The G20 was carrying on over the past week or so and you might remember we mentioned CNN’s Christiane Amanpour when she destroyed one Robert Gabriel Mugabe in his first interview with the Western World in the last five years.

South African president, Jacob “Jay-Z” Zuma got his turn on CNN with the same lady. She didn’t pussy-foot around, either. South Africa’s AIDS policy came up (onions/beetroot et al), and so did crime, jobs, Zuma’s rape case, the shower scene, Zimbabwe/Mugabe, “quiet diplomacy” and much, much more.

On AIDS and Thabo Mbeki’s previous statements, Zuma basically punished him and said that Thabo had given his own personal views, rather than that of thr ANC. Refreshing, to say the least.

It goes on – it’s all pretty good. Quite cool seeing our wet-behind-the-ears prez on a massive global news talk show!

And yes, he did use the words “actually” and “in fact,” every now and then.

In fact.

Actually.

Check it out:

PART 1 : (Discussing running a new government during the recession, un/employment, crime, weapon trading with Syria, comments on Sudan)

PART 2 : (AIDS, rape case, shower scene)

PART 3 : (Zimbabwe, Mugabe, Football World Cup, worker (wehkas) threats, potential violence, goals as president, the rainbow nation)

Pretty impressive stuff all in all, although he definitely seemed a tad out of his depth. Welcome to the first world, my boy! And I don’t mean that in a derogatory way. I call a lot of my friends “boy.” Including whites, Asians and prawns. My mother calls me “boy,” I might add!

Back to Zuma, he really should learn how to busk, rather than ramble. Other than that, I was fine with the overall package.

What did you think?

Barack Obama has just made his his first trip to sub-Saharan Africa as president. This weekend brought a 21-hour visit to Ghana, direct from the G8 Summit and chilling with The Pope in Italy.

Because that’s how he rolls.

He has also just met Jacob Zuma face-to-face as presidents for the first time at the G8 Summit.

Zuma asked for a pic for his Facebook page.

Barack Obama meets Jacob Zuma
Shades on. Amazing vibe.

Apparently Obama hinted on Friday that he’ll be attending next year’s World Cup soccer championship in South Africa.

When asked whether he’ll be attending the matches, his reply was “That’s my goal.”

[no spice]

The White House said Obama has agreed to meet with the head of FIFA, the governing body of the sport, about the World Cup.

Because that’s how he rolls.

But then enjoy this. After answering the question, the U.S. president playfully asked, “Did you get that?”

[The joke. He was asking if they got the joke he made with the play on words "that's my goal." (ie. football goal - for the dof ones out there). Don't you love that vibe about him? He cracks a joke and then isn't shy to check if the journo's got it? Incredible. My god he is wonderful.]

Anyway, back to the Ghana vibe. This is his first trip to sub-Saharan Africa as president and therefore his first solely-focused speech and message to Africa and Africans.

It’s quite a big deal.

So here it is..

The Obama’s cruise into Ghana

Text of President Obama’s speech Saturday in Accra, Ghana, as prepared for delivery and provided by the White House:

Good morning.

It is an honor for me to be in Accra, and to speak to the representatives of the people of Ghana.

Read the rest of this entry »

Dom from Goldfish took some time out from being a global sex symbol and sent this in:

Hello Darling

Not sure if you got this, but I really enjoyed our Three 1st Ladies vibe during the State of the Nation address…

Our President must have kept them up late practicing his speech.

Zzzzzzz..uma
priceless!

South Africa’s three first wives
Having a little dos during Jacob Zuma’s
first State o’ the Nation address

Did you see what Dom did there at the end? Extending the “Z” at the beginning of “Zuma” to indicate sleep. Oh, very nice.

I like that. I like it a lot. You did well there, Dom – ta.

Very different “look” old JZ goes for in terms of partners, don’t you think?

Different to, say, Sarkozy.

