Woolworths hasn’t exactly been forthright in answering the accusations put to it, and offered the following on its Facebook page yesterday:

A number of you have asked us about the allegations made by Frankie’s Soft Drinks against Woolies.

We have not infringed any intellectual property or trademark. Retro is not a new concept. It has been a trend locally and internationally in clothing, food and packaging for some time. We have used vintage design for many years in products ranging from blouses to fudge and drinks. Flavours such as cream soda, ginger beer and cola have been widely used internationally for decades.

We thank you all for your comments. All customer feedback on this issue will be taken very seriously.

As one analyst, Jeremy Sampson, chief executive of Interbrand Sampson, said yesterday evening the longer Woolies takes to say something conclusive on the matter, the more damage is being done to the brand.

Don Todd has today discussed how he is in a similar situation to that of the family-run business, Frankie’s Olde Soft Drink Company, which is at the centre of the counterfeiting allegations.

Todd developed braai tongs with an LED light and said his lawyers are currently engaged with Woolworths on the issue:

About a month ago, it came to my attention that a couple of Woolies were selling them online and I contacted their buyer but had no joy with getting any result.

I explained to them that I had the patent and design registration on the tongs.

The retail giant has said it will only speak publicly on the issue on the Money Show, which airs on Radio 702 Talk Radio on Wednesday evening, thereby giving themselves enough time to think the matter through, one would assume.

[Source: EWN]

HEMA, a Dutch department store has cast a man in its new lingerie campaign. They claim that their latest push-up bra will give females “two extra cups”. And they seem to be telling the truth, as pictures reveal his “no-cup” chest appears to have been augmented up to a B-cup.

If, like me, you are wondering where the man in these adverts are then don’t feel alone. The model, Andrej Pejic, is rather famous for his hot female-like appearance. He has walked the catwalk in both Jean Paul Gaultier womenswear as well as in Marc Jacobs menswear.

[Source: Daily Mail]

Diane Taylor is a 92 year-old great-grandmother from the UK. Like any other woman of her age and stature, she went down to her local convenience store to buy a bottle of whisky. The shop however refused to sell her any alcohol because she had no ID with her to prove that she is over 18.

Diane says she was on her way home from a check-up with her doctor when she went to buy a bottle of whisky “for her son.” She says she asked the girl behind the counter to repeat herself three times. “I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing, I thought it was a joke. I ended up storming out in indignation.  It is just ridiculous to ask someone of my age to prove they are an adult, I find it offensive.”

A spokesman for the store had to enforce a strict “no ID, no sale” policy or risk losing their licence. He also added that they were “very sorry”.

[Source: Daily Mail]

According to FeministsSA’s website, these shirts are “women-hating, reckless and, tasteless.” It is also “offensive, inappropriate and simply stupid.”

The T-shirts were being sold at Markhams and Sports Scene shops. According to The Foschini Group’s communications manager Kathryn Sakalis, they were meant to be tongue-in-cheek.

[Source: News24]

Barney’s in New York has announced that this year’s festive spectacular will feature a month-long holiday installation from the Empress of Weird, Lady Gaga.

Barney’s is a venerable downtown Manhattan department store world-famous for its festive decorations and store layouts around the holiday season. Barney’s basically perfected the Christmas Window – think Woolworths annual art-deco, tinsel, fishing line and bauble monstrosity times one thousand, and actually nice to look at.

This year, Barney’s is going in a… new direction. Gaga’s Workshop will feature designs from Mama Monster herself, along with a host of objects and accessories for sale created by designers such as Thierry Mugler and Nicola Formichetti. Unknown is whether Mama will be allowing her little monsters to sit on her lap and whisper their dearest Christmas wishes into her bedazzled ear, before one of her elves (dressed in red chantilly lace) leads them away and gives them a complimentary meat bracelet.

If you want to visit this nightmare before Christmas, but can’t shell out for a ticket to the Big Apple, the entire installation will have a digital outlet on the Barney’s website, so head there around November if you’re after some early Christmas fear.

Until then, here’s the brand-spanking-new Gaga video for ‘You and I’ off her Born This Way album- oh, and by “you and I” she means herself and herself. There’s making out. Might be a little NSFW. Call it an early Christmas present.

[Source:  PR Newswire]

Being a paying customer is not as safe as you might think – especially if you aren’t “authorized” to enter a place where you wish to spend your money. Take Cash Converters in Balfour Park, Joburg, as an example. They’ve had so many unauthorized customers in their shop that they’ve now had to invest in some toxic gas, capable of “immobilizing humans.” You’ve been warned.

[Thanks Mitchell!]

Note, this image was not taken inside a security ‘hokkie.’ That is, in fact, a display unit for sale in the store.

[thanks beau]

Hey guys! Whatsup?

How cool are those two guys right there? Such a refreshing change from those Ralph Lauren Polo shirts rolling around town. You know, the ones with the oversized embroided pony and rider – generally worn by freaks. The cool thing about these shirts is you cruise-in and, seeing you from far, people have already started to judge you. They’re going like, “Oh God, look at this prick with his oversized-logo Polo golf shirt.” But then you get closer and, as they notice that it is not an embroided pony, but rather a warrior, their feelings of hatred for you immediately switch to that of jealousy – a wonderful vibe to witness. It is at that EXACT moment that you turn unto them, look them directly in the eyes and say, “hey!” It is at that point that they collapse and wade around in the ocean of cool you have just unleashed. I did that the other day on my way to the counter at vida e in Green Point. And if you thought that was enough, you should have seen the reception I got at the counter? The vida e staff basically lost their minds – I got high fives all round. I felt truly accepted by them – all thanks to my new TRMNL golf shirt. Elias, I should add, was particularly impressed.

Merchants On Long – quietly stocking TRMNL Clothing

So do yourself a favour and pop in at 2oceansvibe’s favourite store on Long Street, Merchants On Long – and check out the range of TRMNL gear – they’ve got the caps and T-shirts as well!

Seriously, that’s quite a cool vibe..

Not that the range of TRMNL stuff should be anyone’s main reason for going to Merchants on Long! Just being there is a treat in itself. I often just hang out there amongst the ferns, quietly enjoying the fashion, art and homeware sourced from around the continent.

Not that their website is any different – have a squizz right now at MerchantsOnLong.com – some say it’s magical..

While we’re on the subject, and if it’s general boning you’re after, YuppieChef are all over it.

CLICK HERE to check out their range of boning knives.

The pioneering company didn’t stop there. On the package they instruct users to “lie back and think of England” and adds: “Like a Royal Wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion.”

Unforgettable indeed. Especially when it’s like Wills and Kate are right there with you.

[Source: Orange News]

A far cry from previous encounters..

And for those of you who aren’t aware of the Robertsons Salt & Vinegar seasoning, this is the one you need. Personally I put on just enough to make me cough when I inhale the air above the popcorn. Only then is there enough.

Get it.

In the gulag that Seth has us working in, we have a beating chamber. It’s the one small mercy of my life at 2oceansvibe. When I’m relieved of my duties as a human coffee table (after meetings), I go back to the beating chamber, where I get to break microwaves, furniture and sunglasses from rival brands – with a diamond-encrusted hammer.

Seth is such a kind master. He understands that sometimes you need to blow off steam.

Anyway, Seth evidently told the Dear Leader about it at their Sunday Brunch, and he obviously blabbed to Hu Jintao, as he’s prone to do. And all of a sudden Beating Chambers have been syndicated in malls across China, except they’re for women only, and you have to spend a minimum of 38 yuan (about R35) at the mall to gain free entry.

The venting store located in the fourth floor of a shopping mall has a sign “No Men” at the door.

The store is divided into several zones such as a living room and a bedroom. Wang Jingyu, the business manager of the shopping mall said they would like to open a kitchen-like zone later, and they have done this so “women can come here to feel like they are in their own homes but without any limitations, and they can break anything here.”

According to Wang, all the facilities in the store are real, such as second-hand mobile phones and second-hand television sets they purchased from 30 yuan to 100 yuan each. In addition, customers can tear paper, throw plates and beat big beanbags in the corners to vent their frustrations.

I guess it’s for women only coz men pretty much have the rest of the planet to do this kind of thing in. And with bigger toys.

Much, much bigger toys. I want a diamond-encrusted warhead.

[Source : People's Daily Mail]

Yes, ladies and gents, we’re talking about free Wi-Fi.

We recently ran a story on Skyrove’s offering of free Wi-Fi in Green Market Square, Cape Town. Things have developed ever so slightly.

A rival company, HipZone (of Vida e Wi-Fi fame) has gone and thrown down the broadband gauntlet by hooking up visitors to the V&A Waterfront with 25MB free Wi-Fi internet access per day.

The service will be available from early June (we’re assuming that means “now”) and will continue into the foreseeable future.

Hopefully we’ll see a little tit-for-tat in the coming months in the public spaces Wi-Fi game.

Anyone feel like offering 30MBs?

[source : SA Good News]

2oceansvibe Radio will be broadcasting purely internet radio, live and around-the-clock, from retail space within the Cape Quarter – allowing the general public to watch and interact with the radio hosts and celebrity guests.

Watch that space!

As suggested in a recent BizCommunity article, 2oceansvibe Radio will be taking it’s current broadcasting activities to the next level, as the demand for this type of format is nothing short of overwhelming, with listeners tuning in at work, home and even in their cars. More on that here.

The decision for 2oceansvibe Radio to move into the Cape Quarter was an easy one. The flirting began nearly a year ago (here) and, with the centre’s exclusive upmarket vibe and location, the fit was too perfect to ignore!

Stay tuned for official launch date..

In the meantime, as we prepare, be sure to catch us every Friday at www.2oceansviberadio.com live from 08h00 to 10h00. Click here to find out about how to listen in your car.

This obviously has a lot to do with the fact that the article comes in Google’s Top 5 for the search phrases, “cape town istore,” “cape town apple mac,” and “waterfront istore” (among others). As a result, 3,880 people have found the article in Google search results – without going through 2oceansvibe. ie. they went directly to the article from Google.

No apologies..

Because of this very high ranking for such broad search phrases, the comments section never really dies, and has so far received  153 comments! Wowsers – that’s a lot of interactivity and a helluva a long time and excessively high stats and figures, for a company to not respond. No, they never did. Nor did they attend to the copious amounts of people moaning in the comments section – the perfect forum to fix problems and tend to customer complaints.

Surely that must be some kind of record? You know, in terms of companies that don’t give a toss?

Be sure to check some of the most recent comments, including the one about their employees advising customers to rather buy their equipment at the shop next door.

Stunning – absolutely stunning!

Here’s to the next 12 months!

See you at Digicape.

Please appreciate “Hide-a-beer” :

Drink beer without fear of being arrested

It’s a pack of stickers displaying tame cool-drink looking brands, which you stick on your beer can to avoid detection. It wraps around perfectly!

How stunning is that?

“Diet Wow” is just one brand they used – wait until you see the others!

With ass cupcakes going big in Hermanus and Woolies preferring ass flavoured quiche (lest we forget Spar‘s genius “ass rolls” offering, it was only a matter of time before ass flavoured muffins hit the shelves. So hats off to Pick ‘n Pay for spotting the gap in the market, and taking it.

