2oceans Vibe

By now you would have watched Part 1 of the 4th 2oceansvibe Weather Girls installment. This one is Part 2.

[If you haven't watched part 1 then you need to do that first otherwise it won't make sense. Seriously]

It should be in the article below this one. If not, CLICK HERE.

And so, once you’ve done that, here is Part 2 (of 2), featuring Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model and BOMBshell girl, Genevieve Morton!

Fine

Video is below.

REMEMBER : For smooth viewing: JUST as you start playing, PAUSE the video to let it load up a bit, THEN PLAY it.

Enjoy:

Never mind the actual weather, the report was FINE!

It’s an action packed episode this week, split into two parts! Not only do we spend time with the gorgeous Genevieve Morton (grab a seat), but we also delve into the secret underworld of scooter thong riding in Cape Town – featuring yours truly.

I was hesitant when I first met Gen, but, I’ll be honest, [switch to high pitched voice] she won me over. Besides from being smoking hot, she is a bona fide cool chick.

Gen gets into character..

So here it is, people – the fourth 2oceansvibe Weather Girl joins us for this weeks weather report!

This comes with much love and, whilst ikraal.co.za do all the production work, a big thank you goes out to Nesslynne (The TBGess), who filmed the scooter thong scene… (God help us all).

Watch part 1, then part 2 (to come). Obviously.

The one part features the thong vibe and the other part features the weather report. You need to watch both to find out!

But, for smooth viewing: JUST as you start playing, PAUSE the video to let it load up a bit, THEN PLAY it.

PART 1 :

Thanks again Gen for being such a little star!

And the rest of you, have a wonderful weekend, my darlings.

Ok, it’s not just about her divorce, but she is going through one. I’m told on good authority that she is a 28 year old “smoking hot” white Capetonian, working in the city bowl who swears and takes sleeping pills.

Right up your alley, perhaps?

The website is called This Is The Life (TITL) and you can find it here (madge-thisisthelife.blogspot.com/) and I’d say this is for the laydezz! although the boys could pick up a few tips..

This is the life

A friend noticed that she was linking to 2oceansvibe and, after reviewing it, I thought you’d like to know about it!

Maybe you know her already?

Enjoy this little excerpt:

I’m just not in the mood to bore you all with my rather eventful weekend, but what I will do is give you all a few words and let you fill in the gaps. This could definitely end up being interesting…

Let’s start on Friday: Drinks after work, drunk, speed home, accused of having an affair with my boss (noooooo!) and told to get out of the house, the switch flicks, lots of violence, flashing blue lights…

Just to let you all know I’m fine, apart from having really sore arms, where I bashed into blocking arms.

The moral of the story: “Don’t fuck with me when I’m drunk and in particular when I’m angry at you already!” I must say, it was a good release for me. Probably all the pent-up anger of the past year coming out in one go.

Check it out.

Perhaps you guys should chat?

What’s the weather looking like for this weekend? Look no further!

This week’s 2oceansvibe Weather Girl is none other than one of the The BOMB Surf BOMBshells , 21 year old Miss Cape and former Miss SA finalist, Michelle G from M1 Management.

We have a little chat with the little treasure before she gives us the Cape Town weather report for the upcoming weekend, as well as tips on what she will be doing, depending on the weather for each day.

I know – what a great vibe!

[pause video, when it starts, switch to big screen, and wait for the video to load if you're a slow coach]

Does your agency have an angel who has what it takes to be a 2oceansvibe weather Girl? Email us a LINK (please don’t email photographs) to her pics on your agency’s website and, if she has what it takes, we’ll give you a shout!

editor@2oceansvibe.com

CLICK HERE to check out The BOMB Surf and the other BOMBshells..

I took a double take, nay, a triple take this weekend as I browsed through the property section of the Weekend Argus. The first thing that jumped out of the Vineyard Estates page was the fact that the estate agent featured for the one property had a superimposed bow-tie on.

How bizarre, I thought to myself.

Now why would this angel
be wearing a fake bow tie?

