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World
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So Hey, They’re Remaking ‘Annie’ With Will Smith’s Daughter
28 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
I can only assume that Will Smith is doing this to punish me for not watching Hitch. I mean, he remade The Karate Kid with his son as the lead, which was fine (awful) except for the part where there was no karate. And now he’s remaking Annie, with Jay-Z’s help. Look out for the ‘Hard Knock Life’ rap.
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Clifton Shores: How The World Ended
27 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Whoof. So they’ve recently released the promo for Clifton Shores, a show about “an American cast coming to live and work in Cape Town where we follow them seeing how interesting their lives get.” So far as I can tell, this is an attempt at placing the Jersey Shore in Cape Town, and it is The Worst Thing.
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Mexican Drug Launcher
27 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
You’ve got to hand it to these Mexican drug smugglers. They spent a lot of time building and testing a drug-launching catapult, only to have the National Gaurd and Mexican cops take it all away from them.
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Anti-Capitalist Rumba Rave [VIDEO]
26 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
They’re Spanish, they’re called FLO6x8 and they don’t seem to like Capitalism. To demonstrate their contempt for the free market this group of radicals engaged in a flash-mob style “Rumba Rave” in a branch of Santander bank.
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Is Your Child A Criminal In The Making?
26 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Is your toddler impulsive, easily frustrated, restless and unable to think about his/her long-term future? If they are, you’re unfortunately the proud parent of a future alcoholic, drug addicted, criminal with no future prospects whatsoever. No, really, that’s a scientific fact.
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Twitter A ‘Form Of Modern Madness,’ Because Of Course It Is.
26 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Oh, good! Somebody with a PHD decided to speak out against ‘the twitters,’ on the ground that social networking websites are making us “less human” by isolating people from reality. Presumably also responsible are trading card games, Playstation, and books.
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South Africa’s Economy Equivalent To Maryland’s, Apparently
25 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
So this is pretty cool! Sort of. If you find random bits of information that you can start awkward conversations with cool. And you should. You really should. The folks at The Economist put together a map of the USA that matches each state with an economically comparable nation, using GDP to measure. And we match with Maryland!
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“Waiter There’s A Shark In My Soup”
25 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 2 Comments
Right, now I’m not really one for social activism, but I have a problem with insecure men with erectile dysfunction killing everything to “get it up”. I’m sure you, like me, despise those who kill rhinos simply to get at the horn, to help the horns of insecure men with erectile dysfunction.
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Woman Jumps Off 23-Storey Building And Survives
25 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
A woman in Argentina flung herself off the top of a 23-story hotel, but her suicide attempt was unluckily thwarted when she landed on a taxi cab, thereby prolonging her life. The lesson being, if you ever find yourself plummeting towards the earth, try locate an empty taxi and get into the ‘bum-first’ position, unless you actually want to commit suicide.
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It Sucks To Live In Washington
25 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Unless you are pretty keen on bestiality that is. The United States of Shame is the internet’s latest creation of aggregated data, and serves up the statistical shameful speciality of each state. For exampple, North Dakota has, statistically-speaking, the highest rate of ugly people in America. Shame.
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Convenience Store Clerk Wards Off Robber With Samurai Sword [VIDEO]
25 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Because this convenience store conveniently has samurai swords just hanging around, I guess. Hey, you guys saw Pulp Fiction, right? Apparently this robber guy had knocked over fourteen 7/11’s before getting chased around and caught by samurai-wielding store clerk over here.
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America’s Justice System Runs Out Of Juice
25 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Foreigners have been meddling in US affairs again and told them that they’re not allowed to have any more sweets. Except in this case they’re not allowed to have any more sodium thiopental. Sodium thiopental is the drug that US States use to lethally inject their murderers, terrorists and other beastly miscreants, and the US can’t get its hands on any of the stuff.
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Monday Education: Whales Have Threesomes
24 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Well I don’t know about you, but I think marine biology just got slightly more interesting. A 2005 paper observing a menage a trois coupling between right whales recently appeared online, with photos that are NSFW but only if your boss knows what you’re looking at or has a working knowledge of whale genitalia.
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Another Reason Not To Emigrate [VIDEO]
24 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Yes, our little country has its issues, but before we all start whinging like the DA on a slow day at parliament, lets just take a moment. It’s Monday, but things could be worse, at least we will never wake up to weather like this…
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New York Mafia Bust – The Best Nicknames
24 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Being the informational leaky sieve that it is, America has blessed us with indictment documents of the 127 New York mobsters who were nicked on the good side of the weekend. The scale of this bust is huge – the largest ever, in fact. But the best thing about this new data is the sublime mafioso nicknames. Check them out after the jump.