Well done, guys. Absolute master stroke!

Check out the other stories and examples of how ass flavoured foods are taking over South Africa here!

[thanks luca, chris]

That was until I drove out of the Cavendish Square car park.

I joined the spiral exit on the one end of the car park, after waiting for a gap to enter the stream. The car that was coming down from above had more than enough room but decided to accelerate, once I had started to join the flow. Oh dear, one of those..

Needless to say the hooter began blaring behind me and this “woman” starting screaming like a Goddamn banshee. This terribly un-ladylike behaviour, combined with her general pronunciation and accent, led me to believe that she was not of royal descent.

Rather, I would tend to suggest that she was a tad unrefined – possibly coming down from a hangover.

After the video I drove at 3km/h down about 5 levels. Even though my window was shut, she carried on like a bloody fish wife the WHOLE way! Terribly amusing.

But not nearly as amusing as the fact that the one line she kept on repeating over and over again was, “Look at YOU, Driving MOMMY’S CAR!!”

Given that I have entered my thirties and happen to own the Mercedes Benz I was driving, it is somewhat ironic that she was giving me a double-compliment. Not only do I look young enough to be a student, but my car seems to be quite impressive as well.

Thanks!

Not this lot, who launched into a seemingly impromptu musical in the fruit isle of an American grocery store.

You’ll enjoy this.

I dare you to rock that vibe at the Kloof Woolies..

[thanks paul]

I gotta be honest, it doesn’t get much easier to find deals around Cape Town. My boys at www.nobucks.co.za have absolutely NAILED IT with their website which documents where and when various booze and food specials are going on around Cape Town. I simply clicked today’s date and it gave me a list of various promotions running at different establishments around the Mother City.

These are tough times, my friends – don’t be shy to box smart..

www.nobucks.co.za

Go to www.nobucks.co.za and click the calendar and scroll through the list. It really is disgusting how easy they’ve made it! Something inside me tells me that it shouldn’t be this easy.

But we’ll just ignore that vibe.

You’ll see the 2oceansvibe logo while you’re there. That’s because the service they are providing encourages the art of “Living The Holiday.”

Get in there.

Enjoy it.

Louis Vuitton have announced the launch of a new women’s gifts catalogue with a romantic twist – just in time for Valentine’s Day! The timing couldn’t be better – I mean it’s one thing knowing where you will be spending Valentine’s Day, but what does one buy? Now that’s a different story!

Check it out out out:

“The Louis Vuitton Valentines 2010 Catalog for men and women includes the ultimate and elegantly unique gift ideas to celebrate any relationship on almost every budget.”

Now you’re speaking my language!

Come on, girls – let’s have a little squizz, shall we? Let’s covet these objects together:

I know! How divine?!

It’s been a while since I popped into the Cape Town Louis Vuitton store on the V&A Waterfront‘s Death Row.

Can’t wait!

[source:bornrich]

I’ve sent you to the People of Walmart website before (boom). But now they’ve taken the best of the best from that website and turned it into a rap song. And it’s good. Trust me, I know what I’m doing. This is A-grade stuff which I consider my own private stash.

Ja, you get me.

Last guy I let use it died.

THAT’S how good it is. And I want you to try it.

It’s too funny.

I’ll pay a grand to have that on repeat in the back of my mind for the rest of time.

[thanks greg]

With Christmas around the corner, I can’t not tell you about deals on luxury goods – I mean, for God’s sake – that’s how you roll, right?

They’ve been pretty clever with their website. Check it out..

Luxury4Less gets into the Christmas spirit with smoking hot babe

Besides giving us the sexiest Santa I’ve yet to see, they gone and created two easy “must have” lists – Top 10 Gifts For Him and Top 10 Gifts For Her.

Some of my favourites from the guy’s gifts:

3pc Shave Set
Because you’re posh..

Up until now, you probably had no idea
that you could own your very own Beer Dispenser!

The much desired “presto” machine
Find your inner barista!

The “Biltong King” biltong maker
Are you man enough?

Pretty cool, right?

There’s tons more other stuff, so get in there and check it out.

Whoops! I nearly forgot about the angels! Well, besides kitchenware including the Tempo Supreme Slow Cooker and Givenchy fragrances, they’ve got these 9kt gold handmade trilogy style pierced drop earrings..

9kt gold with 30% discount..

They’re enjoying close to 30% discount and there is only one pair left (at the time of this article going out). Hmmm, who’s gonna be the lucky angel..

Good luck, baby shoes!

Remember that they offer select membership, but have arranged a special system for 2oceansvibers.

All you have to do is go to the website HERE and put in your details, followed by this promotional code 2oceans@luxury4less.co.za

I’m not sure if they realised that Wednesday was a public holiday… Naturally, I’ll be taking things to the next level..

Haaaah! Did you see that? They used words like “free reign” and “do whatever you want!!” I mean, really, it’s in black & white, right?

Yes, it is.

That’s why I made some calls and am turning this into a very brief, very exclusive 2oceansvibe party for YOU. I’ve arrange a DJ (DJ Sox, no less) with high-powered sound and apart from this 45% discount on ALL Puma gear, there will also be FREE Jack Black Beer, FREE De Grendel wine, FREE Pussy Natural Energy Drink and, while we’re at it, I got the geniuses at Thirst Bar Services to pull round and fill in the gaps with cocktails and other beautiful concoctions!!

With South Africa’s most exclusive mobile bar service, Thirst, 2oceansvibe’s top beverage brands, our favourite DJ, and virtually half price off all PUMA gear, I couldn’t think of a better way to welcome the Wednesday public holiday! (Let alone Christmas!)

Can you?

No, you can’t.

Make sure you get there!

HOW DO YOU WIN ACCESS TO THIS RIDICULOUS EVENT?

COMPETITION CLOSED

To the people who posted the first 100 comments below, see you there – Tuesday 15th December, Puma Store, V&A Waterfront. From 19h00 to 21h00..

I tell you what, between Apple products and these guys, life couldn’t be easier.

David, the owner of Caprice gave me no option but to attend a party at Caprice on Saturday night last week. And off I went. Or rather, the crew and I were fetched in one of those ridiculously over-the-top limos with neon lights inside and lazers and DVD screens. In a word?…ludicrous.

Very kak sunset that night..

Keep on rolling baby, you know what time it is..

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t fun. Make no mistake, it’s in another league to the ones they use for matriek balls – with dried body fluids knotting the deep pile carpets. No, no – this one was good clean fun! So we got out of the thing at Caprice and there were camera’s and microphones and all sorts of shit. I think there was also a red carpet. What exactly was going on, I don’t know. Something to do with Jamesons. Either way, we got a stunning table in the 20′s (know your Caprice table numbers, people) and the booze arrived.

The booze was consumed and more came. I stretched out my arm to show Hanneli a photograph on my iPhone and….whoops, the motherfucker fell into an ice bucket. An ice bucket with melted ice in it..

i.e. water. (sometimes you have to spell it out)

Photo taken just before the incident
We were marveling at that angel’s short jean pant.
We approved..

Now you know when there is an emergency and someone is about to die and everyone in the room freezes? Ja, it was like that. I whipped it out and started shaking it.

WATER was coming out of it.

“MY CHIIIIILD!!!!” I screamed, looking up to the heavens, arms outstretched.

“Oh, Jesus, God noooooo,” I pleaded, as The Muse rubbed my back, explaining to those around that whathadjusthappened was very much equal to the loss of a loved one. To me.

I drank the pain away and the next day I called Digicape, who told me what I knew already – about the guys that operate in secret, somewhere near to Mabu Vinyl . They have to be near to Mabu Vinyl, because Mabu Vinyl is where you deliver the thing AND where you pick it up – virtually ALWAYS fixed. I remember using them once before for an iPod which had a dead battery.

No-one SEES these people that fix the things. All you get is an invoice at the end from “iFix iPod Repairs.” Their logo is an oldschool iPod (chunky) with “iFix” on the screen.

I lOVE that vibe. They’re holed up inside some kind of Safe House nearby, where all they do is fix iPods and iPonies and anything that starts with an “i.” There are rumours that they use a team of abused Cambodian children who have no other option but to fix iPods. Apparently they live on memory chips, so it all kind of works out fine. But no-one has photographic evidence, so it can’t be true.

Either way, it’s very cool.

So anyway, let’s get back to the story. Let’s look at this in order of events..

I dropped the iPhone into the ice bucket on Saturday night.

On Sunday the screen was blank and it had dried a bit. I plugged it into my very sexual Macbook Pro, looking for a miracle and SOMEHOW the Macbook managed to talk to the iPhone and it synchronised…

I don’t know exactly what it did, but I took the iPhone to these guys on Monday.

I hacked my way through the week with your classic “piece of shit” phone and then, on Thursday, I got an email telling me it was FIXED. It had to be completely wiped as well but, you know, collateral damage is a reality.

Very naughty.

I picked it up on my way to the Invictus premiere which I attended with The Adventurer (Ryan Scott) who stars in the movie as ex-Springbok Brendon Venter. Whatever, you know – standard stuff. Big Tommy Boyd was there. What a beautiful man.

I left home with my laptop and, on my way to the movie premiere, the phone and the laptop made love.

They had a little baby and the baby was IDENTICAL to the one I thought I had lost. EVERYTHING was there. The contacts, the calendar, the photos, the music. Absolutely everything. Even the front screen wallpaper was there.

And here’s proof that everything is back to normal. Taken tonight. Morgan Freeman, throwing a very cool vibe at the premiere..

Morgs – going for it.

And that was that!

Oh, the movie?

Very good. Watch it. Trust me. I got quite into and even, dare I say, emotional.

And for anything to do with fixing you iPod, check out their website www.ifixipods.co.za for contact details etc.

An example of an actual cat being let out of a bag

So right now I’m going to let “the cat out the bag” about something I bought for someone. I’m not sure if they got it yet, but I can’t help telling you about it, because it’s a beautiful thing and you need to know about it.

Cape Town’s social circuit will know that the queen bee, Marina, from The LIttle Black Book, recently had a beautiful baby boy, Luc. Obviously with these kind of things, it’s quite tricky with regards to visiting times. Is she back from the hospital yet? Do they want visitors? Etc. etc.

That’s why I decided to take my mouse for a stroll down to the Woolies website yesterday. Now, being a premium quality SA brand, 2oceansvibe is no stranger to Woolworths, and we’ve recently indulged in their web vibe (let alone their steamy jeans ad – Gee whizz, Woolies! On the edge, hey?).

They seem to have updated their website since I last went – and have now included these “hampers.” They show up on the main page (bottom left) and, when clicked, it actually takes you to a seperate website – JUST for the hampers!

Just trust me when I tell you that www.woolieshampers.co.za will make you a rock star, for doing absolutely nothing. Please enjoy the first hamper I saw on the page (no spice – you can see for yourself here):

Are you joking?

The headline for that hamper was “A new baby boy“ and apparently includes:

cuddly teddy bear (nice)
soft, anti-pill polar fleece baby blanket (great)
machine washable bibs (thank heavens for that!)
earth friendly natural baby cream and baby powder (I’ll take that)
celebratory sparkling grape juice (whoo-hoo!)
1 memento iced duck biscuit nougat treat (fine)

“Oh, for God’s sake!” I said to myself, as I realised how ridiculously easy this all was.

