It is beyond me that something is not being done about the prawn epidemic on a government level. For something that started in the coffee shops of Cape Town, to have spread across the globe as far as Japan, London, Venezuela and Putney, I think the urgency of the matter could never be greater.

Especially now that it has gone further than just big city centers, and moved to untouched places of beauty, including Malawi!

This from our intrepid 2oceansvibe Travel Writer, Tony B:

Dearest Seth

It is with deep concern and trepidation that I send you this information, as it has global consequences…

I recently had the great pleasure of a little sojourn to the idyllic beaches of lake Malawi, the warm heart of Africa.

Days were spent without a care, enjoying the sun, warm waters of the lake, smiling locals, Carlsberg greens, and of course the world famous Malawi gold.

One morning, while minding my own business on the beach, a shadow crept across the sand, blocking my sun. I looked up expecting to see my friend, Mr Fantastic, approaching with yet another cob that he had fetched from his grandfather who grew the best stuff way up in the mountains.

You can imagine my absolute horror when I raised my bloodshot eyes to meet the scaly gaze of a fully grown Malawian Prawn!

Now, being miles from the nearest tar road, and surrounded by soft cushioning sand, I had to assume that this was a new breed of Prawn, and nervously enquired it’s name. “Chicane Pisa” was the reply I got.

Confused, it took me a while to realise that this particular Prawn seemed to have tucked into the local gold himself and confused munchies with name, where he got it from I could not tell, as there was definitely no “chicken pizza” anywhere to be seen.
On his shirt he had the words “Ask me the million dollar que$tion”. I was stuck for words at that time, and it was only after he sauntered off that I realised what the million dollar question must be:

Read the rest of this entry »

Just cruising over the sand in funny shoes. It’s one thing taking off your helmets (ta) but, let’s face it, that doesn’t make it ok..

Not ideal – taking your overseas guests for a lunch and exposing them to a pair of balls on a sunny weekend.

Or your kids – let’s not forget about the kids out there.

Mark my words – in five years time the law will see this in the same light as flashing.

[thanks peter]

Cyclist Thrown Off Tour For Headbutting Rival - Australian Mark Renshaw paid the price for his team’s win-at-all-costs approach to the Tour de France 11th stage on Thursday when he was excluded from the race for headbutting. Iin the final 500 metres of the 184.5km stage from Sisteron, the normally affable Australian lost his head when he tried to headbutt Garmin-Transitions’ Kiwi lead-out man Julian Dean three times. [afp + video]

Bill & Hillary’s New $11Million House – Looks like Bill and Hillary Clinton are moving to this intense 7,000 square-foot house in the Westchester town of Bedford Hills. It’s got a stable and everything! The 20-acre property the Clintons are said to be buying comes complete with a totally useless pond/fountain, pool, wine cellar, and artist’s studio for whenever Bill feels like picking up the watercolors again. Check out the pics after the jump. Might need some redecorating .. [gawker]

Oil Stops Flowing Into Gulf For First Time – A happy milestone for the Gulf of Mexico: BP says oil has stopped gushing into the water for the first time since its rig exploded 3 months ago. “It’s too early to celebrate,” said exec Doug Suttles, noting that the company has hours of testing to conduct before determining for sure that its new cap will hold. Ja, don’t count your chickens before they hatch, my bru. [newser]

MTN Boss Gets R33Million - MTN Group shareholders approved a R33m windfall for outgoing boss Phuthuma Nhleko on Thursday. The settlement, which will be due in a once-off sum, is payable on April 1 2011 and is in respect of a three-year restraint of trade. This dwarfs the R7m paid to Alan Knott-Craig when he exited Vodacom Group in 2008. Yes it certainly does. But it’s still less than this weekend’s EuroLottery jackpots! [koos]

