You ever heard a blogger say, “You want impartiality? Read a newspaper”?

Ja, well, if you want impartiality, don’t read a newspaper. At least, don’t read the New Age newspaper.

What’s that? You haven’t heard of the New Age newspaper?

No, that’s quite alright. You’re not expected to know about it. They themselves confess that their target readership will be LSM 4 to 10.

Now, “LSM” stands for Living Standards Measurement, it’s basically an indication of the lifestyle and wealth of an audience. In other words, an LSM of 4 to 10 is the majority of people in our lovely country. Coincidentally, Brendan Seery would be aiming for a similar audience LSM.

2oceansvibers, you won’t have heard of the New Age because 2oceansvibe’s audience is in a slightly different LSM – so don’t beat yourself up over it.

But here’s the spice. New Age launched by the Gupta family. You haven’t heard of them either? OK, it’s time to catch up, this concerns you.

CLICK HERE for a public service announcement

With the Soccer World Cup just 24 days, four hours and 20 minutes away, it’s so comforting to know that our beloved RSA is getting the accurate international press coverage that we deserve.

I mean, take this, for example, courtesy of Chicago’s WGN news.

Read the rest of this entry »

Wine fans throughout the country are urged to pick up the latest copy of Wine Magazine and to cast their eyes over to the back page of this, the April issue. That is where you will find us, in all our glory, raising a toast to you.

You should find the interview suitably amusing.

* To read interview, click image for full-size view..

To read interview, click image for full-size view

*Photograph was taken by one of SA’s leading surf photographers, Anthony Fox .

CLICK HERE for a stack of his past 2oceansvibe features.

CLICK HERE for Google results.

Look, I’m aware that I give “hope” and that I’m a “role model” to many hot men and women around the world, but it never struck me that I was a “leader” as well.

Hell, that’s bloody marvelous, man!

Get yourselves a copy of the latest issue of Leadership Magazine and quietly enjoy our little double page spread (we call that a “DPS” in the industry). And you can keep it all to yourself – with the full page poster.

*cough* recommended bedtime reading, if you know what I mean…

Lancey, giving it a full rev on the cover of the latest Leadership

CLICK HERE for article from the Latest Leadership Magazine
They used the shot of me and Peroni Girl, Landi Swanepoel
Taken during our 2oceansvibe WeatherGirls shoot (photo : VC Photo)

It’s interesting to note that they wanted me on the cover, but that was before they found out Lance would be in Cape Town to ride the Argus. They asked if I minded.

“No, man, fuck don’t be silly!” I told them, “Lancey’s a good boy – tell him no problem whatsoever!”

Sure, some people might interpret it as being “sidelined” but, I mean, really, the guy is coming here to visit our beautiful shores and ride our race – put.him.on.the.bloody.cover!

Between us, me and Lance know that we’re on the same “level,” and that’s all that’s all that really matters.

[thanks robbie]

I found myself at the University of Cape Town on Friday afternoon, assuming the role of guest speaker at some kind of business strategy thing they were doing. They wanted the whole vibe and nothing but the vibe. So that’s what I gave them..

I wore my coolest T-shirt which allowed me to blend in seamlessly. That, combined with my kick-ass break-the-ice first slide, gave me the respect I so desperately craved. From that point I just had to deal with the hot angel students out there who were basically undressing me with their eyes.

*cough* fifth row from the bottom in the middle, next to the guy in the red shirt – If perving that is wrong, I don’t want to be right..

Business Science honours students get the 2oceansvibe seal of approval  

So we all hung out for about an hour and I would like to take this opportunity to give the entire lecture theatre of students a double thumbs up from 2oceansvibe – you guys were great – I really had such a good time. Thank you.

Also a big thanks goes to these three angels who made my walk to the car that bit more pleasant.

UCT angles, murdering the campus

Umm, is there a course I could take at UCT which doesn’t require attendance, but still allows you to loiter on campus?