Next to it was “A new baby girl.“ And then it just spiraled. “Snack Hamper” was the next one. Then “Mad hatter’s tea party,” “Nibble and braai,” “Coffee and chat,” “Festive treats” and so on, and so on, and so on. Check them all out here.

Did you enjoy the name of that one? Coffee and a chat! Haaaah! That’s hilarious! It’ll fly of the shelves in the Southern Suburbs, I tell you what; as the bored housewives kill time before picking up their daughters at Herschel.

*cough* That’s obviously after the pool boy has left.

I’ll let you know what Marina says, but it’s obviously going to be a hit and I’ll be ranked as “awesome.” For what? For a click here and a click there. Please…it’s too easy. It’s basically just all a big joke.

With the NIGHTMARE that is festive season shopping, I’ve got my eye on this very cheeky little Festive Treats Christmas Hamper…

Shame, that’s difficult to click..

I might just blast that through to a few people and earn a lifetime supply of brownie points while I’m at it.

Hmm.. now who has been behaving..

CLICK HERE to be awesome from the comfort of you own desk.

Behold, the ULTIMATE Christmas gift..

Due to the overwhelming amount of awesome videos on 2oceansvibe, you can’t be expected to watch it all – and let’s face it, not everyone has super fast internet. So here it is, people. You asked for it, and now you’ve got it. It’s the 2009 2oceansvibe DVD.

Not surprisingly, it’s entitled “Touch Yourself” and contains SO MUCH stuff I honestly don’t know where to begin. What’s more, they’re all presented in their original resolution, so you’re getting improved picture quality too!

Just to get you started, it’s basically got the ENTIRE 2oceansvibe Weathergirls Show collection (shame – poor you), with models including The Cowley Sisters, Tracy McGregor, Lyndall Jarvis, Genevieve Morton and tons more beautiful angels. And that’s not excluding the ones with Helen Zille and Goldfish and the other one with Bob Skinstad stripping down to his jocks! Some classic moments, I must admit!

But that’s not all..

Howz that DVD box? Pretty cool, hey? Can you imagine owning that and holding it close to your body? No need – just pop it in the DVD player and, when you watch it, it will feel like I am right there, holding you. Naked.

It’s also got the ENTIRE Pauly Shore series with Dirty Skirts soundtrack that we shot in Hollywood early on in the year – which includes Pauly Shore dry humping Zinzi on a physio’s table. Let alone live footage of Pauly making hotel booty calls and following through with the angels actually arriving at the door within minutes! Those who have watched the whole thing will confirm that it is truly hilarious! And I didn’t even mention the hidden-camera footage of Pauly in the drug store..

OBVIOUSLY it’s got the IDOLS Randall Abraham “Rocky” video which won the award for Best Blog Post at the 2009 SA Blog Awards. That same video has been watched online over 150,000 times so far. I simply couldn’t leave it out!

It’s got the little debate I had with Springbok Captain, John Smit, as well as the 2oceansvibe Top Billing feature which included Goldfish, as well as Ard Matthews from Just Jinjer on the show.

So it’s a bit of a joke when it comes to the volume of stuff you’re getting on the DVD. There’s even a Bonus footage section which includes the now famous Cape Town Short Cuts video, as well as behind the scenes never-seen-before footage of The TBG, Seth, The Dude, G-Man and the rest of the gang. I would tell you more, but don’t want to spoil it..

I had someone the other day tell me that they would pay R250 just for copies of all the weather girls. Well, Thomas, there will be no need! Because you can get EVERYTHING I have just mentioned AND MORE for just R100. That’s what a lot of people give car guards these days.

No surprises there – we’ve gone and made it too easy for you again.

It’s basically just all a big joke.

I cannot imagine a better Christmas present. It costs you nearly nothing and, at the same time, it might just save someone’s life. If you’re smart you’ll buy one for every person you’ve ever met in your life.

Do yourselves a favour and CLICK HERE (or the disc above) to go straight to the Diletto website, which is where you will be able to buy it right now, online baby!

And can you believe that the price includes a signed picture of Seth in the Karate-Kid “Crane” pose? Taken during the “Randall Abrahams ‘Rocky’ Video.”

Well it does.

All inclusive..

*The DVD will also be available to hire from all branches of DVD Nouveau.

*5% of all proceeds go to the MyLife Foundation

CLICK HERE TO BUY DVD

I’m pleased to say that the acquired taste of ass in foods is spreading up the coast, having now hit the Spar in Hermanus.

Excellent!

Check it out – Ass Cups…

Ass flavoured cup cakes..

Now available at the Hermanus Spar

That’s brilliant!

With a picture a person on the top of it!

I would assume that is the person whose ass they used? How can we be sure?

Weird, you’d think they’d use one ass for the whole whole batch.

[thanks tara]

Plasmas, Playstations, Digital photo frames, video cameras, holidays..
YOU NAME IT!

To recap – Nicola won:

WHY did they do this, you ask?

According to Old Mutual,

“If our winners had bought these products with an American Express® Old Mutual Investment Credit Card, a sum of R1041.54 would have been invested into a money market unit trust!

Remember, the new Investment Credit Card Account from Old Mutual allows you to invest, every time you spend. If you need any further information about this account, or would like to apply for one, please visit www.oldmutual.co.za/card.”

That’s absolutely fair enough!

Check out this vid I put together as I joined Nicola to claim the prizes

Now what has this taught you?

Quite simple.

You ready?

Enter ALL the 2oceansvibe competitions!

If you don’t, you’ll NEVER win.

FACT!

[*Video soundtrack is "Window Shopper" by The Parlotones]

I was contacted by the owner of an online company called luxury4less who have launched a very exclusive website offering a vast range of premium brands and designer products at massively reduced prices. But it’s not what you think – give this a moment..

This is a genuinely clever concept that I’ve seen overseas and, in particular, the U.K. where I know of a few friends who indulge. You see they have limited quantity of each product, which allows them to achieve massive discounts.

They’re pretty up front with how the whole things works. You’ll get the idea once you’ve read this:

Firstly, all our products are genuine, the real stuff, guarantees and warranties are provided, where applicable, and we also guarantee a 100% return policy (T&C apply) in case we deliver the wrong item. Discounts are negotiated with our suppliers, and offered to our members since the products offered in our campaigns might be off-season (or close to off-season) products, overstock, slow moving items, or, a new product the supplier would like to test in the South African market as part of a promotion.

Fair enough. Nice vibe. I gave it a bash today and I’m happy to say the system works perfectly. I used my login (after receiving approval) and, with the dwindling supply of smellies at home, I checked out the fragrances.

Case in point, The Hugo Boss Energise fragrance that I was perving at the airport on my way back From L.A. in July.

Due to the massiveness of the price reduction (40% off), there were only 3 in stock and the countdown clock (yes, there is a countdown clock) had 14 days to go. The price was set at R399 (rather than R660) and I’d be damned if I’d let this puppy slip through my fingers! I mean, seriously – R399? Those of you who buy premium fragrances will know that deals on fragrances should not be ignored. There is one rule – just get it – quickly – before it disappears.

So ja, that’s that – I bought mine and it’s on it’s way. But don’t panic – once those are gone, there are some others to go for – not that I can put my cock on a block that they will still be there when you get there!

Enjoy this screenshot, featuring everything from Lacoste and Joop! to Moschino and Happy Fizz:

And those aren’t all of them!

What’s more, fragrances are just ONE of the product lines they have. Don’t even get me started on the sunglasses, gym equipment, holiday packages, bags, plasmas and more.

Seriously – everything is RADICALLY discounted – you’d be silly not to have a squizz.

I explained to the owner of the website that 2oceansvibers should be allowed membership and shouldn’t have to go through a screening process – so he agreed and gave me a special 2oceansvibe promotional code for you guys to give you immediate access!

So go to the website HERE and put in your details, followed by this promotional code 2oceans@luxury4less.co.za

Go on, give it a little click – they will have something you want and it will cost next to nothing – www.luxury4less.co.za

The all new Cape Quarter “Extension”
Generally quite stunning..

Dubbed, the “Cape Quarter ‘Extension,’” this is what their website tells us:

Cape Quarter ‘Extension’

The Cape Quarter ‘Extension’ is now open.

In keeping with the lifestyle theme, Cape Quarter ‘Extension’ enhances the village environment. Patrons can enjoy the convenience and security of this self-contained lifestyle building, with Jarvis Street serving as the link between the current Cape Quarter and the ‘Extension’.
Upmarket boutique stores focused on décor, design, furniture, fashion, food, and entertainment makes this destination one of a kind.

[check out their website here]

I think a little round of applause is in order?
Well done, guys, looks good so far.
Let’s just hope the service compliments the facade of the building.

Last Sunday was no different.

The Camps Bay Friendly Store

The Muse and I felt the urge for a fizzy drink and I drove down from The Safe House to buy a Coke and a Stoney. I side-swiped the bottled foods isle to see if they had re-stocked the Carmel Strong Dill gherkins which haven’t been there for nearly a week (since I tweeted about it a month ago on September 9). Obviously they weren’t there.

Why would we keep stock of something
that keeps selling out?

They were also out of stock of the other products I look for every time I visit. Products that a lot of people like and products which are only there once in a blue moon, before they get sold out again. Notables include Carmel Strong Dill Gherkins, Judy’s Pickled Onions (strong) and Goldcrest Jalapenos. What does that tell you, guys? Maybe people like these products? Maybe you should order more? Does that not make sense?

It is interesting to note that these are the very same products I chatted about a YEAR ago – an article I wrote highlighting the fact that the Friendly store was out of popular products (as well as can openers), but were sure to have stock of home TIK testing packs.

Sunday had an extra twist, however, as I gave the lady at the till R50 to pay for four cans of cooldrink (total price around R25). She asked if I had anything smaller. I said no and she told me I had to wait for someone to bring change from “the back.” She gave me the R5 coin part of the change and then said I had to wait for the final R20.

There was another man waiting in front of me for change from a previous transaction. A classic “fuckshow” was developing before my very eyes.

Surely this wasn’t happening? I gave her a R50 note, not a R200 note! How could they not have R20 change?? It was a Sunday. I had ventured out of The Safe House cocoon, driven 5km, JUST to buy a cooldrink – and now I was stuck at the fucking till.

On a SUNDAY! Are you kidding me?

I waited for what seemed like an eternity, as everyone just stared ahead of them, blankly. I didn’t want to cause a scene and said, “look, I’m a regular customer, you’ve seen me here before, how about you just make a note that you owe me R20?”

“I can’t do that,” she said.

“Why,” I asked.

“Because maybe I won’t be here when you are here again.”

“Oh, God,” I sighed, “then stick the note on the wall, I don’t care, but this is ridiculous, I would rather get the money another time than spend my Sunday in a queue.”

She looked at me with a face that says, you’re a clever dick, aren’t you?

“Can you make a little note please – I’m dying here. I just want to drink my Stoney at home,” I pleaded.

