We’re pretty blown away by the response to the “Seth Song” we’ve been playing fairly regularly, over at 2oceansvibe Radio. It’s not only a damn funny tune, but I tell you what – it’s got the heads bopping too! Apparently The Assembly lost their minds to it last Saturday!

The guys behind the tune are none other than I Scream And The Chocolate Stix – the same guys who gave you the sensational online viral tune My Cape Town.

People LOVE that tune – including the likes of Helen Zille, I might add!

So anyway, we’ve had a number of requests for the lyrics of the Seth Song. And here theyt are – along with an online recording of the tune.

Press the orange play button below.

Enjoy!

For those of you new to the concept – let me first fill you in on the Dreamy Burger. This following excerpt was taken from last year’s burger special announcement:

I remember when my all time favourite Caprice waitress, Justine, first described the Dreamy Burger to me. It was something to do with a slab of cheese on top of the meat, and then she began to describe how the hot mushroom sauce is then poured over that slab of cheese, melting it in the process. As she described this final stage of the preparation she actually lost her breath for a second, her eyes rolled back and her mouth opened and hung agape for a few moments. I swear to God – it was like something out of When Harry Met Sally .“Jesus,” I said, “get me one of those!”

So ja, that chick in the pic is not Justine, but she just wants to show you how mnandi that burger is. And she’s not even eating the Dreamy Burger – she’s eating another one and she is still close to having a double orgasm.

Oh my God – you said “orgasm!”

Go get your very own – in fact get 2 for the price of 1 – Mondays to Thursdays between the hours 12:30 – 22:00.

That said, if you have a burger for breakfast, you won’t get 2 for 1.

Which is fair enough.

They have an egg special, actually.

Not really – they don’t.

Let’s just stick to burger chat for now – ok?

Rafa Takes Wimbledon

Nadal Wins Wimbledon – Well the poms will be horrified that Andy Murray didn’t win. They had better start putting pressure on him for next year’s Wimbledon ASAP! God forbid they don’t jinx him like they do every one of their sportsmen (I know – he’s Scottish – the irony etc.). The only team that does manage to get anything right are the cricketers – and half the bloody side is South African. [time]

Paris Hilton’s Buddy Given 14 Days To Leave South Africa – The South African government has given a former Playboy playmate and friend of US socialite Paris Hilton 14 days to leave the country, Home Affairs said on Saturday. This comes after Jennifer Rovero was caught in possession of marijuana at a World Cup game in Port Elizabeth on Friday. [mail&guardian]

Elin Woods Is Getting $100Million – It seems that prior claims of a $750Million divorce payout from Tiger Woods are slightly incorrect. Nonetheless, the more accurate figure of $100Million is not to be sneezed at. But once she has that cash, she cannot say a word. No Oprah, no book deal. Nothing. Shame.. [tmz]

Uruguay Striker, Luis Suárez, Claims “Hand Of God” – The Uruguay striker Luis Suárez has evoked Diego Maradona’s infamous goal against England in 1986, declaring “the Hand Of God now belongs to me” after he broke Ghana’s hearts and helped his side reach the World Cup semi-finals. [guardian]

Cristiano Ronaldo Is A Father – Real Madrid and Portugal winger, Cristiano Ronaldo has become the father of a baby boy, according to an announcement on his Twitter account. The 25-year-old, whose World Cup campaign came to and end this week when Portugal were knocked out by Spain, posted the announcement on both his Twitter and Facebook pages. [telegraph]

The Mel Gibson Tapes – It’s only a matter of days before we get to hear the tape that Mel’s ex is holding, which includes the quotes, “You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault” and “‘I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will blow me first.” And yes, there’s more.. [dailymail]

World Cup Trophy Made Of Cocaine – A replica World Cup trophy seized by anti-drugs police in Colombia is made out of cocaine, lab tests have confirmed. The 36cm (14in) statue was found in a delivery crate at Bogota airport. The crate was in an airmail warehouse waiting to be sent to an address in Spain. Very cunning, guys.. [bbc]

Two-Headed Calf Born In Egypt – An Egyptian farmer this week said one of his cows gave birth to a two-headed calf, after two hours of strenuous labor. The farmer, Sobhy el-Ganzoury, called it a “divine miracle.” The animal is expected to survive.El-Ganzoury is feeding milk to the calf with a baby bottle, and he told the AP that the animal is a reminder that “God is able to do anything.” [gawker]

Lady Gaga Hits 10 Million Friends On Facebook – Lady Gaga, the 24-year-old whose real name is Stefani Germanotta, became the first living person to have more than 10 million fans. By Sunday Lady Gaga had accumulated 10,333,791 fans, beating out strong contenders like President Obama, who had only 9,670,042 million. [nytimes]

Huffington Post Journalist Praises SA And “Ubuntu” – “I have been truly humbled on this trip. And while I have my gripes regarding development here, I cannot say one negative thing about how South Africa has handled its duties as host and hostess to the world. If I could say one thing to sum up being here during this once-in-a-lifetime experience, it would be that I’ve learned the value of Ubuntu.” [huffpo]