I couldn’t understand why she had on a bow tie, so I kept looking around the page for clues. And then it hit me.. Oh my good Lord, I couldn’t quite believe what I had found. I finally realised why the angel was wearing a bow tie..

You see, it was the Easter weekend and with Easter comes the Easter Bunny. And then, in turn, this (according to some) translates to the naked woman found in the international men’s magazine, Playboy – who refer to the women as “bunnies.” Playboy bunnies, to be precise.]

It all became clear when I found this incredible marketing vibe at the bottom of their page:

“We welcome calls on the Easter weekend”
(note trademark Playboy bunnies on either side)

Ooooh, I seeeeeee !

Are you getting this?

Let me zoom in on the one side for you.

Easter…
Bunnies…
Playboy!
Get it?

I looked around the page and realised that the lady in question was the only agent on the whole page, apart from the fellow in the header/logo, who must be the main guy.

Let’s get a hi-res of our boy:

Tony
Dominating the Southern Suburbs.

I’m not sure who was responsible for the Playboy bunny marketing angle, but Tony, if it was you, you get full marks for effort and managing to pull it off.

That takes balls.

Balls of steel.

Shiny steel balls.

Surrounded by Playboy bunnies.

I didn’t want to get into this, as it is clearly a publicity stunt of sorts, but the emails don’t seem to be stopping and I simply have to say SOMETHING about it.

I’m talking about this “National Skirt Extension Project” thing that is being advertised everywhere.

So check it out. Here are the ads that are being featured in newspapers and across the nation, including the Sunday Times. It’s pretty funny. They’re stating that all female toilet signs need to be changed with urgency, to an image depicting a longer skirt.

CLICK HERE for the website if you’re struggling to read that

CLICK HERE for the website if you’re struggling to read that

They have also taken out radio spots on various radio stations, including KFM, apparently.

I checked out the WHOIS of their website and it was only registered on 26 March, 2009. It’s owned by an ad agency of sorts, called Osco “Creative Connoisseurs.”

I called them and asked who the client is behind the campaign, or if they did it for themselves as a publicity stunt. Paul informed me that he simply registered the domain name for the client and cannot give out any of their details. If it was a genuine thing, he wouldn’t have been so cagey about that. He says a lot of reporters have called him and he told them the same thing. I mean, who wouldn’t give out a name and number to get people of their back?

I called the “NSEP” number (found on the website above) and there is a pre-recorded message and when you press 0 to speak to an operator, you stay on hold – forever.

There are no government emblems on their site either.

Is it serious? Not a fuck. It’s a pretty expensive joke and a good publicity stunt.

Now we just have to wait for the entity to reveal itself. Ooooooh!

Probably tomorrow. Probably Unilever.

And so, to finish off, I give you the stunning video I received from Jon C which involves the NSEP, as well as some cycling! It may well cause you to choke from laughter.

So, you know, be careful..

It’s SO awesome!

It’s like SO now!

“Kudos” obsessives will definitely give the audacious driver of this Vespa “kudos” for his/her parking ON Camps Bay beach .

It is SO brazen, SO radical and SO brilliantly rude, that we should do nothing but stand and applaud.

In the words of Montell Jordan..

“THIS IS HOW WE DO IT!”

Stand up from whatever you’re doing and wherever you are and give a little clap.

Do it now.

God, that was good.

One must ask the question, “is this not the best parking spot in the world?”

[thanks andrew]

It had to happen. After many years of stoned Capetonian antics and the general “park anywhere” mentality, The V&A Waterfront security team have had enough and are now, surprisingly, clamping vehicles who park “in the middle of nowhere.”

“Middle of nowhere” parking is now an offence
“Oh my God! It’s like you can’t do ANYTHING anymore!”

Gone are the days you could just drive into the Waterfront and stop and park when it felt good – now they actually want you to FIND a parking spot and drive INTO IT.

I know. Bastards.

Next thing they’re going to force us to queue.

It’s going to be a big change, but I’m sure we will manage.