And that’s when it happened.. She gave a MASSIVE huff and a puff and banged on the till, releasing the change drawer.

She flicked up those metal things that hold down the money, pulled out two R10 notes and slammed them on the counter, PISSED OFF.

I was speechless. “You had that there the whole time?” I asked. I didn’t wait for an answer and walked out. Upon exiting, I sideswiped the neverending management meeting that takes place in the “dining” area of the shop, very near the entrance and the tills. Naturally the team at the table were blissfully unaware of the pain their customers were going through a mere 10 meters away from them.

I gave my story, but don’t know why I did – it’s never helped anything before, why would it now? And no, he didn’t apologise.

Stunning vibe. A year down the road – still no change (scuze the pun).

Keep it up, guys.

CLICK HERE to follow 2oceansvibe on Twitterand enjoy some behind-the-scenes Seth action.

Genius!

So there was a live 5FM broadcast at UCT last Friday, which added another 405 pairs of jeans to the Get Rid Of Your Jeans For Good cause! Bringing the total to 5,266 pairs of jeans!!

Not shy!

Aah, the students!

Get into those pants, baby!

The 5FM team, live on air!

Well done, UCT! You’ve made us proud! And to attend lectures for the rest of the day in your jocks is a very noble undertaking!

Let’s keep it up guys and gals – the competition is still running and remember, Levi’s will pay you up to R200 for your old pair of jeans. AND you’re helping charity!!

Wallet gets looked after, as well as your karma..

It’s too easy!

Go! Go! Go!

I swear it. Our boys at Diletto have done the right thing and added the drinks to their online gourmet food and beverage emporium!

www.diletto.co.za

So they’re rocking with the De Grendel whites (here), reds (here), as well as our favourite, the Rosé (here). You can order that by the case, and at around R40 a bottle you’ll be laughing!

De Grendel Rosé

The Rosé is also finally available at Caprice, by the way. I’d order it if I were you. It tastes great and you will look cool too.

Back to Diletto. They’re also offering Jack Black beer (here) by the 6-pack. Personally, I’d order a case at a time – because then you can get it delivered in one of their awesome black boxes.

So crisp. So clean.

Awesomeness

And no online gourmet food and beverage emporium would be complete without the 2oceansvibe energy drink of choice which is taking Cape Town by storm, Pussy Natural Energy drink (here).

Natural Energy
Radness

Your can order those puppies by the 8-pack or you can be true to yourself and do like I do – order a case of 24! They go faster than you think. Also don’t be shy to knock one back in the morning if you’re feeling sluggish. It’s FAR more easy on the palate than some of the other energy drinks out there, which can be quite ghastly in the morning!

Well done Diletto, and well done to YOU, the 2oceansvibe reader, for finally getting what you wanted!

A wide array of jean pant

I think you will agree that it is a tad excessive. And that’s only some of them, which is half of what it was about a month ago. I give the odd pair to Mavis, you see (which she probably flogs to further afford her fast-paced jet-set lifestyle), but I’m still left with these reams of denim.

What am I going to do?!! [places back of hand to forehead - nearly passes out]

Well it’s not going to be a problem anymore – Levi Struass have just launched a new campaign which suits me to a tee! Quite simply, they’re going to BUY MY JEANS!!! For up to R200 a pair, to be exact! AND, what’s more, they’ll improve your karma by donating those very jeans to disadvantaged communities!

My goodness, it’s like you’re cheating – but you’re not!

See what they did there?
Get RID of your jeans, for GOOD!
Get it?

Oh, none of your old jeans are made by Levi’s? Hey, no problem my angel – they’ll take ANY brand of jean pant!!! Ja, you heard me. ANY brand! After all, charity shouldn’t discriminate.

Why are people paying us for our old jeans and then donating them to disadvantaged communities? Well, let’s be honest, it’s not for us to worry about. Levi’s are doing the right thing and everyone’s a winner.

2oceansvibe supports this vibe 100% – so get on over to your nearest Levi’s store and drop off your jeans.

Tell you what, if you go and donate your jeans (which they will pay you for) and send in a pic of you in your underwear in the Levi store, we’ll publish the pic right here on 2oceansvibe!

Send to editor@2oceansvibe.com

Deal?

Deal!

CLICK HERE for more info on the promotion, including Frequently Asked Questions.

(Thanks Delamaine)

Very interesting vibe they’re going for there. It’s ironic that corbohydrates are usually blamed for the extra weight people put on in areas including the buttocks. Spar obviously feel that we should be embracing this. They should bring out some new ones, like “Cellulite Chocolate” and “Pimple Sweets.”

Then we move on to this wonderful male chicken flavoured soup, spotted by an ex-pat reader in the UK. Amazing vibe.

(Thanks Rupert)

Good. Good. And then here we see the same male chicken mentioned again. Although there is no picture of him this time. It seems to have something to do with a Seeman called Frank? And it’s cheesy..

(Thanks Simon)

Whilst I’m sure they didn’t mean these things to come out the way they did, one has to wonder – did NO-ONE pick it up?

Very odd.

LESS 50% on all Lizzard and Lizzy clothing, fashion bags and surf backpacks!

That’s right – that means HALF PRICE!!!!

50% OFF ALL LIZZARD AND LIZZY CLOTHING
+ SELECTED ACCESORIES!!

Lizzard Cavendish (Cape Town) – 021 683 3335
Lizzard Fountains (J-Bay) – 042 293 0001
Lizzy Greenstone (JHB) – 011 452 6567
Lizzard Gateway (Durban) – 031 566 5522
Lizzard Westwood (Durban) – 031 266 6808

Doubt you’ll find a better deal than this at the moment on winter surf clothing and products.

Ooh, I do like that fluffy guy on the right!

For more stores check www.lizzardsurf.net

Two things to be aware of – the track in the background is Fort Knox by Goldfish (my personal fave tune of theirs) and the main model featured in the vid is none other than 2oceansviber and previous 2oceansvibe Weather Girl, Gabriella Demetriades.

Check it out:

Wow – there is so much “SYNERGY” between Woolworths and 2oceansvibe. They’re using models and bands that are all a part of the vibe!

Well done, guys!

I called the owner, Sugar, from the South of France on the day that Michael Jackson died. I asked him to keep all the Michael Jackson vinyl for me and I would pick it up upon my return.

Which I duly did yesterday.

The one record was Victory, by the Jackson 5. The first track is State of Shock which they recorded with Mick Jagger. My God, what an awesome tune! I very nearly forgot about this one.

Jeez it’s awesome!

“State of Shock ” is a 1984 hit single by The Jacksons featuring frontman Michael Jackson and Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger.

“State of Shock ” was the biggest hit from The Jacksons’ Victory album, reaching number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and number 4 on the Billboard R&B Singles chart. The song is written by Jackson and guitarist Randy Hansen.

The final version featured lead vocals by Michael Jackson and Jagger. “State of Shock” was the last top ten hit for The Jacksons, as well as their last single to be certified gold. The song was later revised by Jagger when he performed it with Tina Turner during their legendary 1985 performance at Live Aid.

What a vibe! With Jagger – going for it!!

Don’t miss out on MABU VINYL’S HALF PRICE SALE going on now. It won’t be going for very long so get your asses down there!

Mabu Vinyl HALF PRICE SALE
Website here

You do have a vinyl player, right?

Sort that out, if you haven’t yet.

Nick Goldblatt is due one, I’m sure..

“Suck me sideways!!” I yelled, “look at THIS!!”

Woolworths have now erected a “complementary sanitising wipes” station next to the trolleys. It dispenses wet-wipes for you to wipe the trolley handle with. Something Howard Hughes would be very pleased about.

We were at the Sea Point Woolworths and it came as no surprise that an elderly Jewish woman in her mid-90′s with blue hair and a Yorkie tottered up and actually used the towels to wipe the trolley handle.

Excellent!

“You can’t be too careful these days, Ruth!”

“Oh, I know, Agatha – what with swine flu and all!!”

Seth wipes his precious hands..
[please excuse my state - I had just landed that morning!]

It would have been better if they had spelt it “complimentary,” which refers to something being free, which is what I assume they meant? And I think it would be naughty to argue they meant it in terms of the wipes complementing the trolleys.

Let’s have a quick run through.

Click these guys to find out more.

Complimentary

vs

Complementary

Got it?

Here ends today’s lesson.

Let’s get a quick recap of that.

The eSimpowenis

Well, either way, I got an email from Eric at Springleap who told me the image was actually called “The eSimpowenis ” and was the winning design from their August 2008 competition on springleap.com (they run a design competition every 2 weeks, and the winning voted t-shirt is sold online and in stores).

Anyway, he directed to their website and I bought the T-shirt!!

Check, check, check it out!

My new T-shirt!
CLICK HERE TO GO TO IT ON THE WEBSITE

I know! Pretty cool hey?

I’ve subsequently been chatting to the owner and he agreed to a special little deal just for YOU. Quite simply, all 2oceansvibe readers will get R50 off their first purchase at Springleap.com.

All you have to do is use the coupon code “ThanksSeth” (case sensitive) when you buy your T-Shirt (any T-shirt) from their website.

Click here to go to their website.

Click here to go straight to the eSimpowenis T-shirt page.

Got it?

Good.

Enjoy it.

Please enjoy this guy standing in between two cars, waiting for his order..

Man pretends to be car

Whaaaahaha!

Is it just me? Or do you also find that terribly amusing?

Shame – engines running all around him. Petrol fumes.

Bored.

Do you think he gave a little, “beep beep” when he arrived at the window? Or pretended to wind down a window?

[thanks werno]

Naughty

R9.12 for some loose Russians!? My goodness, it’s a steal!

[thanks si]

Behold:

Spotted on window of a men’s manicure parlour.
Blue Route Mall, Cape Town.

Look, it’s a bloody nice gesture, but it’s probably not gonna fly. I’m just not sure if your mom would be very impressed if she saw that you had bought your dad a “handjob” for Father’s Day.

Thanks for that, 2oceansvibers!

While we’re at it, are YOU a 2oceansviber? Have YOU subscribed to the vibe? Did YOU receive yesterday’s awesome newsletter with behind the scenes action including Seth’s current Strengthening Ties Tour?

Not?

Pfffffft! [tries to contain laughter]

Well best you get moving, my love! CLICK HERE to SUBSCRIBE TO THE VIBE.

And then, when you’ve managed that, CLICK HERE to follow 2oceansvibe on Twitter and get a constant hit of live action (only available on Twitter) from wherever Seth is (currently The South of France).

[thanks brad, dan and nic]

Martyn Williams and Gordon D’Arcy
Not shy to get their kit off.

Stephen Ferries shows David Wallace
his show levitation trick

Simon Shaw admits that the length of one’s foot
DOES mean something

David Wallace chooses Puma over Adidas..

Very cool.

Can’t wait to get back into that shop when I get back to town..

Is that ok?

Betty Boop
Smoking hot..

Cost me 40 quid, that did; and I can’t say for sure WHY I bought it. It just sucked me in, tractor-beam, wrrrrrrrr.

I had just finished off a couple pints with The Inside Centre and was cruising down the high street and Betty Boop was basically PRESSING her body against the (dare I say) “bric-a-brac” shop window. She was openly flirting with me from inside the shop. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but her mouth seemed to be saying, “Don’t you want a piece of this?”

