Summer is just around the corner and as you know things can get pretty hot – especially in Cape Town. Without good affordable air conditioning in Cape Town, you’ll be sweating like a fat kid at a hot dog eating contest in no time. That is why I want to point you in the direction of these guys – Air Nova – because when it comes to air conditioning in Cape Town, they’re the most affordable – believe me…

Give them a call on 021 557 8092

Or email info@airnova.co.za

Cape Town Air Conditioning here.

Mention 2oceansvibe for further discount…

(chat to Brendon)

Kristin is actually a qualified cordon bleu chef, so expect your best friend to eat like a champion, but she also has about six years worth of dog training and behaviourist experience too, so she also knows what she’s doing.

After running her own dog training school for a couple of years, she has finally been able to realise her dream and open the doggie daycare centre around the corner from Wembley Square in Gardens.

Run as a full day programme, dogs will participate in games like tunnel running and listen to classical music when they have naptime after lunch.

They’ll be walked for you and they will probably also visit the doggie salon for a little bit of tender loving care.

It’s Kristin’s vision that a fun and healthy environment for your dog will lead to a happier home life for you both. Because dogs are such active animals, being left at home alone during the day can lead to problems such as separation anxiety, excessive barking and destructive behaviour.

That’s where Kristin and her team of experts step in and occupy your best friends time so that he or she doesn’t even get the chance to think of that sort of stuff.

Of course Kristin will offer some other peripheral services like dog training and puppy classes for the unruly. She is also looking at adding what she calls the “canine cab”- essentially a pick-up-and-drop-off service so you don’t have to worry about transport.

Naturally she will also be incorporating an onsite shop that will offer a wide range of dog products including specialised food and the usual toys and grooming products.

If you think your best friend would enjoy this kind of vibe, then check out the Proud Hounds Doggie Daycare website for more information.

[Source: DoggieDaycare]

A strike by Ceppwawu workers this week, means fuel is still not reaching filling stations in Gauteng and KwaZulu-Natal.  While there have apparently not been any official reports of the strike affecting the Cape’s fuel supplies, there was news circulating on Twitter last night that certain Cape Town stations in Hout Bay and Fish Hoek had run out of petrol.

For the record,  there was plenty of fuel at the Shell Parktown Service Station in Gardens earlier today.  Let us know if you know of any affected stations.

[Source: EWN]

My assistant Naomi got in touch with one Abdul, who works at Katanga, the company employed by ACSA (Airports Company South Africa) to oversee their parking systems. It turns out the ground floor parking of the MAIN parking garage at Cape Town International airport, charges nothing for the first half an hour, and R35 per hour thereafter.

You will notice from this next video that there is no clear signage alerting the public of this, until they get to the ticket machine and take the parking card. You and I both know that hardly anyone familiar with parking ticket/boom systems will read the signage at the ticket machine. We just want to park our car and walk – ESPECIALLY at the airport. ESPECIALLY when there are a couple of cars behind us.

One thing we would watch, however, is which lane to choose as we enter a parking garage.

Please enjoy this video:

Did you enjoy the Audi in front of me who had to reverse? Luckily he had the time to do so!

According to Abdul, they don’t really give a toss about the complaints they receive every second day, “we are quite comfortable that the area is working as it was intended, with complaints of maybe just 1 every 2-3 days“

I’m glad YOU’RE comfortable with that, Abdul!

With signage explaining the price charges only appearing once someone is at the actual boom (AFTER choosing a lane and being stuck in that lane), and Katanga admitting that they receive complaints every second day and that they are FINE with it, this practice could surely be described as a money making scam? What do YOU think?

We frown upon this kind of practice, here at 2oceansvibe and we are horrified that while they have openly admitted knowing about this, nothing has been done.

Disgusting…

Men, and empowered women.

It’s 2011. We’re not our grandfathers, okay? 99% of us don’t have access to a fully equipped woodworking shed. We don’t while our own door knobs, or plane our own shelves. Hell, most of us don’t even hang our own shelves. Why? The evaporation of knowledge, friends.

The move towards digital technology has given birth to a slew of skills that gran and gramps could never have imagined. Conversely, some of the skills that were central to their lives, like the ability to make your own butter, or construct your storage space from timber and guile, are no longer necessary in today’s world. Well, not to each of us as individuals. We’re too busy. And besides, there are people like Homefixers to do it.

And my word, do they do it well. What is “it’? “It” is basically any home task that you can think of. Really. Check out what they did for us:

Picture hanging:

Disclaimer: Model is mobile (i.e. not mounted)

All. Over. The. Office.

Some pictures are bigger than others…

Latch installation:

Window

Bathroom

Restoring and installing a solid oak bar:

The Compound Bar. Nicely.

Installed with a door!

Shelf mounting:

Sign mounting:

Dry walling and painting:

Dry walling installed all the way around the top. Yeah baby.

TV mounting:

Nice brackets

Custom carpentry:

Storage space. Built. With wood. From scratch.

Bear in mind that this is by no means an exhaustive list of tasks that Homefixers nailed for us. It’s just a sample, my lovelies. Really, give them a call. Tell them Seth sent you. Ask for Ian, or Philip. Oh, and if Davie comes to your place, treat him nicely. The guy is a gentleman, and a wizard with a tool belt.

If you’re anywhere in the Cape Town area, you can’t go wrong with these guys.

Check out the Homefixers website HERE!

It doesn’t get easier than that!

1) You choose what kind of print you want (framed or mounted or canvas) as well as the physical size of the thing.

2) Choose the size you want, as well as the number of copied.

3) Upload the image file from your computer or camera memory card.

Then you give your address and pay online, either with a credit card, or EFT and BOOM – it arrives at your door a few days later!

But PLEASE TAKE NOTE – it’s not JUST canvas that they do. They do mounting, box-framing and all sorts!

Check out some of the stuff I had made at the new 2oceansvibe Media headquarters.

Above is the massive canvas print we have in reception

Check out these other ones below. One is the white-box-frame and one is mounted. We’ve got them all over the office. All done online. Oh, there is also the canvas print of our shoot which featured in the March issue of Marie Claire..

Upload file. Choose style. Choose size. Pay. Boom!

Seriously, there is not much more to say. It’s like a dream machine!

PRINTWILD.CO.ZA

CLICK HERE and do it now. You can literally spend the next 7 minutes doing it and the print will arrive at your door in a few days time!

Raise your game – switch to manual mode..

Finally you can change that camera setting to ‘Manual’ and start taking yourself a little more seriously. It’s no wonder SA’s leading street fashion blogger, La Muse from PopYaCollar.co.za has already enrolled!

Check it out:

The course in a nutshell:

- Learn to use your digital SLR camera to its full potential and take better photographs

- Deepen your photography skills and learn to shoot in full manual mode

- Become part of an online photographer community and share work, photographs and ideas while being guided by experts.

- 10-week course presented online throughout South Africa

Results in a Certificate in Digital Photography issued by the University of Cape Town’s Centre for Film and Media Studies

Course modules:
Module 1 Getting to know your camera
Module 2 Aperture
Module 3 Shutter speed
Module 4 ISO
Module 5 Understanding light the way your camera does
Module 6 Using basic flash
Module 7 Composition
Module 8 Portraits
Module 9 Landscape
Module 10 Basic photo editing techniques

Who should attend this course?
The course is suited to both prospective photographers, who are unfamiliar with their digital SLR cameras, and current photographers who are not yet shooting in full manual mode or who want to refresh and deepen their photography skills. Students may use any type of digital SLR camera.

For more details, please contact:
Contact person: Claire
Telephone: +27 (0)21 685 4775
Email: claire@getsmarter.co.za

Check out their website HERE for more info and signup

For 10% off simply quote “2oceansvibe” when you register – note this applies only to the upcoming presentation.

“You know, it’s amazing, I actually have time to get things done now. I can actually complete admin tasks.”

I knew what he was getting at.

The majority of us are roped in to 9-5 jobs. And what time are shops and services usually open? That’s correct, from 09h00 to 17h00. So that begs the question – when the hell do we ever find the time to complete admin tasks when they come up?

There are three options. Either you don’t work from 09h00 to 17h00 (ahem), or you don’t get it done.

The third option is a lot trickier – you work a miracle. Somewhere between baby-sitting your boss’s stress levels, acknowledging the existence of your spouse and children, and bringing home the bacon, you manage to make it to that place, within business hours, to get that thing done.

But miracles like that only happen once a week – anything more and you would literally die from stress and self-loathing. So the inevitable happens. Tasks keep piling up, along with new work commitments, and the constant nagging from your parents that they don’t hear from you anymore, and then you get a speeding fine in the post, and the library sends you the twelfth snarky letter informing you that David Hasselhof’s biography is still overdue, and then your domestic executive informs you that she’s been implicated in a ponzi scheme bust and that you’re likely to be indicted, and then you have a nervous breakdown.

Just. Not. Enough. Time.

Let’s avoid all of that, mkay? Let me tell you a little secret.

Public Service Announcement: How to get things done AND live the holiday!

Toodu is an innovative service that will basically change your life.

This hot little baby is a sweet idea from a Cape Town startup that puts your to-do list to work while you get on with other more important things, like cuddling your money, or harpooning marlin off the back of a yacht.

Just put everything you need to do on your Toodu list, then sit back and let the service providers come to you.

One of the most attractive features of Toodu is that it’s free. And I especially like the fact that my contact details aren’t shared with anyone unless I want them to be. Usually I don’t.

Living the holiday has never been easier. Here’s a little peak at my Toodu list for this week.

Seth’s Toodu List

• Get back to Kim Jong Il re drinks on Wednesday.
• Get quotes on aircon for office.
• Source guy for Dolphin Aquarium construction at Safe House.
• Get tracking system for Mini Countryman.
• Renew bike drivers license for the Vespa.
• Interview prospective lion tamers for Vibe Party.

Toodu is only available for Cape Town vibers for now, but the guys assure me they’ll be rolling out digital to do lists across the rest of South Africa soon. Internet, meet humanity. Humanity, meet internet.

It’s like we were made for each other!

We’ve been renovating the new 2oceansvibe Media Head Office in the Waterkant area, and had a whole list of electrical needs – from lighting to new plugs and air conditioner ready points. I originally got a quote from another guy who completely took the piss – I honestly felt violated after reading the quote. And that was when I went to Bracken electrical. I was so impressed with their service, timeliness and pricing, that I promised to tell the world about it.

So here it is, world – if you’re in Cape town and you’re looking for an electrician, Bracken Electrical gets the 2oceansvibe double-thumbs-up! Oh, AND they know how to email! What a revelation!

Give them a shout:

Sean Bracken – 082 878 5106
Liam Bracken – 084 588 8815
Email – brackenelec@iafrica.com
Full info on the web – CLICK HERE

ps. mention 2oceansvibe if you want an even bigger discount!

I hope you are impressed with my three latest acquisition. First is the vinyl version of the one CD I had in every single car I have ever owned – INXS, ‘Live Baby Live’ – an album which sports arguably the most radical live crowd intros known to man. Track 1, side 1.

Along with that album are two other modern day essentials. ‘Day & Age,’ by The Killers and ‘Brothers,’ by The Black Keys. Needless to say the sound IS completely different – and all the better for it!

But those records aren’t even scratching the surface when it comes to what is available at ElvisShakespeare.com – go there now and you’ll be blown away. I’m happy to listen to all music digitally, but the special ones… I want to hold them… I want to touch them. And the sound… seriously… don’t even get me started.

www.elvisshakespeare.com

For those of you who are yet to acquire a vinyl player, do yourself a favour and head through to Mabu Vinyl and get equipped. Tell them you’re a 2oceansviber and you’ll get a discount too!

Think about that. I’m acting out my love for you.

Anyhow.

I was pacing through my inbox yesterday, setting fire to 427 emails that all started with “Hey, I have this great idea”, when I came upon yet another slice of spam.

“Ah, more food for the hungry trash can,” I thought to myself, out loud, as I do when I feel powerful and self-satisfied.

And literally miliseconds before I made the click to bin the piece of advertising dross, I spotted something important.

A name. A name I knew. A name many of you will know. I hadn’t heard from this name in a while.

I took a sip of Pimms, and delved into the netherworld of the email trash can, making a hasty rescue of the email.

And there it was, the name. It was tacked on to the end of a financial services advertisment. Michael Furter. Could it be? Could it be the prodigal 2oceansvibe character, The Wedding Singer?

I picked up my phone. I dropped Furter a text (please see phone rules, here). I asked if he was involved in the company in this advert.

He called me, and I answered (true story, this was a planned phone call – not one of those random ear rapes that everyone seems so keen on). Turns out he was involved in this company.

Long story short, I want you to know two things.

1) The Wedding Singer is alive and well, and he spent this last weekend sleeping on his couch.

2) He spent the whole weekend sleeping on his couch because he’s been a very busy boy setting up a company with a very similar spirit to 2oceansvibe (as 2oceansvibers do). It’s called Consequence, and it’s a financial services company that does investments, financial planning, wills, the whole shebang. Only they’re quite cool, because they’re not trying to screw you for all you’re worth, like the majority of financial services providers, and as it turns out, they don’t speak to you in Greek or ebonics, meaning you can actually understand what you’re being told, or sold, for that matter.

You now have a trusted financial services provider that falls squarely in the Vibe. I’m giving them my trust, so should you. And if you ever have any problems, you come talk to me, because that’s how the vibe operates.

Just one more part of your life made easier by 2oceansvibe. Thank me later.

Lovies

Daddy Cool (AKA Seth)

Don’t forget, if you rent a 2oceansvibe Villa when you come to Cape Town, you get to skip the queue at Caprice on Sunday nights.

Ja you heard me.

