Edinburgh Fringe has wrapped up, bringing to a close the largest arts festival on the planet.
Two weeks ago, we ran you through the best jokes and one-liners from the early part of the festival, and now we can reveal who won the highly-coveted “Funniest Joke of The Fringe” award, handed out by comedy channel Dave.
The wonderfully-named Swedish comedian Olaf Falafel is this year’s big winner, having marketed himself as “Sweden’s eighth funniest” comedian.
Here’s the zinger that landed him the prize, from his show ‘It’s One Giant Leek For Mankind’:
“I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’ – I think I might have florets”.
A ‘floret’ is a … you know what, I’m actually not going to explain the joke, because then it loses so much of its punch.
You may recall that Olaf also delivered this classic: “I’m addicted to smoking jackets – I’m on 20 a day – I’ve tried the patches but, if anything, they just make them more fashionable.”
Via the BBC, here are the other nine finalists that Olaf pipped to the post:
“Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they’re happy” – Richard Stott
“What’s driving Brexit? From here it looks like it’s probably the Duke of Edinburgh” – Milton Jones
“A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, ‘Yes, of course. – That’s 20 cows'” – Jake Lambert
“A thesaurus is great. There’s no other word for it” – Ross Smith [below]
“Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It’s the reason I get up in the morning” – Ross Smith
“I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I’m really struggling to get out of it” – Adele Cliff
“After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging – Richard Pulsford
“To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian” – Mark Simmons
“I’ve got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad’s contacts” – Ivo Graham
If none of those brought a smile to your pursed lips, you’re dead inside and I feel for your co-workers.
I do love a challenge, though, so we’re not giving up on you just yet. Here are the winners from each of the past 10 years, via the Independent:
2018 – Adam Rowe: “Working at the jobcentre has to be a tense job, knowing that if you get fired you still have to come in the next day.”
2017 – Ken Cheng: “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.”
2016 – Masai Graham: “My dad suggested I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart.”
2015 – Darren Walsh [below]: “I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.”
2014 – Tim Vine: “I’ve decided to sell my hoover – well, it was just collecting dust .”
2013 – Rob Auton: “I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.”
2012 – Stewart Francis: “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”
2011 – Nick Helm: “I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”
2010 – Tim Vine: “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”
2009 – Dan Antopolski: “Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?”
At this point, there’s not much more we can do to help you – other than point you in the direction of the Telegraph’s 40 best jokes and funniest one-liners from the 2019 Edinburgh Fringe.
[imagesource:here] It feels like an eternity since the Springboks last played a test ma...
[imagesource: John Everingham] We live in a world where you can review just about anyth...
[imagesource: Shutterstock] Here at home, various aspects of daily life are slowly retu...
[imagesource: Carolyn Kaster / Associated Press] Nine Key Takeaways From The Bombshell ...
[imagesource: AFP] Day number 328 of 1 449 as rugby world champions. That means we'r...