I walked out with her, arm in arm, less than ten minutes later.

[New readers should note that I'm an only child and was raised in a home with 1,000 antique porcelain dolls and a pack of a Yorkshire Terriers. And if that wasn't enough I had a computer from age 6 to keep me company.]

We end off with a showcase of Betty Boop’s more risqué appearances!

Naughty, Betty!

Click here for some little known facts about Betty Boop.

Click here for the official Betty Boop website.

Ag fooi tog!

[thanks jan]

We have been reporting the iStore/Core Group saga to you since last week. It began with my personal account of a dismal experience in the Waterfront iStore (here), which ended up with me going next door to Incredible Connection.

I then followed up with an article (here) responding to reader’s questions, confirming that South Africa’s Apple distributors, The Core Group, had not yet released a statement nor had they attempted to make contact with regards to what is rapidly turning into a diabolical situation. I went on to say that they must know about the drama, as the story I wrote comes up at the number 1 position in Google for the search phrase “waterfront apple mac” – the story is very much out there.

But then it became clearly as to why the Core Group don’t seem to give a toss.

They never have..

For those of you who haven’t had a chance to peruse the comments section of the original article (92 so far) or the follow-up article, here are some interesting pearls.

# Hectique Prognosis Says:
May 17th, 2009 at 8:19 pm e

Let me see if I get this:
Core is the sole importer of Apple products in South Africa, because they have sole rights for distribution. They resell to retailers in South Africa… AND they have their own retail stores? Does that not sound teensy bit wrong? They must really have the other Apple resellers by the balls. Any wonder they behave as if they own the place? Talk about a conflict of interest…

# Anon a miss Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 1:50 pm e

They won’t respond and why should they? This Core flaming will all blow over soon and then it will be business as usual. Besides, what do they care? Those Apple products that you guys bought from Incredible Connection/Digicape etc were IMPORTED BY CORE anyways! And where are those resellers gonna get more stock from? From Core, LOL. Its not like anyone else is even ALLOWED to import Apple products into SA. Monopolies are so lame and there are LOTS on South Africa.

Guess Who Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 2:28 pm e

I worked for Core HQ. Most resellers really hate The Core Group. Makro, Hifi and IC, the are forced to do business with Core. Believe me, some people from Core are not welcome anymore at these Head Offices.
They lost TomTom, (google TomTom / Core South Africa,) there are law suits because they ruined the TT Business. Unfortunately they have Nintendo as well, this is going strong as far as I can see. Go to Apple Sandton, they are grey importers as Core will call them, believe me the offer good service and full warranty !

 

# Can this be? Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 11:46 am e

All this info is most disturbing. If CORE is the only Distributor in South Africa, but are also infiltrating the Retail market, where does their loyalty lie when it comes to stock allocations? Would this explain why at times the iStores have stock, but not the other Resellers? Can this be? Somehow this doesn’t seem right… Talk about a monopoly…

MAC GIRL Says:
May 18th, 2009 at 9:45 am e

I worked at the istore for 2 years and working for the core company was horrible. I believe that customer service is comes first! And to them it wasnt, it was the last thing.. they were more worried about what the store looks like than anything else.
I aggree with the earlier post…. the reason for lack of knowledge is staff leaving after 2-6 months cause the core company treat their staff like crap!!
When they are not happy with a staff member they will work that person out of the company in the most horrific ways!!NO MATTER IF YOU WERE ONE OF THEIR STAR EMPLOYEES!! they just dont give a shit! And yes.. they do have the resellers by the balls… as the resellers cant complain cause there is no point to complaining if you can only deal with them and no one else. I also aggree with another post that said they should stick to distrubuting… and stay as far away from the retail stores as possible…. the worst part is… they wont! they are trying to increase their footprint and opening up more stores…. the waterfront was the first store to open.. and it was suppose to be their blue print store…they promised they will perfect that store before opening any others… but they didnt… the waterfront store had so many issues but they continued to open more… (money hungry)…
not realizing they were hurting the brand by doing that…
there are so many wrongs i dont ever think there would be a right!

 

# budmoto Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:17 pm e

The Core Business Group…. little people with big money.

I worked there and realized I couldn’t stay on and keep my sanity so I left. Service is abysmal.
The manager there, Karen, is a great person and good at what she does but she relies on Core and you can only imagine what that is like.
Your best bet is to support DigiCape until they are strong enough to compete with Core for the rights to distribute Apple products in South Africa.

# NOT!!! Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 4:19 pm e

The sad thing is that Core have forgotten that their main business should be DISTRIBUTION (as the only authorized distributors of Apple in SA), but they are so busy trying to push the resellers out of the market, that they’re stuffing up the entire brand in this country. No stock, no service, no nothing…. Mac products are so over priced in SA – I guess all the profit goes into Core’s pockets, ’cause apparently the resellers ain’t making much on it…

 

# Minnaar Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 12:03 pm e

That store is a joke. With the recent rand instability I was once again surprised at the wonder that is Apple in SA.

I went in to buy a dock for my iPhone, and it had a printed price on its package of R399. When I reached the till they told me sorry, the price has increased to R470.

Now this I dont understand. If you have it in stock, how can the price change the moment I buy it?

Is there not some law against this?

Apple in South Africa is a joke – the computers are overpriced compared to overseas as well. Lets see how long they take to decrease the prices now that the rand is stronger.

 

# PaulMark Says:
May 12th, 2009 at 12:47 pm e

I am a Apple convert through and through. Great products and (internationally) great service.

Since returning from the UK I have been shocked by the Apple retail experience in SA. There is no official Apple retail presence in SA. The iStores (owned by Core) are the closest thing to it. Unfortunately they are poor imitations of the genuine article. To start with the products are completely overpriced. This is blamed on exchange rates but of course the prices never go down when the rate improves. The staff know next to nothing about the computers they are trying to sell and seem to have the attitude that they are actually doing you a favour!

Wish Apple would realise the damage that Core is doing to their reputation for good service and open their own official Apple retail store in SA.

Havent said all that I have had good experiences at Digicape. Prices still arent great (Core sets the prices) but at least their service seems pretty decent.

 

# Anonymous Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm e

I am a current iStore employee (I cannot say which store), and I just have to say that I fully agree with Seth.

While I consider myself and a select few of my colleagues to be great salespeople and very knowledgeable with Apple’s products and accessories, as well as the tech industry in general, the majority of employees are not.

The reason for this is that the turnover of staff is very high (the average period of employment is usually only a couple of months before they decide to leave) and as a result they don’t have time to be trained properly or gain experience.

In my opinion, the reason the staff turnover is so high is because Core treats their employees, to put it simply, like complete shit. They do not keep their promises, their demands are unrealistic and they are very stingy.

I really hope Apple enter the market in South Africa and open up one of their official retail stores. Employees like myself and a few of my colleagues will happily abandon Core to work for Apple, officially.

Regards,

Anonymous iStore employee.

And so it goes on..

For those of you who haven’t had a chance to peruse the comments sections – check the original article and the follow-up article.

Anyway, back to the Volvo Ocean Race. On Saturday, one year since christening PUMA’s il mostro in Boston Harbor, Hollywood angel Salma Hayek reprised her role as the boat’s godmother when she joined the PUMA Ocean Racing team to wish them well ahead of the 2,550 nautical mile leg across the Atlantic Ocean to Galway, Ireland.

Salma Hayek and her husband,
PPR’s Francois-Henri Pinault, get the low-down.

Kate and Leo

This, from Puma Ocean Racing:

Crowds of thousands lined the dock at Fan Pier, Boston, as family, friends and fans said an emotional goodbye to the PUMA Ocean Racing team. As the seven boat fleet raced a lap of Boston Harbor, hundreds of spectator boats followed the fleet out into thick fog in Broad Sound. As the Volvo Ocean Race fleet turned east into open water and raced out into the Atlantic, PUMA was in third place. The seventh of ten legs, the transatlantic crossing is set to be one of the toughest legs of the 37,000 nautical mile round the world race. Expected to take eight to ten days to complete, the PUMA Ocean Racing team are battling for a podium finish.

Puma’s il mostro with Boston in the background
EASILY the hottest yacht in “The Volvo”

Speaking on the dock in Boston this morning, Skipper Ken Read (USA) commented: “The Boston stopover has been truly overwhelming. The public support and interest in the Volvo Ocean Race and in particular the PUMA team has been phenomenal. Over the past couple of weeks, we have had so many sailing fans come and visit the race village, as well as so many more new fans being created. The response and energy of the people in this area has been great, and I’m thrilled that PUMA has been a part of that. I can’t thank Joe Fallon, the people of Fan Pier and their volunteers enough for helping make this stopover such a success, as well as all of our PUMA family based here in Boston.”

The Volvo Ocean Race is made up of ten legs, finishing in June 2009 in St. Petersburg, Russia.

By joining the race, PUMA has entered a new premium category and is the only Sportlifestyle company to participate in the Volvo Ocean Race 2008-09.

For more info about the race, the team and the cool sailing gear, check out the Puma Ocean Racing website.

Then also check out the team’s blog HERE.

YOU CAN ALSO FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER HERE!

And I doubt they aren’t aware of it. When the comments section includes responses from current and ex-employees, as well as the owner of the Claremont iStore and a Google number 1 result for the search phrase “waterfront apple mac,” one would think it had come to their attention.

Not enough..

This, from a current Waterfront iStore employee (featured in the comments section of the original article):

Anonymous Says:
May 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm

I am a current iStore employee (I cannot say which store), and I just have to say that I fully agree with Seth.

While I consider myself and a select few of my colleagues to be great salespeople and very knowledgeable with Apple’s products and accessories, as well as the tech industry in general, the majority of employees are not.

The reason for this is that the turnover of staff is very high (the average period of employment is usually only a couple of months before they decide to leave) & as a result they don’t have time to be trained properly or gain experience.

In my opinion, the reason the staff turnover is so high is because Core treats their employees, to put it simply, like complete shit. They do not keep their promises, their demands are unrealistic and they are very stingy.

I really hope Apple enter the market in South Africa and open up one of their official retail stores. Employees like myself and a few of my colleagues will happily abandon Core to work for Apple, officially.

Regards,

Anonymous iStore employee.

Do yourself a favour and check out the rest of those comments . Out of a current 85 comments, there is ONE positive comment. ALL the rest are negative and most of them are directed at both the iStore and the SA distributors, Core.

Look, they’re consistent – I’ll give them that.

This, from Remo’s restaurant, just outside Mount Edgecombe estate in Umhlanga.

Remo’s stern notice to all cyclists

One cannot help but be reminded of, and to note the similarities between this public rights spar and man’s approach to global warming. With rumours afoot that Vida e are contemplating “No Helmets” signs in their stores, it seems possible that the freewheeling attitude and socially destructive behaviour of cyclists, might just be thwarted before it is too late.

Who knows, maybe some day it will become law..

[thanks adrian]

As I do.

