2oceans Vibe

You can only imagine the zone you can get into, listening to some vinyl, with a joint in one hand and your new iPad in the other – on the day that Google Maps goes live with “Google Street View” for Cape Town. My God, I have traipsed every square inch of this city, all from the comfort of The Safe House sofa!

First I popped in at Caprice to try out the 2oceansvibe cocktail:

Cafe Caprice on Google Maps “Street View”
Nice day they were having when they shot that!

Mmm, that was good!

Follow the link to see where else I went and also learn how to do this on your own computer or iPhone or iPad!

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Tiger van der Westhuizen
Spotted in Mabu Vinyl s shop window – Cape Town
(a follow up to their hilarious Kevin Pietersen window display)

Tiger Woods Named Top Athlete of the Decade - That’s what you get for playing good golf and bonking anything with a heartbeat and a pair of Ray Ban aviators. Who needs a beautiful family when you’ve got a cupboard of beautiful trophies and nightclub sluts in every hotel around the world? [espn]

Manto is Dead – Controversial former health minister declared dead after battle with liver disease. Former health minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang’s death has prompted many of her critics to urge that she be forgiven for her HIV/Aids denialism, which researchers say cost more than 300,000 South Africans their lives. Beetroot, turnips etc. [timeslive]

The $64 billion question: Where are Dubai’s real debts? – It now looks as if the ragged teeth of unfinished skyscrapers that litter Dubai’s skyline portend a deeper truth. The emirate’s once-sparkling smile is now a grimace, and unless the winds of fortune change quickly, and Dubai changes with them, the punch-drunk visage might become a permanent feature. [thedailymaverick]

Google to Challenge Apple With New Phone – Google plans to begin selling its own smartphone early next year, company employees say, a move that could challenge Apple’s leadership in one of the fastest-growing and most important technologies in decades. [nytimes]

Rage Against the Machine up for UK Christmas Number 1 – So many people are sick of The X Factor ruining the race for the Christmas No1 single that they have taken matters into their own hands. Angry music fans have launched a Facebook campaign to get RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE’s 1993 song Killing In The Name to the top spot instead of the X Factor winner. [thesun]

£850,000 Mystery Winner of UK National Lottery Plays Online – A mystery lottery winner from mid Wales has scooped nearly £850,000 without even touching a ticket. National Lottery operator Camelot said the man, known only as Mr F from Powys, played the game interactively – via the web. [bbc]

David Lynch to Direct For Dior – Dior has confirmed that filmmaker David Lynch will be directing the label’s next Lady Dior ad. Lynch, the maker of US TV series Twin Peaks and movies such as Mulholland Drive previously directed the ad for Gucci’s signature fragrance. [luxuo]

The ‘Type n Walk’ iPhone App Will Change Your Life – How did you ever cope before? Type n Walk is a new iPhone app that lets you see what’s in front of you while typing and walking. I’m sure it works while driving as well! [typenwalk]

Tiger Woods, Lack of Privacy and Social Media in General – What do Google CEO Eric Schmidt, the Supreme Court of the United States and golfing giant Tiger Woods have in common? Privacy. More specifically, how we define privacy in our texting, tweeting, Facebooking, YouTubing, Googling era. [huffington]

Alien Water World Found – Astronomers say they have detected a planet just six and a half times as massive as Earth – at a distance so close its atmosphere could be studied, and with a density so low it’s almost certain to have abundant water. No spice. [msnbc]

Party on Girflriend! – Get your high heels on, beautiful babies, ‘cos we’re gonna party like it’s 2999! As Vogue gives you, the laydezz, a lineup of season party dresses from the catwalks of the world. Mmm, sexy time.. [vogue]

The World’s Most Expensive Cupcake – Wondering what makes a cupcake worth $750? It is made from the 100-year-old Louis XIII de Remy Martin Cognac, Palmira Single Estate Chocolate, edible gold flakes and Tahita Gold Vanilla Caviar, believed to be the most labor-intensive agricultural crop in the world. [bornrich]

Top 10 Celebrity Nipple Slips of 2009 – 2009 was a big year in celebrity nipple slips. Cityrag’s top 10 have been selected based on status and cluelessness, a winning combination for wardrobe malfunctions! Follow link to the pictures. [cityrag]

SuperEna Lottery Rollover Madness Hits £96million – That’s the same as R1.17 billion. That’s nearly the same amount as you would need to pay-off all of Tiger Woods’s mistresses! Now that’s a lot of money! [playsuperena]

[thanks kate, ken]

And by a “joke” I mean it’s “off the charts.” So much so that it’s silly.

I tell you what, between Apple products and these guys, life couldn’t be easier.

David, the owner of Caprice gave me no option but to attend a party at Caprice on Saturday night last week. And off I went. Or rather, the crew and I were fetched in one of those ridiculously over-the-top limos with neon lights inside and lazers and DVD screens. In a word?…ludicrous.

Very kak sunset that night..

Keep on rolling baby, you know what time it is..

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t fun. Make no mistake, it’s in another league to the ones they use for matriek balls – with dried body fluids knotting the deep pile carpets. No, no – this one was good clean fun! So we got out of the thing at Caprice and there were camera’s and microphones and all sorts of shit. I think there was also a red carpet. What exactly was going on, I don’t know. Something to do with Jamesons. Either way, we got a stunning table in the 20′s (know your Caprice table numbers, people) and the booze arrived.

