always just step outside), but is cool with other’s that do. Also, we tend to smoke some of the green, so if you’re not cool with this, well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be…

But wait, there is more (it gets even more awesome as he continues to smoke his very obvious joint)..

As for parking; there is a indoor parking complex right across the street (I rate +-R650 a month for covered parking) However, there is also street parking right outside the front door. Literally; I park my car and jump through the frontdoor. This parking is free from 4pm to 8am in the week, and from 1pm onwards on Saturday. It’s free on Sunday. So ideally if you are a working person with a car, it is completely possible to park outside for free if you leave by 8am in the morning. Each Saturday I pay R40 for parking, but that’s it.

Safety: The apartment is right across (like facing) a huge SAPD Dectective Unit so safety hasn’t (knock on wood) ever been an issue.

Lastly, I have a dog/puppy. He’s pretty chilled and well behaved, but just thought it should be noted. You can try spot him in one or two of the pictures.

And yeah, that’s the situation. The apartment will be available to take a look come this weekend so hit me up if you want to check it out.

Thanks and much peace.

[see ad here..]

God, what an absolute treat!

Obviously the mention of the joint resulted in him pausing to roll a quick one. Then he continued drafting the ad, zol in hand.

By the end, he clearly had some Bob Marley playing, before signing off “much peace.”

Pure quality!

I have no-doubt he climbed into some online blackjack after that!

[thanks nikki]

Cape Town Tourism has launched a Facebook Fan Page for those who love Cape Town to stay up to date with all the news, what’s on and places to see in Cape Town, click here to become a fan and write on the wall, post a photo or just see what the other 60,000 fans have to say about Cape Town!

Why?

Because Cape Town is awesome – that’s why..

Not that we should turn this into something sinister! It’s just completely amazing technology they are using here. Usually when you zoom into a pic, the closer you zoom, the more blurred it gets. Not this time! This one just gets clearer and clearer.

Allowing you to zoom in from this:

TO THIS! :

Howz our boy’s face, staring at that angel’s toned backside?

Hilarious! There are SO many spicy things you can find, as you scope the crowd. And you can zoom in even further than that!

Maybe YOU can have a look around and your own little moments. People picking their nose. People kissing. People pervng. People stealing. So many possibilities..

Leave a comment at the end of the article and let us know what it is and where to look!

Wanna see how and where to do it?

CLICK HERE to load up the latest Virtual Africa super-duper hi-res interactive pano vibe! Well done, guys – you’ve done well!

Ever been the victim of camera theft? Ever thought a retrieved photo of your sun burnt gluteus maximus might pave the way for you recovering your camera?

Well, you can think it now.

We got this email from a truly good Samaritan named Andrew.

Dear 2oceansvibe,

Last week I realised I had lost my camera’s battery charger, and after pricing a replacement charger at R800, I decided to buy a replacement camera (and charger) on gumtree for R1000. The “deal” happened at my work reception, and a work colleague ragged me hard about buying a “stolen camera”. The whole office got involved and we decided to retrieve the deleted photos from the memory card at our local photo store.The suspense built as we waited, and when the photos came back…The people in the photos looked nothing like the foreign student who had sold the camera to me. He didn’t feature at all! There was however a photo taken in a bathroom mirror of a few friends comparing their bikini/baggies sun burn lines after a day on the beach.

Being racked with self righteous guilt I really feel that if we could find the authentic owner of these tan lines, and therefore the camera, all could be happily restored to their owner and my guilt avoided. I propose that we ask for submissions of the same photo(as proof)! If we can’t find the right girls then just give it to the best photo.

What do you think?

We think you’re a genius, Andrew.

Is THIS your photo…?

Whoah! Spicy… No worries there, chaps. Tan lines happen to the best of us.

So that’s what we’ll do, ladies and gentlemen. If this is your photo, and you can prove it comprehensively (i.e. with visuals – nothing in red lace, please), then you’ll get your camera back.

If it’s not your camera, go wild. We want your best impression of what other kinds of photos were found on that memory card. If, after our exhaustive search, we can’t find the owners, the camera goes to the best creative submission.

Send your submissions to editor@2oceansvibe.com with a short explanation if it needs it.

And yes, we’re gonna get the alleged foreign student!

[thanks andrew]

If you’ve been toying with the idea of defaulting on your home loan or joining a Russian acrobat troupe for a while now, go for it. Last week, students on UCT’s upper campus were the victims of random and ferocious pamphlet bombings by people wearing “May 21, 2011” T-shirts.

Naturally lured in by the promise of a party or free stuff, the students stood no chance.

“May 21^st 2011 – JUDGMENT DAY”, screamed the small pieces of paper. The reactions were mixed. Some (from the commerce faculty) believed that they had been granted an extension on their research assignments until the following year.

The campus was humming at maximum capacity yesterday as hordes of BA students, comprehending that the apocalypse was imminent, decided they needed to experience new things and began attending lectures.

The flyers were handed out by a group called Family Radio – the flagship company of doomsday prophet and media tycoon, Harold Camping.

I suppose if there’s a doomsday message to put out, you might as well have a media empire amassing millions of dollars every year to do it.

But the real question is: How will 88 year old Harold spend it all before next year?

Well we’ve got a few ideas.

He could buy this yacht.

Or maybe this place, we hear the skiing is quite nice.

C’mon, Harold. Do it for us, before it’s too late.

You know the party is going to be big when the venue was chosen specifically for its size – so as to accommodate the sheer number of people!

What am I talking, you ask? Oh nothing, just “THE VIBE” – a party in Camps Bay brought to you by 2oceansvibe and Marina’s Little Black Book. Everybody will be there, trust me. All the rock stars. All the schlebs. All the jocks. All the schmodels. All the geeks. All the TV stars. All the film stars. All the party people.

The whole vibe and nothing but the vibe, so help me God!

And that includes South Africa’s HOTTEST party DJ’s on the scene at the moment – THE WEDDING DJ’s will be taking this party into the stratosphere!

CLICK HERE TO SECURE YOUR TICKET
Get there soon – tickets are limited!

For those of you who have never heard of the Wedding DJ’s (pffft!) do yourself a favour and ask your friends about them. You have NEVER had more fun than at a party with these guys playing. Seriously, just ask someone. Do it – they’ll back me up 100% And it’s not weird doof-doof trance/whatever music – it’s the stuff you LOVE. Get-up-and-party music!

It’s gonna be off the chain! Be there and I promise you will never forget it.

CLICK HERE FOR FACEBOOK PAGE

CLICK HERE TO SECURE YOUR TICKET

Get there soon – tickets are limited!

x

The front page packs a punch and is written, sarcastically, in the first person. Kicking off with a friendly “Hi There!” under what is understood to be a picture of this person, Stephanie Kohler.

Please note image has been distorted for use on 2oceansvibe
CLICK HERE to see website and full clear picture

The website goes on to detail previous dealings with the website’s subject, Stephanie Kohler, mentioning a number of incidents where clients were misled and allegedly had their money stolen. Apparently the clients (presumably the creators of the website) paid her (Stephanie Kohler) for a trip, but she neglected to pay the money to the hotel they were going to be staying at. This resulted in the clients arriving at their destination with no-one having heard of them.

Research into the website’s WHOIS information reveals the owner (supposed creator of the website) is a gentleman by the name of Saul Kropman.

The website first rose to prominence on Tuesday the 5th of Jan when the web address was tweeted by SA Twitter user @saulkza (that must be Saul).

This was the tweet:

With over 1,000 “followers” on his Twitter account, it wasn’t long before the tweet was “re-tweeted” over and over again, eventually going viral.

Further research into Saul’s other online concerns included the discovery of his blog The Outlet, as well as the massively popular weekly online podcast, The Digital Edge. It is not known if Saul will be using the power of his podcast to further broadcast his reservations about the woman in question.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out, I think you would agree. So head on through to www.stephaniekohler.co.za and decide for yourself. You’ll notice the website goes even further and displays her phone numbers and email addresses, as well as scanned images of all of her company documents, with ID number etc. Combined with accusations including the “issuing of fake airline tickets,” it really is something to behold.

We tried to contact the subject of the attack for comment and she has not returned our emails.

Perhaps you’ve had any similar experiences that you would like to discuss?