“The Chief” Needs Your Vote – True 2oceansvibers out there who are familiar with the 2oceansvibe Characters list, will know about “The Chief.” His real name is Simon and he is a close friend of mine who takes care of a number of villages in the Eastern Cape. His organisation “Village Corps” has made the shortlist of a NAU “Grant For Change” competition. Your vote can help send a much needed $10,000 grant in their direction. Come on, gang – it’s one click. [clickvotewhenyougetthere]

Joey Chestnut Wins Fourth Hot Dog Eating Title – Joey “Jaws” Chestnut won his fourth consecutive title at today’s 95th annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island, eating 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes. His arch-rival, and six-time champ, Takeru Kobayashi was arrested after the competition. Chestnut earns $150,000 a year from eating contests. [gawker]

Caprice Launches New Website – The original & most famous ‘Eat, Drink and Play’ venue in Cape Town, Café Caprice offers the ultimate hangout for a cool set looking to dine on delicious food, sip on sundowners and watch all top sporting events on one of our big screens, in one of the world’s most beautiful settings. [cafecaprice]

DJ Sasha in SA – Smirnoff, is at it again, bringing DJ Sasha to @tmospheer in Cape Town on Friday and will head north to Truth in Johannesburg on Saturday. For those who are still slightly nostalgic after Tiesto and Mashup Street, tickets can be bought through Computicket. Not for Sale to Persons Under the Age of 18. Drink Responsibly. Link for more information. [smirnoffexperience]

[thanks sean]
[photo source]

Aah yes, finally! The de facto home of Cape Town’s cool, Café Caprice is loved by a band of loyal fans from locals to international stars and sportsmen, and its unique events and initiatives never fail to impress, with the Soccer Babes Calendar shoot being no exception.

1 X angel

After gathering up some of the country’s finest female specimens to represent the various soccer super teams visiting our country, a model shoot was staged at Café Caprice, choreographed by Brandnew Marketing in order to create a sexy 2010/11 desktop calendar.

The shoot was held in the upstairs section of the venue, in conjunction with a party throughout the rest of the café, which drew a crowd of epic proportion.

I popped in and noticed one of the angels was misbehaving. She agreed that a hiding was in order.

I know it looks like I’m overdoing it, but she was being naughty. Not that she seemed to mind..

Cafe Caprice desktop calendar which will be available for download from www.cafecaprice.co.za from 1 July, with a limited number printed for VIP’s.

x

I grabbed a burger at Hudson’s last night and ran into the owner, Dave. He informed me that the place above Hudsons, The Saasveld Lodge, still had availability for the World Cup. So if you’ve got mates coming to town who aren’t able to make use of the ridiculous deals being offered at my primary residence, the 5-star Cape Royale Hotel (directly over the road from the stadium), then maybe this would be a good option?

They’ve got rooms for as low as R800 a night during the world cup, slap-bang in the middle of one of Cape Town’s most exclusive and fashionable areas – Kloof Street!

The Saasveld Lodge
Budget World Cup accommodation
in the heart of Kloof Street

You’ve got Hudson’s downstairs, you’ve got Woolworths and Wellness Warehouse over the road, and a Nando’s and vida e just 30 meters down the drag!

Shame, you poor thing!

Follow link for more pictures and information.

Read the rest of this entry »

Kelly Brook was in Cape town recently for a FHM World Cup shoot. Dressed in nothing but a bikini, these still shots and video give us an idea of what to expect when she does her upcoming Playboy spread, which will earn her $500,000.

Not a bad pay day..

Kelly Brook enjoys lions

Check it out:

She’s already got a Lion of her own in the form of England rugby star Danny Cipriani, but Kelly Brook’s experience with the real thing is probably a little limited. However, she seemingly took to juggling three lions at once with relative ease in a photoshoot for men’s magazine FHM.

Miss Brook, 30, took part in the shoot ahead of the World Cup, which kicks off this weekend. She was keen to show her support for the England team – with the iconic Three Lions a nod to the team, who are currently in training for the tournament in South Africa.

Kelly is also set to pose for Playboy later this year, after signing a half-a-million dollar deal. Her agent Jonathan Shalit told the Mail Online that Kelly was delighted to have been chosen. He said: ‘She’s absolutely thrilled. It’s such a great honour for her, especially when you think about the icons that have graced the cover of the magazine over the years.’

[read more]

That’s just great – well done, Kelly! You get, what we in the industry refer to as a “double thumbs up!”

If you want to see the video of Kelly modeling on Camps Bay beach, just follow the link..

Read the rest of this entry »

You can only imagine the zone you can get into, listening to some vinyl, with a joint in one hand and your new iPad in the other – on the day that Google Maps goes live with “Google Street View” for Cape Town. My God, I have traipsed every square inch of this city, all from the comfort of The Safe House sofa!

First I popped in at Caprice to try out the 2oceansvibe cocktail:

Cafe Caprice on Google Maps “Street View”
Nice day they were having when they shot that!

Mmm, that was good!

Follow the link to see where else I went and also learn how to do this on your own computer or iPhone or iPad!

Read the rest of this entry »

Oh Lordi, Lordi – they’re taking it to the next level at Caprice this Thursday..

Check it out – they’re shooting a Caprice calendar (with these eight hot models representing various soccer teams, all wearing virtually eff-all) in the upstairs section of Cappers and AT THE SAME TIME they’ve got DJ duo “Crazy White Boy” absolutely murdering it on the decks, for this fully fledged Caprice party!

