Eyewitness news published the following:

His domestic worker made the discovery when she arrived for duty on Tuesday morning. The woman who discovered the man’s body is currently giving a statement to police. Speaking to Eyewitness News, one bystander said they heard a commotion coming from the house on Monday  evening. It is understood there were three people inside the house, including the victim. It is still not clear how the man died, but foul play is suspected.

Journalist, Paula Chowles tweeted this additional info. – (click continue reading)

[Source : EWN]

This, from Shaun Oakes:

Upon ordering food and drink, we started picking up a “bit of a vibe” from him, as he openly started questioning the round of drinks we ordered. “Oh, you can drink but you can’t eat,” he said at one point, which annoyed me, as I don’t appreciated my drinking habits being put in the spotlight. (we had had one drink at that point) Eventually we asked him what he thought we had ordered to eat, and it turns out, he had taken our order down as a “bean curd” instead of a “green plate”.

Ha ha okay, honest mistake. Let’s laugh it off and move on then. Instead though, he (perhaps in a failed attempt at humour) kept carrying on about the drinks, and at this point asked for the 3rd/4th time whether The Girlfriend was sure she wanted what she ordered (a Cosmo and a prawn hand roll). The Girlfriend, who by this time was getting annoyed, pointed out that to her knowledge, the waiter wasn’t her father (I was pretty sure of this as well), and requested that he stop questioning her. The waiter, who I can only assume was still clinging on to a humour card even as he must have sensed the train wreck this conversation was turning into, then asked if she “wanted a hug”.

Now, this was a pretty ballsy thing for a waiter to say to a patron, attempt at humour or not. The Girlfriend replied with (and pay attention, because this bit will be important further down the line “What the f**k, you’re our waiter, you need to jack up. I want to speak to the manager.”

He seemed taken aback that we weren’t playing along with him, but then regained his composure and replied with a snooty “with pleasure” and disappeared. Feeling uncomfortable, we then asked someone walking passed our table to grab the manager, and explained the whole thing to him. We requested a new waiter, as things had obviously deteriorated between us. The manager, having listened to the story, apologised and said that the waiter was one of the best at Beluga, and that it was likely an attempt at humour that didn’t work well. He then offered to comp our meal. Fine, we were happy with that explanation.

The Girlfriend still felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave – but I have a rule about accepting free food – so we accepted his offer, had our meal, and then left.

Here Is Where It Gets Interesting

The next day The Girlfriend – who knows the owner, Oscar Kotze – sent him an email explaining what went down, and wanting him to be aware of how certain behaviour from staff can be misconstrued and be turned into a bit of a drama.

Follow the link below to check out the email exchange and the comments. Let us know your thoughts..

The Girlfriend Wrote:
From: The Girlfriend
To: Oscar Kotze
Subject: harassing waiter

Hello Oscar

I hope you, **** and **** are doing well.

I just wanted to bring to your attention an incident that happened to Shaun and I last night whilst dining at Beluga. Upon misunderstanding our order (prawn hand rolls, the Green plate, a cosmo and beer) our waiter started making snarky comments to us about what he had thought we ordered (a bean curd soup and prawn hand roll). He continued to harass us when ordering my second cocktail that “I can drink but I can’t eat”… We picked up the hostility and asked him what exactly he thought we had ordered, after we cleared up the ordering fiasco he enquired “Is that all you’re going to eat?”… When I asked why he feels the need to talk to me like my father and pointed out that he has no right speaking to patrons like that, he offered to give me a hug… flabbergasted I requested to speak to the manager, he arrogantly said he would be happy to get the manager for me. In a see-how-far-that-is-going-to-get-you tone.

****** was called and handled the situation by assuring us our waiter would be changed and our bill would be taken care of. He also mentioned that this guy is in fact a really good waiter and that it could be his humour. A lovely, efficient waitress named ** continued to serve us but by then unfortunately our ideas for a lovely night at Beluga were already diminished.

What I would like to point out, Oscar, is that both Shaun and I are bloggers/writers, having good friends who are the top bloggers in Cape Town. Shaun works at the biggest internet marketing company. My connection and the respect I have for you and the hard work and passion I know you put into the Caviar Group I reassure you I would never make a public stink out of your restaurants. I just would like you to be aware that something like this did happen and hopefully you could put a stop to something like this happening in the future. And if this is indeed the waiter’s sense of humour, maybe it will go down well at some pub in Brackenveld but educated young professionals in Seapoint go out to have a pleasant experience.

Regards,
The Girlfriend

___________________________

Oscar Kotze Wrote:
From:Oscar Kotze
To: The Girlfriend
Subject: Re: harassing waiter
Hi

Ok, so here goes:

The fact that you swore at my waiter **** is completely unacceptable – I have convinced him to lay a criminal case against you, and the company will back him all the way – its the year 2011 and no one has the right to speak to people the way you did – even your mail below is degrading and condescending

>From my side, I am sorry that I was not here, I would have chased you out of my restaurant if I was

As to your personality, lack of manners and general attitude to life I will refrain from commenting – the fact that you even have the audacity to contact me and threaten me after what you did – seriously, wow, what a joke

This will be the last communication that you will receive from me – I have asked ***** to provide me with your ID number so that we can use that for the criminal case

Obviously I never want you to come close to any of my businesses ever again – and if your friends condone the way to deal with people, and you convince them not to come to my restaurants, well then that will also be ok

Thanks

______________

Read all about it (and check out the comments)
at Shaunoakes.com

Read about what other bloggers are saying here.

I’ve done a fair bit of “fine dining” in my time, both locally and internationally. I find the local offerings stuffy and artificial, often confusing bothersome over-attention with tip-top service. As any good butler or concierge will know, excellent service can stem from doing nothing at all – ie. knowing when to leave the employer/customer alone. There is nothing I hate more than service staff checking-up over and over again to see if I’m ok. “Well, my friend, to be honest I was ok, before you interrupted my train of thought for the third time today, to ask if I was ok.”

Which brings me to the Planet Restaurant - a plush newly-decorated high-ceiling affair within Cape Town’s most grand and famous hotel, the Mount Nelson. Some people might refer to it as fine dining, but it’s not.

In a good way.

When entering the restaurant itself, there is no doubt that you have arrived at an upmarket establishment, where no expense has been spared in its decoration and presentation. The staff are highly attentive and clearly well-trained, with genuine smiles and warmth replacing the ironically clueless stuck-up snooty attitude that we have grown accustomed to in South Africa’s posh restaurants.

The Mount Nelson’s highly-acclaimed chef, Rudi Liebenberg,  has put together a menu to be proud of, with a selection to suit every palette (check out their awesome menu here). I was not surprised that the cuisine itself was beautifully presented and more than delicious, and want to focus more on the experience as a whole. It should be noted that you are also offered the chance to have a glass of wine to pair with each dish, with an expert available to help you make that choice. I gave that a miss and stuck to the De Grendel.

But the thing that got me was this – once our main meal had arrived, we were checked on just once, and then left alone. Now that might seem like a basic thing to you, but I assure you these days it is not. The waiter could see we were in discussion and I watched him out the corner of my eye – as he looked from across the room, gauging for himself as to whether or not we needed to be interrupted. Every now and then our glasses would be topped up, without a word uttered by the young gentleman.

The “fine dining” “silver service” badge kicked in again, as my partner went to the bathroom. She had just left the table when, quick-as-a-flash, her chair was straightened and her napkin placed, neatly folded, over the arm of the chair – prepared for her return. It’s those little special details that I want out of my dining experience. Those are the important things. Not overdoing the attention and checking five times if “everything is ok.”

The Planet Restaurant at the Mount Nelson is where you want to go for a special dining experience. It could be classed as “fine dining” but I would caution such a description, as that particular term has lost it’s cool. Nobody really wants fine dining anymore. If they want something impressive, classy and cool – with outstanding food and top professional service, this is what they’re after.

You’ll leave satisfied, with a smile on your face – something all too rare in the “fine dining” realm..

CLICK HERE FOR ARTICLE AND MORE PICS ON POP YA COLLAR

If it’s a bit of cool class you’re after, then check this out!

Thursday nights at Planet Bar

Planet Bar is known as Cape Town’s premier venue for after-work week day drinks and the perfect warm up to a weekend night-on-the-town.

Now, Planet invites you to experience Thursday nights, to sample premier beverage brands matched with the soothing sounds of soul and funk integrated with deep house music.

Cocktails are priced from R35,00. Try mind-blowing creations such as Planet’s signature Planet Passion – a mix of Stolichnaya raspberry vodka combined with fresh passion fruit purée, charged with Pierre Jourdan Cuvée Brut and crowned with Chambord black raspberry liqueur.

Make sure to also try out Chef Rudi Liebenberg’s new snack menu offering mushroom empanadas, oysters and a mouth watering range of warm options such as mini ostrich sosaties.

For more details please contact: Tel: +27 (0)21 483 1948 or email: restaurantreservations@mountnelson.co.za

So rad! The DJ plays from 18h00 to 22h00 every Thursday!

And have you seen their “snack” menu? Seriously, don’t even joke…

Find out more about Planet Bar here.

I’ll see you there – MOST of the summer.

Regards,

And we’re rounding out the year with a flourish.

On Friday 25 November, 100 lucky Capetonians will be treated to a fantastic lunch at the Grand Beach Cafe, courtesy of Jack Daniels and 2oceansVibe. Think the quintessential Grand Feast – an array of mouthwatering platters of linefish & tempura prawns, steak, pizzas and more – all enjoyed to the soulful sounds of Jack Mantis and the thirst-quenching pleasure of chilled Jack cocktails.

THERE WILL BE TWENTY LUCKY WINNERS, ALLOWED TO BRING FOUR FRIENDS EACH:

To Enter:

Tell us your best excuse for getting off work on Friday by:

Mailing us

Tweeting us (use #JackFriday hashtag)

Leaving a comment below.

Enter as many times as you like. The more you enter, and the more platforms you use, the higher your chances of winning.

GO GO GO!

My family are close friends with owners, Mariana and Peter. My dad gets special pies which aren’t on the menu when we’re at Mariana’s. And when they come round to my folks’ place, you can only imagine (as an accomplished cook herself) the performance my mother throws in the kitchen. It’s quite ridiculous, with much wine and invention. But given our (the boys) fortunate position of being at the receiving end of the production line, we let them maa’ carry on.

Getting more to the point, I’m quite used to these high levels of real cooking (every single thing cooked from scratch), and must be forgiven for not telling you about this earlier. You see, I ran out of my last jar of atchar Mariana gave me, and I haven’t had it for a few MONTHS. But just last week a brand new jar was dropped off for me at the Cape Royale hotel. I took it back to the Safe House and opened it for the first time today.

Oh my good Lord…

I don’t know if I’m even allowed to be telling you about this. For all I know Mariana just makes it for me and my mum. And if that is the case, then I apologise for making you excited. But if she does sell it, I strongly advise you prioritise your shit and get your hands on it with the greatest of urgency.

It goes with anything. Take for example the sandwich in the above photograph. Notice how the atchar has transformed your basic cheese sandwich, into a gastronomical orgasm.

You have never known an atchar like this. When you eat it, it feels like you’re doing something illegal.

When I eat is, I EXPECT to get arrested.

You need to get some of this stuff.

Even if you don’t like atchar, I bet you R1 000 you will love it.

That’s if they sell it.

I doubt they do.

And you certainly shouldn’t expect it to be dropped off at your front door, either.

[mariana's]

Cue controversy. Click here to navigate to Another Damned Food Blog.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is about time you amend your perceptions of reality.

Surf, by Groupon.

Pay R180 instead of R437 for a 40-piece sushi platter at Leaf Restaurant and Bar (save %59)

And Turf, by Groupon.

Pay R99 for two 220g steak fillets served with vegtables at Vanilla, valued at R210 (save 53%)

You see that? That’s a joke, that’s what it is.

Click HERE and HERE to get these amazing deals, in your face, right now.

One a debonair and clean cut playboy and the other not, Crispin “Chowgaps” Inglis and Howie Kahn have joined forces with Springbok sponsors Canterbury to bring this unique outside broadcast to loyal 2OV listeners which will also be followed up by live Tri-Nations commentary from the Men with Balls, Blokes on the Couch.

Chowgaps and Howie will run their show from 08h00 until 09h30, before Blokes on the Couch take to the microphones to entertain everyone at Caveau.

Members of the public are more than welcome to join in the fun, with Caveau putting on a special breakfast menu for just R50 (English breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, beef sausage, with your choice of a coffee or a Jack Black beer), and with Canterbury Springbok jerseys and store vouchers on offer for those present – not to mention a host of special Rugby guests including Player 23 Malcolm “Jan” Ferreira.

Follow The Bench on Twitter to stay up to date on all the happenings on Saturday morning, and make sure to tune into The Bench on 2oceansVibe Radio or get down to Caveau from 08h00 onwards!

Address: Caveau At The Mill, 13 Boundary Road (next to Newlands stadium)
For reservations, call 021-6855140.

The address: 33 Church Street, Cape Town, 8001.

The British have an obsession with Indian food. One can barely walk a block in a London neighbourhood without some imaginatively-named Indian restaurant signage, like “Little India”, “India Delight” or “Delicious Delhi” beckoning you in off the homogenous high street. The whole area of Brick Lane, just east of the City, is effectively an orgy of Indian cuisine.

During my time living in Blightly, I cultivated a certain fondness for the ritual around a curry. A group of friends and I would often end the weekend with dinner in Little India at the end of the High Street, and it was here that I became well-versed in the merits of the Lamb Rogan Gosh, the pitfalls of the Vindaloo and the careful preparation of the crispy poppadom (which has more spelling options than Muammar Gaddafi) and the doughy naan bread.  The service was always immaculate and never a sliced banana or bottle of Mrs Balls in sight.

Tiger Beer or Royal Challenge would be the beverage of choice as we’d dissect every event that happened over the course of the weekend, desperate not to leave the comforting bosom of Little India for the reality of another working week. It was thus slightly inevitable that on returning to Cape Town, a substitute for Little India was to be found. And did we find one. Enter Bukhara.

Situated adjacent to Greenmarket Square, a mere poppadom frisbee’s throw from Wale Street, this absolute gem of a restaurant is an institution in Cape Town and never fails to impress. Last week we decided to reintroduce the sacred London tradition and sat around a table to enjoy a curry whilst rehashing some vintage tales from the underground.

A feature common to all the restaurants in the Bukhara stable is a glass-walled kitchen which, apart from easing concerns about what goes on in the kitchen, creates a wonderfully industrious, authentic atmosphere. With a great wine list and reassuringly long list of malt, we were in good hands. As its website suggests, “Bukhara invites you to enjoy great Indian food in plush yet vibey, busy atmosphere.” And it certainly lives up to the hype.

Experienced pros do not overplay their hands with the naan bread, and hence we saved ourselves for the feast which ensued. I opted for the Lamb Rogan Gosh (despite vacillating between it and the Lamb Korma) which was outstanding. With generous servings we were able to dip into the communal Prawn Masala, while arguably the best plate of the night was the butter chicken: simply sensational and fast-becoming something of a signature dish. Despite much talk of one our foursome taking on the outrageously hot Vindaloo, it didn’t happen, much to my disappointment.

The naan bread was a great side, and we shared a generous portion of basmati rice. The service throughout was excellent – and it was great to see a good mix of locals and tourists filling up the tables. On a few outings to Bukhara I’ve not seen it anything but busy – often a key indicator in the merits of a restaurant in the mother city.

A big draw to the UK curryhouse is the very reasonable price they charge for great food and a trip to a far-removed world. Bukhara would certainly not fall into the “very reasonable” category, though the money is well spent in this venerable institution. And if a full dinner seems a bridge too far, Bukhara does offer a lighter menu before 6pm – a worthwhile option.

If it’s Indian you’re looking for in Cape Town, Bukhara is it. The Tendulkar of curry houses.

Review brought to you by Table Magic.

Naturally, Brendon and the four friends he had selected to enjoy his afternoon of power boating and Jack Daniel Whisky tasting needed a base of operations – preferably one that fed them, and fed them well. Meloncino fit the bill, to the tee. Nothing says “Good Friday Afternoon” like Cape Town’s officially-voted top pizza and pasta.

So the stars have aligned, as they do, to spread the love a little but further than Brendon. Much further, in fact.

Today’s awesome Groupon deal features Meloncino, and their award-winning pizza and pasta. No look, the 2oceansVibe Radio crew, along with Brendon and his four lady friends, is more than happy to attest to the quality of the fare.

Pay R99 for any two pizzas or pasta dishes or one of each at Meloncino, valued at R250. No spice. Promise.

E non è tutto! (“That’s not all.”) You also get 50% off all cocktails between 16h00 and 18h00. That’s what we call “love for your throat”.

This Groupon deal is redeemable for three months, so check out the main landing Groupon page for Cape Town, now!

How much do you think a night like that should cost? R500? Nay!

R335 will nab you this experience, which is completed by complimentary aperitifs in the lobby prior to the meal, and a jazz accompaniment throughout the evening.

Waltz into the Grill Room for an evening of selfish, and delicious, pleasure.

Contact the Eighteen Hundred to make reservations via email, or call them on 021 430 0506.

The address: 6 Watson Street, Cape Town.

