Dave Van Vuuren, who is of the belief that his music will indeed change the world, got on stage and began his set. Being a corporate gig, the crowd was generally involved in chat-chat during his live performance. Being an artist, Dave become more and more upset as the night went on. After a good five or six songs he had had enough. Dave threw the microphone on the ground, berated the audience, telling them that they were “more interested in their BBMs than listening” to him. Needless to say Samsung phones don’t have BBM – that’s a Blackberry thing.

Not ideal.

As if it’s not bad enough suffering a broken ego, several bruises, and a broken cheekbone, M-Net has now also “reprimanded” Idols contestant Freddie Van’Dango. He drank alcohol on Friday night, tuned a DJ and was then apparently assaulted by a cage fighter. He claims he never raised so much as a fist himself, but does concede to having a “quick mouth and a rocker mentality.”  He also admitted that the evening partying with his friends spiraled out of control, and regrets the way in which it all ended.

Here’s his Facebook status on the subject:

I can confirm that I did drink with my friends and even though I have a quick mouth and a rocker mentality, I do believe violence is utterly unacceptable in any situation. It’s not a way to fix anything or to ‘teach someone a lesson.’ I never raised a fist or fought back and want to be very clear about this.

M-Net had the following to say:

M-Net shares Freddie’s stance on violence and has used the unfortunate incident to remind the contestants of the way Idols are regarded as role models and the responsibilities and challenges that come with leading a life in the limelight. M-Net has reprimanded Freddie.

Freddie has decided not to press criminal charges and prefers to focus on his Idols performances and music career for now.

M-Net has offered Freddie, as well as all the contestants, the support of a psychologist to come to terms with this unusual Idols situation, as well as to address the pressures that come with being in a competition of this nature.

A bout of flu broke out in the Idols house last week. To help “lift their spirits” the contestants were given permission to go out in public on Saturday night – without supervision. Apparently Freddie van’Dango was in such good spirits after a while that he tuned a DJ and got his arse kicked by a “cage fighter” in the process.

An eyewitness describes what happened:

Van’Dango was seen outside a bar in Greenside, Johannesburg, where he waved to fans. Later, in the early hours of Saturday morning, he and a friend reportedly became involved in an altercation with the DJ of a bar about the music he was playing. He and one of his friends went and had words with the DJ. They [Van'Dango and his friend] started screaming and shouting. Another man, who is said to be a cage fighter, decided to intervene. A fight ensued and all the people involved in the fight were asked to leave. The fight reportedly continued in the street in front of the bar, and Van’Dango was seriously injured. Freddie and his friends picked a fight with the wrong people.”

Apparently he was injured so badly that there is a chance he won’t appear on this evening’s results show.

M-Net spokesman, Lani Lombard, explains:

We are taking our cues from the doctor to see whether Freddie will be able to attend the Idols results show tonight. The doctor has already confirmed that Freddie should be fit to sing in the next round.

[Source: Times Live]

The video is above – so just press play to get that going. And for those of you who wish to replicate this monumental dish, below if the recipe – as well as the before pic!

Seth’s Mum’s Roast Summer Veggie Dish

2 Aubergines not big fat ones but long slimmer ones if possible
5 Ripe firm Roma tomatoes
4 Courgettes ( baby marrows ) if possible round ones not sure if you can get
in SA otherwise big one so that all the veg is about the same diameter.
Whole head of garlic
Small bunch of Rosemary broken into little sprigs.
Nomu Veggie Rub
1/3 cup Olive oil

Slice all the veg in rings, layer them alternating from the outside until
you end up in the centre where you place the Garlic, add the sprigs of
Rosemary in between the veg, look at my photo.
Sprinkle liberally with Nomu Veggie rub, drizzle with olive oil
Roast open in an oven temp 200 C for an hour.
Keep an eye on it as it may dry out, if it looks dry drizzle with more
olive oil.

Viola!

Stunning. Just stunning!

Head on through to Top Billing‘s website for this and other exciting recipes! I have another one waiting for you there – so be sure to check out my chicken skewers and tomato salad recipe.

GREAT for summer braais!

CLICK HERE for the Top Billing website

And remember to tune-in to Top Billing every Thursday on SABC 3 at 19h30.

Boy, that was fun. She was our Paula Abdul. The drunk. The single judge who could always be counted on to do something unscripted and rash at around the 40 minute mark of every episode.

If we’re honest with ourselves deep down in the pit of our livers, we’ll concede that we never watched the South African installment of Idols for the music, if at all.

After we achieved a modicum of respectability on the vocal front with Heinz “Blue Jeans ‘n Boots” Winkler, we stopped sucking in our stomach, so to speak, and we’ve been delivering a sloppy mass of gut to the nation in every subsequent season.

So we turned to the judges – they became the de facto stars of the show. They were biopic characters appearing on our screens and in our minds every week, whose parts were broken into soundbyte shards and spread across episodes, all apart, yet somehow inexorably linked to a similar, terrible fate: another season.

But the keystone in that narrative steps out with Mara.

Gareth is fun, sure, but now that we’re acclimatized to his dry humour and tar-tinted lenses, is there anything left to talk about? Randall Abrahams?

…

… … …

…

Woah! I drifted off there.

Back to the point: conversation. That’s what these shows are for, surely? They give us conversational fodder for the office, the braai, the gym, the weekly masons meeting – that sort of thing.

And that’s what I’m concerned about.

Mara is gone (not fired, I’ll have you know – she would have needed to have had an actual contract with Mnet to be fired), and with her the boozy exploits, the face-palmingly embarrassing quips, the fake Louis Vitton jackets. And in her stead is a relatively unknown, but by all accounts thoroughly decent human being, Unathi Msengena.

