2oceans Vibe

Last month, we saw footage of North Koreans weeping hysterically over the death of Kim Jong Il. Shockingly, it now turns out some of those people were just faking it! As punishment, authorities are handing down six months in a labor-training camp to all those who participated, but “didn’t cry and didn’t seem genuine.”

North Korea has begun two days of funeral services for its late leader, Kim Jong-il, with hundreds of thousands expected to attend in Pyongyang. Mourners can be seen bowing in the snow, and reporters can barely contain their tears, as the procession makes it way through the streets.

As North Korea lays to rest their Dear Leader, we should not forget that the ANC Youth League wished to show Kim Jong-il their appreciation for all that he has done for the struggle of the North Korean people, as well as his many achievements. The Youth League will miss their other Dear Leader.

Kim Jong-un, son and heir apparent to his father’s North Korean throne, may have to share rule of the isolated country with the North Korean military and his uncle, a source with close ties to Pyongyang and Beijing has said today.

North Korean television has flighted images of the body of Kim Jong-Il lying in a glass coffin. There was also a flower-bedecked bier supporting the casket. His son and successor, Kim Jong-Un and other senior officials could be seen paying their respects.

As you know, yesterday the world lost a pretty decent dictator. Understandably Kim Jong-il’s nation has been struck down with grief, bordering on mass hysteria. Check out insane footage of North Koreans grieving as if their lives depend on it – after the jump.

As the saying goes in Pyongyang, one good Kim deserves another. So, as Dear Leader’s dearest son prepares to assume the mantle of power, let’s look back at some of Kim Jong-Il’s greatest hits.

It ‘s going to be creativity and persistence that will get the world through the current financial crises it’s enduring. Our Dear Leader, KimJong-il, has finally come to the party too and ventured into the tourism business: North Korea’s first cruise ship is here. It’s old and a bit of a joke, but a start none-the-less.

Our Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il, has caught a train to Russia and will meet and attend an energy summit with President Dmitry Medvedev later this week. The summit is expected to focus on energy cooperation and nuclear disarmament, no spice. But, Our Dear Leader is probably also after a business opportunity that will make money out of South Korea.

Kim Jong Eun is the son of North Korea’s Kim Jong Il. He is destined to rule this nuclear-armed rogue nation one day, but it is said that his dad is rather obsessed with the whole “eternal president” concept. So much so, that he’s sent his son for six plastic surgery procedures to look more like him and his father. See if you can spot the resemblances – I’d suggest starting with the double chins.

The North Koreans are the cleanest people in the world. And nothing says clean like scraping filth off your tongue. Our Dear Leader uses the “Dear Leader” tongue scraper at least once a day to keep his mouth pure and unfettered by the air blowing from south of the border.

We’ve basically spent the whole day crashing around the office in a state of glee, playing Intern Skittles (we’ll explain the rules at a later stage), Intern Pinata, and Pin The Tale On The Intern. And it’s all in aid of celebrating a special boy’s birthday!

Our Dear Leader, The Great and Beneficent Kim Jong Il has, after all these years of preserving its purity, seen it fit to allow his adoring public access to the great and magnificent Pyongyang Golf Complex. Players from all across the world (except South Korea, naturally) are invited to take part in the first North Korean Amateur Golf Open.

Kim Jong Il, the bluebird on the arc of the rainbow, the morning stag – Our Dear Leader – has offered the simpering worms, South Korea, an olive branch of peace. Will South Korea take that branch, or will they perish in a Sea Of Flame?

The Associated Press, bless them, voted Betty White as top entertainer of the year because she starred in a Snickers ad and stays on longer than an iPad. Look, I love tannie Betty but if you put entertainer and 2010 in the same sentence you kind of want to throw these names in there too.

Kim Jong Il’s thousand yard stare is known from all four corners of the earth. His enemies tremble before it, his friends allow it to fill them with the glory of ages past, and the certain hope of yet more to come. Our Dear Leader, as we like to call him (some us even get to call him Special K, but hey, each to his own, right?) enjoys staring at things. We should enjoy staring at him, staring at things.

The Asian rumour mill has been grinding away on the same grist for some time now – Our Dear Leader is on his way out, health-wise. Reports have surfaced in recent months of Kim Jong Il’s chronic kidney failure, and general lapse into a malaise of poor health. In short, he’ll soon be re-joining the rainbow from which he was born. And he’s going out with a bang, ask South Korea.

Come on, be honest, the old footage just wasn’t doing it for you. You needed something new, something fresh. Well I tell you what, Kim Jong il has done it for us. He basically brought in a whole squadron of professional videographers and the result is right here – the most MIND-BLOWING video (set perfectly to music) of Kim Jong il’s army – with rockets and everything.