Here’s a sneak preview of two of the models they’ll be using for the calendar (click thumbnails to enlarge):

You know when you get to these parties and you wish you reserved a table? Well, why don’t you grow up and do just that? Book your table at info@cafecaprice.co.za

And if you just wanna go to the party, REALISE that it is invite only (you’re invited) and REALISE that you should RSVP to this invite to tammy@brandnewmarketing.co.za

That’s all you have to do – then your name will be on the door list.

It’s all very easy – you just have to remember to do it!

See you there!

GO!

Happy Birthday, Julius!
LET’S CELEBRATE!

Malema, at 29, claims eternal roots in poverty – Once poor, always poor, ANC Youth League president Julius Malema told several thousand people who gathered in Seshego outside Polokwane to celebrate his 29th birthday. Julius Malema was lauded as a comrade, a fighter, an anti-imperialist, protector of the aged and generally a guy with who you want to stay on good terms. Oh, and as the future president of the country. [dailymaverick]

SA’s Jordy Smith Cleans Kelly Slater – Ja, you see, that’s what I’m talking about. They said he was the next Kelly Slater, but that’s where they were wrong. Kelly Slater is the old Jordy Smith. Oooh, cheeky. Smith caused a major upset in Round 4 of the Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast yesterday, eliminating former nine-time ASP World Champion Kelly Slater (USA). This was first time they have been head to head and you are welcome to check out the video action here. [thebombsurf]

Man Shoots Two Officers Outside Pentagon – A man coolly and calmly approached the screening area outside the Pentagon Thursday evening and opened fire, grazing two Pentagon police officers before they returned fire, critically wounding him, officials said. As the officers started to ask him for his pass to get into the Pentagon, he drew a weapon from his pocket and started shooting immediately at the officers from a few feet away. Not ideal. [cnn]

Elin Is Moving Back With Toiger – On Wednesday, Elin and Tiger spent approximately three hours together at the house where they will once again live together. They were in the backyard, and at one point Tiger kissed Elin on the cheek three times and they hugged. Baby steps, I guess. Speaking of baby steps, can you imagine if a lovechild had to surface at this point? [radar]

Are the Glory Days Of Casual Sex Over? – The days of glorified casual sex are over…or are they? On the one hand, we haven’t seen Paris Hilton’s undies in years, raunchy Christina Aguilera married herself off and has been replaced by virginal Taylor Swift, and even “the fictional Carrie Bradshaw is wed and living a New York domestic fantasy,” writes Jessica Grose on Slate. As further proof of the backlash against casual sex, Grose points to quite a few recent memoirists dealing with “sex regret.” [newser]

Johnny Depp’s Partner Vanessa Forbids Angelina Jolie Film – Johnny Depp’s longtime gal pal, Vanessa Paradis, has no intention of joining the trail of brokenhearted Hollywood ladies left crying to Oprah Winfrey after Angelina Jolie stole their men. So when Vanessa Paradis found out her “Pirates of the Caribbean” stud and Jolie were to shoot a passionate love scene in their new movie “The Tourist,” she ordered Depp to find another gig. [nypost]

“Save My Baby!” (The Chicks Are Going To Eat This Story Up) – On January 30, two-month-old Maria Chan, of Brooklyn, was thrown from a third-story window by her parents in a bid to save her from an apartment fire. Barely two weeks later, the same surreal nightmare was repeated. There was seven-month-old Zaniyah Hewitt, of the Bronx, dangling out from a fifth-story window as smoke engulfed her. Unbelievably, both girls escaped alive, though only one of their mothers would survive… [dailybeast]

Jessica Simpson Feels ‘Betrayed’ by Mayer’s Sex Gossip – Oh God. Jessica Simpson is angry about John Mayer’s public boast that she’s “crazy” in bed. “I’m not angry,” Simpson, 29, said on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” today. “well, I’m a little bit angry …” When Winfrey asked why the pop singer was upset, Simpson replied, “Um … well, I don’t want people to know how I am in bed.” Umm, ja, the last thing you want people to hear is that you’re incredible in bed. It’s like that time everyone found out how large my penis is – that really was the end for me! [abc]

The Oscars Goodie Bag Is Off The Charts – You know those goodie bags that you get at “VIP” functions in Cape Town? I give most of it to Mavis and street children. That would not be the case if I was at the Oscars. Quietly enjoy a $45,000 safari, a $14,500 hotel stay in Monaco, personal training sessions, a Tiffany cat collar and more! Now that’s what I’m talking about. And I’ll tell you something else, that cat collar isn’t going on a cat… [fashionista]

Ancient Egyptian Queen Behenu’s Burial Chamber Unearthed – French archaeologists announced Wednesday the discovery outside Cairo of the burial chamber of a mysterious queen from Egypt’s Old Kingdom more than 4,000 years ago. The necropolis of Saqqara outside Cairo has yielded a string of new discoveries as 10 different teams excavate a previously untouched area of these burial grounds were used continuously for more than 2,000 years until Roman times. Sick! [huffers]