[thanks ryan]

I must admit I have NEVER come across these things before, so I’ll let Mano run you through them:

Hey Seth,

Just as Crocs wind down I find these guys.

 

VERY naughty!

 

Some oke was wearing these at the UCT match just now. Normal as ever. Just standing there watching. As if nothing was any bit out of the ordinary. “Whats the score” someone asks, “UCT’s up by 5, but they gonna be playing against this wind in the second half” he replies.

Normal right? Wrong.

Have a look at the shoes. (i imagined putting the picture here, but dont know how). They a cross between those toe socks (i’m sure you imagining the ones) and booties.

Not sure what kind of protection they have underneath, but i like to believe none, and he steps on a big piece of glass on the way out. the cheek..

cheers man

Mano from ct

ps, if you use this pic in next couple of days, maybe you can gooi in “happy bday guns muller”, he enjoys the blog and has big muscles.

Jesus, Mano, rather you than me, bud.

I hope I never come across those bad boys and can categorically declare that they are an absolute no-no. You certainly wouldn’t find anything like this in, say, Fabiani ..

What is this, kindergarten?

It seems we can no longer communicate using words and the latest vibe for leaders of the world is to pull faces. This stunning comparison, showing the covers of today’s Cape Times and Business Day broadsheets, is case in point.

The Dalai Lama pretends to be the devil
Whilst JZ just gives a general “fuck you”

Aah, [wipes eyes] that’s just great!

I did enjoy that.

[thanks kate]

I trust everyone has seen the Nando’s ad for Joost? I put it up two days ago (here) and still received it 20 times yesterday in my inbox (could we please address this issue, friends).

So anyway, someone has mocked-up ANOTHER Nando’s ad, addressed to Joost van der Westhuizen’s wife, Amor. This one is clearly a fake, but as I’m sure we all agree, there are pros and cons for both fake AND real.

Naughty.

Very good, but naughty.

[thanks dale]

While the Vaal Dam is pretty impressive, Table Mountain is the only local landmark that has made the second round of the “New 7 Wonders of the World.” And by “second round” I mean 261 magnificent natural sites from 222 countries.

Oh, I’ve just noticed that they’re all natural… That’s probably why the Vaal Dam isn’t there. That makes sense, now. Jeez, I was about to say! [blushes]

Anyway, check this out:

Probably the most awesome photo you have ever seen
Enjoy the Green Point Superbowl in the foreground

South Africans have until July 7 to vote for Table Mountain in the global race to name the New 7 Wonders of Nature. The country’s most famous mountain needs an injection of votes to secure its spot as one of the world’s top wonders.

The New7Wonders Foundation in Zurich, Switzerland announced in January 2009 that Table Mountain was one of 261 magnificent natural sites from 222 countries to have made it through to the second round in this global race to name the New 7 Wonders of Nature.

Other iconic African natural sites to come through the first round include the Kalahari Desert, the Great Rift Valley, the Avenue of Baobabs, Lake Tanganyika, the Kafue National Park and Victoria Falls.

The New 7 Wonders of Nature will be determined by votes from the public and South Africans and fans from outside of our borders can show their support for the Mother City’s majestic mountain by visiting www.votefortablemountain.com and casting their vote.

Voting to select the top 77 sites runs until July 7 this year. Thereafter a panel of experts will select the 21 finalists – these will be announced on July 21 when the third and final phase of voting will begin. The official New 7 Wonders of Nature will be revealed in 2011.

More than 1 billion votes are forecast. To cast your vote for Table Mountain visit www.votefortablemountain.com Contact the Cableway on 021 424 0015 for information.

I think that is all quite clear?

I should also tell you that we need to be in the Top 11 to qualify for the next round… and we are sitting at 29!

Was does that tell you? EXACTLY – CLICK HERE with great urgency and CAST YOUR VOTE! And this is not just for Capetonians, this is for SOUTH AFRICA. Come on, gang! Get involved!

