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Cape Town Hotels

WEDNESDAY MORNING SPICE

1.09.2010


image_hotel_exterior_frontview_1.jpg
Cape Town’s Westin Grand Hotel
Blacklisted by the United States

US Blacklists “Westin Grand” Hotel In Cape Town – A five-star Cape Town hotel has been blacklisted by the US consulate in the city after allegations of “multiple theft reports” from US officials staying there. The hotel, the Westin Grand, is next to the Cape Town International Convention Centre. It should be noted that this is not my residence, the Cape Royale hotel, which is also 5-stars and also happens to have one of only 3 genuine concierges in South Africa (only 3,000 on earth). [timeslive] [post-publish update - the ban seems to have been lifted]

Federer’s Incredible Shot Wows US Open Fans - You got to see this! The legend of Roger Federer continues! In his first-round matchup last night at the US Open, Federer (for the second year in a row) made an incredible, between-the-legs shot against Argentina’s Brian Dabul that sent the sell-out crowd at Arthur Ashe Stadium to its feet. For the five-time US Open champion Federer, it was just another addition onto an already massive career highlight reel. [wired]

Pakistan Cricket Fans Burn Posters Of Alleged Match Fixers (Images) - Pakistani cricket fans burned posters of Pakistani cricket players during a protest condemning them for their alleged involvement in match fixing, in Lahore, Pakistan on Tuesday, Interior Minister Rehman Malik wants to wait for an initial British police report into allegations of match fixing involving Pakistan cricketers before sending an investigation team to England. Palcard reads “Down with Chairman of PCB Ijaz Butt). [newshopper]

France Doesn’t Dig The Iranians Calling The First Lady A Whore - France said on Tuesday that insults in the Iranian media against first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, who has been branded an “Italian prostitute” who “deserves death”, are unacceptable. “The insults in the daily Kayhan and Iranian websites against French figures, including Mrs Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, are unacceptable,” Foreign Ministry spokesperson Bernard Valero said. Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton could not be reached for comment. [mail&guardian]

iPhone Saving Lives – Fact – More than three million doctors have downloaded an iPhone app which is replacing the stethoscope in UK hospitals. The iStethoscope app, created by Peter Bentley at University College London, was originally developed as nothing more than a toy. But now more than 500 users a day are downloading the free version of the application which experts say has already saved lives. [dailymail]

Video of Girl Throwing Puppies in a River Causes Social Media Uproar - A video of a young girl throwing several puppies into a river has caused a huge social media backlash on sites like 4chan and Facebook. The backlash is similar to the Cat Bin Lady, skandaal which hit the net last month. Similarly, some members of 4chan started a campaign to find out the identity of the girl, while a related Facebook group has gathered more than 3,000 members in a little more than a day. [mashable]

Lindsay Lohan Reveals “New” Lindsay In Vanity Fair - In a revealing new interview, Lindsay Lohan details the infamous antics that landed her in jail — but insists that her wild-child days are behind her. “I was irresponsible. And I’m not making excuses,” the 24-year-old star tells Vanity Fair in its latest issue, set to hit newsstands this week with this sensationally sexy photo. What about the court-ordered, drug and alcohol counseling sessions she skipped? [newyorkpost]

Zara Goes Online! - Europe’s largest clothing retailer, Spain’s Inditex, is taking its flagship Zara brand online, but it can expect stiff competition from other giants of high-street fashion already well-established in cyberspace. Zara’s virtual boutique will be available on Thursday in selected European markets: Spain, Germany, France, Italy, Portugal and Britain. [luxuo]

Wyclef Jean Lashes Out In Song – When Wyclef Jean released his new single, not many in the U.S. could figure out what it was all about. The hip-hop star sings it in Haitian Creole. But translated, the song reveals an angry Jean attacking the electoral council that disqualified him from running for president of Haiti, accusing the current head of state of being a deceptive “Lucifer” who betrayed him, and urging the country’s citizens to “remain mobilized.” [newsweek]

Oxford To Phase Our Printed Oxford Dictionary - It weighs in at more than 130 pounds, but the authoritative guide to the English language, the Oxford English Dictionary, may eventually slim down to nothing. Oxford University Press, the publisher, said Sunday so many people prefer to look up words using its online product that it’s uncertain whether the 126-year-old dictionary’s next edition will be printed on paper at all. [associated]

Meet Calvin Klein’s 20-Year-Old Underwear Model Boyfriend - Klein, 67, was first photographed with the blond boytoy as early as May and the pair have since been seen at a number of movie premieres and charity events in Manhattan and the Hamptons. Last week, Page Six ran a picture in the paper’s print edition of the two men walking in Manhattan and described Gruber as Klein’s “partner.” Looks like they know something about their relationship that we don’t. [gawker]

Oval Office Gets A Makeover - When President Barack Obama addresses the nation on Iraq Tuesday night, his Oval Office setting will be sporting a new look – and one that pays homage to Martin Luther King Jr. and four previous presidents. While the president and his family were away on vacation in Martha’s Vineyard, workers installed new wallpaper, a new rug, new sofas, lamps and a coffee table. [associated]

Miranda Kerr On Vogue 3D Cover - Miranda Kerr nabbed the September Vogue Italia cover, which is her first. Shot by Steven Meisel, the cover and its accompanying editorial is in 3D. Kerr’s Yorkie puppy, Frankie, shares the honors. Who can argue with a puppy? Especially a Yorkie. I was raised on Yorkies. Not eating them – I mean we had a squadron of little beasts running around the house. [jezebel]

Blair’s Book To Become Biggest Political Memoir Of All Time - Tony Blair’s autobiography, A Journey, is set to become the biggest political memoir of all-time, according to Amazon.co.uk. Pre-orders of the book have outstripped those for Lord Mandelson’s memoir, The Third Man by 36 per cent. Experts at Amazon claim it is set to overtake the former Business Secretary’s sales figures once it is released on Wednesday. [telegraph]

Today Is Spring Day, Did You Know That? We figured it might have slipped your mind. So we’ve done you a favour, and to forever mark the occasion in your mind, 2oceansvibe Radio will celebrate the day with one Robert B. Skinstad, esq., as well as 2oceansvibe Character and in-house music connoisseur, G-Man. Oh yes, we may have forgotten the small matter of the twins. What twins, you ask? The self-same lovely twins who’ll be in studio, in bikinis, getting us in to spring. Tune in to the Spring time holiday. [1-click tune-in at 2ov.fm]

2OV-Radio-Button2.jpg



  

THE FULL “SETH SONG” (AND LYRICS) BY I SCREAM & THE CHOCOLATE STIX

11.08.2010

We’re pretty blown away by the response to the “Seth Song” we’ve been playing fairly regularly, over at 2oceansvibe Radio. It’s not only a damn funny tune, but I tell you what – it’s got the heads bopping too! Apparently The Assembly lost their minds to it last Saturday!

The guys behind the tune are none other than I Scream And The Chocolate Stix – the same guys who gave you the sensational online viral tune My Cape Town.

People LOVE that tune – including the likes of Helen Zille, I might add!

So anyway, we’ve had a number of requests for the lyrics of the Seth Song. And here theyt are – along with an online recording of the tune.

Press the orange play button below.

Enjoy!