Café Caprice and Jameson Host Red Carpet Retro Party This Sunday- It’s kind of like an Oscar party, you could say. So dust off your Hollywood Glam, prepare your acceptance speech, make sure you know your good side and get down to Cafe Caprice to celebrate being nominated as one of the chosen few! Sunday night, 6pm. Dress: Hollywood Glam. [cafecaprice]

Cosmo Sex Survey Coming Along Beautifully – Cosmopolitan.co.za launched its second sex survey for its growing online audience and this year the survey delves a little deeper into the sexual habits of the Cosmo reader. Even more creative than last year, this year’s survey asks readers whether the current political climate in the country affects their sex lives and whether they filmed their bedroom escapades. Just wait till you see the Jacob Zuma question towards the end! [cosmosexsurvey]

Barbie By Christian Louboutin – Barbie continues to take the fashion world by storm and thanks to haute accessories designer Christian Louboutin, she’s just received a second head-to-toe Parisian makeover. Dressed in a khaki, safari- inspired dress and over the knee, hot pink fringed boots, Barbie is ready to Spring into style this season. Barbie revealed her first outfit in the Christian Louboutin collection last November, the Cat Burglar. [luxuo]

Georgia Parents Trade Sex With Daughter For Used-Car Payments – From the America Has Devolved Even Further And Now We Want To Go Live In A Cave Department: The two parents in the case, both 36 years old, had a history of drug use and abuse. They bought the car, a 1998 Dodge minivan, in March of 2008, proceeded to not make a single payment, and then forced their daughter (14) to have sex with their dealership’s 66-year-old manager. [jalopnik]

Lindsay Lohan Takes It Off For Purple – Terry Richardson did the shoot for the new issue of Purple magazine. Just to remind you, her last major shoot featured Lindsay Lohan topless in Muse magazine, and Terry Richardson is the guy that shot Miranda Kerr topless in the Pirelli Calendar. That’s probably why the result has quite a bit of bra and bum action. [egotastic]

[thanks jase, styli]

The Grand Café hit the scene a few years ago, after the building it occupies sold for a record sum. The Camps Bay strip welcomed them in place of the abortion that was Opium – giving us an upmarket dining alternative (if you must consider any of the other “upmarket/fine dining” alternatives in Camps Bay). It was well received and reflected the theme and style that made The Grand Hotel in Plettenberg Bay such a success.

The Grand

Good reviews and a smattering of issues to do with service, did the rounds in Cape Town, allowing The Grand to take their recipe for success one step further, with the launch of The Grande Café & Beach, A Nikki Beach / Blue Marlin style concept on the rocks in Granger Bay.

Whilst there certainly is a want for such an establishment, one wonders if this may have been a bit premature? And when I say premature, I am referring to the service complaints that were not fully addressed (fixed) at The Grand in Camps Bay. The result seems to be a brand spreading itself a bit thin over two Cape Town locations, resulting in a spiraling backlash from Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard and beyond.

The emails I have received over the couple months from 2oceansvibe readers about the service at The Grand (both Camps Bay and Granger Bay) and the nightmares when it came to booking and getting a table were gaining momentum, as I found myself waiting over an hour to get a booked table the other night. We arrived at 7 and ate at 10.

Then I got this from a well-heeled Clifton friend who mixes in very glamorous circles:

Just been wondering what you think of the service / booking at the Grand on the beach? I had a very kak experience with them last weekend which left me feeling rather cross. Anyone else had complaints?

I wanted it to go away because the image was so appealing. But that’s all it was. I tried so hard to pretend it wasn’t happening – but the noises were too great. And then I stumbled upon this, the latest complaint (this last weekend) I found at LivingStylishlyWell :

The Grand Restaurant – a blight on the Camps Bay landscape

Read the entire article here.

I’ll give you the closing paragraphs for now:

Thoroughly exasperated at this stage we went downstairs to the lower level to pay and saw Theo again. We asked if the very least he could do was not to either say ’sorry, give us a coffee or horror of horrors ‘comp’ us the meal’.

Theo’s answer? ‘I think you should leave, this has never happened before.’

We left. Never, ever to return again.

Compare this to a great breakfast at the Sandbar, superb service and vibe at Caprice and amazing value and vibe at Bayside Cafe (all on the strip, all competing with one another). In the next issue of Cape Odyssey, I’ll be talking again about two restaurants which have raised the bar in 2010 – Marianas and Heaven.

The Grand? I hear the rustling of feathers as post-World Cup chicken, prepare to come home to roost.

They will deserve it.

Dear friends and readers – avoid. 7Eleven sandwiches will leave you feeling much happier with life.

[more here]

(And here’s yet another article on another blog called Jamie Who.)

It’s too loud now. The noise. We can’t ignore it any longer. I’m afraid the “teething problems” time period has lapsed. This is now, quite simply, a problem.

Have you tried out the new Grand? Have you had service issues at either Grand?

Do let us know – and hopefully the owners will have the good sense to address it. Make no mistake, we want it to work. If, however, you have had only pleasant times, go ahead and let us know.

Today was perhaps a prime example of how one can feel “the vibe.”

The first step is obviously to recognise it – to realise that “the vibe” may be on. This usually comes in the form of a visual clue. There is normally a lot of blue in these clues to which I refer.

For example, I first realised the vibe was on today, as I drove down to Vida e in Camps Bay this morning to grab a coffee.

