I don’t know about you, but I’ve just ordered this T-shirt “online” :

That’s just how I’m rolling at the moment. And that’s exactly how they ALWAYS roll at “Challah Clothing ,” which is an online T-shirt shop..

You seem confused? Perfectly understandable.

Their About Us section of the website explains:

Challah Clothing was founded in 2009 by two young Jewish entrepreneurs…surprise right! Brad and David had the vision of creating funny Jewish t-shirts, but not just some cheap crap with shitty designs. All of our shirts are printed in the United States on American Apparel t-shirts.

Read more about them in a recent interview here.

ChallahClothing.com

Jeepers, Sea Point is going to go crazy for this stuff!

Maybe you would like to see the rest of their range? They have an AWESOME one with “Shalom” on the front. There is a group of us gentiles who say “shalom” when we greet. Not because we’re Jewish.

Just because it sounds cool. FACT.

Why do you think the Black Eyed Peas through it into their song:

I gotta feeling
that tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good good night (x2)
Tonight’s the night
Let’s live it up
I got my money
Lets spend it up
Go out and smash it
Like Oh My God
Jump off that sofa
Lets get get OFF

Fill up my cup (Drink)
Mozolotov (Lahyme)
[my favourtie part]

It’s too beautiful! CLICK HERE to watch the music video (very very cool video, btw).

Then CLICK HERE to check out the rest of the range at ChallahClothing.com

[thanks neil]

To say that I was the PC poster-boy, would be an understatement. I had a computer from the age of six and, given that I was an only child, I spent an inordinate amount of time in front of the various computers I have had throughout my life. Apart from the “SpectraVideo” and BBC computers I had in my pre-teen years on earth, every single computer I have ever owned has been a PC.

And I didn’t just have the computers – as an only child I lived, breathed, ate and slept them. I even slept WITH them at times. Non fiction. I opened them up and put them back together again. All the work I have ever done has been computer related. I was logging into “Bulletin Board Systems” in the early 90’s and was surfing on the net in ‘93/’94 when the speed was 1200bps and there was purely text – no images.

No Tuesday Tabs..

You get the picture – when it comes to PC’s, they truly are all I know. From desktops and the first monochrome screen laptops, to the latest and greatest, biggest and smallest Sony Vaio’s, I’ve had them all. Basically, you couldn’t with for a better authority on the content of this article, than yours truly.

I’ve endured the nauseating ridicule dished out by the Mac users out there and I’ve explained to them that I have no need to “switch.” They’re usually quite aggressive as well – not shy to hit you with things like, “what are you doing with this piece of shit.” Quite a vibe, I thought, especially when unsolicited.

“Everything works fine with my PC,” I would tell them. And, to coin a phrase I came up with a few years ago, “if it ain’t broke, don’t try and fix it.”

[pauses....looks at audience...utter silence...continues..]

Three weeks ago I acquired an Apple Mac and I will never be going back to PC.

FACT.

Let me explain.

It all started some time ago when I published an article about the Apple Mac iStore Shop at the Waterfront. Some of you will recall the mayhem that ensued – it has become something of geek folk legend here in Cape Town. Today, with over 120 comments and that article (mostly in support of my article – with new comments being added weekly, due to the article’s Google position for the search phrase “waterfront istore”), something needs to said for the Mac users out there. They’re a passionate bunch, alright!

My interest had been piqued and I became more and more intrigued with Apple Macs, but I didn’t want to deal with the iStore or Core, as it was quite evident that stabbing my eye repeatedly with a hot fork would give the same result.

The name “DigiCape” came up over and over in the comments section under that story I wrote – perhaps they were the ones to chat to?

I went through to their shop (their online store is hot as hell, by the way – www.digicape.co.za) which is off Roeland Street in Cape Town. I think the development is called “Roeland Square” – just down the road from Wembley Square and in the same complex as ORMS Photographic shop. Yes, that’s the one. I chatted to the owners and they let me test drive the new 13″ MacBook Pro (pictured above). It came with Office for Mac installed, as well as the likes of Dreamweaver, Photoshop and Final Cut. Their quietly smug confidence in the product certainly did get me going. Aroused, even.

www.digicape.co.za

Well, I tell you what – never before have I felt such a sensation. Not with regards to the use of the machine (we’ll get to that shortly) but more to do with the embarrassment that I realised I should have felt for so many years before. I call it “hindsight embarrassment” or, for pure 2oceansvibers, “hindsight emboerrissment.” Oh my God – how many people had secretly been laughing at me? For all this time!