Dramatic Rise In “Smartphone” Car Radio Listenership – Radio listening via a ’smartphone’ is becoming ever more popular, according to figures released today by the organisation that monitors radio listening behaviour in the UK. Says RAJAR, some 20 per cent of smartphone owners – or 1.4 million people – have downloaded an application that enable them to listen to a radio service via their smartphone. Not surprising, given the FM signal is shutting down in 5 years in the UK. [allmediascot]

Apple Engineer Warned Steve Jobs About iPhone 4 Antenna – Well I tell you what I’m quite pleased I went for the iPad rather than the iPhone 4, at this stage of the game. Latest news on the antenna problems are that a top Apple Inc. antenna expert (kiff job) voiced concerns to Big Steve in the early phases of the iphone 4’s design process. He warned it might drop calls. Oh dear. Personally, I wouldn’t mind – I don’t do phone calls.. [bloomberg]

Pink Goes To Hospital After Stunt Goes Wrong – The 30-year-old singer, who is famous for her acrobatic stage routines, fell out of a harness high above the stage during a particularly difficult move as part of her Funhouse tour. Pink was then rushed off stage and taken to a nearby hospital by ambulance. However, the singer quickly took to her Twitter page to reassure fans who were left terrified by the dramatic accident. Cntd..[dailymail]

World Celebrates With Madiba – Anti-apartheid hero Nelson Mandela celebrates his 92nd birthday at home with his family on Sunday, just one week after the Soccer World Cup showed off the successes of democratic South Africa. “The man who has suffered so much and who, when he came out [of jail] set out to bring peace, solidarity and humanity, he had a dream, and his dream was to see the World Cup in his country,” Fifa president Sepp Blatter said this week. [mail&guardian]

Tycoon Will Pay French Burka Ban Fines – A French property tycoon enraged at his government’s plans to ban women from wearing the full veil in public has promised a fund of €1m (£830,000) to help any Muslim who is fined for wearing the niqab in the street.Rachid Nekkaz, a businessman of Algerian origin who launched a short-lived campaign in the 2007 presidential elections, has already put €200,000 into a bank account aimed at bailing out women who find themselves on the wrong side of the new law. [guardian]

In a First, Full-Sized Robo-Copter Flies With No Human Help – In mid-June, a single-turbine helicopter took off from a test field in Mesa, Arizona, avoided obstacles during flight, scoped out a landing site and landed safely. It’s the kind of flight choppers have made tens of thousands of times before. Except this time, the helicopter did it entirely on its own — with no humans involved. It was the first fully autonomous flight of a full-sized chopper, ever. Quite mean.. [wired]

David Cameron Condemns Dead Fugitive Sympathy – Facebook said it would resist MPs’ calls to remove a page set up in honour of Raoul Moat, the fugitive who shot his former girlfriend, her boyfriend and a police officer before killing himself after he went on the run for a week. David Cameron condemned public sympathy for Moat today and described the gunman as a “callous murderer”. General whinging on the mud island. Surely not? [guardian]

New Ford And GM Cars Will “Talk” To Google Maps – Google’s “Send-To-Car” feature lets users send destinations from Google Maps directly to their vehicles. This feature previously worked with BMW and Audi vehicles, and now Google has extended its partner base for the program to Ford and GM. We have the same thing in Cape Town that helps you find your way. We’ve had the techonology for quite some time here. It’s called “Table Montain.” [mashable]

Tracy Morgan Chats About Mel Gibson – Sandwiched in between talking about the quest to find his biological father and his new motorcycle, Morgan gave his thoughts on the seemingly endless supply of Mel Gibson rants. Explaining why the tapes are selling like hotcakes in Compton, Morgan joked, “Calling women b-tches and using the N-word. That ain’t nothing but hip-hop…He stole that concept from Lil’ Wayne.” [huffers]

Cycling fans out there must be rock-hard when looking at this pic of Lance Armstrong’s new helmet. And if not, they will be when I tell them that this new helmet gives Lance 20-30 grams less “drag.”