ANC Youth League spokesperson and professional comedian, Floyd Shivambu, makes a return to these pages after pleasing us no-end with his “sleeping around” radio interview (here) and the discovery of his blog (here).

It is that very blog which brings us here today. You see Floyd has included some Google ads on his blog page and, much like our recently reported Filipina bride Google Ads story (here), there is some humour to be found. To recap, the Google AdSense code which produces the ad actually reads your webpage and will publish an ad depending on the content – hopefully then keeping within the theme of the website.

Check out the ads on Floyd’s blog:

“Help Stop Jacob Zuma” ads appearing
on ANC Youth League spokesperson,
Floyd Shivambu blog

Ads encouraging readers of Floyd’s website to help
opposition party leader Helen “Cougar” Zille

The internet work in mysterious ways..

I should also mention to the DA that next time they buy a web address like helpstopzuma.co.za, they might want to get the .com as well..

Have a wonderful day, friends. I’m meeting with The UK Showbiz Guy and then probably doing a bit of shopping down the King’s Road today. Might even pop into the new Vida e on Regent Street.

Oh, check out Floyd’s website here.

[thanks andre]

One thing about getting older is people take you more seriously and, in doing so, allow your statements and thoughts to be heard or, more to the point, published.

Now, blogging aside, the opportunity to write for, or to get quoted by the likes of The New York Times, Vanity Fair or Rolling Stone, is a big deal. Especially for aspiring writers and thinkers.

That’s why it was a special treat to see 2oceansvibe’s very own “The Marketer” (Jonty Fisher), cracking a mention in a recent New York Times article.

The piece, by British journalist and The New York Times London bureau correspondent, Alan Cowell, entitled “Wrestling With Ghosts of Colonialism“ discusses what happened to Zimbabwe under Mugabe and comparing this to where South Africa may or may not be heading under the new Zuma rule.

The piece ended with a quote by our boy, which perfectly echoes 2oceansvibe’s sentiments.

“Sadly, I feel that too often the white elite fall into the ‘Chicken Little’ mentality,” Jonty Fisher, a white South African blogger, said in a posting before Mr. Zuma’s election. “They are continually waiting for the sky to fall.”

Good boy!

- Jonty writes periodically for Mail & Guardian’s Thoughtleader (here), as well as his own blog called Fishbowl (here).

- CLICK HERE for the original article, from whence the quote came.

I just stumbled upon an article on the Dan Nicholl owned iafrica and, whilst it is clearly apparent that Helen “Cougar” Zille is set for martyrdom, there is something far more important to discuss.

Helen “Cougar” Zille

Yup, you will be pleased to know a new name has surfaced amongst the ranks; The many ranks and files and levels and divisions that form the greater ruling government. This time we’re dealing with something you’ll be forgiven for not having heard of before – I’m talking about the MKMVA. You know, the MK Military Veterans’ Association. I’ll give you a further clue (which iafrica thought unnecessary) by revealing that MK stands for Umkhonto we Sizwe (is is emboert that I didn’t know that?). Click here for a brief history.

In fact.

Actually.

That’s right. Malema was fun (here), Floyd was hilarious (here), but now we have a new contender whose name alone should secure lunch-time chatter victory.

So just read through this and it will hit you. Hopefully as hard as it hit me. Best you sit down – I wouldn’t read this on the trot. You know when you’re just scanning over something without thinking and suddenly you stop and are forced to re-read the sentence after you realise a crazy word like “penis” has cropped up? Ja, it’s a similar sensation.

Seriously, don’t ruin it for yourself. Just read through it from the beginning, normally. It’s not long. Don’t cheat. You trust me, right?

Flip through this and I’ll catch you afterwards:

Western Cape premier Helen Zille has called on the ANC to restrain its allies amid plans by the MK Military Veterans’ Association (MKMVA) to march on her office on Wednesday.

“Well, I think that the ANC leaders should call those hotheads and loudmouths to account. I ignore them – I’m not making an issue with them,” she told the SABC on Tuesday.