From the outset I can tell you one thing that is quite clear to me. The Mac operating system and machine layout/functionality is far more better suited to human logic. It gets closer to those movies you see where the guy flicks things around a clear sheet of glass (think Minority Report ).

I shot a short video (using the iPhone 3Gs I also got from DigiCape) to show you how the new trackpad works.

Check it out:

I should mention that I filmed that video and uploaded it (directly from my iPhone using the Flickr app) to my Flickr account all in under 3 minutes.

I’ve had an ongoing joke with The Roofer for the last few years and with every new laptop I acquired, he would ask me, “is this one fast enough for you?”

“Hmm, it’s getting better,” I would always answer, “but I still find myself waiting for the machine, which I’m sure is not the point of the exercise!”

Sammy, I can tell you now, I’ve finally found it, pal!

And with regards to those Mac maniacs out there who make it their job to attack you and ridicule you about your PC, without any due provocation…. they’re still a bunch of dicks, but at least now I understand where they’re coming from.

I’m sure I won’t turn into them but, you know……seeing as we’re on the subject – exactly what are you doing with that piece of shit?

It’s with great ease that they do, because Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut (lest we forget the Le Grand Pavillon Brut Rosé) has very recently become the sparkling wine of choice for 2oceansvibe. Hardened 2oceansvibers out there will know what it takes to get the nod as a 2oceansvibe brand and, make no mistake, this premium Franschhoek outfit has paid their dues.

It’s won’t be long until you’ll find it at all your favourite 2oceansvibe hangouts, including Caprice, Miss K, 1800 Restaurant, Cape Royale Hotel, HQ Restaurant and Caveau.

Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut
Now being served at The Safe House

Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut – the 2oceansvibe Sparkling Wine of choice.

The Methode Cap Classique of choice, I might add!

I’ll be honest, The Muse and I klapped a bottle each on Sunday and I must say it goes VERY well with the Atlantic Seaboard. In fact, it goes very well with the entire weekend. It went well with the post-Clifton-tanning-session Sunday Times hour , as well as the vinyl player interlude, featuring Barry and Barbs.. Yes, it seems to adapt very well.

But you would have known that anyway, if you were following the 2oceansvibe Twitter feed, as well as the 2oceansvibe Flickr feed..

For the more serious bubbly drinkers out there, you can CLICK HERE to download the Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut cheat sheet (PDF) which will answer all those questions you might be asking. Questions that I cannot answer. All I know is it tastes great and everyone I drink it with thinks the same!

Then, when you’re done there, take a stroll down to their website and see what it takes to become the official 2oceansvibe bubbly – www.boschendalwines.com

Don’t say I don’t tell you how and when to be at the right place at the right time.

I was contacted by the owner of an online company called luxury4less who have launched a very exclusive website offering a vast range of premium brands and designer products at massively reduced prices. But it’s not what you think – give this a moment..

This is a genuinely clever concept that I’ve seen overseas and, in particular, the U.K. where I know of a few friends who indulge. You see they have limited quantity of each product, which allows them to achieve massive discounts.

They’re pretty up front with how the whole things works. You’ll get the idea once you’ve read this:

Firstly, all our products are genuine, the real stuff, guarantees and warranties are provided, where applicable, and we also guarantee a 100% return policy (T&C apply) in case we deliver the wrong item. Discounts are negotiated with our suppliers, and offered to our members since the products offered in our campaigns might be off-season (or close to off-season) products, overstock, slow moving items, or, a new product the supplier would like to test in the South African market as part of a promotion.

Fair enough. Nice vibe. I gave it a bash today and I’m happy to say the system works perfectly. I used my login (after receiving approval) and, with the dwindling supply of smellies at home, I checked out the fragrances.