It’s a massive week for 2oceansvibe and Butlers this week. Not only has the much anticipated “Rotherham” pizza been launched on the menu, but fellow 2oceansvibe sponsor, NoMU spices, is also featuring on the menu. That’s right, for the first time ever, peri-peri will be available as a topping on your pizza – and it’s NoMU peri-peri nogal!

But let’s focus on The Rotherham pizza for now. I’ll get straight to the point, the secret of The Rotherham pizza is that it comes “pre-tweaked.” The true Butlers pizza connoisseurs out there will know than you can pimp your pizza slightly. I’m not talking about the toppings, I’m talking about tweaking it. Like asking for a “thin base,” rather than standard base.

It’s on the left of the menu, in the orange highlight.
CLICK MENU to enlarge

So I’ll kickoff by telling you that The Rotherham comes STANDARD with a thin base. But wait, that’s not all. If you call in the next 10 minutes Enjoy this, it comes standard with only HALF the normal portion of pizza cheese. That’s right. That’s how I like it. Neat and tidy.

Look at you… you want to order one and I haven’t even told you the ingredients yet! Are you ready to hear them? Ok, it’s quite simple..

Bacon, Salami and Feta, with only half the normal cheese, on a thin base.

Hey?

What did I tell you?

Give me a break!

Try “The Rotherham” WITH NoMU peri-peri..

Order it now, but do yourself a favour and ask the lady on the phone to add some NoMU peri-peri to The Rotherham – then you’ll really be getting your vibe on. I just know you’ll love it!

Click the menu above to check it out. The phone numbers are on that as well.

CLICK HERE fo Butlers Pizza – Cape Town’s Number 1

Well I suggest you do – because there is something of a surprise waiting for you on board. That’s right, my lover – over 100,000 copies of the Mango Airlines in-flight magazine, “Juice,” have been printed and they are yours to keep!

Why would you care about the Mango Airlines in-flight magazine?

Let me show you..

This month’s cover of “Juice” Magazine
Mango Airlines in-flight magazine

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ARTICLE

No, I am not shitting you – it’s real. Can you even cope with that facial expression? Hahahaha! I’m like, “sure, I slept with your wife, but how good is this cocktail? Here, try some..”

God, what a DICK!

That shot was taken at the Sky Bar, by the way – at my primary residence, the 5-star Cape Royale hotel. The very same hotel which recently had employees from Coral International hotel in the lobby, trying to poach guests as they checked in.

So for those of you who were about to book on another airline, stop what you’re doing right now and get your mouse over to Mango Airlines.You can’t buy these mags in the shops so flying on Mango will be the best chance you have of grabbing a copy. And it’s a top story – written by none other than Simon Hartley .

What’s more, we’re giving away a free Butlers pizza and a free Euromillions Lottery voucher to everyone who sends in a picture of themselves on a Mango Airlines plane, holding up a copy of the magazine. Seductively.

Competition runs until the end of the month.

Send your pics to editor@2oceansvibe.com with the subject “Touch my Mango” and we’ll sort you out.

*If you do not live in Cape Town, you may transfer the pizza to a friend of yours in Cape Town. They will then owe you a favour and you will have the power. If you don’t have a friend in Cape Town then the pizza will be kept for you until you move here.

Thanks to Monique and the crew for an awesome day shooting and mucking about at the 5-star Cape Royale Hotel.

We’re breaking the tradition of Tuesday Tabs this week, and, instead of featuring a tasteful picture of a beautiful woman and her breasts, we are featuring a bum. Why would we break such a world renowned weekly tradition, you ask? Because it’s not every day that I am featured, naked, in the Marie Claire.

That’s right, you heard me..

Vanessa Raphaely couldn’t contain herself and has already leaked one of the pics from the shoot on her blog, Hurricane Vanessa – so I thought I’d do the same!

So here’s another pic from the same shoot! Anything else you will have to see for yourself in the latest copy of Marie Claire – it’s the annual Naked Issue, of course.. and this year it’s in support of the very worthy Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust (more here).

Click pic to enlarge photo and remove censorship..