I-SCREAM.jpg


THE SETH SONG
by I Scream & The Chocolate Stix
Alright you bloody naartjies
Lets get going you bloody fruits and everything
2oceansvibe got chip baskets and polony
We are killing it k-k-k-kiling it k-k-k-killing it
Back to back hear them often say
Listen to Seth Rotherham it’s a holiday
That’s right workin 9 – 5 he don’t care
He’s already walking around like who dat der?
That’s right 2oceansvibe getting heavy vandag
Singing up, crackin jokes whilst we having a lag
The place to be at if you feel like a jol
The kinda party SETH throws? you wont remember at all
Damn it Seth – Moenie man
Ever thought of maybe sharing a couple ladies with us
Damn it Seth – WHAT?
You must be an alien from a different planet other suns
Yeah baby got the team and the entourage
Callin come on chameleON under camoflauge
Sabotage, barge up your avalanche – c’mon
Now get your grannies and your step moms – PSYCHE
Now get the hot chicks with long legs and little dogs
We got the fresh styles going fucking little arms
2oceansvibe baby
2oceansvibe baby
We got the fresh styles
We got the fresh styles
The Godzilla blogsta
Dot com mobsta
Chicks lick iscream chocstick Rock stars
Gotcha
Cape Town parties hard
Face down la-di-dha
Wiggling giggling
From the parking lot
Seth im gonna call the cops (Neighbour shouts)
Meth-ods are unorthodox
Next best thing jet set, hot off the charts
Hotel lobby rooftop lardie
2oceansvibe – we gonna have a PARTY!
He so hot (Sexy girls)
I think he burnt the cables (Sound engineer guy)
Tables turn when he turns those tables
Oi geezer are you the muse pleaser?
Cause she’s about to blow like the south Easter
All u other stations Nina Na hlanja
Playing little games like banyana banyana
I tune your dial as I dial your tune
Seth Rotherham
Just stepped in room
Jump into the vibe
2oceans vibe is the future baby
Jump into the vibe
It’s the future future
Work is a sideline living up the holiday
Annihilate, by the way this is where we GYrate!!!!!!!!! [music stops}
Now feel the VIBE penetrating through your neighbourhood
The type of guy that u'll find in the Huisgenoot?
Who's VIBEing ""touch yourself"
Its Jack Black beer, Sunglass HUT - yeah we touhed it down!
Which reminds me.. scandal Randall! No offence, but
That mouth likes to babble babble!! You got dissed horribly badly
and then acted all natural, and as for Brendan Seery... U an asshole!!
Both of u talk kak.. why you wanna do that for?
Screw that.. get the weed [or bleep] out of my dashboard!!
Dedication from the David Hasselhoff man
we popping Boshendal bubble champagne
Vespa, Butlers named him a pizza,
Cape quarter live broadcast on the picture!
Heat, Top billing, ELLE winning all the blog awards
Covers on a magazine “waar die fok is hy vandaan”
Good gracious the Safe House is so spacious
Hearing all the angels say… He’s so dangerous-
Like Kim Jong I reckon..
If you like the vibe go out now and buy the record!!!
They call him Rotherham
I rather call him Rother-ham
Sandwiched between 2 oceans and a party plan
Friday is my day (Cheering voice)
Cape Royal 5star, penthouse sky bar, camps bay –Jaguar
2bottles of Don Perry, now he’s driving my car
Come on Seth ok give back my I POD
I PHONE Skinstad ‘told you got the right blog’ (friend voice)
Meet up at Vida e caprice got nice blondes
Music is Marshall, baby pull up your bar stool
This is De Grendal wine if anyone asks you
Drink the energy out of your Pussy can part 2
This is not an ad, this is no commercial (Announcer voice)
If Seth had his way 2 oceans would go universal
Living in a bubble Choc stix will burst you
Puma tight grip don’t slip strangle verse 2
Speed dial the Dirty skirts and chicks with no curfew
Jump into the vibe
2oceans vibe is the future baby
Jump into the vibe
It’s the future future
I scream choc stix
Yeah we toastin
Who’s got the vibe? Seth Roth 2oceans
Pockets loaded hotbox your dot coms
Sign in baby if you wanna be rockstar



  

GORDON EFFING RAMSAY IS GETTING EFFING LITIGATED

5.08.2010

So we wrote recently about Gordon Ramsay making an ever so slightly unceremonious exit from Cape Town, and specifically, the One & Only hotel.

Needless to say, The Big Bad Potty Mouth and his cronies are slightly upset about this. I mean, it must leave a little bit of a sting to be tossed out on your ass, for whatever reason.

And the reasons for his exit have been widely speculated, but we’re a little closer to the truth now that the legal dogs of war have been loosed.

CLICK HERE for the LAW, baby



  

WEDNESDAY MORNING SPICE

4.08.2010


dd3bdccb05a188eebb6f6697e8fba4d3.jpg
Professional Crook, Jackie Selebi, Leaves Court
After Being Sentenced To 15 Years In Jail

Jackie Selebi Gets 15 Years Behind Bars – Opposition parties have welcomed the 15-year jail sentence handed down to former police national commissioner Jackie Selebi on Tuesday. Selebi was found guilty on charges of corruption for accepting money from convicted drug trafficker Glenn Agliotti while he was the chief of the South African Police Service and president of Interpol. Judge Meyer Joffe called Selebi “an embarrassment to SA.” I’ll second that. [mail&guardian]

Eminem Blocks Tom Jones From Becoming Oldest UK Chart Topper Ever – Sir Tom Jones has missed out on the number one slot in the album chart, with his record Praise And Blame going in at number two. The 70-year-old is bidding to become the oldest male musician to have a UK number one album, but failed to dislodge Recovery by US rapper Eminem. Sir Tom is trying to take the crown from Bob Dylan, whose album went to number one in the UK in 2009 at the age of 67. [yahoo]

Art world goes mad for Britain’s ‘Mini Monet’ – His paintings fetch thousands and attract buyers from all over the world. But while his watercolours, pastels and oil paintings hint at a talent honed through decades of practice, Kieron Williamson is barely halfway through primary school. The seven-year-old prodigy sold his latest collection of paintings for £150,000 at the weekend, with all 33 works sold in just 30 minutes. That’s close on R2 million. He should put that in his piggy bank. [dailymail]

Morpheus Angry About Daughter’s Sex Tape – In a surprise move, it seems Laurence Fishburne is upset with his daughter’s decision to publish her own porno sex tape. His daughter reckons, “I heard that he’s mad at me, but I haven’t spoken to him yet. I feel pretty confident that I can work things out with him. I think he wants to support me in everything I do, and though he sees this now as a negative, I believe in time he will view it as a positive.” Yes, of course he will. Dad’s dig strangers seeing their daughters’ vaginas. [popeater]

Another Yank Loses The Plot And Kills Co-Workers – Nine people are dead in a workplace shooting at a family-owned beer and wine wholesaler, police said. Sources said Omar S. Thornton, 34, was a driver for Hartford Distributors and was described by a Teamsters Union official as a recent hire and a “disciplinary problem.” I’ll say. Thornton shot a number of people and then shot himself with a .223 caliber semiautomatic rifle as police approached and is dead, sources said. [latimes]