They say that there are two sides to every story, so you should feel free to use the comments section below to express yourself. With the World Cup coming to SA in only a few months, any allegations of travel fraud and the like are a concern to all South Africans and should be urgently and fairly discussed, in an open online forum.

God bless.

[thanks frans]

Not that one should expect complete support at these events, as we witness this adorable group of people with a lot of time on their hands.

Bless..

Shame..

With promises to appear at every one of his Western Cape book signings, the one woman in the group was overheard taking Smit to task over the content in the book. In particular the section where she claims he referred to Luke Watson as “cancer.”

“No, no,” replied the Springbok Captain, “I said his conduct and presence within the squad was eating away at it… like a cancer. I said there was a ‘cancerous effect’”

The woman quipped, “but how can you as a Springbok captain publicly slate another Spprngbok?”

He dismissed the comment with, “if you read the whole book, you would have noticed the section where I actually commended him about some other things. I have remained truthful throughout my book and will leave it at that.”

Fair enough.

On that topic, I found this excerpt from Ruggaworld, commenting on the Luke Watson section of Smit’s book – Captain in The Cauldron:

As he wasn’t playing, it was a tough ask. Smit thought about what had gone wrong and judged that Luke Watson’s inclusion in the squad had been hugely divisive.

The son of “Cheeky” Watson, the anti-apartheid activist who forsook the chance of turning out for the Springboks to play his rugby with black players in the townships, Luke Watson had been forced on the previous coach, Jake White, by South African Rugby Union officials and now in 2008, many Springbok players were unhappy about his presence in the squad.

Smit felt that although Watson wanted to play for the Boks, he didn’t enjoy the environment. A bad situation was made worse by Watson rubbing his teammates the wrong way. Behind his back they called him “the cancer”, as they believed he poisoned the atmosphere.

For that do-or-die match against the Wallabies, he was a replacement and one of the 22 in the room when Smit began to speak. “There are 21 guys here who will bleed for each other,” he said, “and you have to understand that you can’t let one guy disrupt everything we’ve worked for as a team. We are bigger than this one guy, and he shouldn’t be allowed to affect how we feel about each other.”

As he spoke, Smit became more emotional. “Passion,” he said, “is not enough. You can talk about passion until the cows come home. Do you want to see passion?”

He then picked a glass from a nearby table and fired it against a wall. Fragments exploded in every direction, showering the players. “That is passion,” he said, “and it’s gone already. It’s over in a moment.”

Individual shows of passion from Watson or any other player, he was telling the group, were nothing compared to the collective will of a united team.

[more here]

Perhaps what the woman forgot to realise was that the fact that Watson wore that jersey in the first place was forced and the result of excessive duress. Perhaps things would have been different if he had earned it the natural organic way?

We are talking about a guy who often gets booed by his own home crowd.

CLICK HERE to buy John’s book, Captain in the Cauldron.

[thanks paul]

So many questions, but they’re not questions that you have to answer. Because you’re better than that. You’re a 2oceansviber and I will take care of you. Come here, hold daddy’s hand..

A queue
..very similar to those found at the Traffic Department

The Photographer is famous for coming up with the most outlandish ideas and suggestions, very often without actual reasoning or the support of logic. That was all wiped clean, as I followed through on a suggestion he gave me, to do with the renewal of my bike licence.

“Andy,” I asked, “do you know what time the Traffic Department opens?”

“Umm, It’s either nine or nine thirty,” he replied.

“Hmm, not ideal – that half an hour could be the difference between me taking my life or not”

“Why do you want to know? Do you have to pay your fines?” he asked.

“Nought. For my effing scooter licence renewal. For a new licence disc.”

“Why don’t you pay online?”

“Don’t be silly, Andrew, you can’t pay online.”

“Yes you can.”

“No you can’t.”

“Yes you can. I did.”

“Andrew, do you promise that you paid yours online?”

“Yes, I promise!”

And so he want on to tell me how it works. I kind of listened to him but didn’t want to get excited until I did it and it actually worked.

It did.

Quite simply, my fine feathered friends, all you have to do is call the number on the licence renewal form (mine was 0860 103089) and give them your vehicle registration number (licence plate). Then you tell them that you want to pay online. The person on the other end will give you their bank details and a unique reference number. Then you go to your online banking website and pay them, using the reference number they gave you to indicate on their statement that you have paid.

I swear to God, it’s true.

I did it.

It works.

Work is a sideline, Live the holiday..

And that’s before I tell you about the AquaCircus, which features juggling penguins and dolphins doing flick-flacks.

A CELEBRATION OF MUSIC, MOVEMENT AND SUMMERTIME

This festive season the V&A Waterfront and Hunta Live will take entertainment to a whole new level with the introduction of AquaFestival, a brand new V&A Waterfront Signature Event. The three-week long music and entertainment festival comprises a multi-disciplined series of world-class local and international performances. This unique celebration of music and movement is set to change the face of the entertainment scene in Cape Town over the festive season.

Set on a floating aquatic stage in a working harbour, with Table Mountain providing the most exquisite backdrop imaginable, AquaFestival will showcase contemporary opera, ballet, jazz, rock, pop, tribute shows and a daily circus from the 15th of December till the 6th of January 2010.

[visit www.aquafestival.com for more info]

Entourage fans will be disappointed that AquaMan won’t be making making it, but there is “Aqua” everything else! AquABBA, AquaCarols, AquaJazz, AquaBallet and AquaCircus – lest we forget the H2Opera, featuring the Cape Philharmonic (53 piece) as they accompany four world-class soloists!

I did some snooping around last night during rehearsals and I can tell you RIGHT NOW that this is not to be missed. Mark my words, Cape Town has NEVER seen anything like this and you will kick yourself if you don’t go to at least one show. It’s an absolute mind fuck!

Check this out:

Aqua Festival’s floating stage, with Table Mountain behind..
Cape Town has never seen anything like this!

Come on! That’s pretty impressive? That thing is FLOATING!

I gathered some interesting facts:

- The floating stage will be 28 x 18m for the festival.

- The modular barge is made up of over 1000 interlocking floating modules/blocks.

- The system used to build the floating platform has a maximum weight-bearing capacity of 150 tons.

- Gearhouse equipment weighs 65 tons. Bearing in mind a cow weighs 600 kilograms.

- The event uses only recycled catering equipment.

- My favourite fact : This is the only stage production in South Africa that employs naval architects.

- While I have you, I would like to point out that a bassoon is a woodwind, not a brass instrument!

Pretty wild hey? Here’s a bit more..

The AquaFestival will be a magical escape into a watery world of music, song and dance within a breathtaking and inimitable setting. It offers something for everyone, from cultural enthusiasts to families. Look forward to spine-tingling experiences and lasting memories. AquaFestival is simply the first of a number of V&A Waterfront Signature Events – a series of extraordinary experiences that could be held nowhere else other than the V&A Waterfront.

Executive producer for SA’s leading comedy company (Hunta Live), Sam Hendrikse said: “We have always loved taking audiences on comedic journeys at our comedy festivals and other arena presentations, now we get the chance to bring together the very best of local and international performances on a purpose-made, floating arena on the ocean. Technology and Engineering meet Music and Movement – Cape Town’s Summer Season will never be the same again.”

[visit www.aquafestival.com for more info]

Johnny Clegg – going for it!

SHOW DATES:

H2Opera – 15, 16 & 17 December
AquaCircus by Zip –Zap – Family Entertainment 16 – 31 December (daily)
The Parlotones – Rock 18 December
FreshlyGround – Afro Fusion 19 December
Miriam Makeba Homage – Jazz 20 & 21 December
AquaCarols – Onstage Family Entertainment 22 – 24 December
Johnny Clegg – Traditional/ Folk / World 26 – 28 December
AquAbba – 29 – 31 December AquaJazz – 1 January
AquaBallet – 2 & 3 January
Ladysmith Black Mambazo – Traditional / Folk / World 4 – 6 January
Princess of Pop – Pop 2 to 6 January (daily)

For detailed description of each event, visit www.aquafestival.com

THEN book at Computicket www.computicket.co.za

Mark my words, this will be sold out in DAYS.

BUY NOW, THINK LATER!

Not to be outdone, this chap took things to the next level and rode on TOP of a vehicle.

“Just stay there and don’t move!”