Today is the last days of voting for the 2009 South African Blog Awards. It’s a great opportunity for those of you out there that haven’t voted, to do your thing. It is the only way to keep 2oceansvibe going. I can almost guarantee you that if you don’t vote, 2oceansvibe will be no more.

And, just in case you wanted some kind of incentive, here is the video I published just last week, telling you exactly what I will do, should 2oceansvibe win the best overall blog.

Oh, you missed that, did you? Don’t panic, here it is again:

Would you like that?

Ja, I bet you would.

Seth in a thong on a scooter, up and down the Camps Bay strip, in front of Caprice..

Only you can make it happen.

CLICK HERE TO CAST YOUR VOTE

** REMEMBER YOUR VOTE IS NOT CAST UNTIL YOU CLICK THE CONFIRMATION LINK IN THE EMAIL THEY SEND YOU ** IF YOU HAVEN’T DONE THAT THEN YOU HAVEN’T VOTED **

I’m so stoked. The South African Department of Home Affairs obviously believe that pinching yourself is not enough. They have very cleverly released an incredibly useful new online verification service, which let’s you type in your ID number and find out if you’re dead or alive! I know – how awesome?

Of course I’m not joking! It says, “To verify your ID status, please enter your ID number.” Brilliant!

Check it out!

CLICK HERE to check if you are dead or alive

It’s about time – I had a feeling I was living some kind of dream – and now I find out everything is REAL! I popped in my ID number and look!

I’M ALIVE!!!

Wow! Thank God for that!

It’s SUCH a useful tool. Very handy if you find yourself at the receiving end of a witch hunt, with the community out to get you, claiming you are some kind of a demon.

Does that ever happen to you? I get it a lot. Well don’t panic – that’s what Home Affairs is there for!

Simply take them (when they catch you) to this website, type in your ID number and show them the result.

Done!

Unless, of course, you are dead….?

[thanks james]

Whilst I am certainly 100% behind this cause, I must say, I’m also very excited to actually WITNESS us pulling it off. And by “us,” I mean “the world.” That’s what they’re aiming for; you realise that, right? The whole WORLD is turning off the lights for one hour on March 28. Because of varying time zones, each city in the world has been given the exact time they should do it, so that it all happens AT THE SAME TIME!!! How radical is that? 1 billion people in more than 1000 cities worldwide ! And it’s not something that might happen, it is happening.

Before reading on, just make a note in your diary NOW. Lights out from 20h30 to 21h30 on 28 March (Saturday).

SICK!

It’s organised by the WWF (World Wildlife Fund – www.earthhour.org) and they’ve even got major landmarks around the world, turning off their lights; including (among others) Times Square (NYC), Christ the Redeemer statue (Brazil), Auckland Sky Tower (New Zealand), Sydney Opera House (Australia), Symphony of Lights (Hong Kong), Tivoli Gardens (Copenhagen), Eiffel Tower (France) and Table Mountain, baby! Right here in Cape Town!

Add your own home to that list, because we ALL need to get involved!

Check this out:

Earth Hour 2009 is a global initiative by the World Wide Fund for Nature which acts as a worldwide call to action to every individual, business and community to take a stand against Climate Change. To show your support, sign up now and commit to switching off your lights for one hour on Saturday, March 28th at 8:30pm. Originating in Sydney, Australia in 2007, the Earth Hour initiative proved more than worthwhile when it witnessed 2 million people coming together to switch off their lights for one hour for this vital cause.

Following on from this success, 2008 saw an estimated 50 million people taking part. Global landmarks such as the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, Rome’s Colosseum and the Coca Cola billboard in Times Square, all stood in darkness, as symbols of hope for a cause that grows more urgent by the hour.

This year, 2009, Earth Hour will see the lights go out on some of the most recognised attractions on the planet, including Cape Town’s Table Mountain, Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro, Merlion in Singapore, Sydney Opera House, the iconic 6-star hotel, the Burj al Arab, in Dubai, Millennium Stadium in Cardiff and the world’s tallest constructed building, the Taipei 101.