Lady Gaga Admits Using Cocaine Occasionally – Lady GaGa has said that she takes cocaine “maybe a couple of times a year”. However, despite speaking openly about her “occasional” use of the drug, the singer warned her fans not to copy her, saying: “I do not want my fans to ever emulate that or be that way.” She also said she was “quite celibate”, adding that she’s worried that if she sleeps with someone she’ll lose her songwriting talent. Don’t worry babe, we don’t want to sleep with you. [nme]

“Heroes” Creator Tim Kring Discusses ‘Transmedia’ & The Future of Television – In a world where a single TV or laptop screen can no longer contain a worthwhile story, one man dares to spill his epic across multiple platforms. “Heroes had an underlying message about inter-connectivity and global consciousness,” says show creator and writer Tim Kring. “I think we used the phrase ‘we are all connected’ at least 100 times in the first season alone. It’s a message I’m very interested in putting out in the world.” [fastcompany]

Online Threat To Media Tribunal – Online media could thwart the ruling party’s plan to launch a media tribunal that would oversee the content of local publications. The ANC recently released a discussion document on the media in SA, which included the recommendation that a media tribunal be established to regulate the industry. Sadly for them, regulating what is published on the Internet through news blogs etc. would be extremely difficult to police.. [itweb]

Sandra Bullock Is The Highest Paid Actress – and far between, and their paychecks are usually smaller than their male co-stars’. It seems that no number of female-centric hits (like Mamma Mia and Sex and the City) can convince studios to treat the ladies better.And if you’re a woman over 40, you might as well just play a grandma. The roles are even scarcer. But last year Sandra Bullock bucked the trend in a big way. [forbes]

Luxottica Adds A Touch Of Disney To Eyewear Shopping – A wind tunnel. A concierge. A store that’s shaped like an eyeball. It doesn’t exactly sound like an eyeglasses retailer, but then, it’s not supposed to. Luxottica, the $6.6 billion eyewear company with retail outlets like Sunglass Hut and LensCrafters, is experimenting with a concept store that draws a little bit from Apple, and a lot from Disneyland. Very cool! [newyorktimes]

Teleportation Is Basically Just Around The Corner – It’s a tongue-twister, and it can get messy, but “quantum entanglement” may one day make it possible to teleport people across the galaxy faster than the speed of light. And it won’t happen like Star Trek, with people beaming from one place to another. Rather, it involves quantum mechanics in which atoms in different places can take on the properties of the other. [newser]

Local Foodie Blog Right Up Your Alley – It’s not often a new local blog gets me excited. “Confessions Of A Hungry Woman” had me at the intro picture. Written by famed foodie, Sam Woulidge, she reveals, “Perhaps the answer does NOT lie in dieting. Perhaps at age 40 (and a bit), I should begin to honour my body ( in whatever shape it is) and make peace with food. See food as my friend. A delicious, delectable friend. And not some two-faced frenemy whom I profess to love, but secretly fear.” Brilliant! [coahw]

Pamper Yourself Or Your Babe – A lot of people think I might use Maybelline, others think I’m born with it. But the truth is I spend time at Equinox spa – it’s in the Cape Royale hotel after all – so why wouldn’t I? And check this out, they’re doing a promotion at the moment: Aromatherapy foot compress; back, neck & shoulder massage; aromatherapy hand compress, facial & head massage + parking for only R580. Please, give me a break – it’s too easy! [equinox]

Cape Town Winter Specials – Cape Town is a spectacular city to visit in all seasons and in winter, the spotlight falls on the senses: the Mother City is the perfect place to relax and unwind, be wined and dined or be pampered and entertained in style. Cape Town winters are quintessentially cool and can be loads of decadent fun if you’re privy to the secrets of the season. Visitors who came to the city for the 2010 World Cup discovered just how much there to do on the Peninsula and beyond in June and July – and now you can too! [capetowntourism]

[thanks dad, justin, andy]



  

GORDON RAMSAY’S EFFING RESTAUARANT, MAZE, SHUTS THE EFF DOWN IN CAPE TOWN

2.08.2010

When Sol Kerzner enlisted the expertise of the man who is arguably the world’s most popular chef, Gordon Ramsay, he would have felt confident that the star food aspect of his monstrous V&A Waterfront hotel, the One and Only, was buttoned tight.

Gordon Effin’ Ramsay opened the five star Maze restaurant at the hotel, but alas, without the mouth-cannon himself in regular attendance at the restaurant (he has a number of other Maze branches dotted across the globe), the masses saw no particularly pressing reason to avail themselves of the establishment’s fine fare.

JUST EFFIN’ CLICK HERE



  

MONDAY MORNING SPICE

26.07.2010


Pilot Ejects Before Jet Crashes & Explodes – This reminds me of when Goose died. Maverick and Goose had to eject when their plane went into a “flat spin.” Only Goose ejected into the cockpit canopy and was killed immediately. The pilot of the plane in the video above was very lucky to survive, as he ejected just before the plane hit the ground. This happened at an air show in Canada this weekend. Hectique! [skynews]

Alberto Contador Wins Third Tour de France – Alberto Contador of Spain claimed his third Tour de France title on Sunday as seven-time champion Lance Armstrong made his final exit from the race.The 27-year-old Contador stayed safe in the main bunch as the last stage, over 102.5 kilometers from Longjumeau, was won by Mark Cavendish for the second year in a row. Did I mention Tom Cruise was there as well? Oh ja, fully. [latimes]

Video Of Catholic Priests Partying At Gay Club Has Church “Troubled” – Yes, it will do. Using a hidden camera, an Italian magazine owned by Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi caught three Catholic priests inside a gay nightclub and having sex inside a church building. “Those who live a ‘double life’, who do not understand what it is to be a Catholic priest, should not become priests,” the diocese said in a statement. Well that’s fair enough. [gawker]

BP’s CEO Steps Down – Tony Hayward, the embattled chief executive of BP, has agreed to step down and be replaced by Robert Dudley, the company’s most senior American executive who is now in charge of BP’s operations in the Gulf of Mexico, according to a person close to the company’s board. The decision has already been made by mutual agreement between Mr. Hayward and senior BP management. Tony must be counting down the days.. [nytimes]

The US & South Korea Play War Games As Kim Threatens Nukes – The United States and South Korea launched a major naval exercise involving a nuclear-powered U.S. aircraft carrier in the Sea of Japan despite North Korea’s threats of nuclear retaliation. The war games — which began on Sunday — is the first in a series intended “to send a clear message to North Korea that its aggressive behaviour must stop.” Kim won’t dig that. He won’t dig that at all. [natpost]

Steve Tyler Opens Up About Rehab And The Band’s Future – The last time Aerosmith played an American show, things didn’t go so well. At a gig in South Dakota in 2009, frontman Steven Tyler fell off the stage while singing “Love In An Elevator,” causing him to break his shoulder and get a gash in his head — and forcing Aerosmith to cancel the rest of their tour. As Tyler recovered, the band threatened to hire a new singer and told the press they suspected Tyler was back on drugs. [rollingstone]

World’s Strongest Beer Served Using Dead Animals – The stunt has been condemned by animal rights groups as “cheap marketing tactics”. Twelve bottles of The End Of History ale have been made and placed inside seven dead stoats, four squirrels and one hare. And at 55 per cent volume, its makers claim it is the world’s strongest beer. A taxidermist in Doncaster worked on the animals, which were not killed for bottling the new drink, with some having been killed on the roads. [telegraph]