Case in point, The Hugo Boss Energise fragrance that I was perving at the airport on my way back From L.A. in July.

Due to the massiveness of the price reduction (40% off), there were only 3 in stock and the countdown clock (yes, there is a countdown clock) had 14 days to go. The price was set at R399 (rather than R660) and I’d be damned if I’d let this puppy slip through my fingers! I mean, seriously – R399? Those of you who buy premium fragrances will know that deals on fragrances should not be ignored. There is one rule – just get it – quickly – before it disappears.

So ja, that’s that – I bought mine and it’s on it’s way. But don’t panic – once those are gone, there are some others to go for – not that I can put my cock on a block that they will still be there when you get there!

Enjoy this screenshot, featuring everything from Lacoste and Joop! to Moschino and Happy Fizz:

And those aren’t all of them!

What’s more, fragrances are just ONE of the product lines they have. Don’t even get me started on the sunglasses, gym equipment, holiday packages, bags, plasmas and more.

Seriously – everything is RADICALLY discounted – you’d be silly not to have a squizz.

I explained to the owner of the website that 2oceansvibers should be allowed membership and shouldn’t have to go through a screening process – so he agreed and gave me a special 2oceansvibe promotional code for you guys to give you immediate access!

So go to the website HERE and put in your details, followed by this promotional code 2oceans@luxury4less.co.za

Go on, give it a little click – they will have something you want and it will cost next to nothing – www.luxury4less.co.za

We feature spicy products from time to time, here on the streets of 2oceansvibe. The recent past has featured some gems, including the so-ridiculous-it-must-be-real Comfort Wipe commercial, as well as the surely-not Sticky Nips advertisement.

Now while these videos may seem a tad risqu̩ to some, I remind you that they have all been featured on TV Рusually in the US!

This brings us to our latest video which, although completely off the charts, IS actually suitable for home AND office viewing. ie. there is nothing graphic on the screen.

Seriously, this is not NSFW – I give you my word.

Please enjoy the Tenga Flip Hole.

Are you ok with that?

I wanted to work something out for you. The Tenga Flip Hole is retailing online at R1,500. Now, if you watched that whole video, you’ll know that they reckon it can only be used about 50 times.

You know what that means, right?

That’s correct, it’s gonna cost you about 30 bucks a “session!”

That’s just silly.

[thanks simon]

You have spoken, and we have responded. Finally you are able to order De Grendel wine, Jack Black beer and Pussy Natural Energy drink online AND have it delivered to your door!

I swear it. Our boys at Diletto have done the right thing and added the drinks to their online gourmet food and beverage emporium!

www.diletto.co.za

So they’re rocking with the De Grendel whites (here), reds (here), as well as our favourite, the Rosé (here). You can order that by the case, and at around R40 a bottle you’ll be laughing!

De Grendel Rosé

The Rosé is also finally available at Caprice, by the way. I’d order it if I were you. It tastes great and you will look cool too.

Back to Diletto. They’re also offering Jack Black beer (here) by the 6-pack. Personally, I’d order a case at a time – because then you can get it delivered in one of their awesome black boxes.

So crisp. So clean.

Awesomeness

And no online gourmet food and beverage emporium would be complete without the 2oceansvibe energy drink of choice which is taking Cape Town by storm, Pussy Natural Energy drink (here).

Natural Energy
Radness

Your can order those puppies by the 8-pack or you can be true to yourself and do like I do – order a case of 24! They go faster than you think. Also don’t be shy to knock one back in the morning if you’re feeling sluggish. It’s FAR more easy on the palate than some of the other energy drinks out there, which can be quite ghastly in the morning!

Well done Diletto, and well done to YOU, the 2oceansvibe reader, for finally getting what you wanted!

Can you even cope for a second with the fact that Kika-Sack have finally bowed to public pressure and added the colour pink to their range of Kika-Sack balls?

Pink, ‘cos you are so very..

I know – it’s too awesome for words! And to celebrate the pink vibe, we’re giving away 50 pink balls with your OWN personal logo. It could be your company logo, it could be “happy birthday baby,” whatever tickles your fancy.

