Crispy
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Good morning, friends! Sorry I missed you yesterday - I was coming out of the arse end of the weekend. So much to tell.

I don't have a specific topic to wow you with, but rather different random thoughts.

I'll start with the movie The Da Vinci Code. One word...... rubbish. It's complete rubbish. I've been in discussions about this with friends and, not only are we disappointed with the movie, but we are also angry. We're angry with Hollywood for treating us like a bunch of idiots. They took something that the world was currently interested in and they farted it onto a screen in front of us. The script and dialogue was so drab I actually found myself laughing through most of the movie. Don't watch it. They don't deserve your money. Rather watch Shopgirl or Prime.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but Harrison Ford's new movie, Firewall, is EASILY the worst movie I have ever encountered in my life. Give it a wide birth and shoot Ford in the face if you run into him.

Lunch at Harbour House in Kalk Bay on Sunday was a total and utter dog show. I won't get into it, but we had a table of 15 and the waiter didn't know if he was having a shit or a haircut. Food took an hour and a half to come.

A quick question for Koeberg power station : Don't you find it embarrassing that we are the only province in the WORLD who are acutely aware of what "unit" is currently running at their respective power station? It's amazing! 80% of the Western Cape are well aware that Koeberg's 'unit 2' is shutting down and 'unit 1' will be on full power - hilarious! Should we even know that power stations have 'unit's'?

Regarding the BBC cab driver story, people are writing in telling me that it wasn't a cab driver and that it was, in fact, a guy who came in for an interview. If you look below the video clip, you will see a comment from me stating that it actually doesn't make a difference! THE GUY WAS THERE BY MISTAKE - THAT IS THE CRUX OF THE JOKE. Oh my God, now we find out he was a window washer at the BBC !!! Arrrrgh! The story is ruined!!! God.....give me a break.

I forgot to show you this very interesting pic of a statue of Britney Spears giving birth to her first child, Sean Preston. The artist, Daniel Edwards, has called it a "monument to pro life". I don't think the details are that important. I think we all have a dirty desire to see the back of the statue. Click the pic below to see the back angle - hilarious.

Hi there, Britters. How are we?

While we're at it, here's a statue someone else did of Kate Moss

Awesome

Ok, moving forth - someone sent in this pic of Seth Rotherham at the 24 hour Woolworths (a gift from God) at the Gardens Engen garage. The pic was taken on Friday night and the sharp shooter claims I was with the "13 year old". He went on to ask what I have gotten myself into. I'll begin by saying I was merely standing next to the girl and have never met her in my life. Secondly, I'll think you'll find she was nearer to 17 - which should never be a problem. Thirdly, and most importantly, I'd say in this case the age is not the problem - we should focus more on the little one's APPALING fashion sense and her apparent addiction to Nik Naks and Kit Kats.

I went to Cokey Falkow's new show last night at 'On Broadway'. It will be running for a while and I highly recommend it. Any comedian that gets an audible laugh from me deserves the highest praise. Cokey is in a league of his own.

Let's wrap it up now. Loads more to come this week. I know you're getting cold as winter approaches. I wish I could hold you all in my arms and cuddle you and make you soup and tickle you and make you hot water bottles and photograph you as you sleep and make a collage.

Enough.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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