I glanced to my left and noticed this:

Camps Bay’s exclusive “Bali Bay” neighbourhood

You get the idea?

I know, sometimes you don’t know what is going on, until later – when you realise that a killer day was staring you right in the face.

So there it was, the visual clue I was looking for. “Hello,” I thought to myself, “it looks very much to me like the “vibe” is on!

Right there, I was beginning to “feel the vibe,” as it were.

We had a wonderful prawn couple in Vida e this morning. Clip-clop-clip-clop walking all funny on their awkward little shoes, with their spandex all over, balls hanging out, helmets on indoors. A wonderful scene it was.

When good prawns go bad

Then I popped in at my buddy’s place he is building in Camps Bay. It’s nearly finished and is right at the front of Camps Bay. It’s a development – you can find out more about it here at pod.co.za. It’s got a number of rooms or “pods” as he calls them. Check out that website, it’s fucking awesome.

This is the view in the main suite at the top:

Fine..

Shame, ja, it’s going to be very kak when it’s finished.

So anyway, on to lunch it was, at Caprice with The Dude, as we discussed what the next step would be. That’s when we remembered, what we refer to as, “the watch game.” It’s when you turn the outside dial of your watch and set the zero to where the minute hand is, and you lie on the beach until it goes the whole way around. Just to see how long it takes. Some people call it “an hour,” but we call it “the watch game.”

“The Dude” ponders his next move

For the uninitiated, that’s Caprice with the red roof above the sand.

That’s the Atlantic Ocean, right there.

And that was that, really. We swam twice and lay right there and watched the minute hand of my watch go around full circle. Which it did. It went quite quickly – faster than normal it seemed.

But is was more than enough. I knew I should get back to the Safe House and let you know about all of this. You know, just in case you’re at your desk or in London. I want you to understand how important it is for you to make work a sideline and for you to live the holiday.

So here I am, back at Le Safe House.

Boom!

Are you feeling the vibe today?

Everyone is raving about these “Authentic Sessions” at Cafe Caprice, featuring local musicians and DJ’s in the DJ box, spinning tunes that they feel have been an influence on their music and their vibe in general.

340ml are playing tonight – apparently it’s gonna be “off the chain.”

Zebra & Giraffe on Friday (don’t tell The Muse, she’ll pee herself), DJ Fresh on Saturday and loads more.

Oh, and Ard Matthews from Just Jinjer is on the 22nd! Hating that! Maybe David Raad can plug in a mic and sing along?

Click flyer to enlarge the vibe.

Check:

CAFÉ CAPRICE LINES UP 10 OF THE BEST SA ARTISTS TO EASE YOU INTO THE NEW YEAR WHEN THE HAVANA CLUB AUTHENTIC SESSIONS KICKS OFF ON THURSDAY 7 JANUARY 2010.

Since opening its doors in 2001 Café Caprice in Camps Bay has become an institution in Cape Town. The sea side café has become known not only for its sensational sunsets and beach glam crowd that descend upon the venue daily, but also for bringing some of the finest local and international DJs and music producers to Camps Bay.

The impressive list of international artists is spearheaded by the legendary Richard Dorfmeister of Kruder & Dorfmeister and more recently Tosca fame. Dorfmeister, who has performed at Café Caprice in 2008 and 2009 also took on the creation of Café Caprice’s second compilation which was released in March 2009 to high acclaim. Other international artists that have appeared include downbeat supremo’s Mo’Horizons and the dons of Deep House, Harley & Muscle who have made the trip from Milan to Camps Bay on more than one occasion.

This year Café Caprice introduces a new musical concept that is set to become an annual event that is not to be missed. The Havana Club Authentic Sessions will see 10 of South Africa’s finest bands and DJs take to the decks to play a set of music that has inspired them through their careers and offers listeners an insight into their musical roots.
“It’s a collection of artists putting together a compilation of music that quite simply would not be heard anywhere else”, says David Greenberg, co-owner of Café Caprice. “

The line-up includes artists that hail from diverse genres that include rock, electronic music and dub. All sets in the schedule will be played at Café Caprice from 7pm to 9pm, the full schedule is included below:

Thursday 7 January 2010: Arno Carstens
Friday 8 January 2010: Flash Republic
Saturday 9 January 2010: The Dirty Skirts

Thursday 14 January 2010: 340ml
Friday 15 January 2010: Zebra & Giraffe
Saturday 16 January 2010: DJ Fresh

Wednesday 20 January 2010: Craig de Sousa
Thursday 21 January 2010: Roger Goode
Friday 15 January 2010: Art Matthews (Just Jinger)
Saturday 16 January 2010: Jon Savage (Cassette)

Entry to Café Caprice for each of the DJ sets listed above is free of charge but table bookings are recommended by calling the venue on (021) 438 8315.

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

I’m gonna try do as many as possible, but the chances of NOT going on the 22nd are pretty slim…

Well done, Cappers – great vibe!

With the signature 2oceansvibe slogan telling us, “Work is a sideline, Live the holiday,” there were two very obvious things that needed to be addessed. First was the launch of 2oceansvibe Jobs – a website which showcases all temporary, freelance and part-time jobs available in Cape Town and beyond. No permanent 9-5 jobs will be advertised on the site, because “Work is a sideline” remember?