Although I have a feeling he wasn’t hitching a ride, but rather following instructions from “baas” driving the car.

Who needs roof racks and roof straps? Waste of money, if you ask me..

[thanks michael]

Roof sheeting on the road from Wembley Square’s roof (left)

The roof (top left) completely bald

Residents would have definitely not been impressed by the resultant vibe. But not as much as King James ad agency, which operates on that very level!

Our reporters were obviously on the scene as it happened.

Fucked

That’s where the likes of the ‘Group Head’ would sit

An unintentional skylight

Needless to say they did not use Leith Roofing when building Wembley Square. What a pity.

Sheesh, that really was a powerful wind!. But the nice thing about it is that it blows away all the toxins and pollution and dirt in the air. That’s why, a few years ago, I named it “The Cape Doctor.”

We’ve got TONS more photo’s of Cape Town’s wind damage from yesterday. So follow the link below to check it out.

CLICK HERE FOR ALL THE CAPE TOWN STORM DAMAGE PICS

[thanks alex, crispin, gary]

Behold, the ULTIMATE Christmas gift..

Due to the overwhelming amount of awesome videos on 2oceansvibe, you can’t be expected to watch it all – and let’s face it, not everyone has super fast internet. So here it is, people. You asked for it, and now you’ve got it. It’s the 2009 2oceansvibe DVD.

Not surprisingly, it’s entitled “Touch Yourself” and contains SO MUCH stuff I honestly don’t know where to begin. What’s more, they’re all presented in their original resolution, so you’re getting improved picture quality too!

Just to get you started, it’s basically got the ENTIRE 2oceansvibe Weathergirls Show collection (shame – poor you), with models including The Cowley Sisters, Tracy McGregor, Lyndall Jarvis, Genevieve Morton and tons more beautiful angels. And that’s not excluding the ones with Helen Zille and Goldfish and the other one with Bob Skinstad stripping down to his jocks! Some classic moments, I must admit!

But that’s not all..

Howz that DVD box? Pretty cool, hey? Can you imagine owning that and holding it close to your body? No need – just pop it in the DVD player and, when you watch it, it will feel like I am right there, holding you. Naked.

It’s also got the ENTIRE Pauly Shore series with Dirty Skirts soundtrack that we shot in Hollywood early on in the year – which includes Pauly Shore dry humping Zinzi on a physio’s table. Let alone live footage of Pauly making hotel booty calls and following through with the angels actually arriving at the door within minutes! Those who have watched the whole thing will confirm that it is truly hilarious! And I didn’t even mention the hidden-camera footage of Pauly in the drug store..

OBVIOUSLY it’s got the IDOLS Randall Abraham “Rocky” video which won the award for Best Blog Post at the 2009 SA Blog Awards. That same video has been watched online over 150,000 times so far. I simply couldn’t leave it out!

It’s got the little debate I had with Springbok Captain, John Smit, as well as the 2oceansvibe Top Billing feature which included Goldfish, as well as Ard Matthews from Just Jinjer on the show.

So it’s a bit of a joke when it comes to the volume of stuff you’re getting on the DVD. There’s even a Bonus footage section which includes the now famous Cape Town Short Cuts video, as well as behind the scenes never-seen-before footage of The TBG, Seth, The Dude, G-Man and the rest of the gang. I would tell you more, but don’t want to spoil it..

I had someone the other day tell me that they would pay R250 just for copies of all the weather girls. Well, Thomas, there will be no need! Because you can get EVERYTHING I have just mentioned AND MORE for just R100. That’s what a lot of people give car guards these days.

No surprises there – we’ve gone and made it too easy for you again.

It’s basically just all a big joke.

I cannot imagine a better Christmas present. It costs you nearly nothing and, at the same time, it might just save someone’s life. If you’re smart you’ll buy one for every person you’ve ever met in your life.

Do yourselves a favour and CLICK HERE (or the disc above) to go straight to the Diletto website, which is where you will be able to buy it right now, online baby!

And can you believe that the price includes a signed picture of Seth in the Karate-Kid “Crane” pose? Taken during the “Randall Abrahams ‘Rocky’ Video.”

Well it does.

All inclusive..

*The DVD will also be available to hire from all branches of DVD Nouveau.

*5% of all proceeds go to the MyLife Foundation

CLICK HERE TO BUY DVD

The uninitiated may want to check out the article we did on SA superstar Jack Parow a short while back. The guy has basically exploded onto the local music scene and the rollercoaster success of his single “Cooler As Ekke” certainly didn’t hurt! Click here to see the music video. Easily one of the top songs to come out of SA in the last year – one of the most amusing too!

BangersAndNash nailed it when they highlighted the lyrics which were maiing Jack Parow a hit even amongst the spoilt Southern Suburbs english-speaking kids:

My naam is Parow, dik heavy uit geskollie
Jy lyk soos Jeremy de Tollie
Jack Parow die life van die party
Jy dra net uh uh Issy Miyake
Jy’s too cool for school, ek’s mos kief
Ek’s Grasshopper, jy’s Le coq sportif
Jy laat die koek flop, ek laat die huis rys
Jou meisie het ‘n foto van my piel op haar space case

The guys has even been on TaxiJam…

And now he is coming to Cape Town. But I’ll tell you something else – he is not coming alone. Oh no. Believe you me, there is so much MORE…

One of the biggest parties of the year. FACT.

Yes, you read that correctly – The Wedding DJ’s will be there as well. If you don’t know who the Wedding DJ’s are, you OBVIOUSLY didn’t go to the “King’s of Neon” party held at Caprice a few weeks ago which was one of the most talked about parties in Caprice history. TRUST ME when I tell you that the party was off.the.charts. We left at about 3am and everyone who went cannot stop talking about the music – spun by none other than The Wedding DJ’s. They’re brilliant, they’re hilarious and they’re genius. And, just for spice, they’re sponsored by Steri-Stumpie..

I tried to personally book them for something I was thinking about and they were so booked up it became embarrassing.

But, because they roll amongst the afrikaans musiek cool-list, they seem to be available on Saturday night at The Assembly. Probably because Jack Parow is there. And almost definitely because “Die Heuwels Fantasties” are there.

Die Heuwels Fantasties is Hunter Kennedy (aKING & Fokofpolisiekar) and Pierre Greeff’s (Lukraaketaar) electronic music project. Johnny de Ridder (Fokofpolisiekar) is in charge of producing the music. Check them out HERE as they sing with the Soweto Gospel Choir.

I cannot tell you what an incredible party will be taking place on Saturday night at The Assembly in Cape Town. English, Afrikaans, Black, White and Cape Spanish will unite as one, like never before. It’s be like the 1995 World Cup, only better.

This is huge.

This is a defining moment for Cape Town.

Be there.

CLICK HERE TO BUY YOUR TICKETS ONLINE NOW

I couldn’t find them (the topless angels). But I think what we should do is look for funny and amazing things (in windows? cars? people? crime?) and leave a comment at the bottom of the post about what you saw.

Explain CAREFULLY where it is in the pic and we’ll go have a look.

CLICK HERE to go to website with image.

BANG, just like that your day got a whole lot better!

[well done, virtual africa!]

Please enjoy these pics (there are more, make sure you see them all by following the links below) of the Cape Town Green Point Stadium – COMPLETED BABY!

She a pretty little thing, isn’t she?

* Click pics to enlarge, then check out slideshow below.

Oh yes! I like that!

Small increase in surrounding area’s land value..

Well done, guys – you’ve done a bloody good job!

And well done to McDonalds for positioning themselves many years ago, just 12 centimeters from the outside wall of the stadium!

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL THE PICS AND SLIDESHOW – DO IT – TRUST ME!

[thanks dave, oli and gareth]

Today the whole vibe becomes even more clearer as we stumble upon this article by Alistair Pott, which details a Nazi U-Boat spotted off the coast of Sea Point! Can you bloody believe it? But don’t fright, it’s not a real U-Boat. It seems the submarine is, in fact, a prop for a….. wait for it…. NAZI MOVIE!!!

I know – it’s ALL happening!