Lance Armstrong’s new helmet – picked up on Gizmodo website

Apparently:

[A concept] that has a short tail that tucks in the area between Armstrong’s scapulae. With a head-on wind, it’s slightly faster than Giro’s previous models, but in any crosswind condition, it’s considerably faster –- about 20 to 30 grams less drag. Also, the rider is able to move more easily with the helmet on.

That’s awesome! You know – if you’re into that kind of vibe.

For me, there was something even more awesome about the article I found on Gizmodo. And it wasn’t in the actual article, it was in the comments section.

Wanna know what it said?

HAAAAH! Beautiful..

Read the rest of the helmet story and the comments HERE.

People think I’m against ALL cyclists. Not true. It’s just the dicks I don’t enjoy. The guys who wear their helmets whilst dining at the table next to me. The 60 year old men who look like the aliens from District 9 (hence their nickname “prawns”) clearly exposing their balls under a thin layer of lycra. The pricks who ride through red lights – prompting kids to do the same when they get their new bike. Those are the kind of cyclists I’m after. They’re what we in the industry refer to as “assholes.”

Unlike this cyclist, who is just awesome.

Enjoy the water bottle holder

A quiet Black Label for the boys!

Beautiful!

[thanks ard]

It was one thing dealing with the prawn invasion taking over Cape Town and the world, as it is usually carried out with a humorous twist. But the notion of actual monks joining in on the action, and presenting their cause as some kind of holy war, does raise some major concerns.

We received the following, from a fellow 2oceasviber:

Howzit Seth,

Decided to take your slogan to the next level: in fact, screw ‘work is a sideline’ – work is non existent!

I quit my job in london, slapped on a backpack and have been cruising from India to Thailand. I’m currently in Japan, off to China in 10 days before heading home to SA for an EpicFierce diski dance vibe, but you probably knew this from reading all my updates on http://sharmanandhobbo.co.za/blog

Japanese Monk springs surprise public helmet attack

I spent today in a place called Nara and HAD to send this image to you ASAP! The prawns have intercepted the Japanese monks! Oh my word – it’s become a holy war! We’re all screwed!

Hope you’re having a rad time on your holi!

Chat soon
Cheers
Mike

Wow, thanks for that, Mike. I must say, it is incredibly alarming and certainly not something that we had ever comprehended! But now, in hindsight, it seems so obvious. The way they carry on in general society has all the hallmarks of a cult – it makes perfect sense that this would spiral into a flat-out religion of sorts. And now we see it developing from afar – in the East!

We should have seen this coming.

Be vigilant, people. Please, for our childrens’ sake.

The 2oceansvibers out there show their support in all sorts of ways. Some of them just drop an email from time to time, saying how much they enjoy the vibe, whilst others prefer to stalk and ask weird questions in public. Either way, I’ve got nothing but love for you, baby!

But then you get that special type of 2oceansviber, the one whose natural urge to give, completely overpowers them and they start creating something with their bare hands – to give to the vibe.

Take Shawn B, for example. Showing his true understanding of the deeper vibe, created this:

“All things bright and annoying..”

See what he did there? He took the nickname we have for cyclists, “prawns,” and dressed it up with all things annoying; including helmets and Crocs.

What a fantastic job, Shawn!

That’s going STRAIGHT to the poolroom!

This is probably the one you were looking for. Footage of Lance Armstrong at the beginning of the Argus, having a coffee with his team mate, trying to ignore the cops and manic fans all around. Followed by the start, the finish, and Lance hopping into a helicopter and disappearing into the sky. Because that’s how he rolls.

Enjoy the cameo by Helen Zille.

Wonderful stuff!

[thanks mike]

I popped into the breakfast banquet vibe at Constantia Uitsig on Thursday. Prawn-City, you might call it. Not that I mind – as long as there aren’t any pricks riding through red lights or dining with their helmets on – what’s not to like?