‘Madonna Chef,’ Neill Anthony offers exclusive services

Top Cape Town Chef Offers Everything From Master Class To Supper Clubs – Branded “The God Of Food” by News24′s Cathy Marston, Neill Anthony is Cape Town’s most exclusive private chef and has cooked for the likes of Madonna, the Beckhams, U2, Elton John and can now cook for you! He offers a range of bespoke services from master classes to supper clubs! Follow him on Twitter and Facebook under “Neill Anthony” and always remember to use two LL’s! [neillanthony.com]

Britney Spears’ Bodyguard Filing Sexual Harassment Lawsuit – a bodyguard who claims to have been sexually harassed by Britney Spears is filing a lawsuit today, claiming Britney repeatedly exposed herself to him. According to the suit, Fernando Flores claims, “She was wearing a white lace, see-through dress. She walked over close by, intentionally dropped her cigarette lighter on the floor, bent over to retrieve it and thereby exposed her uncovered genitals.” Hilarious! [tmz]

Rising Tide Of Acid Mine Water Threatens Johannesburg - A toxic tide of acid mine water is rising steadily beneath Johannesburg which, if left unchecked, could cause earth tremors, power blackouts and even cancer among residents. The water is currently around 600 metres below the city’s surface but is rising at a rate of between 0.4 and 0.9 metres per day, meaning it could overflow onto the streets in just under a year and a half. Stunning! [telegraph]

With a Little Help From His Friends - At 19, Sean Parker helped create Napster. At 24, he was founding president of Facebook. At 30, he’s the hard-partying, press-shy genius of social networking, a budding billionaire, and about to be famous—played by Justin Timberlake in David Fincher’s new film, The Social Network. In theaters this month, the movie purports to tell the story of Facebook’s first year, partly by focusing on a darker side of Parker’s persona. [vanityfair]

Google Debuts ‘Instant’ Search – Because nine seconds is an eternity on the internet, now you can conduct a search in a “Google Instant.” The iconic search site Wednesday unveiled the new feature on Google.com and to a packed auditorium of tech writers in San Francisco’s Museum of Modern Art — no doubt doing vanity searches to see how quickly their names came up. And they do come up fast. Google Instant is like the familiar ’suggested search’ type-ahead, but on Javascript steroids. [wired]

Piers Morgan To Fill Larry King Slot – After months of speculation, Piers Morgan, the British newspaper editor best-known to U.S. audiences as a judge on NBC’s “America’s Got Talent,” has finally completed talks to take over Larry King’s weeknight talk show on CNN. CNN, hoping to bolster its flagging prime-time lineup, has settled on Morgan after delicate and wide-ranging negotiations that cleared numerous obstacles. [latimes]

Is Caroline Wozniacki’s US Open Dress Too Short? - Caroline Wozniacki is enjoying a terrific U.S. Open. On Monday, the 20-year-old sensation ousted Maria Sharapova to advance to the quarterfinals. Her dress, which barely covered any of her legs, was noticeable to many viewers. After the match, Wozniacki was asked about the outfit during a press conference.”I think it’s nice,” she said, adding that she will “get a lot of male fans now” due to the revealing dress. No doubt.. [huffpo]

Condoleeza Rice Got Into Heated Debate With Bush During 9/11 - Condoleezza Rice has revealed that she shouted at President George Bush and banned him from returning to Washington to run the country in the chaotic few hours following the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Roughly 30 minutes after terrorists flew a second hijacked airliner into the World Trade Centre in New York, Ms Rice, then the National Security Adviser, became involved in a heated exchange with President Bush. [independent]

Russians Urged To Smoke And Drink More – What a wonderful initiative, as we cross to Moscow. Smoke and drink more, Russia’s finance minister Alexei Kudrin said to citizens on Wednesday, explaining that higher consumption would help lift tax revenues for spending on social services.“If you smoke a pack of cigarettes, that means you are giving more to help solve social problems such as boosting demographics, developing other social services and upholding birth rates.” Brilliant! [thestar]

Manual on How to Molest Children Is Legal, Cops Say – A 170-page manual explaining step by step how to molest children which police in Orange County, Fla., believe has been circulating there for months, is not illegal. Investigators have stated that they still want to know where it came from. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It was pretty amazing when I first saw it just because how detailed it was,” said Orange County Sheriff’s Office Det. Philip Graves. [abcnews]

Did Tony Blair Add Spice To A Section Of His Book? – Good artists borrow, great artists steal, and then there is the question of Tony Blair.In an article published in The Daily Telegraph of London, the screenwriter Peter Morgan suggests that an account of Mr. Blair’s first meeting with Queen Elizabeth after he became prime minister in 1997, as recounted in Mr. Blair’s memoir, “A Journey,” is at least heavily inspired by a similar scene Mr. Morgan wrote for the 2006 feature “The Queen.” [nytimes]

News Corp Is Freaking Out – “You don’t get it,” a member of News Corporation’s inner circle in London told me last night, about the phone hacking scandal. “If there was a conspiracy in the company, the conspiracy was to keep Rupert from knowing.”That is called the circle-the-wagons defense. That’s called everybody-else-is-expendable. That’s called a total freak-out. The company has been caught as on the ropes, as it ever has in its 60-year history. [michaelwolff]

Snoek Town Calling – Fans of Living Stylishly Well will be aware that our boy is taking a break from Provence and is in the Mother City with “Madame.” They took a turn at Kalk Bay’s Live Bait restaurant. “It’s September in Cape Town. It’s snoek season. Pop down to Kalk Bay harbour and envelope yourself on the sights, sounds and smells of the snoek season.” More.. [livingstylishlywell]

That’s why we are so proud of Marina and The Little Black Book who have just launched their new website, which gives an astounding showcase of everything they do (and have done – my God!) – from events, functions, PR, weddings, decor and promotions, this full-function agency’s list of successes is OUTRAGEOUS!

You should check out their website and find out more about the ridiculous list of clients and testimonials they have.

THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK – FIRST FOR CUSTOM EVENTING

The thing about Marina and The Little Black book is Marina has known virtually every one of the people and celebs on her guest list since they were kids. You can’t train someone to have connections like she has. I’ve been mates with her since I was 12, this chick IS Cape Town. Who do you think organises all The Vibe parties?

And don’t even get me started on her guest list – the mixture of sports personalities (real sports personalities) models (real models), corporates/ execs, glamorous socialites and a media list to die for, is simply off the hook! Who do you think orchestrated the recent World Cup party which Leo Di Caprio and Mick Jagger attended? Come on, man – get real!

They always over-deliver when it comes to generating media coverage and I can vouch for this from my personal experience – there are always flashbulbs and guaranteed post-event media coverage due to the excellent way Marina, Jules & Gabi (check out the team here) handle the press no matter how hectic the event. Top Billing, Showbiz Report, SKY News, Cape Times, Heat, All Access, Argus, Sunday Times – whatever, I’m getting bored – the list is too long.

You only get one shot to do it properly – don’t mess around – do yourself a favour and get in touch with THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK .

The notice requests members to “bare” with them.

Virgin Active can’t help themselves

Given the fact that your management are capable and literate (right?), is the choice to use the word “bare” rather than “bear” really necessary?

Just because Virgin Active gyms feature on most gay “cruising websites,” doesn’t mean that you should impose this penchant for same-sex casual bathroom shinanigans on the rest of us.

Or does it?

[thanks bartlett]

Remember the “alleged” tale of the Grand Daddy Valet who stole a customer vehicle and rolled it 70 kilometres away in Blue Downs?

The Grand Daddy Hotel left a comment on that story. Let’s enjoy it with our morning coffee:

A response to this post from the Grand Daddy:

It is regrettably true that this incident took place. One of our (now ex)staff illegally (and silently) took a guest’s car home to get a change of clothes. The car in question was a Mini Cooper but it is not the one pictured in the blog post – the damages in that picture are a somewhat exaggerated version of the real damage. The staff member has been arrested and criminally charged and the Grand Daddy’s insurers are currently dealing with the situation in order to settle with the car owner.

Okay so, this happened, and Grand Daddy admit the illegality of their staff’s (and therefore their own) actions. Also, the police happen to agree that the valet committed a crime. So this thing is pretty clear cut. Grand Daddy will sort the owner of the car out, right?

Sadly, not all hotels have service at the heart of their business model.

On Friday I got a somewhat troubling email from Rosanne Turner, the owner of the jacked Mini Cooper S, some of which is posted here.

Rosanne picks up with the tragic narrative the day after her car was wrecked by a Grand Daddy employee. As Black Beard would say, “Woe betide thee not to listen, for tharrr be lessons!”

Sergio [Dreyer - Grand Daddy Manager] gave us a letter stating that the hotel would take full responsibility, and that he would ensure that we would not be out of pocket or inconvenienced in any way by this incident.

We now had no transport. I am a travel writer, and had to be in Simonstown on an assignment at 8:30 the next morning. The hotel arranged for a taxi to take me there.

The next morning, we found out that the car had been towed back to the hotel. My husband met with the police to file a report, while I was on my assignment.
Again, another manager Francois van Binsbergen assured me that the matter would be dealt with swiftly. The hotel arranged a hire car for us to get back to Hermanus, and use for a limited time until our car was sorted out.

The next week, I got a call from Jody Aufrigtig, the owner of the hotel. He said that he was shocked by the incident, and guaranteed me that all would be dealt with swiftly, and I was not to worry.

A story on the incident was published on page 10 of the Argus on 20 April 2010, and also on the IOL website. See link here.

In the report, the management confirms the incident happened, as does the police detective. I am not sure how the Argus got to hear of the incident, as it was not from me.
So far so good. At this stage, although very upset by the incident, I am not worried, as I have been guaranteed on several occasion both in writing and verbally that all will be sorted out.

Then things start to take a turn. Ten days later, the hotel’s insurance assessor has still not been to view the car. I follow up (but never harass) approximately every 3 days, either by phone or email, and so does my attorney.
Suddenly the hotel would not return my calls or emails. Manager Sergio Dreyer informed me that the attorney representing their insurance had instructed them not to talk to me.
6 weeks later, I made a call to claim via my insurance, as I was without a vehicle, as the hotel recalled the hire car, and I still did not know what was happening with my car. What I did know, was that the quote to repair it amounts to just below R100 000.

My insurance eventually paid out (less my excess of R9500). The car was a write off.

Some facts:

Yes, we did sign a disclaimer for the valet parking. But, this refers only to the car being parked, so a reasonable radius would be within 2km – should the hotel have off site parking. It does NOT cover the fact that the vehicle was taken, without my consent, by a staff member of the hotel, who had access to my keys, and being driven a vast distance away – for his own personal reasons. The fact that I received a letter from the hotel stating that they take full responsibility, overrides this disclaimer anyway. The hotel owner may argue the fact that the manager did not have the authority to give me such a letter. However, I was led to believe that he did have such authority, as Sergio told me he did.

The fact that the hotel’s insurance doesn’t want to cover them for the incident is irrelevant to me. This is not simply a motor accident claim, but rather a negligence claim against the hotel. Their answer constantly is that they are waiting instruction from their insurance. (we were informed by their insurance that they would not be paying out which is why we eventually claimed from our insurance).
I also have my lawyers fees to cover, as well as being out of pocket by the excess on my insurance.

So the hotel’s original promise of not being inconvenienced or out of pocket in any way, is not being met.

Peachy, eh? And one other thing. Rosanne is a travel writer, and when the Grand Daddy’s attorneys heard about this they apparently threatened a defamation suit against her if any of these details saw the light of day.

Well here’s an education for Grand Daddy’s lawyers:Defamation of Character can only be pursued when untruths are published. So far the Grand Daddy hotel has admitted on a number of ocassions to the events as told above. Hmmm. Tough one to claim then, you’d think.

Well there you have it.

I contacted the Grand Daddy for comment before posting this, and Sergio Dreyer called back and told me that the Grand Daddy was still awaiting official comment from its insurers. As soon as I get comment, I’ll be more than happy to update this post. Evem better, please feel free to leave your response as a comment below this article (as you did before).

You know, Grand Daddy Hotel, I’d like to tell you what I think of you, but you’d probably sue me. What I can say is this: if this is all true then I suggest you take responsibility for your screw ups. You’ll probably find that people forget mistakes that are humbly acknowledged more readily than pouty-faced blame shifting. Although I’m not actually saying the Grand Daddy itself is pouty-faced, per se. I mean, a building can’t pout. But you get what I’m saying.

Also maybe call off the dogs, okay Jody? And then perhaps see to Rosanne. Just forget all the legal jargon for a second. Do what you planned on doing before the share holders and per hour attorneys started whispering in your ear – the RIGHT thing

But nevermind all of that. Rosanne is a tough woman, and she’ll keep on living without her wrecked Mini Cooper S, probably for anything between another 50 to 70 years. I’ll just be sure to always take my money bags some place else, and probably wouldn’t recommend a stay at the Grand Daddy to anyone I care about.

It’s a nice place, sure, but don’t get unlucky, or it seems you might get double-screwed.

It’s a grand thing to have choice in this town.

UPDATE: For those of you don’t feel like reading the comments section, this is The Grand Daddy Hotel Management response:

We are surprised at the version given by Mrs Turner and are disappointed that she now appears to be involving the media in an endeavour to defame us and to harm our reputation. Her article and the version she has given is not correct in various respects and fails to mention important details such as all we have done to resolve the matter amicably. Good faith endeavours were made from our side at the outset to resolve this matter amicably and these good faith endeavours are continuing. As Mrs Turner has been compensated by her insurance company already, this matter must be resolved involving her insurance company, who is required to claim from the Grand Daddy’s insurance company. This is an insurance procedure hence the Grand Daddy’s staff needing to refer the matter to insurers and lawyers. Mrs Turners attack on our reputation in the media is unnecessary, belligerent and without merit.

Seriously – there is no end to what you can do.

It’s basically just all a big joke.

COLLARANDCUFF.CO.ZA

And those of you who don’t get it – it’s cool – don’t get upset, it’s just not for you..

Cape Town Tourism has launched a Facebook Fan Page for those who love Cape Town to stay up to date with all the news, what’s on and places to see in Cape Town, click here to become a fan and write on the wall, post a photo or just see what the other 60,000 fans have to say about Cape Town!

Why?

Because Cape Town is awesome – that’s why..

Yes, ladies and gents, we’re talking about free Wi-Fi.

We recently ran a story on Skyrove’s offering of free Wi-Fi in Green Market Square, Cape Town. Things have developed ever so slightly.

A rival company, HipZone (of Vida e Wi-Fi fame) has gone and thrown down the broadband gauntlet by hooking up visitors to the V&A Waterfront with 25MB free Wi-Fi internet access per day.

The service will be available from early June (we’re assuming that means “now”) and will continue into the foreseeable future.

Hopefully we’ll see a little tit-for-tat in the coming months in the public spaces Wi-Fi game.

Anyone feel like offering 30MBs?

[source : SA Good News]

I received an update of the new 2oceansvibe Villas properties and I must say, they knocked my socks clean off. We now have properties available in Mauritius for you to rent -as well as some new killer options in Camps Bay!

Check out this one in Mauritius – for as low as R1,916 a night! For a three bed? With daily housekeeping included! That’s ridiculous – so for six people you’ll be paying R320 a night per person. Shame, haven’t they made it easy enough for you? And it’s a peach too – check it out:

Umm.. yes please!

Villa Alira is a beautifully positioned villa located right next to The Paradis and Dinarobin Hotels and within close proximity to Le Morne kitesurfing spot and the white sandy beaches of Le Morne.

The house comprises a large garden with its own private pool, sun-loungers and a large open terrace, perfect for outdoor living.

Inside, the property enjoys a large, open plan lounge and dining room which leads to a fully equipped kitchen and the bedrooms, which are located at the rear of the house.

The master bedroom has its own en-suite bathroom and four poster bed, while the second double bedroom shares a large bathroom with the annexed twin bedroom.

The house is a perfect combination between luxury, position and affordability and is one of the most popular properties on the Easyrent portfolio.

[more here]

And here’s a new one in Camps Bay – looks pretty sweet hey?

Back in “The Bay”

The imposing three-level Sea and Rock villa reflects its name as it occupies a mountainside site with superb seascape views over Camps Bay. The dimensions of this commodious retreat are most generous, sleeping up to eighteen, especially in respect of expansive decking areas being as large as the adjoining interior floor space. Pergolas, controlled-water fed pot planting and a large ying and yang-shaped Zen garden furnish what are essentially outdoor rooms. The design reflects the environmental textures of its rocky backdrop while maximising exterior living space and incorporating saltwater pools and jacuzzis.

The ingenious versatility of this six-bedroom villa/ one bedroom apartment is its ability to function as either three separate apartments, each sleeping six on self-contained floors, a main home and guest storey, each with its own pool and jacuzzi, or as one triple-level villa interconnected with and accessible from each level via steep stone steps. The design is wrought in indigenous natural materials of signature ‘balau’ timber decking and in the interior travertine tiling and caesar-stone. The villa is environmentally-friendly in minimising water use by means of an electronically controlled watering system, rain-water tank irrigation recycling and rooftop solar panels.On the first level above the garage and storage rooms, the guest suite/master bedroom opens onto a very large deck and unique feature of a swirling pebble and grass-effect Zen-style garden of cacti plants and quartz boulders.

[More here]

“Tick all the boxes,” basically!

