That’s basically what we do for you, when it comes to Groupon deals. We scour through them and choose the ones that we think you will really dig. Like this one. The radio controlled helicopter of your dreams. This thing is so rad and so easily to fly – I can promise you that you will be hovering in your living room within 10 minutes of charging the thing.

So do yourself a favour and CLICK HERE to get your helicopter now!

Someone appears to have unleashed an online attack on SA home retail store @home’s Facebook page. The attacker posted a pornographic picture of a woman performing fellatio. According to reports, the woman is one of the @home buyers. Follow the link for more (Warning – although this somehow managed to appear on @home’s Facebook page, it is DEFINITELY not suitable for work):

UPDATE:

@Home have apologised:

Here is a comment that appeared on the source website, giving some clarity to the story:

CLICK HERE FOR FACEBOOK PAGE SCREENSHOT

CLICK HERE for the source of this story - fishley.co.za

Anyone know who the guy was that did this?

For some reason it hasn’t arrived on the US iTunes yet (get your US iTunes account here) and I was starting to chew on the table legs. Thank goodness I could stop doing that because, boom, the DVD is available at Kalahari! You know how awesome this movie is going to be? Enjoy these reviews:

Ambitiously constructed, deeply compelling, thrilling and in no way only for those who like watching cars drive in circles. A worthy paean to a true talent.
- Empire

A documentary with the pace of a thriller, a story of motors and machines that is beyond compelling because of the intensely human story it tells.
- Los Angeles Times

Not that I needed them to tell me that. I was always going to own this beautiful piece of cinematic brilliance!

CLICK HERE to buy Senna on DVD

Quite a nice Christmas present, hey?

Reception of the programme DOWNTON ABBEY was predominantly positive; ratings were extremely high for what is usually considered a ‘genre’ show, and the first series picked up a number of awards and nominations after its initial run. It has subsequently become the most successful British costume drama since the 1981 television serial version of Brideshead Revisited, and in 2011 it entered the Guinness Book of World Records as the ‘most critically acclaimed television show’ for the year, becoming the first British show to win the accolade. [more here]

The more informed of you would have watched season one already, and will be very pleased to know that you can buy season two online. The WHOLE of season two for just over 300 bucks.

It’s too easy.

CLICK HERE to buy Season Two of Downton Abbey.

OR IF YOU NEED TO CATCH UP
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD BUY SEASON ONE AND TWO TOGETHER

IN ONE AWESOME BOX SET
FOR YOUR FRIENDS OR FAMILY

FOR CHRSITMAS EVEN?

QUITE NICE…

CLICK HERE to buy Season 1 & 2 Box Set

The community station started broadcasting in August 2008. Since its launch, the channel has faced numerous challenges including a struggle with ICASA to renew it’s license. Things have been resolved and the channel now has a seven year license.

Station manager Karen Thorne:

CTV has grown substantially over the past three years and has doubled its income in each year of operation. We are now on a sound financial footing and we are planning for the migration to digital broadcasting because we expect to be carried on a digital multiplex towards the end of 2013.

[Source: TVSA]

Don’t know what it’s about, but they’ve got free mojitos for everyone!

Surely the Bacardi or Cuervo or Olmeca* tequila brand managers should get hold of the organisers, so they can “own” the mojitos?

Oooh, yeah… It could be a hugely successful “activation.”

Makes me so hot.

Imagine the level of direct brand engagement?

Mmmmm. So good.

So many photos and tweets.

Your brand will be dry-humping all “mobile social media platforms” for four hours.

Opinion leaders.

Decision makers.

Status updates.

Viral halo effects ‘n shit.

* Or maybe Patron should get involved. Are they still in South Africa? Did they get much “penetration?”

The series follows mom Jacqui and her daughters Alex, Dani and Roche in a behind-the-scenes reality show, set in Charly’s Bakery in Cape Town. This local TV production was filmed over the last 10 months and each episode – although following real events – is themed around various dramas.

Here’s what well-known TV critic, Thinus Ferreira, had to say after seeing a sneak-peak of the show:

Charly’s Cake Angels is carefully constructed to show the depth of the various cake characters - proof that South Africa really does have the TV production talent to make great reality television. Charly’s Cake Angels has just the right sprinkling of drama, mixed with quality ingredients like fascinating characters, jaw-dropping challenges and some self-referential humour. Perhaps the most striking thing of Charly’s Cake Angels is the colour. Almost painfully so. The sheer amount of creative work, an abundance of cakes in vivid rainbow colours, magical creations created over many hours that will be destroyed and that you know will be completely consumed, is almost too much to take in. Then there’s the delicious dynamic sure to be explored further in upcoming episodes between mom Jacqui and her daughters who all work in this crazy cake castle. The camera work from Cooked in Africa Films, and the editing, gives a clear sense that it’s expertise at work in skillfully filming and portraying both food as well as people, once again mixing these two ingredients to create a very visually revealing story of very high quality.

[Source: TV with Thinus]

So anyway, I came back this weekend and popped into the Camps Bay Friendly Store to get supplies for the Safe House. I was picking up a bit of this and bit of that and BANG, right there in the dairy section was Kiri cream cheese!

Well suck me sideways, I said to myself, as I grabbed a couple boxes!

I snapped a pic and just remembered right now to tell you about it. I’m sure it’s available at Giovanni’s and the like. So if you haven’t tried it – get it – it’s yummy!

Now if only the Friendly Store would stock Braun toothbrush heads and Essentiale, as I so politely requested a month ago…

Check out our latest acquisition – the 2oceansvibe logo – on canvas baby!! We went for wrap-around print, rather than white edges. It’s like a grab-around, but different.

You notice that this particular beast has pride of place in the 2oceansvibe Media ‘Situation Room’ – that’s where we all sit and control our army, which cruises around town, shooting people in the face.

Check how rad it looks:

CLICK HERE to read the original article, which explains how this whole thing works. It’s too easy. I’ve got canvas prints of nearly everything now. I did a big one for a friend – using a pic of all of us visiting her farm in the Karoo. You know – as a thank you. She peed herself when I gave it to her.

No spice.

Peed herself.

You can do the same to your friends. Flowers are boring – get some canvas..

www.printwild.co.za

Like this. Think about this very carefully. There is not one person I know who doesn’t dig the idea of a great pair of shades to protect their peepers. Even you. Some people want to go big, with flashy names everywhere, whereas others go for a more subtle vibe. Personally, I dig chicks’ shades. Got a pair of Diors this week – very naughty! Oh, and a pair of Persols (were you aware that most of the coolest people in the world wear Persol? It’s true. Look here).

The point is, everyone knows that quality/designer sunglasses can get a bit pricey. Sure they can. But you weigh up the quality and eye-protection with the fact that they make you look incredibly awesome, and it all makes sense. But sometimes it is the person’s first time buying pricey shades and they still can’t convince themselves.

I get a lot of people asking for me to plug them in for secret discounts at every single one of the 2oceansvibe brands, and everyone is getting along just swell “living the holiday” (the feeling one gets when enjoying zero-annoyance and quality products). And when it comes to Sunglass Hut, I’m usually able to organise 20% or so discount (similar to the 2ocansvibe Puma discount of 20%). That often gets people very excited.

Which is why I am telling you how important this article is. This is perhaps the moment that you realise, “Oh my God, I need a new pair of shades,” because, let’s face it, you do. Everyone does. But you never get them because they’re too expensive. And then you get angry with people that don’t mind dropping that kind of tom. By Friday you’re wearing skinny jeans and a trilby and hanging with your new group of ‘like-minded’ people.  Well, you can stop your whining, sunshine.

Listen to this: There is a ridiculous 30%-off (or 40% if you buy two pairs) sale going on at Sunglass Hut at the moment. I want you to grasp now how useful this information is. This is not another sale. This is THE sale that EVERYONE has been waiting for.

This, my friends, is VERY IMPORTANT NEWS. It seriously is – don’t pretend it’s not.

Take your buddy or your chick or your boyfriend and get 40% off your shades if you buy a pair each. do it with great urgency. The Offer only runs for a month or so.

Come on. That’s pretty much half price. They basically giving away free shades at Sunglass Hut.

Think of how many car-guards you will be able to pay with the money you saved..

Seriously.

Maybe it’s time you grew up a little.

Water has no taste. It has nothing to offer me besides brutal simplicity. Which is why we love a whole host of beverages besides water. That’s why you had coffee this morning, and not a nice steamy cup of boiled water.

Still, you can’t beat the health benefits of drinking water. It’s a basic fuel/reward principle. Your body is happy when you drink water, and it rewards you for it.

Conundrum. We want something more than water, but we want health.

Solution: Flavoured water. Surely, hey? I mean, it’s water, so it’s healthy, but it’s also interesting!

Except, there’s a problem here, and that problem is deceit. Listen carefully, there are people deceiving you and me. They’re telling us that their flavoured water is healthy, when in fact it’s laden with preservatives, artificial flavourants, coulourants, and sugar. LOTS of sugar. We have a big problem with flavoured drinks that masquerade as health drinks, while actually slowly conspiring to kill you from heart disease and diabetes.

Buchulife Herbal Water has come to the party just in time to save us from a life of blindness and tingling fingertips.

You know what’s in their water? Water, gas, and buchu oil. That’s all. It’s 100% natural and organic, straight out of the Cape Floral Kingdom, and it makes you feel great.

Look, I don’t have to tell you that the buchu plant is nature’s medicine cabinet. You have wikipedia for that. In a nutshell, Buchulife Herbal Water contains the essential vitamins and antioxidants needed by the body to combat free-radicals and enhance general wellbeing. I’m fine with that.

We have a fridge of Buchu Life’s Herbal Buchu Water in the office, and we love the stuff.

I can personally recommend the sparkling lime. It’s just how I roll.

Check out their website, here.

Hey guys! Whatsup?

How cool are those two guys right there? Such a refreshing change from those Ralph Lauren Polo shirts rolling around town. You know, the ones with the oversized embroided pony and rider – generally worn by freaks. The cool thing about these shirts is you cruise-in and, seeing you from far, people have already started to judge you. They’re going like, “Oh God, look at this prick with his oversized-logo Polo golf shirt.” But then you get closer and, as they notice that it is not an embroided pony, but rather a warrior, their feelings of hatred for you immediately switch to that of jealousy – a wonderful vibe to witness. It is at that EXACT moment that you turn unto them, look them directly in the eyes and say, “hey!” It is at that point that they collapse and wade around in the ocean of cool you have just unleashed. I did that the other day on my way to the counter at vida e in Green Point. And if you thought that was enough, you should have seen the reception I got at the counter? The vida e staff basically lost their minds – I got high fives all round. I felt truly accepted by them – all thanks to my new TRMNL golf shirt. Elias, I should add, was particularly impressed.

Merchants On Long – quietly stocking TRMNL Clothing

So do yourself a favour and pop in at 2oceansvibe’s favourite store on Long Street, Merchants On Long – and check out the range of TRMNL gear – they’ve got the caps and T-shirts as well!

Seriously, that’s quite a cool vibe..

Not that the range of TRMNL stuff should be anyone’s main reason for going to Merchants on Long! Just being there is a treat in itself. I often just hang out there amongst the ferns, quietly enjoying the fashion, art and homeware sourced from around the continent.

Not that their website is any different – have a squizz right now at MerchantsOnLong.com – some say it’s magical..

One great aspect of the Design Indaba is the opportunity for the greater public to vote for the Most Beautiful Object In South Africa (or MBOISA, if you dig trendy acronyms).

And, would you know it, one of 2oceansvibe’s partners, BOS Ice Tea, is up for the award. Check out this screen shot of their entry. I think you’ll agree, it’s a rather lovely thing indeed.

To vote for BOS, sms the code: MBOISA 9 to 34180. Smses cost R2, which is nothing when you consider that by correctly voting for the winner, you could win a R10 000 shopping voucher at the Design Indaba Online Shop. Shame, crap deal.

The MBOISA awards are presented by MINI, which, incidentally, also makes pretty objects.

I recently did some investigating, with a view to getting myself one for the new 2oceansvibe Media premises. You’ll never believe how much I found them for…

Ok first I want to tell you that I found out the name of the chair – it is a Herman Miller Aeron chair and it turns out there is only one place to buy them in South Africa – All Office. Seriously.. I gave the guys a tinkle and quickly learnt that this particular piece of furniture has been voted the ‘Design of the decade‘ and is featured in New York’s Museum of Modern Art.

What’s more, it’s not NEARLY as expensive as it used to be.

I acquired one in a snap and will gladly enjoy the 12-year 24-HOURS-A-DAY-USAGE Warranty. Did you hear what I said there? They are guaranteeing you it won’t break if you sit on it for 12 years, without ever leaving the chair. But don’t worry about getting piles – this thing isn’t known as ‘the most comfortable chair in the world,’ for nothing!

All I’m saying is they’re going for less than R6,000 at All Office. But that’s not the reason why All Office has partnered 2oceansvibe as our preferred supplier of office furniture. Oh no, it’s more than that. Besides the fact that we get on with the owner and his team like a house on fire, they just happen to be the EXCLUSIVE supplier of Herman Miller furniture. And Herman Miller is not just for the office, my friends.

Oh no…

Remember this design?

Yes, of course you do!

It’s called the Herman Miller Eames Lounge Chair. Follow that link and check out how many big movies the chair features in. Even Joey and Chandler had one in their apartment in Friends. I swear!

We’re big fans of anything ‘iconic’ here at 2oceansvibe…

Head on down to All Office and see what’s happening. Mention 2oceansvibe to the owner, Bernard, and I’m sure he’ll give you an even bigger discount than what he’s giving already.

CLICK HERE to find out more about the Aeron on Wikipedia..

Let me tell you more about this rail. It is so solid I wanted to cry when I first saw it. My guy confirmed that he weighs 90kg and he started doing pull-ups on it. No spice. The thing didn’t even bend. Keep in mind the rail was for La Muse from PopYaCollar – and she is quite fussy when it comes to things like this!

So do yourself a favour and buy it RIGHT NOW, ONLINE! You can pay by credit card and, if you make the order within office hours, it will be delivered to you within 24 hours.

CLICK HERE TO BUY YOUR RAIL NOW

Sex Toys for Valentine’s Day? Why not? Think beyond roses and candle light dinner and REALLY spice up your romance this year! It’s time to scratch the clichés, and give the gift of pleasure with a sex toy from passionfruit.co.za PLUS the first 100 lucky 2oceansvibe readers to place an order will receive a FREE Mini Vibrator worth R150!

passionfruit.co.za has a vast range of best-selling adult toys & lingerie to spice up your sex life. Whether you are one half of a loved-up couple or celebrating your singledom, there’s something that’s bound to excite you.

If you dare to be different, you can look forward to 2011 being your sexiest year yet. So get the flame burning in your bedroom and check out SA’s biggest selection of naughty things on passionfruit.co.za

To receive your FREE Mini Vibrator simply place an order (of any value) and validate the 6-digit voucher code “MYVIBE” during the check out process – and voilà – your order is on it’s way to you including a FREE sexy gift worth R150.

Regular visitors to the United States (of America) will be well aware of the incredible chains of “drug stores”, offering the widest range of pharmaceuticals known to man. And I’m not just talking about the drugs and medicine, I’m talking about personal hygiene products as well.

Enter Gold Bond.

I remember when The Roofer returned from a few years working in the US. He gave me a small container of Gold Bond and told me it would change my life. It was a pretty hot day and he urged me to sprinkle some on my testes and the all-important perineum. Moments later his prophecy came true. My life had changed. It was about 35 degrees outside and it felt like I had a cool breeze blowing through my underpants. I asked him who else knew about this.

“Only the guys with us in Vail,” he replied.

“Is there anything like this in South Africa,” I asked, excitedly.

“No, but please don’t tell anyone about it,” he asked.

It was to be our little secret.

Years went by and my last Gold Bond import was when I came back from my stint in Los Angeles, filming that web-series with Pauly Shore. I packed the biggest bottle they had, and it has lasted me over a year. It was only in the past month that I finally ran out. It was then I realised how reliant I was on Gold Bond. But rather than the addiction being a problem, it was more a case of being so much better informed than everyone else. Was the Gold Bond perhaps my secret for staying so cool, both literally and figuratively?

I mean, think about it – if you’re cool down there you perform better – in business and socially. You’re less bothered than everyone else. It is quite clear that Gold Bond is my edge over the rest. Everyone else is operating in a hot, muggy environment, while I’ve got personal air conditioning down there. It’s an immediate and massive advantage!

Marilyn knew about the massive advantage

Now let me tell you something else – I have imported a limited amount of Gold Bond body powder (Extra Strength and Triple Action Relief) and I am allowing you, the 2oceansvibers, an opportunity to purchase this “white gold.”

I should add that I had this stock flown over on a Lear Jet. What with the soaring temperatures we are currently experiencing in South Africa, I simply couldn’t wait for slower, cheaper delivery.

