We’re pretty blown away by the response to the “Seth Song” we’ve been playing fairly regularly, over at 2oceansvibe Radio. It’s not only a damn funny tune, but I tell you what – it’s got the heads bopping too! Apparently The Assembly lost their minds to it last Saturday!

The guys behind the tune are none other than I Scream And The Chocolate Stix – the same guys who gave you the sensational online viral tune My Cape Town.

People LOVE that tune – including the likes of Helen Zille, I might add!

So anyway, we’ve had a number of requests for the lyrics of the Seth Song. And here theyt are – along with an online recording of the tune.

Press the orange play button below.

Enjoy!

So we wrote recently about Gordon Ramsay making an ever so slightly unceremonious exit from Cape Town, and specifically, the One & Only hotel.

Needless to say, The Big Bad Potty Mouth and his cronies are slightly upset about this. I mean, it must leave a little bit of a sting to be tossed out on your ass, for whatever reason.

And the reasons for his exit have been widely speculated, but we’re a little closer to the truth now that the legal dogs of war have been loosed.

CLICK HERE for the LAW, baby

When Sol Kerzner enlisted the expertise of the man who is arguably the world’s most popular chef, Gordon Ramsay, he would have felt confident that the star food aspect of his monstrous V&A Waterfront hotel, the One and Only, was buttoned tight.

Gordon Effin’ Ramsay opened the five star Maze restaurant at the hotel, but alas, without the mouth-cannon himself in regular attendance at the restaurant (he has a number of other Maze branches dotted across the globe), the masses saw no particularly pressing reason to avail themselves of the establishment’s fine fare.

JUST EFFIN’ CLICK HERE

Just cruising over the sand in funny shoes. It’s one thing taking off your helmets (ta) but, let’s face it, that doesn’t make it ok..

Not ideal – taking your overseas guests for a lunch and exposing them to a pair of balls on a sunny weekend.

Or your kids – let’s not forget about the kids out there.

Mark my words – in five years time the law will see this in the same light as flashing.

[thanks peter]

For those of you new to the concept – let me first fill you in on the Dreamy Burger. This following excerpt was taken from last year’s burger special announcement:

I remember when my all time favourite Caprice waitress, Justine, first described the Dreamy Burger to me. It was something to do with a slab of cheese on top of the meat, and then she began to describe how the hot mushroom sauce is then poured over that slab of cheese, melting it in the process. As she described this final stage of the preparation she actually lost her breath for a second, her eyes rolled back and her mouth opened and hung agape for a few moments. I swear to God – it was like something out of When Harry Met Sally .“Jesus,” I said, “get me one of those!”

So ja, that chick in the pic is not Justine, but she just wants to show you how mnandi that burger is. And she’s not even eating the Dreamy Burger – she’s eating another one and she is still close to having a double orgasm.

Oh my God – you said “orgasm!”

Go get your very own – in fact get 2 for the price of 1 – Mondays to Thursdays between the hours 12:30 – 22:00.

That said, if you have a burger for breakfast, you won’t get 2 for 1.

Which is fair enough.

They have an egg special, actually.

Not really – they don’t.

Let’s just stick to burger chat for now – ok?

I’ll give these Nando’s characters one thing, they move pretty darn swiftly!

Behold the latest viral ad to get cooked on their flame-frilled ovens. This time it’s targeted at Paris Hilton, following the marijuana skandaal in Pretoria last Friday.

If you can’t read the small print, it goes like this, “Whether it’s for lunch, supper or a case of the munchies, our flame-grilled Peri-Peri chicken is fuaranteed to hit the spot. And, with over 260 restaurants in South Africa, and restaurants in the States, you’ll be able to get your Nando’s fix from pretty much anywhere.”

Needless to say today’s Tuesday Tabs will feature Paris Hilton’s buddy, Jennifer Rovero who was caught smoking the joint and took the blame for Paris.

More on that later..stay tuned..