One-on-one:
Seven-time Tour de France champion, Lance Armstrong talks to ‘the voice of cycling’, Phil Liggett, about about his battle with cancer, memorable moments on his bike as well as this year’s Tour de France at the ‘Discovery Lance for Life Tour 2010′ breakfast in support of the JAG Foundation.

Lance Armstrong and Phil Liggett

Armstrong arrived in Cape Town on Monday to promote his ‘Discovery Lance for Life Tour 2010’. Now At the end of his tour, his Cape Town itinerary included a visit to Spine Road Secondary in Mitchell’s Plain, an exclusive banquet at Cape Town’s new Green Point stadium, cycling with South Africa’s top business personalities and a breakfast at Constantia Uitsig.

Phil Liggett, Darl Impey and Lance Armstrong

Local is lekker – Top South African cyclist, Daryl Impey joins seven-time Tour de France champion, Lance Armstrong and ‘the voice of cycling’, Phil Liggett, to discuss riding for Team RadioShack as well as his chances of winning this weekend’s Cape Argus Pick n Pay Cycle Tour at the ‘Discovery Lance for Life Tour 2010′ breakfast in support of the JAG Foundation.

England rugby international, Stuart Abbott MBE (2oceansvibe Character, The Inside Centre ) is very knowledgeable in the way of the prawn. Having lived in both Cape Town and London for many years, he can spot them a mile away, especially when it comes to the bad habits they exhibit, without a care in the world for us, the more considerate courteous citizens.

If they’re not carelessly cruising through red traffic lights, in full view of our children, or exposing their testicles (again, in full view of our children), another anti-social display of fuck-you-all-ness, is the annoying habit of leaving their alien-looking helmets on their heads when in a public commercial environment. Look at these fucking idiots.

Prawn freaks spotted in London

Dubbed “prawns,” with reference to the unwelcomed aliens in the movie, District 9, it is a shame that these few pests ruin it for the rest of the cyclists out there who choose to set a good example, by appreciating the other people in their immediate vacinity.

Can’t wait to see what Lance says about all of this..

I certainly won’t be missing an opportunity to meet the great man and hopefully raise our concerns and get his views on various cycling topics often raised here on 2oceansvibe. You know, from cycling through red traffic lights, to balls exposed in front of children and the wearing of cycling helmets whilst dinging.

But, you know, that’s just me..

That’s right, my friends, one of world history’s greatest sportsmen and champions, Lance Armstrong, is coming to Cape Town! His legacy covers so many facets, on and off the tarmac. Opportunities like this don’t often come around.

I’d keep reading if I were you..

Lance Armstrong comes to town – CLICK HERE

Check it out:

You snooze you lose – last minute bids open for ‘Discovery Lance for Life’ events

February 2010: With less than two weeks remaining till seven-time Tour de France champion, Lance Armstrong arrives in South Africa, local organisers have just revealed that six tables for the ‘Discovery Lance for Life’ events, are up for grabs through an exclusive blind bid.

The bidding opened on Monday, 22 February and will close on Tue, 02 March 2010. Bids start at R25, 000 for a table of eight at the banquet dinner and R15, 000 for a table of ten at the breakfast. Contact Nikki Ferreira on 079 895 0721 or nikki@jagfoundation.org.za to place your bids. The winners will be announced via Twitter on Wednesday 03 March.

[I'd suggest mentioning 2oceansvibe for special attention ]

In collaboration with leading local charity, the JAG Foundation, Lance will be in South Africa from 9 – 11 March to raise funds for the foundation and promote healthy living in South Africa. The remainder of Armstrong’s visit, from 12 – 14 March, will be dedicated towards training and preparation ahead of this year’s Tour de France as well as participation in the Cape Argus Pick n Pay Cycle Tour.

More details revealed (entertainment, venues and speakers)

On 9 March 450 guests will spend their evening with Lance and South Africa’s most celebrated sporting personalities at the Cape Town World Cup stadium in Green Point. Live entertainment will be provided by Sterling EQ, an all female electric quartet as well as Moreira Chonguica, an internationally renowned saxophonist. An interactive Q&A with Lance Armstrong and the international voice of cycling, Phil Liggett will follow shortly thereafter. The evening will conclude with an auction hosted by Christian Stewart where signed memorabilia with be sold.

