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Seth Rotherham
  • Do You Enjoy Online Dating? Then You Must Be White

    21 Oct 2015 by Kiernan in Insight, Relationships, World
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    Let’s clarify a couple of things here right up front – the fact that online dating works better for some than others is what Emi Kolawole, a writer for the Washington Post, whose story was reproduced on IOL believes.

    Secondly she is generally talking about dating sites, not the app where a swipe here and there can land you some company for the evening. With that in mind let’s see what Emi had to say about her experience with online dating:

    Regardless of the type of app or site, online dating works better for some than others – a lot better, in fact. If you’re a black woman, as I am, or an Asian man, OkCupid data shows you’re likely to receive fewer matches and messages.

    My experience reflected this. It became glaringly obvious that I was getting fewer matches and messages than non-black friends…

    Whenever someone tells me that discussing online dating is a waste of time, I refer to that anecdote and two sad truths about the online dating industry that Dating Ring’s founders discovered: First, giving people the tools to act on racial bias is profitable; and second, it is not fair to users who are discriminated against to be matched with people who are biased against their racial group and, as a result, will dismiss them as potential matches.

    onlinedatingracist2

    So Dating Ring moved away from its original design. It allowed users to select the racial groups with which they did not want to be matched…

    At times, online dating as a black woman has been extraordinarily painful. I have desperately wished my friends and peers would more actively and deeply explore how profoundly this disparity in opportunity affects my life and those of millions of others – not to mention how it holds us all back from more equitable and enjoyable dating experiences…

    What if online dating sites called on all users to consider what it means to be a black woman or an Asian man while swiping and messaging? How would behaviours change if people were forced to recognise that you are consistently being rejected, not because of who you are but because of your race?

    Unfortunately Emi, the sad reality remains that these dating sites are not altruistic, they are aimed at making money and operate in the same vein that other business do. As long as they keep the majority of their clients happy we aren’t likely to see change any time soon, meaning your online dating experience will remain one fraught with disappointment.

    [source:iol]

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