Restaurant reviews have long fascinated me. So often they resemble nothing like a restaurant review. And certainly not a review of the food that the writer enjoyed (or didn’t), the venue in which the food was served or the quality of the cuisine.

No, the restaurant review often resembles a flow of thought. Reading one can be like taking an amble with the writer and listening to his or her views on a range of topics – none of which relate remotely to food. A look at life through their prism if you will, prior to a brief précis of a dinner out. Generally rather dull foreplay ahead of the main course. Nevertheless, I remain a great fan, and love to read them – particularly those by AA Gill – a master of the review.

I digress.

A few weeks back I wrote a short piece on the launch of a new service in Cape Town called Table Magic. It is an online restaurant booking site which is/has/will certainly make the lives of Capetonians much easier. Restaurant bookings can now be made from the comfort of your desk by logging on to www.tablemagic.co.za, without the need for those annoying, and often embarrassing calls to a receptionist who battles to hear you above the din around her. Nothing like calling a restaurant and then having the receiver placed on the table only to hear the orders from table 12, the tardiness of waitresses, the frustration with the management.

Thank you Table Magic for liberating us from that struggle.

So I made my booking at the delightful near eatery – cleverly named What’s On Eatery – situated in Watson Street in the “City Bowl”.  Get it? Nevermind.

It is a relative newcomer to the Cape Town restaurant scene, in operation for a shade over four months as both a deli during the day and restaurant in the evening. I most confess (even though this is a review), What’s On Eatery is outstanding – no question about it.

As is the way with most restaurant reviews, I was accompanied by the Blonde who provided not only a tasting sound-board, but sparkling repartee and an invaluable fountain of knowledge on all things food-, and wine-related.

To reach the restaurant one passes through the stark white deli-style café which I imagine must be very popular with the magazine set during the day. The walk upstairs is well worth the effort as the Blonde and I entered an eating haven – very cosy with the wooden floorboards and low ceiling reining one in comfortingly, rather then claustrophobically. I wasn’t wild about the soft furnishings, but luckily the acoustics were spot on so nobody could overhear my musings. And this a restaurant review after all.

We waited once or twice but didn’t struggle to catch our waiters eye, the intimate seating came in handy here. I was ravenous so sampled the fresh bread offered upon arrival and I am pleased to report that both the bread and olive oil at were up to scratch – unlike many spots in town. We were off to a flyer.

The wine list is perfect for a mid-week jaunt. Easy to navigate, to the point and so fairly priced that you would feel guilty not taking a bottle. We settled on a sultry Pinot Noir, which at under R200 is as rare a find in Cape Town these days as faithfully married Premiership footballer in England.

After a satisfactory, though unremarkable starter, I opted for what proved to be an inspired choice – Beef Wellington served with roasted baby vegetables and green peppercorn Borelaise jus. As good, no, better than it sounds. The What’s On variation on a British classic was utterly sublime. Like Federer in his pomp – all style, subtlety and substance.

I did frown at the Blonde’s slightly boring choice of Line Fish in a restaurant aiming to become known for its meat dishes, however I am assured that it didn’t disappoint. She quickly undid all her good intentions by polishing off the generous side of creamy potatoes au gratin. Both mains also had accompanying fresh garden greens.

The portions were so generous neither of us could fit in pudding (maybe should have listened to the old wives tales about the bread basket) but that certainly gives a good reason to go back. And from catching a glance of the chocolate fondant on offer, a pretty good one.

So all in all. A superb outing. Seamless booking through Table Magic and an eatery which should be on the scene for a Long time. Get it? Nevermind.

Review brought to you by Table Magic.

This special runs from 12:00 – 20:00 from Mondays to Thursdays from 2 May until 25 August 2011. Bookings can be made by mailing info@cafecaprice.co.za or calling 021 438 8315.

And speaking of weather, there are a few dead give-aways that Cape Town is donning her autumnal jacket. The deluge of models at Caprice turns into a trickle, Ed Hardy shirts are harder to spot, the Atlantic seaboard set start planning trips to the Med, and of course, the restaurant specials.

The absolute dead cert is the spreadsheet which will soon start appearing in your inbox advertising Cape Town’s epic ‘Winter Restaurant Deals’. Well, thanks to the ingenuity of the team at Table Magic I am delighted to report that you will no longer have to rifle through your old mails to find a list of all restaurants specials in Cape Town, and beyond.

Back to London – this is exactly how I used to operate – online everything. I have been patiently biding my time for a service which allows one to make restaurant bookings, online. From the comfort of your desk, without having to sneak off to make a frustrating call to a receptionist who doesn’t have  ‘the booking sheet’ to hand.  So many, many thanks for Table Magic for stepping up to the plate.

As the Table Magic website suggests, “Cape Town’s first restaurant search, review and instant booking site. No need to make a phone call, no need to wait patiently for a restaurant to get back and confirm your booking, with just one tap of a mouse button you can have a confirmed booking at your chosen restaurant. And the most amazing part, the service is completely free!”

So not only can you see a host of restaurant specials in Cape Town, you can also book online, review the restaurants online and earn rewards for the reviews. Genius.

It’s no biological mystery that us humans require more of a push in order to risk new experiences in the colder months. I’m sure Table Magic will expand my repertoire of restaurants visited during the Winter.

Now, all we need is for Kate Middleton’s sister to move to Cape Town and I’ll be happy.

Ryan is in town to film a movie called Safe House with Denzel Washington. We spotted him before at the U2 concert. Check out those pics here.

We’re very impressed with Ryan’s vibe in general. Very slick with a scarf and leather jacket, our boy was ushered into his waiting 4X4, as his minders stood by.

Glad you’re enjoying some of the vibe’s favourite eateries, Ryan. Let us know when you’re gonna pop-in to our new studio at 2oceansvibe Media head office

Click thumbnails below to enlarge:

This is what they had to say about the restaurant:

Part upmarket auberge, part award-winning restaurant complex, Le Quartier Français nestles in a corner of the Cape winelands. Dutch-born chef Margot Janse’s nine-course African-inspired Surprise Menu, paired with local wines, takes diners on a gourmet safari, highlighting southern African flavours, many of which are sourced from Le Quartier’s gardens. Others, such as Kalahari salt, hail from Namibia. Janse’s aim is to be 100% African in all her produce – she’s 80% there.

Margot Janse, the hero behind a “nine-course African-inspired Surprise Menu”.

For the rest of the Top 50, have a look here.

Two other restaurants, Rust en Vrede from Stellenbosch and La Colombe in Constantia, also made the Top 100 at numbers 61 and 82 respectively.

[Source: The World's 50 Best]

Because of the volume of people and the size of the venue (The Grand Cafe & Beach) we have been able to give you such radical value for money, including weird and wonderful things like a Candy & Chocolate shop (courtesy of The Wings Group), which will be serving free waffles and candy chocolates all day (starts at 12noon). I’ll be taking it easy with those waffles, because I’ll need some space for the oysters, which will be coming out at 6pm. We’ve got enough for 700 people – so you should be cool..

By the way, THE DRESS is beach/bikini chic during the day and anything that looks sexy enough to carry on through to the evening. You should look relaxed but effortlessly classy at the same time. Basically just do what you usually do when you’re being awesome.

The venus for The Vibe 2011 : The Grand Cafe & Beach

It’s oyster city – and you’re the mayor

The first 500 people will get R500 gift vouchers, courtesy of Sunglass Hut and another R600 Brite Smile voucher, courtesy of de Waterkant Health - giving you the Hollywood smile you’ve always wanted!

You’ll need it, as you pose alongside your crew, with your Peroni, Boschendal bubbly or De Grendel wine in your hand – which everyone will be served on arrival. Don’t panic if you don’t enjoy booze, because Ceres will be serving soft drinks for everyone!

If you were wondering about entertainment I should mention that Crazy White Boy will be performing their new single, during DJ Sox‘s set (from 12noon to 6pm). After that we will have Judy Brown from Liquid Sax performing on the beach with her saxophone, followed by drummers, percussionists, more DJs and fire dancers.

We’re even setting up a mini Puma Social Club, just for you!

From 8pm to midnight, DJ Mr. Mo will get the party into full swing with Zip Zap circus and stilt walkers breathing another kind of life into the party. It’s Willy Wonka meets Alice in Wonderland. On an island. In Hollywood. If that makes any sense..

The lighting and decor will completely blow you away and, just when you thought you had seen it all, BANG, pizzas will be served by actual angels at 10pm. That’s your second wind, right there.

Best dressed couple wins a magnum of bubbly, courtesy of Boschendal.

All of that for R200? Please man, give me a break – you’ve blown that on your first few car guards on a Friday night.

To the final 80 people buying tickets – good luck. I hope you enjoy the rush..

CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS TO THE VIBE 2011
BROUGHT TO YOU BY 2OCEANSVIBE AND THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK

CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS

TICKETS WILL NOT BE SOLD AT THE DOOR

CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS ONLINE NOW

Check it out at www.popyacollar.co.za

Team 2oceansvibe – we didn’t win.
Volleyball was the winner at the end of the day..

CLICK HERE to see the rest of the pics at POPYACOLLAR.CO.ZA

Magic moments..

From surfers and slicksters to sportsmen, models and movie stars – everyone had the same goal – to have the greatest night of their lives. And most of them succeeded. Such synergy. Such awesomeness. And this year we have calculated the awesomeness to be at LEAST five time greater than last year. That is our guarantee to you!

Cherub rock, baby..

The Vibe party – 2011

A lot of you might recall the drama experienced as the date of the party closed in. A large number of you had forgotten to buy tickets and you only realised the day before that all of your mates were going and you really wanted to go. DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR and do it properly this year. Because it WILL sell out again and you WILL be the only one in your group without a ticket.

More importantly, I don’t think I will be able to cope if you don’t make it.

EXPECT to be impressed..

Like never before..

We are not selling tickets on the night and you can buy tickets online right now at Web Tickets.

CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS ONLINE NOW.

It starts at 12 noon on March 26. It’s a Saturday.

Check out last years photos and video.

A massive thanks goes to our sponsors, who allowed us to put on this display of such utter beauty and extravagance:

The GWG will be hosted by the Grand Cafe on Camps Bay beach, and is in aid of The Good Work Foundation. Keeping in spirit with its name, the Good Work Foundation is a charity dedicated to helping the young and the elderly affected by AIDS.

Absolutely 100% of your R350 ticket goes to the cause, and you get a welcome cocktail, canapes, and a live performance by GoodLuck, The Dirty Skirts, and Plush, all three of whom we thoroughly approve of. Just a quick warning, your inner ear will be pleasured.

So let’s recap: you donate R350 to a great charity, and you have excellent live music washing over your ear drums, and fine beverages thrust into your hand. It’s basically a joke.

More after the jump

You’ll also have the opportunity to bid for a number of rare items, including, but not limited to:

- A Jordy Smith autographed surfboard

- A signed Guitar by the artists performing

- A 2-night getaway for two to the famous 5-Star Londolozi Private Game Reserve, valued at R15 000

- A 2-night weekend stay at the Grand Café and Rooms B&B and 1 dinner, valued at R6 000

- A 2-night stay for two at Aquila Game Reserve, valued at R14 000

So not so bad there, either.

You can buy your ticket right here.

If you are unable to attend but would still like to make a contribution to this incredibly important work, the following account has been set up. No amount is too small when you consider some families of eight people in Philippi are living off less than R200 per month. Your generosity is more gratefully received than you will ever know.

Nedbank

Account Holder – Marula Trust Good Work Foundation

Branch: Corporate Saver

Branch Code: 720026

Account No. 9016530405

For More info about “The Good Work Foundation” click here, or check out their Facebook page, here.

“Hey guys. I’m Gary Thomas. Welcome to The Waiting Room. We’re going to play you some music, in case you were wondering about all…this.”
So began Gary Thomas’ Long Street gig last night. It stayed awkward, but the music got better as the night went on.

By around 9h43, which is to say two fancy beers later, the place had pretty much filled up – unreasonably gorgeous hipster girls lining every spare bit of floorspace like judgemental skirting and sailor-tattooed dudes perching on the edge of vintage couches in the hopes of seeing the evening’s artist emerge, or, better yet, some hipster girl side boob.

I’ll be honest, I spent the first two or three songs starting at Gary Thomas’ crotch. And I mean not in that vaguely sexual manner – yes, the dude’s attractive enough with the whole musician vibe, Michael Cera patter and Abe Lincoln beard, but it was more because there was a chunky tear in his jeans, and I could see some folded stuff moving in the gloom whenever his insane strumming made him shift position. I wasn’t sure what I was looking at – the red/blue alternating lighting made it hard to tell if there were flesh tones involved, and from where I was sitting, spotting hair was difficult. I may never know.

Fortunately, the music took my mind off of Gary Thomas’ balls pretty quickly, once we got past the technically impressive, but stilted, opening pieces. Thomas started employing the big guns from his most recent album, Contraption Distoria – Stone Thrower and The Inventor stood out in particular; blindingly rapid strumming, ethereal vocals, great rhythmic progression – that whole anti-folk Gary Thomas bag.

These shows are generally awesome – in particular because, no matter how big the crowd gets, they tend to quiet the fuck down when Gary Thomas is playing, and watch his hands blur across the frets like they’re watching a classical virtuoso. Which, they are, sort of. Granted, the douchebag sitting in front of me and the lady on his lap weren’t exactly playing along with the ‘sit quietly and watch this guy rock the hell out’ game, but for the most part the audience was respectfully and rightfully awed at the performance.

The set peaked around the penultimate song – Stowaway, I think, but I can never hear what Gary Thomas is warbling between footstomps, so don’t take my word on that. For unclear reasons (“bleeding fingers”) he opted to go for a more relaxed exiting song than the earlier stompity-stomp strummidy-strum numbers – which was a little disappointing, I guess, but the audience was hanging on to his performance so tightly that he could probably have played Twinkle-Twinkle and still received a standing ovation. He’s an awkward dude who plays amazingly – his audience seems to get that.

I’m not totally sure if Gary Thomas would work if he were any ‘bigger’ – the acoustic strumming thing only works so well when projected beyond a certain point, and half the charm of attending his shows is in seeing the interaction with the evidently loyal (R40 cover charge) fans; this was a great show, though, and in future attendance ought to be mandatory for all non-douchey folk in the area.

[Images via GaryThomas.co.za and TheBestKirby]

“The five year lease came to an end and, given the economic climate, we weren’t willing to commit to another five,” said Bullpit. “I will be moving to The Roundhouse as executive chef and working alongside PJ Vadas, something I’m very excited about.”

Click here to read more.

Prince William has a long time best mate, who goes by the name of Guy Pelly. Guy will most certainly be known to those of you who have completed a sojourn to Blighty.

Guy’s long tome girlfriend is Susanna Warren, the grand daughter of the Queen’s late great friend, the 7th Earl of Carnarvon. Susanna, as it turns out, has moved to Cape Town to fulfill a marketing position at our beloved Fez (AKA Vaudeville), in the heart of the Cape Town CBD.

Guy, who resides in the UK, is understandably distressed to hear of the departure of Susanna, and this is where it all gets a little tenuous.

Word on the street is that Guy is the man responsible for organising the Prince’s pre-wedding stag party, and he plans on killing two birds with one stone, as it were. Rumours suggest that the Fez has been more than a little conveniently chosen as the venue for Will’s stag party by Guy, ostensibly in an attempt to win Susanna back.

In any event.

However breathless the emotions, we’d just like to assure Guy that he’ll have made a good venue choice for Old Bill. Cape Town, get ready for Will in March.

Hen’s party for Kate at Caprice, anyone?

[Source : IOL]

*Have you spotted any celebs around town? Send ‘em through and you will be rewarded

“..the fact that he (Michael Mouneimne) could belittle a woman being harassed shows his contempt or lack of respect for female rights.”

A statement like that would annoy anyone who has had the pleasure of meeting or knowing Mikey (who doesn’t drink and is known for having the greatest respect for all people, not just women). It was that statement (sent directly to 2oceansvibe) which led to a follow-up article, which led to photos being sent in and published on these pages. From there, it all went to the traditional press – Namely News24 and Die Burger.

But you will be pleased to know that this whole fiasco has gone full-circle and in the spirit of goodwill and all the festive cheer that comes with this time of the year, it seems that all the parties concerned (Cafe Caprice, Lee-Ann Liebenberg and Former GQ Best Dressed Man Of The Year, Nicky Van Der Walt) have made peace.

Together they have released this statement:

After much sensationalised hype and speculation in the media, Cafe Caprice, Nicky van der Walt and Lee-Ann Liebenberg would like to put an end to a story that has been unnecessarily hyped up.

The parties concerned have discussed the unfortunate events that transpired at Cafe Caprice last Sunday and we are happy to report that the issue has been amicably resolved between the parties concerned.

Much of what has been reported in the media regarding events has been exaggerated and often has been factually incorrect. Sometimes the best intentions can result in the worst outcome – as was the case on Sunday.

All parties would now like to look forward to a prosperous and happy New Year instead of dwelling on the negativities of the past.

Mr. Michael Mouneimne, Nicky van der Walt and Lee-Ann Liebenberg have apologized for the unfortunate statements quoted by various media outlets and acknowledge that they were made in the heat of the moment.

Female rights and everybody’s respect thereof is paramount and should never be taken lightly. Cafe Caprice has been an institution in Cape Town for both local and international celebrities alike for many years and in particular with Nicky, Lee-Ann and their many friends.