News Of The World Pay Damages To Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie – Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie today accepted undisclosed damages at the high court in London to settle their privacy claim against the News of the World over false allegations that they were separating. They were not present. The News of the World claimed they had visited a divorce lawyer and agreed to divide up their £205m fortune and custody of their six children. Very naughty to tell fibs like that, guys. [guardian]

Techno Stampede Kills 19 People At German “Love Parade” – At least 19 people have been killed in a stampede at the Love Parade dance music festival in the German city of Duisburg, police have said. Police had been trying to stop people reaching the parade area because of overcrowding. But the revellers panicked at a tunnel entrance. About 100 people were also injured, dozens seriously. Personalluy I would never get in the way of any German and his techno. [bbc]

Elton John Animal Farm Musical – Elton John and Lee Hall, who wrote the musical Billy Elliot, are teaming up to create a new show based on George Orwell’s Animal Farm. Lee, who won Olivier and Tony awards for his book and lyrics for the stage Billy Elliot, explained, ‘I’m deep into it, writing songs for pigs and other four-legged friends.’ Hall and his associates have been the movers and shakers behind the project having spent a long time parcelling up the various rights – which at one point brought them up against the CIA! [dailymail]

An End To ChatRoulette Penis Flashers? – Chatroulette has announced that it is going to take steps against the worst offenders on its service, threatening people who expose themselves to minors with the police. The site’s founder said in a message on the site that his company has started to collect evidence and has contacted law enforcement officials about the issue. Not that it will work against guys like Joost van der Westhuizen – who will simply claim that his main chap is smaller than the one in the screenshot. [newteevee]

Goldfish & Ard Matthews Get The Sketchbook Trails Treatment – Taf, the immensely talented oil painter who we have previously featured on 2oceansvibe, continues her amazing journey. This time she has taken on Dom and Dave from Goldfish, as well as Just Jinjer’s Ard Matthews. You’ll remember the radical piece she did of me as a mimed a Celine Dion number at the last “The Vibe” party. [sketchbooktrails]

Beatles Piano Up For Sale – Time for Beatles fans to grab one of the most important pieces of Beatles memorabilia – the piano used by the Beatles when they recorded “Paperback Writer” at London’s Abbey Road studios. The Challen upright piano doesn’t comes in the best of condition, and is covered in cigarette burns and coffee stains, but is a collector’s piece for the vintage value it holds. The piano was also used by Pink Floyd and is expected to fetch more than $152,168. [bornrich]

R99 Beef Wellington Winter Special At 1800˚ Restaurant – Sparkling wine on arrival + 200g Beef fillet Wellington, coated with mushroom duxelles, wrapped in flaky pastry and baked to your satisfaction, served with vegetables and creamy mash potatoes. With complimentary parking thrown in, you don’t really have a reason to miss this famous Cape Town Winter classic! [1800]

Celebrity Twit Pics – Russell Brand becomes the Caped Crusader, Martha Stewart strolls in East Hampton, and Alyssa Milano snuggles with her best friend. Quite exciting, I’m sure you will agree. And that’s before we get into Paris Hilton, Eva Longoria, Jessica Alba, Stefano Gabbana, Sofia Vergara and Ashton Kutcher! What do they get up to on Twitter? [dailybeast]



  

THURSDAY MORNING SPICE

8.07.2010


penelope-famke.jpg
Famke vs Penelope In The 2010 World Cup Final

Famke Janssen Takes On Penelope Cruz In The 2010 World Cup Final – We said goodbye to Germany last night as they were conquered by The Red Fury in Durban. They will have to work harder on their Vorsprung Durch technique before the next World Cup. And so it’s Spain (Penelope Cruz) vs. The Netherlands (Famke Janssen) in the final on Sunday at 20h30, live from Soccer City, Johannesburg! Don’t know about you, but I’ll be at the Cape Royale Sky Bar! Killing it! [bloomberg]

Nicolas Sarkozy In The Middle Of Secret Funding Probe – If it wasn’t enough living with the fact that he took sloppy seconds from Mick Jagger (and Eric Clapton), the French President is now the target of an investigation into allegations that his election campaign was secretly funded by the country’s richest woman (L’Oreal heiress Liliane Bettencourt). Sarkozy reckons France has bigger problems. At just over five foot, he’s probably right. [google]

Local Traffic Cop Caught Doing 274km/h – A traffic officer from Louis Trichardt was arrested after he drove at more than twice the speed limit in his personal Mercedes-Benz over the weekend. Joe Munyai was nabbed near Bandelierkop on the N1 on Saturday morning after he allegedly clocked 274km/h in his Mercedes-Benz C200 Kompressor. This part of the N1 has only single traffic lanes and the speed limit is 120km/h. Twat. [koos]

Mel Gibson Reckons His Ex “Deserved” The Beating She Got – It looks like Mel has admitted beating his ex. New tapes that have surfaced reveal “What kind of a man is that who would hit a woman when she is holding a child in her hands, hitting her twice in the face? What kind of a man is that?” Oksana reportedly cries on tape. Mel’s response: “You know what? You fucking deserved it.” Charming. I wonder if E-TV will stop reruns of Lethal Weapon after this. [huffpo]

Netherlands Porn Star Promises Oral Sex To Twitter Followers If They Win – In a year already featuring odd World Cup promises, porn star Bobbi Eden appears to have outdone her competitors. The Dutch erotic actress wrote on Twitter that she “will give a BJ to all my followers” if the Netherlands wins the soccer tournament this weekend. With 23,000 Twitter followers, I think I know a little girl who’s gonna be very busy! [huffers]

“Traditional Media” Takes Another Knock – The revelation last week that some Cape Town journalists had been in the pockets of politicians is disconcerting because it involves the very people society has entrusted with the role of watchdog against corruption. Surely that can’t be? I mean, I thought that trained journalists automatically had such high levels of “ethics” and “integrity?” Oh my God, the dream is ruined! [timeslive]

Lindsay Lohan’s Fingernails Said “Fuck U” In Court – I know, this is just quite remarkable. I mean why would you tempt fate by even considering the idea of writing the words “Fuck U” on your fingernail, before going to court? It turns out karma played a role that day, as LiLo was sentenced to 90 days in jail. What a knob-end! Are you confused? Just click the link, honey. [ktla]

Manson Family Member Denied Parole – Leslie Van Houten, onetime Manson family member, was sentenced to life in prison for her part in the infamous and brutal LaBianca murders. Van Houten, who is now 60 years old, appeared before a California parole board for the 19th time on Tuesday to plead her case. Any hopes for parole were short lived, however, as the board found that Van Houten “still poses a risk to society.” [associated]

One Third Of Women Aged 18-34 Check Facebook Before Showering – Young women are becoming more and more dependent on social media and checking on their social networks, according to a new study released earlier today by Oxygen Media and Lightspeed Research. In fact, as many as one-third of women aged 18-34 check Facebook when they first wake up, even before they get to the bathroom. Steady-on, girls.. [mashable]

74% Of 2oceansvibe Readers Have a Degree/Diploma – On the subject of statistics, I thought I would divulge some fresh demographics data I received from Nielsen, following a recent 2oceansvibe study. Pretty interesting stuff! Furthermore, it seems 70% of you earn over R20,000 a month, 60% are business owners/professionals/management and 50% of you are aged 24-34! Good for you, you little LSM 12-14’s! [consumerscope]