This is how I’m rolling at the moment
Deal with it

Please enjoy the shoes which I have fallen absolutely in love with, as well as the jacket with old-school wooden buttons that I also got from Puma. Pretty sick hey? You’ve been missing those buttons, haven’t you? And there we were thinking Puma only did tight lumo stuff! Hah! We were very wrong, my friends.

Puma’s brand and rich history (awesome story about how it started if you don’t know it) has always intrigued me and I have embraced it in the very true sense of the word. Now it’s not in my nature to show-off TOO much, but I couldn’t help but show you these stunning pics below.

The result of a ballistic whirlwind 2 hour shopping experience I had at the Cape Town’s V&A Waterfront Puma on Friday.

The Puma Lifestyle store
On Cape Town V&A Waterfront’s “Death row”

The Puma lifestyle experience
Mother would be proud

The logo is so cool I almost didn’t want to unpack the bags. Nor did I want to throw them away. The red and the white logo… with the leaping Puma – come on, man – it’s just too much! I want it inside me.

I wouldn’t want to take up all your time showing you one product at a time, like the pair of green Puma Clyde Kozydan’s (plutz!) that I finally got my hands on, after reading about the shape and history on CoolHunting‘s website (made famous in the 70s by the endorsement of New York Knicks’ Walt Frazier, btw). As well as hearing (on HypeBeast‘s website) about the Los Angeles based painters and illustrators Kozyndan who designed them .

So instead I’ll just give you a broad overview of my radical haul of Puma Lifestyle clothing.

Very naughty.

Don’t be shy of the Rudolf Dassler jacket
Second from the right at the top

I must say, I had NO idea that Puma were connected to Evisu jeans? did you know that? And Ducati! How rad is that!? I mean, I knew they were connected to Ferrari , but had no idea about Ducati! And, let’s face it, Ducati is SO hot right now!

Actually, while we’re at it, let’s just get a quick close-up of my Evisu jeans and red distressed leather Ducati belt.

You know you want one!

I think I’ll stop there before I get TOTALLY carried away. I just wanted you to be AWARE of what was going on at Puma.

Crazy stuff.

I held back from the leather jackets they have there that will come in VERY handy during winter. I’m just waiting for the right time.. They’re so goddamn awesome – you know the ones I’m referring to? Those fitted leather jackets that the coolest kids in the world are wearing at the moment? Not too many zips… you know the ones..

God, I’ve wanted one for AGES!

It will be mine.

Oh yes, it will be mine..

[thanks alex]

Seth,

Hanging off the backend of a bender – myself and the missus were looking for a KFC, something to soak up the booze!

Anyway, not feeling great at the time we decided to do the drive through thing in the line and as we turn the corner some komskom has spray painted this on the wall!

Food for thought?

Doug W

 

Wow, that’s pretty hilarious. Someone obviously knows something that we don’t. Although our national cricket team are sponsored by KFC at the moment and they don’t seem to be growing any strange appendages out the sides of their necks.

For now.

Good heavens – can you imagine if they were sponsored by KFC in Pat Symcox’s day? He would have fielded with a KFC barrel under his arm, with a drum stick in one hand and a cigarette in the other! The tricky part would have been deciding which to drop if the ball came his way! He’d probably suck the marrow out of that chicken bone long before the ball came down to earth. He’d have to, they belong together .

Aah, good times.

What a beaut.

ps. I’m spending the weekend in Kommetjie, this coming weekend. The above reference to the komskom was made by the reader, not Seth. Don’t forget that Kom Skom spiritual leader, Ian “Mettie” Metcalf, has given Seth the key to the city.

Ok, so that makes Mother’s Day on May the 10th – THIS Sunday! So time is not a luxury you have. So hold on tightly, ‘cos I’m taking you on a quick ride. Which starts like this. It’s a real tin of fudge and I got it free and my mother won’t know the difference!

Yes, FREE.

Free!

You’re probably wondering how I got that fudge for free if the price above clearly states R49,95? Quite simple – that is because they gave me a R50 voucher when I signed up to the Woolworths online shopping system. And you can too. I’m dead serious – CLICK HERE and see for yourself. It’s not the only thing that costs R50, by the way!

So, that aside. You can pretty much count on Woolworths to have a selection featuring EVERYTHING that your mother would love. It doesn’t get much easier, to be honest. I found myself click-click-clicking away and securing some classic winners. I’m going to score some MAJOR points with the latest in the Woolworths TASTE cookbook series, which I remember my mom RAGING about to her cronies.

Woolworths TASTE cookbook
Major points!

Well it’s either that or one of these ridiculously awesome fleece gowns. My mother used to have one which she got from some up market lingerie store, but I stole it from her. I’m an only child – I can get away with that kind of stuff. But I do feel bad so I might throw in one of these beauties! Are you aware of how cuddly these are? She’ll feel like she’s snuggling up to a three week old golden lab.

Do you KNOW how awesome these gowns are?

But I don’t want to get carried away on the big things – I might throw in a few small items. Some exfoliating soap, for example, NEVER hurt anyone’s mother!

R19.95?
Come on, this is too easy!

Or the foam bath and body lotion combo!
At R49.95, you could get this free
With your R50 voucher when you sign up!

Throw it in!
I can see my grandmother enjoying these..

Chocolates..
..a given!

When last did anything cost less than R10?

Warming Booties?
My goodness, they’re too adorable!

And so it goes on – it’s actually getting a bit much. And those are only SOME of the Mother’s day gifts they’ve got. As I write this, I’m scrolling through the other items available and there are loads more gifts for mothers, grandmothers and mothers-to-be. From beautiful floral bouquets and pretty jewelry to delicious treats and bath time indulgences. For the mom who loves flowers, they’ve even got special Mother’s Day bouquets and potted plants .

And it’s affordable too – I noticed a bottle of sparkling wine for R24.95! And they’ve even got proper French Champagne for R215. The last time I bought a bottle of French Champagne somewhere else it cost R625! There’s shower gel, perfume, candles, vases, handbags, picture frames, gloves, body butter, travel bags, gift bags, note books, bracelets and more. It’s ENDLESS!

And remember, if you don’t know what to buy, you’ll do particularly well to get your mother/grandmother a Woolworths gift card – to let her decide what she wants to buy from Woolies.

Do yourself (and your mother) a favour and go to the Woolworths Online Shop, register, claim your fifty bucks, choose some Mother’s Day gifts and THEY’LL deliver it for you. To your mother’s door! I can’t recall it ever being any easier than that!

Click the image below to take you straight there!

CLICK HERE to shop online at Woolworths

Well done – you’re finally making sense of all the chaos and getting one step closer to living the holiday!

Go go go!

CLICK HERE to shop online at Woolworths

[If you haven't watched part 1 then you need to do that first otherwise it won't make sense. Seriously]

It should be in the article below this one. If not, CLICK HERE.

And so, once you’ve done that, here is Part 2 (of 2), featuring Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model and BOMBshell girl, Genevieve Morton!

Fine

Video is below.

REMEMBER : For smooth viewing: JUST as you start playing, PAUSE the video to let it load up a bit, THEN PLAY it.

Enjoy:

Never mind the actual weather, the report was FINE!

I was hesitant when I first met Gen, but, I’ll be honest, [switch to high pitched voice] she won me over. Besides from being smoking hot, she is a bona fide cool chick.

Gen gets into character..

So here it is, people – the fourth 2oceansvibe Weather Girl joins us for this weeks weather report!

This comes with much love and, whilst ikraal.co.za do all the production work, a big thank you goes out to Nesslynne (The TBGess), who filmed the scooter thong scene… (God help us all).

Watch part 1, then part 2 (to come). Obviously.

The one part features the thong vibe and the other part features the weather report. You need to watch both to find out!

But, for smooth viewing: JUST as you start playing, PAUSE the video to let it load up a bit, THEN PLAY it.

PART 1 :

Thanks again Gen for being such a little star!

And the rest of you, have a wonderful weekend, my darlings.

I’ll be honest, it’s pretty much the ultimate T-shirt.

Seth raises his hands
To show there is no trickery afoot

So for a brand that used to trade almost exclusively online, fans will be pretty excited to note that they are FINALLY available at a retail outlet! That’s right, you can actually go into a shop and see the full range, try them on and get the perfect design and size to suit YOU! More about that in a second.

I lied earlier. I managed to get my hands on the WHOLE new range. I laid them out around The Safe House and took some pics for you. Check check check it out:

I can see you in the middle one
The Muse digs the one on the far right.
It’s not a good shot actually..
..the green is radder than it looks.

Batman and Province

Keep in mind that these are the ORIGINAL Ape Town T-shirts. There are a lot of fakes out there, but these guys own the actual trademark. So beware of knock-offs by the likes of Quiksilver that have been selling around town.

We can confirm that the ONLY place selling the original Ape Town T-shirts is Finger Clothing on Kloof Street (www.finger.co.za). It’s next to St. Elmo’s and opposite the Kloof Lifestyle Centre. Say… 60m up the road from Vida e. There’s a petrol station two shops down so you can nip in while you fill up your truck.

Or you can park underground at the Kloof Lifestyle Centre (first half an hour is FREE!)

Finger Clothing – Kloof Road – Cape Town
Sole suppliers of the original Ape Town brand

“One good ape deserves another”

Too awesome for words.

Stocks are limited so get yours now before they sell out!

Maybe I should be spending more time in Woodstock? Because if there are pearlers like this to be had, I may never need to leave.

The Obama Haircut – perfected in Woodstock, Cape Town

Oh my shattered nerves! Did you get all of that?

“OBAMA HAIR CUT – Looking neat is our TARGET, change your look – YES WE CAN!”

I

am

completely

finished!

FINISHED!

[thanks katie]

Check it out and, by the way, this one is FOR THE LAYDEZZ! :

Good effort.
Although not AS impressive as the boys at Giovanni’s

Jockey claim that sales of their coloured Y-front briefs have rocketed by an average of 60 per cent over the last six months – and the baby pink pairs have sold more than any other, seeing a 62 per cent boost in sales over the past three months.

Other colours that have seen a hike in sales are baby blue, orange, and a very fetching pistachio green.

If claims that men are perking themselves up using their pants is true, it adds a new dimension to lipstick economics – the theory market -watchers attribute to sales of small cosmetic items rising in a recession, or the fact that hemlines rise and fall with the economic state of the country.

According to Jockey, this sales spike mirrors a similar effect seen in America during the great depression of 1935.

[more here]

Very interesting and it certainly does make sense.

I’ve always worn pink underwear so it’s not a big deal for me (Calvinia Klein do a great pink, by the way). Although, I must admit that, since this recession kicked in I’ve found myself wearing a lot more G-strings in the day to perk myself up.

Want to see?

Whoops!

[shows hem of G string, gets shy, blushed, runs away, squeeling, but in a provocative way]

“Middle of nowhere” parking is now an offence
“Oh my God! It’s like you can’t do ANYTHING anymore!”

Gone are the days you could just drive into the Waterfront and stop and park when it felt good – now they actually want you to FIND a parking spot and drive INTO IT.

I know. Bastards.

Next thing they’re going to force us to queue.

It’s going to be a big change, but I’m sure we will manage.