That said, the bottles (very large – see size compared to hand in above picture) are being sold at a premium. I assure you the margin is very low, and the price (although quite reasonable for those who know Gold Bond) is merely a result of the expensive transport.

Click link below to buy yours.

CLICK HERE TO BUY YOURS NOW!

Speaking of stories, check out the one circled on the cover – follow link to enlarge.

Buy it now – at all good news agents..

A far cry from previous encounters..

And for those of you who aren’t aware of the Robertsons Salt & Vinegar seasoning, this is the one you need. Personally I put on just enough to make me cough when I inhale the air above the popcorn. Only then is there enough.

Get it.

Think about that. I’m acting out my love for you.

Anyhow.

I was pacing through my inbox yesterday, setting fire to 427 emails that all started with “Hey, I have this great idea”, when I came upon yet another slice of spam.

“Ah, more food for the hungry trash can,” I thought to myself, out loud, as I do when I feel powerful and self-satisfied.

And literally miliseconds before I made the click to bin the piece of advertising dross, I spotted something important.

A name. A name I knew. A name many of you will know. I hadn’t heard from this name in a while.

I took a sip of Pimms, and delved into the netherworld of the email trash can, making a hasty rescue of the email.

And there it was, the name. It was tacked on to the end of a financial services advertisment. Michael Furter. Could it be? Could it be the prodigal 2oceansvibe character, The Wedding Singer?

I picked up my phone. I dropped Furter a text (please see phone rules, here). I asked if he was involved in the company in this advert.

He called me, and I answered (true story, this was a planned phone call – not one of those random ear rapes that everyone seems so keen on). Turns out he was involved in this company.

Long story short, I want you to know two things.

1) The Wedding Singer is alive and well, and he spent this last weekend sleeping on his couch.

2) He spent the whole weekend sleeping on his couch because he’s been a very busy boy setting up a company with a very similar spirit to 2oceansvibe (as 2oceansvibers do). It’s called Consequence, and it’s a financial services company that does investments, financial planning, wills, the whole shebang. Only they’re quite cool, because they’re not trying to screw you for all you’re worth, like the majority of financial services providers, and as it turns out, they don’t speak to you in Greek or ebonics, meaning you can actually understand what you’re being told, or sold, for that matter.

You now have a trusted financial services provider that falls squarely in the Vibe. I’m giving them my trust, so should you. And if you ever have any problems, you come talk to me, because that’s how the vibe operates.

Just one more part of your life made easier by 2oceansvibe. Thank me later.

Lovies

Daddy Cool (AKA Seth)

This joins William Webb-Ellis picking up a soccer ball instead of kicking it, and Francois Pienaar raising the Webb-Ellis trophy in 1995 as one of the great rugby related moments of all time. The calendars are selling for R100 each with at least the first R5000 raised going towards the Acorn Initiative, a mentorship program for underprivileged children, and any surplus going towards the team’s annual tour fund. The Acorn Initiative offers guidance to children who don’t have access to great role models or a safe space to develop their own opinions and practice expressing themselves. The initiative takes them on outings, pays for outdoor activities and really just gives them a chance to be kids, allowing them to develop interests that might help them aspire to more than what they believe they deserve right now.

The line-up includes a Men’s Health cover model and a well-known former Caprice barman. The calendar is not explicit and all naughty bits are covered by props. Excuse the pun. Please support the team and their cause by ordering a calendar whether for your desk at work, as a light hearted Christmas stocking filler or just in support of the good nature of the endeavour. Contact doclouw@gmail.com for any orders or queries.

That’s why we are so proud of Marina and The Little Black Book who have just launched their new website, which gives an astounding showcase of everything they do (and have done – my God!) – from events, functions, PR, weddings, decor and promotions, this full-function agency’s list of successes is OUTRAGEOUS!

You should check out their website and find out more about the ridiculous list of clients and testimonials they have.

THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK – FIRST FOR CUSTOM EVENTING

The thing about Marina and The Little Black book is Marina has known virtually every one of the people and celebs on her guest list since they were kids. You can’t train someone to have connections like she has. I’ve been mates with her since I was 12, this chick IS Cape Town. Who do you think organises all The Vibe parties?

And don’t even get me started on her guest list – the mixture of sports personalities (real sports personalities) models (real models), corporates/ execs, glamorous socialites and a media list to die for, is simply off the hook! Who do you think orchestrated the recent World Cup party which Leo Di Caprio and Mick Jagger attended? Come on, man – get real!

They always over-deliver when it comes to generating media coverage and I can vouch for this from my personal experience – there are always flashbulbs and guaranteed post-event media coverage due to the excellent way Marina, Jules & Gabi (check out the team here) handle the press no matter how hectic the event. Top Billing, Showbiz Report, SKY News, Cape Times, Heat, All Access, Argus, Sunday Times – whatever, I’m getting bored – the list is too long.

You only get one shot to do it properly – don’t mess around – do yourself a favour and get in touch with THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK .

We’ve already had that conversation about how we don’t make phone calls unless absolutely necessary, right? We text first. Okay? Okay.

But some of you came to me recently, with palms outstretched and contrite hearts, expressing your immense pain at not being able to text at work without alerting the boss to a lack of productivity. Fingers on keyboards was all that mattered. Others still bemoaned the irksome cost of texting given the generally uncompetitive rates offered by our cellular network operaters.

While, under no circumstances do I condone these evils called “work” and “peak smses”, I understand that we have to make the best of a bad situation. So I did a little soul (and Google) searching, and I’ve found out more about this delicious little service called FSMS.co.za, which you might have seen featured in the banners of this very website.

in English, it translates to FREE SMS.co.za.

But all YOU have to remember is FSMS.co.za

Send and Receive SMSs for FREE!!
FSMS.CO.ZA

It’s okay, really, you can start smiling a little now. But not too much, you haven’t read the rest.

And get this, you can send smses for free. See what they did with their name there? It’s kind of like how I do my best to bring the VIBE to you, so I call myself 2oceansvibe, and they give you free smses, so they call themselves FREE sms. I think The Marketer calls that kind of thing, “synergy”.

But back to the meat of the issue: How do you get up and running with free smses?

Step one, cruise over to fsms.co.za, and complete the registration process. You’re all big boys and girls, so you shouldn’t struggle with that too much.

Once that’s done, you’re pretty much ready to fire off multitudes of free smses. But if you’re like me, you’ll have your contacts saved in a CSV file.

Stay with me now.

Upload the CSV to your profile on fsms.co.za, and your contacts are loaded faster than you can say “concatenated text message”.

But you know, not everyone’s got a handle on their gear, so please, by all means, add your contacts manually, one by one. Or don’t add them at all, just punch in the destination number whenever you send an sms. Whatever floats your trillion dollar yacht.

FREE SMS ONLINE!
Easiest way to make money is not to spend it!

Naturally your number is tacked on to the end of the sms, so your buddies know who’s text-bombing them.

And I know that some of you naughties like hanging out on the Facebook during office hours. That’s OK. You can send free smses from Facebook, using the FSMS Facebook App. Communication, simplified. Boom.

But most promising of all is that you can actually take this service mobile. FSMS.co.za is available on your mobile via wap, but a little blue bird tells me they’ve developed iPhone, Android and Java apps! Very naughty!

I hear Floyd Shivambu’s cell number is 082 819 9474. Get cracking, beautiful babies.

On second thought, only send Floyd a message if you’re his friend. I mean what I say and you know what I mean.

“Sure thing,” I told her. “Do I have to pose or something? ‘Cos if I do it’s gonna be tricky, as I struggle to sit still. Unless maybe I could play with my iPad while we do it?”

“No, no,” she replied. “I’ve got just the picture!”

“Oh…. which one is that?” I enquired, nervously.”

Justifiably so, as it seems she had chosen this picture taken from my on-stage Celine Dion miming session I did with Ard Matthews for “The Vibe” party earlier this year!

God help us all!

But there was nothing to worry about because, as it turns out, this chick’s got talent!

  
Baby, think twice…
NO NO NO NOOOO!

We met for a drink at the Cape Royale hotel the other night and I must just say that she is the sweetest angel I have met in a long time. Having held on for as long as possible in Zimbabwe, Taf finally moved here and paid her way through Engineering at UCT by selling paintings. Oh, and she is self-taught. JA, I know – it’s ridiculous. But there is more to her story, which you will learn when you meet her. Her Zim chapter doesn’t even begin to tackle the challenges she has faced and overcome.

“Fattered” doesn’t even begin to describe how knocked-out I am about this. Thank you, Taf, you have a special gift and I think what you’re doing is amazing.

Just to fill you all in,

Sketchbooktrails is the web-based art initiative of the artist, Tafadzwa Mukwashi (Taf). She has recently started work on a collection of 100 portraits entitled “Facing a Century” with the first of the portraits being of the music duo, Dominic Peters and David Poole of the world renowned band, Goldfish, who have just recently completed a tour in Brazil. Whether it takes a year or a decade, she intends to have successfully completed 100 portraits of real people.

Sketchbooktrails not only proves that much can be accomplished from whatever background someone comes from through sheer perseverance and effort. It also is a great testament to the great resource that the African girl-child and African women are. It is the success story of a young black immigrant living in South Africa.

Previous exhibitions of Taf’s paintings include a sold-out solo exhibition, Nature’s Child in 2003 in Picasso’s Gallery, Zimbabwe held in support of Childline, the Ekurhuleni Fine Art Award 2006 Finalist Exhibition in Johannesburg in 2006, ‘Contemporary Visions of Southern Africa’ Exhibition at the Pretoria Art Museum in 2007 and the “Justice For All” Art Auction at the Goethe Institute in 2008 held in support of the Legal Resources Centre (LRC).

For more information on Taf, to become one of the 100 faces of “Facing a Century” or to apply to be a featured artist on the Global Dialogue on Art 2010 please go to www.sketchbooktrails.com.

* Seriously make sure you go to that website, you gotta see this angel’s gallery – mind blowing!

CLICK IMAGE to enlarge – if you can’t read the small print

Aah, so it looks like the Uruguayan’s could have scored a free Coca-Cola if they had lost yesterday!

Yes, this ad obviously came out before yesterday’s game. Apologies for the lateness, I was busy making love to a supermodel at the time.

This, kids, is how we used to roll..

Hey, I recognise that guy in the glasses at the 4:13 mark.

Anybody?

[thanks rich]

Pond’s Moisturizer – I’m fine with it

It’s called “Oil Control Cleansing foam,” which, in straight, means “face wash.”

Everything about it is awesome – I have no idea what makes it go, but my face feels so goddamn fresh afterwards I can’t tell you! And with just a small amount on your hands, a bit of rubbing produces a stunning lather – with small little beads in it which act as a very mild exfoliator.

Everyone has been commenting on my incredible “glow” (whilst remaining “matte”) and I urge you to join the Pond’s movement which I would like to kickoff right now.

This product is not only for women, but also gay and straight men alike!

Thank you, Cate, for the heads up.

Or should I say the face up!!

HAHAHAHA!!!

Worst joke ever sorry.

Oh, it’s in Epping, Cape Town (no spice).

I tell you what, if I was ever looking to buy hard-core industrial machinery, I would look no further than Marriot..

[thanks ru]

Get your wing-mirros before the world cup starts!

Quite mean! I think I might just have to get that for the Jag – what with the Poms invaded our country, we need to show a united force, right?

But wait, Kika Promotions didn’t stop there. You are more than welcome to go the full hog, and indulge your inner-most desires to own and wear a “Makapara” – yes, that’s wait they call these things (not to be confused with a “mampara,” which is what we call you behind your back).

Better yet, you can put your brand of the front of the thing! I’ve just ordered 100 for 2oceansvibe! No spice!

They call it a “Makapara”

I know, it’s completely and utterly off the charts!

They’ve also got scarves, beanies, hand drums, Kika-Sack balls and lots more – all waiting for your branding!

And you’ll almost definitely get 10% off if you mention 2oceansvibe.

That’s right – You just let the good people at KIKA PROMOTIONS know that you are a 2oceansviber and wait to see what happens.

For more info:

Contact: colin@kika-sack.com or info@kika-sack.com

Website: www.kika-promo.com

  
Lose the wallet, buddy..

If you don’t know what I’m talking, then I strongly suggest you read the original AMMO article we posted. Since that day I cannot tell you how much money I’ve spent without seeing the money or using my wallet! I’ve gone through virtually the entire Osumo menu. I’m starting to look like a wrap!

“Hi, could I have the Rotherham Wrap, please?

“Are you sure you want that? It’s quite spicy?”

“Fine, that’s the way I like it.”

“Sure thing!”

“Oh, could I get that with extra vibe and a sprinkling of supermodels?”

“Absolutely no problem!”

Finally, a reason to use the SA iTunes store!

All iPhone users can now download AMMO by simply searching for “AMMO” in the app store on their iPhones. (There is an icon link to “App Store” on all iPhones). If you browse applications, it is under either the lifestyle or finance sections.

It is only live on the South African App store, so if you have an “American” or overseas apple account on the App Store, you should switch over briefly to get this done.

Remember that the application only works reliably if you turn off your 3G (under “settings”). Personally, I’ve never done that and it has always worked perfectly. But I heard this make cause a hassle so, if you struggle, that is the reason!

Happy spending, without spending

CLICK HERE for more info on AMMO..

It’s basically the ultimate Camps Bay one-bedroom suite!

The Cams Bay Terrace Suite

Check it out:

The ultimate one bedroom accommodation in Camps Bay, the Suite Apartment offers the perfect retreat for a couple looking for some privacy, be it a honeymoon or just some time together. The apartment has fantastic views of Bakoven Bay, the Twelve Apostles and the Atlantic. It has an en-suite bedroom, lounge and open plan dining room and kitchen.

A separate entrance provides access from off-street parking on Camps Bay Drive via a flight of stairs opening up fantastic views over Bakoven Bay. This entrance patio has a full complement of garden furniture and a barbeque, and is the perfect place for alfresco dining and being out of the midday sun. A large sliding door gives direct access from the lounge.

Inside, the lounge is well furnished with a sofa, two casual chairs and a coffee table. Satellite television, a DVD player and a small selection of books will keep you entertained. The dining area and open plan kitchen are adjacent to the lounge, and make the entire apartment perfect for casual entertaining and living.

Shame

Very kak

The kitchen is fully equipped with quality appliances including glass-top hob, under-counter oven, fridge-freezer, microwave oven, dishwasher, washing machine and tumble dryer. The bedroom is comfortably furnished in modern style with a queen-sized bed. The en-suite bathroom has toilet, basin, bath and overhead shower.

If you do want to get a tan, the bedroom opens up onto a protected sun terrace with a solar-heated splash pool. Two modern sun loungers are the perfect place to lie and soak up the African sunshine.

The apartment is in a fantastic location, within an easy four-minute stroll to the beach and the Camps Bay Promenade with its many restaurants and bars, live music and theatre. It is not suited for guests with walking problems as it is accessed by stairs.

Included:

Daily Servicing: Monday – Saturday except Public Holidays

Laundry Service

Concierge Service

All Linen and Towels

Pool Towels

Toiletries
Satellite TV

[more here + pics]

That’s pretty sweet, I must say!

Or should I say “suite?”

Sorry – worst joke of the year….

So, to recap : 35% off advertised rates for the dates 30 April to 6 May or 20% discount on advertised rates from 11 to 14 May!

CLICK HERE to check out more pics and info about that suite.

CLICK HERE for the whole of 2oceansvibe Villas.

But not cool enough, for the serious beer-drinkers out there, it seems..

The more laddish lads out there will be enthused at the suggestion of this new beer aquapack device; which allows you to not only carry large volumes of beer, but also gives you that beer belly you have always desired. Finally, you can fit right in when you visit your buddies in the North.

I give you, The Beer Belly :

No, I am not kidding you.

I would never joke around about something like this.

Check it out for yourself at www.thebeerbelly.com

[thanks dave]

  
Yes – we approve..

Go to the market.

Find them.

Buy them.

Eat them.

Oh, and if you have any more info about these little bastards, leave a comment.

Ta.

VC is hosting an exhibition of prints taken from African Goal, as well as combining the evening as the official launch of the actual book. The most anticipated football-themed book for 2010, is now available to you.

African Goal, is a photographic showcase and celebration of Football on the continent. Its tactical launch co-incides with the first ever football world cup on African soil. The book shows the cross section and close link between Africa’s super star footballers and the fans. It also illustrates the sheer joy and hope football brings to Africa’s children in very poor and rural communities. Countries include South Africa, Mozambique, Kenya, Ghana and the Ivory Coast.

The Authors : Andrew Verster Cohen, a photographer and producer by trade who has been in the photo industry in Europe and South Africa for the past 10 years.

Frederic Benistant is a creative director on Woolworths at Agency, Jupiter Drawing Room, Cape Town.

I have had the privilege of seeing the book (will be getting my own copy tomorrow night at the launch!) and I can tell you right now that this book takes you to places you have never been before and shows you African football that is not commonplace in the 1st world. It is, without doubt, the ultimate coffee-table book for every home. And what a perfect gift for foreigners looking for something authentic and away from the mainstream clutter.