I find it hysterical when property descriptions boast by calling the property “imposing!” It’s hilarious! And awesome. All at the same time!

So there you have it, my loves – and that is only the beginning! Go to www.2oceansvibe VILLAS.com and check out the rest – there is something for everyone!

I tell you, “living the holiday” has never been easier.

It’s basically the ultimate Camps Bay one-bedroom suite!

The Cams Bay Terrace Suite

Check it out:

The ultimate one bedroom accommodation in Camps Bay, the Suite Apartment offers the perfect retreat for a couple looking for some privacy, be it a honeymoon or just some time together. The apartment has fantastic views of Bakoven Bay, the Twelve Apostles and the Atlantic. It has an en-suite bedroom, lounge and open plan dining room and kitchen.

A separate entrance provides access from off-street parking on Camps Bay Drive via a flight of stairs opening up fantastic views over Bakoven Bay. This entrance patio has a full complement of garden furniture and a barbeque, and is the perfect place for alfresco dining and being out of the midday sun. A large sliding door gives direct access from the lounge.

Inside, the lounge is well furnished with a sofa, two casual chairs and a coffee table. Satellite television, a DVD player and a small selection of books will keep you entertained. The dining area and open plan kitchen are adjacent to the lounge, and make the entire apartment perfect for casual entertaining and living.

Shame

Very kak

The kitchen is fully equipped with quality appliances including glass-top hob, under-counter oven, fridge-freezer, microwave oven, dishwasher, washing machine and tumble dryer. The bedroom is comfortably furnished in modern style with a queen-sized bed. The en-suite bathroom has toilet, basin, bath and overhead shower.

If you do want to get a tan, the bedroom opens up onto a protected sun terrace with a solar-heated splash pool. Two modern sun loungers are the perfect place to lie and soak up the African sunshine.

The apartment is in a fantastic location, within an easy four-minute stroll to the beach and the Camps Bay Promenade with its many restaurants and bars, live music and theatre. It is not suited for guests with walking problems as it is accessed by stairs.

Included:

Daily Servicing: Monday – Saturday except Public Holidays

Laundry Service

Concierge Service

All Linen and Towels

Pool Towels

Toiletries
Satellite TV

[more here + pics]

That’s pretty sweet, I must say!

Or should I say “suite?”

Sorry – worst joke of the year….

So, to recap : 35% off advertised rates for the dates 30 April to 6 May or 20% discount on advertised rates from 11 to 14 May!

CLICK HERE to check out more pics and info about that suite.

CLICK HERE for the whole of 2oceansvibe Villas.

See, we told you it was the era of the instanet. Mweb offers cheap uncapped ADSL, and all of a sudden businesses everywhere are freaking out, losing their heads in acts of reckless generosity as they bring South Africa up to speed with the global village.

Like Skyrove, who’ve gone and hooked Capetonians up with free, that’s right FREE wireless internet in Greenmarket square for the next six months.

“Goodness gracious!”, I hear you say. “But how much are they giving us!?” you exclaim with one of those half-question, half-statement things.

OK, get ready. Promise you won’t freak out. PROMISE.

Okay.

Ready? Here it is…

…

… ….

…

10 megabytes. 10 MEGABYTES!!! Someone pinch me.

Wow, with that, I could almost afford to navigate to the Skyrove site to read up on their business, and how I too might make use of their services as a paying client.

Almost. But in between my cappucino and haggling with a hawker, I’d hit the 10 megabyte cap.

10 megabytes. Douchebags.

[source : MediaUpdate]

Sis, don’t be rude – I know you’ve come very close to seeing my other package, but that’s not the one I’m talking about!

  
MWEB’s latest offering – uncapped broadband

Ok so as you can imagine, I chow through quite a lot of data – around 25Gb a month. Now that’s a helluva lot, even for small to medium sized companies, but it’s not just for my surfing and email needs. Now pay attention – I promise you need to hear this and will be glad you listened.

A while back we chatted about iTunes and how you can get a US account for your media needs – allowing you access to all the American music and movies and apps available on iTunes (our local offering features close on f-all). Then what you do is you buy iTunes vouchers with your normal credit card (US iTunes account won’t allow foreign credit cards) and redeem then via iTunes. Morally I don’t have a problem with this – the people who produced the media are being paid, and it’s better than the only other alternative which is stealing it for free online. But I’m not getting into that debate (if there is one?) right now.

All of that said, my incredibly large data usage comes from the fact that each movie on iTunes is about one gig. So I’ve got an Apple TV (you can get them at Digicape) connected to my plasma (and linked to my US iTunes account) which let’s me buy or rent movies (or TV shows) instantly ($3.99 to rent – around R30 – and a little bit more if you want HD). You don’t even need computer with this thing. I choose a movie, watch the trailer, click “ok” to pay and it starts playing the movie after 30 seconds (minimal buffer required with the 4Mb line). Obviously you could do this all with a slower line, you will just have to wait longer.

I don’t have that kind of time.

Over the last two week I paid for and watched The Bounty Hunter, An Education, The Hurt Locker, Food Inc., Precious, Zombieland, Up In The Air, The Informant and Bad Lieutenant – all of which are either on the local circuit, or haven’t got there yet. At a gig a piece, I would have been paying an extra R70 a movie with Telkom – and that’s before you factor in all the surfing and Weather Girls videos and downloads and all the crap you send me!

I listen to Johnny Vaughan on London’s Capital FM online through streaming audio and I speak to my friends and family for hours on Skype. I also receive some emails which are 20Mb in size and I don’t bat an eyelid.

I downloaded an 8Mb file the other day and it took 16 seconds. I was with Dave from Goldfish – ask him about it when you see him. He nearly shat himself.

This is where we are, guys. Seriously, get with it.

Get an uncapped broadband line at your place and start off with a normal (what you’re used to) speed like 512kbps. WITH line rental it costs R599. If you have an EXISTING Telkom line, it’s only R299 a month. Then you keep that line with Telkom and switch your data over to MWEB.

They have cheaper and slower than that available, but I’m afraid I won’t allow it.

I had a 4Mb Telkom account but switched over to MWEB and kept the Telkom line. So all I am paying MWEB is R539 a month (plus theTelkom 4Mb line for R362 a month). I’m saving over a grand a month.

Switching over from the existing Telkom vibe to MWEB took, literally, half an hour. I was on the phone to the MWEB guy and he told me exactly what to do. Then I called Telkom and cancelled my data, but kept the line. Honestly, it was too easy.

If you don’t think you need it, that’s because you’ve never had it. You’re just as restricted in your thinking as you are with your internet access. Which kind of makes sense if you look at where the world is right now. You cannot afford to carry on the way you are. You WILL get left behind. FACT. You simply cannot afford to stay in the dark any longer.

Grow up – get an uncapped MWEB account, and enjoy the revelation.

But now, through 2oceansvibe Villas, and for the most discerning individuals, The Castle is available alongside other quality properties for exclusive short term Cape Town holiday villa rentals.

The Castle

Have you made work a sideline? Are you living the holiday?

“The Castle” – available for premium holiday rentals at 2oceansvibe Villas

Gracious and commodious living is afforded in this eight-storey residence of imposing splendour. The property is an uncompromising architectural statement occupying three consecutive plots in the most sought-after secluded location on Nettleton Road. Suspended on the edge of the hillside, one enters the residence on the sixth floor as greeted by two Chinese terracotta warrior replicas framing the entrance.

Four metre high ceilings and half-metre deep cornices frame eclectic interiors of self-consciously untraditional taste accommodating collections of both distinguished local contemporary furniture by Pierre Cronje and French antique pieces from the Dordogne. The South African architectural designer Craig Kaplan is responsible for the elegant proportions of the upper three living floors that house distinguished European and such local artwork as by Francois Krige in addition to choice chinoiserie designed around a grand central staircase.

The design was conceived to provide ever-changing framed vistas that open up the property to the exterior from all angles. The opulence is underscored by rich fabric hangings and silk rugs contrasting with deep mahogany and warm walnut wood tones.

CLICK HERE for more

More images..

Welcome home

Chill out..

Sleep tight

“The Castle” – available for premium Cape Town holiday rentals at 2oceansvibe Villas.

For those of you who have followed Seth and 2oceansvibe.com over the last eight years, you will not need to be convinced of the extreme levels of service and standards that would need to be reached before allowing a particular villa to be presented to you and rental agent to engage with you.

2oceansvibe Villas is the premier vacation rental provider on Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard. All of our properties are exclusively managed and controlled, and we handle every aspect of our guest’s stay, from the first email through to the final check-out. Your personal hospitality consultant will take care of your reservation, and will be on hand to personally welcome you to your property in Cape Town, and will be at your service for the duration of your stay, to help ensure that you get the most out of your vacation.

Check out 2oceansvibe Villas and find your Cape Town Villa to rent!

The nice thing is they are giving you the opportunity to learn from your mistakes and might even refuse entry to the club if you become a repeat offender.

  
Rabid Ramblings From Virgin Active Management
Repeat offenders will be punished

Excellent vibe they’re going for there.

It’s interesting to note that 2oceansvibe is not available on the Virgin Active computers, due to our use of the word “fuck” from time to time (not unlike News24, whom we praise for such progressiveness).   

Oh the hypocrisy! As the word “fuck” is being carried out as a verb (a “doing” word), in real life, right inside the hallowed holes halls of Virgin Active! If only there was some kind of firehol firewall to block that kind of lewd activity!

It’s interesting to note that Virgin’s current ad campaign, “What Moves Me,” is targeting the whole family. I very much doubt that gay sex in the loos is something mother would want little Johnny exposed to?

I think the most mind-blowing thing about this, is the fact that they have posted up a sign in the gym. So people that didn’t know it was going on, are now fully aware.

Very clever.

[thanks matt]

I gotta be honest, it doesn’t get much easier to find deals around Cape Town. My boys at www.nobucks.co.za have absolutely NAILED IT with their website which documents where and when various booze and food specials are going on around Cape Town. I simply clicked today’s date and it gave me a list of various promotions running at different establishments around the Mother City.

These are tough times, my friends – don’t be shy to box smart..

www.nobucks.co.za

Go to www.nobucks.co.za and click the calendar and scroll through the list. It really is disgusting how easy they’ve made it! Something inside me tells me that it shouldn’t be this easy.

But we’ll just ignore that vibe.

You’ll see the 2oceansvibe logo while you’re there. That’s because the service they are providing encourages the art of “Living The Holiday.”

Get in there.

Enjoy it.

You know the party is going to be big when the venue was chosen specifically for its size – so as to accommodate the sheer number of people!

What am I talking, you ask? Oh nothing, just “THE VIBE” – a party in Camps Bay brought to you by 2oceansvibe and Marina’s Little Black Book. Everybody will be there, trust me. All the rock stars. All the schlebs. All the jocks. All the schmodels. All the geeks. All the TV stars. All the film stars. All the party people.

The whole vibe and nothing but the vibe, so help me God!

And that includes South Africa’s HOTTEST party DJ’s on the scene at the moment – THE WEDDING DJ’s will be taking this party into the stratosphere!

CLICK HERE TO SECURE YOUR TICKET
Get there soon – tickets are limited!

For those of you who have never heard of the Wedding DJ’s (pffft!) do yourself a favour and ask your friends about them. You have NEVER had more fun than at a party with these guys playing. Seriously, just ask someone. Do it – they’ll back me up 100% And it’s not weird doof-doof trance/whatever music – it’s the stuff you LOVE. Get-up-and-party music!

It’s gonna be off the chain! Be there and I promise you will never forget it.

CLICK HERE FOR FACEBOOK PAGE

CLICK HERE TO SECURE YOUR TICKET

Get there soon – tickets are limited!

x

Including these two:

2oceansvibe Jobs

2oceansvibe Villas

As much as I would love to claim it, I did not make the banner ads. I just used the same peeps I have always used for my banner design work. So grab a pen and write this down, so I won’t have to tell you again.

They’re called 100 Volts and they specialise in web banner advertising. I’ve been using them for ages and recommend you do the same. Seriously, stop wasting your money on web exposure with ads that don’t get the message across properly. You spend all that money on the ad space, and then you cock it up with the wrong ad?? Weird. Just because your “in-house” designers can add a tan to a model’s pic in photoshop, doesn’t mean they know how to sell a product in a 468×60 space. It’s like flushing money down the toilet..

And don’t even get me started on how easy it would be for foreign clients in the UK and US to get their banner ads done by 100 Volts. Why would you not? It’s the digital age, baby..

These guys are EXPERTS at getting the message across online and they’re the ONLY guys I use. 100 Volts are very reasonably priced as well and, even so, I’m sure you’ll get a further discount if you mention 2oceansvibe

Check out their website here and stop dicking around.

Well check this out:

2oceansvibe Jobs

For a limited time only, 2oceansvibe Jobs is offering job advertisers and recruitment companies three FREE ads when registering for the first time.

Pretty cool!

And to the job candidates out there – don’t forget that you can store multiple CV’s on 2oceansvibe Jobs and even include a YouTube video of yourself when you apply to jobs!

More about that here.

Go get ‘em, crazy people!

CLICK HERE for 2oceansvibe Jobs

I’ve been getting a lot of attention about two things lately. My new shades, and the shirts I’ve been throwing around. People say that I have been “killing it” and they want to know where the goods are from. Look, that’s fair enough..

So instead of having to tell each and every one if you individually, I thought I’d throw this article together, giving you the required information.

I thought I’d go for the “ooooh-mouth” model look for this shot. With my hands up, showing that I’m ready for action. Cautious, but happy to give it a go. Like when Kevin Bacon said “jump back!” in Footloose.

Those of you with weak hearts are urged to cover one eye when looking at the following image.

Ooooooh!

Indeed, the little switch from Ray Ban is significant, although not altogether surprising. As one of 2oceansvibe’s premium sponsors, Sunglass Hut offer virtually every sunglass brand, not just Ray Ban. That’s why I thought I’d give the Ferragamo’s a bash. Or, if you really want to push it, say the whole brand name – Salvatore Ferragamo. Say that out aloud. You’ll immediately feel sexy.

The second item on the agenda is the shirt. I honestly don’t know where to start. these guys are our most recent premium sponsor and, as with all our sponsors that get accepted, I’m proud to have them on board. They’re called “Collar and Cuff” and here’s the scoop:

Collar and Cuff Shirts delivers an age old tradition of excellent service and craftsmanship, and presents it on a modern interactive platform. Allowing men and women the ability to create their own individual appearance and style. Collar and Cuff clients will enjoy the personal shopping experience we offer, resulting in a perfectly fitted and designed tailored shirt.

Combining the finest 100% cotton, including premium range and 2 ply Italian shirting fabrics, along with the best components from buttons to threads, we not only maintain the very best in shirt making methods but also pride ourselves on our impeccable quality control. We proudly stand by the fact that our bespoke shirts will fit perfectly and are a pleasure to wear.

The website is INCREDIBLE. They let you tailor make your shirt and choose everything from the style of collar and cuffs, to the fabric of the shirt, as well as the lining. You can even add detail (like I did) including your initials or a different thread for the top button. My first three shirts arrived and they are RIDICULOUSLY awesome. I am yet to not receive a comment when wearing them publicly.

And the packaging…my God, it even comes with a proper red wax seal!

Naughty!

Come now..

You see, that’s what I’m talking about. Why would they not be an approved 2oceansvibe brand?

So I hope that helps. Check out the Collar & Cuff website and tailor make your own shirt.

I’m currently working with the owner on the ultimate white shirt. It will be called the “2oceansvibe Shirt” and will have all those little extra’s that you wish you had. Like a slightly shorter back length to the shirt – so you can wear the shirt tucked in, or out.