“Quite frankly I am getting on with my work and they must dance on the sidelines. It is their right to dance on the sidelines, it is my duty to work,” the national broadcaster quoted her as saying,

Earlier an MKMVA spokesperson said veterans would march to the Western Cape legislature to demand she apologise to President Jacob Zuma for saying he had put his wives at risk of contracting HIV when he had unprotected sex with an infected woman.

National organiser Fatty Booi said the association had secured authorities’ permission for the march, which would start in District Six and make its way through the Cape Town city centre to Zille’s office in Wale Street.

[more here]

PFWAAAAHAHAHA!!

Come now… where is Ashton Kutcher? This has GOT to be his biggest Punk’d yet! He’s got the whole nation! Any moment now he’s gonna pull off his mask and reveal that he was Julius all along and Justin Timberlake will appear from behind a corner, smiling, nodding, as we all point and shout, “Oh my God, don’t say you were…”

And he’ll continue nodding and quip, “Floyd, that’s right. God, did you guys really believe these characters could be real? You IDIOTS!”

Then he’ll probably come over and give me a high five and whisper in my ear, “love the blog.” I’ll respond with, “Dick in a Box was awesome.” Then we’ll snap into a the Bye Bye Bye dance routine, to raptures of applause.

Good one, Ashton, you got us. It’s a pity it had to end – but it’s your own fault. I mean really, “Fatty Booi?” Very naughty – that kind of ruined it.

Seriously, give it up.

ps. whilst farting around iafrica’s website, I noticed one of those Vodacom “Player 23″ ads. I just thought I should mention that there is a resounding “thumbs down” from the majority of the crew re: the concept and, more importantly, the Pieter van Zyl lookalike “stereotype” fan that was chosen to represent, dare I say, us.

[thanks Dean Mc]

While our new president, Jacob “Let’s Dance” Zuma is certainly known for his dance style, I think he’ll come off second best to Barack Hussein Obama , when it comes to basketball.

Check him out shooting hoops.

Obama has such a radically cool air about him.

Now let’s check out the South African president, Jacob Zuma , doing what he does best.

Aaah, ja.. They’re so very different.

Good times..

[thanks bernhard]

There are loads of local political mainstream media articles for me to pick up on, but it all becomes a bit of a blur, to be honest. None of them really stand out and it takes something pretty big to warrant comment from this, your home.

The infamous ANC Youth League has “SLAMMED” Helen Zille’s latest comments about South African President, Jacob Zuma – where she stated that “he has put his three wives at risk of contracting HIV.” This was clearly with reference to his rape case a couple years back (he was acquitted) which involved an HIV positive woman as the recipient of his lust.

You won’t BELIEVE their response.

This, from NEWS24:

ANCYL slams ‘racist girl’ Zille

Cape Town – The ANC Youth League has launched its most personal attack yet on Democratic Alliance leader Helen Zille in response to her remark that President Jacob Zuma has put his wives at risk of contracting HIV.

 

The Two Zees
Helen “cougar” Zilla and Jacob “let’s dance” Zuma

 

The league said it was “disgusted by remarks attributed to the racist girl Helen Zille, who when failing to defend her stupid and sexist decision to appoint predominantly white males into her Cabinet, attacks the president of the Republic of South Africa (sic)”.

“Zille has appointed an all male Cabinet of useless people, majority of whom are her boyfriends and concubines so that she can continue to sleep around with them, yet she claims to have the moral authority to question our president (sic).”

The Sowetan on Tuesday quoted Zille as saying: “Zuma is a self-confessed womaniser with deeply sexist views, who put all his wives at risk by having unprotected sex with an HIV-positive woman.”

Militant action

The remarks reportedly came in response to criticism from Congress of SA Trade Unions (Cosatu) Western Cape secretary Tony Ehrenreich on the composition of her provincial executive.

Zille is the only woman on the team.

The ANCYL threatened to take “militant action” against the premier. [nice!]