To win this competition, simply answer the question “What is the official name of the pink Kika Sack balls” (find answer at www.kika-sack.com).

Email your answer to sales@kika-sack.com

The first 3 girls that email the correct answer will win 50 personalised pink balls EACH!

And besides that competition, why don’t you wake up and get your company’s logo on some of these balls? The world cup is in less than a year – have you done ANY football related promotional work? Idiot. Order some balls from these guys and you’ll get 10% if you tell them you’re a 2oceansviber.

Standard stuff.

*Click here to watch and listen to the song “Pink,” by Aerosmith.

It’s common knowledge that Hugh Hefner ’s life is loosely based on mine and I wish to expand on that. In particular, I am referring to the article entitled “Down the Rabbit Hole” featured in this weekend’s Lifestyle section of this weekend’s Sunday Times newspaper. The article discussed the newly-published author Izabella St James and her book Bunny Tales: Behind Closed Doors at the Playboy Mansion , a tell-all account of her life in the Playboy Mansion with Playboy founder, Hugh Hefner .

Bunny Tales
By Izabella St James

Yup, she’s a cracker.

One of the topics in the book is obviously to do with the sex side of things in the Playboy mansion. The article touched on this and discussed the revelation that apparently Hefner’s stamina leaves a lot to be desired. Which, although shocking, can be understood at the tender age of 83.

So that’s really what I wanted to address at this point. The fact that although Hefner’s life is loosely based on mind, I do not suffer from these same inadequacies.

Seriously, I am everything that you imagined, and so much more.

CLICK HERE to buy the book in South Africa

CLICK HERE to buy the book in the UK

Or click here to see me moonwalk.

I’m so glad that rural African communities have finally embraced the timeless Louis Vuitton monogram. Finally, I have something to serve salads in which can rival my Alessi collection!

Tell me, how badly do you want this calabash?

Louis Vuitton calabash
So awesome it hurts

What a wonderful concept – to support local industry and maintain international premium fashion brand consciousness at the same time! And, what’s more, it costs next to nothing – thus helping YOU during the recession. Everyone’s a winner!

But seriously, let’s find out exactly what is going on here. This, from designboom:

developed for a collective exhibition in dakar, senegal, sébastien bouchard’s ‘c’est la crise’ (crisis time)
is an artistic response to the current global economic situation.

 

Mnandi

 

the calabash, is a bowl made from the calabash tree. it is an object which is commonly used
in african culture. every family has its own calabash to carry things, use it in cooking…
it is an object which has a price of less than 1€ but is something which everyone uses daily.
the idea behind ‘c’est la crise’ is to elaborate on the significance of this bowl and its use
by contrasting it with the iconic louis vuitton monogram which is a symbol of luxury
and high-end goods. the juxtaposition of the painted vuitton graphics on the exterior of the calabash
result in a confrontation between the necessities of african life and the desires of western life.

Whatever, let’s just tell the truth – it looks AWESOME and I want one!

I could probably get Mavis to work on producing these. Then I could get those annoying illegal wire chameleon selling people in Camps Bay to flog them for me (alongside the knockoff Havaianas flip-flops the Cambodian pre-teen kids under my floorboards are churning out).

Then I’ll just sit back and count the cash!

Now that’s living the holiday!

[thanks andy]

These things REALLY tweaked me when I first saw them. I used to have an extensive cassette music collection (far more than Jonty Fisher) and I couldn’t think of anything cooler to protect my iPod Nano. That’s obviously if I had an iPod Nano.

But that’s not the point.

The point is this:

“What’s this?” you ask..

It’s the reincarnation of the word “rad.”

Let’s get in there:

The 45 Nano Cases for the 4th generation iPod Nano. Designed by Contexture Design, a creative duo based in Vancouver, Canada. They’re made from old cassette tapes and are gutted, routered and rebuilt to fit your 4th generation iPod Nano.”

See what they did there?

Amazing that are people out there even cooler than you.

The mind boggles.

Check out the range (some classics, like the old “maxell” tapes) and order your own here.