CLICK for uncensored higher res image  

The wound on my arm is even cooler – that was from the little whoopsie I had on my scooter a few days before. Please also excuse the incredibly amazing shorts tan – I fell asleep in the sun the day before. Rookie error. Although, in a way, it’s kinda cool..

And so are the shots of Jeannie D, I might add..

Marie Claire – “The Naked Issue”
On Shelves Wednesday..

Ooooh..naughty!

Be sure to pick up your copy of the latest Marie Claire to see the rest.

It hits shelves on Wednesday 13 January!

It’ll be really “weird” and “coincidental” when it sells out. Like that issue of ELLE Magazine. And that YOU Magazine issue. And that record-breaking Top Billing TV episode..

Hey, look, I don’t have a problem with it – let’s shift some bloody units!

In November I alerted you about the Seth Rotherham feature in the ELLE Magazine. I didn’t publish it in full on these pages, as the magazine was still in circulation. It is now off the shelves and has coincidentally become one of their most successful issues ever. Weird.. especially with that issue of YOU Magazine breaking similar records *cough* lest we forget the highest number of viewers ever that the Top Billing TV feature received.

But let’s not go on about “boosting” numbers and “breaking records” – I just thought that I would show you the ELLE interview, now that the magazine is sold out.

BANG!

Click image to enlarge..

CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE TO READING SIZE
FEEL IT INSIDE YOU

Good times. Did you know about my “C-TAP” nickname?

It’s funny.. I regularly get into what pot-smokers describe as a “zone” during interviews and, when published, I often don’t remember what I said at the time.

My favourite answer would have to be the one about the dolphins. That really made me chuckle.

And howz that pic of me and my labrador? Her name was Katie.

KAAATIE, KATIE, KATIE, KATIE, KATIEEEEEEE!

FOOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIE, FOODIEEEES!!!!

I put “on it’s head” in inverted commas to indicate a quote, presumably by someone with authority. Given the topic of wine pairing, one would hope, at the very least, that the quote came from someone within the food or wine industry. In truth… it didn’t – I made it up. Yup, that’s right. Much like the wine pairings I submitted for this month’s famed NoMU Food Files Mailer – a monthly newsletter which goes out to tens of thousands of “foodies” across the world. The newsletter features delicious easy recipes, food tips, spice trivia, wine pairings and competitions. It is available in both English and Spanish.

Here’s a taste of the latest mailer (sorry, couldn’t help myself).

Tracy (as signed above) is the owner of NoMU and, as mentioned in my esteemed wine pairings, I have had the pleasure of her very own private home cuisine. Now whilst I do admit to “making up” the various pairings I gave as this month’s NoMU mailer guest contributor, I do feel my suggestions have merit. And anyway, I was told that there weren’t really any rules when it came to the process – a notion which suits me to a tee!

Please contain yourself as I present the photo and intro I was bestowed:

“Glowing,” you might say?

It’s always satisfying when people take your musings seriously (in both English and Spanish, no less!), and even better when they accompany it with a photo of you taking yourself even more seriously!

Jokes aside, the 2oceansvibe audience has a certain sophistication and I am well aware of the leagues of food fans out there. That said, if you haven’t yet subscribed to the NoMU Food Files mailer, I strongly suggest you do!

After all, it’s NoMU – and it doesn’t get much better than that.

CLICK HERE to check out the NoMU website, subscribe to the mailer (click “recipe mailer” at the top) and check out my wine pairings!

Byt the way, three subscribers will win prizes including 2oceansvibe bubbly of choice (Boschendal Grande Cuvee Brut) as well as our favourite wine, De Grendel (the limited edition “Winifred”)!

No I’m not joking. It’s got Lily Allen on the cover and page 78 is all mine! Feel free to tear it out and rub it all over your body. God knows, you won’t be the first.. I’ve been doing it for days!

Besides photos including that now iconic pic of me as a child, the interview also gets in pretty deep with regards to what makes me tick. Randall Abrahams even gets a mention. No spice.

Go get a copy – it looks like this:

The new ELLE Magazine featuring Seth Rotherham on page 78
Comes with a free pair of shades!