If Idols were serious about replacing Mara, rather than merely filling a vacancy, they would have stopped at nothing short of one Steve Hofmeyr, who is also highly skilled in the art of confidently speaking in public without his ideas-filter on. Hofmeyr, while not widely renowned for his public drinking habits, is an addict of a different kind. And with more progeny than Abraham, one can only assume that his addiction is hard to bear.

With that said, Steven Hofmeyr is a ruddy pink at the best of times, and his presence on the far right of the judges’ table would merely serve to upset the global Pop Idols franchise judge demographic policy, which requires at least three different flesh tones. If you can get more than three tones out of three people, you’ve nailed best practice.

I’m sorry, Unathi, but if you’re going to be respectful, considerate, kind, and constructively critical of the talent (I use the word liberally) before you, then we simply do not want you.

You must understand – the only way we can face up to the mediocre production value of our television in this country is to blame the people who make it. Don’t make us take a look in the mirror, Unathi. You’ve got to be loud. You’ve got to be belligerent and drunk. Don’t make us ask that hard question.

Don’t force us on to that conversation amongst friends.

You know which one, Unathi.

Where the hell are all the stars hiding in this country?

Mara Louw admitted yesterday in an interview on Talk Radio 702 that she was as soaked as a medieval torch during filming for the latest episode of Idols.

This is only news in the sense that it is now verifiable fact, and not public knowledge alone.

Meanwhile, Gareth Cliff came out strongly against Louw’s behaviour during the show. “Adults must take responsibility for their actions. She’s like Paula Abdul,” he tweeted.

So if she’s like Paula Abdul, then he must be…? Right? Right?

Incorrect, you are not South Africa’s Simon Cowell. Very clever angle, though, Gareth.

All things considered, Louw may have been drunk during that interview, so that admission should be taken with a pinch of salt. And a little lemon.

[Source : Sowetan]

So, some of you may have noticed, some of you not, that the sixth South African season of the least-successfully exported show of all time, Idols, has crawled it’s tawdry way on to our television screens.

You have to give it to the Idols producers. They must be rimming someone with a corner office at Mnet, because season five was a cock-up of cosmic proportions.

Not only was the show as remarkable as the colour grey, but Alexander Forbes managed to bugger up the vote count, despite pegging counting as their area of expertise, and “judge” Dave Thompson emigrated the day after the finale – evidently in shame.

So you’d expect the bigwigs at Mnet to demand a resignation, or the mother of all comeback plans, right? Here’s what they got:

The new season of Idols gets going with four 90 minute audition episodes in which the country’s best, worst, and downright craziest singers queue at venues around the country to impress the show’s notorious high-profile judges: Mara Louw, Randall Abrahams and Gareth Cliff. These episodes première on M-Net on Sundays at 17:30, but can also be seen on MagicWorld on Mondays at 16:30 and on M-Net Series on Saturdays at 11:00.

To add spice – and an extra pair of trained ears – to the auditions, the judges are joined by a new celebrity guest judge in each audition city: Kahn from The Parlotones, HHP, Loyiso Bala, Zolani from FreshlyGround and Steve Hofmeyr!

OK, so the show is minus the only moderately credible judge it had, with the addition of Kahn “Don’t Judge Me” Morbee and Steve “Die Pompmasjien” Hofmeyr?

Perhaps it would be better they hired these pigeons to do the judging job.

Kings of Leon have been forced to cancel a gig after pigeons showered them with excrement.

The band walked off the stage at the Verizon Wireless Ampitheater, in St Louis, MO, after three songs because of birds in the building’s rafters.

Drummer Nathan Followill tweeted: “So sorry St Louis. We had to bail, pigeons s****ing in Jared’s mouth and it was too unsanitary to continue. FULL REFUNDS 4 ALL. SO SORRY. Don’t take it out on Jared, it’s the f***ing venue’s fault. You may enjoy being s**t on but we don’t. Sorry for all who travelled many miles.”

I’d totally watch that show. Nice big pigeon dump in your eye for foul singing. Also, they might produce comparatively constructive criticism, as opposed to the usual mix of drool, valium shrieks and suppressed homo-erotic rage we’re used to.

Oh, and Randall, you still owe Seth a fight.

[Source : Monsters&Critics]

“World first” – as in they’ve now got two winners. But, in actual fact, it’s a World First in terms of monumental botch they have made.

This was their press release:

In a world first in the history of Idols, South Africa has two. Due to the unusual circumstances surrounding the SMS voting process during the final show on Sunday, 03 May.

M-Net and FremantleMedia, the format owners, have agreed that both Sasha Lee Davids and Jason Hartman are declared winners.

Says Patricia Scholtemeyer, CEO of M-Net: “M-Net’s Idols Season V was an
unprecedented success and the public participation throughout the season was phenomenal. For the first time, the voting public had 100% say in the outcome of the competition to decide the winner. Therefore, every vote counted and it was imperative that the votes were counted accurately.

“When M-Net realised that not all the SMS votes cast before the cut-off time at 18:05 had been received and accounted for, we immediately began corrective action to understand fully the true situation. Following the recount, It turned out that there were 1,3 million votes for Jason and 1,1 million votes for Sasha Lee, which is evidence of the immense public following that both our Idols winners have garnered during the course of the competition.”

The final week’s voting period ran from Monday, 27 April at 19:30 until Sunday, 03 May till 18:05 during the final live show. When the votes had been verified after the cut-off time on Sunday evening, Sasha Lee was the winner. However, when the regular post-show internal analysis was conducted the following morning, it became apparent that an unusual amount of SMS votes that had been sent in before the 18:05 cut-off time, had not been received and thus included in this result.