Everybody looks forward to returning to Cafe Caprice soon and for many years to come.

All parties would now like to respectfully request that the gossip and speculation end and wish everybody a safe and happy 2011.

Aaah, you guys!!!

[group hug]

I’m going to start releasing random statements.

“Seth Rotherham will be getting up this morning and will probably have a coffee at vida e. In response to the public speculation as to why Seth Rotherham does this, he would like to make it clear that this is merely the way in which he “rolls.”

Although a statement like that probably doesn’t have the “wow factor” which comes with a story to do with R60,000 worth of champagne being sprayed around Caprice, followed by a public brawl and people being thrown out of the Cape Town beachfront institution.

The story has gone national, with stories on page three of today’s Die Burger, and on News24.com, following the posting of pictures of Liebenberg and van der Walt’s exploits on 2oceansvibe.

Cliff had the following to say, linking to the original 2oceansvibe post on the matter:

He also retweeted this post:

Martinengo, meanwhile was almost as brutal.

But Cliff’s comments, and the ones that he retweeted weren’t met with complete consensus. Prominent Cape Town blogger, Cape Town Girl, was one of many who expressed views contradictory to Cliff’s.

Follow Gareth on Twitter here, and Sasha on Twitter, here.

CLICK HERE for the photos broken by 2oceansvibe.

CLICK HERE for the original 2oceansvibe story, regarding the Cafe Caprice incident.

CLICK HERE for their official statement.

CLICK HERE for a previous story about van der Walt’s brawl at the Plett polo.

CLICK HERE for a previous story about van der Walt being accused of cruelty to animals.

CLICK HERE for their official statement.

CLICK HERE for the original 2oceansvibe story, regarding the Cafe Caprice incident.

CLICK HERE for a previous story about van der Walt’s brawl at the Plett polo.

CLICK HERE for a previous story about van der Walt being accused of cruelty to animals.

CLICK HERE for the current GQ Best Dressed Man of the Year. (yeah baby)

Click thumbnails below to enlarge the pics.

Did you also manage to get some footage from the night? Drop an email to editor@2oceansvibe.com and you will be rewarded. Anonymity guaranteed.

[thanks johann]

The statement is meant to be on behalf of both of them, but switches from references of ‘we’ and ‘our,’ to ‘me’ and ‘I’ – so it’s all rather confusing. Follow the link for their official statement..

Official Statement on behalf of Nicky van der Walt & Lee-Ann Liebenberg:

1. We were privileged enough to be guests on a very generous friend’s table and were enjoying one of our firsts nights out since the birth of our baby girl, Gia. My fiancé was touched in a place, spoken to and handled in a manner that is an insult to her as woman and degrading to females in general, and out of respect for her, I don’t wish to elaborate on the matter as its is degrading and insulting to the mother of my child.

2. We respectfully request to be left alone as a family on holiday with our baby and parents in Cape Town

3. As degrading as it is that this transpired and Lee-Ann had to be put through this, it is even more insulting that we should be ridiculed about it.

4. Mr. Michael Mouneimne had 4 or 5 different incidents non-related to our incident that occurred in his establishment and the fact that he could belittle a woman being harassed shows his contempt or lack of respect for female rights.

We have nothing further to say and request that our privacy and wishes be respected in this regard.

There was no number 5 next to that last point, so I don’t know if you should take it as an actual point, or just a kind of closing statement.

One thing is for sure, I’ll take Mike’s word over this lot, any day of the week. And anyone who knows Mike will do the same.

Let’s just keep in mind that van der Walt and Liebenberg were boasting of drinking R60,000 of champagne. And then you get Mike, who doesn’t drink.

Is this what Lee-Ann meant on the night when she threatened Mike and Caprice, telling them they would “regret” throwing them out?

Come now. Don’t be silly.

CLICK HERE for the original 2oceansvibe story, regarding the Cafe Caprice incident.

CLICK HERE for the PHOTOGRAPHS from the evening.

CLICK HERE for a previous story about van der Walt’s brawl at the Plett polo.

CLICK HERE for a previous story about van der Walt being accused of cruelty to animals.

CLICK HERE for the current GQ Best Dressed Man of the Year. (yeah baby)

Cafe Caprice - Camps Bay

When everything got too heated, they got thrown out.

This, from iol:

Sultry model Lee-Ann Liebenberg claims she was sexually harassed while partying up a storm at a Camps Bay restaurant. The alleged incident took place at Cafe Caprice on Sunday night, while new mother Liebenberg and a group of friends were in the midst of racking up a whopping R75 000 bill for French champagne.

According to Media24.com, Liebenberg’s polo player fiance, Nicky van der Walt, aggresively confronted her alleged assailant at around 11pm. Van der Walt apparently let his fists do most of the talking, after which Liebenberg and her friends were asked to leave the restaurant. Liebenberg posted on Twitter that she had been attacked that same evening.

“Someone touched her in an inappropriate manner. She feels humiliated and shy,” her agent said.

But the manager of Caprice is laying the blame squarely at Liebenberg’s door.

Michael Mouneimne (Mike) claims Liebenberg is seeking attention.

“She wasn’t harassed. A man bumped into her by mistake in the very full restaurant and she pretended that he harassed her,” he said.

Mouneimne added that the Liebenberg crowd had been rowdy.

“They were drunk and went crazy. They even showered each other with the champagne.”

Things then got even crazier. After Van der Walt allegedly laid into Liebenberg, another member of their party started hitting Mouneimne. It was then that they were asked to pay their R60 000 bill for Veuve Clicquot, Dom Perignon and Moët and leave.

Read more here.

Liebenberg was also overheard screeching like a banshee at Mike, telling him he will “regret this.” Yup, that’s right – she really went for that angle.. The beautiful thing about all of this is neither Liebenberg nor Van Der Walt paid that bill. Their buddy Walter did. And while Van Der Walt was having words with Mike, sources confirm Liebenberg was seen pulling faces at Mike behind Van Der Walt’s back. No, seriously.

It’s all terribly emboerrissing and basically an example of exactly how not to do it. My left ball oozes more class than this lot. Not really what one would expect from a GQ man..

Nickann – so hot right now..

Of course it’s not the first time our boy has been in a scuffle – he was also banned for life from Plett polo after getting into a brawl there – over a former girlfriend as well.

Lest we forget the animal cruelty stories that did the rounds..

_____________________

UPDATE: A comment below has revealed further interesting information about Nicky Van Der Walt. CLICK HERE for a previous animal cruelty story.

Welcome to the madness – enjoy your stay.

The who’s who, including e-TV’s Nicky Greenwall, TKZ’s Kabelo, Roxy Louw, Top Billing’s Janez Vermeiren, Tracey McGregor and Dirty Skirts lead singer Jeremy de Tolly, were amongst those who took to the stands to watch the energy-filled show, and marvel at entertainers 1stProject – a group of 4 scantily clad hotties who opened and closed the evening with a drumming act which left guests cheering and requesting more.

Check out the pics:

Apple Launches New Macbook Air – At Apple’s keynote today, it was all about the Mac. “What would happen if a Macbook met an iPad?” asked Steve Jobs. “An iPad has instant-on. Great battery life, amazing standby time, solid state storage, and it’s thinner and lighter. What would happen if a Mac and an iPad hooked up?” Meet the latest version of the Macbook Air, a super thin computer (just .68 inch at its thickest point) that Jobs called “the future of notebooks.” [fastcompany]

Spice Surrounding New Age Resignations – The media sector has been buzzing with speculation about the reasons why five senior editorial staff at the New Age newspaper simultaneously quit their jobs on Tuesday, a day before the paper was due to launch. News of the resignations first trickled in on Tuesday evening, but by Wednesday local newspapers and even the BBC were covering the story. [mail&guardian]

Did Angelina Do An Interview Coked-Up? – A man claiming to be Angelina Jolie’s old drug dealer gave an interview to Life & Style. Among his accusations: She did a Charlie Rose interview high on cocaine. Here’s video of the interview—does this woman seem high? Angelina gave this interview to promote Girl, Interrupted. [gawker]

Scientists Pinpoint The Farthest Galaxy – Astronomers have confirmed that an incredibly faint galaxy in the constellation Fornax is the most distant known object in the universe, shining more than 13 billion light-years away and reflecting an era when stars were just beginning to emerge from a cosmic fog. The galaxy, known as UDFy-38135539, is one of several super-distant objects picked out from the Hubble Ultra Deep Field, the most sensitive snapshot ever taken of deep space. [msnbc]

Beyonce Has A Bun In The Oven – Singer Beyonce Knowles and her rapper husband Jay-Z are expecting their first child, US Weekly magazine reported on Wednesday. The 29-year-old Beyonce was surprised to learn she is in her first trimester of the pregnancy. She had wanted to finish another album but was overjoyed, the U.S. magazine said. [yahoo]

Chile Miner Had Another Mistress – Yonni Barrios, 50, was found to have been unfaithful to his wife, Marta Salinas, when his mistress, Susana Valenzuela, came forward during his 69-day ordeal. Mr Barrios was met by Miss Valenzuela when he emerged from the mine underneath the Atacama Desert last week. His wife stayed away. Miss Valenzuela said on Tuesday that she has had to fight off advances from a 25-year-old woman who was also romanced by Mr Barrios. [telegraph]

Saudi Prince Guilty Of Servant’s Murder – A Saudi prince who beat and strangled his servant to death at the culmination of a campaign of “sadistic” abuse is facing a life sentence after being convicted of murder. Saud Abdulaziz bin Nasser al Saud, a grandson of the billionaire king of Saudi Arabia, was found guilty at the Old Bailey of killing Bandar Abdulaziz at their five-star hotel suite in central London. [guardian]

Kazakhstan Making Unofficial Borat Sequel – When Borat arrived and was a huge, smash hit around the world… the people of Kazakhstan weren’t happy. Sacha Baron Cohen’s fictional character was a Kazakh and his portrayal of the country was hilariously horrible and Kazakhstan became an international punchline. So now, in a weird revenge plot, they’re trying to get 20th Century Fox to sue them by making an unofficial, unauthorized sequel to Borat called My Brother, Borat. [cinemablend]

China Still Indulging In Forced Abortions – China’s one-child policy, long a staple of its public policy for urban, ethnic Han Chinese, officially exists on the national level as a series of monetary incentives for those who hold to it and monetary punishments for those who run afoul. Numerous interviews and investigations, however, consistently uncover the policy as it is often applied: through forced, sometimes very late-term, abortions. [newser]

Marky Mark Working On Spy Drama Series – Entourage creator Mark Wahlberg and New Yorker writer Malcolm Gladwell are two members of the executive-producing team that will be creating a Cold War spy drama for HBO. The show, set in Berlin, “centers on a missionary who becomes involved in the C.I.A..” According to Vanity Fair, “it’s clear that both Wahlberg and Gladwell wield significant creative influence.” [vanityfair]

Be Careful When Your Phone Falls In The Toilet – A little advice: If you drop your phone in the toilet, think twice before going after it. Otherwise you could end up like this man in China who did that and had to be rescued by firemen. On television.The man in this video dropped his phone and it disappeared down the little hole, so we went shoulder-deep trying to get it back. 10 minutes and a few crowbars later he was freed. And now he’s all over Chinese television. [gizmodo]

Michael Schumacher’s Title-Winning 1994 Benetton F1 Car Up For Grabs – Calling all the super rich Schumacher fans! The mint-condition car Michael Schumacher won his first championship in has now turned up on JamesList for a whopping €1.5 million (about $2,087,500 at the time of writing). This is the original Formula 1 Benetton-Ford F1 B194-8 driven by the F1 legend when he won his first world championship in 1994 in Adelaide, Australia. Park that outside Caprice! [bornrich]

Sex.com Sells For $13 Million – A Caribbean corporation agreed to pay $13 million to buy Sex.com from its bankrupt owner. The domain changed hands in 2004 for $12 million. So while sex might sell, it apparently doesn’t appreciate. Personally I think it would be brilliant to buy it and put up a static page with pictures of kittens. That would confuse Google a bit, I’m sure. [valleywag]

live – every day – 1-click to tune in..

Don’t forget, if you rent a 2oceansvibe Villa when you come to Cape Town, you get to skip the queue at Caprice on Sunday nights.

Ja you heard me.

Good lord, it’s gonna be a schtoinker!

Mmm, leg-warmers. More of that.

And leotards.

Wear them and get hammered in your lumo clothing.

Neon rave sticks are allowed.

The guys behind the tune are none other than I Scream And The Chocolate Stix – the same guys who gave you the sensational online viral tune My Cape Town.

People LOVE that tune – including the likes of Helen Zille, I might add!

So anyway, we’ve had a number of requests for the lyrics of the Seth Song. And here theyt are – along with an online recording of the tune.

Press the orange play button below.

Enjoy!

So we wrote recently about Gordon Ramsay making an ever so slightly unceremonious exit from Cape Town, and specifically, the One & Only hotel.

Needless to say, The Big Bad Potty Mouth and his cronies are slightly upset about this. I mean, it must leave a little bit of a sting to be tossed out on your ass, for whatever reason.

And the reasons for his exit have been widely speculated, but we’re a little closer to the truth now that the legal dogs of war have been loosed.

It’s a little bit of a he-said-she-said affair, but Kerzner International says that Gordy’s contract was terminated after he failed to fulfill minor details, for example, like making it a successful restaurant.

That’s a pretty big one I think.

Anyhow, Gordon Ramsay Holdings (who most certainly DO f-bomb in their internal memos) are disputing the details of the contract, and the assertion that Gordon “Noticeably Absent” Ramsay breached it.

Oef, the small print can be quite tart, can’t it Gordon?

[Source : News24]

When Sol Kerzner enlisted the expertise of the man who is arguably the world’s most popular chef, Gordon Ramsay, he would have felt confident that the star food aspect of his monstrous V&A Waterfront hotel, the One and Only, was buttoned tight.

Gordon Effin’ Ramsay opened the five star Maze restaurant at the hotel, but alas, without the mouth-cannon himself in regular attendance at the restaurant (he has a number of other Maze branches dotted across the globe), the masses saw no particularly pressing reason to avail themselves of the establishment’s fine fare.

Combine that with a worldwide recession, and some pretty effing hectic debt, and we have what’s known in the restaurant biz as “closing down”. Bugger, Gord me old mate.

Apparently the One and Only restaurant will slot in its place.

How this man is in debt, I don’t know. It’s certainly not a lack of quality. TV executives from here to Singapore are lining up halfway around the block to do a line off this guy’s sunbed-browned derriere. He’s good at what he does.

Maybe it’s just a case of extending his reach too effin far, gettin his wings clipped by the laws of supply and demand, and all that jazz.

But if you can’t take the heat, Gordon, get the eff outta the kitchen, yeah?

Update: Apparently this story was broken by a Cape-based food blog, Spill, on Friday morning. They’ve got an update on the affair, including the details of the chef likely to take over the mantle from Gordy. Check it out.

[Source : DailyMail]

Not ideal – taking your overseas guests for a lunch and exposing them to a pair of balls on a sunny weekend.

Or your kids – let’s not forget about the kids out there.

Mark my words – in five years time the law will see this in the same light as flashing.

[thanks peter]

I remember when my all time favourite Caprice waitress, Justine, first described the Dreamy Burger to me. It was something to do with a slab of cheese on top of the meat, and then she began to describe how the hot mushroom sauce is then poured over that slab of cheese, melting it in the process. As she described this final stage of the preparation she actually lost her breath for a second, her eyes rolled back and her mouth opened and hung agape for a few moments. I swear to God – it was like something out of When Harry Met Sally .“Jesus,” I said, “get me one of those!”

So ja, that chick in the pic is not Justine, but she just wants to show you how mnandi that burger is. And she’s not even eating the Dreamy Burger – she’s eating another one and she is still close to having a double orgasm.

Oh my God – you said “orgasm!”

Go get your very own – in fact get 2 for the price of 1 – Mondays to Thursdays between the hours 12:30 – 22:00.

That said, if you have a burger for breakfast, you won’t get 2 for 1.

Which is fair enough.

They have an egg special, actually.

Not really – they don’t.

Let’s just stick to burger chat for now – ok?

Behold the latest viral ad to get cooked on their flame-frilled ovens. This time it’s targeted at Paris Hilton, following the marijuana skandaal in Pretoria last Friday.

If you can’t read the small print, it goes like this, “Whether it’s for lunch, supper or a case of the munchies, our flame-grilled Peri-Peri chicken is fuaranteed to hit the spot. And, with over 260 restaurants in South Africa, and restaurants in the States, you’ll be able to get your Nando’s fix from pretty much anywhere.”

Needless to say today’s Tuesday Tabs will feature Paris Hilton’s buddy, Jennifer Rovero who was caught smoking the joint and took the blame for Paris.

More on that later..stay tuned..