Rare Hendrix Bootlegs And Demos Go Digital – The past year has seen the release of Jimi Hendrix’s rarity collection Valleys of Neptune and the guitar god’s long-awaited arrival on Rock Band. Now Experience Hendrix has announced 11 bootleg concert recordings and studio instrumental compilations previously issued on Dagger Records are available as digital downloads for the first time. [rollingstone]

Everyone’s Favourite “TaxiJam” Up For Men’s Health Award – Everybody’s favourite local music video website, TaxiJam (they’ve done everyone from Just Jinjer and The Dirty Skirts, to Die Antwoord and Jack Parow), are up for the “Artist” award! Come on 2oceansvibe, this is very much a part of “The Vibe” and we need to lend our support! Follow the link and give them a quick vote! Let’s keep the magic alive! [menshealth]

Catholic Priest Stole $1m And Spent It On Male Escorts – The “word of the Lord” certainly does take a knock when these priests continue getting caught for things like this. I mean why exactly would a man of God steal in the first place? And then spend that money on rent boys? When you should really be focussing on the scriptures..surely? Similar to those cyclists who cycle through red traffic lights – it’s those guys that ruin it for the rest of them and give the sport a bad name. [nydailynews]

Owners Of NoMU Looking For Decent Oven Brand – Well I nearly fell over backwards when I read a recent article on one of our premium sponsor’s blogs. It seems the owners of NoMU foods, Paul and Tracy, have created an opening for a premium oven brand to be showcased in their home! What an opportunity! Especially with the amount of entertainment these guys do! Oh, and did I mention that their newsletter (to 12,000 people) gets photographed there as well? Spread the word! [nomu]

[thanks henk].



  

YOU CAN STAY AT MY PLACE, ARJEN

6.07.2010

No spice, the Dutch soccer team needs a place to stay.

While the Uruguayans were getting an undeserved peaceful night’s sleep in Newlands (despite a small Twitter campaign calling for Capetonians to please “not” blow vuvuzelas and bang drums outside their rooms), the dutchies were bumming around the Cape of Good Hope looking for a place to stay after Dutch team management underestimated the team’s progress in the tournament.

The Dutch Football Association (KNVB) only made reservations in Johannesburg’s Sandton Hilton hotel up until July 5 – and their home from home is now fully booked.

Keep reading if you’re feeling charitable.

Read the rest of this entry »



  

GRAND DADDY HOTEL DROPS THE BALL – AGAIN

22.06.2010

Remember the “alleged” tale of the Grand Daddy Valet who stole a customer vehicle and rolled it 70 kilometres away in Blue Downs?

The Grand Daddy Hotel left a comment on that story. Let’s enjoy it with our morning coffee:

A response to this post from the Grand Daddy:

It is regrettably true that this incident took place. One of our (now ex)staff illegally (and silently) took a guest’s car home to get a change of clothes. The car in question was a Mini Cooper but it is not the one pictured in the blog post – the damages in that picture are a somewhat exaggerated version of the real damage. The staff member has been arrested and criminally charged and the Grand Daddy’s insurers are currently dealing with the situation in order to settle with the car owner.

Okay so, this happened, and Grand Daddy admit the illegality of their staff’s (and therefore their own) actions. Also, the police happen to agree that the valet committed a crime. So this thing is pretty clear cut. Grand Daddy will sort the owner of the car out, right?

Sadly, not all hotels have service at the heart of their business model.

On Friday I got a somewhat troubling email from Rosanne Turner, the owner of the jacked Mini Cooper S, some of which is posted here.

Rosanne picks up with the tragic narrative the day after her car was wrecked by a Grand Daddy employee. As Black Beard would say, “Woe betide thee not to listen, for tharrr be lessons!”

Read the rest of this entry »



  

SKETCHBOOKTRAILS – A JOURNEY IN FINE ART

18.06.2010

“Taf” from Sketchbooktrails contacted me about doing an oil painting of yours truly. I had never had an “oil” done of me and was more than flattered by the gesture – especially since she said she was also doing one of Goldfish (The Blonde and Baby Jesus)

“Sure thing,” I told her. “Do I have to pose or something? ‘Cos if I do it’s gonna be tricky, as I struggle to sit still. Unless maybe I could play with my iPad while we do it?”

“No, no,” she replied. “I’ve got just the picture!”

“Oh…. which one is that?” I enquired, nervously.”

Justifiably so, as it seems she had chosen this picture taken from my on-stage Celine Dion miming session I did with Ard Matthews for “The Vibe” party earlier this year!

God help us all!

But there was nothing to worry about because, as it turns out, this chick’s got talent!

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Baby, think twice…
NO NO NO NOOOO!

We met for a drink at the Cape Royale hotel the other night and I must just say that she is the sweetest angel I have met in a long time. Having held on for as long as possible in Zimbabwe, Taf finally moved here and paid her way through Engineering at UCT by selling paintings. Oh, and she is self-taught. JA, I know – it’s ridiculous. But there is more to her story, which you will learn when you meet her. Her Zim chapter doesn’t even begin to tackle the challenges she has faced and overcome.

“Fattered” doesn’t even begin to describe how knocked-out I am about this. Thank you, Taf, you have a special gift and I think what you’re doing is amazing.

Just to fill you all in,

Sketchbooktrails is the web-based art initiative of the artist, Tafadzwa Mukwashi (Taf). She has recently started work on a collection of 100 portraits entitled “Facing a Century” with the first of the portraits being of the music duo, Dominic Peters and David Poole of the world renowned band, Goldfish, who have just recently completed a tour in Brazil. Whether it takes a year or a decade, she intends to have successfully completed 100 portraits of real people.

Sketchbooktrails not only proves that much can be accomplished from whatever background someone comes from through sheer perseverance and effort. It also is a great testament to the great resource that the African girl-child and African women are. It is the success story of a young black immigrant living in South Africa.

Previous exhibitions of Taf’s paintings include a sold-out solo exhibition, Nature’s Child in 2003 in Picasso’s Gallery, Zimbabwe held in support of Childline, the Ekurhuleni Fine Art Award 2006 Finalist Exhibition in Johannesburg in 2006, ‘Contemporary Visions of Southern Africa’ Exhibition at the Pretoria Art Museum in 2007 and the “Justice For All” Art Auction at the Goethe Institute in 2008 held in support of the Legal Resources Centre (LRC).

sketchbook.jpg

For more information on Taf, to become one of the 100 faces of “Facing a Century” or to apply to be a featured artist on the Global Dialogue on Art 2010 please go to www.sketchbooktrails.com.

* Seriously make sure you go to that website, you gotta see this angel’s gallery – mind blowing!



  

A VIRTUAL TOUR OF SETH’S CAPE ROYALE PENTHOUSE..

14.06.2010

All protocol was relaxed as we granted one photographer and virtual-tour expert (Panascape) unprecedented access to my suite at the Cape Royale hotel. As it is my primary residence, you can imagine what intimate never-seen-before details were caught on camera.

The virtual tour itself let’s you cruise around the Cape Royale hotel (spinning 360 degrees up AND down in every room), with “hotspots” which allow you access to the next room – ultimately leading you up to my private penthouse..