Check out this incredible promotional video, to give you a small taste of what you’re in for.

Exhibits will be on sale

Second floor overlooking the courtyard

Drinks and snacks to be served.

Where: Waterkant Street, Cape quarter building.

Date: Thursday 22nd april.

Time: From 5.30pm till late.

Oh, one more thing. VC is giving away one signed copy of the book during the course of the evening. If you want to win the competition, all you have to do is walk up to me at the event between 18h30 and 19h30 and whisper in my ear, “how about me and you go outside and score our own goal..’

See you there

Please appreciate “Hide-a-beer” :

Drink beer without fear of being arrested

It’s a pack of stickers displaying tame cool-drink looking brands, which you stick on your beer can to avoid detection. It wraps around perfectly!

How stunning is that?

“Diet Wow” is just one brand they used – wait until you see the others!

Sis, don’t be rude – I know you’ve come very close to seeing my other package, but that’s not the one I’m talking about!

  
MWEB’s latest offering – uncapped broadband

Ok so as you can imagine, I chow through quite a lot of data – around 25Gb a month. Now that’s a helluva lot, even for small to medium sized companies, but it’s not just for my surfing and email needs. Now pay attention – I promise you need to hear this and will be glad you listened.

A while back we chatted about iTunes and how you can get a US account for your media needs – allowing you access to all the American music and movies and apps available on iTunes (our local offering features close on f-all). Then what you do is you buy iTunes vouchers with your normal credit card (US iTunes account won’t allow foreign credit cards) and redeem then via iTunes. Morally I don’t have a problem with this – the people who produced the media are being paid, and it’s better than the only other alternative which is stealing it for free online. But I’m not getting into that debate (if there is one?) right now.

All of that said, my incredibly large data usage comes from the fact that each movie on iTunes is about one gig. So I’ve got an Apple TV (you can get them at Digicape) connected to my plasma (and linked to my US iTunes account) which let’s me buy or rent movies (or TV shows) instantly ($3.99 to rent – around R30 – and a little bit more if you want HD). You don’t even need computer with this thing. I choose a movie, watch the trailer, click “ok” to pay and it starts playing the movie after 30 seconds (minimal buffer required with the 4Mb line). Obviously you could do this all with a slower line, you will just have to wait longer.

I don’t have that kind of time.

Over the last two week I paid for and watched The Bounty Hunter, An Education, The Hurt Locker, Food Inc., Precious, Zombieland, Up In The Air, The Informant and Bad Lieutenant – all of which are either on the local circuit, or haven’t got there yet. At a gig a piece, I would have been paying an extra R70 a movie with Telkom – and that’s before you factor in all the surfing and Weather Girls videos and downloads and all the crap you send me!

I listen to Johnny Vaughan on London’s Capital FM online through streaming audio and I speak to my friends and family for hours on Skype. I also receive some emails which are 20Mb in size and I don’t bat an eyelid.

I downloaded an 8Mb file the other day and it took 16 seconds. I was with Dave from Goldfish – ask him about it when you see him. He nearly shat himself.

This is where we are, guys. Seriously, get with it.

Get an uncapped broadband line at your place and start off with a normal (what you’re used to) speed like 512kbps. WITH line rental it costs R599. If you have an EXISTING Telkom line, it’s only R299 a month. Then you keep that line with Telkom and switch your data over to MWEB.

They have cheaper and slower than that available, but I’m afraid I won’t allow it.

I had a 4Mb Telkom account but switched over to MWEB and kept the Telkom line. So all I am paying MWEB is R539 a month (plus theTelkom 4Mb line for R362 a month). I’m saving over a grand a month.

Switching over from the existing Telkom vibe to MWEB took, literally, half an hour. I was on the phone to the MWEB guy and he told me exactly what to do. Then I called Telkom and cancelled my data, but kept the line. Honestly, it was too easy.

If you don’t think you need it, that’s because you’ve never had it. You’re just as restricted in your thinking as you are with your internet access. Which kind of makes sense if you look at where the world is right now. You cannot afford to carry on the way you are. You WILL get left behind. FACT. You simply cannot afford to stay in the dark any longer.

Grow up – get an uncapped MWEB account, and enjoy the revelation.

Check it out:

Ever dreamed of discussing the state of fashion with Karl Lagerfeld or the benefits of Restylane with Donatella Versace, all over some tea and crumpets? If you’re looking to have some imaginary conversations with the fashion glitterati, check out these Prêt-à-portea tea bags. Just be careful with Naomi Campbell—if the convo doesn’t go well, you could end up with tea in your face.

Very cool, I must say.

I’m seriously considering getting a few of my own made. Then you could quietly get a teabagging from me, anytime you want! Now that’s convenience!

I’d get a pack of 100, if I were you.

You know how you get..

[thanks lancelot]

As loved as they were, that particular cut disappeared a few years ago. And it is because of that travesty that we see the launch of this Levi’s 507 “Bring Back” campaign.

Check out the Levi’s 507 BRING BACK Facebook page HERE!

The popularity of that particular cut of Levi’s jeans is quite phenomenal. The feedback in the comments section of our previous article, as well as on that Facebook page shows overwhelming support for this old legend. That’s probably why we’ve been comparing it to Polaroid cameras and Alex Jay!

Well enjoy this. I have managed to secure a pair of Levi’s 507 jeans for YOU! Oh yes!

I have one pair of Levi’s 507 jeans that will be made available to me, in your size, if you manage to win this impromptu competition I’ve devised!

She knows the drill..

HOW TO WIN A PAIR OF LEVI’S 507 JEANS

1) Send an email to editor@2oceansvibe.com with the subject “Levi’s 507 BRING BACK!”

2) Include a full length photograph of yourself dressed up the way you would be if you had just won your Levi’s 507 jean pant. But because you don’t have your Levi’s 507 jeans yet, that means you will be wearing everything in the photograph, except your pants. I bet you still look good..

3) Competition winner will be announced on Monday 22nd March.

4) Judges decision is final and winner will be chosen in terms of pure awesomeness – nothing else.

GO! GO! GO!

But let’s focus on The Rotherham pizza for now. I’ll get straight to the point, the secret of The Rotherham pizza is that it comes “pre-tweaked.” The true Butlers pizza connoisseurs out there will know than you can pimp your pizza slightly. I’m not talking about the toppings, I’m talking about tweaking it. Like asking for a “thin base,” rather than standard base.

It’s on the left of the menu, in the orange highlight.
CLICK MENU to enlarge

So I’ll kickoff by telling you that The Rotherham comes STANDARD with a thin base. But wait, that’s not all. If you call in the next 10 minutes Enjoy this, it comes standard with only HALF the normal portion of pizza cheese. That’s right. That’s how I like it. Neat and tidy.

Look at you… you want to order one and I haven’t even told you the ingredients yet! Are you ready to hear them? Ok, it’s quite simple..

Bacon, Salami and Feta, with only half the normal cheese, on a thin base.

Hey?

What did I tell you?

Give me a break!

Try “The Rotherham” WITH NoMU peri-peri..

Order it now, but do yourself a favour and ask the lady on the phone to add some NoMU peri-peri to The Rotherham – then you’ll really be getting your vibe on. I just know you’ll love it!

Click the menu above to check it out. The phone numbers are on that as well.

CLICK HERE fo Butlers Pizza – Cape Town’s Number 1

As you all know, we don’t promote just any brands here on 2oceansvibe, and we often find ourselves turning down certain products and services. Filtering bullshit away from your eyes and ears is all part of the vibe. “Living the holiday” is more than just chilling out at the beach, it’s about engaging with pre-approved people and companies who don’t add stress to your life. Being able to avoid assholes is very much a part of living the holiday.

So back to the story, I was approached by a company called Ammo Mobile Money a few weeks ago with a mobile payment solution they have developed, allowing you to pay for goods and services with your PHONE. Yes, I know, it sounds complicated, but listen up.

I was pretty sceptical and told the beautiful people at Ammo that I couldn’t market their product to my readers unless I genuinely likes it and used it in my everyday life. “No problemo” they told me, confidently, as they sent instructions on how to install the app on my iPhone. (BTW, all wap-enabled phones can download ammo by going to www.ammo.mobi in their phone browsers and follow registration prompts. The whole process takes 4 minutes and is a once-off).

I checked out the shops that Ammo is currently linked to, including Sumo, Vida e, Mugg & Bean, Saul’s, Arnolds, Soupa, Kauai, Primi Piatti, Nando’s, with some big ones being added to the system in the pipeline). Not bad. Not bad at all! Oh, and you can buy things like electricity and even transfer money to your buddies.

My Ammo account was pre-loaded with R500 (nice touch), as I looked through the incredibly simple to use interface. You click one icon to load ammo onto your phone (via credit card or even EFT) and another button to spend ammo. It seemed very easy but I was yet to try it out.

A few days later I was cruising around the area, hungry, and I realised I didn’t have my wallet on me. Perfect! I thought to myself – I’ll go to Sumo and use my AMMO! The circumstances weren’t ideal, I’ll be honest. I had just had a small toke on a joint and was ever so slightly nervous. I hoped to God it was as easy as they promised.

I walked up to the counter, where I noticed the little Ammo logo on the till. Safe..

“Umm, hi there, could I please have a Chunky Chicken Wrap?”

“Sure,” the lady said, “that’s be R30.” I can’t remember if it was exactly R30, but there was definitely a “3″ in it.

I looked at the app and started to panic. The first button on the screen said “quick pay,” which I liked the look of. I clicked it and a randomly generated code came up on the screen. I stared blankly at the lady at the till and showed her my phone. She acted like everything was normal and typed the number into the till. Nice vibe.

Suddenly, as if by magic, my phone’s screen read, “Sumo R30 – ACCEPT or DECLINE”

“My God! It’s all happening!” I shrieked! “Accept!! Accept!!”

Transaction Complete, came the following message on the screen.

“Thank you very much,” said the young lady, as she handed over the slip and my Chunky Chicken Wrap.   I pretended everything was normal and walked away with the goods. After five strides I broke into a flat-out run. The paranoia from the weed had set in and I kept looking over my shoulder, waiting to be arrested for stealing – because that’s how it felt. My car was parked up the road in the Kloof Lifestyle Centre (free parking for first 30 minutes – Owwwehh!) and I hid inside the car park until the effects had worn off.

I stole this Chunky Chicken Wrap

But there was no crime – I had simply made my first mobile payment. Not only had it made my life simpler and better, but It was, simultaneously, the most amazing feeling I have felt in a long time.

Imagine getting that rush every time you spend money ammo?

That’s what I’m going to do anytime I can now. I’m going to spend Ammo wherever and whenever I can. Watch me.

I’m also going to urge all 2oceansvibe brands to get on board and allow Ammo payments. Then, when I’m done with that I’m going to urge every other retailer in Cape Town and South Africa to do the same. And howz this : You can even add a tip to the payment if you want!

You know how we like to keep up to date on what hot and happening?

Well THIS is happening. THIS is now.

You need to be a part of it. Trust me.

CLICK HERE and get some AMMO MOBILE MONEY now!

Take for instance my special tuna mayonnaise that I make The Dude from time to time, as we watch the live financial figures on CNBC.

But wait, I don’t need to TELL you about it, you can WATCH it right here! I did a special video showing you EXACTLY what to do in the kitchen!

* Slower connections should wait for window to load below this line. Wait for circle to stop. Press play then pause to let it load up fully before playing again

So there you go… the cats out of the bag.

Did you REALLY think my tuna mayo wouldn’t have something larney in it?

Whoomp! There it is!

Come now – you know me better than that..

NoMU Foods and Spices

.

Spling asks the question : When was the last time you spotted a gorgeous woman wearing nothing but cut-off jeans? I don’t think I ever have… that’s until today when I received this weekend marketing HTML email from Kalahari.net.

He makes a good point:

Okay, I know that sex sells – but this is ridiculous… this tanned beauty is not only topless, but looks as though her shorts have been painted on. Now I get the weekend vibe with palm trees in the background and maybe they only intended for males between 16-35 to receive this sassy little mailer, but come on… is this barely legal teen stuff really going to make me want to buy bestselling books, jewelery, watches, pens, electronics, DVDs, music and games up to 35% off?

Especially when what they’re selling is predominantly intended for indoor entertainment… see the connection? I’m actually sensing a strong 2OceansVibe breeze in this email, Tuesday Tabs… the palm trees… the weekend vibe. The only thing that doesn’t match up is the fact that this mailer was sent on a Saturday – which does not gel with the “work is a sideline” protocol. Don’t get me wrong, I love Kalahari.net... but this just came across as distinctly different to their usual marketing slant and I just had to say something. We’ll probably hear that a mailer advertising Kalahari.net’s “Spice” Shop got mixed up with the generic mailer stock photos or maybe they were just feeling naughty? Either way… I’m looking forward to what they come up with for next weekend – a guy in a g-string or maybe a nip slip? Eye-catching… yes, cheeky… yes, hard-sell… I’ll leave that for you to decide.

More from Spling here.

So let me get this straight… you’re saying that they’re using palm trees, suntans and beautiful topless women to sell their products?

That is RIDICULOUS! It’ll never work!

Funny, it reminds me of a professional jerk-off who emailed me three years ago saying, “fuck you, Seth – this won’t last forever – people will get tired of the fast cars and the beautiful women and the palm trees and the sunsets and the champagne.”

I’m sure they will. Eventually.

It’s on March 19th and there will be NO tickets sold at the door on the night . Now besides having the party of your life with the Wedding DJ’s and all the 2oceansvibe people that make up this beautiful place, your measly R80 will also get you:

- VIP entry to the party (because where we’re from EVERYONE is VIP.

- Delicious Canapés from Pomegranate catering

- Peroni beers and De Grendel wine on arrival.

- Lindt Chocolates (and yummy promo girls) and Evian water throughout the evening.

- Company including the various 2oceansvibe bands, brands, peoples and Weather Girls.

- The Wedding DJ’s, giving you the guaranteed party that they can’t help giving.

- Video of the night will be featured on the next 2oceansvibe DVD.

- The next 115 people that buy tickets from the time the article was published, will get a 20%-off voucher for Puma!

- One lucky 2oceansviber will win a 1 and a half hour sunset cruise with Peroni and 30 friends. Now THAT is a serious prize! Anyone who purchases 5 or more tickets for The Vibe party will automatically enter this draw!

Listen to me carefully now – This is NOT one of those parties where R80 gets you entry. This R80 gives you the most orgasmic evening of your life.

All the media, press, TV and radio stations will be there with their flashing light bulbs. Only the sexiest angels and only the best people – good people – 2oceansvibe people like you and me. No twats..

As I said, tickets are LIMITED and will NOT be sold at the door.

You snooze, you lose, ou pel!

CLICK HERE FOR FACEBOOK PAGE

CLICK HERE TO SECURE YOUR TICKET

Luckily, thanks to The Cool Hunter and EatDrinkChic, I am now able to show you.

This, my friends, is how I roll..

Pretty rad, don’t you think? Right up my street, and a lot of yours too I’m sure. Unfortunately they aren’t really making Hermes and Burberry fast food. This was merely a pitch to McDonalds for an upmarket pop-up restaurant for fashion week. The concept was to give McDonalds food a complete makeover and re-brand the fast food giant with an aesthetic suitable for a 5 star restaurant.

This, from The Cool Hunter :

Today’s demanding consumers expect even their beloved, favorite brands to step up their game. Many run-away online successes of offline brand “stunts” attest that consumers expect, and get really excited about, experiences that are unusual, fun, thought-provoking and emotionally engaging. With the power and immediacy of social media, surprising offline events and stunts have now turned into truly powerful promotional tools.

For McDonald’s, we envision a cool, surprising and fun mix of concepts. First is McFancy, an upmarket temporary McDonald’s store that launches at Fashion Weeks around the globe — London, New York, Paris, Milan, Sydney, Hong Kong. McFancy is part art installation, gathering spot and, of course, a restaurant that offers a traditional McDonald’s menu but packaged in a way that makes a playful yet stylish nod to the lifestyle of the highly desirable, influential consumers that attend Fashion Weeks.

It goes on. More here.

If you’re in the “ad games” or want to embrace “social media” and work on your “personal brand” then you should give the rest of that article a read.

Personally I’m just glad to be here, hanging with you guys, showing you pictures of burgers and stuff. That’s all I need. Seriously, I want for nothing. Just a supermodel here and there and some champagne. Dripping off.

Mmmm, you like that too, do you?

Why don’t you let me pour it over you now?

God, you’re so beautiful.

Louis Vuitton have announced the launch of a new women’s gifts catalogue with a romantic twist – just in time for Valentine’s Day! The timing couldn’t be better – I mean it’s one thing knowing where you will be spending Valentine’s Day, but what does one buy? Now that’s a different story!

Check it out out out:

“The Louis Vuitton Valentines 2010 Catalog for men and women includes the ultimate and elegantly unique gift ideas to celebrate any relationship on almost every budget.”