[thanks nick]

Rafa Takes Wimbledon

Nadal Wins Wimbledon – Well the poms will be horrified that Andy Murray didn’t win. They had better start putting pressure on him for next year’s Wimbledon ASAP! God forbid they don’t jinx him like they do every one of their sportsmen (I know – he’s Scottish – the irony etc.). The only team that does manage to get anything right are the cricketers – and half the bloody side is South African. [time]

Paris Hilton’s Buddy Given 14 Days To Leave South Africa – The South African government has given a former Playboy playmate and friend of US socialite Paris Hilton 14 days to leave the country, Home Affairs said on Saturday. This comes after Jennifer Rovero was caught in possession of marijuana at a World Cup game in Port Elizabeth on Friday. [mail&guardian]

Elin Woods Is Getting $100Million – It seems that prior claims of a $750Million divorce payout from Tiger Woods are slightly incorrect. Nonetheless, the more accurate figure of $100Million is not to be sneezed at. But once she has that cash, she cannot say a word. No Oprah, no book deal. Nothing. Shame.. [tmz]

Uruguay Striker, Luis Suárez, Claims “Hand Of God” – The Uruguay striker Luis Suárez has evoked Diego Maradona’s infamous goal against England in 1986, declaring “the Hand Of God now belongs to me” after he broke Ghana’s hearts and helped his side reach the World Cup semi-finals. [guardian]

Cristiano Ronaldo Is A Father – Real Madrid and Portugal winger, Cristiano Ronaldo has become the father of a baby boy, according to an announcement on his Twitter account. The 25-year-old, whose World Cup campaign came to and end this week when Portugal were knocked out by Spain, posted the announcement on both his Twitter and Facebook pages. [telegraph]

The Mel Gibson Tapes – It’s only a matter of days before we get to hear the tape that Mel’s ex is holding, which includes the quotes, “You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault” and “‘I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will blow me first.” And yes, there’s more.. [dailymail]

World Cup Trophy Made Of Cocaine – A replica World Cup trophy seized by anti-drugs police in Colombia is made out of cocaine, lab tests have confirmed. The 36cm (14in) statue was found in a delivery crate at Bogota airport. The crate was in an airmail warehouse waiting to be sent to an address in Spain. Very cunning, guys.. [bbc]

Two-Headed Calf Born In Egypt – An Egyptian farmer this week said one of his cows gave birth to a two-headed calf, after two hours of strenuous labor. The farmer, Sobhy el-Ganzoury, called it a “divine miracle.” The animal is expected to survive.El-Ganzoury is feeding milk to the calf with a baby bottle, and he told the AP that the animal is a reminder that “God is able to do anything.” [gawker]

Lady Gaga Hits 10 Million Friends On Facebook – Lady Gaga, the 24-year-old whose real name is Stefani Germanotta, became the first living person to have more than 10 million fans. By Sunday Lady Gaga had accumulated 10,333,791 fans, beating out strong contenders like President Obama, who had only 9,670,042 million. [nytimes]

Huffington Post Journalist Praises SA And “Ubuntu” – “I have been truly humbled on this trip. And while I have my gripes regarding development here, I cannot say one negative thing about how South Africa has handled its duties as host and hostess to the world. If I could say one thing to sum up being here during this once-in-a-lifetime experience, it would be that I’ve learned the value of Ubuntu.” [huffpo]

“The Chief” Needs Your Vote – True 2oceansvibers out there who are familiar with the 2oceansvibe Characters list, will know about “The Chief.” His real name is Simon and he is a close friend of mine who takes care of a number of villages in the Eastern Cape. His organisation “Village Corps” has made the shortlist of a NAU “Grant For Change” competition. Your vote can help send a much needed $10,000 grant in their direction. Come on, gang – it’s one click. [clickvotewhenyougetthere]

Joey Chestnut Wins Fourth Hot Dog Eating Title – Joey “Jaws” Chestnut won his fourth consecutive title at today’s 95th annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island, eating 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes. His arch-rival, and six-time champ, Takeru Kobayashi was arrested after the competition. Chestnut earns $150,000 a year from eating contests. [gawker]

Caprice Launches New Website – The original & most famous ‘Eat, Drink and Play’ venue in Cape Town, Café Caprice offers the ultimate hangout for a cool set looking to dine on delicious food, sip on sundowners and watch all top sporting events on one of our big screens, in one of the world’s most beautiful settings. [cafecaprice]

DJ Sasha in SA – Smirnoff, is at it again, bringing DJ Sasha to @tmospheer in Cape Town on Friday and will head north to Truth in Johannesburg on Saturday. For those who are still slightly nostalgic after Tiesto and Mashup Street, tickets can be bought through Computicket. Not for Sale to Persons Under the Age of 18. Drink Responsibly. Link for more information. [smirnoffexperience]

[thanks sean]
[photo source]

The Muse and I made the fatal error of getting breakfast at the Waterfront on Saturday morning. Why were we not at Miss K you ask, given that we were in the area? Good question, Aguado. Well, there were many reasons, not least of which was the fact that we had to pick up some gear at Puma (*cough* please enjoy my new Kehinde Wiley’s).

So we ended up grabbing breakfast at a place upstairs, who were not branded in any way to suggest a particular lifestyle/religion. It was only after we sat down, grabbed a coffee, opened the paper and ordered brekkie, that we were informed that they do not serve any pork products whatsoever. They had confirmed when we walked in that they do serve breakfast, but hadn’t divulged the fact that they did not serve bacon and, seemingly, someone’s religion had got in the way of our breakfast. Not that we have a problem with speciality restaurants and/or religions – we’d just like you to make it more clear in your branding. This simple gesture (verbal or maybe even a little symbol on the branding?) would have avoided ruining most of my morning.

Not surprisingly, if you Google the word “breakfast” and flip over to image results, the very first image (in the world, on Google), shows a plate with eggs and bacon. It looks like we aren’t the only people who assume the pig.

It was pretty much downhill from there as my R60 omelette (with ingredients I wouldn’t have normally chosen, as they didn’t have ham) tasted like my new Puma’s and The Muse’s poached eggs came with about a liter of water in the middle of the plate. If you had just arrived, you would have thought we were lounging next to a plunge pool.

But the crowning moment was, as usual, the toast.. (wait for it)

Why is this so difficult to make?

Are me and my family and my group of friends the only people in the world who yearn for hard toast? What is this bullshit obsession with bringing bread which has been singed on the outside and is still soft/floppy in the middle? Or 1mm thick (WTF?)! Are you joking, Cape Town? Seriously, am I being punk’d? What you have brought me is bread. If I wanted that I would have asked for it!

The joy of REAL toast is you can slice off a piece, hold it on your fork, and it is strong enough to carry some stuff on top of it – like the egg and (God forbid) bacon. But if it is soft then it won’t hold anything on top and the food will fall off.

And really, I don’t want to hear the reasons why the “toast” is like that (because it’s done under the grill etc etc.)

IT DOESN’T MATTER!

NO ONE CARES!

IT’S NOT TOAST!

YOU ARE TAKING THE PISS!

PLEASE STOP DOING IT!

YOU ASSHOLES!!!

Jesus, what is wrong with you people?

It’s eggs and bacon and toast I’m looking for, not Boeuf Bourguinon!

Pathetic.

1 X angel

After gathering up some of the country’s finest female specimens to represent the various soccer super teams visiting our country, a model shoot was staged at Café Caprice, choreographed by Brandnew Marketing in order to create a sexy 2010/11 desktop calendar.

The shoot was held in the upstairs section of the venue, in conjunction with a party throughout the rest of the café, which drew a crowd of epic proportion.

I popped in and noticed one of the angels was misbehaving. She agreed that a hiding was in order.

I know it looks like I’m overdoing it, but she was being naughty. Not that she seemed to mind..

Cafe Caprice desktop calendar which will be available for download from www.cafecaprice.co.za from 1 July, with a limited number printed for VIP’s.

x

They’ve got rooms for as low as R800 a night during the world cup, slap-bang in the middle of one of Cape Town’s most exclusive and fashionable areas – Kloof Street!

The Saasveld Lodge
Budget World Cup accommodation
in the heart of Kloof Street

You’ve got Hudson’s downstairs, you’ve got Woolworths and Wellness Warehouse over the road, and a Nando’s and vida e just 30 meters down the drag!

Shame, you poor thing!

Follow link for more pictures and information.

Very friendly

Neat and tidy – that’s all you want!

Plus, with the owner also being the owner of Caprice, I can guarantee you that you won’t have to queue when you go for a night out at Caprice!

No more queues at Caprice..

CLICK HERE for the Saasveld Lodge website and contact information.

By night STUDIO2010 is transformed into a VIP cocktail club hosting some of the best local and international DJ’s and one-off parties. Studio By Night launches on 10 June with the Grand Finale of the South African Playboy Bunny Search. Joining the gorgeous girls at this sizzling party is renowned Ibiza DJ, Sam Totolee. Sam is one of the most sought-after DJ’s on the celebrity circuit and has played for the likes of Uma Thurman, Kate Moss and Rod Stewart.

Click flyer to zoom in:

Click flyer to zoom in!
CLICK HERE for website

Joining Sam on Friday is 2oceansvibe’s favourite DJ Sox, one of South Africa’s best loved DJ’s, famous for his electrifying and crowd-pleasing sets. Saturday night is the first of a series of “Studio 2010 & Friends” showcasing the best local talent. The debut night will feature the blond bombshell DJ-act, the Digital Divas. The weekend party continues on Sunday with guest DJ Jeremy Behrmann accompanied by live sax and percussion. Jeremy is a regular highlight on the Cape Town clubbing scene.

STUDIO2010 is open daily from 12pm – 2am.

Check out www.studio2010.co.za

Hysterical!

Check out the fine print.

CLICK IMAGE to enlarge if you can’t read the small print

[thanks clinton]

Not a bad pay day..

Kelly Brook enjoys lions

Check it out:

She’s already got a Lion of her own in the form of England rugby star Danny Cipriani, but Kelly Brook’s experience with the real thing is probably a little limited. However, she seemingly took to juggling three lions at once with relative ease in a photoshoot for men’s magazine FHM.

Miss Brook, 30, took part in the shoot ahead of the World Cup, which kicks off this weekend. She was keen to show her support for the England team – with the iconic Three Lions a nod to the team, who are currently in training for the tournament in South Africa.

Kelly is also set to pose for Playboy later this year, after signing a half-a-million dollar deal. Her agent Jonathan Shalit told the Mail Online that Kelly was delighted to have been chosen. He said: ‘She’s absolutely thrilled. It’s such a great honour for her, especially when you think about the icons that have graced the cover of the magazine over the years.’

[read more]

That’s just great – well done, Kelly! You get, what we in the industry refer to as a “double thumbs up!”

If you want to see the video of Kelly modeling on Camps Bay beach, just follow the link..

First I popped in at Caprice to try out the 2oceansvibe cocktail:

Cafe Caprice on Google Maps “Street View”
Nice day they were having when they shot that!

Mmm, that was good!

Follow the link to see where else I went and also learn how to do this on your own computer or iPhone or iPad!

So off I went to Green Point to check out my Primary Residence, The Cape Royale Hotel.

Lookin’ good!

The Cape Royale Hotel
Seth’s Primary Residence

Here are some others:

“Miss K”, just a bit further down the road in the opposite direction
(same side of the road)

“Mabu Vinyl” – just opposite Kloof vida e (2 Rheede Street)

It’s so awesome!

Want to learn how to do it yourself? Ok..

HOW TO USE STREET VIEW YOURSELF:

Using a computer, Click here to go to Google Maps.

Type in an address in the box – eg. 53 Victoria road, camps bay, cape town.

Press Enter.

Click the little “A” symbol that appears:

Then click “street view.”

BANG! You’re “A” for “AWAY!”

If you’re on your iPhone or iPad, then simply click the “Maps” app (bottom right of below screenshot).

Then search for any address and, when you see the little man appear in the orange circle, click that little man!

And there you have it – you are cruising around Cape Town without moving an inch. Pretty much what you do anyway!

Aah yes, these are wonderful times. If you don’t have an iPhone or haven’t booked your iPad yet, be sure to zip over to Digicape and make it happen!

Your move, Blackberry people..

Check it out – they’re shooting a Caprice calendar (with these eight hot models representing various soccer teams, all wearing virtually eff-all) in the upstairs section of Cappers and AT THE SAME TIME they’ve got DJ duo “Crazy White Boy” absolutely murdering it on the decks, for this fully fledged Caprice party!

Here’s a sneak preview of two of the models they’ll be using for the calendar (click thumbnails to enlarge):

You know when you get to these parties and you wish you reserved a table? Well, why don’t you grow up and do just that? Book your table at info@cafecaprice.co.za

And if you just wanna go to the party, REALISE that it is invite only (you’re invited) and REALISE that you should RSVP to this invite to tammy@brandnewmarketing.co.za

That’s all you have to do – then your name will be on the door list.

It’s all very easy – you just have to remember to do it!

See you there!

GO!

Here is the breakfast section alone!

Oh yes!

I know – how radical is that?

But you must check out the rest of their menu. They’ve even got a wine list (yes, obviously De Grendel is on it!).

CLICK HERE for the new (full) Miss K menu!

CLICK IMAGES below for individual websites.

I’ve had tons of people tell me they have tried out this special.
If you haven’t yet – trust me, you need to do it..

This is where I send Elbe van der Merwe, when she behaves.
If you see her, ask her about it. It’s 100% glorious!

Personally I’ve had close on 500 massages at Equinox. It’s pretty much a wonderland of pamperrific excess and you need to go.

Mmm, you like that..

Not that we should forget the amusing bushes, glass of wine and 200 grams of the best rump or rib eye your taste buds have ever imagined. For the same price as you will be tipping car guards after the world cup. Such will be the norm following our European guests’ unintentional excessive custom during the tournament.

Put that steak inside your body..

Happy Birthday, Julius!
LET’S CELEBRATE!

Malema, at 29, claims eternal roots in poverty – Once poor, always poor, ANC Youth League president Julius Malema told several thousand people who gathered in Seshego outside Polokwane to celebrate his 29th birthday. Julius Malema was lauded as a comrade, a fighter, an anti-imperialist, protector of the aged and generally a guy with who you want to stay on good terms. Oh, and as the future president of the country. [dailymaverick]

SA’s Jordy Smith Cleans Kelly Slater – Ja, you see, that’s what I’m talking about. They said he was the next Kelly Slater, but that’s where they were wrong. Kelly Slater is the old Jordy Smith. Oooh, cheeky. Smith caused a major upset in Round 4 of the Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast yesterday, eliminating former nine-time ASP World Champion Kelly Slater (USA). This was first time they have been head to head and you are welcome to check out the video action here. [thebombsurf]

Man Shoots Two Officers Outside Pentagon – A man coolly and calmly approached the screening area outside the Pentagon Thursday evening and opened fire, grazing two Pentagon police officers before they returned fire, critically wounding him, officials said. As the officers started to ask him for his pass to get into the Pentagon, he drew a weapon from his pocket and started shooting immediately at the officers from a few feet away. Not ideal. [cnn]

Elin Is Moving Back With Toiger – On Wednesday, Elin and Tiger spent approximately three hours together at the house where they will once again live together. They were in the backyard, and at one point Tiger kissed Elin on the cheek three times and they hugged. Baby steps, I guess. Speaking of baby steps, can you imagine if a lovechild had to surface at this point? [radar]

Are the Glory Days Of Casual Sex Over? – The days of glorified casual sex are over…or are they? On the one hand, we haven’t seen Paris Hilton’s undies in years, raunchy Christina Aguilera married herself off and has been replaced by virginal Taylor Swift, and even “the fictional Carrie Bradshaw is wed and living a New York domestic fantasy,” writes Jessica Grose on Slate. As further proof of the backlash against casual sex, Grose points to quite a few recent memoirists dealing with “sex regret.” [newser]

Johnny Depp’s Partner Vanessa Forbids Angelina Jolie Film – Johnny Depp’s longtime gal pal, Vanessa Paradis, has no intention of joining the trail of brokenhearted Hollywood ladies left crying to Oprah Winfrey after Angelina Jolie stole their men. So when Vanessa Paradis found out her “Pirates of the Caribbean” stud and Jolie were to shoot a passionate love scene in their new movie “The Tourist,” she ordered Depp to find another gig. [nypost]

“Save My Baby!” (The Chicks Are Going To Eat This Story Up) – On January 30, two-month-old Maria Chan, of Brooklyn, was thrown from a third-story window by her parents in a bid to save her from an apartment fire. Barely two weeks later, the same surreal nightmare was repeated. There was seven-month-old Zaniyah Hewitt, of the Bronx, dangling out from a fifth-story window as smoke engulfed her. Unbelievably, both girls escaped alive, though only one of their mothers would survive… [dailybeast]

Jessica Simpson Feels ‘Betrayed’ by Mayer’s Sex Gossip – Oh God. Jessica Simpson is angry about John Mayer’s public boast that she’s “crazy” in bed. “I’m not angry,” Simpson, 29, said on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” today. “well, I’m a little bit angry …” When Winfrey asked why the pop singer was upset, Simpson replied, “Um … well, I don’t want people to know how I am in bed.” Umm, ja, the last thing you want people to hear is that you’re incredible in bed. It’s like that time everyone found out how large my penis is – that really was the end for me! [abc]

The Oscars Goodie Bag Is Off The Charts – You know those goodie bags that you get at “VIP” functions in Cape Town? I give most of it to Mavis and street children. That would not be the case if I was at the Oscars. Quietly enjoy a $45,000 safari, a $14,500 hotel stay in Monaco, personal training sessions, a Tiffany cat collar and more! Now that’s what I’m talking about. And I’ll tell you something else, that cat collar isn’t going on a cat… [fashionista]