Will let you know when it’s ready.

You’re welcome.

Apparently he heads off on a daily run during lunch time and, using his camera phone and Twitter vibe, let’s YOU guide him where to run and Tweets the pics of whatever landmark you gave him, to prove he went there! I know, it’s GENIUS!

So he kicked off this morning with this pitcure and tweet to get us going:

@YourLunchRun tweets: “DeWaal drive forest strewn with dossing Bergies.
See the Bridge in background?
Links white Suburbs to District 6″

My childhood passion for radio-controlled toys came alive, as I thought about various landmarks in the vicinity.

“Aah!” I thought to myself, “there’s a KFC a couple km’s down the road.”

So I tweeted him, “Hey @yourlunchrun, there’s a KFC down the road. Try get a pic of that.”

No shit, a few minutes later I got this:

@YourLunchRun tweets: “Geeez had to hustle but here you go @2oceansvibe“

Oh my God! This guy is amazing! This is like the best game I’ve ever played.

I was addicted. What else could I make him do? Where else could I make him go?

Then it hit me… WEMBLEY SQUARE! I’ll send him King James ad agency which is upstairs in Wembley Square. I sent him a tweet, copying in @mybrandedlifetm, who is the “Group Head” at King James.

“Hey @yourlunchrun, how about getting a pic of the King James receptionist upstairs at Wembley Square? @mybrandedlife“

To which he responded:

“Half naked and heading to KJames. @mybrandlifetm 1x glass water please.

It was just too good to be true!

Suddenly there was another update.. our boy was clearly en route as he took in the sights and sounds of Roeland Street, including Viglietti Motors, Cape Town’s Ferrari dealership.

@YourLunchRun tweets: “Spotted en route. Bollisimo.”

Not long now… as 2oceansvibe held it’s collective breath..

And the it arrived, more pure and beautiful than you could ever imagine! The Lunch Runner had gone and done it!

This was his tweet..

@YourLunchRun tweets: “Found the King James lovelies.
AND that glass of water – result.
Surprised to see a roof.”

I enjoyed his chirp about the King James / Wembley Square roof which blew off recently in that radical storm we had. CLICK HERE for a reminder of that.

So there you have it. And, judging by his recent tweets, he is running again TODAY! And he is starting at Gallows Hill – AKA the Green Point Traffic Department! this is what he said:

“Friday run will start at Gallows Hill Traffic Department. Heading past ‘The Stadium’ area. LunchTime of course!”

Be sure to follow him at @yourlunchrun and get involved! Let HIM do YOUR run for you!

12h30 today!

And the second is this, the launch of 2oceansvibe Villas – Cape Town’s finest selection of holiday accommodation and villa and apartment rentals throughout the year. This, naturally, allows the second part of the slogan to come true – “Live the holiday!”

With over 200 listings online, whether you’re looking for something small to be used as a base, or something grand and extravagant to share with family and friends, we have it all.

CLICK HERE for 2oceansvibe Villas

2oceansvibe takes pride as one of Cape Town’s most well-loved and trusted brands – a brand which has been built over the the last eight years. A brand synonymous with Cape Town and a brand which represents the good life, good times and above all, trust and integrity.

2oceansvibe Villas is the premier vacation rental provider on Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard. All of our properties are exclusively managed and controlled, and we handle every aspect of our guest’s stay, from the first email through to the final check-out. Your personal hospitality consultant will take care of your reservation, and will be on hand to personally welcome you to your property in Cape Town, and will be at your service for the duration of your stay, to help ensure that you get the most out of your Cape Town vacation.

Because that’s how you roll..

For those of you who have followed Seth and 2oceansvibe.com over the last eight years, you will not need to be convinced of the extreme levels of service and standards that would need to be reached before allowing a particular villa to be presented to you and rental agent to engage with you.

I’ll tell you something else. Because we only do things when they can be done properly, you should know that the backend system behind the 2oceansvibe Villas website is one of the most sophisticated in the world. The system even allows for real-time availability checks (previously unheard of!) and pin-point locators on Google Maps and Google Earth!

Book your stay in Cape Town with 2oceansvibe Villas, and experience a private, relaxing and pampered holiday in South Africa. The kind of holiday that Seth Rotherham would expect.

Our team can’t wait to welcome you to your dream holiday.

See you at Caprice!

In the meantime, check out www.2oceansvibevillas.com and get lost in the selection of awesome Cape Town Holiday villas!

*Please note that 2oceansvibe Villas is run as a completely separate division to the original 2oceansvibe.com. Any contact that needs to be made with regards to accommodation rentals in Cape Town and anything to do with 2oceansvibe Villas, should be made via the contact information on the 2oceansvibe Villas website www.2oceansvibevillas.com.

The front page packs a punch and is written, sarcastically, in the first person. Kicking off with a friendly “Hi There!” under what is understood to be a picture of this person, Stephanie Kohler.

Please note image has been distorted for use on 2oceansvibe
CLICK HERE to see website and full clear picture

The website goes on to detail previous dealings with the website’s subject, Stephanie Kohler, mentioning a number of incidents where clients were misled and allegedly had their money stolen. Apparently the clients (presumably the creators of the website) paid her (Stephanie Kohler) for a trip, but she neglected to pay the money to the hotel they were going to be staying at. This resulted in the clients arriving at their destination with no-one having heard of them.

Research into the website’s WHOIS information reveals the owner (supposed creator of the website) is a gentleman by the name of Saul Kropman.

The website first rose to prominence on Tuesday the 5th of Jan when the web address was tweeted by SA Twitter user @saulkza (that must be Saul).

This was the tweet:

With over 1,000 “followers” on his Twitter account, it wasn’t long before the tweet was “re-tweeted” over and over again, eventually going viral.

Further research into Saul’s other online concerns included the discovery of his blog The Outlet, as well as the massively popular weekly online podcast, The Digital Edge. It is not known if Saul will be using the power of his podcast to further broadcast his reservations about the woman in question.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out, I think you would agree. So head on through to www.stephaniekohler.co.za and decide for yourself. You’ll notice the website goes even further and displays her phone numbers and email addresses, as well as scanned images of all of her company documents, with ID number etc. Combined with accusations including the “issuing of fake airline tickets,” it really is something to behold.

We tried to contact the subject of the attack for comment and she has not returned our emails.

Perhaps you’ve had any similar experiences that you would like to discuss?

They say that there are two sides to every story, so you should feel free to use the comments section below to express yourself. With the World Cup coming to SA in only a few months, any allegations of travel fraud and the like are a concern to all South Africans and should be urgently and fairly discussed, in an open online forum.

God bless.

[thanks frans]

“Find a job, Live the holiday” is where it’s at, as 2oceansvibe Jobs offers something for everyone. From Chartered Accountants and Film Industry Camera Men, to restaurant Waiters and part-time Personal Assistants, this is the place to be. The site is designed for people/recruiters to place ads for vacant job positions. Potential candidates can then apply for those jobs!

www.2oceansvibejobs.com
or jobs.2oceansvibe.com

The site is very clean and simple to use, with a powerful behind-the-scenes system which has been developed by the country’s best.

Only jobs can be searched on the site, not people.

Job advertisers and recruiters are able to place jobs online for a small fee (pay smoothly and immediately online) and get their vibe exposed to the intrepid, cool, intelligent 2oceansvibe community.

Job seekers, on the other hand, can register for free and apply to whatever jobs they want. With that login and profile, you can store multiple CV’s, as well as your photograph and vital statistics. But wait for it – that’s not all.

When applying for a job, you can select which CV you want to send and, when the job advertiser receives the email, it has your CV attached as a document, your photo in the email and the job reference number automatically in the subject line. But enjoy this: if you have a short introductory YouTube video of yourself (with the video embed code stored in your profile), a link will appear in the job application email – sending the recruiter to your video – giving you the edge on everyone else!

To reiterate, you can make a short 10-20 second introductory video of yourself (like this) and then you can copy the “embed code” (you’ll see this underneath the aforementioned example) into your 2oceansvibe Jobs profile and then, every time you apply for a job, it will be included in the email that is sent to the job advertiser!

I know – very progressive!

So either you apply with just your CV and a photo OR you give yourself a head start over the others with a quick video showing them how presentable and nice and cool you are. Depending on the job you’re going for, pouting may well be encouraged.

So, whether you’re looking for someone to hire, or you’re looking for a job, head on down to www.2oceansvibejobs.com or jobs.2oceansvibe.com and see what’s going down! There are already tons of jobs on offer, from Online Sales Consultants, Architects, Travel Consultants, Lecturers and Ushers, to Personal Assistants, Brand Promoters, Proof Readers and Barista’s!

Because 9-to-5 is not our vibe!

*Respected recruitment companies are invited to make use of our free introductory offer to place suitable jobs on the site. Email jobs@2oceansvibe.com

*Telkom broadband Users may experience some bugs and images not laoding. If so, change your Proxy setting from “auto” to manual “dsl-cache.saix.net” and port “8080″

* Another thing to try if you get any errors, is https://jobs.2oceansvibe.com

So many questions, but they’re not questions that you have to answer. Because you’re better than that. You’re a 2oceansviber and I will take care of you. Come here, hold daddy’s hand..

A queue
..very similar to those found at the Traffic Department

The Photographer is famous for coming up with the most outlandish ideas and suggestions, very often without actual reasoning or the support of logic. That was all wiped clean, as I followed through on a suggestion he gave me, to do with the renewal of my bike licence.

“Andy,” I asked, “do you know what time the Traffic Department opens?”

“Umm, It’s either nine or nine thirty,” he replied.

“Hmm, not ideal – that half an hour could be the difference between me taking my life or not”

“Why do you want to know? Do you have to pay your fines?” he asked.

“Nought. For my effing scooter licence renewal. For a new licence disc.”

“Why don’t you pay online?”

“Don’t be silly, Andrew, you can’t pay online.”

“Yes you can.”

“No you can’t.”

“Yes you can. I did.”

“Andrew, do you promise that you paid yours online?”

“Yes, I promise!”

And so he want on to tell me how it works. I kind of listened to him but didn’t want to get excited until I did it and it actually worked.

It did.

Quite simply, my fine feathered friends, all you have to do is call the number on the licence renewal form (mine was 0860 103089) and give them your vehicle registration number (licence plate). Then you tell them that you want to pay online. The person on the other end will give you their bank details and a unique reference number. Then you go to your online banking website and pay them, using the reference number they gave you to indicate on their statement that you have paid.

I swear to God, it’s true.

I did it.

It works.

Work is a sideline, Live the holiday..

I tell you what, between Apple products and these guys, life couldn’t be easier.

David, the owner of Caprice gave me no option but to attend a party at Caprice on Saturday night last week. And off I went. Or rather, the crew and I were fetched in one of those ridiculously over-the-top limos with neon lights inside and lazers and DVD screens. In a word?…ludicrous.

Very kak sunset that night..

Keep on rolling baby, you know what time it is..

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t fun. Make no mistake, it’s in another league to the ones they use for matriek balls – with dried body fluids knotting the deep pile carpets. No, no – this one was good clean fun! So we got out of the thing at Caprice and there were camera’s and microphones and all sorts of shit. I think there was also a red carpet. What exactly was going on, I don’t know. Something to do with Jamesons. Either way, we got a stunning table in the 20′s (know your Caprice table numbers, people) and the booze arrived.

The booze was consumed and more came. I stretched out my arm to show Hanneli a photograph on my iPhone and….whoops, the motherfucker fell into an ice bucket. An ice bucket with melted ice in it..

i.e. water. (sometimes you have to spell it out)

Photo taken just before the incident
We were marveling at that angel’s short jean pant.
We approved..

Now you know when there is an emergency and someone is about to die and everyone in the room freezes? Ja, it was like that. I whipped it out and started shaking it.

WATER was coming out of it.

“MY CHIIIIILD!!!!” I screamed, looking up to the heavens, arms outstretched.

“Oh, Jesus, God noooooo,” I pleaded, as The Muse rubbed my back, explaining to those around that whathadjusthappened was very much equal to the loss of a loved one. To me.

I drank the pain away and the next day I called Digicape, who told me what I knew already – about the guys that operate in secret, somewhere near to Mabu Vinyl . They have to be near to Mabu Vinyl, because Mabu Vinyl is where you deliver the thing AND where you pick it up – virtually ALWAYS fixed. I remember using them once before for an iPod which had a dead battery.

No-one SEES these people that fix the things. All you get is an invoice at the end from “iFix iPod Repairs.” Their logo is an oldschool iPod (chunky) with “iFix” on the screen.

I lOVE that vibe. They’re holed up inside some kind of Safe House nearby, where all they do is fix iPods and iPonies and anything that starts with an “i.” There are rumours that they use a team of abused Cambodian children who have no other option but to fix iPods. Apparently they live on memory chips, so it all kind of works out fine. But no-one has photographic evidence, so it can’t be true.

Either way, it’s very cool.

So anyway, let’s get back to the story. Let’s look at this in order of events..

I dropped the iPhone into the ice bucket on Saturday night.

On Sunday the screen was blank and it had dried a bit. I plugged it into my very sexual Macbook Pro, looking for a miracle and SOMEHOW the Macbook managed to talk to the iPhone and it synchronised…

I don’t know exactly what it did, but I took the iPhone to these guys on Monday.

I hacked my way through the week with your classic “piece of shit” phone and then, on Thursday, I got an email telling me it was FIXED. It had to be completely wiped as well but, you know, collateral damage is a reality.

Very naughty.

I picked it up on my way to the Invictus premiere which I attended with The Adventurer (Ryan Scott) who stars in the movie as ex-Springbok Brendon Venter. Whatever, you know – standard stuff. Big Tommy Boyd was there. What a beautiful man.

I left home with my laptop and, on my way to the movie premiere, the phone and the laptop made love.

They had a little baby and the baby was IDENTICAL to the one I thought I had lost. EVERYTHING was there. The contacts, the calendar, the photos, the music. Absolutely everything. Even the front screen wallpaper was there.

And here’s proof that everything is back to normal. Taken tonight. Morgan Freeman, throwing a very cool vibe at the premiere..

Morgs – going for it.

And that was that!

Oh, the movie?

Very good. Watch it. Trust me. I got quite into and even, dare I say, emotional.

And for anything to do with fixing you iPod, check out their website www.ifixipods.co.za for contact details etc.

It was on a Friday (the whole day 08h30 to 16h30) and I realised at that moment that we have NO idea that, at any given time in our week, normally people like you and me could be SCREAMING around a race track during working hours! And that’s exactly what I did! Not that I have “working hours” per se, but you know what I mean!

Wernich, from Audi Centre Cape Town ensured that I was settled and then bolted then moment the head instructor walked into the room.

I turned to the front and that’s when it all fell into place.

Do you remember this guy from Top Gun?

“Viper” – from Top Gun

Of course you do. His name in the movie was Mike Metcalf (callsign: Viper) and he was the instructor at the Top Gun fighter pilot academy.

That was basically the vibe I got at the beginning of the day. I sat there in my chair as the head instructor, John Simpson (same vibe as Viper) explained the day’s schedule. I looked around and sized up the other people attending. I couldn’t help but wonder, who was the best of the best?

I caught the end of something he was saying – “in case any of you are wondering who the best is, it’s not you – it’s these guys right here.” As he pointed to the professional driving instructors standing beside him.

Viper runs us through the day’s lineup

The Audi Top Gun pilots

“These men will be taking three of you in each car and they will gauge your strengths and weaknesses. Listen to them and you will learn a lot.”