[thanks nick]

Rafa Takes Wimbledon

Nadal Wins Wimbledon – Well the poms will be horrified that Andy Murray didn’t win. They had better start putting pressure on him for next year’s Wimbledon ASAP! God forbid they don’t jinx him like they do every one of their sportsmen (I know – he’s Scottish – the irony etc.). The only team that does manage to get anything right are the cricketers – and half the bloody side is South African. [time]

Paris Hilton’s Buddy Given 14 Days To Leave South Africa – The South African government has given a former Playboy playmate and friend of US socialite Paris Hilton 14 days to leave the country, Home Affairs said on Saturday. This comes after Jennifer Rovero was caught in possession of marijuana at a World Cup game in Port Elizabeth on Friday. [mail&guardian]

Elin Woods Is Getting $100Million – It seems that prior claims of a $750Million divorce payout from Tiger Woods are slightly incorrect. Nonetheless, the more accurate figure of $100Million is not to be sneezed at. But once she has that cash, she cannot say a word. No Oprah, no book deal. Nothing. Shame.. [tmz]

Uruguay Striker, Luis Suárez, Claims “Hand Of God” – The Uruguay striker Luis Suárez has evoked Diego Maradona’s infamous goal against England in 1986, declaring “the Hand Of God now belongs to me” after he broke Ghana’s hearts and helped his side reach the World Cup semi-finals. [guardian]

Cristiano Ronaldo Is A Father – Real Madrid and Portugal winger, Cristiano Ronaldo has become the father of a baby boy, according to an announcement on his Twitter account. The 25-year-old, whose World Cup campaign came to and end this week when Portugal were knocked out by Spain, posted the announcement on both his Twitter and Facebook pages. [telegraph]

The Mel Gibson Tapes – It’s only a matter of days before we get to hear the tape that Mel’s ex is holding, which includes the quotes, “You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault” and “‘I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will blow me first.” And yes, there’s more.. [dailymail]

World Cup Trophy Made Of Cocaine – A replica World Cup trophy seized by anti-drugs police in Colombia is made out of cocaine, lab tests have confirmed. The 36cm (14in) statue was found in a delivery crate at Bogota airport. The crate was in an airmail warehouse waiting to be sent to an address in Spain. Very cunning, guys.. [bbc]

Two-Headed Calf Born In Egypt – An Egyptian farmer this week said one of his cows gave birth to a two-headed calf, after two hours of strenuous labor. The farmer, Sobhy el-Ganzoury, called it a “divine miracle.” The animal is expected to survive.El-Ganzoury is feeding milk to the calf with a baby bottle, and he told the AP that the animal is a reminder that “God is able to do anything.” [gawker]

Lady Gaga Hits 10 Million Friends On Facebook – Lady Gaga, the 24-year-old whose real name is Stefani Germanotta, became the first living person to have more than 10 million fans. By Sunday Lady Gaga had accumulated 10,333,791 fans, beating out strong contenders like President Obama, who had only 9,670,042 million. [nytimes]

Huffington Post Journalist Praises SA And “Ubuntu” – “I have been truly humbled on this trip. And while I have my gripes regarding development here, I cannot say one negative thing about how South Africa has handled its duties as host and hostess to the world. If I could say one thing to sum up being here during this once-in-a-lifetime experience, it would be that I’ve learned the value of Ubuntu.” [huffpo]

“The Chief” Needs Your Vote – True 2oceansvibers out there who are familiar with the 2oceansvibe Characters list, will know about “The Chief.” His real name is Simon and he is a close friend of mine who takes care of a number of villages in the Eastern Cape. His organisation “Village Corps” has made the shortlist of a NAU “Grant For Change” competition. Your vote can help send a much needed $10,000 grant in their direction. Come on, gang – it’s one click. [clickvotewhenyougetthere]

Joey Chestnut Wins Fourth Hot Dog Eating Title – Joey “Jaws” Chestnut won his fourth consecutive title at today’s 95th annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island, eating 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes. His arch-rival, and six-time champ, Takeru Kobayashi was arrested after the competition. Chestnut earns $150,000 a year from eating contests. [gawker]