M-Net management took action and called in KPMG to independently conduct a recount and verify the actual results. As a result of this process, it has emerged that Jason did in fact receive more votes than Sasha Lee.

“This competition is driven by the public’s vote. While we acknowledge that this was not a scenario that we had expected or wanted, we are delighted with the outcome as both Jason and Sasha Lee are true Idols. We will be following their careers closely and with great interest,” concludes Scholtemeyer.

Amazing how they had to call in KPMG (as we recommended earlier) to check on Alexander Forbes – the company they made such a scene about live on screen, with regards to the professionalism surrounding the counting process and systems.

Today, in an equally panic-stricken move, Alexander Forbes sent out the following internal memo:

Re: Idols

There has been a lot of coverage in the media regarding the Idols final held on Sunday night.

This note is to explain that Alexander Forbes’ role on the night of any Idols Results show is to perform two basic functions:

To ensure that the number of votes received by the close of voting are those used to determine the result;

To ensure and verify that based on the votes received, the correct person is eliminated from the show, or declared the winner.

On 3 May 2009 both these functions were performed by Alexander Forbes correctly. However it has come to light that there were a significant number of votes received after the 18h05 cut off time and this is being investigated by M-Net, who have appointed KPMG as independent auditors. KPMG have been appointed to audit MNET’s entire process as this is service that Alexander Forbes does not provide. Please note that KPMG are not auditing our involvement or processes.

In their review KPMG found that Alexander Forbes acted properly and came to the same conclusion as us regarding the winner with the information available to us based on the votes received at the official close at 18h05 on Sunday.

M-Net are holding a press conference at 13h00 today (Friday) where they will announce their findings regarding the status of the winner which may have changed based on the additional votes received after the 18h05 cut off on Sunday night which were included in their re-count. Alexander Forbes will be represented at the briefing and will answer ant questions relating to our involvement to ensure there is no question we have acted improperly.

Tim Morgan

Head: Strategy and Communication

Blah blah blah.

Ja, Tim. Whatever.

This is the biggest embarrassment in South African television history.

Case closed.

Let’s break it down. This, from News24:

Cape Town – M-Net has announced that they have begun to audit votes for Idols because of “system problems“.

“The moment we were alerted to possible system problems, we contacted the mobile network operators to request additional data, which could be verified by independent auditors,” said Theo Erasmus, Channel Director: General Entertainment of M-Net SA in a statement.

The winner of the fifth season of the reality show is determined by public vote and several News24 users reported that their votes – particularly for Jason – didn’t go through.

M-Net said that “an unprecedented number of votes were received for the two finalists, Sasha Lee Davids and Jason Hartman”, but discovered that many SMS votes were received after the cut-off time on Sunday evening.

[more here]

But if I remember correctly there was a massive song and dance about the incredibly amazing Alexander Forbes who were handling the auditing of the Idols votes. It was quite ridiculous actually. They even mentioned the guy’s name as he came on stage with the envelope – you could have sworn he was from the IEC.

Now from where I’m sitting, the very minimal that Alexander Forbes had to do for their paid-for exposure, was count votes and to ensure the integrity of the voting process. That’s why you get auditors – they check the systems and processes involved in accumulating the data. Right?

And now you’re telling me that a television company has spotted a glitch in the system which the auditors didn’t?

That doesn’t sound right?

Maybe they were only worried about getting paid, rather than doing their job?

One can’t help but recall Alexander Forbes’s last scandal, involving the misappropriation of pension funds a couple years back. Something reminiscent of the recent Madoff balls up. This, from Personal Finance:

A major retirement fund administrator skimmed off millions of rands in ‘secret profits’ at the expense of funds and, ultimately, members’ benefits.

Dual London- and Johannesburg-listed financial services company Alexander Forbes, which is one of the country’s biggest administrators of retirement funds, has become the subject of major investigations into the “not lawful” plundering of retirement fund savings.

This week, Peter Martin, a former actuary, and Neil van Hees, the former marketing director of an asset management company associated with Alexander Forbes, appeared in leg irons in the Johannesburg Commercial Court following a four-year investigation into pension fund fraud totalling R213 million. They were both employed by Alexander Forbes at the time the alleged offences took place in the 1990s.

The two were arrested along with other top people in the financial services industry, including Aubrey Wynne-Jones, who heads another significant retirement fund administration company, Wynne-Jones & Company. More arrests, including other former senior staff of Alexander Forbes, are likely to follow.

The investigations also involve other major companies, including Old Mutual, its subsidiary, Nedbank, and Sanlam, although the extent of their involvement is not known to Personal Finance at this stage. There has been no suggestion that they were involved in criminal activity.

And a separate six-month-long investigation by Personal Finance has confirmed that Alexander Forbes has been “not lawfully” making “secret profits” from about 950 retirement funds (with millions of members) that it administers on behalf of many companies in South Africa.

Alexander Forbes has been attempting to keep the scandal of the “not lawful” profits out of the public eye and away from the scrutiny of retirement fund trustees by reaching secret settlements, involving tens of millions of rands, with retirement funds that uncovered the “not lawful” activities.

Personal Finance can reveal that for many years Alexander Forbes was making “secret profits” at the expense of retirement funds and, ultimately, at the expense of members’ retirement benefits. And to exacerbate the situation, Alexander Forbes continued to do so for at least two years after it received legal opinion in August 2002 that the practice was “not lawful”.

[more here]

And this, from Noseweek:

The “reassignment” of members’ reserves was pioneered by a company called Alexander Forbes – yes, the same company that has recently been caught enriching itself at the expense of pension fund members by using a process called “bulking”. In the early 1980s, under the direction of managers/owners such as Graham Kerrigon, Alexander Forbes were able to convince most of the captains of industry that by allowing Alexander Forbes to manage their company pension funds they would be able to release billions of rands that the company could use for its own agendas – a veritable trove of pension contraband.