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The Cape Royale lobby – after you click to open the front door

Above is a screenshot from the actual page you can go to for your own mind-blowing virtual tour. You will notice not only the purple icon in the top left portion of the picture (allowing you to “jump” to the next inter-leading room) but also action icons beneath the main image, letting you move around the current room; up, down, left, right- zooming in and out.

Zooming in and out comes in quite handy – especially when you make your way from the lobby, into the elevator and through to my suite. Once you get there, I’d advise you to pop into the bedroom, as I have a bit of a surprise for you..

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And don’t even get me started on the bathroom.

No, I’m serious – there is a bubble bath shot.. Let alone the lingerie shot taken in the kitchen..

There are also incredible vistas of the mother city, taken from the Sky Bar and pool deck, as well as from my balcony, showing never-seen-before footage of the World Cup Stadium in all her glory, at night.

The genius who made this for me also managed to add hotspots to all the various 2oceansvibe brands which are always found dotted around my life. This allows you to follow-up on those brands, should you wish, simply by clicking the green icons dotted around the virtual tour.

So do yourself a favour and check out this INCREDIBLE virtual tour of the penthouse at my primary residence – The Cape Royale Hotel.

CLICK HERE FOR VIRTUAL TOUR



  

THE SKY BAR PREMIUM VIEWING FACILITIES

11.06.2010

You see that building in the foreground? In front of the stadium?

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The Cape Royale Hotel and SKY BAR

That’s the Cape Royale hotel. That’s where I live.

On the roof is the world famous “SKY BAR” and pool deck. And guess what – they’re hosting premium World Cup viewing LIVE everyday. Yes, I know. Very exclusive – but it includes you.

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They’ve got VIP packages available. Tickets are available from R250 but if you mention 2oceansvibe, it’s only R150.

TO CHECK OUT THE VIP OPTIONS AND OTHER OFFERS, CLICK HERE

GO BAFANA!!!



  

BUDGET WORLD CUP ACCOMMODATION STILL AVAILABLE ON KLOOF STREET!

10.06.2010

I grabbed a burger at Hudson’s last night and ran into the owner, Dave. He informed me that the place above Hudsons, The Saasveld Lodge, still had availability for the World Cup. So if you’ve got mates coming to town who aren’t able to make use of the ridiculous deals being offered at my primary residence, the 5-star Cape Royale Hotel (directly over the road from the stadium), then maybe this would be a good option?

They’ve got rooms for as low as R800 a night during the world cup, slap-bang in the middle of one of Cape Town’s most exclusive and fashionable areas – Kloof Street!

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The Saasveld Lodge
Budget World Cup accommodation
in the heart of Kloof Street

You’ve got Hudson’s downstairs, you’ve got Woolworths and Wellness Warehouse over the road, and a Nando’s and vida e just 30 meters down the drag!

Shame, you poor thing!

Follow link for more pictures and information.

Read the rest of this entry »



  

THURSDAY MORNING SPICE

10.06.2010


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Cape Town’s Giant Vuvuzela
Check out some more killer WC action photos at boston

Tickets Available For England Game – Tickets for next Friday’s game in Cape Town are in great demand and we’ve managed to find a whole bunch for you. The 5-Star Cape Royale hotel (my primary residence – directly opposite the stadium) is offering packages which include tickets and rooms. So you won’t have to worry about parking either! Also available are Portugal v Korea and Cameroon v Netherlands. [tickets]

Cape Town Road Closures For World Cup Street Festival – The City of Cape Town has announced several road closures for its spectacular street festival to ‘Welcome the World to the Mother City’, on June 10 at the Grand Parade. On Thursday, some 17 000 revellers are expected to gather at the Fifa Fan Fest on the Grand Parade, and another 50 000 in the city centre. [capetowngov]

World Cup WAGS: The Ladies In The Stands – Meet the World Cup WAGs: the saucy wives and girlfriends of the South Africa 2010 World Cup players. In recent years, charting the WAG circuit has become almost as big of a sport as the game of soccer itself. Herewith, key women to watch for in the bleachers. From Coleen and Cheryl to Posh and Eva, we’re in for a treat! [vanityfair]

Everyone At FIFA’s Number Starts With 083 2010 – Some interesting info I picked up yesterday from a 2oceansviber who has been dealing with some FIFA hotshots. Enjoy this – given their sponsorship from MTN, all FIFA officials in South Africa have cellphone numbers beginning with 083 2010! Not too many to try out if you’re looking for someone specific. I wonder if Sepp got 001? Who got 007? [hello]

John Smit Live On 2OV Radio Tomorrow Morning – Springbok captain John Smit will be joining us in-studio tomorrow, the first day of the World Cup. We will discuss all things vuvuzela, as well as the fact that the Boks will be playing France on Saturday – a day after the French football side have their first game in Cape Town. Prizes from Sunglass Hut and Havaianas. [2oceansviberadio]

Man In Brazil Jails Daughter, Has Seven Kids With Her – Equals Fritzl’s Tally – A man in a remote fishing village in Brazil kept his daughter imprisoned for 12 years, raped her repeatedly and had seven children with her. The man is also accused of abusing a young girl he had with his daughter. Police allege that Jose Agostinho Pereira, 54, kept his daughter, now 28, under virtual house arrest in a two-room, thatched-roof hut. [associated]

Salma Hayek Snake Freakout – For a woman who made her name by seductively dancing with a massive snake around her neck in the film From Dusk Till Dawn, it is surprising to see Salma Hayek completely losing her shit. This recent video was taken during a promotional interview for her new movie. Which gets interrupted by a snake. Watch this. [celebritycafe]

BP Valued At Less Than It’s Assets – The financial toll of the oil spill disaster in the Gulf of Mexico escalated Wednesday as BP’s stock plummeted to a 14-year low and fishermen, businesses and property owners who have filed damage claims with the company angrily complained of delays, excessive paperwork and skimpy payments that have put them on the verge of going under. [huffpo]

How Jay Z Became King Of America – He’s had more Number One albums than Elvis Presley. He hangs with Barack Obama at the White House. And he’s riding high after leaving his longtime label Def Jam to work a $150 million deal with Live Nation, delivering some of his best live performances ever. At the age of 40, Jay-Z qualifies as an elder statesman of hip-hop – so how does he run the game? [rollingstone]

Fresh Satirical Take On 2oceansvibe – I was emailed by a few panicky 2oceansvibers out there, directing me to another local website who wrote a highly entertaining article, taking the mickey out of 2oceansvibe. In particular, they had a go at our passion for quality brands and good service, as we still manage to provide topical world news, humorous content and popular culture commentary. Very flattering! [6000]

Britney Spears May Have Sexually Harassed Her Bodyguard – This is what the reputable Sun newspaper is reporting. Twenty-nine-year-old Fernando Flores claims that the worrisome ex-pop singer traipsed around nude in front of him and made unwanted advances. In Britney’s defense, she thought he was a piece of cheesecake. [gawker]

Luxury Yacht Comes With Free Custom Supercar – As boat accessories go, a bespoke supercar is probably the most extravagant. But that’s exactly what millionaire buyers of the £17m Strand Craft SC122 will get.Beating the Bugatti Veyron hands down for exclusivity, the supercar has 880bhp from its twin-turbo V12 engine and a claimed top speed of 234mph. Only six will be built, each capable of hitting 60mph from rest in 3.2 seconds. [cars]

“Eat Da Poo Poo” – I’ve received this so many times that I guess I need to post it to get the insanity to stop. It’s a true video filmed in Uganda at an anti-homosexual presentation. It is so absurd and ridiculous and crass that it verges on humorous. But funny in a sad kind of way. Nothing graphic so go ahead and view at work. This guy has an incredible view on what homosexual get up to behind closed doors. [youtube]

Tom Cruise To Make “Les Grossman” Film – This is some of the greatest news of our lifetime. Paramount Pictures and MTV Films announced today that they are set to develop a movie around mega-producer Les Grossman. The announcement comes on the heels of Grossman’s groundbreaking and visionary production at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards Sunday night. [variety]

[thanks jase, travis, richard]



  

GOOGLE STREET VIEW FOR CAPE TOWN GOES LIVE!