Check, check, check it out:

A few weeks ago I was running on the promenade when I was absolutely stunned to see a U-boat (German submarine from WW2) just off shore. Since then I’ve seen the U-boat regularly. It’s often surrounded by life rafts and often has stacks of people standing on the deck. That was all too much for my notorious curiosity. Short Answer A two-part BBC drama called “The Sinking of the Laconia” is being shot in Cape Town at the moment. The ’submarine’ I have been seeing is a prop constructed for the filming (see photo below).

Long Answer The movie is about the Laconia Incident which is a fascinating story from World War 2.

On 12 September 1942 the armed troopship RMS Laconia was off the coast of West Africa. There were well over 2,000 people on board – mostly Italian prisoners of war.

At about 10PM the Laconia was spotted and torpedoed by the German submarine U-156 under the command of Werner Hartenstein.

The German crew surfaced and were amazed to find so many people in the water. Remarkably Hartenstein ordered a rescue operation and sent out the following message:

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

Sheesh Kebab! I’m glad we sorted that out.

There I was thinking we were under attack!

Oh well, to coin a phrase I made up quite some time ago, “the cat is out of the bag!”

Oh, AND my other classic, “You learn something new every day!”

This is what I found upon arrival:

Are you starting to see what I’m talking about? That there is the “Reynard” single-seater racing car. Now listen to this:

These open-wheeled beauties were designed for the high speed oval tracks of the USA, hence the emphasis on speed and stability. The Reynard was originally manufactured by Adrian Reynard in the UK and raced in the Barber Dodge race series in the USA which was a feeder series for the US Champ Car Series. Racing legend Juan Pablo Montoya won the Barber Dodge series in one of our cars before going on to dominate F1.

I was racing the car in the front of the above pic. Number 56, baby! I think it might have been the won that Juan Pablo Montoya used to race,

Click the pic below for hi-res image and you’ll see my name on the side of the car, towards the back.

QUITE MEAN!

The company It’s called Fantastic Racing and, just to fill you in on their vibe:

Fantastic Racing is the total racing experience. We offer you the unique opportunity of experiencing, racing and owning awesome race cars – from road vehicles through to F1 cars – at South Africa’s top tracks in Cape Town and Johannesburg.

Fantastic Racing offers the very best in corporate race days, conferences, networking, team-building activities, international racing adventures and adrenalin fuelled days out for the driving enthusiasts, with prices starting at R1,500.

Once you have experienced the excitement and adrenalin at Fantastic Racing you can return time and time again, safe in the knowledge that there will always be a race-ready car waiting for you. Our fleet adheres to the highest possible standards of safety and performance and is meticulously maintained by our dedicated team of mechanics.

We take you far beyond the normal driving experience . . . Fantastic Racing is racing.

Events start from R1,500. Click here to book your day with Fantastic Racing NOW.

The day was nothing but heart-stopping adrenalin and even the more timid drivers (Brenda!) were loosening up towards the end. I would describe the driving experience as very similar and direct as go-karting, only a lot faster. Personally I was hurting it at over 200 km/h on the main straight. We weren’t really allowed to do that, but I slowed down and created a big enough gap between me and the next person, so as to allow me enough room to test my limits.

I was pretty stoked that we each got our own locker as well, with full-on racing overalls, gloves, shows and helmet supplied.

I remember standing in my towel, slamming the locker door and turning to one of the guys next to me (also in his towel, torso exposed) and going, “What’s you’re problem, Kazinski?”

He turned to me and said, “You’re everybody’s problem. That’s because every time you go onto the race track, you’re unsafe. I don’t like you…because you’re dangerous.”

“THAT’S RIGHT! ICE…..MAN,” I said to him as I wiped his shoulder with my hand.

“I AM dangerous..”

Then he clenched his teeth together and that was that.

Weird, I know – but I just had to tell you what happened.

So check out these awesome pics from race day!

Pics courtesy of Paul and Fantastic Racing photographer.

It’s very cool – I strongly advise you do it!

Thanks to Cape Town Tourism for an amazing day and to the incredibly professional team at Fantastic Racing!

The Muse, The Photographer, Eddie S and I decided to take some refuge in the bar at The Bay hotel. It’s a lovely, cosy little bar with great views – a favourite amongst the Camps Bay locals throughout the winter, and summer.

We got to the entrance and got blocked by a security guard who informed us that only hotel residents were allowed access to the hotel.

The Bay hotel – Camps Bay
Locals not welcome

“I beg your pardon?” I retorted, gobsmacked.

“Only hotel guests allowed. Hotel is full,” our security guard friend informed us.

“I can see inside the bar from here, it is completely empty. Are you joking?” I gave the guard the benefit of the doubt – perhaps we were being Punk’d.

“Instructions from management,” he went on.

I realised that perhaps this was the result of the crazy crowds on the beach that day and maybe a blanket instruction had been given to all staff. With this in mind, I thought a bit of communication was in order.

“No problem,” I said, “this makes complete sense. Could you just make a quick call to the manager from the phone in your security booth and let him know that we are local Camps Bay residents.”

I turned to our little crew and informed them that this is obviously a formality and is surely to do with the mayhem on the beach.

The guy came back from making the call and said, “I’m sorry, local residents are not allowed in the hotel – only guests.”

We stood there, gobsmacked. I didn’t know what to say. All I could muster was, “there must be a mistake – did you tell the manager we are locals, who support the hotel throughout winter, when there are no tourists? Can you check again..”

He made another call, came back and said the same thing.

I asked for the manager’s name.

Mario Gomes, is the name he gave me.

And so, Mario Gomes and The Bay hotel, we would just like to thank you for that. It is very interesting to note how you welcome us with open arms in winter and carry on about how special the Capetonians are to you. But then as soon as summer comes, you refuse to let us in to your hotel – with full knowledge that we are locals and supporters of your hotel. Twice.

Not to mention the amount of friends and family we have directed to your establishment in the past..

What a pity.

But let’s hear what the readers out there think of this. Do you think it’s right that The Bay hotel bans locals during summer, but then let’s them in during winter? Perhaps this is standard around the world? We’d love to hear your thoughts – please add to the comments section – below.

I recall a launch of sorts (less than a month ago), with much fanfare and excitement. A new brave venture, during torrid times. A time, perhaps, that one should be trying that little bit harder to impress? In fact, one might even suggest “bending over backwards” as the order of the day. You know, something to help one stand out, as Cape Town restaurants are seen closing down left, right and centre.

Not for Portofino restaurant, it seems. As we recount a recent email exchange between a potential customer and the owner.

These emails are published chronologically, from start to finish. So, basically, you can read each one in order from TOP to BOTTOM.

*Customer’s name has been altered since original publication.

From: AF
To: info@portofinoct.co.za    

Sent: Monday, October 05, 2009 16:22

Subject: Website    Contact

Good Day,

We’re looking to make a booking for four people, tomorrow at 17:00 for an early business dinner— would this be possible?

Thank you,

AF

__________________________________

From: info@portofinoct.co.za>
Organization: Portofino Bar & Restaurant
Date: Monday, 5 Oct 2009 18:00
To: AF
Subject: Re: Website Contact

Hi AF,

That’s fine. See you tomorrow.

Regards

Cormac

__________________________________

From:  AF
To: info@portofinoct.co.za   
Sent: Tuesday, October 06, 2009 08:49
Subject: Re: Website   Contact

Hi Cormac,

Apologies, the dinner is only for Wednesday evening— is this a problem? If not, please put us down for 17:00 on Wednesday.

Also, will the full menu be available at 5 PM?

Kind Regards,

AF

__________________________________

From: info@portofinoct.co.za>
Organization: Portofino Bar & Restaurant
Date: Wednesday, 7 Oct 2009 19:54
To: AF
Subject: Re: Website Contact

Hi AF,

On   behalf of all of our staff who came in early to make and serve your food (we normally open at 6.30 I would like to thank you for messing their day up and more seriously disrupting my afternoon nap.

Please do us all a favour and don’t ever book a table at my restaurant again.

Regards

Cormac

__________________________________

From: AF
To: info@portofinoct.co.za
Sent: Thursday, October 08, 2009 08:38
Subject: Re: Website Contact

Hi Cormac,

Before I respond to this email   properly, I wanted to make sure that you had been informed of my cancellation, that I had phoned in at 4 PM yesterday? We had a last-minute schedule change on behalf of the business associates travelling down from Johannesburg that I called in as soon as I knew about. The tone of your email, and it’s commentary, indicates that perhaps you had not been informed of this telephonic cancellation.

