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Seth Rotherham
  • JOBURG MINE HOUSE DIGS A PORTAL TO HELL

    14 Jun 2010 by Jasmine Stone in Uncool

    If you, like me, are something of an amateur (read: ignorant) economist, then you’ve probably wondered on occasion why gold is so friggin expensive.

    Part of the answer is definitely due to the fact that mining houses share their office space with Satan and his cronies.

    A Johannesburg mining house, Central Rand Gold (CRG) decided to slaughter a goat and a cow this week for the benefit of the workers.

    Awesome! Spitbraai!

    No, not spitbraai. And definitely a few degrees shy of awesome. This particular slaughter was executed (note the wordplay):

    in an effort to seek a ‘peaceful coexistence’ between its workers and the spirits roaming its mines.

    Oh ja, in an effort to seek – hold on.

    We know that Joburg mines are the deepest in the world, but don’t you guys reckon you might have dug a little too deep?

    And another thing, why a cow and a goat? Everyone knows depressive, middle class virgins are the most effective sacrifice.

    Twilight fans! You now have a purpose in life! And that purpose is to be sacrificed at the altar of gold production.

    [Source : Business Report]

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