And the second is this, the launch of 2oceansvibe Villas – Cape Town’s finest selection of holiday accommodation and villa and apartment rentals throughout the year. This, naturally, allows the second part of the slogan to come true – “Live the holiday!”

With over 200 listings online, whether you’re looking for something small to be used as a base, or something grand and extravagant to share with family and friends, we have it all.

CLICK HERE for 2oceansvibe Villas

2oceansvibe takes pride as one of Cape Town’s most well-loved and trusted brands – a brand which has been built over the the last eight years. A brand synonymous with Cape Town and a brand which represents the good life, good times and above all, trust and integrity.

2oceansvibe Villas is the premier vacation rental provider on Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard. All of our properties are exclusively managed and controlled, and we handle every aspect of our guest’s stay, from the first email through to the final check-out. Your personal hospitality consultant will take care of your reservation, and will be on hand to personally welcome you to your property in Cape Town, and will be at your service for the duration of your stay, to help ensure that you get the most out of your Cape Town vacation.

Because that’s how you roll..

For those of you who have followed Seth and 2oceansvibe.com over the last eight years, you will not need to be convinced of the extreme levels of service and standards that would need to be reached before allowing a particular villa to be presented to you and rental agent to engage with you.

I’ll tell you something else. Because we only do things when they can be done properly, you should know that the backend system behind the 2oceansvibe Villas website is one of the most sophisticated in the world. The system even allows for real-time availability checks (previously unheard of!) and pin-point locators on Google Maps and Google Earth!

Book your stay in Cape Town with 2oceansvibe Villas, and experience a private, relaxing and pampered holiday in South Africa. The kind of holiday that Seth Rotherham would expect.

Our team can’t wait to welcome you to your dream holiday.

See you at Caprice!

In the meantime, check out www.2oceansvibevillas.com and get lost in the selection of awesome Cape Town Holiday villas!

*Please note that 2oceansvibe Villas is run as a completely separate division to the original 2oceansvibe.com. Any contact that needs to be made with regards to accommodation rentals in Cape Town and anything to do with 2oceansvibe Villas, should be made via the contact information on the 2oceansvibe Villas website www.2oceansvibevillas.com.

In November I alerted you about the Seth Rotherham feature in the ELLE Magazine. I didn’t publish it in full on these pages, as the magazine was still in circulation. It is now off the shelves and has coincidentally become one of their most successful issues ever. Weird.. especially with that issue of YOU Magazine breaking similar records *cough* lest we forget the highest number of viewers ever that the Top Billing TV feature received.

But let’s not go on about “boosting” numbers and “breaking records” – I just thought that I would show you the ELLE interview, now that the magazine is sold out.

BANG!

Click image to enlarge..

CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE TO READING SIZE
FEEL IT INSIDE YOU

Good times. Did you know about my “C-TAP” nickname?

It’s funny.. I regularly get into what pot-smokers describe as a “zone” during interviews and, when published, I often don’t remember what I said at the time.

My favourite answer would have to be the one about the dolphins. That really made me chuckle.

And howz that pic of me and my labrador? Her name was Katie.

KAAATIE, KATIE, KATIE, KATIE, KATIEEEEEEE!

FOOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIEEEES!!!!

Oh my good LORD we are running hellishly late with this week’s issue of Tuesday Tabs! Our pre-17h00 rule seems to have gone out the window! You simply must indulge me, as I have had a torrid day running from Caprice to the Cape Royale Sky Bar pool in this 32 degree heat!

Speaking of which, The Big H has just returned to London and remarked (electronically) at the current weather situation in the capital. My goodness – I was not aware. It would be best to place them (Cape Town and London’s weather reports) side-by-side, to fully understand the contrast our boy is experiencing.

Sorry, did you say MINUS 4?

Not to distract us from this week’s Tuesday Tabs – simply food for thought. Or rather another opportunity for us to pat ourselves (again) on the backs for landing with our arses squarely in the butter here in Cape Town.

Speaking of butter, Luba Shumeyko has featured before on 2oceansvibe’s esteemed Tuesday Tabs list. Quite early on, I might add – Tuesday Tabs Number 7!

That was more than three years ago and came shortly after The Chief and I escaped Cape Town for a weekend of booze, weed and books in Misty Cliffs. That was followed by the realisation that famous naked photographer Petter Hegre’s WIFE, Luba, and her twin sister Nadya, had been filmed by Peter Hegre in that very house! It’s a famous 2oceansvibe story which some of the old faithful remind me of from time to time.

That rich 2oceansvibe heritage, combined with the fact that her sister Nadya now LIVES in Cape Town, has left me with no choice but to feature Luba as the first Tuesday Tabs angel of 2010.

I’m sorry, but I you have left me with no option..

Click image for higher res, slightly NSFW, version

Thanks Randall, I’ll take it from here..

I wouldn’t say her husband is “out of line” for claiming that Luba has the most perfect body in the world. Seriously, he does. All the time.

It may well be up for discussion, but I certainly wouldn’t go out of my way to call him a “liar.”

She’s in the runnings, I’ll tell you that much..

And by a “joke” I mean it’s “off the charts.” So much so that it’s silly.

I tell you what, between Apple products and these guys, life couldn’t be easier.