Now you’re speaking my language!

Come on, girls – let’s have a little squizz, shall we? Let’s covet these objects together:

I know! How divine?!

It’s been a while since I popped into the Cape Town Louis Vuitton store on the V&A Waterfront‘s Death Row.

Can’t wait!

[source:bornrich]

1800 Restaurant
Doesn’t mess around when it comes to steaks

They offer a range of succulent signature steaks, delectable meat dishes and shellfish. Their grill prepares the meat at a temperature of 1800° Fahrenheit (hence the name). The result is moist, tender, melt-in-your-mouth steak, accompanied by a wide variety of mouth-watering sauces from around the world.

Sound good? Ja well this will sound pretty good as well.

Check it out, they’re having a radical Rib-Eye steak promotion!

18hundreddegrees.com

I chow at 1800 a helluva lot, and assure you this is NOT to be missed! A meal like that with a little starter and glass of premium red thrown in should be going for nearly twice that price.

(Not that we should let our date know!)

In a surprise move, Bakers have launched a new sexually suggestive line of snacks which allude to male genitalia. With new ranges including the very direct “Eet-Sum-Mor Balls” and “Ginger Nuts Balls,” suggesting a more rouge plumage.

The provocative new angle is bound to satisfy a whole new type of customer.

CLICK HERE for new sexual Bakers product line

From a marketing perspective it’s no major surprise, as there is definitely room in the very niche sexual foods market – particularly in South Africa, where a number of adult shops are already selling various products, including chocolate body paint and the like.

But for a company whose image is supposedly 100% “family friendly,” one wonders how their more conservative customers are going to react to such a move?

Bakers Marketing Department could not be reached for comment.

That’s “white gold” right there, my baby..
Touch it. Touch yourself..

“Over-the-top,” you might say?

Not really. If anything is over the top, it’s the response I’ve had – my God! Models coming up to me, cooing, everywhere I go…

“Ooh, I luuurve your shades, Seth! Is that silver on the tips?”

“Thanks, baby. No, it’s actually white gold“

“White gold??!!”

“That’s right, mischief!”

“Oh my God, they’re stunning!”

“Ja, I know..”

BANG!

Here’s some interesting info for those of you who can get to Sunglass Hut fast enough before they’re all gone:

Ray-Ban, the world’s most famous eyewear brand, introduces an exclusive limited edition of its legendary Ray-Ban Wayfarer model, The Ray-Ban Ultra Wayfarer Limited Edition.

Oh yes…

The acetate frames are decorated with two 18-karat white gold inserts, the first on the temple end piece and the second near the hinge.

The two versions of this limited edition have different lens colours: the first has polarized green lenses, and the second has polarized lenses with a 24-karat gold mirrored finish. This limited edition of the Wayfarer will be sold in selected stores, with only 7,000 pieces (3,500 pieces per colour) available worldwide.

With only 3,500 pairs of the ones I’m wearing above, you can only image how few are here in South Africa.

You better MOVE!

So this guy with shades on comes up to me on Friday night with something wrapped in a blanket. He was looking around like he might get arrested – I thought he was trying to flog some human organ or something.

“My kidney is fine, thanks pal,” I told him, as Ard Matthews leant in and confirmed, “no, Seth – this is the guy I told you about – with the sick tequila!”

“Oh…cool…” (I guess), as the towel was unwrapped to reveal the coldest bottle of tequila I have ever come across. I wiped the bottle and checked out the logo.

JESUS!! That is AWESOME!

‘LA MUERTE’ TEQUILA

Now, that image that you check there of the skull – it’s actually on the inside of the bottle, on the back wall of the bottle, as it were. Yes, exactly like they do with the Grey Goose bottles.

Pretty cool, huh?

Jeremy, told me about the Agave plant, which produces whatever one needs to make tequila. They’re found in the Karoo and they’re so damn good (these “agave” plants) that these guys are EXPORTING THE PLANTS TO MEXICO – for the Mexicans to make tequila! No spice! Yup, apparently the plants in Mexico have a virus at the moment and Sanchez and the boys are in a bit of a pickle!

And did you check what it says at the bottom of the bottle? Did you enjoy the part where it says “Quadruple” distilled? Come on… pushing it a bit, surely? It’s like those razor blades. Now with THREE blades!! Then after a year the competitor releases a razor with FOUR blades. Then someone goes…”Hang on, I’ve got an idea….let’s do FIVE blades!!

Just kidding. Look, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. Which is what I and a group of us did on friday night.

Honestly?

It was DAMN good! We cleaned the bottle!

I don’t know where it is available but

I’ve just got an email from the guys that make La Muerte, and you can get it from Jeremy on 083 368 1069 or jeremy@agavemuerte.com only for now.

Get it – I think you’re gonna dig it.. I certainly don’t have a problem supporting local industry, especially if it’s good!

Including these two:

2oceansvibe Jobs

2oceansvibe Villas

As much as I would love to claim it, I did not make the banner ads. I just used the same peeps I have always used for my banner design work. So grab a pen and write this down, so I won’t have to tell you again.

They’re called 100 Volts and they specialise in web banner advertising. I’ve been using them for ages and recommend you do the same. Seriously, stop wasting your money on web exposure with ads that don’t get the message across properly. You spend all that money on the ad space, and then you cock it up with the wrong ad?? Weird. Just because your “in-house” designers can add a tan to a model’s pic in photoshop, doesn’t mean they know how to sell a product in a 468×60 space. It’s like flushing money down the toilet..

And don’t even get me started on how easy it would be for foreign clients in the UK and US to get their banner ads done by 100 Volts. Why would you not? It’s the digital age, baby..

These guys are EXPERTS at getting the message across online and they’re the ONLY guys I use. 100 Volts are very reasonably priced as well and, even so, I’m sure you’ll get a further discount if you mention 2oceansvibe

Check out their website here and stop dicking around.

Simon Burrow, over at LivingStylishlyWell.com (somewhere in the French Luberon Valley – poor thing) also served his time in the army, and gave it a fantastic review of Gazza’s book!

LivingStylishlyWell reports:

STAND AT EASE – A RARE TREAT

When the pillars of apartheid in South Africa came crashing down in 1994, one of the biggest pillars to fall was the military machine – the South African Defence Force.

From the mid-1960s, white males were subjected to firstly, voluntary and then compulsory conscription and sent away to fight the apartheid war. What started out as nine months and a few ‘camps’ turned into twenty-four months and a plethora of ‘camps’ fighting Cubans in Angola, SWAPO/ANC in Namibia and then, the lowest of the low, patrolling the Black townships.

Recently, there has been a steady stream of literature being published about this era. Many of them have been apartheid generals/historians justifying the insurgencies into neighbouring states and providing a chronicle for the military history libraries. Sound familiar?

One of the first publications to be written by the one of guys who actually did the work – the National Servicemen – has now been published : Stand At Ease by Gary Green (or Groenmannetijie to give him his army moniker).

It’s an often hilarious story of his national service spent trying to outwit the Afrikaans instructors, keeping away from the front lines, living in the most desolate parts of South Africa and attempting to get to Durban to surf.

For those of us who lived through the same experience, there are amazing parallels with Green’s story. He had Corporal Vorster for his basic training – we had Corporal de Witt (Kippie the c–t). Vorster could not grow a proper moustache and took it out on his recruits, de Witt worked his way up to Sergeant-Major and was on his way down due to physical maltreatment of troops. Same story, same experiences.

[read more here]

Be sure to check out more of the rosé-infused, often amusing, usually insightful, but always downright enviable LivingStylishlyWell ramblings, written from Menerbes, Provence (one-time home to Pablo Picasso – you can only imagine the setting..). A recent article with dream-like pics of the snow will make you cry.. It’s safe to assume that LivingStylishlyWell is a part of the “vibe”..

“Stand At Ease by Gary Green is published by Reach Publishers (www.aimtoinspire.com) and is available at all good bookstores in South Africa. Overseas readers should email reach@webstorm.co.za to buy online.”

I’ve been getting a lot of attention about two things lately. My new shades, and the shirts I’ve been throwing around. People say that I have been “killing it” and they want to know where the goods are from. Look, that’s fair enough..

So instead of having to tell each and every one if you individually, I thought I’d throw this article together, giving you the required information.

I thought I’d go for the “ooooh-mouth” model look for this shot. With my hands up, showing that I’m ready for action. Cautious, but happy to give it a go. Like when Kevin Bacon said “jump back!” in Footloose.

Those of you with weak hearts are urged to cover one eye when looking at the following image.

Ooooooh!

Indeed, the little switch from Ray Ban is significant, although not altogether surprising. As one of 2oceansvibe’s premium sponsors, Sunglass Hut offer virtually every sunglass brand, not just Ray Ban. That’s why I thought I’d give the Ferragamo’s a bash. Or, if you really want to push it, say the whole brand name – Salvatore Ferragamo. Say that out aloud. You’ll immediately feel sexy.

The second item on the agenda is the shirt. I honestly don’t know where to start. these guys are our most recent premium sponsor and, as with all our sponsors that get accepted, I’m proud to have them on board. They’re called “Collar and Cuff” and here’s the scoop:

Collar and Cuff Shirts delivers an age old tradition of excellent service and craftsmanship, and presents it on a modern interactive platform. Allowing men and women the ability to create their own individual appearance and style. Collar and Cuff clients will enjoy the personal shopping experience we offer, resulting in a perfectly fitted and designed tailored shirt.

Combining the finest 100% cotton, including premium range and 2 ply Italian shirting fabrics, along with the best components from buttons to threads, we not only maintain the very best in shirt making methods but also pride ourselves on our impeccable quality control. We proudly stand by the fact that our bespoke shirts will fit perfectly and are a pleasure to wear.

The website is INCREDIBLE. They let you tailor make your shirt and choose everything from the style of collar and cuffs, to the fabric of the shirt, as well as the lining. You can even add detail (like I did) including your initials or a different thread for the top button. My first three shirts arrived and they are RIDICULOUSLY awesome. I am yet to not receive a comment when wearing them publicly.

And the packaging…my God, it even comes with a proper red wax seal!

Naughty!

Come now..

You see, that’s what I’m talking about. Why would they not be an approved 2oceansvibe brand?

So I hope that helps. Check out the Collar & Cuff website and tailor make your own shirt.

I’m currently working with the owner on the ultimate white shirt. It will be called the “2oceansvibe Shirt” and will have all those little extra’s that you wish you had. Like a slightly shorter back length to the shirt – so you can wear the shirt tucked in, or out.

Will let you know when it’s ready.

You’re welcome.

And the second is this, the launch of 2oceansvibe Villas – Cape Town’s finest selection of holiday accommodation and villa and apartment rentals throughout the year. This, naturally, allows the second part of the slogan to come true – “Live the holiday!”

With over 200 listings online, whether you’re looking for something small to be used as a base, or something grand and extravagant to share with family and friends, we have it all.

CLICK HERE for 2oceansvibe Villas

2oceansvibe takes pride as one of Cape Town’s most well-loved and trusted brands – a brand which has been built over the the last eight years. A brand synonymous with Cape Town and a brand which represents the good life, good times and above all, trust and integrity.

2oceansvibe Villas is the premier vacation rental provider on Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard. All of our properties are exclusively managed and controlled, and we handle every aspect of our guest’s stay, from the first email through to the final check-out. Your personal hospitality consultant will take care of your reservation, and will be on hand to personally welcome you to your property in Cape Town, and will be at your service for the duration of your stay, to help ensure that you get the most out of your Cape Town vacation.

Because that’s how you roll..

For those of you who have followed Seth and 2oceansvibe.com over the last eight years, you will not need to be convinced of the extreme levels of service and standards that would need to be reached before allowing a particular villa to be presented to you and rental agent to engage with you.

I’ll tell you something else. Because we only do things when they can be done properly, you should know that the backend system behind the 2oceansvibe Villas website is one of the most sophisticated in the world. The system even allows for real-time availability checks (previously unheard of!) and pin-point locators on Google Maps and Google Earth!

Book your stay in Cape Town with 2oceansvibe Villas, and experience a private, relaxing and pampered holiday in South Africa. The kind of holiday that Seth Rotherham would expect.

Our team can’t wait to welcome you to your dream holiday.

See you at Caprice!

In the meantime, check out www.2oceansvibevillas.com and get lost in the selection of awesome Cape Town Holiday villas!

*Please note that 2oceansvibe Villas is run as a completely separate division to the original 2oceansvibe.com. Any contact that needs to be made with regards to accommodation rentals in Cape Town and anything to do with 2oceansvibe Villas, should be made via the contact information on the 2oceansvibe Villas website www.2oceansvibevillas.com.

But let’s not go on about “boosting” numbers and “breaking records” – I just thought that I would show you the ELLE interview, now that the magazine is sold out.

BANG!

Click image to enlarge..

CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE TO READING SIZE
FEEL IT INSIDE YOU

Good times. Did you know about my “C-TAP” nickname?

It’s funny.. I regularly get into what pot-smokers describe as a “zone” during interviews and, when published, I often don’t remember what I said at the time.

My favourite answer would have to be the one about the dolphins. That really made me chuckle.

And howz that pic of me and my labrador? Her name was Katie.

KAAATIE, KATIE, KATIE, KATIE, KATIEEEEEEE!

FOOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIEEEES!!!!

With Christmas around the corner, I can’t not tell you about deals on luxury goods – I mean, for God’s sake – that’s how you roll, right?

They’ve been pretty clever with their website. Check it out..

Luxury4Less gets into the Christmas spirit with smoking hot babe

Besides giving us the sexiest Santa I’ve yet to see, they gone and created two easy “must have” lists – Top 10 Gifts For Him and Top 10 Gifts For Her.

Some of my favourites from the guy’s gifts:

3pc Shave Set
Because you’re posh..

Up until now, you probably had no idea
that you could own your very own Beer Dispenser!

The much desired “presto” machine
Find your inner barista!

The “Biltong King” biltong maker
Are you man enough?

Pretty cool, right?

There’s tons more other stuff, so get in there and check it out.

Whoops! I nearly forgot about the angels! Well, besides kitchenware including the Tempo Supreme Slow Cooker and Givenchy fragrances, they’ve got these 9kt gold handmade trilogy style pierced drop earrings..

9kt gold with 30% discount..

They’re enjoying close to 30% discount and there is only one pair left (at the time of this article going out). Hmmm, who’s gonna be the lucky angel..

Good luck, baby shoes!

Remember that they offer select membership, but have arranged a special system for 2oceansvibers.

All you have to do is go to the website HERE and put in your details, followed by this promotional code 2oceans@luxury4less.co.za

Not that one should expect complete support at these events, as we witness this adorable group of people with a lot of time on their hands.

Bless..

Shame..

With promises to appear at every one of his Western Cape book signings, the one woman in the group was overheard taking Smit to task over the content in the book. In particular the section where she claims he referred to Luke Watson as “cancer.”

“No, no,” replied the Springbok Captain, “I said his conduct and presence within the squad was eating away at it… like a cancer. I said there was a ‘cancerous effect’”

The woman quipped, “but how can you as a Springbok captain publicly slate another Spprngbok?”

He dismissed the comment with, “if you read the whole book, you would have noticed the section where I actually commended him about some other things. I have remained truthful throughout my book and will leave it at that.”

Fair enough.

On that topic, I found this excerpt from Ruggaworld, commenting on the Luke Watson section of Smit’s book – Captain in The Cauldron:

As he wasn’t playing, it was a tough ask. Smit thought about what had gone wrong and judged that Luke Watson’s inclusion in the squad had been hugely divisive.

The son of “Cheeky” Watson, the anti-apartheid activist who forsook the chance of turning out for the Springboks to play his rugby with black players in the townships, Luke Watson had been forced on the previous coach, Jake White, by South African Rugby Union officials and now in 2008, many Springbok players were unhappy about his presence in the squad.

Smit felt that although Watson wanted to play for the Boks, he didn’t enjoy the environment. A bad situation was made worse by Watson rubbing his teammates the wrong way. Behind his back they called him “the cancer”, as they believed he poisoned the atmosphere.

For that do-or-die match against the Wallabies, he was a replacement and one of the 22 in the room when Smit began to speak. “There are 21 guys here who will bleed for each other,” he said, “and you have to understand that you can’t let one guy disrupt everything we’ve worked for as a team. We are bigger than this one guy, and he shouldn’t be allowed to affect how we feel about each other.”

As he spoke, Smit became more emotional. “Passion,” he said, “is not enough. You can talk about passion until the cows come home. Do you want to see passion?”

He then picked a glass from a nearby table and fired it against a wall. Fragments exploded in every direction, showering the players. “That is passion,” he said, “and it’s gone already. It’s over in a moment.”

Individual shows of passion from Watson or any other player, he was telling the group, were nothing compared to the collective will of a united team.

[more here]

Perhaps what the woman forgot to realise was that the fact that Watson wore that jersey in the first place was forced and the result of excessive duress. Perhaps things would have been different if he had earned it the natural organic way?

