Don’t say I don’t tell you how and when to be at the right place at the right time.

I was contacted by the owner of an online company called luxury4less who have launched a very exclusive website offering a vast range of premium brands and designer products at massively reduced prices. But it’s not what you think – give this a moment..

This is a genuinely clever concept that I’ve seen overseas and, in particular, the U.K. where I know of a few friends who indulge. You see they have limited quantity of each product, which allows them to achieve massive discounts.

They’re pretty up front with how the whole things works. You’ll get the idea once you’ve read this:

Firstly, all our products are genuine, the real stuff, guarantees and warranties are provided, where applicable, and we also guarantee a 100% return policy (T&C apply) in case we deliver the wrong item. Discounts are negotiated with our suppliers, and offered to our members since the products offered in our campaigns might be off-season (or close to off-season) products, overstock, slow moving items, or, a new product the supplier would like to test in the South African market as part of a promotion.

Fair enough. Nice vibe. I gave it a bash today and I’m happy to say the system works perfectly. I used my login (after receiving approval) and, with the dwindling supply of smellies at home, I checked out the fragrances.

Case in point, The Hugo Boss Energise fragrance that I was perving at the airport on my way back From L.A. in July.

Due to the massiveness of the price reduction (40% off), there were only 3 in stock and the countdown clock (yes, there is a countdown clock) had 14 days to go. The price was set at R399 (rather than R660) and I’d be damned if I’d let this puppy slip through my fingers! I mean, seriously – R399? Those of you who buy premium fragrances will know that deals on fragrances should not be ignored. There is one rule – just get it – quickly – before it disappears.

So ja, that’s that – I bought mine and it’s on it’s way. But don’t panic – once those are gone, there are some others to go for – not that I can put my cock on a block that they will still be there when you get there!

Enjoy this screenshot, featuring everything from Lacoste and Joop! to Moschino and Happy Fizz:

And those aren’t all of them!

What’s more, fragrances are just ONE of the product lines they have. Don’t even get me started on the sunglasses, gym equipment, holiday packages, bags, plasmas and more.

Seriously – everything is RADICALLY discounted – you’d be silly not to have a squizz.

I explained to the owner of the website that 2oceansvibers should be allowed membership and shouldn’t have to go through a screening process – so he agreed and gave me a special 2oceansvibe promotional code for you guys to give you immediate access!

So go to the website HERE and put in your details, followed by this promotional code 2oceans@luxury4less.co.za

Go on, give it a little click – they will have something you want and it will cost next to nothing – www.luxury4less.co.za

I am overly impressed with the vibe being thrown by the new Cape Quarter, in the de Waterkant neighborhood of Green Point. Do yourself a favour and do a little fly-by along Somerset Road, opposite the BP (who are upgrading their shop to include some new kind of Pick ‘n Pay express vibe – much needed).

The all new Cape Quarter “Extension”
Generally quite stunning..

Dubbed, the “Cape Quarter ‘Extension,’” this is what their website tells us:

Cape Quarter ‘Extension’

The Cape Quarter ‘Extension’ is now open.

In keeping with the lifestyle theme, Cape Quarter ‘Extension’ enhances the village environment. Patrons can enjoy the convenience and security of this self-contained lifestyle building, with Jarvis Street serving as the link between the current Cape Quarter and the ‘Extension’.
Upmarket boutique stores focused on décor, design, furniture, fashion, food, and entertainment makes this destination one of a kind.

[check out their website here]

I think a little round of applause is in order?
Well done, guys, looks good so far.
Let’s just hope the service compliments the facade of the building.

I’ve never really had more than five positive visits in a row to the Camps Bay “Friendly” store and am surprised that I still visit the place, let alone get worked up about the shoddy service, stock take and queue times. If anything, they get an “A” for consistency.

Last Sunday was no different.

The Camps Bay Friendly Store

The Muse and I felt the urge for a fizzy drink and I drove down from The Safe House to buy a Coke and a Stoney. I side-swiped the bottled foods isle to see if they had re-stocked the Carmel Strong Dill gherkins which haven’t been there for nearly a week (since I tweeted about it a month ago on September 9). Obviously they weren’t there.