David, the owner of Caprice gave me no option but to attend a party at Caprice on Saturday night last week. And off I went. Or rather, the crew and I were fetched in one of those ridiculously over-the-top limos with neon lights inside and lazers and DVD screens. In a word?…ludicrous.

Very kak sunset that night..

Keep on rolling baby, you know what time it is..

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t fun. Make no mistake, it’s in another league to the ones they use for matriek balls – with dried body fluids knotting the deep pile carpets. No, no – this one was good clean fun! So we got out of the thing at Caprice and there were camera’s and microphones and all sorts of shit. I think there was also a red carpet. What exactly was going on, I don’t know. Something to do with Jamesons. Either way, we got a stunning table in the 20’s (know your Caprice table numbers, people) and the booze arrived.

The booze was consumed and more came. I stretched out my arm to show Hanneli a photograph on my iPhone and….whoops, the motherfucker fell into an ice bucket. An ice bucket with melted ice in it..

i.e. water. (sometimes you have to spell it out)

Photo taken just before the incident
We were marveling at that angel’s short jean pant.
We approved..

Now you know when there is an emergency and someone is about to die and everyone in the room freezes? Ja, it was like that. I whipped it out and started shaking it.

WATER was coming out of it.

“MY CHIIIIILD!!!!” I screamed, looking up to the heavens, arms outstretched.

“Oh, Jesus, God noooooo,” I pleaded, as The Muse rubbed my back, explaining to those around that whathadjusthappened was very much equal to the loss of a loved one. To me.

I drank the pain away and the next day I called Digicape, who told me what I knew already – about the guys that operate in secret, somewhere near to Mabu Vinyl . They have to be near to Mabu Vinyl, because Mabu Vinyl is where you deliver the thing AND where you pick it up – virtually ALWAYS fixed. I remember using them once before for an iPod which had a dead battery.

No-one SEES these people that fix the things. All you get is an invoice at the end from “iFix iPod Repairs.” Their logo is an oldschool iPod (chunky) with “iFix” on the screen.

I lOVE that vibe. They’re holed up inside some kind of Safe House nearby, where all they do is fix iPods and iPonies and anything that starts with an “i.” There are rumours that they use a team of abused Cambodian children who have no other option but to fix iPods. Apparently they live on memory chips, so it all kind of works out fine. But no-one has photographic evidence, so it can’t be true.

Either way, it’s very cool.

So anyway, let’s get back to the story. Let’s look at this in order of events..

I dropped the iPhone into the ice bucket on Saturday night.

On Sunday the screen was blank and it had dried a bit. I plugged it into my very sexual Macbook Pro, looking for a miracle and SOMEHOW the Macbook managed to talk to the iPhone and it synchronised…

I don’t know exactly what it did, but I took the iPhone to these guys on Monday.

I hacked my way through the week with your classic “piece of shit” phone and then, on Thursday, I got an email telling me it was FIXED. It had to be completely wiped as well but, you know, collateral damage is a reality.

Very naughty.

I picked it up on my way to the Invictus premiere which I attended with The Adventurer (Ryan Scott) who stars in the movie as ex-Springbok Brendon Venter. Whatever, you know – standard stuff. Big Tommy Boyd was there. What a beautiful man.

I left home with my laptop and, on my way to the movie premiere, the phone and the laptop made love.

They had a little baby and the baby was IDENTICAL to the one I thought I had lost. EVERYTHING was there. The contacts, the calendar, the photos, the music. Absolutely everything. Even the front screen wallpaper was there.

And here’s proof that everything is back to normal. Taken tonight. Morgan Freeman, throwing a very cool vibe at the premiere..

Morgs – going for it.

And that was that!

Oh, the movie?

Very good. Watch it. Trust me. I got quite into and even, dare I say, emotional.

And for anything to do with fixing you iPod, check out their website www.ifixipods.co.za for contact details etc.

It’s not so much the “wow” factor of a paraglider landing on Camps Bay Beach opposite Caprice, as much as it is an excuse to remove yourself from whatever you’re doing and to submerge yourself into the ridiculous day we’re having today.

A quick video wouldn’t hurt.

Check it out:

Some of you would have already caught that on 2oceansvibe’s Twitter feed.

I filmed that with my iPhone 3Gs (courtesy of DigiCape) and uploaded it to Flickr and “tweeted” about it ALL whilst on the beach.

This is where I sat, as The Surfer mozeez out of the water..

Look, I’ll admit, it was pleasant..

CLICK HERE to see all the other pics taken today on the 2oceansvibe FLICKR feed, including criminal photographs of Clifton this morning, as well as Caprice for lunch etc.

Not to mention a photo of the new range of NoMU Foods stock that is blowing people away. I got that after having dinner at the owner of NoMU’s place last night. I don’t want to tell you what the food was like because your laptop might explode (paella..), but it makes sense that NoMU is South Africa’s most loved spices and rubs and grinders and hot chocolate and God knows what else! Thanks, guys -

Seriously, just grow up.

CLICK HERE for pics of today..

Well look at this naughty cute little angel!

Caprice regulars will know Tanique and how well she smiles and how expertly she carries cocktails around. But now she’s going for a whole new vibe, as she has made the cut for the 2010 FHM Top 100.

Those of you who don’t know her needn’t worry – because this is all you need to know for now.