Caprice Launches New Website – The original & most famous ‘Eat, Drink and Play’ venue in Cape Town, Café Caprice offers the ultimate hangout for a cool set looking to dine on delicious food, sip on sundowners and watch all top sporting events on one of our big screens, in one of the world’s most beautiful settings. [cafecaprice]

DJ Sasha in SA – Smirnoff, is at it again, bringing DJ Sasha to @tmospheer in Cape Town on Friday and will head north to Truth in Johannesburg on Saturday. For those who are still slightly nostalgic after Tiesto and Mashup Street, tickets can be bought through Computicket. Not for Sale to Persons Under the Age of 18. Drink Responsibly. Link for more information. [smirnoffexperience]

[thanks sean]
[photo source]

It is a pity that successful breakfasts are so hard to come by in Cape Town. the two most important things, crispy bacon and hard toast, are still, clearly, too much to ask.

The Muse and I made the fatal error of getting breakfast at the Waterfront on Saturday morning. Why were we not at Miss K you ask, given that we were in the area? Good question, Aguado. Well, there were many reasons, not least of which was the fact that we had to pick up some gear at Puma (*cough* please enjoy my new Kehinde Wiley’s).

So we ended up grabbing breakfast at a place upstairs, who were not branded in any way to suggest a particular lifestyle/religion. It was only after we sat down, grabbed a coffee, opened the paper and ordered brekkie, that we were informed that they do not serve any pork products whatsoever. They had confirmed when we walked in that they do serve breakfast, but hadn’t divulged the fact that they did not serve bacon and, seemingly, someone’s religion had got in the way of our breakfast. Not that we have a problem with speciality restaurants and/or religions – we’d just like you to make it more clear in your branding. This simple gesture (verbal or maybe even a little symbol on the branding?) would have avoided ruining most of my morning.

Not surprisingly, if you Google the word “breakfast” and flip over to image results, the very first image (in the world, on Google), shows a plate with eggs and bacon. It looks like we aren’t the only people who assume the pig.

It was pretty much downhill from there as my R60 omelette (with ingredients I wouldn’t have normally chosen, as they didn’t have ham) tasted like my new Puma’s and The Muse’s poached eggs came with about a liter of water in the middle of the plate. If you had just arrived, you would have thought we were lounging next to a plunge pool.

But the crowning moment was, as usual, the toast.. (wait for it)

Why is this so difficult to make?

Read the rest of this entry »

Aah yes, finally! The de facto home of Cape Town’s cool, Café Caprice is loved by a band of loyal fans from locals to international stars and sportsmen, and its unique events and initiatives never fail to impress, with the Soccer Babes Calendar shoot being no exception.

1 X angel

After gathering up some of the country’s finest female specimens to represent the various soccer super teams visiting our country, a model shoot was staged at Café Caprice, choreographed by Brandnew Marketing in order to create a sexy 2010/11 desktop calendar.

The shoot was held in the upstairs section of the venue, in conjunction with a party throughout the rest of the café, which drew a crowd of epic proportion.

I popped in and noticed one of the angels was misbehaving. She agreed that a hiding was in order.

I know it looks like I’m overdoing it, but she was being naughty. Not that she seemed to mind..

Cafe Caprice desktop calendar which will be available for download from www.cafecaprice.co.za from 1 July, with a limited number printed for VIP’s.

x

I grabbed a burger at Hudson’s last night and ran into the owner, Dave. He informed me that the place above Hudsons, The Saasveld Lodge, still had availability for the World Cup. So if you’ve got mates coming to town who aren’t able to make use of the ridiculous deals being offered at my primary residence, the 5-star Cape Royale Hotel (directly over the road from the stadium), then maybe this would be a good option?

They’ve got rooms for as low as R800 a night during the world cup, slap-bang in the middle of one of Cape Town’s most exclusive and fashionable areas – Kloof Street!

The Saasveld Lodge
Budget World Cup accommodation
in the heart of Kloof Street

You’ve got Hudson’s downstairs, you’ve got Woolworths and Wellness Warehouse over the road, and a Nando’s and vida e just 30 meters down the drag!

Shame, you poor thing!