“If the fake racist girl Zille continues to speak hogwash like she has been doing during elections, we will take militant action against her, and demonstrate to her that she does not have monopoly over the Western Cape (sic),” it said.

“The fake racist girl who was dropped on her head as child should understand that South Africa will never be a Mickey-mouse republic like she wants to portray it (sic),” it added.

“An absolute majority of South Africans support President Jacob Zuma and will find it very disgusting for a fake racist apartheid agent to continue undermining the highest office in South Africa (sic).”

ANC condemns Zille statement

The ANC has also condemned Zille’s statement, saying it was “astounded by the extraordinary attack by Democratic Alliance leader Helen Zille on the person of President Jacob Zuma.”

Zuma conceded during his rape trial in 2006 that he had had unprotected sex with his accuser, an HIV positive family friend, but said he had showered afterwards to minimise the risk of infection.

Asked for comment, Zille’s spokesperson Fritz de Klerk said a response was being drafted.

Jeez guys, why don’t you say what you REALLY mean!

God these people crack me up.

It’s just no holds barred, all of the time.

This rainbow nation sure is flavoursome!

[thanks sigrid]

Probably the best part of the entire Sunday Times I read yesterday, was the small front page article about the hellish tantrum thrown by Libyan leader, Muammar al-Gaddafi.

Please enjoy this from the Sunday Times:

Gaddafi throws a tantrum

Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi’s arrival on Friday was marred by controversy after he threatened to boycott Jacob Zuma’s inauguration as president.

 

Muammar Gaddafi
Slick..

 

Gaddafi was apparently annoyed when he was received by minister of arts and culture Pallo Jordan, who he considered too “junior”. He would have preferred to have been received by either Zuma or outgoing President Kgalema Motlanthe, who had been tasked by the ANC to do so.

The Sunday Times has established that Gaddafi sent Zuma a message saying he would not attend the inauguration, but would see him today instead.

Government and ANC officials said Zuma then met with Gaddafi at midnight on Friday to avert a no-show.

When Gaddafi arrived at the inauguration, he was officially greeted twice.

[source]

Officially greeted…TWICE! Beautiful!

I mean REALLY, guys. You should have known what you were dealing with. Does this not ring a bell? As a refresher, it was Gaddafi who very recently (in March, here) walking out of a summit, following an attack on Saudi King Abdullah calling him a “British product and American ally”.

Gaddafi doesn’t stand for any shit and was quoted (following the aforementioned summit) as saying, “I am an international leader, the dean of the Arab rulers, the king of kings of Africa and the imam (leader] of Muslims, and my international status does not allow me to descend to a lower level.”

Yeee-haa!! Sounds pretty similar to this weekend’s vibe, don’t you think?

He has loads of thoughtful pearls of wisdom, mind you. There was the Coca-Cola quote:

“Whenever I ask about Pepsi Cola or Coca Cola, people immediately say it is an American or European drink … this is not true, the cola is African! They have taken the cheap raw material from us and produced it into a drink that they sell back for an exorbitant price! Why are Pepsi Cola and Coca Cola expensive? Because they have taken our cola and cheated us! We should produce it ourselves!”

Go Gaddafi!

It would be a trifle rude not to mention the crowning of our new South African president – Jacob “JZ” Zuma, on Saturday.

Jacob Zuma
South African president
9 May 2009 -

I was chatting to some friends this weekend and suggested that there is something quite wonderful about living in a nation where the president manages to comeback from rape and corruption charges, has three wives and often, often, wears animal skins and dances and sings.

My God, we certainly have come a long way since PW Botha. Jesus, can you imagine the finger pointing if he had to witness this, our latest chapter? He may very well be turning in his grave.

I’m certainly not saying he (JZ) is a saint and I have never confirmed my support for him, but there is no doubt that his being made president adds to the magic/craziness of this wonderfully colourful rainbow nation of ours. And that’s why I live here – because, good or bad, to be a part of this journey is something that not many people in the world are able to experience.