BOOM! That’s what 20 looks like, my boet!
CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR TANIQUE!  

Sorry, you were saying?

Look, instead of standing there with your jaw on the floor, why don’t you make yourself useful and get a toothpick for Tanique – she’s clearly got something stuck in her toef.

Good heavens!

Do the right thing, gang, and give the vibe 20 seconds of your time.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR TANIQUE!

Do it for 2oceansvibe.

Do it for Caprice.

[thanks antoinette]

It’s with great ease that they do, because Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut (lest we forget the Le Grand Pavillon Brut Rosé) has very recently become the sparkling wine of choice for 2oceansvibe. Hardened 2oceansvibers out there will know what it takes to get the nod as a 2oceansvibe brand and, make no mistake, this premium Franschhoek outfit has paid their dues.

It’s won’t be long until you’ll find it at all your favourite 2oceansvibe hangouts, including Caprice, Miss K, 1800 Restaurant, Cape Royale Hotel, HQ Restaurant and Caveau.

Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut
Now being served at The Safe House

Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut – the 2oceansvibe Sparkling Wine of choice.

The Methode Cap Classique of choice, I might add!

I’ll be honest, The Muse and I klapped a bottle each on Sunday and I must say it goes VERY well with the Atlantic Seaboard. In fact, it goes very well with the entire weekend. It went well with the post-Clifton-tanning-session Sunday Times hour , as well as the vinyl player interlude, featuring Barry and Barbs.. Yes, it seems to adapt very well.

But you would have known that anyway, if you were following the 2oceansvibe Twitter feed, as well as the 2oceansvibe Flickr feed..

For the more serious bubbly drinkers out there, you can CLICK HERE to download the Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut cheat sheet (PDF) which will answer all those questions you might be asking. Questions that I cannot answer. All I know is it tastes great and everyone I drink it with thinks the same!

Then, when you’re done there, take a stroll down to their website and see what it takes to become the official 2oceansvibe bubbly – www.boschendalwines.com

It seems the prawns are moving further and further away from District 9, as my Saturday morning was punctuated with prawn activity. I was leaving Pick ‘n Pay in Camps Bay and had to slam on the brakes as a large group of them on bicycles came speeding through a red traffic light. I noticed a man walking out of the Pick ‘n Pay with his son – the little boy pointing at the prawns. The prawns didn’t care as they exercised their usual COMPLETE disregard for the laws we, as humans, have created in order to maintain a functioning society.

Prawns – blatant disregard for human law
As they force co-existence upon us

I have one question : Will this lawlessness only be addressed when children start being knocked over, as they attempt to re-enact what they’ve seen the prawns doing on the roads?

This “fuck you” attitude displayed by some of the prawns (and I stress “some” of them, who ruin it for the rest) continued at Caprice where prawns were spotted climbing all over the furniture with their damaging “clip-shoe” footwear.

The “fuck you” attitude displayed by prawns
in human society continues.

I’m not sure how things work in District 9, but here in the human areas and among our own, we have a very clear understanding about manners and general etiquette. At a very basic level, we obey traffic signals, and we don’t stand on furniture. You need to adhere to these basics – if you wish to coexist. Especially when it comes to bicycles.

A bicycle is the first mode of transport for most human children. They cannot wait to get their first bicycle and probably can’t wait to have the ability to go through red traffic lights, like they see the “adults” (prawns) doing on the road.

Why do you let them do it? Why do you just sit in your car and shake your head? Why don’t you hoot at them? Why don’t you wind down your window and ask them to please stop?

I guess we’ll just have to wait for a child to get hurt before this is addressed.

What are your thoughts?

“Kings of Neon?!” – come on, man – that’s quality!

I’m speechless. Just look at this flyer – it says it all.

(You guys look hysterical!)

God help us all!

I must say that looks like it’s going to be crazy fun. I strongly suggest that everybody goes. Maybe HQ beforehand for Friday drinks – then Cappers for the Kings of Neon?

Hating that!

See you there!

Café Caprice is mixing it up on Friday nights by offering you any tapas of your choice for HALF PRICE! That’s a good special – the kind of thing you’d find at www.nobucks.co.za

I can recall the Caprice menu from memory pretty much verbatim and would like to tell you my usual tapas choices. Very basically – it’s the prawns, it’s the meat balls, it’s the hummus with pita (ask them for a couple extra slices) and the cajun calamari. But, most importantly, for the love of God, do NOT forget the spring rolls – that would be a crying shame.

The blurb : Pull in every Friday between 18:00 and 20:00 to enjoy any of the delicious tapas items: Chicken Nachos, Tzatziki & Pita, Marinated Sirloin strips, Grilled Cajun Calamari at ridiculously low prices… Let’s do a little sum for you here: If you and a mate share a huge Chicken Nachos AND Sticky Buffalo wings, you’re both in for R27 each. It’s ridiculous. And delicious.

Book now: 021 438 8315.

I’ve just realised I can go one step further. The menu is actually right here with me. (I swear I didn’t use it earlier when I was showing off for you).

You want it?

No problem – CLICK HERE for the Caprice menu.

Quietly enjoy the 2oceansvibe cocktail on the cocktail list..

Dave, Mike, MJ, could we look at tweaking it a bit before summer?