Earth Hour 2009 has one major aim: to unite the citizens of the world in the fight against climate change in order to convince governments and world leaders that our planet cannot wait any longer. There simply isn’t enough time, and therefore 2009 is a colossally important, if not the most critical year, to take action on climate change. 2009 is the year we decide the future of our planet.

Very, very cool.

Get involved, gang.

CLICK HERE, sign up and let’s DO this thing!

Nobel peace laureate and Richard Gere’s best mate, The Dalai Lama, is “very disappointed” by South Africa’s decision denying him a visa to enter South Africa. This, following intense pressure from China, who despise His Holiness.

I really must apologise, bru – if we had anything to do with it, you know you’d get a free pass.

News24 reports : The Dalai Lama had planned to join other Nobel peace laureates at a conference to discuss ways of using football to fight racism and xenophobia ahead of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

The Dalai Lama
Stop for a second and appreciate
whoever it was that asked him
for his autograph. Awesome!

Whilst it certainly is incredibly emboerrissing, I did get a surprise when I saw “Dalai Lama” and “visa” in the same sentence. You just kind of always think the Dalai Lama just appears, without having to use general modes of transports; certainly above any kind of red tape or stamp approval. I mean, have you SEEN where he LIVES?

The Dalai Lama’s pad - Potala Palace
(Or, at least it was, until he fled
to India – thanks danny)

They obviously missed this bit on Wikipedia : The Dalai Lama is believed to be the current incarnation of a long line of Tulkus, or Buddhist Masters, who have become exempt from the wheel of death and rebirth. These ascended masters have chosen of their own free will to be reborn to this place in order to enlighten others.

He is “exempt from the wheel of death and rebirth” and you won’t give him a fucking visa? That’s like Tiger-Tiger asking to see John Smit ‘s stamp. It’s not going to happen, buddy – it’s the Springbok Captain, for God’s sake! Different, but quite similar – given that Smit (The Barndog ) is a man of peace.

And now (don’t mess with my) Tutu and FW de Klerk are boycotting the conference and the Dalai Lama is very disappointed with us!

Nice, guys! You’re created, what we in the industry refer to as, a “fuckshow.”

Shot.

(It should be placed on record that 2oceansvibe is seriously considering adding The Dalai Lama to The 2oceansvibe Characters List as “The Holy Guy.”)

Those of you who know and understand the orgasmic flavoursome proportions of Rotherham-diet-approved Daim (also called “Dime” in some countries) chocolates, have probably been sharing the pain that has been running through my body for the last few months.

I had a fix for a while, after receiving this incredible bag of mini-Daims from Los Angeles, from The Advertising Guy and The Italian.

A bag of mind-fucks

They used to be stocked at the usual boutique deli outfits, like Carlucci’s and Giovanni’s and then, amazingly, even the Friendly Store in Camps Bay. But then stocks started drying up and it was only Sweets From Heaven at the V&A Waterfront who had them.

Now…. there is nothing.

NOTHING!!!! I have been asking the people at Giovanni’s what the problem is and for MONTHS they have given it the big, “our supplier can’t get them anymore.” Hmm, not good enough, I’m afraid. FAIL.

I finished the aforementioned bag of Daims and removed it from my mind. I closed that box in my head and packed it away. I pretended everything was fine and I seemed to be managing ok.

That was until The Italian emailed me this picture, with the subject “DIE!” – confirming that she had bought it and would be reporting back..

Made with DAIM CHOCOLATE!
WHAT!!! I can’t take it any longer..

OH MY GOD!

CAN

YOU

IMAGINE??

It’s just too much. I can’t take it anymore. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM, PEOPLE!?!?!? I would like to give anyone out there a little tip off. You could charter a jet with bags of these chocolates on board, fly them to Cape Town and sell them for R100 a chocolate and I swear to God they will all be sold. I’ll even write a free article for you.

Just do it.

Please.

Someone!

For God’s sake!

