[Image: Grok]
In what might go down as the priciest underwater joyride since The Little Mermaid got a taste for luxury, a California man has officially pleaded guilty to orchestrating a $35 million Ponzi scheme after famously trying to escape the FBI with a sea scooter.
Yes, really.
Matthew Piercey, 48, finally copped to wire fraud, money laundering, and witness tampering recently, almost two years after he made headlines for vanishing into Lake Shasta like a bootleg Jason Bourne on a Yamaha 350Li submersible, Vice reports.
Back in November 2020, the man ditched his pickup at the lake’s edge and dove in with a glorified pool toy that looked like it was borrowed from a theme park stunt show. Agents stood there and watched bubbles rise for nearly 30 minutes before Piercey – cold, soaked, and probably regretting a lot of life choices – popped back up and got himself arrested.
According to prosecutors, this wasn’t just a bizarre escape attempt, it was the soggy finale of a five-year-long hustle. Piercey duped investors into throwing cash at his companies, Family Wealth Legacy and Zolla, by hyping up a mysterious, high-octane trading algorithm dubbed the “Upvesting Fund.” It had all the buzzwords, but sadly, it had none of the actual investing.
“Many invested their life savings…not knowing that the claim of guaranteed returns were the empty promises of a Ponzi scheme,” FBI Special Agent in Charge Sid Patel said in a press release.
Piercey only returned about $8.8 million out of the $35 million haul. The rest? Spent on legal fees, fancy houses, and – you’ll never guess – a houseboat.
He also tried to cover his tracks with all the subtlety of a reality TV villain: urging witnesses to ignore subpoenas and, post-arrest, sending coded jailhouse messages to get his cronies to clear out a U-Haul locker he’d rented under a fake name. What was inside? A wig and ₣31,000 in Swiss francs. Not exactly the starter pack for someone going straight.
His partner in crime, Kenneth Winton, started off as an investor but ended up helping run Zolla – and yes, he’s pleaded guilty too.
Piercey now faces up to 20 years per count, with sentencing set for September 4.
As for the sea scooter? It might still be his. But let’s be real, it won’t do him much good in federal prison, unless he’s planning on scuba-diving through the plumbing. At this rate, you never know.
[Source: Vice]