AF

__________________________________

From: info@portofinoct.co.za>
Organization: Portofino Bar & Restaurant
Date: Thursday, 8 Oct 2009 10:16
To: AF
Subject: Re: Website Contact

Hi AF,

I had indeed been informed that you had canceled the table an hour before your booking time.

Tone remains the same.

Regards

Cormac

__________________________________

From: AF
To: info@portofinoct.co.za
Sent: Thursday, October 08, 2009 10:57
Subject: Re: Website Contact

Cormac,

In response to your email, I’d like to first state that in no way was I aware that any special measures had been taken by the restaurant on behalf of our party of four— this was never indicated to me in the reservation emails, nor are your opening hours indicated on your website. Had I known that the chef and staff were going to come in specifically for our party, and that the restaurant only opened at 6:30 PM, I would have confirmed the booking, as our plans were open to change (as they did), and changing plans would have disrupted the restaurant. It was never my intention to inconvenience anybody at the restaurant. We were, in fact, working with government representatives and looking to show them a great new restaurant, but unfortunately due to schedule changes from their side, had to cancel our booking.   Unfortunately, this happens when working with out-of-town guests.

Your efforts to open the restaurant early on our behalf are certainly noted, and appreciated. However, your response to our unfortunate cancellation is very upsetting. Had we known the lengths the restaurant had gone to in order to accommodate us, your frustrations would have been more understandable. Instead, we were operating under the understanding that the restaurant was open for normal business for the time in which we made our booking, which is why I cancelled the reservation.   When I saw your email come through, I had thought that it was no doubt an email to say, “Sorry you couldn’t make it, but we hope to see you soon,” or something along those lines. Instead, what I found was a personal attack on myself, and my integrity. This is out-of-line. I had looked forward to trying out your restaurant, as I enjoy supporting new establishments in Cape Town, and your menu looked particularly intriguing.   In light of your email, however, I will not be going to your restaurant, and will be actively discouraging others from visiting your restaurant as well.

Moreover as one of the dinner guests for last night’s booking, the CEO of XYZ (altered) Fund Managers, Mr. JS (altered), has seen the correspondence between us, and will be following up in due course with his own thoughts on the matter.

Frustrations with restaurant patrons who are unreasonably demanding and inflexible are understandable; anger and hostility towards potential clientele over a reservation cancellation is simply unacceptable, as is your tone and sarcasm that have been used freely in your correspondence. Personal integrity is something that should always be maintained, both professionally and socially. Your correspondence to me lacks integrity altogether.

It’s a shame that you have taken a good restaurant concept and menu, and clouded it behind a wall of arrogant customer service where the restaurant patron is viewed as a nuisance, as an unwanted visitor.

Regards,

AF

__________________________________

From: >info@portofinoct.co.za>
Organization: Portofino Bar & Restaurant
Date: Thursday, 8 Oct 2009 11:22
To: AF
Subject: Re: Website Contact   

Dear AF,

I am a little bit puzzled by your remarks “I will not be going to your restaurant, and will be actively discouraging others from visiting your restaurant as well” I would have thought that my email was quite clear when I asked you not to book a table at my restaurant, obviously not so I will try again, Please do not book a table at my restaurant again.

I will try and contain my excitement and await the contribution from “the CEO of XYZ Fund Managers, Mr. JS” upon receipt I will pin it up in the bathrooms for customers purusal while they relieve themselves.

Regards

Cormac

You can close your mouth now.

Whilst I agree that there are two sides to every story, this is a straightforward black and white email exchange and the facts are there for all to see.

Why do people behave in this way? Why would you not take it on the chin and put on a brave face? Why the urge to create negative energy and conflict?

Were you never told one story about how word spreads in Cape Town and how fickle its people can be? The way everyone knows everyone else, and if they don’t, they will know someone who does. Why would you risk behaving in this manner? Have you not heard the stories of restaurants opening and closing overnight after the community decides, en masse, to give it the “thumbs down?”

Clearly not. This is simply not how we behave.

God…the arrogance!

I did a little google for the restaurant name, and found this similar account on the Eat Out website.

Hmm..It seems we have a trend forming.

I simply don’t understand why you would go to the effort of spending money getting the restaurant out there with launch parties and marketing etc., if you’re not prepared to back it up?

Very interesting business technique.

So it’s over to you, 2oceansvibers – what are your thoughts on this little email exchange?

All the professional behind-the-scenes pics are right here.

The boys…the boys!

You’ve seen that face somewhere before?

The venue – shame..

Get in, babba..

I could go on forever. There were many more pics and I thought I would put them in a sexy slideshow for you. They include MANY more beautiful boys and girls and bikini’s and even this week’s WeatherGirl.

By the way, the 2oceansvibe Show is coming out tomorrow..

CLICK HERE TO SEE A SLIDESHOW OF ALL THE PICS!!

pics courtesy anthony fox

This brand new concept takes you, the very beautiful 2oceansvibe reader, onto the streets of Cape Town. Watch and learn, as your hero, Seth Rotherham navigates his way through the quickest, sneakiest and coolest short cuts on the road – showing you ways to avoid traffic lights and traffic jams. Saving you valuable seconds and, yes, even minutes!

Wait for video box to load under this line. Then turn up sound and press play.

* slower connections are advised to pause and wait for video to load up fully before pressing play.

So there you have it!! Hope you enjoyed that and we’re looking forward to giving you the next edition.

Next time I might might even push the seats forward and take you into the back with me. Ooh… you naughty little monster!

Last Sunday, for example, featured what could only be described as “Aladdin’s Grandmother” getting carried away as the live music took her to new levels of amazingness.

You simply have to see this video, as she displays pole dancing skills you never thought possible for a fully grown mature woman.

*pause vid and let it load up fully before you play.

So there you have it. Amazing how a steamy sexual pole dance can blend so seamlessly into a family Sunday lunch at Cafe Roux. All this going on, as the kiddies play in the sand pit and pet the odd Shetland pony and pot-bellied pig on its way through.

I thoroughly enjoyed how the owner, Paul le Roux (the balding fellow with the white jumper) didn’t bat an eye, as he continued tending to the guests. Standard stuff around there.

Because professionalism is….and that’s…what I want.

Check this out, taken yesterday at 17h23, as you get onto the N2 next to the entrance to le Waterfront.

Your basic five o’ clock muffshow

They’ve also got cams on Hospital Bend, Eastern Boulevard and many more, including the Green Point Stadium! Check it all out here .

But wait, that’s not all! If you click in the next ten minutes, you’ll also get Camps Bay beach cams!! Oh yes – they’ve extended the “traffic” cams to Camps Bay beach as well. Allowing you, the sunbather, to see how hectique things are looking on a particular day. Also useful for those of you in the ‘burbs who THINK it might be winter, when in actual fact the sun is shining on “the other side.”

Today, for example, you WON’T be going to the beach..

Pretty sick!

I’ve added those links to the top of the left menu (just under where it says “HOME”) so you won’t struggle to find them in future.

Just looking out for you.

[you lean forward and give me a peck on the cheek]

Oooh! Thank you, my baby!

[thanks george]

Stunning!

Hi Seth,

I hope your Hollywood adventures are going swimmingly! The cold, wet weather has returned to Cape Town this week – but I’m counteracting the appalling weather by contributing to the South African red wine sales, so it’s not all bad.

Some time back I sent you a pearler of an image which I found in Woodstock – the Obama “Yes We Can” Haircut. Ring a bell? I was on my travels again with a colleague around the city last week and after leaving Wembley Square we made our way towards Buitenkant Street. The car was brought to an abrupt halt when I noticed a message that had been spray painted onto a wall pointing towards a window. It was too beautiful not to be photographed.

And Seth – notice how the crack dealers are now aiding the SAPS in “cracking” down on crime. Its so beautiful how, only in Cape Town, one can sell crack to those who truly need it but then always voluntarily make yourself available to the Po-Po. No hidden agendas.

I love this city.

Come home soon Seth!

Best wishes,

Kate R

God, I love that kind of stuff. Reminds me of that one on Ocean View Drive. Have you seen it. Someone sprayed something like “crackhouse” on the side of the house. It’s still there I think, on Ocean View Drive, near Glen Garriff (send pic on your way to work tomorrow if you know it).