We’ve seen a lot and we’re going to be seeing a lot more.

Come on in, JZ, try not to balls it up.

I would be very surprised if Jacob Zuma gives these new bank notes the go ahead when he takes over.

Don’t panic, my angel – everything will be fine..

Unless you’re determined to add negative energy to the mix?

Julius Malema, the ANC Youth League president who vowed to kill for Jacob Zuma , scored an H in standard grade Maths, and a G in Woodwork (also Standard Grade).

Check check check it out.

This, from iol:

G in Woodwork

 

ANC Youth League President Julius Malema scraped through matric with an H in maths and a G in woodwork, both on the Standard Grade (SG).

While the league has branded the emailed list of Malema’s lacklustre results as a “faked” attempt to discredit him, Independent Newspapers has established that the results are real.

A senior source at the department of education this week confirmed that a digital copy of Malema’s results is “genuine”.

The email reveals that Malema, 27, passed matric with Es in Sepedi HG and second language Afrikaans HG, an F in geography HG, D in history SG and a C in second language English HG, the latter being his highest mark.

When initially approached for comment on Malema’s results, which he reportedly obtained at the age of 21, youth league spokesperson Floyd Shivambu was adamant that they were “fake”.

“We as the youth league became aware of this (email) early last week and we regard it as not being a reflection of reality that is designed to discredit our leadership.

“You can see from how these results were written that they are not real.”

He added that the youth league had considered consulting computer experts about establishing the source of the email, which he said he believed was someone “with an agenda”.

He, however, declined to reveal what Malema’s “real” results were, stating that the youth league was “not focused on the individual, but the collective”.

Contacted by Independent Newspapers on Thursday, after the education department confirmed the authenticity of the results, Shivambu reiterated that “as far as we’re concerned, these results are not a reflection of reality”.

Besides, he said, “we are not preoccupied with personal achievements in the ANC Youth League… we don’t want to look at personal achievements”.

“This really is not much of a crisis for us; it won’t keep us awake at night.”

Malema, who could not be reached for comment, has previously admitted that he failed both Grades 8 and 9, but said this was because he could not contain his excitement about joining Cosas (Congress of South African Students).

He reportedly never achieved more than 60 percent in any of his school subjects during this time.

Despite his poor results, Malema successfully registered for a law degree at Unisa.

That, my friends, was AWESOME!

[thanks simon]

Here it comes again.

Panic. Fear. Run for the hills!

Another episode has unfolded in this, Season 14 of the most successful Series in South African history – The Law, The Land and Her People, as we see one of the show’s stars, Thabo Mbeki, stepping down as South Africa’s president.

Thabo Mbeki
South African President
1999 – 2008

Again we find ourselves exchanging casual conversation with varying degrees of debate, littered with never-ending conflicting opinions that we repeat and change a thousand times; depending on what new information we have picked up from so-and-so’s son, who’s father is “one of the heads of” Anglo, or Rembrandt, or Pick n Pay, or the Government itself!).

[I thought a little semi-colon would do the trick back there]

And again I urge those who feel that “THIS time we REALLY are all fucked,” to get on the next plane and let us be. Because the “we” you refer to has nothing to do with US. The “we” you are using is, in fact, YOU.

Because WE have chosen NOT to live like that. WE will continue to do everything WE can to uplift this nation. WE know full well how damaging and influential talk of the apocalypse can be to others. Those less educated. Those who follow and fuel the fearmongers. The hatemongers. Joining the league who have no understanding of energy and the universe. Something WE too have little understanding of, but manage to survive on the most basic of the given concept – that of positivity. Whatever the context.

My simple understanding or lack-thereof of politics does not permit me to abuse my soap-box position with misunderstood comments regarding deep political issues and factions and parties and the myriad of ongoing issues including the “arms deal,” with a straight face. But, in keeping with the positive attitude to which I refer, I wish to congratulate Thabo Mbeki.

