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Seth Rotherham
  • The La Fee Absinthe-Minded Moment Of The Week

    06 May 2011 by Jasmine Stone in Quality Humour
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    We all have our lapses of judgment. But some of us make such horrendously poor decisions that one simply has to ask, “What were they on?”. Every week we bring you three contenders in what can only be described as a battle of small wits. So, with great pleasure we present this week’s three La Fee Absinthe-Minded Moment of the Week finalists. Inside we have Donald Trump, Princess Beatrice, and Sheryl Cwele. But who claims the prize for the most mindbogglingly foolish tomfoolery of the week? Click through to find out!

    In third place – Donald Trump

    The Donald recently announced his intention to run as a Republican presidential candidate in the not-too-distant US Presidential Elections. He kicked off his campaign for his would-be campaign by positioning himself at the forefront of the Birther Movement – a loose collection of neoconservatives, conspiracy theorists and auld-guard racists who claimed that Barrack Obama had been born out of the United States, and was thus ineligible to stand or serve as the United States President. The Birther Movement’s argument was shot down in flames early in the week when the State of Hawaii released Barrack Obama’s original long-form birth certificate, thereby ending speculation and rumour-mongering. But Obama didn’t stop there. He flamed Trump (who was present at the time) at the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner – playing the opening scene of The Lion King as his “birth video”. Trump didn’t laugh. Obama played the house like a master. Trump, loses!

    In second place – Princess Beatrice

    If ever there was an excuse to dress for the nines, a wedding would be it. The Royal Wedding between Catherine “Not A Social Climber” Middleton and HRH Prince William was no different. Haute couture was a done-deal. Elton John would be there, after all. Even HRH The Queen surprised with a canary yellow get-up. Hats were out in force, too. There was the sassy, the understated, the chic, and the weird – but perhaps none so weird as the crowning glory that was Princess Beatrice’s, which looked convincingly like the badly-mated offspring of an ocean-going mollusk and a meringue. Try harder when Harry and Pippa roll around, Beatrice.

    The winner – Sheryl Cwele

    One might think that the wife of South Africa’s State Security Minister, Siyabonga Cwele, would know better than to dabble in the murk of the underworld. Alas, one absinthe-minded woman from the bustling metropolis of Uvongo on KwaZulu-Natal’s South Coast did not have the presence of mind to abstain from heading up a drug trafficking ring when her husband took his position. Yesterday afternoon, the Pietermaritzburg High Court found Sheryl Cwele and two other defendents guilty of international drug trafficking, and the soliciting of drug mules – a number of whom are languishing in international gaols (Brazil being one of them) after being sold down the proverbial Amazon by Cwele. What were you thinking, Sheryl? You must surely have been drinking absinthe.

    Until next week, fairies!

    • ← Brazil Legalizes Same-Sex Civil Unions
    • Homo-Erotic Nude Photos Of Kate Middleton’s Brother Emerge →
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