[thanks scott]

This is a photograph of the one jeans section of my cupboard.

A wide array of jean pant

I think you will agree that it is a tad excessive. And that’s only some of them, which is half of what it was about a month ago. I give the odd pair to Mavis, you see (which she probably flogs to further afford her fast-paced jet-set lifestyle), but I’m still left with these reams of denim.

What am I going to do?!! [places back of hand to forehead - nearly passes out]

Well it’s not going to be a problem anymore – Levi Struass have just launched a new campaign which suits me to a tee! Quite simply, they’re going to BUY MY JEANS!!! For up to R200 a pair, to be exact! AND, what’s more, they’ll improve your karma by donating those very jeans to disadvantaged communities!

My goodness, it’s like you’re cheating – but you’re not!

See what they did there?
Get RID of your jeans, for GOOD!
Get it?

Oh, none of your old jeans are made by Levi’s? Hey, no problem my angel – they’ll take ANY brand of jean pant!!! Ja, you heard me. ANY brand! After all, charity shouldn’t discriminate.

Why are people paying us for our old jeans and then donating them to disadvantaged communities? Well, let’s be honest, it’s not for us to worry about. Levi’s are doing the right thing and everyone’s a winner.

2oceansvibe supports this vibe 100% – so get on over to your nearest Levi’s store and drop off your jeans.

Tell you what, if you go and donate your jeans (which they will pay you for) and send in a pic of you in your underwear in the Levi store, we’ll publish the pic right here on 2oceansvibe!

Send to editor@2oceansvibe.com

Deal?

Deal!

CLICK HERE for more info on the promotion, including Frequently Asked Questions.

I’ve been toying with this Pussy Natural Energy Drink for a while. You’ll remember the first mention of the energy drink was in one of the 2oceansvibe Weather Girls shows with the smoking hot Genevieve Morton (here and here). You see, the guys at Pussy (www.pussydrinks.com) were trying to get me to drink it for a while and I finally gave in, because I thought it would make for some spicy content on the show. They sent me some. It did.

Initially apprehensive about the product, I did some thinking, and you know what, it’s not even rude. The only reason we think it might be rude is because of the somewhat vulgar South African Afrikaans word, “p*es” which refers to a woman’s what-what. Whereas, everywhere else in the world, the word pussy is actually cute and playful. It is often used in general conversation (”don’t be a sour puss” and “pussy cat” come to mind) and even movies (James Bond – Pussy Galore), so any reservations with regard to the name are pretty pathetic. Rather, as I said in the interview with Genevieve, it should be used in a playful manner. Ordering a vodka Pussy at the bar, for example, is nothing but fun! there is even a vodka out there called “Exquisite” – now put those two together.

Try it out – seriously – I enjoy that vibe.

Jammo Blunt
Enjoys Pussy..

But that’s not the only reason I dig it now. After they gave me those freebies, I started drinking it and I’ll be honest, I dig the stuff. It’s 100% natural (even has milk thistle in it – good for one’s liver and all that) and tastes nothing like its competitors. It’s pleasant and not as arresting. Personally, the other stuff gives me headaches and super-sensitive teeth. Not with this stuff.

A Bentley with Pussy on it
We like Bentleys..

You might have spotted the MTV logo on the can above. That’s right – it’s endorsed by MTV. That’s cool, right? I’ll say! The drink is affiliated to MTV’s Staying Alive foundation (www.staying-alive.org) and a percentage of all sales go straight to HIV-related initiatives, run by that very foundation. Pretty cool vibe.

So there you go, I’m gonna give this stuff the go ahead. We’ve already got it into Caprice and HQ and Caveau and it’s rolling out in loads of other places.

Oh, it’s also right here next to me – poolside at The Standard hotel on Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood , Los Angeles, California. You’ll also see it featured in part 3 and 4 of the 2oceansvibe Pauly Shore Zinzi Series during the interviews (here – part 3 comes out at 3pm today).

Pussy – spotted in Los Angeles

What do you call this then?
Spotted next to the pool..
Thought you might appreciate it..

Give it a bash – you’ll be glad you did.