Nice vibe..

My team mates, Lorinda and Allan and I got the best instructor of the day, Gary. Try and get him when you go – he’s an ex-racing champion. I get on well with ex-racing champions so I knew we would have a good day.

I beg your pardon? You want to know my involvement with ex-racing champions.

Seriously, do I have to?

Okaaaaaay, if I MUST!

  
Michael Schumacher asked if he could record this moment.
“No problem,” I said, “as long as you get my Judrons in the shot.”

So anyway, back to the Audi High Performance Driving Course. I can categorically state that I have never become so enlightened in just eight hours, as I was at Killarney that day. I did the fixed-wing glider course once – and that took a week. Not a lot of people have that kind of time.

Besides hurtling around the track at (by the end of the day) at 180 km/h and TEARING into corners, the learning that went down was something to behold! In this one test, they show you how where the car stops if you slam on brakes at 60 km/h. Then, after marking that off, they do it again at 120 km/h. Do you know how much further the stopping point was?

Just a bit more the original distance?

Twice the original distance?

No my friend, it’s something like four or five times the distance!

These are the kind of things you get exposed to which result in your insurance premiums going down. Because you leave a better informed and more skilled driver.

The guys also take you through technologies like ABS and ESP and explain to you exactly how they work. But they don’t just explain, they get you to try it out yourself. slamming on anchors at 100 km/h, violently turning from one side to the other, trying to roll the car – stuff like that. It’s pretty hairy stuff but totally in control at all times.

That’s the one beautiful thing about the day, is the slickness of the whole operation. Not for one second did I worry about my safety – such is the calming effect of being around professionals like these.

And THIS is the result!

Seth becomes a Top Gun pilot

Oh yes! Not to be silly or anything, I would prefer it if you called me “Maverick” from now on. Thanks very much.

Check out their vibe at the official Audi High Performance Driving Course website for these training days – www.4rings.co.za

Besides the reduction in insurance premiums, this is a brilliant way to spend a day and learn at the same time. I couldn’t imagine a better team building initiative for companies out there looking for something different.

Here are some pics from our day.

Thanks again to Audi Centre Cape Town for such an incredible experience. And remember, if you’re in the market for a new car, give them a shout. I’ve got the TT and the R8 and can’t say enough about them. Go for a test drive – apparently they’re got some HOT new S4′s in..

You don’t get better service and, if you give me a shout before, I can probably organise you a cheeky little discount to make your buying experience even more fun! CLICK HERE

I hadn’t been to the dentist for a while and, with mother’s recent visit to Cape Town, it was impossible to avoid. She told me about this guy, and went on to say that it was the same place that Ian Crooks uses. “Well! If it’s good enough for Ian…,” I enthused.

The prospect of driving through to Milnerton tweaked me a bit and, having done so twice now, I must just tell you that it’s easier to get to Milnerton than Claremont – FACT. You’re on the N1 from the Waterfront, bang a left and drive through Paarden Eiland (one straight road) and you’re in Milnerton. Honestly, it’s 10 minutes “door-to-door” (one of my earlier sayings I made up. Think I was 7 at the time).

And that, my sweet, beautiful children, is where I found this:

The Sopranos on DVD at the dentist

Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you – that IS The Sopranos playing on DVD on the CEILING of the dentist’s rooms. Dr. Cohen is his name and visual satisfaction is his game!

I went the week before I got that cheeky little filling, to let him see what’s what in mine mouth. It was then that I spotted the device on the ceiling.

“What is that, Doc?” I enquired.

“Why, that’s a flat screen television,” he replied.

“Oh reeeeally…”

“Yup, really.”

“Is it linked to a DVD player?”

“Very much so – we use it for the kids – they watch cartoons to take their minds off the dental activity.”

“Fuck the kids!” I exclaimed.

“I beg your pardon?” he asked.

“LUCKY kids,” I said.

So the next time I came to get that filling, I took along one of my Sopranos DVD’s (remember we chatted about this – from DVD Nouveau) and popped one in. I should, at this juncture, mention that the Sopranos DVD has given trouble on one or two machines in the past (to do with region codes) but I’m ecstatic to mention that Dr. Cohen’s DVD player had absolutely no problem, with it. He probably saw the article I wrote a while back on how to make your DVD player region free.

We used the remote to choose The Sopranos episode I wanted and off we went. One hour in the chair = one episode of Sopranos. Please, man, it’s silly! Now, whilst the sound from the screen is perfectly clear, one needs to take into account a bit of drilling noise. That’s why we popped on subtitles, my boet!

I can honestly tell you it was the most incredible dentist visit of my life. I couldn’t POSSIBLY imagine not watching DVD’s whilst at the dentist and I HIGHLY recommend that you give it a bash. And, what’s more, Dr. Cohen is pretty amusing anyway – so you’re scoring everywhere you look.

Dr. Cohen is a VERY popular dentist and he has confirmed that if you mention 2oceansvibe when making a booking, he’ll not only find you an appointment, but he’ll throw in a discount as well.

He gave me his card as well.

It’s too easy! Give him a shout:

Dr. Jonathan Cohen
Family Dental Practitioner

Annex 116
Milnerton Mediclinic (closer than you think)
Racecourse Road
Milnerton

Phone : 021 551 6604
Fax : I beg your pardon?

Go! Do it! Do it! Do it!

Time for an upgrade? Pop on down to sugarcupid.com!

The website goes for this vibe – and I quote:

Sugar Daddy – rich and successful. No time for games? Looking to support and pamper women (Prada handbags) who will treat you like a king (daily blow jobs)? Interested in a discrete and mutually beneficial relationship? Time to be a Sugar Daddy!

Sugar Baby – attractive and young. Struggling in the early part of your career? Seeking a generous benefactor to mentor and take care of you – perhaps financially? You will make the perfect Sugar Baby!

And what’s more – it’s LOCAL! Jeepers! This thing will be a HIT on Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard!

Sugarcupid.com
Check at the honey our boy has picked up!

“..discrete and mutually beneficial?” – ie. an affair? (I assume they meant “discreet”?)

“PERHAPS financially?” - Hahaha, as if it’s an afterthought! That’s just too special! In English : Studies, car, iPhone, handbags, holidays and jewellery.

I’d like to see the state of the angels in their database. Better yet, I’d dig to check the state of the guys who reckon they make the “sugar daddy” grade!

These guys should do a deal with Harley Davidson and create some kind of a mid-life crisis package. Better yet, rope in a law firm to take care of the divorce at the same time!

Aaah, good times..

[thanks brett]

Check out these STUNNING pics spotted on the site this morning.

Milnerton region

Camps Bay beach

Nothing wrong with that!

Welcome to summer, my darlings.

Check out how backed up things are on the roads and other beautiful vistas at www.capetowntrafficcam.co.za

[thanks paul]

www.nobucks.co.za

Now it’s one thing living cheaply on food stamps, but the cool thing about these kids behind nobucks.co.za is they’re including 2oceansvibe approved bars and restaurants. So you’re getting discounts at the likes of Caprice, Hudsons, Cafe Sofia, Andiamo, Beluga etc. So you’re skimping it, but you’re doing it in style.

I suppose, in way, that’s what I do. I mean, besides my fabulous wealth which allows me this lifestyle anyway, it is generally accepted that I am not charged when frequenting Cape Town establishments. So, indirectly, I guess I’m doing the same thing! Weird.

Look, my good looks help as well, granted – but let’s keep our eye on the ball here.

[thanks herman]

We do not support the concept of zero-sized models and have always celebrated the likes of Cosmopolitan magazine, whose recent lingerie fashion show featured refreshingly “normal” sized models. Emaciated celebrities do not impress us.

Seriously – what is that?

The issue is therefore close to my heart and I was very impressed when I heard about Montrose Manor, the new eating disorder treatment clinic which has been established in Cape Town. The treatment clinic deals with everything from anorexia and bulimia to overeating and binge eating disorders.

Montrose Manor has been setup by the same people behind the incredibly successfull Montrose Place (which deals with addictions and compulsive disorders).

Montrose Manor
Eating Disorder Treatment Clinic

 

Based in a spacious and comfortably appointed residence, surrounded by acres of garden and located in the exclusive suburb of Bishopscourt, Cape Town, Montrose Manor boasts the unrivalled combination of a luxurious environment, world-class facilities and a step-forward clinical programme.

 

Inside the beautifully appointed
Eating Disorder Treatment Clinic

 

The eating disorder treatment clinic features
designer-styled interiors & antique furnishings

 

Montrose Manor is a turn-of-the century manor house, lying adjacent to the Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens, with clear views of Table Mountain. A combination of elegant, designer-styled interiors and antique furnishings befit both the location and the house’s history. With careful attention paid to the finest detail, the Montrose Manor ambience ensures that long-term treatment can be undertaken within a comfortable and luxurious environment.

 

Long term eating disorder treatment
can be taken within a luxurious environment.

 

With a homely atmosphere and gentle clinical ethos, Montrose Manor is less institutional than that of the standard primary in-patient eating disorder facility and it is, therefore, the ideal setting for extended care treatment.

I took a walk around the Montrose Manor eating disorder treatment clinic in Bishopscourt the other day and I can genuinely say that I’d be more than happy to move in there! I mean, really, there are staff everywhere and very luxurious fittings and furnishings – right up my street! With the patients so often coming from well-to-do backgrounds, it must be encouraging to note that they wouldn’t have to adjust too much to their surroundings!

Montrose head, Johnny Graaff, told me about how acutely aware they are of the type of person they’re dealing with. “We know that these highly intelligent people require non-verbal interventions to by-pass their intellectual defences and access the underlying psychological issues – hence our use of drama and art therapy.”

“The family program at Montrose is run by two counselors with in-depth experience of the entire eating disorder treatment program. Amongst their many strengths is the ability to counsel family members, while appreciating the stage of treatment that the addicted client is at.”

World class facilities

Outstanding! This kind of eating disorder treatment clinic must be in massive demand locally and internationally. I simply couldn’t imagine the delicate angels out there going into some state-run facility where they would share a bunk with a meth dealer. No, no – that wouldn’t work out very well!

Well done to the team at Montrose Manor for providing a facility which addresses eating disorders with the delicacy and professionalism it deserves.

Let’s get those beautiful angels back in shape!

Check out their website here.

You remember it now, right? If you don’t it seems you are missing out on some pearlers and I strongly urge you to visit the archives (scroll down the left menu – they’re there).

In the meantime, for the informed, you’ll be over the moon to learn that they (the Woodstock Obama haircut specialists) have just released their first TV ad. Well, online TV ad. A web video ad. It’s pretty sick – check it out:

*Wait for box to load above this line and wait for play button to appear. Press play, then pause and let video load up before playing through without hiccups.

How cool was that?

V cool.

It’s weird though, a lot of people seem to be talking about hairdressers these days.

Don’t you find?

[thanks craig]

Check this out, taken yesterday at 17h23, as you get onto the N2 next to the entrance to le Waterfront.

Your basic five o’ clock muffshow

They’ve also got cams on Hospital Bend, Eastern Boulevard and many more, including the Green Point Stadium! Check it all out here .

But wait, that’s not all! If you click in the next ten minutes, you’ll also get Camps Bay beach cams!! Oh yes – they’ve extended the “traffic” cams to Camps Bay beach as well. Allowing you, the sunbather, to see how hectique things are looking on a particular day. Also useful for those of you in the ‘burbs who THINK it might be winter, when in actual fact the sun is shining on “the other side.”

Today, for example, you WON’T be going to the beach..

Pretty sick!

I’ve added those links to the top of the left menu (just under where it says “HOME”) so you won’t struggle to find them in future.

Just looking out for you.

[you lean forward and give me a peck on the cheek]

Oooh! Thank you, my baby!

[thanks george]

You will recall Mavis was hemorrhaging cash from me before I left for Provence. Someone died and she had to go to The Eastern Cape for a funeral. She was gone for a week, which blew all her cash for that month. So I gave her the usual interest-free zero-payback loan scheme that we have been developing over the last few years. How it works is I give her money and she never has to pay it back – although every time she swears she will. She says I can gradually take it off her pay, but, if I do, then she’ll ask for another loan half way through the next month. I actually made up a saying to describe the process, I call it a “vicious circle.”

Use it, don’t use it (also mine).

So anyway, just before I left for for a month visit to our house in Menerbes (which, in turn, means that Mavis will be getting a month off – paid leave) she felt she would surprise me by washing my car. Hopefully that would rinse away any memory of the debt.

You what? [pause] You say it’s “SWEET” of her?

Oh really?

And is it still “sweet” of her when you discover that she was using a VIM on the tough spots?

Do you know what a VIM is? It’s basically wire wool.

One of these guys:

Ja, I thought you would enjoy that. Do you think the green part is good for a car’s coat? No, it’s not. It’s probably worse than putting Carol Boyes stuff in the dishwasher. Mavis has done that as well.

Well enjoy this, which is a pic I took of ONE of the EIGHT tough spots that she gave a real working. I thought I’d use it for an article about how she ballsed up, but I never had the energy to complete it until now.

Nice one..

Pretty rad, hey?

But don’t worry, I didn’t get angry with her. I thanked her for cleaning the car and just mentioned that she shouldn’t do it again, as she scratched it without (I assume? ) knowing. In eight places.

So I left it as it was and headed off to the South of France and Mavis went off to wherever she goes on holiday – probably Mauritius or the Cayman Islands where all her loot is stored. When I returned to Cape Town and moved into my primary residence at the Cape Royale Hotel in Green Point, I received an email from a guy called Neil. You’ll enjoy this, because this is a prime example of how “the vibe” works.

So he tells me that he has just opened “PLUSH”, a boutique Cape Town car wash. Boutique is one of my favourite words, so I kept reading. It seems the cape town car wash is located in the underground car park of that block in Green Point where Vida e is (“Port side” is the name of the block, I believe). Melissa’s also used to be there but they have been replaced by Bravado (ex-Bravo from Mouille Point – I went there, it’s good – try it). That’s a pity for Melissa’s but what do you expect when you charge over R700 for a sandwich and dive head-first into an overly-ambitious Waterfront shop?

Boutique is what you want

He tells me it is just next door to The Cape Royale Hotel. I asked him if he knew that I stayed there and he replied in the negative.

“Good Lord, well there are too many coincidences to not bring my car to you. Do you do scratches?” I asked.

“Yes we do scratches and dent removal.” He claimed the moment and went on, “We do everything from window tinting and sticker removal to plastic/vinyl restoration, mag repair and fallout removal!”

I had no idea what fallout removal was/is and I still don’t but it’s sounds pretty impressive.

I dropped my car off at 10 and got it back a few hours later, looking like this:

That’s what I’m talking about!

All 8 scratches were gone and the car looked brand new. That’s all I’m saying.

They’re our current cape town car wash of choice. And it’s not just me that thinks so – the amount of +R1 million cars there tells a story (they do ALL cars, obviously).

Use them. Mention 2oceansvibe and you’ll probably get a discount.

It’s amazing how that story fell into place and, in a way, I’m almost glad that Mavis scratched my car. In.eight.places.

Marina Nestel, master networker and owner of The Little Black Book somehow manages to get me to do things without me even realising. She grabbed me (as she usually does) as I arrived at the aforementioned launch and positioned me next to a CEO of something, as well as Cokey Falkow, Colin Moss and Roxy Louw.

“Ok! You stand there, YOU go there and YOU there!”

Then she turned to the cameraman and shouted, “Ok, go!”