The “Ride with Lance’ will be hosted on 10 March with top business and sports personalities embarking on a social 100 km ride with the cycling legend. In true Tour de France fashion, riders will be accompanied by helicopters, motorbikes, police escorts and receive technical assistance throughout the ride. The package includes accommodation, transport and dinner with Lance after the ride, a signed copy of his latest book – ‘My comeback: up and close’, DVD highlights of the Tour and a personalised coffee table book inclusive of images. The riders will also have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to spend one-on-one time with Lance on the day.

An 850 strong crowd will attend the breakfast function on 11 March at the Constantia Uitsig Vineyard. The audience will have an opportunity to listen to Lance’s life lessons as interviewed by Phill Ligett with special appearances from Rob Louw and Daryl Impey.

Tickets to the banquet and breakfast are sold out, but for a rare opportunity to bid for a table. Visit www.jagfoundation.org.za for more information.

Just give me that microphone, just for a second.

I dare you..

For those of you who haven’t been tracking the progress, I strongly suggest to get tuned in, because it’s all about to come to a head. No, not that kind of head.

Seriously, after two months and nearly 2,000km, Geoff Brink will unicycle into Cape Town later this week to complete The Heart and Sole Tour, an initiative conceived to raise awareness in southern Africa of the continuing devastation caused by landmines.

Brink and Howard Donaldson, the tour’s back-up driver and official blogger (see www.fredhatman.co.za), left Durban on December 28, 2009, and have defied intense heat, thunderstorms, hail, rugged terrain and lack of funding to achieve their objective on behalf of The Sole of Africa, a South Africa-based NGO committed to the removal of landmines in southern Africa and the upliftment of those affected by landmine explosions.

Geoff Brink, giving it a full go

Brink and Donaldson left Heidelberg in the Western Cape yesterday morning (Monday, Feb 22) on the last leg of the journey which should see them arriving at the Clock Tower at Cape Town’s V&A Waterfront on Friday afternoon (Feb 26) at the latest.

Brink, a freelance photographer based in Umdloti on the north coast of Kwazulu-Natal, has overcome severe knee pain, horrendous chafing of his upper thighs, occasional back spasms and broken “distance bars” (small handlebars used on long-distance unicycles), which have snapped three times to unicycle a record distance on a one-wheeled cycle in Africa.

He said: “This tour has been the most amazing thing I’ve ever done – and the hardest. This unicycle ride was far harder than doing my army training and that was hard enough! To be honest, I’m just hanging on at the moment and can’t wait to get finished to get back to Umdloti to my fiancee – we get married on May 8 – and our five dogs which I have missed terribly.”

“Yu, yu, yu!!”

The Heart and Sole Tour received funding from Rotary Umhlanga which also assisted in arranging accommodation in those towns where Rotary clubs exist. Although Brink and Donaldson were fairly well equipped to camp on the side of the road, not once did they have to do that. South Africans of every race and income group rallied behind them to provide free or discounted accommodation or food wherever they went.

“I’d like to thank all of those people who, when they found out what Howard and I were doing, went to such great lengths to help us find a bed and a good meal after a day’s riding. Not only is our country of South Africa unbelievably beautiful but so are our people. The generosity and support we received was just immense. I am proud to call myself a South African.”

“Apart from a couple of close shaves involving crazy drivers on the road, not once did we feel at risk of being harmed or affected by crime. What people should realise is that the vast majority of South Africans of every ethnic background are amazingly good people who will do anything to help others in need. I would never want to live anywhere else!”

Read more and spend time at one of my favourite local blogs, FredHatman.co.za

Unprecedented visuals here in Cape Town, as the nature of the prawn is, once again, under further analysis.