A whole new pension fund “industry” was born.

Thanks to the illusions created by Alexander Forbes, millions of working South Africans, ignorant of these machinations, agreed to sign away huge chunks of their pension benefits, believing their best interests were being looked after and guarded by the Actuarial Society of South Africa, the Financial Services Board, the trustees and the auditors.

Suddenly, more than R200-billion started to “grow on trees”. Conflicts of interest were ignored, and good governance was thrown to the wind by the custodians of working people’s retirement benefits. Professional integrity became the joke of the day. As in a drunken orgy, enhanced profits and reduced company liabilities materialized out of nowhere. Trustees, many of whom were on company incentive schemes as executive directors, began receiving “very special” enhancements to their packages and retirement benefits. The deafening silence was sickening. Those paid to protect members’ best interests, the actuaries the trustees, the lawyers and the auditors, just rubber-stamped the obscene frenzy of predators. Ministers of finance, the previous pension fund adjudicator and the FSB, all looked on in silence, apparently awed by the scale of the exercise and the expertise of the rogues.

[more here]

It makes sense that a show like Idols which was a shambles from the start, should employ an “independent” auditing company drenched in scandal. Save for Gareth Cliff, the country is unanimous (we’ll get KPMG to check this one) in agreement that the judges were the most unprofessional choices, with their own little scandals erupting throughout the competition.

Back to these two dears. Latest reports (here) tell us that both finalists are now receiving counseling.

Sasha Lee, look at me. Now listen carefully, my angel. Get a good lawyer and milk these clowns. Do it now.

Jason, if you were smart, you would pick up the phone, call KPMG and urgently put together an ad campaign which will be hailed as “genius” for years to come.

Personally, I don’t really care about who won what. What I do care about is the fact that South African television is missing out on so much good content and quality productions due to the tangled mess of red tape, in-fucking and back scratching which results in below par dumbed-down TV shows with the wrong people involved and even worse people in charge.

It’s a very sad state of affairs.

Cape Town – Idols judge Dave Thompson is unemployed and has left South Africa.

 

Not happy..

 

Thompson, who was the marketing director at Sony BMG has emigrated to Australia.

Helen Smit, the head of M-Net’s local production, said if there was another season of Idols, Thompson would have to be replaced.

Beeld was informed that Thompson wanted to emigrate to Australia sooner and he would initially only have appeared in the first auditions.

He then stayed until the end of the series and left for Australia the day after the last episode.

[more here]

Ja, look, he didn’t look very happy. You can see he doesn’t like it here.

It should also be mentioned that we broke this story right here on 2oceansvibe on February 16.

And now it’s come true.

Such is my love for you.

[thanks stuart]

For those of you that didn’t get to the article (here), it was in response to a challenge laid down to me by Idols judge, Randall Abrahams.

CLICK HERE to see the original post. Or skip straight to the video below to watch the message to Randall:

I’ll down a beer on video if that gets to 100,000 views..

CLICK HERE for the full range of Idols related posts.

I sent with it the words, “Haaaahahahaha” which was what I was doing at the time – completely hosing myself.

Who are you?

Aah ja – good old Mara. The oh-so-accomplished singer who we had never heard of before Idols. And by “WE,” I mean “WE.” My white friends, my black friends, my red-head friends, my poor friends, my rich friends, my bald friends, my religious friends, my handicapped friends, my gay friends, my cyclist friends.. NO ONE had heard of this “incredibly respected artist” before. Not that this means she hasn’t accomplished anything – I just wonder why you wouldn’t choose someone the majority of the viewers KNOW? Would Clegg be too obvious? Or Carstens? Mandoza? Christ, I’d take Danny K above a nobody.

Anyway…

It was because of that, that a reader emailed me and asked if I had ever seen the old video from a year or two ago of Mara losing her mind on Idols. Obviously I had – it plays automatically every time I boot up my machine.

But I realised there was a good chance that you hadn’t seen it. So here it is. Just enjoy it and excuse the fact that the sound is completely out of sync.

Whaaah! Stunning stuff!

Click here to follow 2oceansvibe on Twitter.

[thanks werno]

Hey? Surely not, guys.

You wouldn’t balls it up THAT badly, would you?

Supersport reports (including title screenshot with date):

The impact of the Indian Premier League has been felt around the cricketing world, and it has now reached even further after M-Net’s decision to screen the action in place of hit-show Idols.

M-Net has released the following statement:

“With the IPL cricket tournament arriving in South Africa in April, the Idols final will now be postponed until June as M-Net has decided to devote the Sunday and Monday Idols timeslots to the highly exciting sporting spectacle.

Say ‘later’ to Liezel and ‘howzit’ to Shilpa Shetty; ‘ciao’ to the wannabe singing stars and ‘hola’ to some of the planet’s most established sporting superstars; ‘goodbye’ to Idols and ‘hello’ to the IPL – for a month-and-a-half at least: pay TV broadcaster M-Net is interrupting the Idols season to bring its viewers the mouthwatering Indian Premier League cricket tournament, which was moved to South Africa last week after security concerns in its home country.

While it’s a drastic move by M-Net that effectively shifts the Idols final back to mid-winter, Head Of Local Content Helen Smit feels that it’s justified in light of all that the tournament offers. “Like Idols, the IPL is colourful and glamorous and has an energy that’s very appealing to all generations,” she says. “It was a difficult decision to make but M-Net feels that the lure of watching some of the biggest Stars in sports in a high-adrenaline form of the game is worth postponing Idols for.”