While that was happening she spotted KFM’s Richard Hardiman and instructed him, “Wait!” as she devised the next shot in her head. A shot that would probably end up all over the social pages as they usually do – again utilising her treasure trove list of contacts.

There were five or six camera flashes and we were allowed to carry on into the party. Before I headed off, she whispered in my ear (dramatically), “Billy Zane is in the corner at the bar – I’ve told him all about you, he wants to meet you.”

The rest is history.

Did you catch the Billy Zane interviews, by the way? You can check them out here: Part 1 HERE and Part 2 HERE .

Zane drowns in Seth’s mystique
at the Harley Davidson launch (here)

You get the picture – this chick makes things happen and she knows EVERYTHING. That’s why the big brands and prestigious clients use her and precisely why people will do anything to get into her “Little Black Book.” The business opportunities and social networking that goes on via Marina is nothing short of staggering. Let her promote your brand and the people will follow and the word will be out.

www.thelittleblackbook.co.za

That’s probably why she has just appeared in a double page magazine spread – a scan of which has just arrived in my inbox. I think the writer nailed it spot on and I wanted to publish it right here for you, in case you missed it.

CLICK IMAGE for full-size version.

CLICK HERE to read article on The Little Black Book

Stunning!

Simply…..STUNNING!

Get in touch with The Little Black book HERE.

Behold:

Spotted on window of a men’s manicure parlour.
Blue Route Mall, Cape Town.

Look, it’s a bloody nice gesture, but it’s probably not gonna fly. I’m just not sure if your mom would be very impressed if she saw that you had bought your dad a “handjob” for Father’s Day.

Thanks for that, 2oceansvibers!

While we’re at it, are YOU a 2oceansviber? Have YOU subscribed to the vibe? Did YOU receive yesterday’s awesome newsletter with behind the scenes action including Seth’s current Strengthening Ties Tour?

Not?

Pfffffft! [tries to contain laughter]

Well best you get moving, my love! CLICK HERE to SUBSCRIBE TO THE VIBE.

And then, when you’ve managed that, CLICK HERE to follow 2oceansvibe on Twitter and get a constant hit of live action (only available on Twitter) from wherever Seth is (currently The South of France).

[thanks brad, dan and nic]

I received an sms from Caro at My Life Organised a week ago saying, “your appointment at the French Embassy was this morning – I’ll call them later and let you know how it went.” What? Who? Shit, did I miss an appointment to get my Shengen visa for my upcoming overseas trip?We had met only once before, for me to give her what was needed and to sign a form – and now THIS!

I panicked for a millisecond and remembered that the services they provide includes standing in queues and attending “appointments” with visa application appointments. A day later she arrived at the door of The Safe House with both my and The Muse ‘s visa’s. ‘

Check it out.

My French itinerary and Shengen visas
To The Safe House door..

I chatted to you (here) about a year ago about My Life Organised and, because we’re gained some new loyal 2oceansvibe readers since then, I thought it warranted another mention..

When you go to their website (here) you’ll notice that their services include everything from popping into Woolies for your forgotten groceries and gathering quotes for that long awaited alarm installation, to standing in line for your passport application and meeting the plumber at midday as your dishwasher has exploded once again. Lately I’ve been told they’ve been in massive demand for their “de-cluttering” service. They go into your house, strip away the mess and even handle the packing and moving of the excess furniture/clutter into storage facilities! Pretty rad.

I thought I’d take things to the next level and you might have noticed that My Life Organised has been handling the full co-ordination and organisation of the 2oceansvibe Weather Girls weekly online TV shows. It’s true – watch the shows here and you’ll see the logo at the end.

If that wasn’t enough, I thought I’d test the limits with some lion cubs. Yup, you heard me – wild LIONS. You see, a passionate animal lover friend of mine called me a few months ago and said he had just found four abused lion cubs in a cage in Romania. He sent me photographs and said he would pay all expenses for transport, admin and any medical undertakings to relocate the lions to somewhere in South Africa where it could be happy again.

“Sure, *cough* no problem!,” I said as I put down the phone and scratched my head. I emailed My Life Organised – “Here’s a task,” I said, “could you get everything organised with regards to permits and veterinary processes and laws and God-knows-what-else is required to move four lion cubs from Romania to South Africa? Caro, the owner, wrote back immediately and told me to expect an email with full instructions and paperwork.

This was the result:

As happy as a lion in Africa

No, I am not spicing you.

Sure, that might have been a bit excessive and I doubt you would need to test their skills to that extent but it’s good to know that they can, genuinely, do ANYTHING.

Check out their vibe and get in touch with them here – www.mylifeorganised.co.za

We have been reporting the iStore/Core Group saga to you since last week. It began with my personal account of a dismal experience in the Waterfront iStore (here), which ended up with me going next door to Incredible Connection.

I then followed up with an article (here) responding to reader’s questions, confirming that South Africa’s Apple distributors, The Core Group, had not yet released a statement nor had they attempted to make contact with regards to what is rapidly turning into a diabolical situation. I went on to say that they must know about the drama, as the story I wrote comes up at the number 1 position in Google for the search phrase “waterfront apple mac” – the story is very much out there.

But then it became clearly as to why the Core Group don’t seem to give a toss.

They never have..

For those of you who haven’t had a chance to peruse the comments section of the original article (92 so far) or the follow-up article, here are some interesting pearls.

# Hectique Prognosis Says:
May 17th, 2009 at 8:19 pm e

Let me see if I get this:
Core is the sole importer of Apple products in South Africa, because they have sole rights for distribution. They resell to retailers in South Africa… AND they have their own retail stores? Does that not sound teensy bit wrong? They must really have the other Apple resellers by the balls. Any wonder they behave as if they own the place? Talk about a conflict of interest…

# Anon a miss Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 1:50 pm e

They won’t respond and why should they? This Core flaming will all blow over soon and then it will be business as usual. Besides, what do they care? Those Apple products that you guys bought from Incredible Connection/Digicape etc were IMPORTED BY CORE anyways! And where are those resellers gonna get more stock from? From Core, LOL. Its not like anyone else is even ALLOWED to import Apple products into SA. Monopolies are so lame and there are LOTS on South Africa.

Guess Who Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 2:28 pm e

I worked for Core HQ. Most resellers really hate The Core Group. Makro, Hifi and IC, the are forced to do business with Core. Believe me, some people from Core are not welcome anymore at these Head Offices.
They lost TomTom, (google TomTom / Core South Africa,) there are law suits because they ruined the TT Business. Unfortunately they have Nintendo as well, this is going strong as far as I can see. Go to Apple Sandton, they are grey importers as Core will call them, believe me the offer good service and full warranty !

 

# Can this be? Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 11:46 am e

All this info is most disturbing. If CORE is the only Distributor in South Africa, but are also infiltrating the Retail market, where does their loyalty lie when it comes to stock allocations? Would this explain why at times the iStores have stock, but not the other Resellers? Can this be? Somehow this doesn’t seem right… Talk about a monopoly…

MAC GIRL Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 9:45 am e

I worked at the istore for 2 years and working for the core company was horrible. I believe that customer service is comes first! And to them it wasnt, it was the last thing.. they were more worried about what the store looks like than anything else.
I aggree with the earlier post…. the reason for lack of knowledge is staff leaving after 2-6 months cause the core company treat their staff like crap!!
When they are not happy with a staff member they will work that person out of the company in the most horrific ways!!NO MATTER IF YOU WERE ONE OF THEIR STAR EMPLOYEES!! they just dont give a shit! And yes.. they do have the resellers by the balls… as the resellers cant complain cause there is no point to complaining if you can only deal with them and no one else. I also aggree with another post that said they should stick to distrubuting… and stay as far away from the retail stores as possible…. the worst part is… they wont! they are trying to increase their footprint and opening up more stores…. the waterfront was the first store to open.. and it was suppose to be their blue print store…they promised they will perfect that store before opening any others… but they didnt… the waterfront store had so many issues but they continued to open more… (money hungry)…
not realizing they were hurting the brand by doing that…
there are so many wrongs i dont ever think there would be a right!

 

# budmoto Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:17 pm e

The Core Business Group…. little people with big money.

I worked there and realized I couldn’t stay on and keep my sanity so I left. Service is abysmal.
The manager there, Karen, is a great person and good at what she does but she relies on Core and you can only imagine what that is like.
Your best bet is to support DigiCape until they are strong enough to compete with Core for the rights to distribute Apple products in South Africa.

# NOT!!! Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 4:19 pm e

The sad thing is that Core have forgotten that their main business should be DISTRIBUTION (as the only authorized distributors of Apple in SA), but they are so busy trying to push the resellers out of the market, that they’re stuffing up the entire brand in this country. No stock, no service, no nothing…. Mac products are so over priced in SA – I guess all the profit goes into Core’s pockets, ’cause apparently the resellers ain’t making much on it…

 

# Minnaar Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 12:03 pm e

That store is a joke. With the recent rand instability I was once again surprised at the wonder that is Apple in SA.

I went in to buy a dock for my iPhone, and it had a printed price on its package of R399. When I reached the till they told me sorry, the price has increased to R470.

Now this I dont understand. If you have it in stock, how can the price change the moment I buy it?

Is there not some law against this?

Apple in South Africa is a joke – the computers are overpriced compared to overseas as well. Lets see how long they take to decrease the prices now that the rand is stronger.

 

# PaulMark Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 12:47 pm e

I am a Apple convert through and through. Great products and (internationally) great service.

Since returning from the UK I have been shocked by the Apple retail experience in SA. There is no official Apple retail presence in SA. The iStores (owned by Core) are the closest thing to it. Unfortunately they are poor imitations of the genuine article. To start with the products are completely overpriced. This is blamed on exchange rates but of course the prices never go down when the rate improves. The staff know next to nothing about the computers they are trying to sell and seem to have the attitude that they are actually doing you a favour!

Wish Apple would realise the damage that Core is doing to their reputation for good service and open their own official Apple retail store in SA.

Havent said all that I have had good experiences at Digicape. Prices still arent great (Core sets the prices) but at least their service seems pretty decent.

 

# Anonymous Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm e

I am a current iStore employee (I cannot say which store), and I just have to say that I fully agree with Seth.

While I consider myself and a select few of my colleagues to be great salespeople and very knowledgeable with Apple’s products and accessories, as well as the tech industry in general, the majority of employees are not.

The reason for this is that the turnover of staff is very high (the average period of employment is usually only a couple of months before they decide to leave) and as a result they don’t have time to be trained properly or gain experience.

In my opinion, the reason the staff turnover is so high is because Core treats their employees, to put it simply, like complete shit. They do not keep their promises, their demands are unrealistic and they are very stingy.

I really hope Apple enter the market in South Africa and open up one of their official retail stores. Employees like myself and a few of my colleagues will happily abandon Core to work for Apple, officially.

Regards,

Anonymous iStore employee.

And so it goes on..

For those of you who haven’t had a chance to peruse the comments sections – check the original article and the follow-up article.

And I doubt they aren’t aware of it. When the comments section includes responses from current and ex-employees, as well as the owner of the Claremont iStore and a Google number 1 result for the search phrase “waterfront apple mac,” one would think it had come to their attention.

Not enough..

This, from a current Waterfront iStore employee (featured in the comments section of the original article):

Anonymous Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm

I am a current iStore employee (I cannot say which store), and I just have to say that I fully agree with Seth.

While I consider myself and a select few of my colleagues to be great salespeople and very knowledgeable with Apple’s products and accessories, as well as the tech industry in general, the majority of employees are not.

The reason for this is that the turnover of staff is very high (the average period of employment is usually only a couple of months before they decide to leave) & as a result they don’t have time to be trained properly or gain experience.

In my opinion, the reason the staff turnover is so high is because Core treats their employees, to put it simply, like complete shit. They do not keep their promises, their demands are unrealistic and they are very stingy.

I really hope Apple enter the market in South Africa and open up one of their official retail stores. Employees like myself and a few of my colleagues will happily abandon Core to work for Apple, officially.

Regards,

Anonymous iStore employee.

Do yourself a favour and check out the rest of those comments . Out of a current 85 comments, there is ONE positive comment. ALL the rest are negative and most of them are directed at both the iStore and the SA distributors, Core.

Look, they’re consistent – I’ll give them that.

Ok, so that makes Mother’s Day on May the 10th – THIS Sunday! So time is not a luxury you have. So hold on tightly, ‘cos I’m taking you on a quick ride. Which starts like this. It’s a real tin of fudge and I got it free and my mother won’t know the difference!

Yes, FREE.

Free!

You’re probably wondering how I got that fudge for free if the price above clearly states R49,95? Quite simple – that is because they gave me a R50 voucher when I signed up to the Woolworths online shopping system. And you can too. I’m dead serious – CLICK HERE and see for yourself. It’s not the only thing that costs R50, by the way!

So, that aside. You can pretty much count on Woolworths to have a selection featuring EVERYTHING that your mother would love. It doesn’t get much easier, to be honest. I found myself click-click-clicking away and securing some classic winners. I’m going to score some MAJOR points with the latest in the Woolworths TASTE cookbook series, which I remember my mom RAGING about to her cronies.

Woolworths TASTE cookbook
Major points!

Well it’s either that or one of these ridiculously awesome fleece gowns. My mother used to have one which she got from some up market lingerie store, but I stole it from her. I’m an only child – I can get away with that kind of stuff. But I do feel bad so I might throw in one of these beauties! Are you aware of how cuddly these are? She’ll feel like she’s snuggling up to a three week old golden lab.

Do you KNOW how awesome these gowns are?

But I don’t want to get carried away on the big things – I might throw in a few small items. Some exfoliating soap, for example, NEVER hurt anyone’s mother!

R19.95?
Come on, this is too easy!

Or the foam bath and body lotion combo!
At R49.95, you could get this free
With your R50 voucher when you sign up!

Throw it in!
I can see my grandmother enjoying these..

Chocolates..
..a given!

When last did anything cost less than R10?

Warming Booties?
My goodness, they’re too adorable!

And so it goes on – it’s actually getting a bit much. And those are only SOME of the Mother’s day gifts they’ve got. As I write this, I’m scrolling through the other items available and there are loads more gifts for mothers, grandmothers and mothers-to-be. From beautiful floral bouquets and pretty jewelry to delicious treats and bath time indulgences. For the mom who loves flowers, they’ve even got special Mother’s Day bouquets and potted plants .

And it’s affordable too – I noticed a bottle of sparkling wine for R24.95! And they’ve even got proper French Champagne for R215. The last time I bought a bottle of French Champagne somewhere else it cost R625! There’s shower gel, perfume, candles, vases, handbags, picture frames, gloves, body butter, travel bags, gift bags, note books, bracelets and more. It’s ENDLESS!

And remember, if you don’t know what to buy, you’ll do particularly well to get your mother/grandmother a Woolworths gift card – to let her decide what she wants to buy from Woolies.

Do yourself (and your mother) a favour and go to the Woolworths Online Shop, register, claim your fifty bucks, choose some Mother’s Day gifts and THEY’LL deliver it for you. To your mother’s door! I can’t recall it ever being any easier than that!

Click the image below to take you straight there!

CLICK HERE to shop online at Woolworths

Well done – you’re finally making sense of all the chaos and getting one step closer to living the holiday!

Go go go!

CLICK HERE to shop online at Woolworths

And what better time to talk about Cape Town and South Africa’s newest and most exclusive drug treatment retreat! Just after New Year! – JUST as most of Cape Town finds themselves madly rummaging through the bathroom cabinet, desperately trying to find that last razor blade to finally end the pain. The self-loathing. The Loser Complex.

PUT THE BLADE DOWN, MY ANGEL! EVERYTHING WILL BE OK!