So ja, crack houses aren’t just for Woodstock – the Atlantic Seaboard digs them as well.

Charming.

UPDATE:

It seems this little crackhouse is actually next to Wembley Square in Town/Gardens and it really is a crackhouse.

I love that kind of shit!

[thanks kate, thanks margs]

An example of the good stuff would probably be this little vibe spotted recently on the N2 just outside Cape Town – at about 120 km/h.

Hello hello, what do we have here?

Awesome!

That’s a fine example of the kind of stuff that “makes the grade” as it were..

Hey, have you checked out TaxiJam? It’s cool – check it out.

[thanks ashley]

But an important one, nonetheless.

It’s to do with this little guy:

I call it “Le Table Mountain”

You will fondly recall the last time we chatted about this, when I wrote you an article entitled “TABLE MOUNTAIN UP FOR NEW 7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD.”

To recap:

South Africans have until July 7 to vote for Table Mountain in the global race to name the New 7 Wonders of Nature. The country’s most famous mountain needs an injection of votes to secure its spot as one of the world’s top wonders.

The New7Wonders Foundation in Zurich, Switzerland announced in January 2009 that Table Mountain was one of 261 magnificent natural sites from 222 countries to have made it through to the second round in this global race to name the New 7 Wonders of Nature.

Well would you believe it, Table Mountain has reached the number 7 spot in the New 7 Wonders of Nature rankings. The beast of a rock has climbed 22 places in less than one month. Thanks to extensive media support and an Election event, the mountain is now a top contender (being in the top 11 in its category) for inclusion into the next round.

South Africans must continue voting to keep it in the top 11. Voting ends July 7, 2009.

So that is what we are here chatting about right now. We simply MUST all get on board and make this happen. Come on, gang – it’s VERY EASY to do.

Follow these instructions (local AND abroad!):

Since Table Mountain was announced as an official nominee in January this year, supporters have only been allowed to vote online. Now, with the introduction of telephone voting, more Table Mountain fans can show their support for the Cape’s most recognised icon.

Table Mountain supporters can choose to dial an international telephone number, type in Table Mountain’s three-digit code and hang up. Standard international telephone costs apply.

You can cast your telephonic vote by calling 0041 77 312 4041. After a short message, you will be asked to key in your nominee’s three-digit code. Type 332 for Table Mountain. Once you hear a thank you message, you can hang up.

Table Mountain soared to number 5, but now sits at number 7 in the New 7 Wonders of Nature global rankings, rocketing 22 places from its previous position of 29 two weeks ago. It needs an injection of votes to remain in the top 11. It is now officially ahead of legendary mountains such as Mount Everest, K2 Mountain and Mount Kilimanjaro.

To qualify for the next round, Table Mountain needs to be ranked in the top 11 of its category – mountains and volcanoes – which has 36 fellow nominees. Table Mountain is currently ranked seventh out of 36. Other categories include seascapes, lakes, islands, ice formations, waterfalls and forests.

“We are thrilled that the New7Wonders committee has organized a telephone voting service as it allows all those with no internet access to vote,” said Sabine Lehmann, CEO of Table Mountain Aerial Cableway.

Calls to the New 7 Wonders Swiss mobile voting number will cost R3.29 a minute in peak times (7am – 7pm) and R2.92 a minute off-peak (7pm – 7am).

The New7Wonders Foundation in Zurich, Switzerland announced in January 2009 that Table Mountain was one of 261 magnificent natural sites from 222 countries to have made it through to the second round in this global race to name the New 7 Wonders of Nature.

 

 

The New 7 Wonders of Nature will be determined by votes from the public. South Africans and fans from outside of our borders can show their support for the Mother City’s majestic mountain by visiting www.votefortablemountain.com or calling 0041 77 312 4041 (press 332 for Table Mountain) and casting their vote.

Voting to select the top 77 sites (11 per category) runs until July 7 this year. Thereafter a panel of experts will select the 21 finalists (3 per category) – these will be announced on July 21 when the third and final phase of voting will begin. The official New 7 Wonders of Nature will be revealed in 2011.

Over 100 million votes were cast in 2007’s first-ever global election for the New 7 Wonders of the world. More than 1 billion votes are forecast in this 2nd global election. To cast your vote for Table Mountain visit www.votefortablemountain.com or call 0041 77 312 4041. Contact the Cableway on 021 424 0015 for information.

I thoroughly enjoyed the line, “It is now officially ahead of legendary mountains such as Mount Everest, K2 Mountain and Mount Kilimanjaro.”

Hah!

Smell you later, K2!

“Sorry, Kilimanjaro, what did you say?” [cups ear, struggling to listen] “I can’t hear you because our Greatest Mountain in the World badge is making too much noise!!”

DO THE RIGHT THING, TEAM, AND CAST YOUR VOTE NOW!!!!

Photo from Life Is Savage
(Courtesy of Grant Hood)

Photo courtesy of @heinkoen

This, from News24:

Cape Town – A container carrying potentially harmful chemicals washed up on Camps Bay beach on Thursday afternoon, according to Disaster Risk Management.

The owner of the container, whose name has not been confirmed, has been tasked with removing it, Disaster Risk Management’s Charlotte Powell said.

A crane was on its way and Hazmat teams, the police, disaster risk management staff and the fire department were also on the scene.

Police spokesperson Inspector Bernadine Steyn said it was not a criminal matter and no case had been opened.

According to Powell and News24 users on the scene, the tank contains a form of Cresol, a chemical used to make disinfectants and household cleaners, amongst other things.

While exposure to the chemical at low levels is not harmful, it can cause irritation and pain when breathed, ingested or touched.

[more here]

Wow! It’s ALL happening!

I enjoyed this from Life Is Savage : A female onlooker describes the object as a massive metal cylinder surrounded by rusty metal beams..and she swears she saw something emerge and run into Caprice and order the 2 for 1 Dreamy burger special..

We are standing by for more info..

Until then, here’s the song “TOXIC” by Britney Spears:

If you have any more info, please add it to the comments section under this article. And, if you have any other pics – send ‘em in at editor@2oceansvibe.com with the subject “Don’t you know that you’re TOXIC!”

[thanks dave, thanks harps]

His parents found out about it when someone in a helicopter spotted it and sent the pics in to the British press. You can read about that here, but for now I have something else for you. Something quite similar from home. From the Southern Suburbs of Cape Town to be precise!

Please enjoy this vibe on Newlands Avenue, near to Forries.

The global massive penis joke continues..

Aaah ja [wipes eyes], that’s quite special. Far more detailed, you’ll notice, compared to the very symmetrical penis drawn by the boy in West Berkshire (here).

I don’t think it’s too rude.

As I said in the last article, Boys Will Be Boys..

[thansk mike]

Let’s get a quick recap of that.

The eSimpowenis

Well, either way, I got an email from Eric at Springleap who told me the image was actually called “The eSimpowenis ” and was the winning design from their August 2008 competition on springleap.com (they run a design competition every 2 weeks, and the winning voted t-shirt is sold online and in stores).

Anyway, he directed to their website and I bought the T-shirt!!

Check, check, check it out!

My new T-shirt!
CLICK HERE TO GO TO IT ON THE WEBSITE

I know! Pretty cool hey?

I’ve subsequently been chatting to the owner and he agreed to a special little deal just for YOU. Quite simply, all 2oceansvibe readers will get R50 off their first purchase at Springleap.com.

All you have to do is use the coupon code “ThanksSeth” (case sensitive) when you buy your T-Shirt (any T-shirt) from their website.

Click here to go to their website.

Click here to go straight to the eSimpowenis T-shirt page.

Got it?

Good.

Enjoy it.

Jordy Smith is in Kommetjie on Monday

For those of you who don’t know, our very own Jordy Smith (website here) is 21 and is already ahead of where Kelly Slater was at that age (they share the same birthday, 11 Feb, btw). This guy is often referred to as a freak of nature and is blowing people’s minds all over the world.

The most recent mind-blowing vibe took place within the last week in Mentawais (you know where that is, right?) and shocked surfers around the world when he landed a “Rodeo Flip.” When I first heard about this I didn’t know what the fuss was about, as The Muse and I pull off Rodeo Flips the whole time at The Safe House.