From where I’m sitting, Thabo Mbeki was fingered, fired, and will step down, as requested. Immediately. When last did you see that in African politics, let alone South African politics? From Jackie Selebi to Robert Mugabe, our lot don’t move a fucking muscle when urged to do so. Thabo could have had half the ANC arrested over the weekend if he wanted to. Things are running their course – there is no war.

And, for a man so mocked for his quiet diplomacy over Zimbabwe and his seemingly failed negotiations between the MDC and Zuna PF, what an incredible example he will be showing to Robert Mugabe. Perhaps, for Bob, actions will speak louder than words.

Catch Jacob Zuma in Season 15

I grabbed a R100 loaf of bread and a Sunday Times from Melissa’s on Sunday morning and a young African girl at the counter commented on the headline and her fears of how the country will look to the rest of the World, come the World Cup 2010. Referring in particular to our next leader, Jacob Zuma’s string of misdemeanors.

I agreed that it won’t look 100% savoury, but would you prefer a clown like Bush? Or England most hated Prime Minister in history, Gordon Brown? They’re all just people with various limitations and indiscretions. For God’s sake, Bill Clinton was caught putting a cigar in an intern’s vagina – boys will be boys! But I’d prefer THIS to Iraq, or terrorism, or congestion charges, or religious wars, or hurricanes, or five hours of sunlight, or debilitating pollution levels and the other perks that come with living in countries that have “grown up.”

Keep in mind Zuma was acquitted twice, by a law that his nemesis is said to have been meddling with. Something that has led to his dismissal. The law works. This constitution is real.

Positivity, guys – we need more of it.

Travis Barker
Blink 182

In other EQUALLY topical conversation, did you see that Blink 182’s drummer, Travis Barker, was critically injured in a jet that crashed on the weekend, in which 4 others died? Seriously, he was seen using a fire extinguisher on his own body. I’m not bullshitting you. CLICK HERE.

Oh, and I see the Blue Bulls thumped the Cheetahs!

It’s all happening!

Have a lovely week, people!

I’ve said it a before and I maintain that 2oceansvibe will never become altogether “political.” I do, however, have to lend an ear to the state of the nation and report back from time to time. Particularly when it is taking such a spicy tone, as it is at the moment.

Jay Z

The Sunday Times exposed Thabo Mbeki on the weekend for his involvement in the never-ending Arms Deal probe. An interesting development at a time which features headlines suggesting people will kill for his potential successor, Jacob Zuma. People who also vaguely threaten war at the suggestion that he (Zuma) is even tried in court for his own prior spicy dealings.

I don’t like to make public assumptions in this regard and prefer, as is often the case, to turn to The Marketer, Jonty Fisher who writes for Mail & Guardian’s Thought Leader opinion blog and forum.

Jonty kicks off with:

The recent reports of Mbeki’s alleged misdemeanours in the Sunday Times, along with the elevated rhetoric from those in the Zuma camp over the last week, have surprised and rightly concerned many. Rumours of Mbeki’s involvement in the arms deal have been whispered and deliberated in the corridors of ANC power for some time now, but the timing of the â€Å“leak” of this report is in no way coincidental, and forms part of a wider campaign to force the country to accept the final option open to guarantee Zuma’s freedom.

Last week’s decision by the Constitutional Court to allow the damning documents seized from Zuma’s home and office saw Zuma’s last real chance for freedom spurned. So what is left for Zuma? The answer to that question has been coming for months now, certainly ever since Polokwane, and we are currently ringside at the final outcome. The last page of the Zuma playbook is a blanket amnesty for all those involved in the arms deal, thus ridding Zuma of his presidential shackles and damning Mbeki by implication.

More here..

Nice. A spicy time we’re living in!

Apart from his Mail & Guardian offering, Jonty’s thoughts can also be had at his very own blog, The Fishbowl.

Aah, South Africa – never a dull moment!