Why would we keep stock of something
that keeps selling out?

They were also out of stock of the other products I look for every time I visit. Products that a lot of people like and products which are only there once in a blue moon, before they get sold out again. Notables include Carmel Strong Dill Gherkins, Judy’s Pickled Onions (strong) and Goldcrest Jalapenos. What does that tell you, guys? Maybe people like these products? Maybe you should order more? Does that not make sense?

It is interesting to note that these are the very same products I chatted about a YEAR ago – an article I wrote highlighting the fact that the Friendly store was out of popular products (as well as can openers), but were sure to have stock of home TIK testing packs.

Sunday had an extra twist, however, as I gave the lady at the till R50 to pay for four cans of cooldrink (total price around R25). She asked if I had anything smaller. I said no and she told me I had to wait for someone to bring change from “the back.” She gave me the R5 coin part of the change and then said I had to wait for the final R20.

There was another man waiting in front of me for change from a previous transaction. A classic “fuckshow” was developing before my very eyes.

Surely this wasn’t happening? I gave her a R50 note, not a R200 note! How could they not have R20 change?? It was a Sunday. I had ventured out of The Safe House cocoon, driven 5km, JUST to buy a cooldrink – and now I was stuck at the fucking till.

On a SUNDAY! Are you kidding me?

I waited for what seemed like an eternity, as everyone just stared ahead of them, blankly. I didn’t want to cause a scene and said, “look, I’m a regular customer, you’ve seen me here before, how about you just make a note that you owe me R20?”

“I can’t do that,” she said.

“Why,” I asked.

“Because maybe I won’t be here when you are here again.”

“Oh, God,” I sighed, “then stick the note on the wall, I don’t care, but this is ridiculous, I would rather get the money another time than spend my Sunday in a queue.”

She looked at me with a face that says, you’re a clever dick, aren’t you?

“Can you make a little note please – I’m dying here. I just want to drink my Stoney at home,” I pleaded.

And that’s when it happened.. She gave a MASSIVE huff and a puff and banged on the till, releasing the change drawer.

She flicked up those metal things that hold down the money, pulled out two R10 notes and slammed them on the counter, PISSED OFF.

I was speechless. “You had that there the whole time?” I asked. I didn’t wait for an answer and walked out. Upon exiting, I sideswiped the neverending management meeting that takes place in the “dining” area of the shop, very near the entrance and the tills. Naturally the team at the table were blissfully unaware of the pain their customers were going through a mere 10 meters away from them.

I gave my story, but don’t know why I did – it’s never helped anything before, why would it now? And no, he didn’t apologise.

Stunning vibe. A year down the road – still no change (scuze the pun).

Keep it up, guys.

CLICK HERE to follow 2oceansvibe on Twitterand enjoy some behind-the-scenes Seth action.

I’m really so impressed with the support shown for this campaign. It’s such a brilliant concept, which let’s you the public donate your old jeans to those who need them – in return for Levi’s shopping vouchers.

Genius!

So there was a live 5FM broadcast at UCT last Friday, which added another 405 pairs of jeans to the Get Rid Of Your Jeans For Good cause! Bringing the total to 5,266 pairs of jeans!!

Not shy!

Aah, the students!

Get into those pants, baby!

The 5FM team, live on air!

Well done, UCT! You’ve made us proud! And to attend lectures for the rest of the day in your jocks is a very noble undertaking!

Let’s keep it up guys and gals – the competition is still running and remember, Levi’s will pay you up to R200 for your old pair of jeans. AND you’re helping charity!!

Wallet gets looked after, as well as your karma..

It’s too easy!

Go! Go! Go!

You have spoken, and we have responded. Finally you are able to order De Grendel wine, Jack Black beer and Pussy Natural Energy drink online AND have it delivered to your door!