We are talking about a guy who often gets booed by his own home crowd.

CLICK HERE to buy John’s book, Captain in the Cauldron.

[thanks paul]

Seriously. It’s quite silly.

Remember that hamper I bought last week for Marina, to celebrate the birth of their baby boy, Luc? Ja, well, let me just tell you… The delivery arrived a few days ago and I have.not.heard.the.end.of.it! The sms’s and emails from Marina were one thing, but the word of mouth was another.

Brownie Points
Now available online

I cruised into Vida e this morning and, whilst in the queue, I could hear the voice of one of Marina’s crew, coming towards me. I didn’t know which one it was nor if it was aimed at me, so I just listened to see how close the voice came.

OH

MY

GOD

DOLL!!

With the huge lushes lips now right next to the back of my neck, I had no option but to turn. Yup, I was right on both counts. It was one of Marina’s crew and it was intended for me.

HOW (kiss on one side – BANG!)

ARE (kiss on the other side – BANG!)

YOU!!!?

“Very well thanks, my darling – and how are you?!” I asked. (“One mucho cappuccino to hamba please,” I quickly ordered my coffee from the barista)

She did not tell me how she was, but rather got straight to the point.

“OH.MY.GOD.HOW.STUNNING.IS.THAT.BABY.HAMPER.YOU.SENT.MARINAAAA?!” (shakes head rapidly from left to right, mouth agape)

Waaah!, I thought to myself – this is an absolute joke!

“Oh ja, did she get it?” I pretended to have forgotten.

“Did she get it??? DID SHE GET IT??? Babe, you can do NO harm in her eyes at the moment let me tell you. NO.HARM.AT.ALL!!

People were staring at this stage, as I shepherded the bearer of amazing news to the corner of Vida e.

“Well, that’s really great – I’m glad she is happy and that the baby is fine.”

“Which Woolworths did you buy it from,” she asked.

“Oh no, I bought it all online, at www.woolieshampers.co.za – it’s all on 2oceansvibe!” I said, hoping that she would read more regularly in future so I didn’t have to repeat myself in real life.

“TOO DIVINE, DOLL!!!!” (the boobs were falling out at this stage, as the arm of the sunglasses were placed in the mouth)

It went on. I won’t tell you the rest as you might get bored. But what I can tell you is that I feel like a hero. I feel like I saved someone’s life on live television. That’s what it feels like. For going on a website, choosing something and clicking “Checkout!” How crazy is that?

Instant brownie points, I tell you! I’m currently looking at getting the Christmas hamper for The Muse’s mother..

If only The Muse knew her mother’s address, we’d by A for Away!

There tons of other hampers so check them out by clicking HERE.

It’s basically Brownie Points Central and I’m the mayor.

I’m not sure if they realised that Wednesday was a public holiday… Naturally, I’ll be taking things to the next level..

Haaaah! Did you see that? They used words like “free reign” and “do whatever you want!!” I mean, really, it’s in black & white, right?

Yes, it is.

That’s why I made some calls and am turning this into a very brief, very exclusive 2oceansvibe party for YOU. I’ve arrange a DJ (DJ Sox, no less) with high-powered sound and apart from this 45% discount on ALL Puma gear, there will also be FREE Jack Black Beer, FREE De Grendel wine, FREE Pussy Natural Energy Drink and, while we’re at it, I got the geniuses at Thirst Bar Services to pull round and fill in the gaps with cocktails and other beautiful concoctions!!

With South Africa’s most exclusive mobile bar service, Thirst, 2oceansvibe’s top beverage brands, our favourite DJ, and virtually half price off all PUMA gear, I couldn’t think of a better way to welcome the Wednesday public holiday! (Let alone Christmas!)

Can you?

No, you can’t.

Make sure you get there!

HOW DO YOU WIN ACCESS TO THIS RIDICULOUS EVENT?

COMPETITION CLOSED

To the people who posted the first 100 comments below, see you there – Tuesday 15th December, Puma Store, V&A Waterfront. From 19h00 to 21h00..

An example of an actual cat being let out of a bag

So right now I’m going to let “the cat out the bag” about something I bought for someone. I’m not sure if they got it yet, but I can’t help telling you about it, because it’s a beautiful thing and you need to know about it.

Cape Town’s social circuit will know that the queen bee, Marina, from The LIttle Black Book, recently had a beautiful baby boy, Luc. Obviously with these kind of things, it’s quite tricky with regards to visiting times. Is she back from the hospital yet? Do they want visitors? Etc. etc.

That’s why I decided to take my mouse for a stroll down to the Woolies website yesterday. Now, being a premium quality SA brand, 2oceansvibe is no stranger to Woolworths, and we’ve recently indulged in their web vibe (let alone their steamy jeans ad – Gee whizz, Woolies! On the edge, hey?).

They seem to have updated their website since I last went – and have now included these “hampers.” They show up on the main page (bottom left) and, when clicked, it actually takes you to a seperate website – JUST for the hampers!

Just trust me when I tell you that www.woolieshampers.co.za will make you a rock star, for doing absolutely nothing. Please enjoy the first hamper I saw on the page (no spice – you can see for yourself here):

Are you joking?

The headline for that hamper was “A new baby boy“ and apparently includes:

cuddly teddy bear (nice)
soft, anti-pill polar fleece baby blanket (great)
machine washable bibs (thank heavens for that!)
earth friendly natural baby cream and baby powder (I’ll take that)
celebratory sparkling grape juice (whoo-hoo!)
1 memento iced duck biscuit nougat treat (fine)

“Oh, for God’s sake!” I said to myself, as I realised how ridiculously easy this all was.

Next to it was “A new baby girl.“ And then it just spiraled. “Snack Hamper” was the next one. Then “Mad hatter’s tea party,” “Nibble and braai,” “Coffee and chat,” “Festive treats” and so on, and so on, and so on. Check them all out here.

Did you enjoy the name of that one? Coffee and a chat! Haaaah! That’s hilarious! It’ll fly of the shelves in the Southern Suburbs, I tell you what; as the bored housewives kill time before picking up their daughters at Herschel.

*cough* That’s obviously after the pool boy has left.

I’ll let you know what Marina says, but it’s obviously going to be a hit and I’ll be ranked as “awesome.” For what? For a click here and a click there. Please…it’s too easy. It’s basically just all a big joke.

With the NIGHTMARE that is festive season shopping, I’ve got my eye on this very cheeky little Festive Treats Christmas Hamper…

Shame, that’s difficult to click..

I might just blast that through to a few people and earn a lifetime supply of brownie points while I’m at it.

Hmm.. now who has been behaving..

CLICK HERE to be awesome from the comfort of you own desk.

Behold, the ULTIMATE Christmas gift..

Due to the overwhelming amount of awesome videos on 2oceansvibe, you can’t be expected to watch it all – and let’s face it, not everyone has super fast internet. So here it is, people. You asked for it, and now you’ve got it. It’s the 2009 2oceansvibe DVD.

Not surprisingly, it’s entitled “Touch Yourself” and contains SO MUCH stuff I honestly don’t know where to begin. What’s more, they’re all presented in their original resolution, so you’re getting improved picture quality too!

Just to get you started, it’s basically got the ENTIRE 2oceansvibe Weathergirls Show collection (shame – poor you), with models including The Cowley Sisters, Tracy McGregor, Lyndall Jarvis, Genevieve Morton and tons more beautiful angels. And that’s not excluding the ones with Helen Zille and Goldfish and the other one with Bob Skinstad stripping down to his jocks! Some classic moments, I must admit!

But that’s not all..

Howz that DVD box? Pretty cool, hey? Can you imagine owning that and holding it close to your body? No need – just pop it in the DVD player and, when you watch it, it will feel like I am right there, holding you. Naked.

It’s also got the ENTIRE Pauly Shore series with Dirty Skirts soundtrack that we shot in Hollywood early on in the year – which includes Pauly Shore dry humping Zinzi on a physio’s table. Let alone live footage of Pauly making hotel booty calls and following through with the angels actually arriving at the door within minutes! Those who have watched the whole thing will confirm that it is truly hilarious! And I didn’t even mention the hidden-camera footage of Pauly in the drug store..

OBVIOUSLY it’s got the IDOLS Randall Abraham “Rocky” video which won the award for Best Blog Post at the 2009 SA Blog Awards. That same video has been watched online over 150,000 times so far. I simply couldn’t leave it out!

It’s got the little debate I had with Springbok Captain, John Smit, as well as the 2oceansvibe Top Billing feature which included Goldfish, as well as Ard Matthews from Just Jinjer on the show.

So it’s a bit of a joke when it comes to the volume of stuff you’re getting on the DVD. There’s even a Bonus footage section which includes the now famous Cape Town Short Cuts video, as well as behind the scenes never-seen-before footage of The TBG, Seth, The Dude, G-Man and the rest of the gang. I would tell you more, but don’t want to spoil it..

I had someone the other day tell me that they would pay R250 just for copies of all the weather girls. Well, Thomas, there will be no need! Because you can get EVERYTHING I have just mentioned AND MORE for just R100. That’s what a lot of people give car guards these days.

No surprises there – we’ve gone and made it too easy for you again.

It’s basically just all a big joke.

I cannot imagine a better Christmas present. It costs you nearly nothing and, at the same time, it might just save someone’s life. If you’re smart you’ll buy one for every person you’ve ever met in your life.

Do yourselves a favour and CLICK HERE (or the disc above) to go straight to the Diletto website, which is where you will be able to buy it right now, online baby!

And can you believe that the price includes a signed picture of Seth in the Karate-Kid “Crane” pose? Taken during the “Randall Abrahams ‘Rocky’ Video.”

Well it does.

All inclusive..

*The DVD will also be available to hire from all branches of DVD Nouveau.

*5% of all proceeds go to the MyLife Foundation

CLICK HERE TO BUY DVD

That’s just how I’m rolling at the moment. And that’s exactly how they ALWAYS roll at “Challah Clothing ,” which is an online T-shirt shop..

You seem confused? Perfectly understandable.

Their About Us section of the website explains:

Challah Clothing was founded in 2009 by two young Jewish entrepreneurs…surprise right! Brad and David had the vision of creating funny Jewish t-shirts, but not just some cheap crap with shitty designs. All of our shirts are printed in the United States on American Apparel t-shirts.

Read more about them in a recent interview here.

ChallahClothing.com

Jeepers, Sea Point is going to go crazy for this stuff!

Maybe you would like to see the rest of their range? They have an AWESOME one with “Shalom” on the front. There is a group of us gentiles who say “shalom” when we greet. Not because we’re Jewish.

Just because it sounds cool. FACT.

Why do you think the Black Eyed Peas through it into their song:

I gotta feeling
that tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good good night (x2)
Tonight’s the night
Let’s live it up
I got my money
Lets spend it up
Go out and smash it
Like Oh My God
Jump off that sofa
Lets get get OFF

Fill up my cup (Drink)
Mozolotov (Lahyme)
[my favourtie part]

It’s too beautiful! CLICK HERE to watch the music video (very very cool video, btw).

Then CLICK HERE to check out the rest of the range at ChallahClothing.com

[thanks neil]

And I didn’t just have the computers – as an only child I lived, breathed, ate and slept them. I even slept WITH them at times. Non fiction. I opened them up and put them back together again. All the work I have ever done has been computer related. I was logging into “Bulletin Board Systems” in the early 90′s and was surfing on the net in ’93/’94 when the speed was 1200bps and there was purely text – no images.

No Tuesday Tabs..

You get the picture – when it comes to PC’s, they truly are all I know. From desktops and the first monochrome screen laptops, to the latest and greatest, biggest and smallest Sony Vaio’s, I’ve had them all. Basically, you couldn’t with for a better authority on the content of this article, than yours truly.

I’ve endured the nauseating ridicule dished out by the Mac users out there and I’ve explained to them that I have no need to “switch.” They’re usually quite aggressive as well – not shy to hit you with things like, “what are you doing with this piece of shit.” Quite a vibe, I thought, especially when unsolicited.

“Everything works fine with my PC,” I would tell them. And, to coin a phrase I came up with a few years ago, “if it ain’t broke, don’t try and fix it.”

[pauses....looks at audience...utter silence...continues..]

Three weeks ago I acquired an Apple Mac and I will never be going back to PC.

FACT.

Let me explain.

It all started some time ago when I published an article about the Apple Mac iStore Shop at the Waterfront. Some of you will recall the mayhem that ensued – it has become something of geek folk legend here in Cape Town. Today, with over 120 comments and that article (mostly in support of my article – with new comments being added weekly, due to the article’s Google position for the search phrase “waterfront istore”), something needs to said for the Mac users out there. They’re a passionate bunch, alright!

My interest had been piqued and I became more and more intrigued with Apple Macs, but I didn’t want to deal with the iStore or Core, as it was quite evident that stabbing my eye repeatedly with a hot fork would give the same result.

The name “DigiCape” came up over and over in the comments section under that story I wrote – perhaps they were the ones to chat to?

I went through to their shop (their online store is hot as hell, by the way – www.digicape.co.za) which is off Roeland Street in Cape Town. I think the development is called “Roeland Square” – just down the road from Wembley Square and in the same complex as ORMS Photographic shop. Yes, that’s the one. I chatted to the owners and they let me test drive the new 13″ MacBook Pro (pictured above). It came with Office for Mac installed, as well as the likes of Dreamweaver, Photoshop and Final Cut. Their quietly smug confidence in the product certainly did get me going. Aroused, even.

www.digicape.co.za

Well, I tell you what – never before have I felt such a sensation. Not with regards to the use of the machine (we’ll get to that shortly) but more to do with the embarrassment that I realised I should have felt for so many years before. I call it “hindsight embarrassment” or, for pure 2oceansvibers, “hindsight emboerrissment.” Oh my God – how many people had secretly been laughing at me? For all this time!

From the outset I can tell you one thing that is quite clear to me. The Mac operating system and machine layout/functionality is far more better suited to human logic. It gets closer to those movies you see where the guy flicks things around a clear sheet of glass (think Minority Report ).

I shot a short video (using the iPhone 3Gs I also got from DigiCape) to show you how the new trackpad works.

Check it out:

I should mention that I filmed that video and uploaded it (directly from my iPhone using the Flickr app) to my Flickr account all in under 3 minutes.

I’ve had an ongoing joke with The Roofer for the last few years and with every new laptop I acquired, he would ask me, “is this one fast enough for you?”

“Hmm, it’s getting better,” I would always answer, “but I still find myself waiting for the machine, which I’m sure is not the point of the exercise!”

Sammy, I can tell you now, I’ve finally found it, pal!

And with regards to those Mac maniacs out there who make it their job to attack you and ridicule you about your PC, without any due provocation…. they’re still a bunch of dicks, but at least now I understand where they’re coming from.

I’m sure I won’t turn into them but, you know……seeing as we’re on the subject – exactly what are you doing with that piece of shit?

It’s won’t be long until you’ll find it at all your favourite 2oceansvibe hangouts, including Caprice, Miss K, 1800 Restaurant, Cape Royale Hotel, HQ Restaurant and Caveau.

Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut
Now being served at The Safe House

Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut – the 2oceansvibe Sparkling Wine of choice.

The Methode Cap Classique of choice, I might add!

I’ll be honest, The Muse and I klapped a bottle each on Sunday and I must say it goes VERY well with the Atlantic Seaboard. In fact, it goes very well with the entire weekend. It went well with the post-Clifton-tanning-session Sunday Times hour , as well as the vinyl player interlude, featuring Barry and Barbs.. Yes, it seems to adapt very well.

But you would have known that anyway, if you were following the 2oceansvibe Twitter feed, as well as the 2oceansvibe Flickr feed..

For the more serious bubbly drinkers out there, you can CLICK HERE to download the Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut cheat sheet (PDF) which will answer all those questions you might be asking. Questions that I cannot answer. All I know is it tastes great and everyone I drink it with thinks the same!

Then, when you’re done there, take a stroll down to their website and see what it takes to become the official 2oceansvibe bubbly – www.boschendalwines.com

I was contacted by the owner of an online company called luxury4less who have launched a very exclusive website offering a vast range of premium brands and designer products at massively reduced prices. But it’s not what you think – give this a moment..

This is a genuinely clever concept that I’ve seen overseas and, in particular, the U.K. where I know of a few friends who indulge. You see they have limited quantity of each product, which allows them to achieve massive discounts.

They’re pretty up front with how the whole things works. You’ll get the idea once you’ve read this:

Firstly, all our products are genuine, the real stuff, guarantees and warranties are provided, where applicable, and we also guarantee a 100% return policy (T&C apply) in case we deliver the wrong item. Discounts are negotiated with our suppliers, and offered to our members since the products offered in our campaigns might be off-season (or close to off-season) products, overstock, slow moving items, or, a new product the supplier would like to test in the South African market as part of a promotion.

Fair enough. Nice vibe. I gave it a bash today and I’m happy to say the system works perfectly. I used my login (after receiving approval) and, with the dwindling supply of smellies at home, I checked out the fragrances.