[thanks ryan]

]]> http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/04/06/waterfront-ban-park-anywhere-rule/feed/ 5 http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/18/2oceansvibe-gets-another-google-number-1/ http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/18/2oceansvibe-gets-another-google-number-1/#comments Wed, 18 Mar 2009 09:30:00 +0000 Seth Rotherham http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/03/18/2oceansvibe-gets-another-google-number-1/ Read more...

Customer: I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.

Employee: ‘What you want on the cake?’

Customer: ‘Best Wishes Suzanne’ and underneath that ‘We will miss you’.

Too beautiful

Aaah, that’s just glorious!

[thanks andy]

Check this out.

210onLONG – SUSTAINABLE SHOPPING SUSSED*

Cape Town’s latest shopping experience, a synthesis of Long street style and sustainable shopping, opened with a phenominal celebration on Wednesday 4 Feb, with late night shopping hours.

As more people choose to turn their environmental ethics into action, 210onlong offers an innovative, vibrant experience for conscious retailers and consumers, in Cape Town’s creative heart, Long street.

The run down Baobab Mall has been lovingly recycled, using eco-friendly building techniques wherever possible, from the bricks (recycled) to the paint (organic, non-toxic), cement (lime rather than cement), timber (registered forests) and finishings (non-toxic varnish, indigenous tree etc.). The result is a bright, elegant shopping mall with more than 15 varied retailers all with a percentage of their products respecting the people and materials that create the things we like to buy.

Miki Clark, one of the owners, said: “We’ve used as many eco-friendly products while building as possible, and we’ve invited stores to open up in here that have the same sustainable ethics we do. A percentage of everything sold here is either eco-friendly, organic, recycled, subscribe to fair trade principals or are made locally. We are developing the mall in phases, and although it’s not entirely sustainable yet, we aim to eventually get it functioning completely off the grid.”

“One of the aims of the centre is to establish a culture of relaxed, late night shopping in Long Street, so the centre will be open till 8pm on weeknights and till 6pm on Saturdays. We want to offer Capetonians a chance to enjoy the vibrant, contemporary stores in the heart of their city, after work,” he said.
Shoppers keen on staying green will not be disappointed, but neither will those who are after original, stylish fashion, homeware or just a great cup of coffee.

*Stores include: *

1. U & Me – a hub of coffee, clothing and conversation, offering
local designer fashion and excellent barristers
2. The Hemporium – stylish clothing, bags, cosmetics and shoes made
from hemp – housed in their elegant concept store
3. The Green Shop where you will find the uber-cool “Give it bag” –
designer recycled bags, and all things solar powered from
batteries for cell phones, lights and home wear to ingenious
children’s (and adult) toys
4. Think Shoes, an exclusive distributor of original, handmade
footwear made from eco friendly processes and materials
5. Never on a Sunday, a Long Street icon, offers vintage and retro
clothing
6. Baobab Books, the illustrious rare book shop, has been
refurbished. The Time Out, Cape Town 2009 called it: ‘Serious
literature and volumes on material culture further attest to a
discerning selectivity at the helm. A bibliophile’s nirvana.’
7. Ny Lon, another Long street legend, offers 100% locally designed
fashion inspired by New York and London.
8. Galleria Gibello, whose emotive African photographs are printed on
handmade recycled paper, has opened her second gallery here
9. juices and smoothies at Tutti Fruity
10. Afro Hair – a hair salon offering organic hair products
11. Wag world – Gorgeous pet accessories designed and made locally
12. Gravy – proud supporters of Craig Native – local talent
13. Moss clothing – locally designed and manufactured clothing,
accessories and fun gear
14. Afrikan Link – local music, clothing, books and soaps
15. Vintage – stylish gear from yester-year

For more information contact: Stacey: 082 391 3878

Check out their website as well – www.210onlong.co.za

Pretty sick!

Or maybe even get a manager with a standard 6 to oversee those people.

This, spotted in Pick ‘n Pay – Rosebank Mall, Johannesburg.

Cudbury Lunch Bar
only R4.99

We cannot confirm if the people that make the Pick ‘n Pay signs have anything to do with the people that make the road signs in Noordhoek (below). But there definitely seems to be a connection of sorts.

[thanks paul]

]]> http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/09/pick-n-pay-wins-literary-prize/feed/ 3 http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/02/buy-run-dc-t-shirts-online/ http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/02/buy-run-dc-t-shirts-online/#comments Mon, 02 Feb 2009 13:00:00 +0000 Seth Rotherham http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/02/buy-run-dc-t-shirts-online/ Read more...

I saw this and thought you might like it.

I KNOW! How stunning?

The Jimmy Choo website tells us the following:

Tube
Rainbow snake clutch bag
€ 950.00

This contemporary evening bag is the epitome of modernist chic. The rainbow snake skin really makes a statement.

Dimensions:
L22.5 x H8.5 x W6cm
L9 x H3 x W2″

[click here for more]

Gorgeous! And it’s a STEAL at only R10,000!

You have three options.

1) Buy it.

2) Win the EuroMillions lottery (R300 million jackpot this Friday) and buy it.

3) Screw the right guy and get him to get it for you.

I love it!

[thanks jason]

I swear.

This is not the actual cyclist in question.
Merely another incredible example sent in by a reader

Check this out from hellopeter:

THE INCIDENT

I have frequented OYO Restaurant for the past 8 years!!! Occassionally I take my familiy to breakfast or lunch at this institution. I regulary have coffee and toast on a Saturday and Sunday morning, after a cycling training ride, with my friends ay OYO.

However, we will NOT use them ever again!!! We were chased away like the rinder pest this past week. We were told that no more cyclist will be served. The duty manager mentioned that we were turned away due to the hotel being fully booked.

The time we normally make use of the OYO restaurant is +- 7h30. At this time we normally see 3 or 4 guests. Furthermore, we sit outside! But wait until winter, then they will want us back.

OYO and their attitude toward local residents of Cape Town has been seriously damaged. They do not deserve to have the right to trade! They appear to be snobs and I am disgusted by their attitute.

I for one will tell all my friends and clients about my experience.

Date of Incedent – 3 January 2009
SUPPLIER’S RESPONSE
Time: 16:25:01
Mon 5 Jan 09

 

Hello Edward E

Thank you for taking the time communicating with us regarding your unpleasant experience on your recent visit to OYO restaurant at the V & A Waterfront.

Your valued comments and suggestions regarding cyclists not being allowed in the restaurant is noted and has been forwarded to the relevant principals for feedback.

Please be assured that service is of prime importance to us and that we are constantly striving to improve this in all aspects.

We appreciate your ongoing to support and apologise for any inconvenience caused. We hope that future visits to the Victoria & Alfred Waterfront proves to be more pleasant and memorable.

Yours sincerely,

Zulfa Nordien
Senior Co-Ordinator : Customer Services
Tel : (021) 408 7713
Email : znordien@waterfront.co.za

CUSTOMER’S FEEDBACK
Time: 20:59:05
Thu 8 Jan 09

Utterly disgusted: Even though Zulfa from the V&A Waterfront responded immediately, the OYO Restaurant has ignored me completely!!! As stated, they are not interested in my case. They are pathetic!!

[read here]

Shame. My heart bleeds.

[thanks melanie]

[thanks anton]

Nonetheless, the result is quite stunning.

This, spotted in a local GAME store.

A “Fucksware” mini oven

Fucks the chicken – spit roast style

Although seemingly similar, this product is obviously VERY different to the previously featured Mikero Slave Oven.

[thanks kathy]

Then I tried one more time and spotted it next door to Boss Models, in a little yellow building, 166 Bree Street, near the four-way stop.

What other DVD shops want to be when they grow up.
DVD Nouveau
166 Bree Street

As Cape Town DVD rental stores and DVD shops in Cape Town go, this is, without doubt, the best there is. The Interior decorator was 100% spot on when she mentioned the range found at DVD Nouveau. Two examples should be enough for you. 1 – they have all four seasons of Entourage and 2 – they even have the classic 11 minute short, Dinner for One. You might remember Dinner for One was that black and white production that used to run every New Year on SABC. The one with the butler who gets absolutely smashed whilst serving the lady of the house and her imaginary guests. The quote “the same procedure as every year, James,” and his tripping over the animal head on the carpet might be a couple of highlights that tweak your memory.

Honestly, there hasn’t been one movie that I have tried to rent that they didn’t have. This weekend’s random request for the Dreyfuss/Midler/Nolte classic Down and Out in Beverly Hills was too easy for them. This morning I rented the box set of Louis Theroux interviews. You don’t know who Louis Theroux is? Get it. Trust me.

HOW stunning!!??

An old converted home, the DVD rental shop sports four separate rooms, each showcasing a different theme/genre of DVD to rent; with everything from latest releases, to foreign films, documentaries, comedy etc. The little sofa’s and chandeliers are TO DIE FOR!

So there is not much more I can tell you about this gorgeous little find, other than you need to get your ass there ASAP. Oh, there is one more thing – all DVD’s (except new releases) have a TWO DAY return policy! That’s right, you only have to return them after two days. Pretty cool!

This article would not be complete without a mention of my favourite new popcorn which goes perfectly hand in hand with ANY DVD. Please enjoy the new Woolworths popcorn!!

It’s just too incredible to behold!

Woolworths popcorn in its own box!
To die for!

I know!

The new Woolworths popcorn comes in its own box! So, unlike the other brands out there (sis!) you can eat the popcorn from the container you made it in. And it’s so much fun to operate! Like a popup book, the Woolworths popcorn comes in a flattened box, and you simply pull the two little tags outwards and *POP* the box stands to attention – ready for some microwave action!

THE WORLD CUP STARTS IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS!

Not only can you feel like a supermodel when you shop at Canal Walk, but you can experience time travel at the same time!

You never have to leave!

I’ve never seen a Yumchum, let alone a Yumchum’s ass.

Is it like a Bum Chum?

Some, err, ASS for you, Sir?

Tsk tsk. Naughty.

[thanks zone]

Hmm, kyk how lyk hy nou!

Kate Moss has apparently re-signed her deal with Topshop for a reported $6.1 million a year for three years.

The Telegraph reports:

Kate Moss
sells

This morning Kate Moss signed up for another three years at Topshop, where she plans to add new lines of lingerie and accessories to her forthcoming collections…

Kate Moss is continuing her reign as the high street’s style-queen.

The money-spinning supermodel has signed on for a further three years with Topshop, it was announced this morning, and is planning to add new collections of lingerie and accessories.

Moss, 34, originally sealed her design collaboration with Topshop in September 2005, in a deal reportedly worth £4 million a year.

Since May 1st 2007, the high street chain has launched eight best-selling collections under the Kate Moss for Topshop label, available in 22 countries worldwide and also in Australia, Europe and the United States via topshop.com.

Moss’s new spring 2009 collection will go on sale in March next year and will also be available at the launch of the Topshop/Topman flagship store in New York’s Soho district, scheduled for that month.

“I believe this has been a great partnership for both TOPSHOP and Kate. Having had two years experience, I am confident that Kate’s collection now has the potential to become a significant global brand within TOPSHOP,” said Sir Philip Green, owner of Arcadia Group of which Topshop is part.