Ancient Egyptian Queen Behenu’s Burial Chamber Unearthed – French archaeologists announced Wednesday the discovery outside Cairo of the burial chamber of a mysterious queen from Egypt’s Old Kingdom more than 4,000 years ago. The necropolis of Saqqara outside Cairo has yielded a string of new discoveries as 10 different teams excavate a previously untouched area of these burial grounds were used continuously for more than 2,000 years until Roman times. Sick! [huffers]

Café Caprice and Jameson Host Red Carpet Retro Party This Sunday- It’s kind of like an Oscar party, you could say. So dust off your Hollywood Glam, prepare your acceptance speech, make sure you know your good side and get down to Cafe Caprice to celebrate being nominated as one of the chosen few! Sunday night, 6pm. Dress: Hollywood Glam. [cafecaprice]

Cosmo Sex Survey Coming Along Beautifully – Cosmopolitan.co.za launched its second sex survey for its growing online audience and this year the survey delves a little deeper into the sexual habits of the Cosmo reader. Even more creative than last year, this year’s survey asks readers whether the current political climate in the country affects their sex lives and whether they filmed their bedroom escapades. Just wait till you see the Jacob Zuma question towards the end! [cosmosexsurvey]

Barbie By Christian Louboutin – Barbie continues to take the fashion world by storm and thanks to haute accessories designer Christian Louboutin, she’s just received a second head-to-toe Parisian makeover. Dressed in a khaki, safari- inspired dress and over the knee, hot pink fringed boots, Barbie is ready to Spring into style this season. Barbie revealed her first outfit in the Christian Louboutin collection last November, the Cat Burglar. [luxuo]

Georgia Parents Trade Sex With Daughter For Used-Car Payments – From the America Has Devolved Even Further And Now We Want To Go Live In A Cave Department: The two parents in the case, both 36 years old, had a history of drug use and abuse. They bought the car, a 1998 Dodge minivan, in March of 2008, proceeded to not make a single payment, and then forced their daughter (14) to have sex with their dealership’s 66-year-old manager. [jalopnik]

Lindsay Lohan Takes It Off For Purple – Terry Richardson did the shoot for the new issue of Purple magazine. Just to remind you, her last major shoot featured Lindsay Lohan topless in Muse magazine, and Terry Richardson is the guy that shot Miranda Kerr topless in the Pirelli Calendar. That’s probably why the result has quite a bit of bra and bum action. [egotastic]

[thanks jase, styli]

This is the vibe we went for:

Oh my goodness look at this! Kirsten and Lee Ann, our little spunks from Miss K Food Cafe in Green Point (next to our primary residence, The Cape Royale) are up for an important accolade! It’s the News24 Sizzling Hot Chefs competition, and 2oceansvibe is 100% behind them!

Seriously gang, you know how the vibe works – it takes care of people that deserve looking after. And world-class food aside, these girls aren’t the hardest on the eye which, as far as I can see, is the point of this competition!

You’ll never believe who won… Oh, did the headline give it away?

So why don’t you just stop what you’re doing right now and give yourselves a round of applause, because Miss K won the whole thing and are now, officially, the most sizzling hot chef’s in Cape Town!

Kirsten and Lee Ann
Can keep drinking..

Well done Kirsten and Lee Ann!

And well done to all the 2oceansvibers out there for ensuring the vibe remains cool and victorious at all times!

Be sure to visit Miss K if you haven’t already. It’s just to the right of my residence, The Cape Royale Hotel , Main Road, Green Point.

Check out the full results of the Hot Chefs competition here.

The Grand

Good reviews and a smattering of issues to do with service, did the rounds in Cape Town, allowing The Grand to take their recipe for success one step further, with the launch of The Grande Café & Beach, A Nikki Beach / Blue Marlin style concept on the rocks in Granger Bay.

Whilst there certainly is a want for such an establishment, one wonders if this may have been a bit premature? And when I say premature, I am referring to the service complaints that were not fully addressed (fixed) at The Grand in Camps Bay. The result seems to be a brand spreading itself a bit thin over two Cape Town locations, resulting in a spiraling backlash from Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard and beyond.

The emails I have received over the couple months from 2oceansvibe readers about the service at The Grand (both Camps Bay and Granger Bay) and the nightmares when it came to booking and getting a table were gaining momentum, as I found myself waiting over an hour to get a booked table the other night. We arrived at 7 and ate at 10.

Then I got this from a well-heeled Clifton friend who mixes in very glamorous circles:

Just been wondering what you think of the service / booking at the Grand on the beach? I had a very kak experience with them last weekend which left me feeling rather cross. Anyone else had complaints?

I wanted it to go away because the image was so appealing. But that’s all it was. I tried so hard to pretend it wasn’t happening – but the noises were too great. And then I stumbled upon this, the latest complaint (this last weekend) I found at LivingStylishlyWell :

The Grand Restaurant – a blight on the Camps Bay landscape

Read the entire article here.

I’ll give you the closing paragraphs for now:

Thoroughly exasperated at this stage we went downstairs to the lower level to pay and saw Theo again. We asked if the very least he could do was not to either say ’sorry, give us a coffee or horror of horrors ‘comp’ us the meal’.

Theo’s answer? ‘I think you should leave, this has never happened before.’

We left. Never, ever to return again.

Compare this to a great breakfast at the Sandbar, superb service and vibe at Caprice and amazing value and vibe at Bayside Cafe (all on the strip, all competing with one another). In the next issue of Cape Odyssey, I’ll be talking again about two restaurants which have raised the bar in 2010 – Marianas and Heaven.

The Grand? I hear the rustling of feathers as post-World Cup chicken, prepare to come home to roost.

They will deserve it.

Dear friends and readers – avoid. 7Eleven sandwiches will leave you feeling much happier with life.

[more here]

(And here’s yet another article on another blog called Jamie Who.)

It’s too loud now. The noise. We can’t ignore it any longer. I’m afraid the “teething problems” time period has lapsed. This is now, quite simply, a problem.

Have you tried out the new Grand? Have you had service issues at either Grand?

Do let us know – and hopefully the owners will have the good sense to address it. Make no mistake, we want it to work. If, however, you have had only pleasant times, go ahead and let us know.

I would be celebrating and popping the champagne, if the news came as a surprise. But it doesn’t. I mean, is it wrong to expect these kind of accolades from 2oceansvibe brands and sponsors? Are we not perhaps numbed by the success of the associated brands and advertisers and people on 2oceansvibe? Brands and products and people that fall within the 2oceansvibe culture and mindset of good service combined with coolness and an understanding of what is fair and right, with no red tape to be seen? Is that really so amazing? Please, give me a break – that shit comes standard around these parts.

Check it out, this from my primary residence, the Cape Royale hotel:

The Cape Royale Luxury Hotel and Residence, Green Point, Cape Town, South Africa, is proud to announce that it has been selected as the Overall Winner of the TripAdvisor Travelers’ Choice award for Best Luxury Hotel in Africa.

The award winners are selected based on the millions of reviews and opinions from travelers on tripadvisor.com. Cape Royale Luxury Hotel has been awarded the Best Luxury Hotel in Africa, in the eighth annual TripAdvisor Travelers Choice Awards. 95% of the travelers who reviewed Cape Royale recommended staying at the hotel. TripAdvisor attracts more than 36 million visitors every month.
The Cape Royale is thrilled with the achievement, having only opened in 2008. Boasting 95 luxury suites right in the heart of Green Point.

The Cape Royale Luxury Hotel and Residence is also the recent Overall Winner of the Luxury Hotel Award, in the ‘All Suite’ category at the World Luxury Hotel Awards 2009, which were held at the world renowned Lebua at State Tower Hotel in Bangkok, Thailand on the 27 November 2009. Award winners set the benchmark for luxury establishments in achieving recognition for their world class facilities and service excellence.

Commenting on the Award the Managing Director of Cape Royale Luxury Hotel and Residence, Mr. Nathan Schmidt said, “This is not just an outstanding achievement for our entire team after just two years in business, but confirmation that world class hotel accommodation is available in Cape Town in the run up to the World Cup. Coming on top of our recent selection by distinguished Preferred Hotels as their first Super Luxury hotel in South Africa, this has been a memorable few weeks for all our staff”.

Nice.

Those of you who have stayed in the Cape Royale hotel, in my suite or any other, will agree there is something about the Cape Royale that the others just don’t “get.” That’s probably why more and more people are having their meetings at The Cape Royale – let alone staying at the place.

I’ll tell you something else pretty unique about The Cape Royale. They’ve got a concierge service that will blow your mind. Headed up by Ryan Van Zyl – he happens to be one of only three genuine concierges in South Africa! Ie. the Cape Royale hotel has one of only three genuine concierges in South Africa (there are only 3,000 in the world).

Hotel concierge staff have their own professional association, called Les Clefs d’Or (“The Golden Keys”). It was formed in France in October 1929 and you will see those very keys on Ryan’s jacket lapels.

Ryan is obsessed with being the best concierge and he completely and utterly nails it – and then some. There is simply no task too complex or difficult – and that, my friends, is what I’m looking for. It’s what you’re looking for and it’s the reason why you are here at 2oceansvibe and the reason why we hang out at the Cape Royale and Caprice and HQ and Caveau and Miss K – because it’s safe – we know what we’re getting and we just want to carry on being ourselves and not worry about whether or not the place we’re at is going to get it right.

I do it all for you, I hope you know that…

I gotta be honest, it doesn’t get much easier to find deals around Cape Town. My boys at www.nobucks.co.za have absolutely NAILED IT with their website which documents where and when various booze and food specials are going on around Cape Town. I simply clicked today’s date and it gave me a list of various promotions running at different establishments around the Mother City.

These are tough times, my friends – don’t be shy to box smart..

www.nobucks.co.za

Go to www.nobucks.co.za and click the calendar and scroll through the list. It really is disgusting how easy they’ve made it! Something inside me tells me that it shouldn’t be this easy.

But we’ll just ignore that vibe.

You’ll see the 2oceansvibe logo while you’re there. That’s because the service they are providing encourages the art of “Living The Holiday.”

Get in there.

Enjoy it.

About 250 of you caught the two hour live video streaming broadcast we did from the wooden jail cell at the V&A Waterfront, in which Bob is serving a self-imposed jail sentence.

Why is he doing it, you ask?

Good question, Aguado…

Basically, Bob is involved in a fundraiser for his BobsForGood charity which aims to give shoes to every child in underpriviledged communities. This is done via their schools and with the assistance of the likes of the Minister of Education. And, more importantly, YOU.

I dropped some of my own loot into the bin, as I experienced only a snippet of what life must be like for him over this next week.

Seth does his bit for BobsForGood

Not that I came even close to the full vibe he is dealing with. Think about his time alone at night in that little wooden cell. Are you aware that the Waterfront cleaners come in around 23h30 every night and go ballistic until around 5am? They sing and vacuum and gaan-aan and aren’t even shy to blast the odd vuvuzela – which they’re allowed to do because there are normally no customers in the centre during those hours. That’s just how they roll!

And we’re not even beginning to get into the freaks that he has to deal with. You know what I’m talking about. The wieeeerdo’s!!

Luckily I brought him a box of goodies from Miss K to keep him going!

Visit him in the V&A Waterfront’s Barrow Court any time until the 20th of February where you can make a pledge.

The public can give Bob’s team a call on 0861 00 BOBS

Or to send an EFT, Bob’s foundation bank account is called ‘bobsforgood’
Standard Bank Mowbray
Branch No: 024909
Account No: 075 221 381

Seriously gang, you know how the vibe works – it takes care of people that deserve looking after. And world-class food aside, these girls aren’t the hardest on the eye which, as far as I can see, is the point of this competition!

That’s why we simply ALL have to get behind the girls and give them our vote. And I can promise you something right now, it will take you LITERALLY two clicks. There is no registration process. It really is just TWO CLICKS!

Kirsten and Lee Ann
Get hammered on champagne

All you have to do is CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR THEM and then, on the next page that loads up, simply click the word “SIZZLING” under their picture.

Then you’re done! Seriously, there is nothing more to do. Very easy.

Do it now. Do it for 2oceansvibe. Keep the vibe alive!

CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR THEM and then, on the next page that loads up, simply click the word “SIZZLING” under their picture.

1800 Restaurant
Doesn’t mess around when it comes to steaks

They offer a range of succulent signature steaks, delectable meat dishes and shellfish. Their grill prepares the meat at a temperature of 1800° Fahrenheit (hence the name). The result is moist, tender, melt-in-your-mouth steak, accompanied by a wide variety of mouth-watering sauces from around the world.

Sound good? Ja well this will sound pretty good as well.

Check it out, they’re having a radical Rib-Eye steak promotion!

18hundreddegrees.com

I chow at 1800 a helluva lot, and assure you this is NOT to be missed! A meal like that with a little starter and glass of premium red thrown in should be going for nearly twice that price.

(Not that we should let our date know!)

The first step is obviously to recognise it – to realise that “the vibe” may be on. This usually comes in the form of a visual clue. There is normally a lot of blue in these clues to which I refer.

For example, I first realised the vibe was on today, as I drove down to Vida e in Camps Bay this morning to grab a coffee.

I glanced to my left and noticed this:

Camps Bay’s exclusive “Bali Bay” neighbourhood

You get the idea?

I know, sometimes you don’t know what is going on, until later – when you realise that a killer day was staring you right in the face.

So there it was, the visual clue I was looking for. “Hello,” I thought to myself, “it looks very much to me like the “vibe” is on!

Right there, I was beginning to “feel the vibe,” as it were.

We had a wonderful prawn couple in Vida e this morning. Clip-clop-clip-clop walking all funny on their awkward little shoes, with their spandex all over, balls hanging out, helmets on indoors. A wonderful scene it was.

When good prawns go bad

Then I popped in at my buddy’s place he is building in Camps Bay. It’s nearly finished and is right at the front of Camps Bay. It’s a development – you can find out more about it here at pod.co.za. It’s got a number of rooms or “pods” as he calls them. Check out that website, it’s fucking awesome.

This is the view in the main suite at the top:

Fine..

Shame, ja, it’s going to be very kak when it’s finished.

So anyway, on to lunch it was, at Caprice with The Dude, as we discussed what the next step would be. That’s when we remembered, what we refer to as, “the watch game.” It’s when you turn the outside dial of your watch and set the zero to where the minute hand is, and you lie on the beach until it goes the whole way around. Just to see how long it takes. Some people call it “an hour,” but we call it “the watch game.”

“The Dude” ponders his next move

For the uninitiated, that’s Caprice with the red roof above the sand.

That’s the Atlantic Ocean, right there.

And that was that, really. We swam twice and lay right there and watched the minute hand of my watch go around full circle. Which it did. It went quite quickly – faster than normal it seemed.

But is was more than enough. I knew I should get back to the Safe House and let you know about all of this. You know, just in case you’re at your desk or in London. I want you to understand how important it is for you to make work a sideline and for you to live the holiday.

So here I am, back at Le Safe House.

Boom!

Are you feeling the vibe today?

But enjoy this, 11 years earlier it cost 40c!

Or try a three-egg omelette for 60c – gimmie a break!

Take a trip down memory lane and recall your road-trips with the family – when you used to go “up-country” to visit your relatives.

Wimpy was part and parcel..

This, from 1983:

Click image to enlarge

Then wind the clock even further back to 1972. I was still dead then. they had a five year plan ready for my birth at that stage. The stars were still busy “aligning” as the old druids tell me.

   
Click image to “super-size” the menu

Jesus, do you REMEMBER those “banana boats?” Hectic.

And what is a “bender” salad? Weren’t people meant to be very homophobic in those days?

Wow – very welcoming of them, I thought..

340ml are playing tonight – apparently it’s gonna be “off the chain.”

Zebra & Giraffe on Friday (don’t tell The Muse, she’ll pee herself), DJ Fresh on Saturday and loads more.

Oh, and Ard Matthews from Just Jinjer is on the 22nd! Hating that! Maybe David Raad can plug in a mic and sing along?

Click flyer to enlarge the vibe.

Check:

CAFÉ CAPRICE LINES UP 10 OF THE BEST SA ARTISTS TO EASE YOU INTO THE NEW YEAR WHEN THE HAVANA CLUB AUTHENTIC SESSIONS KICKS OFF ON THURSDAY 7 JANUARY 2010.

Since opening its doors in 2001 Café Caprice in Camps Bay has become an institution in Cape Town. The sea side café has become known not only for its sensational sunsets and beach glam crowd that descend upon the venue daily, but also for bringing some of the finest local and international DJs and music producers to Camps Bay.

The impressive list of international artists is spearheaded by the legendary Richard Dorfmeister of Kruder & Dorfmeister and more recently Tosca fame. Dorfmeister, who has performed at Café Caprice in 2008 and 2009 also took on the creation of Café Caprice’s second compilation which was released in March 2009 to high acclaim. Other international artists that have appeared include downbeat supremo’s Mo’Horizons and the dons of Deep House, Harley & Muscle who have made the trip from Milan to Camps Bay on more than one occasion.