9.06.2010

You can only imagine the zone you can get into, listening to some vinyl, with a joint in one hand and your new iPad in the other – on the day that Google Maps goes live with “Google Street View” for Cape Town. My God, I have traipsed every square inch of this city, all from the comfort of The Safe House sofa!

First I popped in at Caprice to try out the 2oceansvibe cocktail:

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Cafe Caprice on Google Maps “Street View”
Nice day they were having when they shot that!

Mmm, that was good!

Follow the link to see where else I went and also learn how to do this on your own computer or iPhone or iPad!

Read the rest of this entry »



  

CAPE ROYALE UP FOR WORLD TRAVEL AWARD! WE NEED YOUR HELP GANG!

24.05.2010

Ok gang, seriously – we need your help!

As you know, the Cape Royale hotel has been my primary residence for over a year now. It is part and parcel of the vibe and, as with all things part and parcel of the vibe, they get our full support at all times. Because if it wasn’t for select brands like them, the vibe may well cease to exist. A harrowing thought, I know..

Cape Royale Luxury Hotel has been nominated by the World Travel Awards as South Africa’s Leading Hotel. To win this prestigious award, we need you to vote for us.

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Vote for the Cape Royale

Cape Royale Luxury Hotel offers guests the following in luxury service:

Ample living and entertainment areas in all 95 suites

A choice of cuisine, including our renowned 1800° Grill Room

State-of-the-art executive meeting and boardrooms

Enjoy time-out in our French-boutique styled Equinox Spa

Relax by our roof deck pool and Sky Bar with 360° views

Multilingual concierge and front desk staff

Currency exchange

24-hour room service

In-room safe for laptops

Child-minding services

24-hour security and underground parking

Laundry and valet services

Complimentary internet access throughout the hotel

Valet parking

Chauffer services

To vote for Cape Royale; go to http://www.worldtravelawards.com/vote, click on Africa, then on Africa’s Leading Hotel, a list will appear on your left, click on South Africa, and then “South Africa’s leading hotel (in yellow). A new list will appear in the centre of your screen. Select Cape Royale Luxury Hotel.

Votes can be cast up until the 06th June 2010.



  

ROAD CLOSURES DURING THE WORLD CUP

11.05.2010

As part of our comprehensive World Cup information offering (check out our earlier “incredibly useful WC games Powerpoint presentation” here) we have now managed to secure you even more valuable information about how your life will be effected, come mid-June.

This, courtesy of the Cape Town Partnership:

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“Traffic will be affected on match days in Cape Town during the 2010 FIFA World Cup™ due to a number of necessary road closures. The City asks the public to be aware of these and to plan their routes and travel times accordingly. We apologise for any inconvenience caused,” said the City’s Director: Communication and 2010 Spokesperson, Pieter Cronje.

Public transport services have been extended as part of the City’s transport plan for the event. “We encourage commuters to utilise these extended public transport services offered by the City,” said Peter Sole, Manager: 2010 Transport Operations.

All trains and certain train stations will have additional security for the duration of the World Cup. In addition, the use of non-motorised transport and car pooling is greatly encouraged.

Full details of all information available follow below. Also, for a downloadable PDF brochure of the City’s Transport Plan during the 2010 FIFA World Cup, please click here.

ROAD CLOSURES ON CAPE TOWN MATCH DAYS

Routes affected within the Central Business District (CBD)

Four hours before kick-off there will be no general access to Hertzog Boulevard between Civic Avenue and Heerengracht, along Hans Strijdom Avenue, and along Adderley Street between Strand Street and Hertzog Boulevard. Premises in this area will be provided with the necessary access via alternative routes and opening the left lane of affected roads as required. The intersections of Hans Strijdom, at Long and Loop Streets will remain open to crossing traffic at all times, but may close for short periods before and after matches to give priority to the Match Day shuttle.

CBD connections to Green Point, Sea Point, Fresnaye and Radlantic (Atlantic Seaboard)

Western Boulevard will be closed in both directions, from Buitengracht in the central business district (CBD), to the Beach Road intersection at Three Anchor Bay. However, motorists will be able to exit the V&A Waterfront using Portswood Road, turning left into Western Boulevard, and then making a left turn only into Buitengracht.

Somerset Road will be closed from Buitengracht to Ebenezer Road in both directions between Ebenezer Road and York Road from 4 hours before the match to 4 hours after final whistle. From Ebenezer Road to York Road, the CBD-bound carriageway will be closed. However, two-way traffic will be accommodated on the Sea Point-bound carriageway. This route is intended for local access only, and should be avoided by non-residents.

Road closures will mostly impact upon traffic leaving the CBD during the evening peak period. People travelling to the Bantry Bay, Clifton and Camps Bay areas along the Atlantic Seaboard are advised to use Kloof Nek Road when leaving the city centre. During match day closures, public transport will be redirected onto High Level Road. It is thus recommended that, due to the expected congestion on High Level Road, Kloof Nek Road be used by general traffic.

On match days, it is expected that traffic volumes on High Level and Kloof Nek Roads as well as at the Buitengracht intersections will be very heavy. Thus, wherever possible, it is recommended that commuters adjust their routes and travel times to avoid these routes during road closures.

FOLLOW LINK for the rest of the information, including around the stadium, the Grand Parade and more..

Read the rest of this entry »



  

SETH MISSES CAPE ROYALE “EQUINOX” SPA AND “1800″ RESTAURANT SPECIALS

7.05.2010

Look, I’m certainly not distraught at being “stuck” in Provence for the next month, but I am somewhat “irked” that I am missing out on the winter specials going on at my primary residence, the Cape Royale hotel! In particular, at1800 Restaurant and Equinox spa! So I thought I better pop them up here for you to make use of them instead!

CLICK IMAGES below for individual websites.

1800 C.Times ad May 10 AW
I’ve had tons of people tell me they have tried out this special.
If you haven’t yet – trust me, you need to do it..

Equinox CT May Ad AW
This is where I send Elbe van der Merwe, when she behaves.
If you see her, ask her about it. It’s 100% glorious!



  

THE ALL NEW JAGUAR XJ – NOW WITH IT’S OWN HARD DRIVE!

21.04.2010

I just got my latest issue of Car Magazine in the post and spotted the all-new Jaguar XJ on the cover. Jeepers, but that is a beauty!

The Cape Royale has been driving me around in the XF which has been an absolute dream, but I must say I wouldn’t mind an upgrade, if there’s one going!