I can see what will happen here. Just like they called it a “coincidence” when the YOU Magazine issue I was in became their biggest seller ever (oh, because of the Caster Simenya makeover? Whatever..), the same will happen here and I suppose they’ll attribute it to the free pair of shades that come with the mag. Puh!

Why then did the Top Billing TV show episode with 2oceansvibe experience their highest viewership levels in 3 years?

Seriously, get over yourself. Let’s shift some bloody units!

And we haven’t even got to the Marie Claire Naked Issue, which comes out soon.

That’s right…starkers baby – for you!

The cries from the 2oceansvibers out there who missed the 2oceansvibe feature on SA’s number one TV magazine show, Top Billing, were overwhelming. I knew I had to SOMEHOW get it onto the web for you to see!

Just to run you through the process – I recorded the show on my PVR decoder at The Safe House. So what that does is it stores the show in digital format on the PVR machine – for use at home. There is no facility to transfer this data from the machine to another machine, or computer, or disc or flash drive. Granted, there is a USB port on the decoder – but it doesn’t do anything,

So my friends at iKraal lent me a VIDEO MACHINE. That’s right – an old school style VHS video player/recorder. Awesome! I would hook up the machine between the PVR and the TV and record the show! There was only one problem – I needed a VHS tape..

Not the easiest thing in the world, I’m sure you can imagine. I went to Caldis on Long Street where the staff completely ignored me and managed to muster a mumble confirming that they had no VHS tapes. A very different attitude to when I bought the several plasma screens and DVD players and stereos in the past.

So anyway, should you ever require a VHS tape, I can confirm that Pick n’ Pay at the Waterfront sells them. I got a TDK 180 – quite mean! So I took that home, recorded the show from PVR onto tape and took the tape to iKraal, who have the facilities to transfer that video BACK into digital format! From there I could put it on “le web” – which is what the French call it.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we got to this point!

So sit back, relax and enjoy the 2oceansvibe feature from SABC 3’s Top Billing show, 15 October, 2009. Wait for the box to load under this sentence and press play!

*Slow connections are advised to press pause to let it load up before playing.

I’m fine with that..

Regular readers will know that there has been all sorts of Top Billing activity over the past week or so. Their crew joined us on the day that we shot the 2oceansvibe Show last week with Goldfish, and they filmed some behind-the-scenes stuff for the weekly TV magazine show, Top Billing.

And it’s coming out TOMORROW!

Thursday night, 19h30, SABS 3

We had LOADS of fun shooting the feature and I can’t tell you exactly what happens, but there were some hilarious moments that you’re not going to want to miss! I should take this moment to warn you that my hair is extremely mellow and I use a stunt double in some of the scenes.

No spice.

Check out this teaser that has been playing on TV this week. It gives a little mention to warm you up.

They use a lot of footage from that Goldfish concert next to the pool on the roof of the Cape Royale. The one we had after shooting last week’s Olmeca 2oceansvibe Show.

Were YOU there?

Will YOU be on TV?

God knows – you’ll have to watch and find out!!!

And I see Kevin Pietersen cracked the same show as 2oceansvibe (raises eyebrows). Hah! Nice one. That should “raise his profile” a bit!

Don’t blame me if there is another “coincidence” and this episode does a Caster Semenya YOU magazine record-breaker vibe on us. It’s always possible – especially with you lot 2oceansvibing behind the scenes.

And this time we won’t have to pretend the numbers were due to Caster’s makeover “cover story.”

So I’ll catch you there.

Thursday night. SABC 3. 19h30.

Meantime, check out the Top Billing Website here.

*Thanks to Gabbi, Sunay, Kelly, Julian and Wiimpie at Top Billing for the boom directional mics, 2oceansvibe cocktails, Dreamy Burgers and good times at Caprice..

We are QUITE the authority on a number of things these days, I should tell you. Oh yes, I am now a “branding expert” [makes "inverted commas" signs with fingers above head] of sorts.

It’s true – look!