This year Café Caprice introduces a new musical concept that is set to become an annual event that is not to be missed. The Havana Club Authentic Sessions will see 10 of South Africa’s finest bands and DJs take to the decks to play a set of music that has inspired them through their careers and offers listeners an insight into their musical roots.
“It’s a collection of artists putting together a compilation of music that quite simply would not be heard anywhere else”, says David Greenberg, co-owner of Café Caprice. “

The line-up includes artists that hail from diverse genres that include rock, electronic music and dub. All sets in the schedule will be played at Café Caprice from 7pm to 9pm, the full schedule is included below:

Thursday 7 January 2010: Arno Carstens
Friday 8 January 2010: Flash Republic
Saturday 9 January 2010: The Dirty Skirts

Thursday 14 January 2010: 340ml
Friday 15 January 2010: Zebra & Giraffe
Saturday 16 January 2010: DJ Fresh

Wednesday 20 January 2010: Craig de Sousa
Thursday 21 January 2010: Roger Goode
Friday 15 January 2010: Art Matthews (Just Jinger)
Saturday 16 January 2010: Jon Savage (Cassette)

Entry to Café Caprice for each of the DJ sets listed above is free of charge but table bookings are recommended by calling the venue on (021) 438 8315.

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

I’m gonna try do as many as possible, but the chances of NOT going on the 22nd are pretty slim…

Well done, Cappers – great vibe!

And the second is this, the launch of 2oceansvibe Villas – Cape Town’s finest selection of holiday accommodation and villa and apartment rentals throughout the year. This, naturally, allows the second part of the slogan to come true – “Live the holiday!”

With over 200 listings online, whether you’re looking for something small to be used as a base, or something grand and extravagant to share with family and friends, we have it all.

CLICK HERE for 2oceansvibe Villas

2oceansvibe takes pride as one of Cape Town’s most well-loved and trusted brands – a brand which has been built over the the last eight years. A brand synonymous with Cape Town and a brand which represents the good life, good times and above all, trust and integrity.

2oceansvibe Villas is the premier vacation rental provider on Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard. All of our properties are exclusively managed and controlled, and we handle every aspect of our guest’s stay, from the first email through to the final check-out. Your personal hospitality consultant will take care of your reservation, and will be on hand to personally welcome you to your property in Cape Town, and will be at your service for the duration of your stay, to help ensure that you get the most out of your Cape Town vacation.

Because that’s how you roll..

For those of you who have followed Seth and 2oceansvibe.com over the last eight years, you will not need to be convinced of the extreme levels of service and standards that would need to be reached before allowing a particular villa to be presented to you and rental agent to engage with you.

I’ll tell you something else. Because we only do things when they can be done properly, you should know that the backend system behind the 2oceansvibe Villas website is one of the most sophisticated in the world. The system even allows for real-time availability checks (previously unheard of!) and pin-point locators on Google Maps and Google Earth!

Book your stay in Cape Town with 2oceansvibe Villas, and experience a private, relaxing and pampered holiday in South Africa. The kind of holiday that Seth Rotherham would expect.

Our team can’t wait to welcome you to your dream holiday.

See you at Caprice!

In the meantime, check out www.2oceansvibevillas.com and get lost in the selection of awesome Cape Town Holiday villas!

*Please note that 2oceansvibe Villas is run as a completely separate division to the original 2oceansvibe.com. Any contact that needs to be made with regards to accommodation rentals in Cape Town and anything to do with 2oceansvibe Villas, should be made via the contact information on the 2oceansvibe Villas website www.2oceansvibevillas.com.

But let’s not go on about “boosting” numbers and “breaking records” – I just thought that I would show you the ELLE interview, now that the magazine is sold out.

BANG!

Click image to enlarge..

CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE TO READING SIZE
FEEL IT INSIDE YOU

Good times. Did you know about my “C-TAP” nickname?

It’s funny.. I regularly get into what pot-smokers describe as a “zone” during interviews and, when published, I often don’t remember what I said at the time.

My favourite answer would have to be the one about the dolphins. That really made me chuckle.

And howz that pic of me and my labrador? Her name was Katie.

KAAATIE, KATIE, KATIE, KATIE, KATIEEEEEEE!

FOOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIEEEES!!!!

Olympia Café in Kalk Bay.
Enter on the corner.

“Hi! What is your name?”

“Seth”

“How many people?”

“Two”

She writes “Seth X 2″ on a little white board next to the front door. The place was full, including all types, from wealthy deer-in-the-headlights foreigners, to artsy-fartsy why-wash? “hey, bro, chill” locals. The waiting list had about seven names on it, with their corresponding humans loitering in and around the front door.

The list..

“How long do you think it will take?” I asked, clearly not entirely used to the concept of queuing and/or waiting.

“I’m not entirely sure,” the waitress responded, “20, maybe 30 minutes. But it will be worth it, I promise you. It’s the best food you’ll ever taste in your life.”

No spice…that was exactly what she said to us. And she meant it, I could tell. You just can’t buy that kind of passion, and for a staff member to sing such genuine praise of their workplace, you simply have to stop and take a look. Or rather, a bite.

I was more than happy to wait *cough* to a certain extent. We went to the restaurant next door, ordered a Coca-Cola each, and flipped through the newspaper. The stress of not being able to watch the entrance of Olympia (we walked over every five minutes to check on the progress), combined with the lack of weed that morning (I had run out and it was a Sunday – the holy grail of weed days) had rendered me quite fidgety. I went for a stroll outside, hoping to find what I was looking for.

Surrounding Kalk Bay – very chilled..

This shouldn’t be too hard, right? I mean it was Kalk Bay, after all!

I strolled into the bakery around the corner and sized up the staff, as I pretended to admire the pies on display. The pies looked amazing, I must admit, but I had ore important things on my mind. None of the staff had signs saying “weed dealer” stuck to the foreheads, so I headed back to home base.

That’s when I spotted these fellows..

Hmm..that hat tells a tale..

Whilst being most proficient in the creation of decorative wire lions and chameleons, it seems our friends were also able to point me in the right direction. You know, with regards to the problem I was facing. R20, pre-rolled and possibly the best majat I have ever experienced, is all I have to say about that!

Our table was ready, and so was a bottle of dry white. I don’t know what it’s called but it’s more than fine, as I downed my first glass of wine and ordered the mussels.

“We’re out of mussels,” our waitress responded.

“Oh sweet Jesus,” I mumbled to myself as The Muse asked if she was sure.

We were sitting quite near the kitchen and the one cook leant over to our waitress and said something in Kalk Bay language.

“Aha. Ja. Really? That’s great news!” the waitress squealed. “Some new mussles have just arrived and will be cooked in about ten minutes. They’re just washing them in the back!”

I liked what I was hearing. In ten minutes time I would be eating mussels which were, not 30 minutes ago, clinging for dear life to a rock somewhere in the ocean. Aah, the joys of being man! Thank you very much, my little mollusc.. I’ll be having you now. In a creamy sauce, if you don’t mind!

I took in the ambience of the place which presents a scene littered with mismatched chairs, random artwork and people – either drooling as they wait for their meals, or lost in a world of pleasure as they feed on their nosh.

And then it happened..

BANG!

Oh my God – there they are…

Needless to say all manners went out the window, as we literally attacked the bowl of mussels and the orgasmic sauce they’re served in – stealing moments between every second or third mouthful to down some more wine. We got pretty creative trying different combinations – a spoon full of just the sauce progressed to a spoon full of the sauce plus a naked mussel. Then it was the bread (don’t even get me started on the bread) on it’s own drowned in the sauce, which led to the bread drowned in the sauce with a naked mussel folded in between. The options were endless. My god… it was heaven!

There was absolutely nothing left at the end, except for empty shells and the feeling that we had done something illegal. Pre-rolled joint aside, that’s how good it was – it felt illegal.. And as with most illegal things, I can’t stop thinking about them. I want them them all the time.

I had been to Olympia Cafe before, a year or so ago, and that was for breakfast. I remember it blowing my mind then and can’t wait to give it another bash.

But for now, I’m so glad I’ve finally gone and done the mussels.

I sincerely hope you’ve done the same. And if you don’t like mussles (weird) then order ANYTHING else. It’s all amazing – FACT!

Olympia Café
134 Main Road
Kalk Bay
Ph. 021 788-6396.

Speaking of which, The Big H has just returned to London and remarked (electronically) at the current weather situation in the capital. My goodness – I was not aware. It would be best to place them (Cape Town and London’s weather reports) side-by-side, to fully understand the contrast our boy is experiencing.

Sorry, did you say MINUS 4?

Not to distract us from this week’s Tuesday Tabs – simply food for thought. Or rather another opportunity for us to pat ourselves (again) on the backs for landing with our arses squarely in the butter here in Cape Town.

Speaking of butter, Luba Shumeyko has featured before on 2oceansvibe’s esteemed Tuesday Tabs list. Quite early on, I might add – Tuesday Tabs Number 7!

That was more than three years ago and came shortly after The Chief and I escaped Cape Town for a weekend of booze, weed and books in Misty Cliffs. That was followed by the realisation that famous naked photographer Petter Hegre‘s WIFE, Luba, and her twin sister Nadya, had been filmed by Peter Hegre in that very house! It’s a famous 2oceansvibe story which some of the old faithful remind me of from time to time.

That rich 2oceansvibe heritage, combined with the fact that her sister Nadya now LIVES in Cape Town, has left me with no choice but to feature Luba as the first Tuesday Tabs angel of 2010.

I’m sorry, but I you have left me with no option..

Click image for higher res, slightly NSFW, version

Thanks Randall, I’ll take it from here..

I wouldn’t say her husband is “out of line” for claiming that Luba has the most perfect body in the world. Seriously, he does. All the time.

It may well be up for discussion, but I certainly wouldn’t go out of my way to call him a “liar.”

She’s in the runnings, I’ll tell you that much..

I tell you what, between Apple products and these guys, life couldn’t be easier.

David, the owner of Caprice gave me no option but to attend a party at Caprice on Saturday night last week. And off I went. Or rather, the crew and I were fetched in one of those ridiculously over-the-top limos with neon lights inside and lazers and DVD screens. In a word?…ludicrous.

Very kak sunset that night..

Keep on rolling baby, you know what time it is..

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t fun. Make no mistake, it’s in another league to the ones they use for matriek balls – with dried body fluids knotting the deep pile carpets. No, no – this one was good clean fun! So we got out of the thing at Caprice and there were camera’s and microphones and all sorts of shit. I think there was also a red carpet. What exactly was going on, I don’t know. Something to do with Jamesons. Either way, we got a stunning table in the 20′s (know your Caprice table numbers, people) and the booze arrived.

The booze was consumed and more came. I stretched out my arm to show Hanneli a photograph on my iPhone and….whoops, the motherfucker fell into an ice bucket. An ice bucket with melted ice in it..

i.e. water. (sometimes you have to spell it out)

Photo taken just before the incident
We were marveling at that angel’s short jean pant.
We approved..

Now you know when there is an emergency and someone is about to die and everyone in the room freezes? Ja, it was like that. I whipped it out and started shaking it.

WATER was coming out of it.

“MY CHIIIIILD!!!!” I screamed, looking up to the heavens, arms outstretched.

“Oh, Jesus, God noooooo,” I pleaded, as The Muse rubbed my back, explaining to those around that whathadjusthappened was very much equal to the loss of a loved one. To me.

I drank the pain away and the next day I called Digicape, who told me what I knew already – about the guys that operate in secret, somewhere near to Mabu Vinyl . They have to be near to Mabu Vinyl, because Mabu Vinyl is where you deliver the thing AND where you pick it up – virtually ALWAYS fixed. I remember using them once before for an iPod which had a dead battery.

No-one SEES these people that fix the things. All you get is an invoice at the end from “iFix iPod Repairs.” Their logo is an oldschool iPod (chunky) with “iFix” on the screen.

I lOVE that vibe. They’re holed up inside some kind of Safe House nearby, where all they do is fix iPods and iPonies and anything that starts with an “i.” There are rumours that they use a team of abused Cambodian children who have no other option but to fix iPods. Apparently they live on memory chips, so it all kind of works out fine. But no-one has photographic evidence, so it can’t be true.

Either way, it’s very cool.

So anyway, let’s get back to the story. Let’s look at this in order of events..

I dropped the iPhone into the ice bucket on Saturday night.

On Sunday the screen was blank and it had dried a bit. I plugged it into my very sexual Macbook Pro, looking for a miracle and SOMEHOW the Macbook managed to talk to the iPhone and it synchronised…

I don’t know exactly what it did, but I took the iPhone to these guys on Monday.

I hacked my way through the week with your classic “piece of shit” phone and then, on Thursday, I got an email telling me it was FIXED. It had to be completely wiped as well but, you know, collateral damage is a reality.

Very naughty.

I picked it up on my way to the Invictus premiere which I attended with The Adventurer (Ryan Scott) who stars in the movie as ex-Springbok Brendon Venter. Whatever, you know – standard stuff. Big Tommy Boyd was there. What a beautiful man.

I left home with my laptop and, on my way to the movie premiere, the phone and the laptop made love.

They had a little baby and the baby was IDENTICAL to the one I thought I had lost. EVERYTHING was there. The contacts, the calendar, the photos, the music. Absolutely everything. Even the front screen wallpaper was there.

And here’s proof that everything is back to normal. Taken tonight. Morgan Freeman, throwing a very cool vibe at the premiere..

Morgs – going for it.

And that was that!

Oh, the movie?

Very good. Watch it. Trust me. I got quite into and even, dare I say, emotional.

And for anything to do with fixing you iPod, check out their website www.ifixipods.co.za for contact details etc.

A quick video wouldn’t hurt.

Check it out:

Some of you would have already caught that on 2oceansvibe’s Twitter feed.

I filmed that with my iPhone 3Gs (courtesy of DigiCape) and uploaded it to Flickr and “tweeted” about it ALL whilst on the beach.

This is where I sat, as The Surfer mozeez out of the water..

Look, I’ll admit, it was pleasant..

CLICK HERE to see all the other pics taken today on the 2oceansvibe FLICKR feed, including criminal photographs of Clifton this morning, as well as Caprice for lunch etc.

Not to mention a photo of the new range of NoMU Foods stock that is blowing people away. I got that after having dinner at the owner of NoMU’s place last night. I don’t want to tell you what the food was like because your laptop might explode (paella..), but it makes sense that NoMU is South Africa’s most loved spices and rubs and grinders and hot chocolate and God knows what else! Thanks, guys -

Seriously, just grow up.

CLICK HERE for pics of today..

Caprice regulars will know Tanique and how well she smiles and how expertly she carries cocktails around. But now she’s going for a whole new vibe, as she has made the cut for the 2010 FHM Top 100.

Those of you who don’t know her needn’t worry – because this is all you need to know for now.

BOOM! That’s what 20 looks like, my boet!
CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR TANIQUE!  

Sorry, you were saying?

Look, instead of standing there with your jaw on the floor, why don’t you make yourself useful and get a toothpick for Tanique – she’s clearly got something stuck in her toef.

Good heavens!

Do the right thing, gang, and give the vibe 20 seconds of your time.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR TANIQUE!

Do it for 2oceansvibe.

Do it for Caprice.

[thanks antoinette]

Mombasa Cafe – Cavendish Square

An excerpt from the article which I wrote LIVE, on location:

Not that I was going to judge them for being empty. The only waiter in the establishment welcomed me as I chose a seat, suggesting he brings me a lime and soda with the menu.

I opened up my divine little Sony Vaio laptop as the drink arrived.

My SHOCKING toasted chicken mayonnaise experience at the Kelvin Grove pool on Friday (where I chilled before getting ready to watch Rupert Mellor and the Thunderbirds in the Kelvin Grove ballroom) had left me yearning for a decent variation, so I gave my order to the waiter.

“Toasted chicken mayo on wholewheat please with chips. Please also bring some cheap white vinegar, Tabasco sauce and a Hansa.” (They didn’t have Jack Black).

“We don’t have Tabasco sauce,” came the reply.

“Chrrrrrist, are you fucking serious?”

“Yes Sir”

“Must I go and buy some for you?” I asked.

“Heh heh,” he laughed nervously. “Can we make you some fresh chilli?”

“Yes,” I said. “I won’t use it but I want you to make it as punishment.”

Off he went to put in the order, as I decided to write this article. The beer never arrived as our boy fucked off out of the restaurant for over 10 minutes. I kept an eye on the bar to see when the beer would appear so that I could fetch it myself.

Freak Show came back and I asked him how the beer was looking. “Oh shit” came the reply as he sprinted to the till, realising he had forgotten to put the beer order in. Bearing in mind that I was and STILL AM the only person in the restaurant. WHAT a fucking knob-end!

He brought the beer and the food which was fine, I suppose.

Whilst I was eating I heard a discussion between him and the barman where he mentioned, somewhat surprised, that La Scala and MOST of the other restaurants in Cavendish Square were full.

Yes, my love, they are full.

And I am still the only person in your restaurant.

I wonder why.

I’m not saying the reason is because you don’t have Tabasco sauce – but I’m quite sure it’s helping your quest for zero turnover.

Good bye.

And now, more than a year later, the owners of the establishment GOOGLED their restaurant and found the aforementioned article.

So, firstly, a big welcome for the owners to 2009 and the internet in general. Welcome aboard!