Follow link for more pictures and information.

Read the rest of this entry »

Located on the seafront in Granger Bay, STUDIO2010 offers the public two exceptional entertainment options: by day and during evening matches, the venue is a luxurious match viewing lounge with great food and drinks and giant screens to catch all the soccer action. All inclusive VIP packages, a la carte or bar only options are available. Situated walking distance from the Cape Town Stadium, STUDIO2010 is also ideal for pre and post match get-togethers for match-ticket holders.

By night STUDIO2010 is transformed into a VIP cocktail club hosting some of the best local and international DJ’s and one-off parties. Studio By Night launches on 10 June with the Grand Finale of the South African Playboy Bunny Search. Joining the gorgeous girls at this sizzling party is renowned Ibiza DJ, Sam Totolee. Sam is one of the most sought-after DJ’s on the celebrity circuit and has played for the likes of Uma Thurman, Kate Moss and Rod Stewart.

Click flyer to zoom in:

Click flyer to zoom in!
CLICK HERE for website

Joining Sam on Friday is 2oceansvibe’s favourite DJ Sox, one of South Africa’s best loved DJ’s, famous for his electrifying and crowd-pleasing sets. Saturday night is the first of a series of “Studio 2010 & Friends” showcasing the best local talent. The debut night will feature the blond bombshell DJ-act, the Digital Divas. The weekend party continues on Sunday with guest DJ Jeremy Behrmann accompanied by live sax and percussion. Jeremy is a regular highlight on the Cape Town clubbing scene.

STUDIO2010 is open daily from 12pm – 2am.

Check out www.studio2010.co.za

I’m not kidding you – they’re gonna give them free food if they lose!

Hysterical!

Check out the fine print.

CLICK IMAGE to enlarge if you can’t read the small print

[thanks clinton]

Kelly Brook was in Cape town recently for a FHM World Cup shoot. Dressed in nothing but a bikini, these still shots and video give us an idea of what to expect when she does her upcoming Playboy spread, which will earn her $500,000.

Not a bad pay day..

Kelly Brook enjoys lions

Check it out:

She’s already got a Lion of her own in the form of England rugby star Danny Cipriani, but Kelly Brook’s experience with the real thing is probably a little limited. However, she seemingly took to juggling three lions at once with relative ease in a photoshoot for men’s magazine FHM.

Miss Brook, 30, took part in the shoot ahead of the World Cup, which kicks off this weekend. She was keen to show her support for the England team – with the iconic Three Lions a nod to the team, who are currently in training for the tournament in South Africa.

Kelly is also set to pose for Playboy later this year, after signing a half-a-million dollar deal. Her agent Jonathan Shalit told the Mail Online that Kelly was delighted to have been chosen. He said: ‘She’s absolutely thrilled. It’s such a great honour for her, especially when you think about the icons that have graced the cover of the magazine over the years.’

[read more]

That’s just great – well done, Kelly! You get, what we in the industry refer to as a “double thumbs up!”

If you want to see the video of Kelly modeling on Camps Bay beach, just follow the link..

Read the rest of this entry »

You can only imagine the zone you can get into, listening to some vinyl, with a joint in one hand and your new iPad in the other – on the day that Google Maps goes live with “Google Street View” for Cape Town. My God, I have traipsed every square inch of this city, all from the comfort of The Safe House sofa!

First I popped in at Caprice to try out the 2oceansvibe cocktail:

Cafe Caprice on Google Maps “Street View”
Nice day they were having when they shot that!

Mmm, that was good!

Follow the link to see where else I went and also learn how to do this on your own computer or iPhone or iPad!

Read the rest of this entry »

Oh Lordi, Lordi – they’re taking it to the next level at Caprice this Thursday..

Check it out – they’re shooting a Caprice calendar (with these eight hot models representing various soccer teams, all wearing virtually eff-all) in the upstairs section of Cappers and AT THE SAME TIME they’ve got DJ duo “Crazy White Boy” absolutely murdering it on the decks, for this fully fledged Caprice party!

