We all know Nelson. We all love Nelson.

Nelson’s gonna be at the opening ceremony this arvi, and by all predictions, he should be there for a wopping fifteen minutes or so.

Why so little? Well, he happens to be a little shagged out from dedicating his life to reasoned argument, armed struggle, brutal imprisonment and hardcore peacemaking, all in the small labour of overthrowing an evil, racist regime.

So you can understand, the man needs his nap. Nevertheless, South Africa’s Vice President, Sepp Blatter, wants Nelson there, so he’s gonna be there.

What should you do if you encounter the great man?

1. Drop to your knees
2. Rub his belly in a clockwise motion
3. Wait for the Geni to appear
4. Think carefully
5. Use your three wishes (tip: South Africa will never forgive you if you don’t use at least one wish to get Bafana Bafana past the first round).

Game on, people!