Head Of Supersport, Imtiaz Patel, echoed her sentiments. “The IPL is bringing the best players and biggest personalities in the game of cricket to our country: huge names like Andrew Flintoff, Kevin Pietersen, Chris Gayle and Shane Warne. The 20/20 format tends to provide some nailbiting matches and has proved to be appealing to an audience that wasn’t necessarily watching cricket previously. We’re thrilled at Supersport that M-Net have decided to cast the viewing net even wider by broadcasting these big games.”

The interruption happens at the Top 4 stage of the Idols competition. The remaining 4 Idols will be allowed to return home for this period and will stay in the public eye through various PR ventures, appearances and interviews – these details will be made available as soon as they are confirmed.

The Idols timeslots will now be occupied by the following matches and highlights packages:

[more here]

If this is an April Fool’s joke then it is surely one of the most emboerrissing displays of mis-timing that I have ever come across in my life; and I urge the person that published the document to issue a letter of apology and resign.

It’s the right thing to do.

You fool.

[thanks ryan]

UPDATE : Keep track of all April Fool jokes around the world here

[thanks jonty - via twitter, nogal!]

Check, check, check it out (source – iol):

Idols, hitting the wrong note
March 22, 2009
By Claire Angelique

“Oh my baby, I have just one thing to say to you, amandhlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

“Um, ja, hmmm, what can I say, I know I might be contradicting myself here but …”

“As I’ve said before at this stage of the competition its very important that you give a defining performance and that was quite frankly …”

“‘Never mind those two, I thought you were rocking”, “Not dynamic enough”, “You got it baby”, “I was bored”, “It was kind of cheesy”, “I love you, my baby.”

Recognise these gems? Well, if your Sunday evenings are as boring as mine you must be tuned into the circus of performing monkeys commonly known as South African Idols.

Yes folks, M-Net’s fifth season of Idols is shamelessly slurping up your money in the guise of your choosing the next big thing.

That is if you’re gullible enough to spend R2 per SMS voting for your favourite and, boy, is there a desperate batch of contestants to endure before one is crowned king.

King? Well if we take Sony/ BMG honcho Dave Thompson’s word, this year it’s going to be the unfairer sex that will win the car, the contract and the fame.

The thing is, though, is that this year’s Idols just feels hackneyed and amateurish. As does the new presenter, Liezel van der Westhuizen.

Internet forums and Monday morning coffee machine conversations are filled with remarks about the sub-standard quality of the contestants in comparison to, say, the initial glory years enjoyed by Idols, which spawned real talent such as winner Karin Kortjé and Melanie Lowe (who came third) or media darlings Heinz Winckler (winner) and ex-presenter Colin Moss

This year, by discontinuing the judges’ vote, it’s a wonder why they’re even there in the first place.

After four seasons anybody with half a memory can quite easily predict their commentary.

 

Randall Abrahams,
as seen in the MNET TV guide

Randall, a calculating, serious, no-nonsense doubting Thomas, ensures that contestants are kept in their place before their heads explode. Sloth-like Dave’s observations are as exciting as a marmite sandwich, while Gareth, the opportunistic Hollywood-styled Adonis, obviously wants to see a bit more of Pixie Bennett – and that’s not only about her making it through to the final three. Finally we have Mama Africa, Mara, who can hardly contain her excitement when one of her many “babies” actually manages to hit a note.

[click here to read more]

Good work, Claire! And I strongly advise the readers to read the rest of her article, because she seems to have nailed it on the head and has an acute understanding of the pain and embarrassment that we all feel when we see how a clever TV franchise has completely wasted and abused by our local broadcasters.

I still can’t quite understand why they didn’t get the likes of Johnny Clegg, Arno Carstens or McCully Workshop to do the judging. Christ, even Danny K and Patricia Lewis would have added some credibility and quality and, dare I say, professionalism.

So sad.

[thanks francois]

This, combined with the fact that Randall Abrahams has very rudely not responded to my acceptance of his challenge he gave me, and the fact that he confirmed on national radio that he will not be voting in the upcoming general election (thus promoting one of the biggest problems we face in our country’s electoral process – getting people to actually vote) I have no reservations showing you things like this.

Spotted in the MNET TV guide for February 2009.

Randall with what-looks-like
a cock in front of his face

Whahahaha! How AWESOME is that? I cannot contain myself!

But keep reading and check out the whole page below. It’s in the MNET TV guide – you can go check out yourself. It’s so amazing when you see it for the first time.

I laughed for a while, but then I was left stunned, wondering how it is possible that it went to print, with no one at DSTV picking up that the finger he is holding up, looks like a massive pink cock. Maybe they knew, but let it go ahead anyway?

If they did, then they are my new heroes.

The page looks fairly harmless at first. But then your eyes are drawn down to the bottom right.

Weird how Randall claims his failed character is not based
on US Idols judge, Simon Cowell. Yet MNET are compelled
to show their pictures side by side. With a big pink cock.

No, I don’t think it gets any better than that.

But finally, enjoy this beautiful story I received:

Seth,

I meant to tell you about this amid all the idols shpiel that’s been happening: I was on a kulula flight back from Joburg with your mate Randall, and the kulula flight attendant, upon landing in Cape Town, welcomed everyone to the mother city, and then gave a special mention to Randall (who sat there with a mouth full of teeth, looking like he had just had shot of malt vinegar). The attendant then joked that he wanted to audition for idols (note the non-use of capitals), and would like to sing for Randall – and so he did. And he sang Umshini Wam – the full unedited version – to the whole plane over the intercom!! Classic! Randall, needless to say, had a look akin to someone who had just been served turd soufflé with cholera jus. Fail.

Andrew

Very good, Andrew.

That was VERY good, my friend.

[thanks dad]

that was obviously after OUR whole debacle with him and fellow judge, Randall Abrahams. You might be interested that Dave responded to the Mail & Guardian in the letters section. Here it is:

Does Basson have an agenda?

