We won’t mention names but there are one or two people around these here parts that are edging towards that magical 40 mark. Now other than becoming wise beyond their wildest dreams they face other stark realisations, many of which are laid out by the Telegraph in a brilliant piece titled ‘The Secret Life of a 40-year-old’.
Of course being so young and full of life myself I am unfamiliar with many of these below but over to that writer for the Telegraph to drop a few truth bombs:
Aches and pains become a thing
Every time I move my neck or wrist after a period of inactivity, I hear the sound of someone gently palpating a bag of nachos. Noisier still is the entirely needless grunt I expel as I hoist myself from a chair after dinner.
We want fewer, but better friends
I simply don’t have the time to spend on crazies (a madness score of up to 7/10 is within normal range), untrustworthy gossips or joy-sappers…you don’t attempt to woo those who don’t like you. Quite the opposite – you just cull them from your life without dwelling on why you’re not their bag.
We won’t entertain any holiday accommodation that’s less nice than where we live
I’m old enough to know and accept that Dubai is not for me, and am cheery in the knowledge that I will never go skiing anywhere. Otherwise, any week off in which I laugh, eat and watch films somewhere lovely with my partner, constitutes the holiday of a lifetime.
We wonder about those in charge
I look at almost everyone in a position of authority – doctors, teachers, bank managers, librarians – and invariably think they look about nine.
We know the price AND value of everything
Despite my new found appreciation for the preciousness of time, I waste hours of the stuff on wholly irrelevant pursuits…I now keep warranty cards, register appliances, insure everything up the wazoo and will never let my AA cover lapse, because I no longer enjoy the blind optimism of youth.
Looks still matter
I’m not thrilled that my eyelids are hooding slightly and I definitely do care that I’m a whole dress size bigger. Just not enough to get surgery, take up yoga and pretend that shredded courgettes are any kind of substitute for spaghetti.
We can say sorry
I am able to say I made a mistake. I make hundreds. I know I’m often wrong about things and I’m happy to say so because the belligerent are completely unbearable company.
Crying becomes a thing too
I cry often – at game show wins, song lyrics, old couples holding hands, dogs with jobs, anything involving war veterans [and] David Attenboroughdocumentaries (especially those featuring polar bears).
We can deal with nuance
Having spent my teens, twenties and thirties feeling entirely certain of my every opinion, I’m now far more likely to say “I don’t know” or “I don’t think it’s that simple”… I walk away from arguments not because I’m vastly more tolerant and nice, but because I can simply no longer be arsed.
Just one glass too many can tip us over the edge of sociablity
I can no longer drink alcohol until it flows from my eye sockets. Today, my head spins and my hangovers are biblical.
To be fair there are a few of these even those of us edging towards 30 can identify with, and that last one rings true for almost everyone except the lucky few who never seem to be struck down with a hangover.
Good luck out there you wise old sages soon ticking over to 40, just remember that growing old doesn’t have to mean growing up.
You can see the Telegraph”s full list HERE.
[source:telegraph]
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