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This month’s Car Magazine

Blamed in the past for boring automotive design, Jaguar broke the mould with its beautiful and brilliant XF executive saloon in 2007. With the all-new XJ due for the South African market in the third quarter of this year, Jaguar steps even further away from its former conservative self in favour of ground-breaking style…

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The All-New Jaguar XJ

But there are even more pics and details (including radical virtual instrumentation and Hard Disc Drive!!) :

Read the rest of this entry »



  

GRAND DADDY HOTEL VALET NOT LIKELY TO GET A TIP

20.04.2010

The Grand Daddy Hotel

Word on the street is that a valet attendant employed by the four star Grand Daddy on Long Street may have allegedly abused his position last Saturday night.

And when we say “abused his position”, what we really mean to say is “stole a Grand Daddy client’s Mini Cooper Sport, and wrecked it Jub Jub style 70 kilometres away in Blue Downs”.

Read the rest of this entry »



  

THE WESTCLIFF HOTEL, JOHANNESBURG

12.04.2010

By now you will be well aware of the fact that I am seldom lured from my salubrious surroundings. Ubiquitous annual jaunts to south of France, LA and the med notwithstanding, tearing myself away from The Safe House and the majesty of Cape Town is not an activity I enter into lightly. Hence a trip to the bright lights of Jozi generally makes me wince behind the handcrafted lenses of my Ferragamos.

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Yet this week an irresistible business opportunity and a session with the Aston Martin top brass took me northwards. I naturally tapped my network to establish where I should be to ensure that my vibe was maintained. It is critical to source environs that I am used to, to ease the separation anxiety from the opulence and convenience of my primary residence, the 5-star Cape Royale. Enter the Westcliff Hotel, Johannesburg. Now we’re talking. Style like I’m used to. Style you should strive for and opulence we crave, especially in Jozi.

From the moment I saw the beaming Wonga at the arrivals hall at Jan Smuts, slickly decked out in his regal driver kit, I knew that everything would be okay. Slick. Look, the drive around Jozi is probably not ever going to be a person with any sort of aesthetic sensibility’s wet dream – but the gem that is Wonga made it more than passable. Sure, the new 5 series isn’t the Jaguar I am normally driven around in. But I’m fine with it. Rental cars in foreign cities are generally a shit-show and should be given the wide berth – where possible.

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Cool, to the power of Wonga

Essential then for me to gather my thoughts, bask in pristine environs and rediscover the vibe after the commute from the sublime to the not-so-sublime. Imagine my unadulterated joy then, to enter the tranquil world of the Westcliff. You will appreciate that I am well qualified to comment on hotels. The Cape Royale raises the bar pretty high, but the grandeur, style and class of the Westcliff are certainly also up there with the very best.

Suitably refreshed and buoyed by the prospect of a post-meeting infinity-pool session, we hit Jozi hard. The only way I know how. Gordon Gecko would have approved of the clinical, ruthless efficiency which underlined the meetings. In, out and what seemed like minutes later the great Wonga swung the beemer into the oasis that is the Westcliff – perched very nicely on a hilltop overlooking Egoli. Never rush – that is one of the secrets I’m happy to impart. Hence my carefully staggered meetings allowed me plenty of time to savour the delights the hotel has to offer.

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The heated pool with Polo Lounge above and my suite to the left

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Shame – my private garden leading to the pool

So there I was. Post-meeting domination. Sunset, poolside, cocktail in hand, angels trying to make their repeated stares in my direction subtle (and failing dismally), attentive waiters on hand. Naturally donning the hotels reassuringly heavy white gown, and I thought, on reflection, that Jozi is pretty damn cool if you can immerse yourself in this vibe. In its own way. I also understood just why Westcliff is something of an institution. And why 2oceansvibe Character, The Wedding Singer, chose to drop to one knee in this venerable locale.

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Tea in the ‘Polo Lounge’ – terribly civilised..


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“Do you know how to make a 2oceansvibe cocktail?”

With Europe now shedding its winter jacket I must confess that at times being in the hotel environment did transport me back to stays in romantic hotels lingering above the Italian Riveria. With a bit of imagination I could quite easily have thought I was swirling a crisp Chianti on the terrace at the Splendido in Portfofino. But then a roar from a lion in the zoo below reminded me that I was still on the Dark Continent. Or maybe the Jameson’s were kicking in. Anyway, I digress.

The views from the manicured lawns and perfectly perched infinity pool are seriously impressive and I was pretty blown away by the vistas over the Joburg Zoo from the pool terrace. So much so that I remarked the Joburg must surely be one of the largest, if not the largest, man-made forest on earth….. Indeed. Wiki it if you must. That’s what I’m here for – informing and keep you abreast of the trivia you should know. Like the fact that Jozi has a higher annual rainfall than London. No spice. Yes, please – go check.

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Shame – sorry for you..

But what isn’t trivial is the level of service and quality of scenes at the Westcliff. Drinks, world class dinner overlooking the pool, more drinks. Fine. The beauty of staying at a place like this is the utter joy of indulging in the things which the Jozi heavy hitters who are there for drinks aren’t able to. Nothing better than swanning around in your toweling gown, much like Jack Nicholson would do on St Tropez yet. Because he can. While those there just for drinks or supper look on with the envy which is impossible to repress.

It is rare that I actually get vaguely excited about going to bed alone. Yes, that might sound borderline strange. But when you are positioned to the best suite in the house and your bed is bigger than most pools on the Radlantic you get my point. So a properly productive day, all conducted in the style and vibe I’ve grown accustomed to was complete.

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The ever-attentative Dingani and co in their Polo Lounge outfits

Day 2 of the Jozi excursion couldn’t have been kicked off in more perfect fashion. I’m growing quite fond of egg white omelets with feta, ham and rocket. So a ridiculously sumptuous brekkie and a leisurely stroll around the perfectly manicured grounds and a few lengths of the (heated) pool was pretty much perfect. Weird to be in Joburg but in European vibes – but this could be the start of a new love affair.

The ever faithful Wonga delivered us safely to the airport and I must admit to being strangely nostalgic about leaving Jozi this time. It couldn’t have been run with greater precision if a Swiss outfit had arranged my itinerary. Great vibe.

Using my iPhone and my Photostich app, I made a stunning little panorama of the pool deck, overlooking Johannesburg.

Give it a click – you’ll enjoy it.

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Click image for seriously impressive panorama pic

Nothing wrong with that, hey?

So as I watch the sun slip into the Atlantic my faith in Jozi has been restored. Slightly envious of those who get to spend more time in the Westcliff – but I’ll be back, for sure. Jozi may well need me.

Until next time.



  

COME OVER AND PLAY IN THE EQUINOX SPA..

16.03.2010

Basically, you can get a glass of bubbly, a facial, a manicure, a pedicure or massage and valet parking, for roughly the same price as you get a sandwich from Melissa’s! That’s how the Equinox Spa at my primary residence, the Cape Royale hotel, is rolling at the moment.

Personally I’ve had close on 500 massages at Equinox. It’s pretty much a wonderland of pamperrific excess and you need to go.

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Mmm, you like that..

Not that we should forget the amusing bushes, glass of wine and 200 grams of the best rump or rib eye your taste buds have ever imagined. For the same price as you will be tipping car guards after the world cup. Such will be the norm following our European guests’ unintentional excessive custom during the tournament.

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Put that steak inside your body..

Click those flyers above to get a full sized image, so you can get the full impact of the vibe they’re throwing out.