Here’s a sneak preview of two of the models they’ll be using for the calendar (click thumbnails to enlarge):

You know when you get to these parties and you wish you reserved a table? Well, why don’t you grow up and do just that? Book your table at info@cafecaprice.co.za

And if you just wanna go to the party, REALISE that it is invite only (you’re invited) and REALISE that you should RSVP to this invite to tammy@brandnewmarketing.co.za

That’s all you have to do – then your name will be on the door list.

It’s all very easy – you just have to remember to do it!

See you there!

GO!

Miss K fans will be over-the-moon about their new menu! The girls sent it through to me and I can confirm that all the favourites are still there, with some awesome new additions!

Here is the breakfast section alone!

Oh yes!

I know – how radical is that?

But you must check out the rest of their menu. They’ve even got a wine list (yes, obviously De Grendel is on it!).

CLICK HERE for the new (full) Miss K menu!

Look, I’m certainly not distraught at being “stuck” in Provence for the next month, but I am somewhat “irked” that I am missing out on the winter specials going on at my primary residence, the Cape Royale hotel! In particular, at1800 Restaurant and Equinox spa! So I thought I better pop them up here for you to make use of them instead!

CLICK IMAGES below for individual websites.

I’ve had tons of people tell me they have tried out this special.
If you haven’t yet – trust me, you need to do it..

This is where I send Elbe van der Merwe, when she behaves.
If you see her, ask her about it. It’s 100% glorious!

Basically, you can get a glass of bubbly, a facial, a manicure, a pedicure or massage and valet parking, for roughly the same price as you get a sandwich from Melissa’s! That’s how the Equinox Spa at my primary residence, the Cape Royale hotel, is rolling at the moment.

Personally I’ve had close on 500 massages at Equinox. It’s pretty much a wonderland of pamperrific excess and you need to go.

Mmm, you like that..

Not that we should forget the amusing bushes, glass of wine and 200 grams of the best rump or rib eye your taste buds have ever imagined. For the same price as you will be tipping car guards after the world cup. Such will be the norm following our European guests’ unintentional excessive custom during the tournament.

Put that steak inside your body..

Happy Birthday, Julius!
LET’S CELEBRATE!

Malema, at 29, claims eternal roots in poverty – Once poor, always poor, ANC Youth League president Julius Malema told several thousand people who gathered in Seshego outside Polokwane to celebrate his 29th birthday. Julius Malema was lauded as a comrade, a fighter, an anti-imperialist, protector of the aged and generally a guy with who you want to stay on good terms. Oh, and as the future president of the country. [dailymaverick]

SA’s Jordy Smith Cleans Kelly Slater – Ja, you see, that’s what I’m talking about. They said he was the next Kelly Slater, but that’s where they were wrong. Kelly Slater is the old Jordy Smith. Oooh, cheeky. Smith caused a major upset in Round 4 of the Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast yesterday, eliminating former nine-time ASP World Champion Kelly Slater (USA). This was first time they have been head to head and you are welcome to check out the video action here. [thebombsurf]

Man Shoots Two Officers Outside Pentagon – A man coolly and calmly approached the screening area outside the Pentagon Thursday evening and opened fire, grazing two Pentagon police officers before they returned fire, critically wounding him, officials said. As the officers started to ask him for his pass to get into the Pentagon, he drew a weapon from his pocket and started shooting immediately at the officers from a few feet away. Not ideal. [cnn]

Elin Is Moving Back With Toiger – On Wednesday, Elin and Tiger spent approximately three hours together at the house where they will once again live together. They were in the backyard, and at one point Tiger kissed Elin on the cheek three times and they hugged. Baby steps, I guess. Speaking of baby steps, can you imagine if a lovechild had to surface at this point? [radar]

Are the Glory Days Of Casual Sex Over? – The days of glorified casual sex are over…or are they? On the one hand, we haven’t seen Paris Hilton’s undies in years, raunchy Christina Aguilera married herself off and has been replaced by virginal Taylor Swift, and even “the fictional Carrie Bradshaw is wed and living a New York domestic fantasy,” writes Jessica Grose on Slate. As further proof of the backlash against casual sex, Grose points to quite a few recent memoirists dealing with “sex regret.” [newser]