Case in point, The Hugo Boss Energise fragrance that I was perving at the airport on my way back From L.A. in July.

Due to the massiveness of the price reduction (40% off), there were only 3 in stock and the countdown clock (yes, there is a countdown clock) had 14 days to go. The price was set at R399 (rather than R660) and I’d be damned if I’d let this puppy slip through my fingers! I mean, seriously – R399? Those of you who buy premium fragrances will know that deals on fragrances should not be ignored. There is one rule – just get it – quickly – before it disappears.

So ja, that’s that – I bought mine and it’s on it’s way. But don’t panic – once those are gone, there are some others to go for – not that I can put my cock on a block that they will still be there when you get there!

Enjoy this screenshot, featuring everything from Lacoste and Joop! to Moschino and Happy Fizz:

And those aren’t all of them!

What’s more, fragrances are just ONE of the product lines they have. Don’t even get me started on the sunglasses, gym equipment, holiday packages, bags, plasmas and more.

Seriously – everything is RADICALLY discounted – you’d be silly not to have a squizz.

I explained to the owner of the website that 2oceansvibers should be allowed membership and shouldn’t have to go through a screening process – so he agreed and gave me a special 2oceansvibe promotional code for you guys to give you immediate access!

So go to the website HERE and put in your details, followed by this promotional code 2oceans@luxury4less.co.za

Go on, give it a little click – they will have something you want and it will cost next to nothing – www.luxury4less.co.za

Now while these videos may seem a tad risqué to some, I remind you that they have all been featured on TV – usually in the US!

This brings us to our latest video which, although completely off the charts, IS actually suitable for home AND office viewing. ie. there is nothing graphic on the screen.

Seriously, this is not NSFW – I give you my word.

Please enjoy the Tenga Flip Hole.

Are you ok with that?

I wanted to work something out for you. The Tenga Flip Hole is retailing online at R1,500. Now, if you watched that whole video, you’ll know that they reckon it can only be used about 50 times.

You know what that means, right?

That’s correct, it’s gonna cost you about 30 bucks a “session!”

That’s just silly.

[thanks simon]

I swear it. Our boys at Diletto have done the right thing and added the drinks to their online gourmet food and beverage emporium!

www.diletto.co.za

So they’re rocking with the De Grendel whites (here), reds (here), as well as our favourite, the Rosé (here). You can order that by the case, and at around R40 a bottle you’ll be laughing!

De Grendel Rosé

The Rosé is also finally available at Caprice, by the way. I’d order it if I were you. It tastes great and you will look cool too.

Back to Diletto. They’re also offering Jack Black beer (here) by the 6-pack. Personally, I’d order a case at a time – because then you can get it delivered in one of their awesome black boxes.

So crisp. So clean.

Awesomeness

And no online gourmet food and beverage emporium would be complete without the 2oceansvibe energy drink of choice which is taking Cape Town by storm, Pussy Natural Energy drink (here).

Natural Energy
Radness

Your can order those puppies by the 8-pack or you can be true to yourself and do like I do – order a case of 24! They go faster than you think. Also don’t be shy to knock one back in the morning if you’re feeling sluggish. It’s FAR more easy on the palate than some of the other energy drinks out there, which can be quite ghastly in the morning!

Well done Diletto, and well done to YOU, the 2oceansvibe reader, for finally getting what you wanted!

Pink, ‘cos you are so very..

I know – it’s too awesome for words! And to celebrate the pink vibe, we’re giving away 50 pink balls with your OWN personal logo. It could be your company logo, it could be “happy birthday baby,” whatever tickles your fancy.

To win this competition, simply answer the question “What is the official name of the pink Kika Sack balls” (find answer at www.kika-sack.com).

Email your answer to sales@kika-sack.com

The first 3 girls that email the correct answer will win 50 personalised pink balls EACH!

And besides that competition, why don’t you wake up and get your company’s logo on some of these balls? The world cup is in less than a year – have you done ANY football related promotional work? Idiot. Order some balls from these guys and you’ll get 10% if you tell them you’re a 2oceansviber.

Standard stuff.

*Click here to watch and listen to the song “Pink,” by Aerosmith.

Bunny Tales
By Izabella St James

Yup, she’s a cracker.

One of the topics in the book is obviously to do with the sex side of things in the Playboy mansion. The article touched on this and discussed the revelation that apparently Hefner’s stamina leaves a lot to be desired. Which, although shocking, can be understood at the tender age of 83.

So that’s really what I wanted to address at this point. The fact that although Hefner’s life is loosely based on mind, I do not suffer from these same inadequacies.

Seriously, I am everything that you imagined, and so much more.

CLICK HERE to buy the book in South Africa

CLICK HERE to buy the book in the UK

Or click here to see me moonwalk.

Tell me, how badly do you want this calabash?

Louis Vuitton calabash
So awesome it hurts

What a wonderful concept – to support local industry and maintain international premium fashion brand consciousness at the same time! And, what’s more, it costs next to nothing – thus helping YOU during the recession. Everyone’s a winner!

But seriously, let’s find out exactly what is going on here. This, from designboom:

developed for a collective exhibition in dakar, senegal, sébastien bouchard’s ‘c’est la crise’ (crisis time)
is an artistic response to the current global economic situation.

 

Mnandi

 

the calabash, is a bowl made from the calabash tree. it is an object which is commonly used
in african culture. every family has its own calabash to carry things, use it in cooking…
it is an object which has a price of less than 1€ but is something which everyone uses daily.
the idea behind ‘c’est la crise’ is to elaborate on the significance of this bowl and its use
by contrasting it with the iconic louis vuitton monogram which is a symbol of luxury
and high-end goods. the juxtaposition of the painted vuitton graphics on the exterior of the calabash
result in a confrontation between the necessities of african life and the desires of western life.

Whatever, let’s just tell the truth – it looks AWESOME and I want one!

I could probably get Mavis to work on producing these. Then I could get those annoying illegal wire chameleon selling people in Camps Bay to flog them for me (alongside the knockoff Havaianas flip-flops the Cambodian pre-teen kids under my floorboards are churning out).

Then I’ll just sit back and count the cash!

Now that’s living the holiday!

[thanks andy]

But that’s not the point.

The point is this:

“What’s this?” you ask..

It’s the reincarnation of the word “rad.”

Let’s get in there:

The 45 Nano Cases for the 4th generation iPod Nano. Designed by Contexture Design, a creative duo based in Vancouver, Canada. They’re made from old cassette tapes and are gutted, routered and rebuilt to fit your 4th generation iPod Nano.”

See what they did there?

Amazing that are people out there even cooler than you.

The mind boggles.

Check out the range (some classics, like the old “maxell” tapes) and order your own here.

[thanks scott]

A wide array of jean pant

I think you will agree that it is a tad excessive. And that’s only some of them, which is half of what it was about a month ago. I give the odd pair to Mavis, you see (which she probably flogs to further afford her fast-paced jet-set lifestyle), but I’m still left with these reams of denim.

What am I going to do?!! [places back of hand to forehead - nearly passes out]

Well it’s not going to be a problem anymore – Levi Struass have just launched a new campaign which suits me to a tee! Quite simply, they’re going to BUY MY JEANS!!! For up to R200 a pair, to be exact! AND, what’s more, they’ll improve your karma by donating those very jeans to disadvantaged communities!

My goodness, it’s like you’re cheating – but you’re not!

See what they did there?
Get RID of your jeans, for GOOD!
Get it?

Oh, none of your old jeans are made by Levi’s? Hey, no problem my angel – they’ll take ANY brand of jean pant!!! Ja, you heard me. ANY brand! After all, charity shouldn’t discriminate.

Why are people paying us for our old jeans and then donating them to disadvantaged communities? Well, let’s be honest, it’s not for us to worry about. Levi’s are doing the right thing and everyone’s a winner.

2oceansvibe supports this vibe 100% – so get on over to your nearest Levi’s store and drop off your jeans.

Tell you what, if you go and donate your jeans (which they will pay you for) and send in a pic of you in your underwear in the Levi store, we’ll publish the pic right here on 2oceansvibe!

Send to editor@2oceansvibe.com

Deal?

Deal!

CLICK HERE for more info on the promotion, including Frequently Asked Questions.

Initially apprehensive about the product, I did some thinking, and you know what, it’s not even rude. The only reason we think it might be rude is because of the somewhat vulgar South African Afrikaans word, “p*es” which refers to a woman’s what-what. Whereas, everywhere else in the world, the word pussy is actually cute and playful. It is often used in general conversation (“don’t be a sour puss” and “pussy cat” come to mind) and even movies (James Bond – Pussy Galore), so any reservations with regard to the name are pretty pathetic. Rather, as I said in the interview with Genevieve, it should be used in a playful manner. Ordering a vodka Pussy at the bar, for example, is nothing but fun! there is even a vodka out there called “Exquisite” – now put those two together.

Try it out – seriously – I enjoy that vibe.

Jammo Blunt
Enjoys Pussy..

But that’s not the only reason I dig it now. After they gave me those freebies, I started drinking it and I’ll be honest, I dig the stuff. It’s 100% natural (even has milk thistle in it – good for one’s liver and all that) and tastes nothing like its competitors. It’s pleasant and not as arresting. Personally, the other stuff gives me headaches and super-sensitive teeth. Not with this stuff.

A Bentley with Pussy on it
We like Bentleys..

You might have spotted the MTV logo on the can above. That’s right – it’s endorsed by MTV. That’s cool, right? I’ll say! The drink is affiliated to MTV’s Staying Alive foundation (www.staying-alive.org) and a percentage of all sales go straight to HIV-related initiatives, run by that very foundation. Pretty cool vibe.

So there you go, I’m gonna give this stuff the go ahead. We’ve already got it into Caprice and HQ and Caveau and it’s rolling out in loads of other places.

Oh, it’s also right here next to me – poolside at The Standard hotel on Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood , Los Angeles, California. You’ll also see it featured in part 3 and 4 of the 2oceansvibe Pauly Shore Zinzi Series during the interviews (here – part 3 comes out at 3pm today).

Pussy – spotted in Los Angeles

What do you call this then?
Spotted next to the pool..
Thought you might appreciate it..

Give it a bash – you’ll be glad you did.

I called the owner, Sugar, from the South of France on the day that Michael Jackson died. I asked him to keep all the Michael Jackson vinyl for me and I would pick it up upon my return.

Which I duly did yesterday.

The one record was Victory, by the Jackson 5. The first track is State of Shock which they recorded with Mick Jagger. My God, what an awesome tune! I very nearly forgot about this one.

Jeez it’s awesome!

“State of Shock ” is a 1984 hit single by The Jacksons featuring frontman Michael Jackson and Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger.

“State of Shock ” was the biggest hit from The Jacksons’ Victory album, reaching number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and number 4 on the Billboard R&B Singles chart. The song is written by Jackson and guitarist Randy Hansen.

The final version featured lead vocals by Michael Jackson and Jagger. “State of Shock” was the last top ten hit for The Jacksons, as well as their last single to be certified gold. The song was later revised by Jagger when he performed it with Tina Turner during their legendary 1985 performance at Live Aid.

What a vibe! With Jagger – going for it!!

Don’t miss out on MABU VINYL’S HALF PRICE SALE going on now. It won’t be going for very long so get your asses down there!

Mabu Vinyl HALF PRICE SALE
Website here

You do have a vinyl player, right?

Sort that out, if you haven’t yet.

Nick Goldblatt is due one, I’m sure..

I got it from The Marketer, (who got it from Craig Banks) – and it’s called The Wolf of Wall Street

The Wolf of Wall Street
By Jordan Belfort

The true story was the inspiration for the movie “Boiler Room” with Ben Affleck and has everything you’re looking for. Money, drugs, sex, crime, a 170-foot motor yacht, a Gulfstream jet, hookers, helicopters, a $700,000 hotel bill and it all came crashing down on him!

Here is a review I found for you on bloggingstocks:

Jordan Belfort was the king of pump-and-dumps during the 1990′s, presiding over Stratton Oakmont, a real life version of Boiler Room’s J.T. Marlin. He was earning millions of dollars each month, doing enormous quantities of cocaine and a drug called Quaaludes, and sleeping with dozens of prostitutes, in spite of his marriage to a beautiful and wonderful lady he calls the Duchess of Bay Ridge.

Eventually the Feds caught up with him, and Belfort was indicted on charges including securities fraud and money laundering. He managed to serve just 22 months in a federal prison camp after serving as a government witness. Now out of jail, Belfort has written a book about his reign at the top: The Wolf of Wall Street: Stock Market Multimillionaire at 26, Federal Convict at 36, I Partied Like a Rock Star, Lived like a King, and Barely Survived My Rise and Fall as an American Entrepreneurial Icon.

And what a reign it was. Belfort’s 519-page memoir contains a seemingly infinite series of tales about drug abuse, trips to Switzerland to launder money, lurid scenes with prostitutes, and other narcotics-fueled debauchery.

Again, it’s ALL true!

If any of that appeals to you then I suggest you get this book ASAP.

CLICK HERE to buy it right now online in South Africa.

CLICK HERE to buy it right now online in the UK.

Oh, and there is a sequel as well which my dad says is just as good. It’s called Catching the Wolf of Wall Street.

CLICK HERE to buy the sequel online now in South Africa.

CLICK HERE to buy the sequel online now in the UK.

Let’s get a quick recap of that.

The eSimpowenis

Well, either way, I got an email from Eric at Springleap who told me the image was actually called “The eSimpowenis ” and was the winning design from their August 2008 competition on springleap.com (they run a design competition every 2 weeks, and the winning voted t-shirt is sold online and in stores).

Anyway, he directed to their website and I bought the T-shirt!!

Check, check, check it out!

My new T-shirt!
CLICK HERE TO GO TO IT ON THE WEBSITE

I know! Pretty cool hey?

I’ve subsequently been chatting to the owner and he agreed to a special little deal just for YOU. Quite simply, all 2oceansvibe readers will get R50 off their first purchase at Springleap.com.

All you have to do is use the coupon code “ThanksSeth” (case sensitive) when you buy your T-Shirt (any T-shirt) from their website.

Click here to go to their website.

Click here to go straight to the eSimpowenis T-shirt page.

Got it?

Good.

Enjoy it.

It is an ad for the Comfort Wipe which makes a certain bathroom activity that little bit easier. They claim that it is “the first major advancement in the process since the 1880s.”

No spice.

How about that, hey?

And if you’re skeptical, do a little search on the internet and if you find anything proving it to be fake, do let me know – But I honestly did do as much research as possible.

I even found this HILARIOUS article a guy wrote about trying to RETURN a Comfort Wipe after buying one. It’s too funny. CLICK HERE for that.

I’m surprised CLICKS don’t stock these bad boys.

[thanks nico]

It seems their focus on abysmal service is something they strive for globally. Please enjoy this vibe – parked outside a Land Rover dealership in Colchester, Essex.

Eye-catching!

This, from The Daily Mail:

Rover’s revenge: Furious driver dumps his £50,000 Range Rover outside showroom… emblazoned with a list of its ‘faults’

It is not the best advertisement to have outside your car dealership.

This Range Rover Sport HSE is convincingly decorated like a ‘manager’s special offer’, but it promotes a set of features that are far from appealing.

The owner has daubed it with a catalogue of the faults it allegedly suffered after he bought it for £50,000 at Lookers Land Rover showroom in Colchester, Essex.

When the dealership failed to deal with his complaints to his satisfaction, he parked the negative advertising outside.

As the vehicle is on a public road, the showroom has no power to move it. Staff refused to reveal the owner’s identity.

Large yellow vinyl letters along one side of the car read: ‘If you want trouble free motoring do not buy one of these!!!’

 

Let alone the service..

 

On the side and rear windows it lists: ‘Problems with . . . 6 front ball joints, 4 front arm bushes, new seat base, front and rear n/s [nearside] struts, full n/s suspension unit, anti-roll bar bushes, air con.’

A passer-by said: ‘It looks really realistic until you actually read what the words say. Then it’s obvious someone has put it there to have a dig at the dealership. It’s a brilliant idea.’

[more here]

Do you know what it takes to be pushed to that point? A lot. Land Rover seem to have perfected it.

I remember the one time I needed to book my car in because something went wrong with it. So my P.A. called Land Rover and left 10 messages and, after two days got no response. I kept pushing for feedback and she couldn’t give it. The more she freaked out, the more I freaked out. Then, on the third day, she called them and it just kept on ringing. She was nearly in tears. So I walked straight out, got in my car and drove to Land Rover.

I walked up to the front desk, greeted the reception lady, asked her to pick up the phone and urged her to dial my P.A.’s number immediately, which I gave her.

While it was dialing, I said to her, “Franki is trying to get hold of you – please chat to her” and walked out when Franki answered – allowing her to finally book my car in.

Now firmly in a rage, I charged into the Manager’s office and asked him if the process I had just followed made sense. He agreed that it seemed a tad excessive for me to be forced to drive through to a place to get the place to call my PA to book my car in.