This incredible report filed by Paul M:

Dear Seth

I was happily fighting the last few minutes of bottlenecked traffic on Kloofnek, homebound to Camps Bay this afternoon at around 17h30.

Crawling in 1st gear after I had managed to shift myself from the double lane into the single lane, something suddenly overtook me with pace, on my left, and caught my eyes….

Initially I almost shat myself, as I wasn’t expecting any movement (vehicles, motorbikes or scooters) to be coming up on the left, as traffic was now officially hurded into the single lane.

Hello! What’s this?

With my airconditioned knuckles, I rubbed a conbination of amazement, and disbelief, from my eyes…. regained some focus…. and sat with my jaw on the car floor, witnessing what seemed to be an Unidentified Cycling Prawn, athletically maneuvering itself up the steep hill, on what appeared to be a piece of extreme circus equipment!!!

Can I help you?

Was anyone else there for the unusual “sighting”?

Yours flabbergasted,

Paul Moolman
Cape Town

Unbelievable scenes there on Kloof Nek, Paul. Thanks for sharing that with us.

I think we should all take that on board and just go home and think about it.

What does this mean for us, as a city.

As a PEOPLE?

We have documented proof from all over the world, of prawns wearing their cycling helmets indoors. Venezuela is no different, my friends. Just because you go abroad, doesn’t mean these attacks will stop.

This recent account from a 2oceansviber tells a sad tale, as we witness the carnage occurring across the globe.

When will it stop?

When will our children be safe?

When will we all realise how fragile this life is?

Hey Seth,

My eyes have been corrupted and seen pure evils spread across the globe.
So Here I am in Venezuela, trying to check out all these Miss Universes that this place seems to have growing on trees.

However, I saw a prawn that probably was 3 Prawns in one!
You could see that this prawn was very comfortable in its new environment. Also taking it to another level of not just coffee shops, but attacking Shawarma take outs in shopping malls.

Click pic to enlarge

Click pic to enlarge  

Please note that this images has not been altered in anyway.

People may question such evils, but its true, get the professionals to analyze the images for any kind of manipulation.

Oh BTW man, also another evil which is quit dominant, is the high volume of Croc attacks here. Its amazing to see a beauty queens wearing these things.

The force of the Prawns is very strong here and I am sure to find a Prawn with crocs in Venezuela.

Peace bro to da max

Shawn B

Amazing how you captured those two moments in such a hostile environment! The second shot includes such a treat, in the form of our boy at the counter. He is throwing an impossible vibe there – such absolute awesomeness!

Thank you for this important *cough* heads-up.

As cycling chaos continues on the roads of Cape Town, seemingly reaching it’s peak as avid cyclists are even seen to be turning on each other, 2oceansvibe has found and wants to show the more chilled alternative to the excessive aggression, exposing one’s balls, , illegal activity,  prawn behaviour and complete disregard for the rest of society displayed on and off our roads.

I’m referring to the vibe I first showed you during my June/July 2009 trip to Los Angeles. When we dominated Venice Beach and Marina del Rey on our beach cruiser bicycles. So chilled… and so suited to the Cape Town 2oceansvibe lifestyle.

That was when the seed was planted – we desperately needed beach cruiser bicycles in Cape Town!

To fill you in:

Cruiser bicycles, also known as beach cruisers, combine balloon-tires, upright seating posture, single-speed mechanicals, straightforward steel construction — with expressive styling. The bikes, noted for their durability and heavy weight, were the most popular bicycle in the United States from the early 1930s through the 1950s — and enjoyed renewed popularity since the late 1990s. [more]

Taken in Los Angeles last year
The Advertising Guy ties up his bike before grabbing a brekkie..

I wanted to get some of the same bikes to Cape Town, so that I could enjoy cycling the way most of us would prefer – leisurely. I checked on the net and couldn’t find the right ones. Or rather, couldn’t find anyone able to export them to South Africa. And if they could, there were massive import charges to incur.