But then I saw this video on TheBombSurf.com.

WATCH VIDEO of Jordy Smith
Landing a “Rodeo Flip”

Oh, ok, I see what you mean now. Pretty sick!

So anyway, back to the vibe. Jordy Smith will be doing a signing session at Roddy’s Kommetjie Surf Shop on Monday the 22nd at 16:30. Surfers and non-surfers alike are urged to grab this opportunity by the balls to meet him and get a signed poster from the future world champ.

I wonder if Jordy will be able to get a pic with The TBG while he’s in town… I very much doubt Kelly Slater has managed to pull off thatone!

Thought you might enjoy it.

Click pic for hi-res version.

CLICK HERE FOR HI-RES CAPE TOWN PANORAMIC IMAGE

Jeepers, that is impressive!

Shame, very kak place we live in.

[thanks erica]

UPDATE: Just received word that the photo was taken by city photographer Bruce Sutherland. Check out his website here – http://silverskypix.wetpaint.com/ (thanks phatz)

Not that you can blame me for buying it. Try this cover out for size..

Cosmopolitan Magazine – June 2009
Featuring Scarlett Johansson

Cosmopolitan editor, Vanessa Raphaely chose this month’s Letter From the Editor to let off a bit of steam about men…. in general. Kicking off with this line:

“Why are you always so kak about men?” asks Mathew, The Guru’s sidekick, who has settled into the best spot in the TV room.”

And off she went about her various pet male peeves; from the way they smell to the fact that they don’t get pregnant. It’s pretty hilarious and you’re gonna have to buy the mag to read all of it. But what I will give you for now is the second last paragraph where she gave Daddy Cool a mention.

Check it out:

Seth Rotherham is Vanessa Raphaely’s weakness
FACT

Aah, Vanessa, if you were here right now I would hold you so close to my body you’d think you were back in the womb.

And you know it’s true! My love for the Raphaely sisters is well documented (here, among many others) and I must say I’d be hard-pressed to choose between the two.

Mmm.. Julia..

[drifts into a day-dream filled with fields and meadows and lavender-lined pebbled lanes - Chris Rea's "Julia " playing in the background]

Whoah! Sorry about that. I’m getting ahead of myself and I think it’s time to go!

Before I sign off I just want to add that this month’s edition includes viewing for both men and women. Like this story, for example:

I know!

What is that guy doing to that woman’s leg? Cosmo is OFF THE CHARTS at the moment! I should make mention of the fact that the very same article even features some inside sex info from Colin Moss. No, I am not spicing you!

It’s pretty radical. Check it out. Then also click HERE to check out their website.

And a big kiss to you, Vanessa.

MWAH! X

[squeezes bum, lowers shades to reveal eyes, winks]

So not only will you be scoring freebies, you’ll be doing a good thing too! You see, this Rooibos tea producer (Royal-T) has pledged to donate all profits from it’s UK sales to a South African Children’s orphanage called Mama Lumka (www.mamalumka.org.za).

I found out how it all works, as well as some interesting facts! Like the fact that you can contact Royal-T and have them SEND FREE TEA TO A FRIEND!

Check this out, from Royal-T:

Rooibos Tea is a herbal bush tea exclusively found and grown in South Africa, and has the fastest growing number of sales compared to any other herbal tea cultivar available in the UK.

The reason for this is people seem to like the benefits of this tea:

• Rooibos tea is (naturally) caffeine free and only has half the tannin of ordinary tea

• Rooibos contains essential minerals and unique powerful antioxidants that can help with anti-aging and can have anti-inflammatory properties

• Naturally contains Polyphenols that can help protect the body from damage done by free radicals

• Can relieve digestive problems, nausea, vomiting, stomach cramps and constipation. It also can have a calming effect and alleviate irritability, insomnia and depression.

• Rooibos can help reducing cancer-associated changes in damaged DNA cells

• 100% Organic, completely pure and is steam sterilized

• Tastes not too dissimilar to normal tea.

Royal-T Rooibos uses the highest grade pure Rooibos available and is available nationwide now at all Costco stores and even offered at the same price as in South Africa (99p per pack of 40 tea bags).

To help educate people about the benefits of Rooibos and help the Mama Lumka orphanage, we have created a dedicated Twitter (www.twitter.com/rooibosT) and Blog (www.royalrooibos.com )
for the UK market.

Very cool. And how about this – For the launch they are also running a special offer till the end of July 2009 where anyone in the UK can win £100 and get free tea sent to a friend, or choose to donate the tea to the children’s orphanage charity.

More here at the Royal T website

I investigated what needs to be done and it looks like all you need to do is take a picture of yourself with Rooibos Tea and email it with your name and a contact number to win@royalrooibos.com.

They will pick one picture randomly at the end of July 2009 and send the winner £100 cash. All the pictures sent in will be displayed in a gallery on the website.

For more info or for pictures please email chris@huddlemind.com.

For competition details go to www.royalrooibos.com/campaign.

A stunning visual treat, slowly becoming more of a drawcard for the tourists flocking to these shores.

Photo courtesy of Chris Malcolm

This is clearly not the purpose of the drains/holes, as they are meant to be used the other way around. A process often mimicked by the local inhabitants cruising the Beach Road..

This weekend’s storm was so big and powerful that it took down the orange/brown rusted metal eyesore, which masqueraded as a piece of art outside the e-TV studios for many years. Paul Snodgrass risked everything to send us these photographs from the front line, following this weekend’s storms (which Tracy McGregor told you about last week).

Onlookers
Looking on

Die rusty statue!

I called this artist’s bluff when I first saw the monstrosity a few years back. I remember thinking, “Unless that is from an actual Tron movie, I’m just not buying it. It’s rubbish – literally.”

It’s not clever, and I think a lot of people in the area secretly agree – they just didn’t have the nerve to say it. Well now you can! Let it out! The statue is gone and Kloof Street is YOURS again! Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!

While we’re at it, check out some more of Cape Town’s landmark’s in Snow Patrol’s new video – The Planets bend between us. (The Table Mountain money shot is at the 1:40 mark).

Paul Snodgrass sent that in the SAME email.

He is proving parTICularly useful today!

As I do.

This is how I’m rolling at the moment
Deal with it

Please enjoy the shoes which I have fallen absolutely in love with, as well as the jacket with old-school wooden buttons that I also got from Puma. Pretty sick hey? You’ve been missing those buttons, haven’t you? And there we were thinking Puma only did tight lumo stuff! Hah! We were very wrong, my friends.

Puma’s brand and rich history (awesome story about how it started if you don’t know it) has always intrigued me and I have embraced it in the very true sense of the word. Now it’s not in my nature to show-off TOO much, but I couldn’t help but show you these stunning pics below.

The result of a ballistic whirlwind 2 hour shopping experience I had at the Cape Town’s V&A Waterfront Puma on Friday.

The Puma Lifestyle store
On Cape Town V&A Waterfront’s “Death row”

The Puma lifestyle experience
Mother would be proud

The logo is so cool I almost didn’t want to unpack the bags. Nor did I want to throw them away. The red and the white logo… with the leaping Puma – come on, man – it’s just too much! I want it inside me.

I wouldn’t want to take up all your time showing you one product at a time, like the pair of green Puma Clyde Kozydan’s (plutz!) that I finally got my hands on, after reading about the shape and history on CoolHunting‘s website (made famous in the 70s by the endorsement of New York Knicks’ Walt Frazier, btw). As well as hearing (on HypeBeast‘s website) about the Los Angeles based painters and illustrators Kozyndan who designed them .

So instead I’ll just give you a broad overview of my radical haul of Puma Lifestyle clothing.

Very naughty.

Don’t be shy of the Rudolf Dassler jacket
Second from the right at the top

I must say, I had NO idea that Puma were connected to Evisu jeans? did you know that? And Ducati! How rad is that!? I mean, I knew they were connected to Ferrari , but had no idea about Ducati! And, let’s face it, Ducati is SO hot right now!

Actually, while we’re at it, let’s just get a quick close-up of my Evisu jeans and red distressed leather Ducati belt.

You know you want one!

I think I’ll stop there before I get TOTALLY carried away. I just wanted you to be AWARE of what was going on at Puma.

Crazy stuff.

