My beautiful babies,
Daddy has snuck out of town for a month. I know I should have told you properly before I left, but if I had done that, you wouldn’t have let me leave. Everyone knows that an “Eagle Claw,” when performed by a model, is infinitely stronger than a Pit-Bull’s lock jaw. I couldn’t risk that, after all, Provence needs me too.
Yes, you heard me.. Provence. Or “Menerbes,” to be precise. To fill you in even further, Menerbes is in the Luberon Valley region of Provence. We have a sweet spot there and it’s about 20 minutes drive from Avignon.
So I flew from DF Malan to Amsterdam’s Schiphol (sounds like poephol – what a lag) airport, and then on to Marseilles airport. Yes, that’s in France – the same place where very short men are allowed to rule the country and bang Rolling Stone hand-me-down supermodels at the same time.
Then it’s 50 minute drive to Menerbes. Here’s a bit of background:
So much has been written about Provence and its villages that it is tempting to list what you’re NOT going to experience in Menerbes.
You’re not going to find hordes of tourists tramping up and down the tiny cobbled streets and peering into your windows; nor will you sight a souvenir stall selling t-shirts and other tacky memorabilia. Traffic is very limited (for residents only) due to the narrowness of the roads and there is almost no parking available, except for a car park located on the edge of the village.
There are no fast-food shops and only one, tiny fruit and vegetable store. A butcher and a bakery make up Menerbe’s entire food shopping complement.
Market day is on Thursday and well worth a visit – it is located in the public parking area, close to the bouledrome.
Menerbes is famous for its beauty, as well as the fact that Picasso’s lover Dora Maar lived there for 42 years. Her residence has been restored to its former grandeur and there are also a few art galleries you may wish to visit during your stay.
The village churches are definitely worth seeing, including a 12th Century chapel located on the edge of the town and Saint Hilaire Abbey just 3.5km away. There is also the fascinating truffle museum and wine-tasting centre (Maison de la Truffe et du Vin du Luberon), and corkscrew museum (Musée du Tire-bouchon).
However, it’s the view and the atmosphere that make Menerbes one of the most special places in Provence. Look one way and you are afforded panoramic views of the Luberon Valley, glance over your shoulder to take in the majestic Mont Ventoux. The valley is scattered with spaghetti-like threads of farm roads weaving patterns through the vineyards, cherry tree groves, irises, lavender and poppy fields – the classic delights of Provence laid out at your feet.
Menerbes has three restaurants ranging from mid-priced traditional fare, ‘cheap and cheerful’ meals and a spectacular terrace/bar.
Yes, you’re spot on – it’s a joke
Shame
Sorry, I forgot to mention that the mayor of the town is Yves Rousset-Rouard, who happens to be the man who gave the world the Emmanuelle films. He basically found soft porn. He also happens to own the Corkscrew Museum museum.
“Emmanuelle” – created by the mayor of Menerbes..
I would like to add that you shouldn’t worry or panic at all. Seriously, nothing will change on the website. All it means is that you won’t be able to touch my actual flesh. Truth be told, I’m actually trying to ween you off my flesh. You’re too old to have a doodoo, anyway.
I’m going to answer your next question before you ask it. YES, 2oceansvibe Radio will carry on as usual! I will be broadcasting live from Provence, just like we do every Friday morning 08h00 to 09h30. That’s how goddamn wired and hi-tech we are! I managed to fit all the 2OV Radio equipment into my new Thule wheelie bag – which means you will be getting the same high-quality sound and awesome vibes comin’ right atcha!
The new Macbook Pro and Thule wheelie bag
Easily the best wheelie bag I have had in my life!
Would it be showing off to tell you, in the same breath, that the Macbook Pro in the pic above is actually brand new. That’s right, my friends, it is the new Apple MacBook Pro 15″ 2.66GHz. I haven’t had a chance to make love to it yet, but I have a feeling that mood will be just right tonight..
Find the right Apple Mac for you – go to Digicape right now. They take special care of 2oceansvibers.
I must tell you that the metal detector guys at DF Malan and Schipol airport weren’t quite sure when the bag went through the X-Ray machine. I don’t know what it looks similar to, on the X-Ray, but the okes got really worked up. Then they opened it and the oke tuned me, “Are you a DJ?”
And I was like, “Ja, I’m a DJ.”
Which is hilarious, ‘cos I’m not. But I couldn’t exactly tell him the truth, that I am a global symbol of awesome vibes and smooth sexual flavours, which sometimes gets beamed over the internet. They wouldn’t have digged that.
Speaking of weening off, I have had to ween myself of De Grendel for the last few days, as there was no more room in my luggage. So I’m onto to the Provence Rose wine for the next month.
It’ll have to do!
To you..
So here’s to you – don’t think I don’t miss you. I do. I’m basically bleeding inside.
Just remember,
I love you
xxx
ps. you can read up about daily life in Provence on my dad’s blog – www.livingstylishlywell.com
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