Guys, Jacob Zuma’s weekend was ruined.

The annual reed dance, hosted by King Goodwill Zwelithini in Zululand, was in shambles this past weekend when some of the virgin maidens brought with them evil spirits.

How dare they.

King Goodwill was distressed and annoyed as he was supposed to address the some 40 000 maidens with Jacob Zuma by his side. JZ, however, was afraid, and rushed off the stage as the possessed and agitated maidens approached the ‘royal’ duo.

Thankfully, JZ’s body guards were there to fend the demons maidens off.

The King, on the other hand, was about to demand the maidens back to the near empty sports ground to hear his speech, but it was pouring with rain – an apparent blessing in disguise to keep the maidens virgins for another year, it is said – and was advised against it. He still scolded the women for bringing the demons along.

There are some of you who came here with evil spirits to spoil this event.

You see, the maidens wear next to nothing at these reed dances and, along with the evil spirit deep within their soul, the combination of cold rain and demon spirit could make them terribly sick. They had already started crying and hallucinating and rolling around on the ground on Friday, but even though religious leaders were called upon to pray for them, they were still agitated on Saturday.

Tut tut, maidens, next time please leave your evil spirits at home so you can be un-virgined. Thank you.

[source: iol]