I told him that it was no secret that Land Rover were RENOWNED for their “shit” service, to which he replied, “I know.”

Which was awesome.

Not that you can blame me for buying it. Try this cover out for size..

Cosmopolitan Magazine – June 2009
Featuring Scarlett Johansson

Cosmopolitan editor, Vanessa Raphaely chose this month’s Letter From the Editor to let off a bit of steam about men…. in general. Kicking off with this line:

“Why are you always so kak about men?” asks Mathew, The Guru’s sidekick, who has settled into the best spot in the TV room.”

And off she went about her various pet male peeves; from the way they smell to the fact that they don’t get pregnant. It’s pretty hilarious and you’re gonna have to buy the mag to read all of it. But what I will give you for now is the second last paragraph where she gave Daddy Cool a mention.

Check it out:

Seth Rotherham is Vanessa Raphaely’s weakness
FACT

Aah, Vanessa, if you were here right now I would hold you so close to my body you’d think you were back in the womb.

And you know it’s true! My love for the Raphaely sisters is well documented (here, among many others) and I must say I’d be hard-pressed to choose between the two.

Mmm.. Julia..

[drifts into a day-dream filled with fields and meadows and lavender-lined pebbled lanes - Chris Rea's "Julia " playing in the background]

Whoah! Sorry about that. I’m getting ahead of myself and I think it’s time to go!

Before I sign off I just want to add that this month’s edition includes viewing for both men and women. Like this story, for example:

I know!

What is that guy doing to that woman’s leg? Cosmo is OFF THE CHARTS at the moment! I should make mention of the fact that the very same article even features some inside sex info from Colin Moss. No, I am not spicing you!

It’s pretty radical. Check it out. Then also click HERE to check out their website.

And a big kiss to you, Vanessa.

MWAH! X

[squeezes bum, lowers shades to reveal eyes, winks]

We have been reporting the iStore/Core Group saga to you since last week. It began with my personal account of a dismal experience in the Waterfront iStore (here), which ended up with me going next door to Incredible Connection.

I then followed up with an article (here) responding to reader’s questions, confirming that South Africa’s Apple distributors, The Core Group, had not yet released a statement nor had they attempted to make contact with regards to what is rapidly turning into a diabolical situation. I went on to say that they must know about the drama, as the story I wrote comes up at the number 1 position in Google for the search phrase “waterfront apple mac” – the story is very much out there.

But then it became clearly as to why the Core Group don’t seem to give a toss.

They never have..

For those of you who haven’t had a chance to peruse the comments section of the original article (92 so far) or the follow-up article, here are some interesting pearls.

# Hectique Prognosis Says:
May 17th, 2009 at 8:19 pm e

Let me see if I get this:
Core is the sole importer of Apple products in South Africa, because they have sole rights for distribution. They resell to retailers in South Africa… AND they have their own retail stores? Does that not sound teensy bit wrong? They must really have the other Apple resellers by the balls. Any wonder they behave as if they own the place? Talk about a conflict of interest…

# Anon a miss Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 1:50 pm e

They won’t respond and why should they? This Core flaming will all blow over soon and then it will be business as usual. Besides, what do they care? Those Apple products that you guys bought from Incredible Connection/Digicape etc were IMPORTED BY CORE anyways! And where are those resellers gonna get more stock from? From Core, LOL. Its not like anyone else is even ALLOWED to import Apple products into SA. Monopolies are so lame and there are LOTS on South Africa.

Guess Who Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 2:28 pm e

I worked for Core HQ. Most resellers really hate The Core Group. Makro, Hifi and IC, the are forced to do business with Core. Believe me, some people from Core are not welcome anymore at these Head Offices.
They lost TomTom, (google TomTom / Core South Africa,) there are law suits because they ruined the TT Business. Unfortunately they have Nintendo as well, this is going strong as far as I can see. Go to Apple Sandton, they are grey importers as Core will call them, believe me the offer good service and full warranty !

 

# Can this be? Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 11:46 am e

All this info is most disturbing. If CORE is the only Distributor in South Africa, but are also infiltrating the Retail market, where does their loyalty lie when it comes to stock allocations? Would this explain why at times the iStores have stock, but not the other Resellers? Can this be? Somehow this doesn’t seem right… Talk about a monopoly…

MAC GIRL Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 9:45 am e

I worked at the istore for 2 years and working for the core company was horrible. I believe that customer service is comes first! And to them it wasnt, it was the last thing.. they were more worried about what the store looks like than anything else.
I aggree with the earlier post…. the reason for lack of knowledge is staff leaving after 2-6 months cause the core company treat their staff like crap!!
When they are not happy with a staff member they will work that person out of the company in the most horrific ways!!NO MATTER IF YOU WERE ONE OF THEIR STAR EMPLOYEES!! they just dont give a shit! And yes.. they do have the resellers by the balls… as the resellers cant complain cause there is no point to complaining if you can only deal with them and no one else. I also aggree with another post that said they should stick to distrubuting… and stay as far away from the retail stores as possible…. the worst part is… they wont! they are trying to increase their footprint and opening up more stores…. the waterfront was the first store to open.. and it was suppose to be their blue print store…they promised they will perfect that store before opening any others… but they didnt… the waterfront store had so many issues but they continued to open more… (money hungry)…
not realizing they were hurting the brand by doing that…
there are so many wrongs i dont ever think there would be a right!

 

# budmoto Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:17 pm e

The Core Business Group…. little people with big money.

I worked there and realized I couldn’t stay on and keep my sanity so I left. Service is abysmal.
The manager there, Karen, is a great person and good at what she does but she relies on Core and you can only imagine what that is like.
Your best bet is to support DigiCape until they are strong enough to compete with Core for the rights to distribute Apple products in South Africa.

# NOT!!! Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 4:19 pm e

The sad thing is that Core have forgotten that their main business should be DISTRIBUTION (as the only authorized distributors of Apple in SA), but they are so busy trying to push the resellers out of the market, that they’re stuffing up the entire brand in this country. No stock, no service, no nothing…. Mac products are so over priced in SA – I guess all the profit goes into Core’s pockets, ’cause apparently the resellers ain’t making much on it…

 

# Minnaar Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 12:03 pm e

That store is a joke. With the recent rand instability I was once again surprised at the wonder that is Apple in SA.

I went in to buy a dock for my iPhone, and it had a printed price on its package of R399. When I reached the till they told me sorry, the price has increased to R470.

Now this I dont understand. If you have it in stock, how can the price change the moment I buy it?

Is there not some law against this?

Apple in South Africa is a joke – the computers are overpriced compared to overseas as well. Lets see how long they take to decrease the prices now that the rand is stronger.

 

# PaulMark Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 12:47 pm e

I am a Apple convert through and through. Great products and (internationally) great service.

Since returning from the UK I have been shocked by the Apple retail experience in SA. There is no official Apple retail presence in SA. The iStores (owned by Core) are the closest thing to it. Unfortunately they are poor imitations of the genuine article. To start with the products are completely overpriced. This is blamed on exchange rates but of course the prices never go down when the rate improves. The staff know next to nothing about the computers they are trying to sell and seem to have the attitude that they are actually doing you a favour!

Wish Apple would realise the damage that Core is doing to their reputation for good service and open their own official Apple retail store in SA.

Havent said all that I have had good experiences at Digicape. Prices still arent great (Core sets the prices) but at least their service seems pretty decent.

 

# Anonymous Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm e

I am a current iStore employee (I cannot say which store), and I just have to say that I fully agree with Seth.

While I consider myself and a select few of my colleagues to be great salespeople and very knowledgeable with Apple’s products and accessories, as well as the tech industry in general, the majority of employees are not.

The reason for this is that the turnover of staff is very high (the average period of employment is usually only a couple of months before they decide to leave) and as a result they don’t have time to be trained properly or gain experience.

In my opinion, the reason the staff turnover is so high is because Core treats their employees, to put it simply, like complete shit. They do not keep their promises, their demands are unrealistic and they are very stingy.

I really hope Apple enter the market in South Africa and open up one of their official retail stores. Employees like myself and a few of my colleagues will happily abandon Core to work for Apple, officially.

Regards,

Anonymous iStore employee.

And so it goes on..

For those of you who haven’t had a chance to peruse the comments sections – check the original article and the follow-up article.

So not only will you be scoring freebies, you’ll be doing a good thing too! You see, this Rooibos tea producer (Royal-T) has pledged to donate all profits from it’s UK sales to a South African Children’s orphanage called Mama Lumka (www.mamalumka.org.za).

I found out how it all works, as well as some interesting facts! Like the fact that you can contact Royal-T and have them SEND FREE TEA TO A FRIEND!

Check this out, from Royal-T:

Rooibos Tea is a herbal bush tea exclusively found and grown in South Africa, and has the fastest growing number of sales compared to any other herbal tea cultivar available in the UK.

The reason for this is people seem to like the benefits of this tea:

• Rooibos tea is (naturally) caffeine free and only has half the tannin of ordinary tea

• Rooibos contains essential minerals and unique powerful antioxidants that can help with anti-aging and can have anti-inflammatory properties

• Naturally contains Polyphenols that can help protect the body from damage done by free radicals

• Can relieve digestive problems, nausea, vomiting, stomach cramps and constipation. It also can have a calming effect and alleviate irritability, insomnia and depression.

• Rooibos can help reducing cancer-associated changes in damaged DNA cells

• 100% Organic, completely pure and is steam sterilized

• Tastes not too dissimilar to normal tea.

Royal-T Rooibos uses the highest grade pure Rooibos available and is available nationwide now at all Costco stores and even offered at the same price as in South Africa (99p per pack of 40 tea bags).

To help educate people about the benefits of Rooibos and help the Mama Lumka orphanage, we have created a dedicated Twitter (www.twitter.com/rooibosT) and Blog (www.royalrooibos.com )
for the UK market.

Very cool. And how about this – For the launch they are also running a special offer till the end of July 2009 where anyone in the UK can win £100 and get free tea sent to a friend, or choose to donate the tea to the children’s orphanage charity.

More here at the Royal T website

I investigated what needs to be done and it looks like all you need to do is take a picture of yourself with Rooibos Tea and email it with your name and a contact number to win@royalrooibos.com.

They will pick one picture randomly at the end of July 2009 and send the winner £100 cash. All the pictures sent in will be displayed in a gallery on the website.

For more info or for pictures please email chris@huddlemind.com.

For competition details go to www.royalrooibos.com/campaign.

And I doubt they aren’t aware of it. When the comments section includes responses from current and ex-employees, as well as the owner of the Claremont iStore and a Google number 1 result for the search phrase “waterfront apple mac,” one would think it had come to their attention.

Not enough..

This, from a current Waterfront iStore employee (featured in the comments section of the original article):

Anonymous Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm

I am a current iStore employee (I cannot say which store), and I just have to say that I fully agree with Seth.

While I consider myself and a select few of my colleagues to be great salespeople and very knowledgeable with Apple’s products and accessories, as well as the tech industry in general, the majority of employees are not.

The reason for this is that the turnover of staff is very high (the average period of employment is usually only a couple of months before they decide to leave) & as a result they don’t have time to be trained properly or gain experience.

In my opinion, the reason the staff turnover is so high is because Core treats their employees, to put it simply, like complete shit. They do not keep their promises, their demands are unrealistic and they are very stingy.

I really hope Apple enter the market in South Africa and open up one of their official retail stores. Employees like myself and a few of my colleagues will happily abandon Core to work for Apple, officially.

Regards,

Anonymous iStore employee.

Do yourself a favour and check out the rest of those comments . Out of a current 85 comments, there is ONE positive comment. ALL the rest are negative and most of them are directed at both the iStore and the SA distributors, Core.

Look, they’re consistent – I’ll give them that.

It’s a pretty rad idea, with the best foosball table design winning their very own branded foosball table! Quite nice.

I had a little poke around and there are some pretty sick designs. There are about 20 at the moment and it was tricky choosing my favourite.

I went for this one in the end. A design sent in by Glasshouse.

Check it out:

Pretty sick..

I dig it.

It reminds me of the toys you find on the likes of Colin Jeffery and Alex Hulley’s desks. Those funny little creatures.

So anyway, I gave them my vote.

Go check it out and give them your vote. Just for fun. Let’s win them a foosball table.

Then, if they win it, they will be forced to play along with any request that we may have. Like a picture of the designers in speedo’s and bikini’s, playing a game of foosball.

Hey? Wouldn’t that be fun?

Exactly – let’s do it.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR THESE CLOWNS.

As I do.

This is how I’m rolling at the moment
Deal with it

Please enjoy the shoes which I have fallen absolutely in love with, as well as the jacket with old-school wooden buttons that I also got from Puma. Pretty sick hey? You’ve been missing those buttons, haven’t you? And there we were thinking Puma only did tight lumo stuff! Hah! We were very wrong, my friends.

Puma’s brand and rich history (awesome story about how it started if you don’t know it) has always intrigued me and I have embraced it in the very true sense of the word. Now it’s not in my nature to show-off TOO much, but I couldn’t help but show you these stunning pics below.

The result of a ballistic whirlwind 2 hour shopping experience I had at the Cape Town’s V&A Waterfront Puma on Friday.

The Puma Lifestyle store
On Cape Town V&A Waterfront’s “Death row”

The Puma lifestyle experience
Mother would be proud

The logo is so cool I almost didn’t want to unpack the bags. Nor did I want to throw them away. The red and the white logo… with the leaping Puma – come on, man – it’s just too much! I want it inside me.

I wouldn’t want to take up all your time showing you one product at a time, like the pair of green Puma Clyde Kozydan’s (plutz!) that I finally got my hands on, after reading about the shape and history on CoolHunting‘s website (made famous in the 70s by the endorsement of New York Knicks’ Walt Frazier, btw). As well as hearing (on HypeBeast‘s website) about the Los Angeles based painters and illustrators Kozyndan who designed them .

So instead I’ll just give you a broad overview of my radical haul of Puma Lifestyle clothing.

Very naughty.

Don’t be shy of the Rudolf Dassler jacket
Second from the right at the top

I must say, I had NO idea that Puma were connected to Evisu jeans? did you know that? And Ducati! How rad is that!? I mean, I knew they were connected to Ferrari , but had no idea about Ducati! And, let’s face it, Ducati is SO hot right now!

Actually, while we’re at it, let’s just get a quick close-up of my Evisu jeans and red distressed leather Ducati belt.

You know you want one!

I think I’ll stop there before I get TOTALLY carried away. I just wanted you to be AWARE of what was going on at Puma.

Crazy stuff.

I held back from the leather jackets they have there that will come in VERY handy during winter. I’m just waiting for the right time.. They’re so goddamn awesome – you know the ones I’m referring to? Those fitted leather jackets that the coolest kids in the world are wearing at the moment? Not too many zips… you know the ones..

God, I’ve wanted one for AGES!

It will be mine.

Oh yes, it will be mine..

[thanks alex]

Ok, so that makes Mother’s Day on May the 10th – THIS Sunday! So time is not a luxury you have. So hold on tightly, ‘cos I’m taking you on a quick ride. Which starts like this. It’s a real tin of fudge and I got it free and my mother won’t know the difference!

Yes, FREE.

Free!

You’re probably wondering how I got that fudge for free if the price above clearly states R49,95? Quite simple – that is because they gave me a R50 voucher when I signed up to the Woolworths online shopping system. And you can too. I’m dead serious – CLICK HERE and see for yourself. It’s not the only thing that costs R50, by the way!

So, that aside. You can pretty much count on Woolworths to have a selection featuring EVERYTHING that your mother would love. It doesn’t get much easier, to be honest. I found myself click-click-clicking away and securing some classic winners. I’m going to score some MAJOR points with the latest in the Woolworths TASTE cookbook series, which I remember my mom RAGING about to her cronies.

Woolworths TASTE cookbook
Major points!

Well it’s either that or one of these ridiculously awesome fleece gowns. My mother used to have one which she got from some up market lingerie store, but I stole it from her. I’m an only child – I can get away with that kind of stuff. But I do feel bad so I might throw in one of these beauties! Are you aware of how cuddly these are? She’ll feel like she’s snuggling up to a three week old golden lab.

Do you KNOW how awesome these gowns are?

But I don’t want to get carried away on the big things – I might throw in a few small items. Some exfoliating soap, for example, NEVER hurt anyone’s mother!

R19.95?
Come on, this is too easy!

Or the foam bath and body lotion combo!
At R49.95, you could get this free
With your R50 voucher when you sign up!

Throw it in!
I can see my grandmother enjoying these..

Chocolates..
..a given!

When last did anything cost less than R10?

Warming Booties?
My goodness, they’re too adorable!

And so it goes on – it’s actually getting a bit much. And those are only SOME of the Mother’s day gifts they’ve got. As I write this, I’m scrolling through the other items available and there are loads more gifts for mothers, grandmothers and mothers-to-be. From beautiful floral bouquets and pretty jewelry to delicious treats and bath time indulgences. For the mom who loves flowers, they’ve even got special Mother’s Day bouquets and potted plants .