That’s when I placed my index fingers on either side of my temple and closed my eyes. I imagined the bikes in Cape Town and I imagined myself cycling leisurely along the pavement from Camps Bay to the Waterfront and back, with my hat on and some tunes coming from my iPod speaker strapped to the bike.

That was a few months ago and I can now confirm that dreams do come true. Some of you would have spotted the Olympic Cycles ads that have been running on 2oceansvibe. Well those are the bikes! They cost hardly anything so I ordered two – one for me and one for The Muse and they arrived on Christmas day!

Check it out!!! It’s called the Silverback “Casablanca!” – a fucking cool name for a fucking cool bike!

CLICK BIKES to enlarge..

The Silverback Casablanca!

Pink, with leather handles and tassles..
For the angels..

Hey, are those not the exact bikes you’ve been looking for? Yes they are, my friend! And they’re even better than the original beach cruiser bikes because they’ve got gears (full specs here). Not that you need them because you’re so goddamn laid back and won’t be going faster than a canter!

It’s a given that Cape Town as a whole is somewhat “hilly” and not conducive to full time cycling, but I tell you what…. I have found just the route..

We got on the bikes at the end of Camps Bay, near the police station, and rode on the pavement the whole way to the V&A Waterfront and back. I installed a bell on each bike and we would ring way ahead of time, if it looked like we would get in anyone’s way. The ride was so chilled and cool, and no-one gave us a hard time. In fact, the majority of the reactions were people asking us where to get the bikes!

Click image to zoom in on my vibe..

You’re not really allowed to ride on the Sea Point promenade (above pic) and a helpful road marshall confirmed that we would be absolutely fine on the pavement (same side of Beach Road as the promenade, just on the other side of the grass) – which was just as cool to glide along.

We popped into the Woolies along the way and got some dinner, as we made use of the all new bike/walking/jogging track built alongside Green Point’s Main Road and World Cup stadium. It runs from the Sea Point Library (bottom of Glengarriff Road) all the way to the Cape Town Traffic Department.

Check it out – very cool..

The Green Point promenade!
Brand new 4km stretch for walking/jogging/cycling

Honestly, between that and the Mouille Point stretch from the lighthouse to the Waterfront, you’re spoilt for choice.

CLICK HERE to get your own Cape Town beach cruiser bicycle and further enhance the holiday you’re living.

Still got a 9-to-5 job? Hmm, best you check out 2oceansvibe Jobs and sort that out pronto!

You can tell I was caught off guard as Bicycling Magazine editor, Mike Finch (Fincheeeey! – bloody good rep!) took me from behind in the Claremont Vida e.

Check it out:

We’re getting there, guys.

Slowly but surely..

[thanks mike]

It seems the prawns are moving further and further away from District 9, as my Saturday morning was punctuated with prawn activity. I was leaving Pick ‘n Pay in Camps Bay and had to slam on the brakes as a large group of them on bicycles came speeding through a red traffic light. I noticed a man walking out of the Pick ‘n Pay with his son – the little boy pointing at the prawns. The prawns didn’t care as they exercised their usual COMPLETE disregard for the laws we, as humans, have created in order to maintain a functioning society.

Prawns – blatant disregard for human law
As they force co-existence upon us

I have one question : Will this lawlessness only be addressed when children start being knocked over, as they attempt to re-enact what they’ve seen the prawns doing on the roads?

This “fuck you” attitude displayed by some of the prawns (and I stress “some” of them, who ruin it for the rest) continued at Caprice where prawns were spotted climbing all over the furniture with their damaging “clip-shoe” footwear.

The “fuck you” attitude displayed by prawns
in human society continues.

I’m not sure how things work in District 9, but here in the human areas and among our own, we have a very clear understanding about manners and general etiquette. At a very basic level, we obey traffic signals, and we don’t stand on furniture. You need to adhere to these basics – if you wish to coexist. Especially when it comes to bicycles.