I’m intrigued by Adriaan Basson’s assumption that Idols contestants, or at least the one he’s defending, are “defenceless” (February 13). They enter willingly, and present themselves to the judging panel.

 

DT is in the HOUSE!!

These contestants not only have every right to disagree with us but in fact are encouraged to launch their own verbal attacks. If they’re not inclined to engage with us directly they have another opportunity, post-audition, to enter the “rant and rave” room and vent their frustration or anger in any language they want, which is filmed for later broadcast.

The judges certainly have no opportunity to defend themselves, just as we can’t be protected from the dozens of websites and blogs that daily spew forth their distaste for us. Most of them threaten a lot more than just wanting to moer us. In fact, I would have expected Basson’s article to appear on one or other showbiz gossip site rather than in the M&G.

I’m unconvinced that Basson has really leaped to this individual’s defence. I’m inclined to believe he has a personal agenda against me or Idols in general. If this is the case, he’ll need to get in the queue with all the other armchair critics who insist they never watch Idols. — Dave Thompson, Idols judge

Nice. But the best part MUST be the reference to 2oceansvibe as a “showbiz gossip site.” Come on, Dave, it’s SO much more than that. It’s not a showbiz gossip site. It’s a LIFESTYLE. It’s a vibe that I want you to be a part of. Come play, Dave. Please? [showing frown, with bottom lip sticking out]

Herewith, the other letters that came in following the M&G article:

Thank you, Adriaan Basson, for your article on the humiliation of the “boy from Ceres” on Idols (“Angry little fat man”, February 13). Talk about trampling on the downtrodden. Talk about smug power thrills. It was devastating to witness the Idols judges’ total lack of emotional intelligence, delivering a self-glorifying tirade of abominable abuse. It reeked of sadism. — Colette van Niftrik, Cape Town

And:

I applaud Basson’s article on Idols. I also found the denigration of vulnerable young people by the show’s judges appalling. Idols is supposed to promote talent, but instead it is used as a vehicle for the self-promotion of a self-satisfied panel of parochial nobodies, best described as uncouth, ill-mannered and ignorant. The kindest thing that can be said about Randall Abrahams is that his obvious inferiority complex is well justified. — George Mackintosh, Hout Bay

Awesome.

[thanks shaun]

More importantly, we hope you witnessed the letter Randall Abrahams (Idols judge) sent to 2oceansvibe and the video we made in response to his email – to which we have had no reply.

Seth Rotherham
In training during the filming of the video

The video has been seen over 42,000 times! And if you weren’t one of those, I suggest you check it out ASAP!

Here it is:

CLICK HERE for more 2oceansvibe.TV videos

Too awesome for human consumption.

I forwarded the story to a friend of mine (The Fruit Farmer) and he said he witnessed the same thing, adding that the kid in question was definitely the kind of kid you wouldn’t want to do that to. He said the name “special” could even come to mind. Enjoy this article, from Mail & Guardian:

Dave Thompson

Angry little fat man

I don’t even remember his name.

All I know is that the boy was from Ceres in the Western Cape, had no front teeth and worked as a “waitron”.

He was obviously poor: his clothes were old and uncool and he spoke bad English in a strong Plattelandse accent. He was never going to make it past the first round of the Idols audition in Cape Town.

He started to sing some jazz number about love. Don’t ask me the name — the only words I could make out were “love” and “tonight”, frequently in sequence.

My partner and I chuckled away as we eagerly drank our red wine in anticipation of another session of hilarious reality TV.

The last time M-Net broadcast the first-round auditions of Idols we were on holiday in a showery KwaZulu-Natal and we spent most of our time glued to channel 198.

Although I find the judging panel quite boring, there have been times when Randall Abrahams or Gareth Cliff had me in stitches with their uncouth remarks.

Not this time.

The boy from Ceres was stopped and the panel, specifically Abrahams and Dave Thompson, decided to put him in his place in a manner that reminded me of two old apartheid generals. What followed was a sadistic orgy of public abuse.

Abrahams started the assault: “I want you to promise me one thing today, my boy, you must promise me this thing … that you will never ever again, not when a song enters your head, you must promise me that you will never again open your mouth to sing.”

The boy looked bewildered and shaken. Abrahams, in an even more aggressive and threatening tone, continued: “Do you understand me? Do you promise me that you will never ever sing again?”

Pathetic and powerless, the boy nodded and waited to hear what the rest of the generals had to say. Cliff disapproved briefly and Mara Louw was unconvincing with her attempt to tell the boy in polite language to fuck off.

But it was Thompson who saved the worst for last. “No, go back and ask people if they want fries with their food. Okay? That’s what you must do. You must ask people whether they want fries with their food.”

At that moment the boy couldn’t take the battering any longer and walked out of the studio.

My partner and I felt traumatised. We wanted to moer fat Thompson and console the boy before he caught the train or taxi or bakkie back to Ceres.

What kind of person casually abuses a defenceless, pathetic child who has possibly done the bravest thing in his life? Why crush the spirit of someone clearly incapable of appreciating your wicked sense of “humour”?

I don’t know. What I do know is that we won’t be tuning into channel 198 any time soon.

[more here]

We have already proved that Idols is unconstitutional. And now this!

How long can it go on for?

[thanks george]

..and the hits just keep on comin’

I had another perverted tingle down my back and I turned on the Idols highlights channel for a minute. I just wanted to to see if my strike rate would continue and, would you believe it, the famous Erasmus quote, “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.” came out as:

“one eye is king“

Jesus! Are MNET feeding this guy quotes that don’t come out naturally? It just seems so constant! Seriously, you shouldn’t risk it if you don’t understand it.