Shhh! Come with me.. Look what Montrose Place has to offer!

Montrose Place
South Africa’s most exclusive and luxurious rehab facility

I’m amazed it took Cape Town so long to get this together! It’s absolutely PERFECT! Not only has Cape Town produced the best drug addicts in the world, but the WORLD has desperately needed a luxury substance abuse facility in Cape Town. Foreigners LOVE this city so much – the natural beauty simply lends itself drug rehabilitation! We’ve seen the celebs and playboys first hand – they could come into town, party their heads off one last time, and finish off with a visit to the most exclusive drug rehab treatment retreat in the country! An extended holiday featuring extended care! And the people behind Montrose Place couldn’t have picked a better suburb – Bishopscourt – Cape Town’s oldest and most prestigious suburb.

I’m no pro on rehabilitation and treatment centers, but I must say that total luxury would be an essential for me. The fact that it comes with a private chef and maid service would make sense – and the irony certainly wouldn’t be missed, given that my own domestic executive, Mavis, would more than likely be the cause of my entering rehab in the first place.

Oh very nice, sort yourself out in style.

Private en-suit bedrooms with kitchenettes, as well as a personal driver will back up the rumours that both Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears have been making enquiries. The retreat’s promise of “discreet airport transfers” certainly does suggest this type of clientele. Let’s face it, this place is right up their street; certainly a lot easier than having helicopters swarming you during the usual stints in the U.S. Britters reckons she doesn’t need rehab. Fair enough, she probably didn’t see this video.

Using the latest scientific treatment standards, as well as the classic “12 steps” and “Minnesota” models, one wonders if they will put together some sort of a mini-rehab package for Capetonians. They could call it the “Camps Bay Model”. You know, just a quick 3 day clean up… until next time. Very useful for the playas and coke whores found on the other side of Table Mountain!

I visited the centre the other day and, with home theatres, 15-meter swimming pool, khoi pond, spa and salon treatments, yoga room, library, internet and air conditioning, I begged (to no avail) one of the Directors to tip me off when any of our favourite worn-out starlets (or 6-foot Minnesota models) have checked in. I’d be glad to help the rehabilitation process with my own special jacuzzi treatments. And then, once checked out, we could also test the process by seeing how they handle saying no to the bottle of rose Dom I CRACK open as the sun gently sets in front of The Safe House, with some Pink Martini playing on the iPod.

Just one sip, my babba.. it’ll be fine..

God, look at that sky.

I love you.

Hold me.

Mmm.

Montrose Place
Email: info@montroseplace.co.za
Web: www.montroseplace.co.za
Phone: +27 21 797 9270

The SPCA has been involved:

Wildlife is the main casualty of the fires on Table Mountain – and the SPCA has had its hands full with urgent rescue and relief missions.Although numerous wild animals have been rescued, more casualties are expected while the fire still burns – and in its aftermath – and SPCA Inspectors remain on full alert.

 

COGH SPCA Chief Inspector Andries Venter
carries the severly burnt grysbokkie to safety.

 

To date, no domestic animals appear to have been affected, but the SPCA urges pet owners to keep a close eye on their dogs and cats.

One of the heartbreaking casualties of the fire was a grysbok, whose plight was brought to the attention of SPCA Chief Inspector Andries Venter by the City of Cape Town’s Disaster Management team.

The grysbok was found in a quarry near Vredehoek, with severe burn wounds on its legs and face. It was unable to move because of its injuries.

The animal was rushed to Dr George Coury at Citi Vet in Gardens, where it was put on a drip and given emergency treatment for its pain and injuries. Unfortunately it suffered internal injuries from smoke inhalation and passed away.

To report injured animals – or for more information about the SPCA’s rescue efforts – please call 021 700 4158/9 or contact the SPCA after hours emergency number: 083 326 1604.

CLICK HERE for more from the SPCA website.

THAT’S what I’m talking about guys, well done!

Large stocks of the new Vitamin Water drink (by Glaceau) also arrived, and they sent us these pics of some brave firemen enjoying the multicoloured beverages!

Vitamin Water being used to its full potential!

Do you own a Cape Town brand which could have been useful to the firemen?

Did you forget or not think to send anything?

YOU’RE AN IDIOT!

Come on, guys! THINK!

You do know about karma, don’t you?

]]> http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/20/well-done-cape-town/feed/ 5 http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/18/2oceansvibe-gets-another-google-number-1/ http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/18/2oceansvibe-gets-another-google-number-1/#comments Wed, 18 Mar 2009 09:30:00 +0000 Seth Rotherham http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/18/2oceansvibe-gets-another-google-number-1/ Read more...

AUTO MAGIC

Ok, I had this small C-Class Merc which was was always used as a spare, for errands and for when friends were in town. But, due to a man’s need for multiple toys, I ran out of space at The Safe House and I simply had to get rid of the thing. You feel my vibe.

So, I put the car into the AutoTrader and, AS the ad goes to print, a friend borrows the car and gets into a little fender bender. Hey, no problem, these things happen. It wasn’t his fault anyway. But needless to say Murphy’s Law kicked in and, at that exact moment, some calls started to come in to BUY the car! Fuck sakes! I wrote down a few of their names and numbers and said I’d get back to them shortly.

Enjoy this vibe.

Ooooh!
NOT ideal..

Awesome..

So The Roofer, being a part of the “industrial” vibe, tells me about his buddy who owns a Cape Town “panel beater” place called Auto Magic, who SPECIALISE in quick turnaround time.

“Oh reeeeeaally… WHERE are they?” I asked, waiting for him to tell me they were at the arse end of the world.

“That’s the beauty about these guys,” he tunes, “they FETCH the car and BRING IT BACK to you! They’ll even come TO you to do the QUOTE!”

“Don’t talk shit,” I responded, angry with the clearly ill-informed advice.

“Trust me,” came The Roofer’s response.

Hmm, ballsy.

And that’s when the most incredible script started to unfold before me. The exact same script The Roofer had described. The oke CAME to my garage (it could still drive) and gave me a quote, which I accepted on the spot. He then drove the car away – immediately.

That was the Monday morning. On the Thursday I got a call from Auto Magic.

“Where can we deliver the car to?” they asked.

“Are you joking?” I asked, genuinely stunned. “Or couldn’t you fix it.”

“No, sir, it’s fixed. Where can we deliver it?”

I shit you not, they fixed that Merc in THREE DAYS. They took it from me on a Monday and returned it on the Thursday. Looking like this:

Oh COME now!
Stop it!

I had lined up a few people to see the car, but said I was away. I called them back to come and see the car. The first guy bought it. He asked if the car had been in any accidents. I told him it had, and that a friend had “dinged” the front right and door panels. He had a close look and said, “can’t see anything.”

“I know,” I smiled.

And that, my friends, is the end of that!

So follow my lead and, when you think of anything to do with Cape Town panel beating, dents or body restoration – trust me – go no further than these guys!

AUTO MAGIC

They work on all makes of cars
and belong to SAMBRA & RMI

12 months guarantee on workmanship
& lifetime on paint.

Give them a shout on 021-5116449
or 0829215855 for their mobile quotation unit.

SICK!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE

]]> http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/11/unbelievable-a-cape-town-panel-beater-who-really-understands-2/feed/ 2 http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/10/unbelievable-a-cape-town-panel-beater-who-really-understands/ http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/10/unbelievable-a-cape-town-panel-beater-who-really-understands/#comments Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:30:00 +0000 Seth Rotherham http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/10/unbelievable-a-cape-town-panel-beater-who-really-understands/ Read more...

I need your help.

Finally local sports betting has come online, properly! I’m trying out this new site called greatodds.com and want to test it a bit this weekend, just to get my head around it.

www.greatodds.com
This is gonna be fun!

So for now I’m just going to put down some R200 – R500 bets on some upcoming weekend rugby matches. Then, once we’ve get the hang of it, I want to do some bigger bets next week, for a grand or so each.

I need YOU to advise me and, using the comments section under this article, tell me HONESTLY which way I should bet on the following games this weekend. Remember not to let your heart do the gambling. Be SENSIBLE!

SUPER 14

Chiefs vs Sharks

2.00 for a Chiefs win, 1.833 for a Sharks win and 15 for a draw.

ie. if you put down R500, you’ll get back R1,000 if you correctly choose a Chiefs win, R916.50 for a Sharks win and R7,500 for a draw.

Stormers vs Blues

1.909 for a Stormers win (-7 handicap), 1.909 for a Blues win (+7 handicap) and 15 for a draw (-7 handicap on Stormers score)

These handicap things are quite fun. What that means is you reckon Stormers will win, even if you take 7 off the final score. Or, if you bet for Blues, you reckon they will win, if you ADD 7 onto their final score. So if you bet Blues and the final score is 14-20 to Stormers, you will win. But, using that same example, if you bet Stormers, you would lose. Because if you take 7 off 20, then you’re left with 14-13 to Blues. Quite cool, hey?

SIX NATIONS

France vs Wales

2.00 for a France win (+2 handicap), 1.833 for a Wales win (-2 handicap) and 15 for a draw (+2 handicap on France score).

Ireland vs England

1.833 for an Ireland win (-7 handicap), 2.00 for an England win (+7 handicap) and 15 for a draw (-7 handicap on Ireland score)

I had dinner last night with some friends, one of whom is an actuary. Of course you know that Actuarial Science is the discipline that applies mathematical and statistical methods to assess risk in the insurance and finance industries. We discussed this sports betting issue and agreed that a less risky bet would be the more informed bet.

That said, I would appreciate some insight from the rugby inside circle please – the likes of Abbott, Fleck, Smit, Dixon, Skinstad, James, Venter, Dobson, Kahn and co., so that we can get this right!

But besides from those in the game, I reckon the 2oceansvibe armchair punters MUST have some good advice for the four matches mentioned above?

Can someone get Paddy Smuts in here as well please?

Thanks.

People who understand true service are well aware that there should be no rules when it comes to fulfilling a customer’s request. I tested this logic by booking a table at the Roundhouse Restaurant for lunch. But not just any table – I requested they put together a table at the bottom level of the sprawling lawn terrace leading down from the main Roundhouse building. Something I hadn’t seen done before.

“Absolutely!” came the genuinely excited reply, suggesting (then) that it had not been done before and should result in a fantastic afternoon. I’m sure you would agree that coming up and following through on new ideas is NOT something our local service industry folk would EVER contemplate, let alone follow through on. This was the result..

Bliss is the word you’re looking for.

I think a big nod needs to go to Lord Charles Somerset who built the original residence and hunting lodge back in 1786, when Camps Bay offered lions, leopards and buck for his and his friends’ hunting pleasure. None of those are around anymore, except, of course, the occasional cougar cruising around the Camps Bay strip. You would require a long range snipers rifle for those these days, as The Roundhouse Restaurant is positioned in the heart of the Camps Bay Glen – as close as one can get to “wind free” in Camps Bay, gazing down, over and across the bay and 12 Apostles.

I brought along my iPod speaker (with Pink Martini freshly loaded), as well as a set of petanque/boule (located and acquired for me within two hours, funnily enough, by the concierge at the Cape Grace Hotel during my recent stay there), which would all tie in very nicely with the Great Gatsby theme I had requested of my guests.

No Great Gatsby themed lunch would be complete
without a TBG appearance

Very stressful

The desserts were ludicrous.
With the chocolate pudding in the foreground bordering on crass

I tended to G-man, who couldn’t be blamed for eating so fast

Inside the Roundhouse Restaurant in Camps Bay
Dine from the very spot Lord Charles Somerset took pot shots at lions!

A magnificent day was had by all, as we over-indulged in the best way possible. We left the ordering up to Fasie Malherbe, who managed to maintain a constant flow of Pimms with fresh fruit and, literally, PILES of the most delicious foods selected from the Rumbullion Menu (courtesy of their new chef, PJ Vadas, who has done his time with the likes of Gordon Ramsay). Rumbullion is a 17th century slang term meaning “a riotous good time,” which is exactly what we had!

I found a little video for you of The Roundhouse Restaurant Rumbullion experience:

Rumbullion at The Roundhouse Restaurant, Camps Bay

Thanks again to Camps Bay’s Roundhouse Restaurant for a spectacular day which left me and my guests speechless. Look, we were absolutely WRECKED from the Pimms, but speechless nonetheless!

Whatever you do, make sure you get there – you have no idea what awaits you.

If you’re struggling for a table, I apologise, they’re in demand. The best help I can give is for you to tell them that 2oceansvibe sent you. It be just enough to push you through.

Check out their website for info and menus at www.roundhouserestaurant.com
or give them a call on +27 21 438-4347.

]]> http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/01/13/the-roundhouse-restaurant-in-camps-bay/feed/ 0 http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2008/11/21/ex-pats-tidy-up-your-shit/ http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2008/11/21/ex-pats-tidy-up-your-shit/#comments Fri, 21 Nov 2008 10:30:00 +0000 Seth Rotherham http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2008/11/21/ex-pats-tidy-up-your-shit/ Read more...

Is DC (Daddy Cool) letting it slip?

Summer is around the corner. We’ll see, as they say..

But there is certainly still enough time to sort it out. My part-upbringing on a large farm in Africa was where I coined the phrase, “make hay while the sun shines.” And that’s what we should do.

The James Bond ocean swimming scene, with Daniel Craig.
A theme loosely based on Seth Rotherham.

My buddy, Grant, has it all waiting for you at Renaissance Gym in town – the place where rock stars, Ukraine models and local business successes meet. Check it out.

I’d do that if I were you. I mean really, let’s be honest, if you carry on the way you’re going, it might be all over.

That’s what I call “the point of no return.”

Google that.

Give Grant a shout, tell him I sent you..

I’ll be honest. I cheated. I went to the tan can. And not just any tan can – it was the tan can at Dante Wellness Spa in Sea Point. And when I say Sea Point, I mean the VERY end of Sea Point near the circle; where they have also built a Woolworths AND a Vida AND a Sumo.

Good heavens – put a fork in me, I’m done!

Dante Wellness spa

Check it out:

Dante Wellness Spa is able to offer a variety of luxurious treatments from your classic manicure and pedicure to its signature treatment – A heavenly Balsamic Vinegar and Rice Wrap. Chemical Peeling and the latest technology in Microdermabrasion are just a few of the anti-ageing treatments on offer. Dante prides itself in being the first spa in its area to offer the revolutionary vertical tanning sysyem. With its increased power, this machine can bronze the most religious tanner in record time – less than five minutes.

Awesome. They have such a wide range of treatments and peelings and body wraps and waxing and tinting and God knows what else! It’s endless!

It’s ’boutique’ baby!

How stunning!!?

I couldn’t imagine a better position for a spa – absolutely perfect for the Sea Point, Fresnaye, Bantry Bay, Clifton and Camps Bay set!

And the angels that work there… mm mm

Dante Wellness Spa
Shop 12, Piazza Da Luz
94 Regent Road, Sea Point

Tel: (021) 434 1011
Fax: (021) 434 1012
Email: info@dantewellness.co.za
Website: www.dantewellness.co.za

“Mr Rotherham?” a woman’s voice enquired.

“Yes, this is he!” I barked.

“Hi, this is Natalie from Good Fellas. I just wanted to let you know your driver will be meeting you at the entrance in 30 minutes” she said, very professionally.

“Natalie, you sweet, sweet angel. I’m having a wonderful time here, could the driver please rather come at 01h30?” I asked.