And it’s affordable too – I noticed a bottle of sparkling wine for R24.95! And they’ve even got proper French Champagne for R215. The last time I bought a bottle of French Champagne somewhere else it cost R625! There’s shower gel, perfume, candles, vases, handbags, picture frames, gloves, body butter, travel bags, gift bags, note books, bracelets and more. It’s ENDLESS!

And remember, if you don’t know what to buy, you’ll do particularly well to get your mother/grandmother a Woolworths gift card – to let her decide what she wants to buy from Woolies.

Do yourself (and your mother) a favour and go to the Woolworths Online Shop, register, claim your fifty bucks, choose some Mother’s Day gifts and THEY’LL deliver it for you. To your mother’s door! I can’t recall it ever being any easier than that!

Click the image below to take you straight there!

CLICK HERE to shop online at Woolworths

Well done – you’re finally making sense of all the chaos and getting one step closer to living the holiday!

Go go go!

CLICK HERE to shop online at Woolworths

You know we don’t make a fuss about the EuroMillions lottery on 2oceansvibe unless it comes with a big jackpot. Well, this Friday is ANOTHER rollover with a jackpot of £82,000,000. In Dollars you’re looking at $120,000,000.

And, in Rands, it’s a gentle R1,037,300,000. In other words – ONE BILLION RAND.

These are my entries – what do you think?

I’m quite happy with my numbers
(Click here to get your own)

Quite nice that they threw in that voucher promotion at the end. They’ve been doing that for a while. In fact I had a few stored which I used today, which ended up in me only paying for one line! Hating that!

Now, we’ve chatted about this before and it’s one thing not buying a ticket EVERY week, but if you’re not buying a few tickets for the big draws, then you’ve kind of missed the whole point of being able to live the holiday. Just like what is suggested in all books about success (including the likes of The Secret and variations thereof), if you’re not able to visualise the success you wish to achieve, then you probably won’t get there. Being able to dream is the basis of all of these formulas – it unlocks the potential. Dropping a few bucks on lottery tickets is as basic as that formula gets.

But that’s all up to you. Personally, I’ve taken that “plunge” and, if I win, I will be buying the 1957 Ferrari 250 Testa Rossa (Phil Hill and Olivier Gendebien drove this car to victory at Le Mans in 1958, one of ten significant race victories this TR amassed in the 19 races it started between 1958 and 1961) at this year’s Leggende e Passione auction event at the Ferrari factory in Maranello in May.

The 1957 Ferrari 250 Testa Rossa

Ralph Lauren owns two of these beauties, and I would very much like to join the club. They’re expecting it to shatter the $10.89 million record set last year by my dream car (mentioned to you before here) the 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California Spyder. That shouldn’t be a problem after I win this weekend’s lottery!

In fact, just like a pledged to drive my scooter in a leopard print thong; I pledge to you now that if I win the lottery, I will go to that auction and bring back that car. And I’ll document the whole thing!

Maybe I’m dreaming? So what – I wouldn’t be able to without a ticket.

And then the “potential” would never be realised.

Are you even listening to what I’m saying?

CLICK HERE to get your lottery ticket safely online NOW!

*** UPDATE – THE DARN LOTTERY JUST ROLLED OVER FOR A SIXTH TIME! THIS WEEK’S JACKPOT IS £110,000,000.

That’s verging on R1.5 billion.

Hold me now.

CLICK HERE to get your lottery ticket safely online NOW!

[If you haven't watched part 1 then you need to do that first otherwise it won't make sense. Seriously]

It should be in the article below this one. If not, CLICK HERE.

And so, once you’ve done that, here is Part 2 (of 2), featuring Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model and BOMBshell girl, Genevieve Morton!

Fine

Video is below.

REMEMBER : For smooth viewing: JUST as you start playing, PAUSE the video to let it load up a bit, THEN PLAY it.

Enjoy:

Never mind the actual weather, the report was FINE!

I was hesitant when I first met Gen, but, I’ll be honest, [switch to high pitched voice] she won me over. Besides from being smoking hot, she is a bona fide cool chick.

Gen gets into character..

So here it is, people – the fourth 2oceansvibe Weather Girl joins us for this weeks weather report!

This comes with much love and, whilst ikraal.co.za do all the production work, a big thank you goes out to Nesslynne (The TBGess), who filmed the scooter thong scene… (God help us all).

Watch part 1, then part 2 (to come). Obviously.

The one part features the thong vibe and the other part features the weather report. You need to watch both to find out!

But, for smooth viewing: JUST as you start playing, PAUSE the video to let it load up a bit, THEN PLAY it.

PART 1 :

Thanks again Gen for being such a little star!

And the rest of you, have a wonderful weekend, my darlings.

I’ll be honest, it’s pretty much the ultimate T-shirt.

Seth raises his hands
To show there is no trickery afoot

So for a brand that used to trade almost exclusively online, fans will be pretty excited to note that they are FINALLY available at a retail outlet! That’s right, you can actually go into a shop and see the full range, try them on and get the perfect design and size to suit YOU! More about that in a second.

I lied earlier. I managed to get my hands on the WHOLE new range. I laid them out around The Safe House and took some pics for you. Check check check it out:

I can see you in the middle one
The Muse digs the one on the far right.
It’s not a good shot actually..
..the green is radder than it looks.

Batman and Province

Keep in mind that these are the ORIGINAL Ape Town T-shirts. There are a lot of fakes out there, but these guys own the actual trademark. So beware of knock-offs by the likes of Quiksilver that have been selling around town.

We can confirm that the ONLY place selling the original Ape Town T-shirts is Finger Clothing on Kloof Street (www.finger.co.za). It’s next to St. Elmo’s and opposite the Kloof Lifestyle Centre. Say… 60m up the road from Vida e. There’s a petrol station two shops down so you can nip in while you fill up your truck.

Or you can park underground at the Kloof Lifestyle Centre (first half an hour is FREE!)

Finger Clothing – Kloof Road – Cape Town
Sole suppliers of the original Ape Town brand

“One good ape deserves another”

Too awesome for words.

Stocks are limited so get yours now before they sell out!

I didn’t quite get the go ahead from Cape Town’s #1 pizza before I told you about the gift, but I’m happy to report that they have given it the double thumbs up! That’s how cool butlers Pizza are, keeping in mind there were 166 blogs nominated!

It’s just my way of saying thanks to everyone for being involved and giving SA blogging the effort it deserves! [blushing, emotional]

But I went a little bit further and insisted on TWO medium pizzas, with 4 toppings each. So that’s 332 pizzas! Pretty fucking cool, hey?

In the words of The Pointer Sisters:

I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it
I’m about to lose control and I think I like it
I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know
I know I want you

TO CLAIM YOUR PIZZAS :

Call your local Butlers branch (menus and numbers to call can be found on the Butlers Pizza website www.butlers.co.za) and tell them you would like to order on Seth’s 2oceansvibe account. Then give them the name of your blog, as well as the exact email address you used to register your blog for the awards (for security purposes).

And that’s that! Those of you who order from Butlers will know how radically radical the pizzas are already, but those who haven’t ordered before…well..just you wait for the explosion!

* Now, although Butlers have been known to drive to Hermanus (at a fee!)from time to time, blogs in other cities will be able to donate their pizzas to friends or readers of their blog in Cape Town, provided they email editor@2oceansvibe.com to let us know.

Enjoy it and thanks again to the SA Blog Awards organisers, Chevelle, sponsors and nominees.

And finally, a MASSIVE thank you goes out to Butlers Pizza for being such great contributors and sponsors of 2oceansvibe and the SA blogging world as a whole.

www.butlers.co.za – Cape Town’s #1 Pizza

Hmm – what’s this?

Whooah!!

HEY, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Dale for sending me this wonderful token of love and appreciation. Thanks, dude – it means a fuckload.

It is a wonderful excuse to celebrate – with this video of Heidi Klum playing Guitar Hero which I got from Dale’s website, idale.co.za!

What an incredible day we’re having here on planet earth!

]]> http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/04/09/daims-arrive-by-mail-now/feed/ 2 http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/04/07/just-jinjer-painting-the-us-with-new-single/ http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/04/07/just-jinjer-painting-the-us-with-new-single/#comments Tue, 07 Apr 2009 13:00:00 +0000 Seth Rotherham http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/04/07/just-jinjer-painting-the-us-with-new-single/ Read more...

I had a fix for a while, after receiving this incredible bag of mini-Daims from Los Angeles, from The Advertising Guy and The Italian.

A bag of mind-fucks

They used to be stocked at the usual boutique deli outfits, like Carlucci’s and Giovanni’s and then, amazingly, even the Friendly Store in Camps Bay. But then stocks started drying up and it was only Sweets From Heaven at the V&A Waterfront who had them.

Now…. there is nothing.

NOTHING!!!! I have been asking the people at Giovanni’s what the problem is and for MONTHS they have given it the big, “our supplier can’t get them anymore.” Hmm, not good enough, I’m afraid. FAIL.

I finished the aforementioned bag of Daims and removed it from my mind. I closed that box in my head and packed it away. I pretended everything was fine and I seemed to be managing ok.

That was until The Italian emailed me this picture, with the subject “DIE!” – confirming that she had bought it and would be reporting back..

Made with DAIM CHOCOLATE!
WHAT!!! I can’t take it any longer..

OH MY GOD!

CAN

YOU

IMAGINE??

It’s just too much. I can’t take it anymore. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM, PEOPLE!?!?!? I would like to give anyone out there a little tip off. You could charter a jet with bags of these chocolates on board, fly them to Cape Town and sell them for R100 a chocolate and I swear to God they will all be sold. I’ll even write a free article for you.

Just do it.

Please.

Someone!

For God’s sake!

Sexy, almost evil..
Jack Black Beer in the new box!

Besides from keeping the beers cooler (say no to sunlight), and looking a lot sexier, the box also has easy-to-carry handles! Just ask Mavis, she carries them from the garage up to The Safe House every week! For you it means easier carrying from the liquor store to your car/scooter (can fit nicely under your feet!).

I think I also forgot to mention that the Jack Black Beer recipe is EVER improving and, as a result, it’s pretty fucking perfect at the moment, as the beer is finally being brewed right here in Cape Town (rather than just outside Hermanus, before). Less transport = better beer quality. FACT.

Jack Black Beer
Touch yourself..

Boxes retail at R150 (R6.25 a beer, it’s a Jerry Oke!) - During this so called “recession” what more do you want than a few of these puppies around the house with your mates climbing in!

Come on, man! They’re BUILT for Super 14!

CLICK HERE to see the Jack Black Beer website and find out where they are available. Go to the “Find Us” section.

CLICK HERE to see Titanic actor, Billy Zane, showing us how to open a bottle of Jack Black Beer.

AUTO MAGIC

Ok, I had this small C-Class Merc which was was always used as a spare, for errands and for when friends were in town. But, due to a man’s need for multiple toys, I ran out of space at The Safe House and I simply had to get rid of the thing. You feel my vibe.

So, I put the car into the AutoTrader and, AS the ad goes to print, a friend borrows the car and gets into a little fender bender. Hey, no problem, these things happen. It wasn’t his fault anyway. But needless to say Murphy’s Law kicked in and, at that exact moment, some calls started to come in to BUY the car! Fuck sakes! I wrote down a few of their names and numbers and said I’d get back to them shortly.

Enjoy this vibe.

Ooooh!
NOT ideal..

Awesome..

So The Roofer, being a part of the “industrial” vibe, tells me about his buddy who owns a Cape Town “panel beater” place called Auto Magic, who SPECIALISE in quick turnaround time.

“Oh reeeeeaally… WHERE are they?” I asked, waiting for him to tell me they were at the arse end of the world.

“That’s the beauty about these guys,” he tunes, “they FETCH the car and BRING IT BACK to you! They’ll even come TO you to do the QUOTE!”

“Don’t talk shit,” I responded, angry with the clearly ill-informed advice.

“Trust me,” came The Roofer’s response.

Hmm, ballsy.

And that’s when the most incredible script started to unfold before me. The exact same script The Roofer had described. The oke CAME to my garage (it could still drive) and gave me a quote, which I accepted on the spot. He then drove the car away – immediately.

That was the Monday morning. On the Thursday I got a call from Auto Magic.

“Where can we deliver the car to?” they asked.

“Are you joking?” I asked, genuinely stunned. “Or couldn’t you fix it.”

“No, sir, it’s fixed. Where can we deliver it?”

I shit you not, they fixed that Merc in THREE DAYS. They took it from me on a Monday and returned it on the Thursday. Looking like this:

Oh COME now!
Stop it!

I had lined up a few people to see the car, but said I was away. I called them back to come and see the car. The first guy bought it. He asked if the car had been in any accidents. I told him it had, and that a friend had “dinged” the front right and door panels. He had a close look and said, “can’t see anything.”

“I know,” I smiled.

And that, my friends, is the end of that!

So follow my lead and, when you think of anything to do with Cape Town panel beating, dents or body restoration – trust me – go no further than these guys!

AUTO MAGIC

They work on all makes of cars
and belong to SAMBRA & RMI

12 months guarantee on workmanship
& lifetime on paint.

Give them a shout on 021-5116449
or 0829215855 for their mobile quotation unit.

SICK!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE

Confident? Big time!

I’m learning about this new vibe called “Multiples.” they have it on greatodds.com, which is who I’ve been using to get into this new vibe of mine – sports betting!

It makes watching sport on the weekend SO much more fun. And, with multiples, you can win a few thousand for a mere R50 bet!

(BTW, “multiples” is like you get in horse racing, where you choose the top 3 or 6 in a horse race, with MASSIVE returns. So you can choose a spread of a few sports bets, and bet on ALL of your choices coming true – with HUGE odds. Check below where I bet R50 for a possible R3,800 payout!)

GET INVOLVED!!
Make some MOOLA!!

You all know how much I dig tennis, and I reckon it would be a fairly safe bet. Like if there are three tennis matches going on a specific weekend and you’re pretty certain of the winners. Or maybe you’re pretty certain of 3 of the matches. Then, instead of betting on just one, for a small return, you bet on ALL THREE – with MUCH bigger returns.

Check it out.

Enjoy that!
R5,152 from R1,000!

Then I went for some Super 14 action:

R3,818 from R1,000
Fine!

I’m not too clued up on football, but a mate of mine advised this bet:

R3,485 from R1,000!
Sick!

I was told of another good thing:

A quick stand-alone bet
R2,050 from R1,000
Nicely..

And then, finally, I put JUST R50 on this little vibe:

R3,694 from just R50!!
Now THAT’S what I call fun!

R3,694.17 FROM JUST R50!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THAT COMES THROUGH!!

IT’LL BE TOO FUNNY.

I’LL GIVE YOU SOME OF IT IF I WIN THAT BET!

So there you have it. Wish me luck and give it a bash yourself. It’s so much fun. I mean, if you are SURE of a number of outcomes over a weekend, you can drop just a little cash (R50?) and comes out with a few grand!

That’s what I’m talking about.

It makes watching the games SO much more fun!

CLICK HERE to get betting!

Christ, LIVE A LITTLE!

Good luck!

]]> http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/06/its-sports-betting-time-again/feed/ 7 http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/27/woolworths-thai-green-curry-in-a-can/ http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/27/woolworths-thai-green-curry-in-a-can/#comments Fri, 27 Feb 2009 13:56:00 +0000 Seth Rotherham http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/27/woolworths-thai-green-curry-in-a-can/ Read more...

The contents of the Love Box

Knead (Wembley Square – Cape Town) are offering the boxes (with the above delights) at R75, which includes a R10 donation to St. Anne’s Homes which provides shelter and support for pregnant, abused and homeless women and their children. I do hope they’ll be forwarding some of the proceeds to Rihanna.

I thought I would take things further and have got my Butlers to take all of my Love Boxes to the various angels in my life. They liked the idea so much, they are offering it to you as well. For R99, Butlers will deliver your Love Boxes for you. Or the original R75 if you order a pizza!

Look out for my Butlers running around the city with
Love Boxes all over their vibe!

And lastly, when you decide to be a LOVE BOXER,
remember to choose the colour of your card
according to your love vibe:

RED for TRUE LOVERS

PINK for SECRET ADMIRERS

YELLOW for FAMILY AND FRIENDS

GREEN for TEAM WORKERS

BLACK for HATE

I’m kidding, there is no black.

Get involved people – this MUST be the tastiest, easiest, most satisfying Valentine’s Day vibe I have ever come across created.

TOO divine!

Place your order at 0860 BUTLER (288537)
during office hours

or call 072 143 0000

or email loveboxer@butlers.co.za

]]> http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/12/send-a-valentines-day-love-box/feed/ 2 http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/04/what-butlers-will-do-for-cash/ http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/04/what-butlers-will-do-for-cash/#comments Wed, 04 Feb 2009 14:15:00 +0000 Seth Rotherham http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/04/what-butlers-will-do-for-cash/ Read more...