I swear it. Our boys at Diletto have done the right thing and added the drinks to their online gourmet food and beverage emporium!

www.diletto.co.za

So they’re rocking with the De Grendel whites (here), reds (here), as well as our favourite, the Rosé (here). You can order that by the case, and at around R40 a bottle you’ll be laughing!

De Grendel Rosé

The Rosé is also finally available at Caprice, by the way. I’d order it if I were you. It tastes great and you will look cool too.

Back to Diletto. They’re also offering Jack Black beer (here) by the 6-pack. Personally, I’d order a case at a time – because then you can get it delivered in one of their awesome black boxes.

So crisp. So clean.

Awesomeness

And no online gourmet food and beverage emporium would be complete without the 2oceansvibe energy drink of choice which is taking Cape Town by storm, Pussy Natural Energy drink (here).

Natural Energy
Radness

Your can order those puppies by the 8-pack or you can be true to yourself and do like I do – order a case of 24! They go faster than you think. Also don’t be shy to knock one back in the morning if you’re feeling sluggish. It’s FAR more easy on the palate than some of the other energy drinks out there, which can be quite ghastly in the morning!

Well done Diletto, and well done to YOU, the 2oceansvibe reader, for finally getting what you wanted!

This is a photograph of the one jeans section of my cupboard.

A wide array of jean pant

I think you will agree that it is a tad excessive. And that’s only some of them, which is half of what it was about a month ago. I give the odd pair to Mavis, you see (which she probably flogs to further afford her fast-paced jet-set lifestyle), but I’m still left with these reams of denim.

What am I going to do?!! [places back of hand to forehead - nearly passes out]

Well it’s not going to be a problem anymore – Levi Struass have just launched a new campaign which suits me to a tee! Quite simply, they’re going to BUY MY JEANS!!! For up to R200 a pair, to be exact! AND, what’s more, they’ll improve your karma by donating those very jeans to disadvantaged communities!

My goodness, it’s like you’re cheating – but you’re not!

See what they did there?
Get RID of your jeans, for GOOD!
Get it?

Oh, none of your old jeans are made by Levi’s? Hey, no problem my angel – they’ll take ANY brand of jean pant!!! Ja, you heard me. ANY brand! After all, charity shouldn’t discriminate.

Why are people paying us for our old jeans and then donating them to disadvantaged communities? Well, let’s be honest, it’s not for us to worry about. Levi’s are doing the right thing and everyone’s a winner.

2oceansvibe supports this vibe 100% – so get on over to your nearest Levi’s store and drop off your jeans.

Tell you what, if you go and donate your jeans (which they will pay you for) and send in a pic of you in your underwear in the Levi store, we’ll publish the pic right here on 2oceansvibe!

Send to editor@2oceansvibe.com

Deal?

Deal!

CLICK HERE for more info on the promotion, including Frequently Asked Questions.

The Spar on Kloof, which is famous for its loose Russians (here) is now diversifying even further into the realm of hilariousness with their latest product line – Ass Rolls..

(Thanks Delamaine)

Very interesting vibe they’re going for there. It’s ironic that corbohydrates are usually blamed for the extra weight people put on in areas including the buttocks. Spar obviously feel that we should be embracing this. They should bring out some new ones, like “Cellulite Chocolate” and “Pimple Sweets.”

Then we move on to this wonderful male chicken flavoured soup, spotted by an ex-pat reader in the UK. Amazing vibe.

(Thanks Rupert)

Good. Good. And then here we see the same male chicken mentioned again. Although there is no picture of him this time. It seems to have something to do with a Seeman called Frank? And it’s cheesy..

(Thanks Simon)

Whilst I’m sure they didn’t mean these things to come out the way they did, one has to wonder – did NO-ONE pick it up?

Very odd.

HEY! Just a quick heads up about one of 2oceansvibe’s sponsors, Lizzard Surfwear’s insane special running this week!

LESS 50% on all Lizzard and Lizzy clothing, fashion bags and surf backpacks!

That’s right – that means HALF PRICE!!!!

