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My parents often described their childhoods involving uninterrupted and unobstructed playing on the streets with neighbourhood friends.
Mine and my peers’ childhood in the 90s perhaps wasn’t so far behind, but there was definitely more tension and worry among parents as stories about the dangers posed to kids began to become more widespread.
I felt that anxiety big time when my grandmother, who is an avid YOU Magazine reader, would warn me to never leave her side in Pick ‘n Pay in case I got stolen.
Nowadays, things are even more intense, and this paranoia has also been compounded by the COVID-19 pandemic.
The Guardian reports that there’s been a clear message from a child’s perspective, considering the past year and a half of lockdowns, closed schools, and playgrounds, that the outside world is dangerous and that staying at home away from other people is safest.
Generally, parents have different anxieties when it comes to their kids, but some argue that helicopter parenting, as the safety-at-all-costs style of child-rearing has been called, might be doing more harm than good.
Thus, the opposite style of parenting is on the rise, dubbed free-range parenting.
Per Very Well Family, this concept came into the limelight in 2008 when Lenore Skenanzy, a New York columnist, wrote an article titled, “Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone.”
The story gained national attention, with many quick to call Skenanzy “the world’s worst mom”, arguing that her decision bordered on child neglect.
Even though she ensured her son was able to read the subway map and gave him money, equipping him to learn the lessons on his own.
Here’s Skenanzy with her son, Izzy, from around that time:
Skenanzy’s whole point is to encourage other parents to raise independent kids, who can cope in tough situations by making their own healthy choices.
Make no mistake, her free-range parenting movement, which includes a book Free-Range Kids and an organisation called Let Grow, is not about being permissive, uninvolved, and irresponsible.
Instead, it is about preparing kids and letting them be kids, allowing them to explore and learn during playtime as much as possible:
“I was concerned that it’s becoming weird to let your kids outside without either an adult, a cell phone or a GPS of some sort. Kids spend four to seven minutes outside in unstructured, unsupervised time a day here in America.”
She points to a British study that found today’s parents were allowed to play outside unsupervised from the age of nine. Now it’s 11.
“That’s such a giant leap, or step backwards, in one generation. So you’re not letting kids out until they’re hitting puberty? That’s unprecedented.”
Although, there are sometimes legal consequences to practising free-range parenting, reports Parents, adding that local laws should also come into play.
While there are undoubtedly different ideas about how much freedom kids should be allowed to have, some parents feel that times have changed.
Here are a few of the main characteristics of free-range parenting, for your consideration:
- Parents allow for plenty of unscheduled activities. Rather than rushing from violin lessons to soccer practise every day, free-range parents encourage unstructured play. For example, instead of having an adult enforce lots of rules of a baseball game, free-range kids are encouraged to play a pick-up game with their pals in the neighbourhood.
- Playing in nature is important. Free-range kids are encouraged to play outside, rather than use electronics. Free-range parents want their kids to be able to amuse themselves without technology.
- Kids earn their independence. Free-range parents allow kids to earn independence, and they’re granted increased freedom and responsibility gradually.
- Free-range parents don’t parent out of fear. While, many of them enforce safety measures—like wearing a helmet while riding a bike—they also understand that accidents can happen anywhere. They allow their kids to play on the playground and try new things because they know it’s good for them, even though they may get hurt once in a while.
There might be an army of parenting experts telling you that what you’re doing is wrong, but at the end of the day, it is ultimately up to you how you raise your children.
[sources:theguardian&parents&verywellfamily]