Johnny Depp’s Partner Vanessa Forbids Angelina Jolie Film – Johnny Depp’s longtime gal pal, Vanessa Paradis, has no intention of joining the trail of brokenhearted Hollywood ladies left crying to Oprah Winfrey after Angelina Jolie stole their men. So when Vanessa Paradis found out her “Pirates of the Caribbean” stud and Jolie were to shoot a passionate love scene in their new movie “The Tourist,” she ordered Depp to find another gig. [nypost]

“Save My Baby!” (The Chicks Are Going To Eat This Story Up) – On January 30, two-month-old Maria Chan, of Brooklyn, was thrown from a third-story window by her parents in a bid to save her from an apartment fire. Barely two weeks later, the same surreal nightmare was repeated. There was seven-month-old Zaniyah Hewitt, of the Bronx, dangling out from a fifth-story window as smoke engulfed her. Unbelievably, both girls escaped alive, though only one of their mothers would survive… [dailybeast]

Jessica Simpson Feels ‘Betrayed’ by Mayer’s Sex Gossip – Oh God. Jessica Simpson is angry about John Mayer’s public boast that she’s “crazy” in bed. “I’m not angry,” Simpson, 29, said on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” today. “well, I’m a little bit angry …” When Winfrey asked why the pop singer was upset, Simpson replied, “Um … well, I don’t want people to know how I am in bed.” Umm, ja, the last thing you want people to hear is that you’re incredible in bed. It’s like that time everyone found out how large my penis is – that really was the end for me! [abc]

The Oscars Goodie Bag Is Off The Charts – You know those goodie bags that you get at “VIP” functions in Cape Town? I give most of it to Mavis and street children. That would not be the case if I was at the Oscars. Quietly enjoy a $45,000 safari, a $14,500 hotel stay in Monaco, personal training sessions, a Tiffany cat collar and more! Now that’s what I’m talking about. And I’ll tell you something else, that cat collar isn’t going on a cat… [fashionista]

Ancient Egyptian Queen Behenu’s Burial Chamber Unearthed – French archaeologists announced Wednesday the discovery outside Cairo of the burial chamber of a mysterious queen from Egypt’s Old Kingdom more than 4,000 years ago. The necropolis of Saqqara outside Cairo has yielded a string of new discoveries as 10 different teams excavate a previously untouched area of these burial grounds were used continuously for more than 2,000 years until Roman times. Sick! [huffers]

Café Caprice and Jameson Host Red Carpet Retro Party This Sunday- It’s kind of like an Oscar party, you could say. So dust off your Hollywood Glam, prepare your acceptance speech, make sure you know your good side and get down to Cafe Caprice to celebrate being nominated as one of the chosen few! Sunday night, 6pm. Dress: Hollywood Glam. [cafecaprice]

Cosmo Sex Survey Coming Along Beautifully – Cosmopolitan.co.za launched its second sex survey for its growing online audience and this year the survey delves a little deeper into the sexual habits of the Cosmo reader. Even more creative than last year, this year’s survey asks readers whether the current political climate in the country affects their sex lives and whether they filmed their bedroom escapades. Just wait till you see the Jacob Zuma question towards the end! [cosmosexsurvey]

Barbie By Christian Louboutin – Barbie continues to take the fashion world by storm and thanks to haute accessories designer Christian Louboutin, she’s just received a second head-to-toe Parisian makeover. Dressed in a khaki, safari- inspired dress and over the knee, hot pink fringed boots, Barbie is ready to Spring into style this season. Barbie revealed her first outfit in the Christian Louboutin collection last November, the Cat Burglar. [luxuo]

Georgia Parents Trade Sex With Daughter For Used-Car Payments – From the America Has Devolved Even Further And Now We Want To Go Live In A Cave Department: The two parents in the case, both 36 years old, had a history of drug use and abuse. They bought the car, a 1998 Dodge minivan, in March of 2008, proceeded to not make a single payment, and then forced their daughter (14) to have sex with their dealership’s 66-year-old manager. [jalopnik]

Lindsay Lohan Takes It Off For Purple – Terry Richardson did the shoot for the new issue of Purple magazine. Just to remind you, her last major shoot featured Lindsay Lohan topless in Muse magazine, and Terry Richardson is the guy that shot Miranda Kerr topless in the Pirelli Calendar. That’s probably why the result has quite a bit of bra and bum action. [egotastic]

[thanks jase, styli]

You will recall the other day we mobilised the troops and asked you to head through to Food24 and vote for Lee Ann and Kirsten in the “Hot Chef” competition.