50% OFF ALL LIZZARD AND LIZZY CLOTHING
+ SELECTED ACCESORIES!!

Lizzard Cavendish (Cape Town) – 021 683 3335
Lizzard Fountains (J-Bay) – 042 293 0001
Lizzy Greenstone (JHB) – 011 452 6567
Lizzard Gateway (Durban) – 031 566 5522
Lizzard Westwood (Durban) – 031 266 6808

Doubt you’ll find a better deal than this at the moment on winter surf clothing and products.

Ooh, I do like that fluffy guy on the right!

For more stores check www.lizzardsurf.net

Nice to see Woolworths aren’t scared to sex it up a little bit when the moment takes it. This video must have given the Woolworth’s ultra-conservatives a heart attack!

Two things to be aware of – the track in the background is Fort Knox by Goldfish (my personal fave tune of theirs) and the main model featured in the vid is none other than 2oceansviber and previous 2oceansvibe Weather Girl, Gabriella Demetriades.

Check it out:

Wow – there is so much “SYNERGY” between Woolworths and 2oceansvibe. They’re using models and bands that are all a part of the vibe!

Well done, guys!

It was too easy yesterday. I popped into Vida e on Kloof Road and then waltzed over to Mabu Vinyl, just opposite (in the road leading into the Vida entrance – Rheede Street) to pick up some records.

I called the owner, Sugar, from the South of France on the day that Michael Jackson died. I asked him to keep all the Michael Jackson vinyl for me and I would pick it up upon my return.

Which I duly did yesterday.

The one record was Victory, by the Jackson 5. The first track is State of Shock which they recorded with Mick Jagger. My God, what an awesome tune! I very nearly forgot about this one.

Jeez it’s awesome!

“State of Shock ” is a 1984 hit single by The Jacksons featuring frontman Michael Jackson and Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger.

“State of Shock ” was the biggest hit from The Jacksons’ Victory album, reaching number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and number 4 on the Billboard R&B Singles chart. The song is written by Jackson and guitarist Randy Hansen.

The final version featured lead vocals by Michael Jackson and Jagger. “State of Shock” was the last top ten hit for The Jacksons, as well as their last single to be certified gold. The song was later revised by Jagger when he performed it with Tina Turner during their legendary 1985 performance at Live Aid.

What a vibe! With Jagger – going for it!!

Don’t miss out on MABU VINYL’S HALF PRICE SALE going on now. It won’t be going for very long so get your asses down there!

Mabu Vinyl HALF PRICE SALE
Website here

You do have a vinyl player, right?

Sort that out, if you haven’t yet.

Nick Goldblatt is due one, I’m sure..

I cruised into Woolies on Saturday with The Photographer (who just won a bronze lion at Cannes for this, I might add) and spotted something I had never seen before.

“Suck me sideways!!” I yelled, “look at THIS!!”

Woolworths have now erected a “complementary sanitising wipes” station next to the trolleys. It dispenses wet-wipes for you to wipe the trolley handle with. Something Howard Hughes would be very pleased about.

We were at the Sea Point Woolworths and it came as no surprise that an elderly Jewish woman in her mid-90’s with blue hair and a Yorkie tottered up and actually used the towels to wipe the trolley handle.

Excellent!

“You can’t be too careful these days, Ruth!”

“Oh, I know, Agatha – what with swine flu and all!!”

Seth wipes his precious hands..
[please excuse my state - I had just landed that morning!]

It would have been better if they had spelt it “complimentary,” which refers to something being free, which is what I assume they meant? And I think it would be naughty to argue they meant it in terms of the wipes complementing the trolleys.

Let’s have a quick run through.

Click these guys to find out more.

Complimentary

vs

Complementary

Got it?

Here ends today’s lesson.

Do you remember the other day I featured (here ) that picture painted on a wall in Cape Town of the “Simunyes?” You know, the African style ripoff of The Simpsons?

Let’s get a quick recap of that.