CLICK HERE for GottaQuirk interview
with Katharina Scholtz

Pretty rad interview I had that day with spunky Kat from Gottaquirk (a division of Rob Stokes’s Quirk Marketing). She did a good job so, if you’re interested in blogging (aah, touch yourself) or the 2oceansvibe brand and the journey so far, check it out here.

See that dead horse lying there?

Ja, watch this.

[grabs whip]

Once again, I’m not claiming this, but I’m just SAYING, that the latest issue YOU Magazine [*cough* of which I am a cover story] is currently featured on CNN (here). This, shortly after being featured in the Daily Mail (here), as well as the BBC (here).

Come on – that’s QUITE mean?

[looks at himself in the mirror]

CLICK HERE for CNN feature

YOU Magazine is, essentially, the most well-known South African magazine in the world at the moment.

Coincidence? I don’t know.

Let’s get a close up of the 2oceansvibe “cover” story:

Bottom left – that’s it, my boet

I’m just SAYING…that IF this becomes a record-breaking seller, I could, IN TIME, claim that I was a “cover story” for that particular big-selling issue.

Pushing it?

I don’t know.

[points, runs]

*CLICK HERE for 2oceansvibe’s “YOU Magazine” article.

[thanks ryan]

Ok, look, I’m probably completely overdoing it I just wanted to show you how big MY issue of the YOU Magazine is going. The likes of the BBC and Daily Mail are writing about it nearly every day. They are very focused on the cover story to do with the make-over given to SA gender-row athlete, Caster Semenya.

That’s pretty big exposure. So all I’m saying is that it’s interesting to note that this happens to be the same issue as the feature they did on me. Coincidence? I don’t think so. I mean, I am also featured on the front cover.

Bottom left. Suck it in.

Read Daily Mail article here

That’s right, baby shoes! If this becomes a record-breaking seller, I could, IN TIME, claim that I was a “cover story” for that particular issue.

Would that be pushing it?

Maybe you might think so. But you know what I think?

[points in the sky over your shoulder]

[you turn to see what seth is pointing at]

[seth runs]

[you turn back and seth is gone]

[there is a note on the ground in the same place he was standing]

[you read the note. all it says is "touch yourself]

*CLICK HERE for 2oceansvibe’s “YOU Magazine” article.
[thanks johnny]

It goes without saying that the 10 September YOU Magazine issue which featured yours truly (on page 130) is causing absolute mayhem overseas. No, no, not because of me, but rather the fact that it features Caster Semenya.

YOU Magazine decided to gave her a make-over, after the controversy surrounding her gender.

This, from the BBC:

South African runner Caster Semenya, whose gender was queried by athletics officials, has defended her looks and taken part in a makeover in a magazine.

Ms Semenya, the 800m world champion, posed for the cover of South Africa’s You magazine.

 

 

“I am who I am and I am proud of myself,” the 18-year-old said.

“I’d like to dress up more often and wear dresses but I never get the chance,” she said as she was photographed in several outfits.

The BBC’s Pumza Fihlani in Johannesburg says the outfits show a softer side of Ms Semenya, who most of the world has seen only in a green-and-gold running outfit and training shoes.

The outfits included black leather trousers with a sequined top, a grey knee-length dress worn with a grey cropped jacket and a black-and-white cocktail dress worn with stilettos.

The controversy over Ms Semenya’s gender has angered many in South Africa, including her family who insist she is female.

And our reporter says her makeover has become a talking point since the magazine hit the shelves on Monday evening.

Listeners have been phoning up radio stations to give their thoughts on “the new and improved” Ms Semenya.

Some felt she should not have been “improved” while others said it was a “great look”.

Ms Semenya, who has said very little about the gender controversy surrounding her, says she is not bothered by the negative publicity following her gold medal at the Berlin World Championships last month.

[read more here]

It’s all HAPPENING!!

Buy the latest issue of YOU Magazine (on shelves now) to check out the pics from her make-over.

And, in the meantime, check out her cover photo HERE!

[thanks paolo]

Well would you believe it, I’m in the latest YOU Magazine! Even more exciting is that I’m in the issue with SA gold medalist, Caster Semenya, on the cover! And they’ve dressed her up all woman-like! Awesome!