The booze was consumed and more came. I stretched out my arm to show Hanneli a photograph on my iPhone and….whoops, the motherfucker fell into an ice bucket. An ice bucket with melted ice in it..

i.e. water. (sometimes you have to spell it out)

Photo taken just before the incident
We were marveling at that angel’s short jean pant.
We approved..

Now you know when there is an emergency and someone is about to die and everyone in the room freezes? Ja, it was like that. I whipped it out and started shaking it.

WATER was coming out of it.

“MY CHIIIIILD!!!!” I screamed, looking up to the heavens, arms outstretched.

“Oh, Jesus, God noooooo,” I pleaded, as The Muse rubbed my back, explaining to those around that whathadjusthappened was very much equal to the loss of a loved one. To me.

I drank the pain away and the next day I called Digicape, who told me what I knew already – about the guys that operate in secret, somewhere near to Mabu Vinyl . They have to be near to Mabu Vinyl, because Mabu Vinyl is where you deliver the thing AND where you pick it up – virtually ALWAYS fixed. I remember using them once before for an iPod which had a dead battery.

No-one SEES these people that fix the things. All you get is an invoice at the end from “iFix iPod Repairs.” Their logo is an oldschool iPod (chunky) with “iFix” on the screen.

I lOVE that vibe. They’re holed up inside some kind of Safe House nearby, where all they do is fix iPods and iPonies and anything that starts with an “i.” There are rumours that they use a team of abused Cambodian children who have no other option but to fix iPods. Apparently they live on memory chips, so it all kind of works out fine. But no-one has photographic evidence, so it can’t be true.

Either way, it’s very cool.

So anyway, let’s get back to the story. Let’s look at this in order of events..

I dropped the iPhone into the ice bucket on Saturday night.

On Sunday the screen was blank and it had dried a bit. I plugged it into my very sexual Macbook Pro, looking for a miracle and SOMEHOW the Macbook managed to talk to the iPhone and it synchronised…

I don’t know exactly what it did, but I took the iPhone to these guys on Monday.

I hacked my way through the week with your classic “piece of shit” phone and then, on Thursday, I got an email telling me it was FIXED. It had to be completely wiped as well but, you know, collateral damage is a reality.

Very naughty.

I picked it up on my way to the Invictus premiere which I attended with The Adventurer (Ryan Scott) who stars in the movie as ex-Springbok Brendon Venter. Whatever, you know – standard stuff. Big Tommy Boyd was there. What a beautiful man.

I left home with my laptop and, on my way to the movie premiere, the phone and the laptop made love.

They had a little baby and the baby was IDENTICAL to the one I thought I had lost. EVERYTHING was there. The contacts, the calendar, the photos, the music. Absolutely everything. Even the front screen wallpaper was there.

And here’s proof that everything is back to normal. Taken tonight. Morgan Freeman, throwing a very cool vibe at the premiere..

Morgs – going for it.

And that was that!

Oh, the movie?

Very good. Watch it. Trust me. I got quite into and even, dare I say, emotional.

And for anything to do with fixing you iPod, check out their website www.ifixipods.co.za for contact details etc.

If there weren’t enough reasons for you to love Mabu Vinyl (2oceansvibe’s vinyl store of choice), this may well be what you’re looking for.

Spotted in their window over the last week:

Spotted in Mabu Vinyl’s shop window..
Enjoy the “Dickhead” sign above the book

You simply CANNOT put a price on that kind of humour.

In a shop window, for God’s sake!

It’s too awesome!

And that’s without even considering our stunning Bubba Gump underbite and ludicrous book title.

Really now, what more do you want from life?

Seeing things like that is like eating chocolate, for me.

I want to lick the shop window.

I may well go and do that today.

[thanks ian]

It was too easy yesterday. I popped into Vida e on Kloof Road and then waltzed over to Mabu Vinyl, just opposite (in the road leading into the Vida entrance – Rheede Street) to pick up some records.

I called the owner, Sugar, from the South of France on the day that Michael Jackson died. I asked him to keep all the Michael Jackson vinyl for me and I would pick it up upon my return.

Which I duly did yesterday.

The one record was Victory, by the Jackson 5. The first track is State of Shock which they recorded with Mick Jagger. My God, what an awesome tune! I very nearly forgot about this one.

Jeez it’s awesome!

“State of Shock ” is a 1984 hit single by The Jacksons featuring frontman Michael Jackson and Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger.

“State of Shock ” was the biggest hit from The Jacksons’ Victory album, reaching number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and number 4 on the Billboard R&B Singles chart. The song is written by Jackson and guitarist Randy Hansen.

The final version featured lead vocals by Michael Jackson and Jagger. “State of Shock” was the last top ten hit for The Jacksons, as well as their last single to be certified gold. The song was later revised by Jagger when he performed it with Tina Turner during their legendary 1985 performance at Live Aid.

What a vibe! With Jagger – going for it!!

Don’t miss out on MABU VINYL’S HALF PRICE SALE going on now. It won’t be going for very long so get your asses down there!

Mabu Vinyl HALF PRICE SALE
Website here

You do have a vinyl player, right?

Sort that out, if you haven’t yet.

Nick Goldblatt is due one, I’m sure..