The eSimpowenis

Well, either way, I got an email from Eric at Springleap who told me the image was actually called “The eSimpowenis ” and was the winning design from their August 2008 competition on springleap.com (they run a design competition every 2 weeks, and the winning voted t-shirt is sold online and in stores).

Anyway, he directed to their website and I bought the T-shirt!!

Check, check, check it out!

My new T-shirt!
CLICK HERE TO GO TO IT ON THE WEBSITE

I know! Pretty cool hey?

I’ve subsequently been chatting to the owner and he agreed to a special little deal just for YOU. Quite simply, all 2oceansvibe readers will get R50 off their first purchase at Springleap.com.

All you have to do is use the coupon code “ThanksSeth” (case sensitive) when you buy your T-Shirt (any T-shirt) from their website.

Click here to go to their website.

Click here to go straight to the eSimpowenis T-shirt page.

Got it?

Good.

Enjoy it.

This was taken in the last week when the Green Point McDonald’s was closed, EXCEPT for their drive thru service.

Please enjoy this guy standing in between two cars, waiting for his order..

Man pretends to be car

Whaaaahaha!

Is it just me? Or do you also find that terribly amusing?

Shame – engines running all around him. Petrol fumes.

Bored.

Do you think he gave a little, “beep beep” when he arrived at the window? Or pretended to wind down a window?

[thanks werno]

With Alec Baldwin’s recent faux pas regarding Filipino brides (here) you would think the Spar on Kloof Street would be more subtle?

Naughty

R9.12 for some loose Russians!? My goodness, it’s a steal!

[thanks si]

Again the power of the 2oceansvibe community is on display as we receive no less than THREE separate emails with photographs of the same sign displayed on a shop window in Cape Town’s Blue Routemall.

Behold:

Spotted on window of a men’s manicure parlour.
Blue Route Mall, Cape Town.

Look, it’s a bloody nice gesture, but it’s probably not gonna fly. I’m just not sure if your mom would be very impressed if she saw that you had bought your dad a “handjob” for Father’s Day.

Thanks for that, 2oceansvibers!

While we’re at it, are YOU a 2oceansviber? Have YOU subscribed to the vibe? Did YOU receive yesterday’s awesome newsletter with behind the scenes action including Seth’s current Strengthening Ties Tour?

Not?

Pfffffft! [tries to contain laughter]

Well best you get moving, my love! CLICK HERE to SUBSCRIBE TO THE VIBE.

And then, when you’ve managed that, CLICK HERE to follow 2oceansvibe on Twitter and get a constant hit of live action (only available on Twitter) from wherever Seth is (currently The South of France).

[thanks brad, dan and nic]

I see the British Lions went for a little shop around Cape Town’s V&A Waterfront yesterday and popped into the legendary Pumastore.

Martyn Williams and Gordon D’Arcy
Not shy to get their kit off.

Stephen Ferries shows David Wallace
his show levitation trick

Simon Shaw admits that the length of one’s foot
DOES mean something

David Wallace chooses Puma over Adidas..

Very cool.

Can’t wait to get back into that shop when I get back to town..

I bought this little Betty Boop figurine/doll type vibe in London.

Is that ok?

Betty Boop
Smoking hot..

Cost me 40 quid, that did; and I can’t say for sure WHY I bought it. It just sucked me in, tractor-beam, wrrrrrrrr.

I had just finished off a couple pints with The Inside Centre and was cruising down the high street and Betty Boop was basically PRESSING her body against the (dare I say) “bric-a-brac” shop window. She was openly flirting with me from inside the shop. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but her mouth seemed to be saying, “Don’t you want a piece of this?”

I walked out with her, arm in arm, less than ten minutes later.

[New readers should note that I'm an only child and was raised in a home with 1,000 antique porcelain dolls and a pack of a Yorkshire Terriers. And if that wasn't enough I had a computer from age 6 to keep me company.]

We end off with a showcase of Betty Boop’s more risqué appearances!

Naughty, Betty!

Click here for some little known facts about Betty Boop.

Click here for the official Betty Boop website.