We’re pretty passionate about cellphone rules (check out article Latest Cellphone Rules), here at 2oceansvibe and have even included them in our Cape Town Rules section of the site.

Following on from that article, I have noticed more and more people struggling with private numbers. I’ve found that some people are still unable to ignore them, fuelled with the fear that the call might be important and the person at the other end might not leave a message and the “opportunity” might be missed. This is a possibility – a possibility which can easily be fixed by educating the caller.

You need to EXPLAIN the rules to the callers

The only reason people with private numbers piss you off, is because they keep on phoning and refuse to leave a message. How are they to know that you don’t answer private numbers? Banks and the rest of the annoying ones will keep on calling until you answer – that is what they’re told to do. UNLESS you put some new rules in front of them , which they have no option BUT to follow. Otherwise, I swear to God, it is NEVER going to stop..

It’s not cool to live like that – you’re on holiday, REMEMBER?!

These rules need to be stated in your voicemail. Simple instructions which have been created for every scenario and every caller type. These rules are also very handy for friends who might be terribly offended, should you tell them to their face; but the fact that it is a general voicemail message for everyone, avoids this sensitive issue.

The madness stopped dead in it’s tracks the day I changed my voicemail message to this:

Hi sorry I couldn’t take your call.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If you don’t leave a message I won’t call you back.
If I don’t know your number and you call again, I still won’t answer.
If you do leave a message that does not state the purpose of your call
..or does not make sense, I’m afraid I won’t be phoning you back.
I suggest then that you either send a text message, or email me.
Thanks.
Bye.

You like that? You see what I did there? And did you enjoy that part about “the purpose of your call?” – it’s so awesome. Now, if you run into someone who moans that you didn’t call them back, you can simply tell them that “I need to pick your brain” is NOT stating the purpose of the call. Saved again by your new voicemail message!

Then what you do is you call your service provider (0821082 for Vodacom) and tell them to turn on the “Spinvox” voicemail-to-text function which converts your voicemails into a text message (R49/month). No, I am not bullshitting you – this is a very real thing. Then, any voicemail message that is left on your phone gets converted into a text message (after a couple minutes) and you can READ what the person SAID in the message. It’s pretty incredible and it works. When they read out numbers it comes out in the text written as an actual number so you can just click the number to call them back.

Oh my God, this is a LIVE TEST: My phone is ringing right this second with a number showing – but a number I do not know.

The ringing has stopped and the voicemail is being read to the strange caller.

Standing by.

They’ve left a message.

[2 minutes later] It has been converted into a text message. A detailed message. With a number.

It’s someone I don’t want to speak to. A salesman type person.

I leave it.

Case closed.

Next..

Camps Bay
Cape Town
15h45
20 March, 2009

Fine!

Hey! Check it out! 2oceansvibe’s official local beer, Jack Black Beer, have just launched an uber cool new box! Not to be confused with a Jack in the Box, or Justin Timberlake’s Dick in a Box, this is a sleek new black box with 24 premium beers inside.

Sexy, almost evil..
Jack Black Beer in the new box!

Besides from keeping the beers cooler (say no to sunlight), and looking a lot sexier, the box also has easy-to-carry handles! Just ask Mavis, she carries them from the garage up to The Safe House every week! For you it means easier carrying from the liquor store to your car/scooter (can fit nicely under your feet!).

I think I also forgot to mention that the Jack Black Beer recipe is EVER improving and, as a result, it’s pretty fucking perfect at the moment, as the beer is finally being brewed right here in Cape Town (rather than just outside Hermanus, before). Less transport = better beer quality. FACT.

Jack Black Beer
Touch yourself..

Boxes retail at R150 (R6.25 a beer, it’s a Jerry Oke!) - During this so called “recession” what more do you want than a few of these puppies around the house with your mates climbing in!

Come on, man! They’re BUILT for Super 14!

CLICK HERE to see the Jack Black Beer website and find out where they are available. Go to the “Find Us” section.

CLICK HERE to see Titanic actor, Billy Zane, showing us how to open a bottle of Jack Black Beer.