It was too easy yesterday. I popped into Vida e on Kloof Road and then waltzed over to Mabu Vinyl, just opposite (in the road leading into the Vida entrance – Rheede Street) to pick up some records.

I called the owner, Sugar, from the South of France on the day that Michael Jackson died. I asked him to keep all the Michael Jackson vinyl for me and I would pick it up upon my return.

Which I duly did yesterday.

The one record was Victory, by the Jackson 5. The first track is State of Shock which they recorded with Mick Jagger. My God, what an awesome tune! I very nearly forgot about this one.

Jeez it’s awesome!

“State of Shock ” is a 1984 hit single by The Jacksons featuring frontman Michael Jackson and Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger.

“State of Shock ” was the biggest hit from The Jacksons’ Victory album, reaching number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and number 4 on the Billboard R&B Singles chart. The song is written by Jackson and guitarist Randy Hansen.

The final version featured lead vocals by Michael Jackson and Jagger. “State of Shock” was the last top ten hit for The Jacksons, as well as their last single to be certified gold. The song was later revised by Jagger when he performed it with Tina Turner during their legendary 1985 performance at Live Aid.

What a vibe! With Jagger – going for it!!

Don’t miss out on MABU VINYL’S HALF PRICE SALE going on now. It won’t be going for very long so get your asses down there!

Mabu Vinyl HALF PRICE SALE
Website here

You do have a vinyl player, right?

Sort that out, if you haven’t yet.

Nick Goldblatt is due one, I’m sure..

I don’t read a lot of books and when I do they usually have to be non-fiction and/or biographies. It takes a lot for me to pick one up on recommendation and, when I do get to that point, I usually don’t get past half way. I’m happy to say that this is not the case with the current book I am reading which I seem to be FLYING through!

I got it from The Marketer, (who got it from Craig Banks) – and it’s called The Wolf of Wall Street

The Wolf of Wall Street
By Jordan Belfort

The true story was the inspiration for the movie “Boiler Room” with Ben Affleck and has everything you’re looking for. Money, drugs, sex, crime, a 170-foot motor yacht, a Gulfstream jet, hookers, helicopters, a $700,000 hotel bill and it all came crashing down on him!

Here is a review I found for you on bloggingstocks:

Jordan Belfort was the king of pump-and-dumps during the 1990’s, presiding over Stratton Oakmont, a real life version of Boiler Room’s J.T. Marlin. He was earning millions of dollars each month, doing enormous quantities of cocaine and a drug called Quaaludes, and sleeping with dozens of prostitutes, in spite of his marriage to a beautiful and wonderful lady he calls the Duchess of Bay Ridge.

Eventually the Feds caught up with him, and Belfort was indicted on charges including securities fraud and money laundering. He managed to serve just 22 months in a federal prison camp after serving as a government witness. Now out of jail, Belfort has written a book about his reign at the top: The Wolf of Wall Street: Stock Market Multimillionaire at 26, Federal Convict at 36, I Partied Like a Rock Star, Lived like a King, and Barely Survived My Rise and Fall as an American Entrepreneurial Icon.

And what a reign it was. Belfort’s 519-page memoir contains a seemingly infinite series of tales about drug abuse, trips to Switzerland to launder money, lurid scenes with prostitutes, and other narcotics-fueled debauchery.

Again, it’s ALL true!

If any of that appeals to you then I suggest you get this book ASAP.

CLICK HERE to buy it right now online in South Africa.

CLICK HERE to buy it right now online in the UK.

Oh, and there is a sequel as well which my dad says is just as good. It’s called Catching the Wolf of Wall Street.

CLICK HERE to buy the sequel online now in South Africa.

CLICK HERE to buy the sequel online now in the UK.

Do you remember the other day I featured (here ) that picture painted on a wall in Cape Town of the “Simunyes?” You know, the African style ripoff of The Simpsons?

Let’s get a quick recap of that.

The eSimpowenis

Well, either way, I got an email from Eric at Springleap who told me the image was actually called “The eSimpowenis ” and was the winning design from their August 2008 competition on springleap.com (they run a design competition every 2 weeks, and the winning voted t-shirt is sold online and in stores).