This is the vibe we went for:

Oh my goodness look at this! Kirsten and Lee Ann, our little spunks from Miss K Food Cafe in Green Point (next to our primary residence, The Cape Royale) are up for an important accolade! It’s the News24 Sizzling Hot Chefs competition, and 2oceansvibe is 100% behind them!

Seriously gang, you know how the vibe works – it takes care of people that deserve looking after. And world-class food aside, these girls aren’t the hardest on the eye which, as far as I can see, is the point of this competition!

You’ll never believe who won… Oh, did the headline give it away?

So why don’t you just stop what you’re doing right now and give yourselves a round of applause, because Miss K won the whole thing and are now, officially, the most sizzling hot chef’s in Cape Town!

Kirsten and Lee Ann
Can keep drinking..

Well done Kirsten and Lee Ann!

And well done to all the 2oceansvibers out there for ensuring the vibe remains cool and victorious at all times!

Be sure to visit Miss K if you haven’t already. It’s just to the right of my residence, The Cape Royale Hotel , Main Road, Green Point.

Check out the full results of the Hot Chefs competition here.

The Grand Café hit the scene a few years ago, after the building it occupies sold for a record sum. The Camps Bay strip welcomed them in place of the abortion that was Opium – giving us an upmarket dining alternative (if you must consider any of the other “upmarket/fine dining” alternatives in Camps Bay). It was well received and reflected the theme and style that made The Grand Hotel in Plettenberg Bay such a success.

The Grand

Good reviews and a smattering of issues to do with service, did the rounds in Cape Town, allowing The Grand to take their recipe for success one step further, with the launch of The Grande Café & Beach, A Nikki Beach / Blue Marlin style concept on the rocks in Granger Bay.

Whilst there certainly is a want for such an establishment, one wonders if this may have been a bit premature? And when I say premature, I am referring to the service complaints that were not fully addressed (fixed) at The Grand in Camps Bay. The result seems to be a brand spreading itself a bit thin over two Cape Town locations, resulting in a spiraling backlash from Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard and beyond.

The emails I have received over the couple months from 2oceansvibe readers about the service at The Grand (both Camps Bay and Granger Bay) and the nightmares when it came to booking and getting a table were gaining momentum, as I found myself waiting over an hour to get a booked table the other night. We arrived at 7 and ate at 10.

Then I got this from a well-heeled Clifton friend who mixes in very glamorous circles:

Just been wondering what you think of the service / booking at the Grand on the beach? I had a very kak experience with them last weekend which left me feeling rather cross. Anyone else had complaints?

I wanted it to go away because the image was so appealing. But that’s all it was. I tried so hard to pretend it wasn’t happening – but the noises were too great. And then I stumbled upon this, the latest complaint (this last weekend) I found at LivingStylishlyWell :

The Grand Restaurant – a blight on the Camps Bay landscape

Read the entire article here.

I’ll give you the closing paragraphs for now:

Thoroughly exasperated at this stage we went downstairs to the lower level to pay and saw Theo again. We asked if the very least he could do was not to either say ’sorry, give us a coffee or horror of horrors ‘comp’ us the meal’.

Theo’s answer? ‘I think you should leave, this has never happened before.’

We left. Never, ever to return again.

Compare this to a great breakfast at the Sandbar, superb service and vibe at Caprice and amazing value and vibe at Bayside Cafe (all on the strip, all competing with one another). In the next issue of Cape Odyssey, I’ll be talking again about two restaurants which have raised the bar in 2010 – Marianas and Heaven.