“The last two years have been an exciting experience,” Kate Moss said. “Topshop has given me the perfect platform to develop my own collection, which is something that I have wanted to do for a long time. I am really looking forward to working with the Topshop team on our new collections and thank everybody who already owns a piece of Kate Moss for Topshop!”

Quite mean.

We’ll see similar things here… when I launch the “Rothers” range of incredibly cool mens fitted clothing.

As with most things on 2oceansvibe, word seems to have got around and the Woolworths powers-that-be sent me a little package which I have JUST opened this very second.

It came with this card and message..

 

Dear Seth,

We thought we would lend a hand with your Christmas shopping.

Please find attached a CD with images and descriptions of some of our Christmas products, as well as a gift card for your enjoyment.

Thanks for the support.

Happy holidays!

Woolworths

ps. We’re offering free gift wrapping this year, as usual..

OH MY GOD – how cheeky is that!? I can honestly say that I am close to tears right now! Whilst constant attention and adoration certainly are commonplace around these parts, I did not expect a brand as big as Woolies to have their finger on the pulse to this extent! I’m speechless..

Not for long. I’m fine now.

Now I don’t know how much cash they’ve loaded onto this Gift Card (note to self – get USB magnetic strip card reader), but I’ve been having a squizz through this CD at some of the stuff they’ve got on the shelves for Christmas, and I reckon I could get most of my shopping out of the way in one go!

I’m also pretty pissed off to tell the truth, because I should have waited a bit longer before I bought this little beast from Woolworths two weeks ago! Arrgh, the pain of spending money when you don’t have to!

My brand spanking new Cafe Retro
Espresso machine from Woolies

How gorgeous is that? It works like a dream, too! I’d love to tell you how much it was, but I actually can’t remember. I remember it being quite insignificant, for what I was getting. I think it was just over a grand. Seriously.

So, besides the pewter busts of myself that I send to various heads of state, I don’t really have a long list of close family that I buy prezzies for. I tell you one thing though, with the difficulty involved in getting The Muse out of bed in the morning, I’m pretty stoked that Woolworths sell these little beauties..

Portable iPod docking station with
alarm clock and radio! Are you kidding me?

Hey? Did you even know that they sold digital stuff at Woolworths? Neither did I! And they’ve got LOADS of stuff. Check out this digital weather station – my dad is a weather NUT, this will go down like a homesick mole!

Digital weather station!
Come on, man – it’s too easy!

I’m not going to get too carried away before I find out how much money is in this gift card they gave me. But I do think I should run you through some of my personal choices.

“Ageless” cleansers and travel kit
Mother dearest – nailed!

Scented body wash..
Grandmother – done!

Jewel Thong Slippers
God-Daughter – nailed!

Radio-controlled Lamborghini
Other God-Daughter – done!

I beg your pardon?

You what?

You don’t think it’s a suitable gift for a little girl?

And can you picture me playing with teddy bears or dolls ?!

No you can’t.

Can you drive a teddy bear on the road?

No you can’t.

She has to learn how to drive one day, doesn’t she?

Yes she does!

It’s a LAMBORGHINI, people! She also has to learn which guys to target, doesn’t she?

Exactly, it’s dual purpose.

Mind your own business.

Ahem, sorry about that..

My goodness, the list of Christmas products on this CD are endless! The file size is also massive, so what I’ve done is I’ve put together a portion of the products available and you can CLICK HERE to download it and check it out for yourself.

I must say, I’m bloody impressed.

Well done, Woolworths, and thanks for the gift card!

Mwah!

x

Sexual

They did not fix them at all.

they took photos, filed a report and sent it to Paris.

Four days later (yesterday) they called me and told me to come through to the branch and fetch a BRAND NEW PAIR!

THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!

I put them on immediately in the shop and – you’ll think I’m joking – it felt like the very first time.

I swear to God.

I never imagined that the SAME feeling could be felt again, but, I tell you, it happened to me yesterday. GOD, it felt good! It, it….it…..it was like I was being felt up by a thousand virgins.

Honestly… I’m still tingling.

God bless you, Louis Vuitton.

The Prego Roll – by Vida e
Insane

As worldly and sophisticated as I am, I was apparently oblivious to the fact that prego rolls have garlic in them. OH MY GOD! It was 10 in the morning and I was KLANKING! But you know what? I didn’t care, because it was SO awesome!I hope they’ve got their recipe under lock and key. I can’t describe it – you just need to get one.

You know when you just don’t care that you smell of garlic, because it feels like heaven? That’s what I’m talking about.

People walk into my office and they’re like, “whoooah, it stinks in here!” but they don’t leave. They’re quite happy to stick around for a while. Jason had one yesterday. He loved it. He stank, but he was still the winner.

Get one.

Trust me.

Be sure to check out the new Vida that has just opened at Constantia Village. They’ll have Prego’s there..

Let’s have a look at that.

“Partners” at the V&A Waterfront

It took about five times of total and utter bleeding pain, before it finally sank into my brain that Partners at the V&A Waterfront in Cape Town DO NOT ACCEPT AMERICAN EXPRESS CARDS! It does happen from time to time in little shops or stores (generally rural villages) and one shouldn’t scold these shop owners – after all, AMEX merchant facilities do charge around 1% more than VISA and MASTERCARD, which could hurt the little guy.

BUT, to position your shop inside South Africa’s number 1 tourist hotspot, the V&A Waterfront, next door to Lillywhites, and downstairs from the likes of Gucci, Louis Vuitton and Jimmy Choo (Death Row), WITHOUT accepting American Express…. Well, it can only be described as a Mind Fuck.

It’s ridiculous. I simply CANNOT get my head around it. Partners, you are totally and utterly RIDICULOUS!

I must say, I’m gobsmacked that V&A Waterfront’s management even allow it.

Christ, my grandmother accepts American Express.

Oh yes, TIK tests..

TIK – now you can test the whole family!

I remember reaching breaking point a while back and phoning the shop manager at the time (their staff turnover is nothing short of radical) whilst still frothing at the mouth following another failed car journey to the store for supplies. His response, when challenged on a can-opener issue, was “please understand sir, it is a CONVENIENCE store!”

“Yes, and a can opener would be pretty fucking convenient right now!” I shrieked as the phone went down.

I’m glad to see that TIK tests are deemed more important than Carmel Strong Dill Gherkins, Judy’s Pickled Onions, Goldcrest Jalapenos and can openers.

I’m also pleased to report that I have not taken TIK. I checked, and I’m clean!

In hindsight, a combination of those products could be quite dangaroo in the hands of a person high on TIK.

Good thinkin’!

BAD BOYS
e-TV get lazy

Sunday night 8 o’ clock movie aficionados will agree that e-TV have finally overplayed the Bad Boys I or II hand – trusting (hoping) that the Smith/Lawrence appeal will never die. And, whilst I would usually tend to agree, it just feels a bit too soon since the last one (whatever it was, I or II).

Naughty.

At the very least, we can perve David Duchovny’s wife Teo Leoni, subsequent to finding out that he went to rehab for sex addiction (not Montrose Place by the way, although they are said to have recently accommodated some high profile guests for a similar addiction).

A lazy choice by the leading terrestrial channel, nonetheless, ESPECIALLY after their recent Steven Siegal fuckfest that seems to come in waves throughout the year. If you want some easy shoe-ins that we haven’t seen for a while, why not impress the boys with a bit of The Bonfire of the Vanities? Or, dare I say it, Top Gun or The Colour of Money? The guys at SABC 1 scored serious brownie points a few months back when they pulled the former out of the bag – albeit with ads in between. But Jeepers could you imagine if they fluked The Colour of Money, in the wake of the great Paul Newman’s death? That would have been an absolute treat!

“THE KID’S GOT A SLEDGEHAMMER BREAK!”

God, the gimps at SABC must have a TROVE of old classics at their disposal. It’s a pity they can’t tell their Newman’s from their van Damme’s. They should put someone from DVD Nouveau in charge of that. In fact, just have a little look here to check out their Paul Newman range.

Paul Newman
January 26, 1925 – September 26, 2008

A sad farewell to one of the kings, as the walls close in on the era of true living movie greats.

Something tells me it won’t feel the same when Clive Owen hits his 80′s and passes away.

Hang in there Jack, Al, Rob..we need you.

Yup, that’s the one

As the new face of Blue Bay clothing, Tracy was on hand in a dangerously revealing dress. Cameras on the scene caught a little tete-a-tete between Seth and Tracy.

Check it out:

Click here if that doesn’t want to play
(Then refresh that next page until it works)

Did you enjoy that little number she was wearing? Check out the full range at Blue Bay Clothing in Green Point, above Melissa’s – home of the R650 sandwich.

This was my pick of the new exciting summer range of dresses.

It’s so purrrdy!

I knelt down on my knees and thanked God that I had my camera on my person. This, being the result.

Please, please enjoy it with me. Just take it all in.

CLICK HERE if that doesn’t play
(then ctrl-F5 to refresh that next page into a coma until it plays)

What an incredible vibe to go for.

Must dance like that.

Must buy iPod.

First port of call was Vida e in Camps Bay, where Losh put together one of nature’s finest Cappucino’s for me. I basked in the sun on the pavement as I skimmed over today’s Cape Times school project. It was cutely written and most notable was the article mentioning the fact that the Pope does not wear Prada, as previously reported. The Vatican responded to these claims and summerised with the quote, “The Pope, in summary, does not wear Prada, but Christ.” Interesting. Knowing how much money The Vatican has, one would assume this brand is something of a bespoked, high-end exclusive tailor. I’ve never seen any of Christ’s range, but will admit that The Pope certainly does have a dapper vibe going.

I hit the road and continued The Cape Town Super Circuit. It seems other people had not embraced this day in the same way as me, and the road was saturated with bad energy. Most notable was the unprecendented sighting of not one, but TWO pretty fierce road accidents. One outside Caprice and one outside the Sea Point pool. I think I know some people who haven’t been managing their karma very well.

Cop bike stuck under car
Not ideal

It’s just too Hectique! for me. These nasty Friday moments further enhanced my need for a car and driver. Of course, the notion would need to be followed through properly. I remembered today’s R750 million lottery jackpot and drove my car, possibly for the last time, directly to Future Exotics!

Whilst Cape Town’s number one coffee outlet, Vida e, has some outstanding views at the Camps Bay branch, I thoroughly enjoyed this view as I sipped a cappucino at the Future Exotics store at the Waterfront. I can confirm that I have found the first toy I will be buying once I’ve won the R750 million. I took a little pic for you. Please enjoy the Rolls Royce Phantom with me.

The 2008 Rolls Royce Phamtom
V12 7.6L
0-100km/h in 5.9sec

Mmm, I like that, and so will YOU when I pick you up in it. At only R4.4 million it would be foolish not to snap this up. I had a good look at this baby and noted the blinds inside the back windows. ACTUAL blinds. Old school. My style. The staff at Future Exotics were also VERY MUCH my style and I can confirm they have the hottest staff out of any shop in Cape Town. FACT. I’d definitely recommend stopping by for a coffee and a perve *ahem* of the cars.

That was more than enough. I finished my cappucino, skipped the rest of the Cape Town Super Circuit, came back to the Safe House and bought 5 more tickets to the lottery.

It’s been a good Friday..