Anyway, he directed to their website and I bought the T-shirt!!

Check, check, check it out!

My new T-shirt!
CLICK HERE TO GO TO IT ON THE WEBSITE

I know! Pretty cool hey?

I’ve subsequently been chatting to the owner and he agreed to a special little deal just for YOU. Quite simply, all 2oceansvibe readers will get R50 off their first purchase at Springleap.com.

All you have to do is use the coupon code “ThanksSeth” (case sensitive) when you buy your T-Shirt (any T-shirt) from their website.

Click here to go to their website.

Click here to go straight to the eSimpowenis T-shirt page.

Got it?

Good.

Enjoy it.

Ok. Unlike the unresearched photos that The Insurance Broker was sending around (here) of some photos taken onboard as the Air France flight was going down, this commercial is not a hoax.

It is an ad for the Comfort Wipe which makes a certain bathroom activity that little bit easier. They claim that it is “the first major advancement in the process since the 1880s.”

No spice.

How about that, hey?

And if you’re skeptical, do a little search on the internet and if you find anything proving it to be fake, do let me know – But I honestly did do as much research as possible.

I even found this HILARIOUS article a guy wrote about trying to RETURN a Comfort Wipe after buying one. It’s too funny. CLICK HERE for that.

I’m surprised CLICKS don’t stock these bad boys.

[thanks nico]

This one jumped out at me. Firstly because I appreciate the extent to which the fella freaked out and, secondly, because I used to own the exact same car and can categorically state that I have never (and will never again) deal with worse service from ANY brand than I did with Land Rover Cape Town.

It seems their focus on abysmal service is something they strive for globally. Please enjoy this vibe – parked outside a Land Rover dealership in Colchester, Essex.

Eye-catching!

This, from The Daily Mail:

Rover’s revenge: Furious driver dumps his £50,000 Range Rover outside showroom… emblazoned with a list of its ‘faults’

It is not the best advertisement to have outside your car dealership.

This Range Rover Sport HSE is convincingly decorated like a ‘manager’s special offer’, but it promotes a set of features that are far from appealing.

The owner has daubed it with a catalogue of the faults it allegedly suffered after he bought it for £50,000 at Lookers Land Rover showroom in Colchester, Essex.

When the dealership failed to deal with his complaints to his satisfaction, he parked the negative advertising outside.

As the vehicle is on a public road, the showroom has no power to move it. Staff refused to reveal the owner’s identity.

Large yellow vinyl letters along one side of the car read: ‘If you want trouble free motoring do not buy one of these!!!’

 

Let alone the service..

 

On the side and rear windows it lists: ‘Problems with . . . 6 front ball joints, 4 front arm bushes, new seat base, front and rear n/s [nearside] struts, full n/s suspension unit, anti-roll bar bushes, air con.’

A passer-by said: ‘It looks really realistic until you actually read what the words say. Then it’s obvious someone has put it there to have a dig at the dealership. It’s a brilliant idea.’

[more here]

Do you know what it takes to be pushed to that point? A lot. Land Rover seem to have perfected it.

I remember the one time I needed to book my car in because something went wrong with it. So my P.A. called Land Rover and left 10 messages and, after two days got no response. I kept pushing for feedback and she couldn’t give it. The more she freaked out, the more I freaked out. Then, on the third day, she called them and it just kept on ringing. She was nearly in tears. So I walked straight out, got in my car and drove to Land Rover.

I walked up to the front desk, greeted the reception lady, asked her to pick up the phone and urged her to dial my P.A.’s number immediately, which I gave her.

While it was dialing, I said to her, “Franki is trying to get hold of you – please chat to her” and walked out when Franki answered – allowing her to finally book my car in.

Now firmly in a rage, I charged into the Manager’s office and asked him if the process I had just followed made sense. He agreed that it seemed a tad excessive for me to be forced to drive through to a place to get the place to call my PA to book my car in.

I told him that it was no secret that Land Rover were RENOWNED for their “shit” service, to which he replied, “I know.”

Which was awesome.