This was their belated email response which came in this weekend (CAPS LOCK ATTACK warning):

From: Pat Pryce-Fitchen
Date: 01 November 2009 12:31:16 PM SAST
To: editor@2oceansvibe.com
Subject: Mombasa Cafe Cavendish

Your write up on Mombasa is way old …..10 march 2008

Please GO & EAT before you speak as its a NIGHT SUPPER VENU FORCED TO BE OPEN BY THE SHOPPING CENTERE TRADING HOURS.

THE BEST AFRICAN RESTAURANT In THE CAPE TOBASCO IS NOT AFRICAN BUT BECEAUSE SOME A>>>>OF A WAITER DID NOT KNOW THAT WE DO HAVE IT,!!!!!! YOU DONT PHONE ME OR ASK FOR THE MANAGER YOU JUST GIVE A BAD WTITE UP< I DONT EVEN WANT TO SELL TOASTED SARMIES BUT WHO EATS GRILLED EAST COAST SOLE AS 10 AM ?????

Fillet out of this world LAMB SHANK In THE MOROCCAN STYLE TO DIE FOR.

Mauritian prawn curry just BRILLIANT

Mombasa is so passionate about food that it makes 3 types of prawn curries all BRILLIANT The SWAHILI one sells by the ton!!!!! No tobasco BUT REAL EASTERN SPICES MAKING MOMBASAS FOOD WORLD CLASS

Potjies served at the table are also to die for

best spare ribs you ever had

Vegetarian foods fantastic
AND IT HAS ALWAYS HAD JIM Beam BLACK

I owned La Scala AS well at the time of your write up & ironicly MOMBASA CAFE has always had the HIGHER TURNOVER BY FAR…………..

You see if you can find better BURGERS ANY WHERE

Try an omelette

TRY A MARGARITA OR A COSMOPOLITAN BEST YOU EVER HAD

The owner cant always know what iddiottic things waters can do or SAY & its unfair to beline a brilliant restaurant beceause of some FOOL>
ALSO SADELY MANY MANAGERS ARE REALLY DAMERGERS!!!

PLEASE LET THE OWNERS KNOW

REGARDS

Pat Pryce-Fitchen
Owner OF the FANTASTIC & OFTEN PACKED AT NIGHT MOMBASA CAFE

Good for you, Pat – look at you go!!!

Passion!!! That’s what we like – beautiful shit!

I’ll be back…in the evening.

I just need to confirm that you definitely have Tabasco sauce? As well as the 2oceansvibe beverages of choice: including De Grendel wine, Jack Black beer, Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut and Pussy Natural Energy Drink?

Please respond via the comments facility below this article.

It’s won’t be long until you’ll find it at all your favourite 2oceansvibe hangouts, including Caprice, Miss K, 1800 Restaurant, Cape Royale Hotel, HQ Restaurant and Caveau.

Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut
Now being served at The Safe House

Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut – the 2oceansvibe Sparkling Wine of choice.

The Methode Cap Classique of choice, I might add!

I’ll be honest, The Muse and I klapped a bottle each on Sunday and I must say it goes VERY well with the Atlantic Seaboard. In fact, it goes very well with the entire weekend. It went well with the post-Clifton-tanning-session Sunday Times hour , as well as the vinyl player interlude, featuring Barry and Barbs.. Yes, it seems to adapt very well.

But you would have known that anyway, if you were following the 2oceansvibe Twitter feed, as well as the 2oceansvibe Flickr feed..

For the more serious bubbly drinkers out there, you can CLICK HERE to download the Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut cheat sheet (PDF) which will answer all those questions you might be asking. Questions that I cannot answer. All I know is it tastes great and everyone I drink it with thinks the same!

Then, when you’re done there, take a stroll down to their website and see what it takes to become the official 2oceansvibe bubbly – www.boschendalwines.com

Arthur Jones, the winner of the Seth Rotherham Experience, moved into my Cape Royale Suite on Friday night for a weekend of top brands and luxury. I popped in to visit him and the gorgeous Jess (turns out Arthur is playing out of his socks!) shortly after they checked in

Arthur Jones’s residence for the weekend.
Shame.

The 3-bedroom Seth Rotherham schweet at the Cape Royale
Jess toasts her good fortune at meeting a guy like Arthur

We addressed a few Jack Blacks and De Grendel sav and discussed the various aspects of his MONSTER PRIZE!

Perhaps I should remind you of the finer details?

• Two nights in Seth Rotherham’s suite at the Cape Royale hotel from a Friday to the Sunday (incl. underground parking and free internet).
• A spa treatment for you and your partner at the Cape Royale Equinox spa .
• Free car wash (just next door) at Plush Boutique car wash.
• Free meals at Cape Royale’s 1800 restaurant during your stay
• De Grendel wine and Jack Black beer on the house during your stay (at 1800 bar, as well as stocked in your own fridge).
• Free Vida e coffee (just next door) on Seth’s account.
• A case of Pussy Natural Energy Drink in your fridge.
• Free breakfast or lunch at Miss K (just next door).
• Free Butlers pizza on Seth’s account.
• 2 pairs of Ray Ban Wayfarers from their new Colorize range.
• 2 X R1,000 shopping vouchers for the PUMA store at the Waterfront.
• Being so close to the Green Point stadium, we had to throw in a pack of Kika-Sack balls!
• A test drive in an Audi R8.
• A R1,000 sports betting voucher for www.greatodds.com – SA’s largest online sportsbook!
• Sunday lunch to the value of R500 at Cafe Roux, Noordhoek.
• And, just to top it all off, you’ll be able to skip the queue and enjoy R1,000 on Seth’s tab at Caprice , Sunday night.

I gave him my camera and asked him to take as many pics as possible.

Check it out (click thumbnails for bigger pics):

  
Chilling at the Sky Bar / Taking a 2 hour test drive in the Audi R8

Killing the Waterfront Puma store / indulging in the Equinox spa
at the Cape Royale. It should be mentioned that Arthur is now in
Puma “Cabana” range gang.

Vida e was naturally on the house, as well as the best
breakfast place in town – Miss K in Green Point

Very cool!

But it gets BETTER!

See the rest of the pics of Arthur Jones’s
Seth Rotherham Experience (AWESOME pics) HERE

I would also like to say a hearty congratulations to the beautiful couple, who became engaged the weekend before the Seth Rotherham experience! Well done!

To the rest of you out there who didn’t win, keep an eye out – we’ll be doing another one soon.

Work is a sideline, Live the holiday…

Hello, Dugsie

One Good Pig Deserves Another – We published a headline on Friday, about these “Mircro Pigs.” The above photo was considered as the main photograph for that morning’s headlines, but a pic for the World Cup stadiums headline was used instead. I was worried you might have missed it, so here it is again! Click link for more info on these tiny porkers. [dailymail]

Boyzone Singer Dies – Spanish police investigating the death of Boyzone singer Stephen Gately in Majorca. The 33-year-old Irish pop star and actor was on holiday with his long-term partner Andrew Cowles in Majorca when he “tragically died” in his sleep on Saturday. Just like that? [ skynews]

Readers Dismay At Newly Opened Cape Town Restaurant, “Portofino” - Following the widespread circulation of an email exchange between the owner of “Portofino” restaurant, Cormac Keane and a potential customer; the feedback from Cape Town society has been overwhelming. [2oceansvibe]

Why SA’s “Mr. Apple” prefers fine wine to bloggers – The executive director of Core Group, who is known by most people simply as “RJ”, emigrated to SA almost by chance in the late 1990s. He says he’s since fallen in love with the country and, though he still travels extensively to Europe and West Africa on business, he says he has no intention of living anywhere else. [techcentral]

Gavin Rajah’s Clothing Range Gets Mocked by Mavericks Strippers – as Mavericks owner and Rajah go head to head. It was an unlikely business venture to start with – an acclaimed fashion designer and the owner of a raunchy gentlemen’s club. Gavin Rajah and Mavericks strip club owner Shane Harrison have a long way to go to iron out their differences. [sundaytimes]

Cristiano Ronaldo will be the new official worldwide spokesmodel for Emporio Armani Men’s Underwear and Armani Jeans starting from Spring/Summer 2010. He will be replacing David Beckham who has been the spokesmodel for Emporio Armani Men’s Underwear since January 2008. [luxuo]

Puff Adder Relocation in Cape Town – It’s summer time in Cape Town and Stu Hoy from LifeStruckTV was enjoying a cup of coffee catch up with Wild Child Braam Malherbe. The catch-up session took an unexpected turn as Braam was called in to remove a Puff Adder snake from a home in Tamboerskloof. Luckily Stu had his video camera handy [cracker]

Madonna Drops Celebrity Trainer – Madonna’s drama with ubertrainer Tracy Anderson has come to a head. Anderson, who also trains Gwyneth Paltrow and opened a $900/month gym in Tribeca earlier this year, will no longer help the material girl sculpt her famous arms. [huffingtonpost]

The World’s Best Companies – A commitment to innovation, diversified portfolios, aggressive expansion, strong leadership, and a clear vision for the future—these are just some of the strategies employed by the best companies to get to the top of the World’s Best Companies/Global Top 40 list compiled for BusinessWeek by management consulting firm A.T. Kearney [businessweek]

Adrien Brody to take lead role in Predator remake – Adrien Brody is doubtless still best known for evading Nazi capture in Roman Polanski’s The Pianist – a part for which he won an Oscar in 2002. But he’s had such a strikingly eclectic career since (soulful savant, Gulf war veteran, private eye, King Kong-battling writer) it oughtn’t to have come as a big shock that he’s now been cast as the (human) lead in Robert Rodriguez’s Predators reboot. [guardian]

Hungary pageant for surgically enhanced beauties – It was a night for unnatural beauties. Contestants showed off breast implants, nose jobs and face lifts as Miss Plastic Hungary 2009 strove to promote the benefits of plastic surgery in a country where artificial enhancements are viewed mostly with a wary eye. [asspress/pics]

Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize – The announcement drew gasps of surprise and cries of too much, too soon. Yet President Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday because the judges found his promise of disarmament and diplomacy too good to ignore. [huff]

Petra Nemcova comes dangerously close to a nipslip. No spice. [egotastic]

[thanks gaynor, john, michael, brett, julez]

I recall a launch of sorts (less than a month ago), with much fanfare and excitement. A new brave venture, during torrid times. A time, perhaps, that one should be trying that little bit harder to impress? In fact, one might even suggest “bending over backwards” as the order of the day. You know, something to help one stand out, as Cape Town restaurants are seen closing down left, right and centre.

Not for Portofino restaurant, it seems. As we recount a recent email exchange between a potential customer and the owner.

These emails are published chronologically, from start to finish. So, basically, you can read each one in order from TOP to BOTTOM.

*Customer’s name has been altered since original publication.

From: AF
To: info@portofinoct.co.za    

Sent: Monday, October 05, 2009 16:22

Subject: Website    Contact

Good Day,

We’re looking to make a booking for four people, tomorrow at 17:00 for an early business dinner— would this be possible?

Thank you,

AF

__________________________________

From: info@portofinoct.co.za>
Organization: Portofino Bar & Restaurant
Date: Monday, 5 Oct 2009 18:00
To: AF
Subject: Re: Website Contact

Hi AF,

That’s fine. See you tomorrow.

Regards

Cormac

__________________________________

From:  AF
To: info@portofinoct.co.za   
Sent: Tuesday, October 06, 2009 08:49
Subject: Re: Website   Contact

Hi Cormac,

Apologies, the dinner is only for Wednesday evening— is this a problem? If not, please put us down for 17:00 on Wednesday.

Also, will the full menu be available at 5 PM?

Kind Regards,

AF

__________________________________

From: info@portofinoct.co.za>
Organization: Portofino Bar & Restaurant
Date: Wednesday, 7 Oct 2009 19:54
To: AF
Subject: Re: Website Contact

Hi AF,

On   behalf of all of our staff who came in early to make and serve your food (we normally open at 6.30 I would like to thank you for messing their day up and more seriously disrupting my afternoon nap.

Please do us all a favour and don’t ever book a table at my restaurant again.

Regards

Cormac

__________________________________

From: AF
To: info@portofinoct.co.za
Sent: Thursday, October 08, 2009 08:38
Subject: Re: Website Contact

Hi Cormac,

Before I respond to this email   properly, I wanted to make sure that you had been informed of my cancellation, that I had phoned in at 4 PM yesterday? We had a last-minute schedule change on behalf of the business associates travelling down from Johannesburg that I called in as soon as I knew about. The tone of your email, and it’s commentary, indicates that perhaps you had not been informed of this telephonic cancellation.

AF

__________________________________

From: info@portofinoct.co.za>
Organization: Portofino Bar & Restaurant
Date: Thursday, 8 Oct 2009 10:16
To: AF
Subject: Re: Website Contact

Hi AF,

I had indeed been informed that you had canceled the table an hour before your booking time.

Tone remains the same.

Regards

Cormac

__________________________________

From: AF
To: info@portofinoct.co.za
Sent: Thursday, October 08, 2009 10:57
Subject: Re: Website Contact

Cormac,

In response to your email, I’d like to first state that in no way was I aware that any special measures had been taken by the restaurant on behalf of our party of four— this was never indicated to me in the reservation emails, nor are your opening hours indicated on your website. Had I known that the chef and staff were going to come in specifically for our party, and that the restaurant only opened at 6:30 PM, I would have confirmed the booking, as our plans were open to change (as they did), and changing plans would have disrupted the restaurant. It was never my intention to inconvenience anybody at the restaurant. We were, in fact, working with government representatives and looking to show them a great new restaurant, but unfortunately due to schedule changes from their side, had to cancel our booking.   Unfortunately, this happens when working with out-of-town guests.

Your efforts to open the restaurant early on our behalf are certainly noted, and appreciated. However, your response to our unfortunate cancellation is very upsetting. Had we known the lengths the restaurant had gone to in order to accommodate us, your frustrations would have been more understandable. Instead, we were operating under the understanding that the restaurant was open for normal business for the time in which we made our booking, which is why I cancelled the reservation.   When I saw your email come through, I had thought that it was no doubt an email to say, “Sorry you couldn’t make it, but we hope to see you soon,” or something along those lines. Instead, what I found was a personal attack on myself, and my integrity. This is out-of-line. I had looked forward to trying out your restaurant, as I enjoy supporting new establishments in Cape Town, and your menu looked particularly intriguing.   In light of your email, however, I will not be going to your restaurant, and will be actively discouraging others from visiting your restaurant as well.

Moreover as one of the dinner guests for last night’s booking, the CEO of XYZ (altered) Fund Managers, Mr. JS (altered), has seen the correspondence between us, and will be following up in due course with his own thoughts on the matter.

Frustrations with restaurant patrons who are unreasonably demanding and inflexible are understandable; anger and hostility towards potential clientele over a reservation cancellation is simply unacceptable, as is your tone and sarcasm that have been used freely in your correspondence. Personal integrity is something that should always be maintained, both professionally and socially. Your correspondence to me lacks integrity altogether.

It’s a shame that you have taken a good restaurant concept and menu, and clouded it behind a wall of arrogant customer service where the restaurant patron is viewed as a nuisance, as an unwanted visitor.

Regards,

AF

__________________________________

From: >info@portofinoct.co.za>
Organization: Portofino Bar & Restaurant
Date: Thursday, 8 Oct 2009 11:22
To: AF
Subject: Re: Website Contact   

Dear AF,

I am a little bit puzzled by your remarks “I will not be going to your restaurant, and will be actively discouraging others from visiting your restaurant as well” I would have thought that my email was quite clear when I asked you not to book a table at my restaurant, obviously not so I will try again, Please do not book a table at my restaurant again.

I will try and contain my excitement and await the contribution from “the CEO of XYZ Fund Managers, Mr. JS” upon receipt I will pin it up in the bathrooms for customers purusal while they relieve themselves.

Regards

Cormac

You can close your mouth now.

Whilst I agree that there are two sides to every story, this is a straightforward black and white email exchange and the facts are there for all to see.

Why do people behave in this way? Why would you not take it on the chin and put on a brave face? Why the urge to create negative energy and conflict?

Were you never told one story about how word spreads in Cape Town and how fickle its people can be? The way everyone knows everyone else, and if they don’t, they will know someone who does. Why would you risk behaving in this manner? Have you not heard the stories of restaurants opening and closing overnight after the community decides, en masse, to give it the “thumbs down?”

Clearly not. This is simply not how we behave.

God…the arrogance!

I did a little google for the restaurant name, and found this similar account on the Eat Out website.

Hmm..It seems we have a trend forming.

I simply don’t understand why you would go to the effort of spending money getting the restaurant out there with launch parties and marketing etc., if you’re not prepared to back it up?

Very interesting business technique.

So it’s over to you, 2oceansvibers – what are your thoughts on this little email exchange?

Prawns – blatant disregard for human law
As they force co-existence upon us

I have one question : Will this lawlessness only be addressed when children start being knocked over, as they attempt to re-enact what they’ve seen the prawns doing on the roads?

This “fuck you” attitude displayed by some of the prawns (and I stress “some” of them, who ruin it for the rest) continued at Caprice where prawns were spotted climbing all over the furniture with their damaging “clip-shoe” footwear.

The “fuck you” attitude displayed by prawns
in human society continues.

I’m not sure how things work in District 9, but here in the human areas and among our own, we have a very clear understanding about manners and general etiquette. At a very basic level, we obey traffic signals, and we don’t stand on furniture. You need to adhere to these basics – if you wish to coexist. Especially when it comes to bicycles.