The 10 September issue cover
Stunning!

So, for those of you who are yet to find a doctor’s waiting room with the latest issue, here it is.

CLICK HERE for Page 1 CLICK HERE for Page 2

I don’t quite know what to say. I mean, do you think I come across sexy enough? I just wish they had used some of the other shots they took. Like the ones of me doing yoga with my shirt off. Or the ones of me in the shower (yes, obviously from behind).

Those were HOT!!

LA tabloid blogger and the epitome of bad health, Perez Hilton, was caught smelling 2oceansvibe’s jockstrap as one of his cockroaches captured us getting some footage for part 6 (part 2 comes out today) of the 2oceansvibe Pauly Shore Zinzi series, currently being shot in Los Angeles.

Perez “carbs” Hilton shows his uncoolness by not noticing my incredibly awesome Lambda Lambda Lambda T-shirt which I often have to cover up before entering stores because of how it kills.

Shame.

This, spotted on perezhilton dot com:

Click here for original article

Yes, I do recall that little cockroach who took the pic. I remember clearly pulling out the camera to film him as well. Terrible little thing, he was.

Keep watching the 2oceansvibe Pauly Shore Zinzi series, and look out for that exact moment – coming up RIGHT HERE. Part 2 comes out today at 11am.

Nice one, fatty.

Some of you may remember the pics (taken by Max) we posted last month of Matt Damon and Morgan Freeman in character as Francois Pienaar and Nelson Mandela respectively (here).

Did you enjoy the use of the word “respectively” back there? Ja, that’s how I roll.

Well anyway, given Damon’s New England heritage, Meredith at The Boston Globe took a liking to the pics and got in touch. Next thing we were talking talking about Matt Damon and how he enjoys Jack Black Beer! All of which made it to the final article – online and in print!

Check it out:

As you can see, Matt Damon has gone bleach blond to play rugby star Francois Pienaar (see below), the guy responsible for helping South Africa win the rugby World Cup in 1995.

 

 

The photo above was recently taken on the set of “Invictus,’’ Clint Eastwood’s film about the Cup, in which Morgan Freeman will play Nelson Mandela. According to Seth Rotherham, who originally posted this picture on his popular South African blog, Damon is well liked around Cape Town. “Friends of mine involved in the movie say Matt is a complete gentleman and has won over everyone,’’ Rotherham told us.

The blog writer added that Damon has developed a love for a South African brew called Jack Black Beer. He must not be able to find Sam Adams or Harpoon down there.

[source]

I had an interview the other day with the cool cats at TechSmart.co.za. I thought it went very well.

Here’s a little tid bit:

Six awards including blog of the year, best original writing and most humorous. Did this come as a surprise?

With six nominations, I certainly was hoping to get at least one or two. But six? And the best overall? No – I simply refused to think that far. I lived with professional rugby players for a few years in my early 20’s and talking about winning before a match was taboo in our house. “Jinxing” the match and all that, is an absolute no-no!

When did you start blogging and why?

About seven years ago, before blogs were really blogs. I just made a website to showcase photos of parties that my friends and I had been to the previous weekend. Just for everyone to see. In the days when my buddies had internet access, but no email. Then I started commenting on the pics and writing little stories to fill the spaces. Strangers told me they enjoyed it which was weird – but appealing. They found it funny and urged me to keep writing. I enjoyed writing (and still do) so I continued!

What inspires you to blog everyday?

Just everything I do and see and think. Like any discussion you would have with a friend in a bar or a braai or a restaurant – exactly the same thing, except I type it for everyone else to see as well. Whatever I’m talking about, I’m writing about.

CLICK HERE for the rest of le interview.

Thanks for the good times, guys.

And the great jokes.

Last week I gave you the first part (here) of my interview I did with the From the Couch boys in Hout Bay.

Loads of fun.

Here is the second part:

You enjoy that Baby float joke at the end?

Ja, thought you might. I was thinking about making you smile at the time.

I got the joke from Dan Nicholl. Which he probably got from me in another life.