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Seth Rotherham
  • The SONA Infographic That Sums The Whole Evening Up

    12 Feb 2016 by Jasmine Stone in Jacob Zuma, Julius Malema, Politics, South Africa
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    • Friday Morning Spice

    By now you’ve probably sick to death of hearing about last night’s SONA and all that jazz.

    Trust me we get it, and we’re thankful it only comes once a year too, but it was another rather important day in this rollercoaster called 2016.

    The folks over at News24 have prepared an infographic that just about sums it all up, minus the best sign language freestyle you’ll ever see of course.

    Run through it, there are a few nuggets worth digesting in this mix.

    sonainforgaphic

    Much to digest in there, although perhaps the best summary comes from THIS Facebook post:

    Zuma’s speech in short

    There are many anniversaries to acknowledge this year (60 years since 1956 Black Sash, 50 years since District 6 was declared white, 40 years since 76 uprising, 26 years to the day that President Mandela was released from prison)

    Because of Penny Sparrow, Human Rights Day will now be known as the day against racism.

    We aren’t handling the economy very well and it’s not looking great (The Rand fell 0.3% during the speech). But we promise will we do better. The Rand is so weak that it is actually a positive and we should use it to increase inbound tourism and local tourism. That said, we do not want the tourists to stay long enough to purchase property or find employment.

    Every thing in SA is amazing, we have a 9 point plan, that we started last year, (the merits of which are debatable based on the MP heckling at this point).

    Providing a minimum wage is important, very important, we will get it done, soon, sometime, ish (perhaps by the time we forget about Marikana). Department of Trade is doing okay as is the Agricultural Sector, our success story is female security guard who turned out to be a very good farmer.

    We thank Operation Hydrate for their civil action when really, we should have done it ourselves – (access to water is a basic human right).

    We gave students a 0% fee increase and the Finance Minister will have to figure out how we pay for that, but we will also set up (another) commission of enquiry – (we don’t promise to improve the quality of tertiary or basic education though).

    We will save money on the budget by cutting back on the after -party dinner, and reduce the number of people traveling internationally, we said this a few years ago, but we’re saying it again now, just in case you thought we were joking.

    We have not had load shedding since August and will only purchase affordable nuclear power.

    People in SA are living 8 years longer on average, (with more debt, less water and unmanageable inflation).

    We bought 3 big boats and are working on making money from aquafarming.

    The elections are coming up soon, please everybody especially first time voters, please register to vote (and in the same paragraph) we are working on service delivery, I spoke to a man who has a problem with nyaope, (so don’t worry about that).

    We lost 57 police officers last year and urge the police to defend themselves within the confines of the law (unless its against unarmed students, then you can shoot them in the back with rubber bullets ‪#‎UJ‬ and who remembers Sharpeville anyway).

    We hi-5 the arts industry for forming a federation (that we the government instigated and paid R5million for but which has no legal formation) and we went to some important economic talks that fostered strong economic ties (but skipped out on Davos).

    And despite your comments to have me impeached, I laugh in the face of danger, I am the human embodiment of Rescue Remedy, I am not moved. Oh and we’re not going to make those deadlines on the National Development Plans. But we can turn this around, despite the global economic crisis. Change comes from within.

    Yours truly, JZ

    Right we’re done with SONA now, let’s just think about that first post-work bevvie and enjoy the rest of Friday.

    [sources:news24, Yusrah Bardien]

    • ← Road Rager Leaves Off Handbrake – Punishes Himself Badly [Video]
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