“No problem, Freddy will be there at 01h30!”

www.gfellas.co.za

Seconds later I received an sms detailing the new pickup time and place. Beautiful! I returned to our “booth” where people were, funnily enough, discussing how they were getting home – given the now very boozy theme of the evening. They asked me; and this is the part that amuses me.

“How are you getting home, Seth? Surely you’re not driving after all that champagne?” they asked.

“Nought, I’m not driving. My driver is driving us home,” I replied.

“Ooooh! your DRIVER! God, you are so POSH! I wish I had a driver!” they whined and gaaned aan.

It’s quite funny, really. It’s like they’ve never heard of Good Fellas – the service that comes to where YOU are and then drives YOUR CAR home, with you in it! It’s not like I have a 24 hour driver. Christ, what do you think this is, Dynasty?

“Have you seen my driver?”

But the beauty is this whole vibe that gets created when you see the same people at the same parties and functions and they keep hearing you referring to “your driver” (only when they ask – we don’t want to come across as crass, darling) and they keep seeing you leaving in the back seat of your car with “your driver” driving the car.

Good Fellas is a very slick professional service and they offer various packages, starting at as little as R60 a month. You need to check out their website and you need to get involved. You can’t drink and drive. It’s not cool and you will get caught. I’ve been using these guys for years and, because I’m a member, I don’t even have to pre-book them – as long as I call them 30 minutes before I need them, it’s fine. Nothing wrong with that – VERY convenient for when that lunch starts getting a little carried away…

It’s also pretty cool dropping off drunk angels at their places on the way home. They like you more because of it.

Check out the Good Fellas packages and details, FAQ’s etc. They’re available in Cape Town, Schweeburg, Durbs, East London, P.E., as well as Pre..Pre..PreTORIA (sung to the tune of Duran Duran’s Notorious).

Get signed up to Good Fellas ASAP.

Good Fellas
The smart way home

0861 433 552

www.gfellas.co.za

All of that said, I have noticed that not everyone has a P.A. That is very unfortunate. People will often come up to me and ask if I think they should get a P.A. I always say yes – P.A.’s are worth their weight in saffron. But some people aren’t quite ready to make the jump – they’re worried that they “might not be able to justify it.” They don’t know if they will have enough things for their P.A. to do.

Fair enough.

Enter My Life Organised:

http://www.mylifeorganised.co.za/

Check this out:

“My Life Organised is your ultimate in premier lifestyle management – your second pair of hands, your own personal PA – to get those jobs done and those lists ticked off. Ultimately our tailor made packages, for all walks of life, give you the time to do the things you love and not the chores you hate, and eventually regain the time and freedom to focus on living your life list free.

We stop at nothing. My Life Organised can drop your pet at the vet for her check up, pop into Woolies for the forgotten groceries, gather quotes for that long awaited alarm installation, stand in line for your passport application, meet the plumber at midday as your dishwasher has exploded once again – we can fax, send, phone, research, find, quote, arrange, meet, collect and deliver – you name it and we’ll organise it…”
That’s what I’m talking about!

Although I already have a P.A., I am AWFULLY busy and thought I would test having another freelance P.A. So I commissioned My Life Organised to take care of some odds and ends for me. Funnily enough the one job was to wait for the plumber as the dishwasher had vomited on itself in The Safe House. I tested them to see if they could do two things at once and asked for my fridge to be stocked, as well as for fresh flowers to be positioned in the lounge.

All done! Perfectly!

Bloody impressive and everything itemised and billed for correctly on a stunning little email!

I didn’t use them again because The P.A. was getting a little miffed at the idea. But, for those of you who can’t seem to get it all done, do yourselves a favour and get in touch with www.mylifeorganised.co.za

Check out what I got:

Quietly enjoy the little dinky bottle of Moet!
Very naughty!

What was in the box, you ask? Well, OBVIOUSLY it was a brand new 4-year-old Campbodian child (I have names her Tevvy, which means “angel”) , to add to the very few I have left, living under my floorboards. This new addition will increase my flip-flop production considerably! I just never remember to feed them so the numbers have, admittedly, dropped.

Just kidding! (Or am I?)

Seriously though, you need to check this website out. Finally someone has got it right – the layout is brilliant and they can deliver ANYTHING for you from flowers to chocolates to champagne! And, as I said, you can be assured that when it gets to the receiver, it’s quality!

www.dial-a-surprize.co.za

How about a warm round of applause for South Africa’s premier veterinary pet health insurance company – Medipet.

See what they did there with that paw and the ‘i’..
..nice.

Ever since these guys have hit the scene, I’ve found myself in some high level talks with some very low level people, about the validity of pet health insurance in South Africa. This stuff is MASSIVE in the UK and I am intrigued as to why the idea might sound crazy to some people. But then I find out that it is mostly people who have never had a pet. And I’ve had pets, people. I’ve had many pets.

Mostly my Mother’s pets.

Let me tell you something.. I’ve been talking about the dire need for pet health insurance ever since our (my Mother’s) SECOND Yorkshire Terrier, Meggy, developed a rare skin disorder. It is only right that an only child surrounded by 1,000 antique porcelain dolls and dolls-houses, should be subject to the development of a rare Yorkshire Terrier skin disorder. A skin disorder that reached such staggering proportions, that my mother was, at one stage, seen signing cheques in the tens of thousands of Rands – as samples of Meggy’s fucking skin and DNA (ARE YOU LISTENING TO THIS!!!?) were medically couriered (REFRIDGERATED) to the United States of America for ANALYSES by some of the world’s top animal skin scientists!

I swear to God.

A Yorkshire Terrier – similar to Meggy.
And what a beautiful coat.

Naturally, this was all QUITE a surprise for all of us, knowing that Meggy was sired by Duke Remington – a famous “Yorkie”, bred by one of South Africa’s most well-known breeders. I mean, Meggy’s mother was none other than “Dynamite!” – a FAMOUS local Yorkshire Terrier who used to bounce on her hind legs when her master cried the words, “DANCE, DINAH, DANCE!”

Dynamite obviously belonged to my grandmother…

I got carried away a little there, but at least now I’ve written it down – because I’m tired of telling people how expensive animals can get. But you love them so much you don’t even realise that R20,000 has gone and you’ve got nothing to show for it but another vet bill. Animals are expensive things my friends – and if I had a pet right now, I would have pet insurance. And if you have a pet any bigger than a canary, you’d be a fool not to have any pet insurance. It’s not a lot of money..

Check these guys out. I’m really impressed.

Medipet’s website – you can apply online
You’ll LOVE it – it’s riddled with cute puppies and kittens

These guys charge around the R100 mark per month (you can apply online) for pet insurance that covers virtually everything up to R25,000 – including some things you didn’t even think about – like if your dog eats someone else’s child..

Medipet’s pet health insurance covers accidental injuries, ANY illnesses, operations, dog fight lacerations, gastric torsion (nice), tumour removals, hip replacements and more.

These guys even put in money for kennels, reward advertisements and prescriptions diets. I’m serious, check out their rates and benefits at Medipet’s website.

You can even apply online for dog and cat pet health insurance in South Africa – with Medipet.

www.medipetsa.co.za

or call 0800 MEDIPET or 021 701 2023

ps. I am not sure if these guys would cover that revolting 16 year-old Corgi who’s owner beat me with an umbrella a couple week’s back.

South Africa’s #1 online clothes shopping portal
Outstanding!

In an EXCLUSIVE competition with 2oceansvibe, ONE lucky reader will win one of these STUNNING summer dresses from every Cape Town girl’s best kept secret, Blue Bay – one of the brands featured on Adam & Eve.

Adam & Eve is the brainchild of Frankie Fleck, better half of ex-Springbok and previous 2oceansvibe Show guest, Robbie Fleck – and she has done a magnificent job.

And you wondered where Robbie Fleck got his cool smooth sense of style..

This competition is OBVIOUSLY for the girls, but also for the smart boys out there – should they wish to stack up points in return for sexual favours from their girlfriends/lovers. And trust me, you’ll get PLENCH! Chicks dig this stuff.

Have a look at these gorgeous garments.

Check out the full Blue Bay range at Adam & Eve
CLICK HERE

Christ that chick is gorgeous!

And those dresses!

(Let alone that naughty little jump suit effort at the end!)..

…you’ll be the BELLE OF THE BALL!

Ok, so to stand in line to WIN one of the above featured garments, all you have to do is the following:

Go to the Adam & Eve website – www.adamandeve.co.za and then tell us how many DIFFERENT CLOTHING BRANDS are available on the website.

Email your answer to editor@2oceansvibe.com with the subject
“Adam & Eve competition.”

South Africa’s #1 online clothes shopping portal
Adam & Eve

Correct answers will go into a top hat (like a magician uses) and the winner will be pulled out of the hat, next week, Friday 14 December.

Ooh, that’s a VERY easy way to take care of a Christmas prezzie..

That was until he charged R350 to lead a wire along the wall from the TV in my office to the plug socket. R350! To secure a wire to the skirting board! Like I was some sort of a fool. Like I had never touched wire before. Like I didn’t know how to hit a hammer against the small nail that secures those little plastic clips around the wire onto the skirting board. Like I couldn’t calculate out how much work was involved. I told him to go fuck himself and buried my head in my hands, wondering if people will ever stop fucking people over.

That was before I was put in touch with HomeFixers.

HomeFixers – Thank God

One of the partners is a good friend of mine and his timing couldn’t have been any better. He understood that I wouldn’t comment until I had taken them through their paces…

Since then The P.A. has called these guys for every job, big and small. Their first job was replacing virtually every light bulbin the Bantry Bay house. That was the job. Nothing else. They came to check the bulbs, went to BUY the bulbs, then came back and put them in! I’m FINE with that! It cost virtually nothing and took them no time.

Then they rewired the “new” stove at The Castle. (You might remember when The Kitesurfer decided to half-install the stove the other day, at 7pm – dinner time). This rewiring process included breaking into the garage which was locked from the inside. No problem whatsoever. That was after we realised the electric board wasn’t in another room which was locked – which resulted in them getting someone else to BUY and BRING one of those door keys that have a code written on them, so we could get into the room in the first place. Hectique!

These guys are out of control! And yes, I have had them at The Safe House. They planed down the front door (which mysteriously decided to grow), turned up the geyser, and even installed a little digital safe I bought to store the multitude of raw uncut blood diamonds I keep with me at all times. That, and Lennon’s original hand written lyrics for Woman.

There seems to be no limit to what they can do. Here are some other things I found out they can do:

That’s pretty much EVERYTHING!

Their pricing system is EXTREMELY fair, charging for time, not bullshit – producing a beautiful well-structured invoice every time. And these boys work FAST. None of the work they have done for me has taken longer than an hour. Check out their rates here. They even have special deals for a full day’s work.

They could probably build a condo in that time..

So if you’re looking for a Cape Town Handyman, check out my boys, Homefixer’s Website HERE.

OR call them on 0860 FIXERS.

Call them now, they’re tame.

Another angle to the problem is going to shops for something good (healthy), and being tempted to buy crap at the same time. It’s like running the gauntlet when you’re queuing at Woolies and you find yourself subjected to temptation only Eve could describe. It’s radical – you are surrounded by enough chocolate and sweets to give you full-blown acne and an extra 3 kg’s by sunrise. Sin, sin, sin!

You’ll have your own reasons why you love it, but for me the Wellness Warehouse in Cape Town’s Kloof Lifestyle Centre on Kloof Street is what I call a “safe zone” – you can do what you want, buy what you want and EAT what you want with COMPLETE gay abandon and you won’t hate yourself when you’re done! PERFECT!

I don’t know where to start but this place is a complete mind fuck! It is MASSIVE and basically takes up the whole of the Kloof Lifestyle centre’s top section. It doesn’t end! You walk in and see the usual mainstream convenience products lined-up over several aisles and are impressed by the pharmacy in the other corner – reminding you of of a classic Boots setup – but then you realise that this theme takes up only a QUARTER of the store.

You walk further and discover what-can-only-be-described as four or five other themes. Like you’ve walked into a CENTRE of sorts, with different stores offering different things – all falling under the heading health and wellness. But this is not a centre, my friends, this is ONE FUCKING SHOP! You’ll never want to leave!

One section is dedicated to supplements and complimentary medicine, whilst another offers pilates and sports equipment. You go further into the wonderland of health and notice a plants and flowers section, a book shop focusing on body, mind and soul, a naturopathic dispensary, a spa (full, including hairdressers, massages etc.), standard cosmetics section including the likes of Clarins and Garnier, a section with stuff that is normally hard to get (like Dermalogica), a food market with wide organic choice and even recommended special bed mattresses and shower heads demonstration area! Then, just when you think it’s all over, you collapse in the deli section with full Kauai-type counter with sandwiches, smoothies and everything else you want to gobble up. It is completely out of control!

Just like the question “have you joined facebook” was on everyone’s lips for WAY too long, “have you been to the Wellness Warehouse” is picking up momentum and I SUGGEST you get your answer ready. Go there, and you’ll be pleased you did. You’ll get lost and won’t want to leave. Then you’ll go again. And again. Then you’ll join discussions over dinner asking WHAT we did before the Wellness Warehouse came along. Like HOW did we cope without cellphones? It’s the same thing – but it doesn’t give you radiation burn.

It’s ALL good and it’s something you have never experienced before. It makes the classic South African retail experience look like something out of Tarzan.

You’ll love it! I suggest you get in there quick!

Look at yourself man, you’re a WRECK!!

Seth is pampered from time to time

That aside, more and more of today’s men are taking time out to pamper themselves and have joined the previously female-only strive for eternal youth – ever aware of the prime condition of the men seen in adverts gracing the GQ’s and Vanity Fair’s of the world. My mother was sending me to secret facials behind my dad’s back since I was 16. I remind you that I was, and still am an only child.

I got a call from Glasshouse the other day, inviting me for a pampering. They received a swift “yes” from my side and welcomed me at their premises in “The Foundry” (near Beluga there) a few days later.

Glasshouse – Rejuvenation for men

Glasshouse – “Rejuvenation for men” was started by sisters Carol and Beryl Erikson, who’s motives for starting this company are slightly dubious, given that they are both single. Their full-service grooming parlour STRICTLY for men offers everything from facials, peels, manicures, pedicures, massages and body wraps to teeth whitening, waxing, tinting (pushing it a bit) and will even serve you a cold beer (in a glass) for your troubles! You can even watch sport on plasma TV’s whilst they tend to your gorgeous body.

They treated me to a Hot Stone massage and educated me in the ways of grooming by informing me that these massages don’t come with a happy ending.

Fair enough.

I just thought…..you know….for the price you’re charging………never mind.

So that’s it people. Treat yourself. Live longer. Look younger. Score more chicks. Find love. Get Married. Keep pampering yourself. Look younger. Get a divorce. Score more chicks. etc. etc.

Their website has a full breakdown of all their services, prices etc. Check it out here.

Or go and visit them at:

110a The Foundry
74 Prestwich Street
Green Point
Phone: 021 419 9599
www.glasshousemen.com

Before we get into that, I must just tell you a story I heard this morning. The Surfer called me and told me that The Chief bought a new PVR decoder and got in some guys to install it for him. They arrive at the house and he leaves them there to finish up. Apparently it was a fuck fest. The satellite dish had to be changed and all sorts of shit. They stay there SIX HOURS!! From 14h30 to 20h30. He assumes they have left and gets a call at about 20h30 from ADT. ADT tell him the alarm has gone off at the house and they have caught some burglars. He arrives home with two ADT guys holding guns, standing over the two satellite installation guys SITTING ON THEIR HANDS ON THE FLOOR.

Beautiful.

Anyway, back to the video…