It’s like watching a slow-motion car crash. It’s horrific and gory to watch, but you can’t help looking..

[thanks dan]

Desperate measures to save the show in this, the Dying Swan scene.

From TVSA:

For the first time in a season of the show Idols has saved us hours of horror and gone straight from the countrywide audition rounds to a narrowed down Top 14.

In previous seasons the viewer-voting rounds have started with a Top 24 but this time round the judges have narrowed things down to 14 instead.

In last nights’ episode Randall Abrahams made the announcement and the finalists were sifted and revealed.

As from next Sunday (22 February) the 14 begin the scrabble to win votes to stay in the game – with the first challenge to reach the Top 10.

After their performances on Sunday the voting lines will open for 24 hours and the two with the least votes will be eliminated in Monday’s results show (23 February).

[click here for more and to see the final 14]

You can see the final 14 here.

Not that you need to, this guy is going to win.

Cameron Bruce
..this year’s IDOLS winner

Well done, Cameron.

I do hope you’re aware of Dave Thompson’s confirmation that whoever wins is irrelevant?

]]> http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/17/this-guy-will-win-idols/feed/ 4 http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/16/dave-thompson-quits-idols/ http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/16/dave-thompson-quits-idols/#comments Mon, 16 Feb 2009 10:00:00 +0000 Seth Rotherham http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2009/02/16/dave-thompson-quits-idols/ Read more...

No, I am not joking.

Yes, she is 20.

Here is another shot.

You can see more pics of Casey Carlson here.

Why don’t we get stuff like that?

Here in South Africa… in the real world… our current hottest contestant (as far as I’ve seen so far) is this little Durban angel, Angelique *ahem* Grobler.

Angelique Grobler
Cute

Gareth Cliff nearly jizzed in his pants when he saw her.

Randall and Dave Thompson were much the same.

Mara never spoke. That time.

Slightly earlier on she (Mara) got all teary eyed when a young African fellow sang a song by the late Miriam Makeba. When it came to judging, Dave Thompson pulled a corker out of his arse when he said, “Out of respect to Miriam Makeba, I think Mara should decide for all of us if you go through to the next round or not.”

Huh?

What the fuck are you talking about, Dave?

Based on WHAT?

Her being black?

Her being dead?

With all due respect to Miriam, what does that have to do with anything?

If someone sings a Nina Simone song in American Idols, do you think they would leave it up solely up to Paula Abdul to decide?

If someone sings an Elvis song are you going to pick up a phone and let me decide?

No you wouldn’t. It’s just so fucking awkward and soulless in the local Idols show and panel that they have created this overly-contrived air and unwritten decision to form these pathetic baseless little stories and “moments” out of sweet fuck-all. Each moment so goddamn glaring and false that one wonders at what point the show will be deemed unconstitutional and taken off air.

You think I’m joking?

I refer, of course, to section 10, chapter 2 of the Bill of Rights of the Constitution:

10. Human dignity

Everyone has inherent dignity and the right to have their dignity respected and protected.

Taking the entire country for a poes shows no respect for anyone’s dignity and the show is therefore, QUITE CLEARLY, unconstitutional.

Can someone please get William Booth on the line!

In an unprecedented move, MNET’s IDOLS website have published an article on the official Idols webpage. CLICK HERE for that.

In response to Seth Rotherham’s video acceptance of Idols judge Randall Abraham’s challenge, by way of a televised charity boxing match, they (MNET and Idols) have have acknowledged the situation, as South Africa stands by..

IDOLS “BEACH” SESSION

2oceansvibe.com editor declares war on Randall following Mr Nasty’s defense of a comment made by fellow judge, Dave! And it could end in fisticuffs!

Randall then got involved and sent the following to Seth “Finally, if you need to resort to expletives to make your points perhaps you would want to engage me face to face – in order to test both my intelligence and my patience. This is an open invitation!”

Ooooh! Seth took what has since become a very public debate one step further by producing an extremely funny Rocky-style video montage of himself warming up on the beach ending with an invitation to a public punch up to settle matters.

Will Randall accept? We anxiously await his response…

Catch all of the banter on 2oceansvibe.com and watch Seth’s challenge video.

[more here]

It’s all happening.

South Africa holds its collective breath..

If you’ve missed all the action up to now, read this to get the full rundown and video response from Seth.

But, for now, have a listen to the rundown by KFM and SA’s number 1 DJ, Richard Hardiman (“Harders“), live on air (drive show 3pm-7pm) on KFM today.

Nice..

Within 24 hours I received emails from both Idols judges mentioned in the story, Dave Thompson and Randall Abrahams. I published and responded to Dave’s email in the article entitled DAVE THOMPSON CONFIRMS WINNING MEANS NOTHING. And now, I give you Randall’s email and my response in video format.

Randall’s email:

Randall Abrahams

From: Randall Abrahams [mailto:randall@praekelt.co.za]
Sent: 06 February 2009 03:22 AM
To: editor@2oceansvibe.com
Cc: dave.thompson@sonybmg.com; shaun.myburg@sonybmg.com
Subject: Idols 5

Dear Seth,

I read with keen interest your comments relating to this latest
season of the show and issues related to Dave and myself

Firstly, who exactly are you and what exactly qualifies you to make
these willfully attention-seeking comments?!

As Dave pointed out in his mail – you seem to spend an inordinate
amount of time and effort attempting to apply Chomsky to Idols – are
you by any chance in the process of completing a doctoral thesis?

It is your contention that I am the “Simon Cowell” of the group -
this is a view held by several others? Have you ever met Simon or
worked with him? Or are you basing your humble opinion on a
comparison between an American and a South African reality television
show?