A bicycle is the first mode of transport for most human children. They cannot wait to get their first bicycle and probably can’t wait to have the ability to go through red traffic lights, like they see the “adults” (prawns) doing on the road.

Why do you let them do it? Why do you just sit in your car and shake your head? Why don’t you hoot at them? Why don’t you wind down your window and ask them to please stop?

I guess we’ll just have to wait for a child to get hurt before this is addressed.

What are your thoughts?

INCREDIBLE scenes over the weekend outside Vida e in Green Point, as we see a “prawn” approaching a car guard.

A “prawn” approaches a car guard
outside Vida e, Green Point

The car guard is not quite sure about that prawn – as we notice continued multi-species integration on the streets of Cape Town – so very far away from District 9.

With the prawns’ relentless disregard for law, including blatant red traffic light violations, how much longer can society and the police afford to turn a blind eye?

I didn’t give this much of a chance when it was sent in to me. But then I did, and I was pleased.

2oceansvibe’s relationship with non-A-to-B-transportation related cycling and cyclists is a torrid and well-documented vibe, a lot of which can be seen in graphic detail in our much celebrated and aptly named “CYCLING” section (here).

It therefore makes absolute perfect sense that we publish this wonderful music video made by a cyclist for, what looks like, non-cyclists. Although I’m sure the hard-core red-traffic-light-shooting brethren out there will have a little chuckle to themselves as well.

Whatever camp you’re in, you’re bound to enjoy it.

What did I tell ya?

As my buddy’s at Watkykjy would say, that was “kak” funny.

[thanks warren]

A horrified Justin L just sent this in. It seems not even Sainsbury’s stores are safe from helmet attacks..

Where does it end?

Hey Seth

I was cruising around the Putney Sainsburys yesterday, pretty idle thursday, nothing crazy, when I turned a corner into the bread aisle and got hit with this..

Justin L

And she seems like such a normal girl. Possibly even intelligent and/or attractive..

God, what a waste!

See other cycling helmet attack articles here. Help us put a stop to this madness.

In by far the most interesting news I’ve found on iol (ie. REUTERS) in quite some time, this article may well be all you need to get you through your miserable day.

Check it out:

Brothel offers discounts for cyclists

Berlin – A Berlin brothel has come up with a novel way to negate the impact of the global economic crisis and target a new group of customers at the same time – offering a discount to patrons who arrive on bicycles.

 

 

“The recession has hit our industry hard,” said Thomas Goetz, owner of the “Maison d’envie” brothel.

“Obviously we hope that the discount will attract more people,” he added.

“It’s good for business, it’s good for the environment – and it’s good for the girls.”

Customers who arrive on bicycle or who can prove they took public transportation get a €5 discount from the usual €70 fee for 45 minute sessions, Goetz told Reuters.

He said the environmentally friendly offer was working.

“We have around 3-5 new customers coming in daily to take advantage of the discount,” he said, adding the green rebate has helped alleviate traffic and parking congestion in the neighbourhood.

Germany is one of the few countries in the world where prostitution is legal. It has about 400 000 prostitutes who, since 2002, have been allowed to enter formal labour contracts. – Reuters

[source:iol]

Now you can cycle to the village bicycle!

I think the question on everybody’s mind is, will the cyclists have the common decency to remove their helmets before they frequent the establishment in question?

I doubt it.

More about the ongoing cycling helmet issue here.

[thanks peter]

Cycling helmet attacks in the Southern Suburbs and beyond are a rarity – a rarity that surely adds to the draw of that particular semi-rural lifestyle.

Well that’s all changing now, as the helmet attacks in public spaces are becoming more and more common that side of the mountain.

This revolting display was taken at the Vida e at Constantia Village.

Hi, Space Boy!

Why would you be so in our faces?

Why do you find it necessary to draw so much attention to yourself? Are your exposed balls not enough as it is?

Why is your skin so thick that you don’t realise you are making a spectacle of yourself?

Why? Why would you do that?

[thanks clint]