The Grand? I hear the rustling of feathers as post-World Cup chicken, prepare to come home to roost.

They will deserve it.

Dear friends and readers – avoid. 7Eleven sandwiches will leave you feeling much happier with life.

[more here]

(And here’s yet another article on another blog called Jamie Who.)

It’s too loud now. The noise. We can’t ignore it any longer. I’m afraid the “teething problems” time period has lapsed. This is now, quite simply, a problem.

Have you tried out the new Grand? Have you had service issues at either Grand?

Do let us know – and hopefully the owners will have the good sense to address it. Make no mistake, we want it to work. If, however, you have had only pleasant times, go ahead and let us know.

Is this REALLY news?

I would be celebrating and popping the champagne, if the news came as a surprise. But it doesn’t. I mean, is it wrong to expect these kind of accolades from 2oceansvibe brands and sponsors? Are we not perhaps numbed by the success of the associated brands and advertisers and people on 2oceansvibe? Brands and products and people that fall within the 2oceansvibe culture and mindset of good service combined with coolness and an understanding of what is fair and right, with no red tape to be seen? Is that really so amazing? Please, give me a break – that shit comes standard around these parts.

Check it out, this from my primary residence, the Cape Royale hotel:

The Cape Royale Luxury Hotel and Residence, Green Point, Cape Town, South Africa, is proud to announce that it has been selected as the Overall Winner of the TripAdvisor Travelers’ Choice award for Best Luxury Hotel in Africa.

The award winners are selected based on the millions of reviews and opinions from travelers on tripadvisor.com. Cape Royale Luxury Hotel has been awarded the Best Luxury Hotel in Africa, in the eighth annual TripAdvisor Travelers Choice Awards. 95% of the travelers who reviewed Cape Royale recommended staying at the hotel. TripAdvisor attracts more than 36 million visitors every month.
The Cape Royale is thrilled with the achievement, having only opened in 2008. Boasting 95 luxury suites right in the heart of Green Point.

The Cape Royale Luxury Hotel and Residence is also the recent Overall Winner of the Luxury Hotel Award, in the ‘All Suite’ category at the World Luxury Hotel Awards 2009, which were held at the world renowned Lebua at State Tower Hotel in Bangkok, Thailand on the 27 November 2009. Award winners set the benchmark for luxury establishments in achieving recognition for their world class facilities and service excellence.

Commenting on the Award the Managing Director of Cape Royale Luxury Hotel and Residence, Mr. Nathan Schmidt said, “This is not just an outstanding achievement for our entire team after just two years in business, but confirmation that world class hotel accommodation is available in Cape Town in the run up to the World Cup. Coming on top of our recent selection by distinguished Preferred Hotels as their first Super Luxury hotel in South Africa, this has been a memorable few weeks for all our staff”.

Nice.

Those of you who have stayed in the Cape Royale hotel, in my suite or any other, will agree there is something about the Cape Royale that the others just don’t “get.” That’s probably why more and more people are having their meetings at The Cape Royale – let alone staying at the place.

I’ll tell you something else pretty unique about The Cape Royale. They’ve got a concierge service that will blow your mind. Headed up by Ryan Van Zyl – he happens to be one of only three genuine concierges in South Africa! Ie. the Cape Royale hotel has one of only three genuine concierges in South Africa (there are only 3,000 in the world).

Hotel concierge staff have their own professional association, called Les Clefs d’Or (”The Golden Keys”). It was formed in France in October 1929 and you will see those very keys on Ryan’s jacket lapels.

Ryan is obsessed with being the best concierge and he completely and utterly nails it – and then some. There is simply no task too complex or difficult – and that, my friends, is what I’m looking for. It’s what you’re looking for and it’s the reason why you are here at 2oceansvibe and the reason why we hang out at the Cape Royale and Caprice and HQ and Caveau and Miss K – because it’s safe – we know what we’re getting and we just want to carry on being ourselves and not worry about whether or not the place we’re at is going to get it right.

I do it all for you, I hope you know that…