Finally, if you need to resort to expletives to make your points
perhaps you would want to engage me face to face – in order to test
both my intelligence and my patience. This is an open invitation!

Finally, I resent your overall (dis)regard for both my own and Dave’s
professional integrity and our professional backgrounds to date.
Yours is not an opinion shared by large numbers of people in the
entertainment industry but as you’re so well versed I’m sure you know
what they say about opinions

My warmest regards

Randall

By its very nature you can only have ONE “finally,” Randall.

Anyway, we get the idea.

Please find my video response below:

Over to you, Randall..

Dave “DT” Thompson

You might want to CLICK HERE to read that article before I show you the emails I received yesterday from both Dave Thompson and Randall Abrahams who seemed to lose all sense and felt compelled to write to my humble self from the great dizzy heights of the power house that is SA’s Sony BMG.

This, the email from Dave:

From: Dave.Thompson@sonymusic.com [mailto:Dave.Thompson@sonymusic.com]
Sent: 05 February 2009 04:12 PM
To: editor@2oceansvibe.com
Cc: randall@praekelt.co.za; gareth.cliff@5fm.co.za; Shaun.Myburg@sonymusic.com
Subject: Idols 5

Hey Seth

Good to know you’re fully tuned into Idols to the point that you even watch the highlights channel!

Strange behaviour for someone who clearly despises the judges, and I guess the show in general.

Anyway, I thought I’d just clarify a few points that may set your mind at ease regarding future seasons of Idols.

My comment regarding “the competition continuing after this year” was no slip of the tongue. It’s a plain and simple fact.

Since Idols 1, M-Net have never committed to more than one season at a time. This season is no different.

In fact in most instances the judges receive a brief call from the producers of the show about four weeks before the first day of shooting, informing us that the next series has been approved.

So it would be irresponsible of me to advise any contestant to try again next time, when I honestly don’t know [and nor does anyone else] if there will be “a next time”

Who informed you that Idols doesn’t work? Why would M-Net commission a 5th series if it didn’t?

M-Net measures their results by advertising revenue and viewership, and Idols is one of their most successful franchises. What happens to the contestants whether they win or not, has no impact ,positive or negative on M-Net.

So come on Seth, change channels, and let Idols continue in the same successful vein as they have been for the past seven years.

Cheers

Dave

Hey Dave,

Thanks for the email and for taking the time out to stop everything and step down from the awesome heights of Sony BMG (South Africa) in order to write an email to me and 2oceansvibe within 24 hours of my original article. I’m genuinely blown away that you felt so compelled to explain yourself at such great length. Really there was no need. I wasn’t going to send you to the headmaster (or rather, your emperor in Japan..).

Before going on I simply must ask – did you find the article because you read my site, or did someone send it to you? Or was it because the article is number one in Google for the search “dave thompson idols?”

DAVE! You were Googling yourself, weren’t you!!??

Thank you for explaining to me the reason why the South African Idols winners do so poorly. As you said, “What happens to the contestants whether they win or not, has no impact, positive or negative on M-Net.”

I must then ask the question, is Idols a vehicle for SonyBMG (and a cosy relationship with MNET) or for the talent of South Africa?

It’s nothing new, I suppose, the big record label bullying is well documented. With big-fish-small-pond SonyBMG’s (SA) draconian ways and bigger-than-thou attitude and no understanding of the new music revolution (digital + marketing etc), it’s no surprise that it’s all turning into a bit of a Homewreck.

Thank you also for “clearing up” the matter regarding next season and the fact that absolutely no-one is sure that there will be another show.

For someone with SO much experience and SO much respect in “the industry” I cannot fathom why you would make the COMPLETE rookie error of interfacing directly with someone who has a rant and judges you on a blog site.

In fact, isn’t that what your job is on Idols?

Wow, I think I know a little boy who can’t take what he gives?

This is the big league, Dave

Grow up.

My very best,

Seth Rotherham

ps. please thank Randall for his messages he gave me on Gareth Cliff’s 5fm morning show. I’ll be responding to that and his email to me a little later.

Dave Thompson suggests
Idols has been given a final chance

In an incredibly amateurish bungling err , Idols judge Dave Thompson let slip that there may well be no more Idols competitions after this one.

Following the audition of a slightly plump Durban girl who didn’t make it through, Thompson commented, “IF this competition continues after this year, please come back and try again.”

With only one out of the four past winners becoming CLOSE to being a household name (Heinz Winckler), it is QUITE evident that MNET bosses have given the team a last chance at making this abortion work; otherwise the series is over. Either that, or it IS over following this season. Why else would Dave Thompson to make the Freudian slip?

Unless his contract hasn’t been renewed and there is some bitterness?

Can you imagine Simon Cowell saying, “IF this competition continues next year…”

Please man, that would NEVER happen, even if it WAS true! That is the difference between professionals and our bunch of neophytes.

Randall Abrahams, for example, tried to have a go at a contestant after finding out that she was a music teacher. So he says to her, “Do you know the saying? Hey? Those who don’t do, teach.“

Randall Abrahams
“Those who don’t do, teach”
*FAIL*

No, no, no… You’re wrong Randall, you’re fucking wrong and you’re fucking clueless and an embarrassment to SA broadcasting and the country as a whole. The phrase is Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach. The general day-to-day short form (which it seems you were trying very hard to pretend to understand and use), however, is just the end part : Those who can’t, teach.

I mean how is it possible that the “Simon Cowell” of the group be such an imbecile? Surely that goes against the very fabric of the concept of the character? The thing that makes Simon Cowell good is he is QUITE clearly intelligent. He would NEVER make an error like that.

This show is a satire at best. SA’s IDOLS is basically the Spinal Tap of the world’s Idol competitions.

My left ball could do a better job than these clowns.