I held back from the leather jackets they have there that will come in VERY handy during winter. I’m just waiting for the right time.. They’re so goddamn awesome – you know the ones I’m referring to? Those fitted leather jackets that the coolest kids in the world are wearing at the moment? Not too many zips… you know the ones..

God, I’ve wanted one for AGES!

It will be mine.

Oh yes, it will be mine..

[thanks alex]

Quite something!

An ocean of cloud

God only knows what is going on under that blanket!

Oh dear me.

We seriously need to work on our spelling guys. Are you aware that one word can change the story completely? And are you aware that two words can mean completely different things, EVEN IF they sound the same? Are you ABSOLUTELY SURE about this headline?

Unless it is genuinely about a flying pig? Which would be pretty damn amazing. In fact, I’d say it’s an even BIGGER story than the Swine Flu outbreak.

In which case you might want to give CNN a call – they’d probably pick up on the story.

Awesome!

[thanks rich]

Like this recent video of The Surfer enjoying a bit of tractor time – a pastime usually reserved for The Fruit Farmer.

Please enjoy The Surfer pretending to be The Farmer, to the sound of Limp Bizkit. Taken this weekend’s bachelor weekend away for The Personal Trainer, in Bot River.

You will enjoy it. Yeehaa!

Things are SO crazy around here at the moment!

[If you haven't watched part 1 then you need to do that first otherwise it won't make sense. Seriously]

It should be in the article below this one. If not, CLICK HERE.

And so, once you’ve done that, here is Part 2 (of 2), featuring Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model and BOMBshell girl, Genevieve Morton!

Fine

Video is below.

REMEMBER : For smooth viewing: JUST as you start playing, PAUSE the video to let it load up a bit, THEN PLAY it.

Enjoy:

Never mind the actual weather, the report was FINE!

I was hesitant when I first met Gen, but, I’ll be honest, [switch to high pitched voice] she won me over. Besides from being smoking hot, she is a bona fide cool chick.

Gen gets into character..

So here it is, people – the fourth 2oceansvibe Weather Girl joins us for this weeks weather report!

This comes with much love and, whilst ikraal.co.za do all the production work, a big thank you goes out to Nesslynne (The TBGess), who filmed the scooter thong scene… (God help us all).

Watch part 1, then part 2 (to come). Obviously.

The one part features the thong vibe and the other part features the weather report. You need to watch both to find out!

But, for smooth viewing: JUST as you start playing, PAUSE the video to let it load up a bit, THEN PLAY it.

PART 1 :

Thanks again Gen for being such a little star!

And the rest of you, have a wonderful weekend, my darlings.

Right up your alley, perhaps?

The website is called This Is The Life (TITL) and you can find it here (madge-thisisthelife.blogspot.com/) and I’d say this is for the laydezz! although the boys could pick up a few tips..

This is the life

A friend noticed that she was linking to 2oceansvibe and, after reviewing it, I thought you’d like to know about it!

Maybe you know her already?

Enjoy this little excerpt:

I’m just not in the mood to bore you all with my rather eventful weekend, but what I will do is give you all a few words and let you fill in the gaps. This could definitely end up being interesting…

Let’s start on Friday: Drinks after work, drunk, speed home, accused of having an affair with my boss (noooooo!) and told to get out of the house, the switch flicks, lots of violence, flashing blue lights…

Just to let you all know I’m fine, apart from having really sore arms, where I bashed into blocking arms.

The moral of the story: “Don’t fuck with me when I’m drunk and in particular when I’m angry at you already!” I must say, it was a good release for me. Probably all the pent-up anger of the past year coming out in one go.

Check it out.

Perhaps you guys should chat?

This week’s 2oceansvibe Weather Girl is none other than one of the The BOMB Surf BOMBshells , 21 year old Miss Cape and former Miss SA finalist, Michelle G from M1 Management.

We have a little chat with the little treasure before she gives us the Cape Town weather report for the upcoming weekend, as well as tips on what she will be doing, depending on the weather for each day.

I know – what a great vibe!

[pause video, when it starts, switch to big screen, and wait for the video to load if you're a slow coach]

Does your agency have an angel who has what it takes to be a 2oceansvibe weather Girl? Email us a LINK (please don’t email photographs) to her pics on your agency’s website and, if she has what it takes, we’ll give you a shout!

editor@2oceansvibe.com

CLICK HERE to check out The BOMB Surf and the other BOMBshells..

How bizarre, I thought to myself.

Now why would this angel
be wearing a fake bow tie?

I couldn’t understand why she had on a bow tie, so I kept looking around the page for clues. And then it hit me.. Oh my good Lord, I couldn’t quite believe what I had found. I finally realised why the angel was wearing a bow tie..

You see, it was the Easter weekend and with Easter comes the Easter Bunny. And then, in turn, this (according to some) translates to the naked woman found in the international men’s magazine, Playboy – who refer to the women as “bunnies.” Playboy bunnies, to be precise.]

It all became clear when I found this incredible marketing vibe at the bottom of their page:

“We welcome calls on the Easter weekend”
(note trademark Playboy bunnies on either side)

Ooooh, I seeeeeee !

Are you getting this?

Let me zoom in on the one side for you.

Easter…
Bunnies…
Playboy!
Get it?

I looked around the page and realised that the lady in question was the only agent on the whole page, apart from the fellow in the header/logo, who must be the main guy.

Let’s get a hi-res of our boy:

Tony
Dominating the Southern Suburbs.

I’m not sure who was responsible for the Playboy bunny marketing angle, but Tony, if it was you, you get full marks for effort and managing to pull it off.

That takes balls.

Balls of steel.

Shiny steel balls.

Surrounded by Playboy bunnies.

I’m talking about this “National Skirt Extension Project” thing that is being advertised everywhere.

So check it out. Here are the ads that are being featured in newspapers and across the nation, including the Sunday Times. It’s pretty funny. They’re stating that all female toilet signs need to be changed with urgency, to an image depicting a longer skirt.

CLICK HERE for the website if you’re struggling to read that

CLICK HERE for the website if you’re struggling to read that

They have also taken out radio spots on various radio stations, including KFM, apparently.

I checked out the WHOIS of their website and it was only registered on 26 March, 2009. It’s owned by an ad agency of sorts, called Osco “Creative Connoisseurs.”

I called them and asked who the client is behind the campaign, or if they did it for themselves as a publicity stunt. Paul informed me that he simply registered the domain name for the client and cannot give out any of their details. If it was a genuine thing, he wouldn’t have been so cagey about that. He says a lot of reporters have called him and he told them the same thing. I mean, who wouldn’t give out a name and number to get people of their back?

I called the “NSEP” number (found on the website above) and there is a pre-recorded message and when you press 0 to speak to an operator, you stay on hold – forever.

There are no government emblems on their site either.

Is it serious? Not a fuck. It’s a pretty expensive joke and a good publicity stunt.

Now we just have to wait for the entity to reveal itself. Ooooooh!

Probably tomorrow. Probably Unilever.

And so, to finish off, I give you the stunning video I received from Jon C which involves the NSEP, as well as some cycling! It may well cause you to choke from laughter.

So, you know, be careful..

It’s SO awesome!

It’s like SO now!

It is SO brazen, SO radical and SO brilliantly rude, that we should do nothing but stand and applaud.

In the words of Montell Jordan..

“THIS IS HOW WE DO IT!”

Stand up from whatever you’re doing and wherever you are and give a little clap.

Do it now.

God, that was good.

One must ask the question, “is this not the best parking spot in the world?”

[thanks andrew]

“Middle of nowhere” parking is now an offence
“Oh my God! It’s like you can’t do ANYTHING anymore!”

Gone are the days you could just drive into the Waterfront and stop and park when it felt good – now they actually want you to FIND a parking spot and drive INTO IT.

I know. Bastards.

Next thing they’re going to force us to queue.

It’s going to be a big change, but I’m sure we will manage.

[thanks ryan]

]]> http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/04/06/waterfront-ban-park-anywhere-rule/feed/ 5 http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/04/02/toe-shoes-will-not-take-off/ http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/04/02/toe-shoes-will-not-take-off/#comments Thu, 02 Apr 2009 13:00:00 +0000 Seth Rotherham http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/04/02/toe-shoes-will-not-take-off/ Read more...