A bicycle is the first mode of transport for most human children. They cannot wait to get their first bicycle and probably can’t wait to have the ability to go through red traffic lights, like they see the “adults” (prawns) doing on the road.

Why do you let them do it? Why do you just sit in your car and shake your head? Why don’t you hoot at them? Why don’t you wind down your window and ask them to please stop?

I guess we’ll just have to wait for a child to get hurt before this is addressed.

What are your thoughts?

I’m speechless. Just look at this flyer – it says it all.

(You guys look hysterical!)

God help us all!

I must say that looks like it’s going to be crazy fun. I strongly suggest that everybody goes. Maybe HQ beforehand for Friday drinks – then Cappers for the Kings of Neon?

Hating that!

See you there!

www.nobucks.co.za

Now it’s one thing living cheaply on food stamps, but the cool thing about these kids behind nobucks.co.za is they’re including 2oceansvibe approved bars and restaurants. So you’re getting discounts at the likes of Caprice, Hudsons, Cafe Sofia, Andiamo, Beluga etc. So you’re skimping it, but you’re doing it in style.

I suppose, in way, that’s what I do. I mean, besides my fabulous wealth which allows me this lifestyle anyway, it is generally accepted that I am not charged when frequenting Cape Town establishments. So, indirectly, I guess I’m doing the same thing! Weird.

Look, my good looks help as well, granted – but let’s keep our eye on the ball here.

[thanks herman]

Last Sunday, for example, featured what could only be described as “Aladdin’s Grandmother” getting carried away as the live music took her to new levels of amazingness.

You simply have to see this video, as she displays pole dancing skills you never thought possible for a fully grown mature woman.

*pause vid and let it load up fully before you play.

So there you have it. Amazing how a steamy sexual pole dance can blend so seamlessly into a family Sunday lunch at Cafe Roux. All this going on, as the kiddies play in the sand pit and pet the odd Shetland pony and pot-bellied pig on its way through.

I thoroughly enjoyed how the owner, Paul le Roux (the balding fellow with the white jumper) didn’t bat an eye, as he continued tending to the guests. Standard stuff around there.

Because professionalism is….and that’s…what I want.

I can recall the Caprice menu from memory pretty much verbatim and would like to tell you my usual tapas choices. Very basically – it’s the prawns, it’s the meat balls, it’s the hummus with pita (ask them for a couple extra slices) and the cajun calamari. But, most importantly, for the love of God, do NOT forget the spring rolls – that would be a crying shame.

The blurb : Pull in every Friday between 18:00 and 20:00 to enjoy any of the delicious tapas items: Chicken Nachos, Tzatziki & Pita, Marinated Sirloin strips, Grilled Cajun Calamari at ridiculously low prices… Let’s do a little sum for you here: If you and a mate share a huge Chicken Nachos AND Sticky Buffalo wings, you’re both in for R27 each. It’s ridiculous. And delicious.

Book now: 021 438 8315.

I’ve just realised I can go one step further. The menu is actually right here with me. (I swear I didn’t use it earlier when I was showing off for you).

You want it?

No problem – CLICK HERE for the Caprice menu.

Quietly enjoy the 2oceansvibe cocktail on the cocktail list..

Dave, Mike, MJ, could we look at tweaking it a bit before summer?

RUDOLF DASSLER by PUMA presents THE SIDE-PROJECTS

Cape Town, South Africa 21 July, 2009 – ‘RUDOLF DASSLER by PUMA presents “THE SIDE-PROJECTS’” a series of unplugged concerts, in partnership with uber-cool Cape Town beer salon &Union.

Performers including Luado from aKing, Lonesome Dave Ferguson, Lance Herman and Josh Ginsburg from Fly Paper Jet, Wrestlerish and Richard Brokensha and Ryk Benade from Kidofdoom will perform a once-off set of unreleased material unplugged. The concerts will take place at 7.30pm every Saturday from 15 August to 19 September at &Union on Heritage Square.

 

The Lineup..

 

The cornerstone of the St Stephen’s Church redevelopment on Cape Town’s Bree Street, the &Union space occupies a section of the cellar in one of the cities oldest existing churches.

PUMA will install the PUMA Mobile Unit at &Union – the PUMA Mobile Unit is a converted for retail 20 foot shipping container, which takes inspiration from PUMA’s concept store design. The unit will be open to the public from 9am-9pm daily, from August 13 to August 15. The PUMA Mobile Unit will stock Rudolf Dassler by PUMA apparel, accessories and selected PUMA Black Label footwear that will be sold at special rates to commemorate this occasion.

Just to explain to the uninformed, Rudolf Dassler started Puma after a fallout with his brother, Adi Dassler, who went on to form Adidas. The “Rudolf Dassler” range of Puma gear is their premium stuff. So the mention of “special rates” above should be very appealing! Let alone the venue and bands on display!

You’ll remember my Dassler Jacket (here) and my latest CRAZY-WILD! high-cuts (here from 2oceansvibe Twitter) which I wear when I’m being all “street.”

YES, I can be street if I want! [folds arms and displays weird gangster hand signals] - don’t forget I did attend SACS junior school! No spice. I had a gang with Tromp and everything! You wanna test me? You want me to throw some names around? Sure – try Mrs Henderson, Brian Prehn, Mr. Campbell, Sirrell (and his “slaanstok”), Mr. Joubert (victimised me) and Mr. McEwen (both of them).

Nailed.

“BOOMALAKA BOOMALAKA WHAAH WHAAH WHAAH!!!”

See you at the concerts!

Hudsons Burger Joint on Kloof..
Pretty siiiick!

It’s opposite the Kloof Lifestyle Centre (loads of parking), by the way. Next to the garage. that’s the one.

As the name suggests, it’s a burger joint. They’ve got 150g burgers, as well as 250g. And they’ve got a RAD selection. I sat outside and went for the “WiseGuy” which has got some hot stuff inside it – because that’s how I roll. Baby.

Amongst the myriad of wild and wonderful concoctions, they even had an Ostrich Burger! I know, how cool is that? Now you don’t have to feel bad, because ostrich is oh-so good for you (if I remember correctly?!). The roll (carbohydrate) will be fine – I won’t tell anyone.

Trippy..

But don’t take MY word for it – have a look over their marketing blurb:

Their concept is to introduce a completely unique, simple, more direct burger bar, offering the highest quality burgers you can get in Cape Town. Their burgers comprise of freshly ground beef, made in-house, every morning. No soya proteins, limited fat (from the regular 20% down to Hudsons 5%) – just whole-grain meat. What else makes Hudsons so unique from the rest? Double crunch fries, sour dough buns, a chickpea and lentil veggie burger, vanilla lemonade, and other innovative toppings to top off the menu.

Hudons is open from 9am to 11pm Tuesday to Saturday and is located at 69A Kloof street, Cape Town. To book a table call 021 4265974 or mail info@theburgerjoint.co.za

Sick!

So ja I just wanted to tell you about this place and I hope that you give it a bash. It’s basically what Burger Royale on Long Street should be. Unfortunately when you go there you also have to deal with Long Street which comes with the obligatory drug peddlers, whores, cockroaches and parking nightmares..

It’s your call.

And what’s more, Dave tells me The TBG has been to Hudson’s more than once.

You do the math. Hudsons wins.

Oh, God, almost forgot – they’ve got a Jack Black Beer tap there – an immediate entry into “the vibe.”

And they have a CRAZY bathroom – but I want you to find out about that yourself.

Finger Clothing is two doors down. They’re the dudes that stock the exclusive Ape Town range of T-shirts.

That’s enough now.

Go get that burger.

UPDATE

To the Royale fans who are emailing me and getting worked up about the above article – take it from whence it comes. Not to be misunderstood, 2oceansvibe are (and always have been ) massive fans of Royale and are not dissing Royale for one second. We’re referring to Long Street, and what one has to deal with when there. Nothing against Royale. If anything, it annoys us that we don’t go there as often. The whores, drugs, parking hassles and cockroaches were grammatically connected to Long Street, not Royale. Give it another read..

Thanks for the support – some great passion out there. Nice vibe, guys!

Aah, good, the 10 larges had obviously arrived! Wonderful. They’ve got a lovely bunch of staff, here at the Cape Royale hotel and 1800 restaurant . Some of them, including the likes of Patrick, have been here since the beginning.

It is my first time in the suite I acquired some time ago, and I must say I am pleased as punch. Of the many views from my residence (including the likes of Dan Skinstad waving from a neighbouring building!), I do enjoy this one of the Green Point World Cup Stadium .

One of the many views from the suite

Do you know the entire phone at the Cape Royale is VOIP (same concept as Skype)? Seriously, they’re very tech-aware here – with wireless networks on every floor, as well as downstairs.

I have my meetings either in my suite, or downstairs at 1800 restaurant. We’ll chat about that another time. But read up on their mind blowing (first in South Africa, imported from New York) grilling technique here.

Did I mention the SKYBAR, at the top of the hotel? It’s pretty rad – check it out:

Nothing wrong with that

That’s where we live

But how could one go to the top of the building without having another glance at the stadium? This is probably the highest and nearest point that you can get to it:

Pretty awesome!
(here is another very cool one I took on Twitter)

I know, very cool. And to think there is a Vida e on the one side, and Miss K on the other!

I’ll keep you up to date on my vibe here. I still have to try the spa.. let alone find the gym (having not exercised since I left on the 1st of June for the South of France!). God, I hope I’m not turning into a fatty boom boom!

Oh, and a MASSIVE thanks to De Grendel, Jack Black, Vitamin Water, Steri Stumpie, Puma, Ray Ban, Haut Espoir, Cosmo & Marie Claire for stocking up the penthouse before I arrived! Why you so naughty?

That’s all for now, folks! Remember to follow 2oceansvibe on Twitter to get the LIVE behind the scenes action all day, every day.

ps. CLICK HERE to check out the Cape Royale’s “love winter” special. It’s something like R747 per person, including breakfast, dinner, spa and chauffer.

No, I’m not kidding. Click here.

Interesting. I’m told it is “sophisticated.”

Have any of you been?

What’s it like?

Photo from Life Is Savage
(Courtesy of Grant Hood)

Photo courtesy of @heinkoen

This, from News24:

Cape Town – A container carrying potentially harmful chemicals washed up on Camps Bay beach on Thursday afternoon, according to Disaster Risk Management.

The owner of the container, whose name has not been confirmed, has been tasked with removing it, Disaster Risk Management’s Charlotte Powell said.

A crane was on its way and Hazmat teams, the police, disaster risk management staff and the fire department were also on the scene.

Police spokesperson Inspector Bernadine Steyn said it was not a criminal matter and no case had been opened.

According to Powell and News24 users on the scene, the tank contains a form of Cresol, a chemical used to make disinfectants and household cleaners, amongst other things.

While exposure to the chemical at low levels is not harmful, it can cause irritation and pain when breathed, ingested or touched.

[more here]

Wow! It’s ALL happening!

I enjoyed this from Life Is Savage : A female onlooker describes the object as a massive metal cylinder surrounded by rusty metal beams..and she swears she saw something emerge and run into Caprice and order the 2 for 1 Dreamy burger special..

We are standing by for more info..

Until then, here’s the song “TOXIC” by Britney Spears:

If you have any more info, please add it to the comments section under this article. And, if you have any other pics – send ‘em in at editor@2oceansvibe.com with the subject “Don’t you know that you’re TOXIC!”

[thanks dave, thanks harps]

Let’s take a look:

Starter : Potato and leek soup with toasted garlic and herb ciabatta.

Main: A choice of Chicken kebabs with roasted vegetables and chips OR a 250g Sirloin Steak with roasted vegetables and chips OR a Vegetable neapolitana penne . Stop it!

Dessert: Lindt chocolate brownies! Surely not?

All this for only R80.

AND a Heineken!

I know!

Book now for Friday by calling 021 4388315 or emailing info@cafecaprice.co.za

HQ Restaurant

On my second visit last week I ran into Matt, who, slightly out of breath, said, “Seth, oh my God, I JUST emailed you a TBG sighting ! He was HERE last night bru. HERE – IN HQ!!! The place was going nuts!! People weren’t sure how to contain themselves!” I took Matt to one of the sofa’s and got him a glass of water, as he calmed down.

He said they didn’t get a good shot, but the great man’s ever-present aura was very apparent. I finished my meal as quick as I could to get to my laptop to indulge in the finer details of this, the second sighting (how can we forget Skinstad’s treasured TBG sighting here) in just a fortnight.

Here it is:

It is always tricky for a standard camera
to record the TBG’s aura without destroying
the entire photograph.

 

Seth,

As you know i have run many fine establishments in Cape Town… and never in my life have i ever been tackled by one of my pretty little ‘angels’ that work for me.

I finally found my feet, took a moment or two to gather my thoughts…..and started yelling at her….. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on..

I thought to myself ‘did i possibly take her home and not call her the next day???? – the only logical explanation. Not quite sure what was happening i popped the question “why exactly did u tackle me?”

She said “isn’t it obvious?” i replied “no my angel, fill me in…”

She said, ‘the TBG is there and i need u to take a pic!’

I was stunned….how could i not have picked it up earlier…. That blinding white aura that just oozes greatness!!!

The vibe in HQ was so intense i cant even explain…. Everyone at their tables turned around, there was a sudden hush in the bar, and his aura even outshone the fire place!

It came time to take the pic….. i took about ten….. but his aura was too bright…. all i got was flashes of white light…

I let him chill out and he had the amazing HQ Sirloin (and a few Jack Blacks on tap of course…)

I finally managed to snap this pic when he was leaving. The blinding white energy had subsided just enough to get a pic!!!

The TBG with one of HQ’s angels – Carla.

Thanks TBG….u made our night…. and possibly Carla’s life!!!!!

later Seth

Matt

What a wonderful experience. I didn’t realise they had Jack Black Beer at HQ. that’s good to know. With a fireplace at HQ and Jack Black on tap, it seems The TBG is very much living within “The Vibe.” Beautiful stuff. Well done, HQ – that’s quite a drawcard!

If you’ve never been to HQ, seriously, give it a bash. It’s very cool. There is a bar/lounge section, as well as a chill out section with a fireplace. The chow is amazing as well.

Your classic steak Brasserie

It’s good – trust me

The fireplace
That’s what you’ve been looking for

But, more importantly, the rumours persist that The TBG is in London at the moment.

Keep an eye out there, ex pats. You may just get your special moment..

This, from Remo’s restaurant, just outside Mount Edgecombe estate in Umhlanga.

Remo’s stern notice to all cyclists

One cannot help but be reminded of, and to note the similarities between this public rights spar and man’s approach to global warming. With rumours afoot that Vida e are contemplating “No Helmets” signs in their stores, it seems possible that the freewheeling attitude and socially destructive behaviour of cyclists, might just be thwarted before it is too late.

Who knows, maybe some day it will become law..

[thanks adrian]

“Jesus,” I said, “get me one of those!”

Some random killer Caprice burgers

And I tell you what, it did NOT disappoint. None of the burgers at Caprice ever do, to be honest. I’d advise you to try them all – but start with the Dreamy Burger. The name says it all.

And what better time to try them all, with the annual Caprice 2-for-1 Winter Burger Special!

Check it out:

What’s better than one delicious Dreamy, Whale or Old-School burger? TWO delicious Dreamy, Whale or Old-School burgers for the price of one!

Pull in to Cafe Caprice Monday to Thursday, from 1 May until the end of winter, for lunch or dinner.

Book now by contacting Mike on 021 4388315 or at info@cafecaprice.co.za.

It’s THAT easy.

Funnily enough, did you hear about Barack Obama stopping for an impromptu burger in Virginia yesterday? It’s true. The Secret Service weren’t quite sure. Check it out here.

He should try the Dreamy Burger. He’d enjoy it.

Seth,

Hanging off the backend of a bender – myself and the missus were looking for a KFC, something to soak up the booze!

Anyway, not feeling great at the time we decided to do the drive through thing in the line and as we turn the corner some komskom has spray painted this on the wall!

Food for thought?

Doug W

 

Wow, that’s pretty hilarious. Someone obviously knows something that we don’t. Although our national cricket team are sponsored by KFC at the moment and they don’t seem to be growing any strange appendages out the sides of their necks.

For now.

Good heavens – can you imagine if they were sponsored by KFC in Pat Symcox’s day? He would have fielded with a KFC barrel under his arm, with a drum stick in one hand and a cigarette in the other! The tricky part would have been deciding which to drop if the ball came his way! He’d probably suck the marrow out of that chicken bone long before the ball came down to earth. He’d have to, they belong together .

Aah, good times.

What a beaut.

ps. I’m spending the weekend in Kommetjie, this coming weekend. The above reference to the komskom was made by the reader, not Seth. Don’t forget that Kom Skom spiritual leader, Ian “Mettie” Metcalf, has given Seth the key to the city.

[If you haven't watched part 1 then you need to do that first otherwise it won't make sense. Seriously]

It should be in the article below this one. If not, CLICK HERE.

And so, once you’ve done that, here is Part 2 (of 2), featuring Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model and BOMBshell girl, Genevieve Morton!

Fine

Video is below.

REMEMBER : For smooth viewing: JUST as you start playing, PAUSE the video to let it load up a bit, THEN PLAY it.

Enjoy:

Never mind the actual weather, the report was FINE!