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Brilliant Belgian Call Center Prank [VIDEO]
24 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
Some frustrated Belgians put together an elaborate, televised prank to get back at unpopular phone company Mobistar by blocking off their office’s parking lot with a steel container that had a fake customer service number printed on it, and putting callers through the nine rings of customer service hell. Also the pranksters were inside the steel container.
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Hickey-Related Strokes On The Rise
24 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In a bizarre incident of love-gone-wrong, a 44-year-old New-Zealand woman arrived at an Auckland hospital suffering partial paralysis. After mulling it over for a while doctors concluded that the woman had in fact suffered a stroke, induced by a hickey over a major artery in her neck.
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George Clooney’s Darfur Efforts Gets Him Malaria
21 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
George Clooney travelled to Sudan recently to promote peace and love and things and came back with malaria. George becomes the first celebrity to contract malaria while on a cause. Angelina Jolie always makes sure she has repellent and Bob Geldof is said to have a fierce fetish for mosquito nets. This is George’s second bout of malaria. Twice bitten, once shy. Or is it the other way around?
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We Live In The Future: Bus Shelters Are Equipped With Video Games Now
21 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
I mean, obviously not all of them. And I’d be surprised if any of them were here. But still, there exist about 20 bus shelters in San Francisco with touch screens installed by Yahoo! The most surprising thing about that sentence is that Yahoo! is still doing things.
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Paul The Octopus Lives On
21 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Sometimes an octopus, a psychic german octopus to be specific, captures the imagination of the world. Paul was such a creature, successfully predicting the outcome of eight World Cup matches. Unfortunately little Paul passed away in his sleep last October, but fittingly a monument has been built in his honor, so our childrens children will never forget the clairvoyant mollusk.
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Man Mocked For Farting Wreaks Vengeance
21 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
In a story that I find both tragic and bizarre, 21 year old Marc Higgins from Bristol, Connecticut in the USA stabbed four people, killing one, for laughing at his farting.
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Woman Has Bad Luck: Dogs Shot, Ashes Snorted
20 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
In an incredibly sad an somewhat surreal tale, the life of one Ms. Holli Tencza of Ocala, Florida has been ruined by a trigger happy neighbour and the stupidest criminal to grace God’s green earth.
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This Guy Got 1 Million Dollars By Asking The Internet For It
20 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 3 Comments
God, I hate this. Craig Rowin, this guy from the internet who used various Youtube videos to ask random rich people to send him one million dollars for no reason in particular, is now one million dollars richer. Understand that I am not so much congratulating Craig Rowans for milking the internet as I am muttering about not having done it first.
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Are Pigeons The Drug Mules Of Tomorrow?
20 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Police in Colombia have detained a pigeon that was allegedly transporting marijuana to a nearby prison. Apparently, some drug barons had strapped a package to its back and released the desperate little guy into the air, hoping that he would fly over the penitentiary wall into the open arms of some prisoners who were in much need of a spliff.
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DROP EVERYTHING. They’re Selling Whiskey In Cans
19 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / 1 Comment
I’m not sure how to feel about this. Scottish Spirits is testing out canned whiskey in South America on the grounds that outdoor drinkers would rather not have to lug a bottle of the stuff around. You also look like less of an insane drunk if you’re taking sips from a can instead of swigs from a bottle of scotch, so there’s that.
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His Excellency, Robert Mugabe Is Not Sick
19 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
Over the last few days many a report has been circulating claiming that the great proponent of Zimbabwean democracy and all round nice guy Robert Mugabe may be on the dying-side of things. Mugabe’s illness was reported by Britain’s Daily Telegraph; apparently he is in Malaysia, recovering from having the old prostate removed.
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Badvertising: Insanely Inappropriate MLK Day Sale.
18 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
So tomorrow’s Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday! Which is kind of a holiday now. And stores like to celebrate that kind of thing with sales and stuff, because that’s what the King was all about, right? Right. Which is why it is totally sensible for Thalia Surf Shop in Laguna to take 20% off all of it’s black products.
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This Guy Is Trying To Prolong His Perception Of Time By Doing New Or Awkward Things
18 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
The goal here is pretty cool! Sort of. Extend your perception of time by doing new or uncomfortable things – and have more, better memories of a given day than you would if you were doing dull stuff. We like it – we’re all about extending the vibe. Even if uncomfortable things are required of you from time to time.
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Good Idea: Teach Kids To Steal Cars
18 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
As part of Machine Project’s “Good People Doing Bad Things”, apparently teaching kids to break into and hot-wire cars is good for their development. The aim of the project is not so much to turn kids into deviants, but to get them understanding how cars work…
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DIY Gastric Bypass Fun
17 Jan 2011 by Jasmine Stone / No Comments
If you’re as grossly obese as this man taking a brisk walk every couple of days just won’t do when attempting to lose weight. There are a number of reasons for this, foremost amongst which are that you weigh so much that you cannot walk and if you do manage to get up your legs will sheer at the ankles.
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